Camino de Santiago de Compostela

[MoniRose]

I left for the Camino on May 26 and returned home July 12. Since then I have been writing and rewriting, documenting every detail I can remember of my beautiful journey. Tomorrow I am going back to work after three months away, but I am scared. I don't fully know how the Camino has changed me and I am worried that I do not have the same passion for my work as I did when I last worked on May 22.

Tonight I can't sleep, thinking about what tomorrow will be like and what I may continue to discover over the next weeks or months, or rather that the next weeks or months will confirm what I already know.

I don't know who else would understand. Thank you for being here. - m

[mspath]

I left for the Camino on May 26 and returned home July 12. Since then I have been writing and rewriting, documenting every detail I can remember of my beautiful journey. Tomorrow I am going back to work after three months away, but I am scared. I don't fully know how the Camino has changed me and I am worried that I do not have the same passion for my work as I did when I last worked on May 22.

Tonight I can't sleep, thinking about what tomorrow will be like and what I may continue to discover over the next weeks or months, or rather that the next weeks or months will confirm what I already know.

I don't know who else would understand. Thank you for being here. - m

MoniRose,

Re-entry is always difficult!.

Yet how fortunate it is that you have been able to document your 'beautiful journey'. Rereading and reviewing your personal memories shall always bring you the sweet sorrow of recollection.

Nevertheless by means of your writing and documentation now you are able to share your actual experiences and practical advice with future pilgrims on this Forum and elsewhere. As you know such sharing is a large part of the Camino spirit; it help keeps memories current for experienced pilgrims as all recall their journeys anew.

Your feet may be resting but the Camino path never ceases,

Margaret

[julie]

Tonight I can't sleep, thinking about what tomorrow will be like and what I may continue to discover over the next weeks or months, or rather that the next weeks or months will confirm what I already know.

The unearthing goes on for years. Despite having completed a few pilgrimages now, I often re-read my first pilgrim journal as it is the one that sparked the most significant changes.

Sometimes it's difficult to accept the changes in your life. However, try to keep in mind that the Camino doesn't always give us what we want but it does give us the clarity of thought to discern what it is that we need.

[sillydoll]

Walter Starkie describes this state perfectly!
"When, however, those lonely waifs and strays turn their faces homeward after praying at the tomb in Compostella, and reaching the misty land of the Dark Star where the ebbing and flowing tide murmurs at the foot of the World's End, their mental plight resembles that of the monk in ancient times who lingered in the wood, listening entranced to the divine song of a bird in the tree."
The monk only came out of his reverie when he heard the sounds of the bells calling him to prayer.
When he hurried back to the monastery nobody knew him and everything had changed. He told the Abbot who he was and the Abbot took out a large book and looked up his name. Sure enough, his name was in the book but he had been listed as missing, presumed eaten by wild animals in the woods over a hundred years earlier.

[k-fun]

No doubt, the Camino has changed me, and many of those changes are still apparent almost a year later. I no longer have interest in things that filled my life prior to walking the Camino Frances. Now, I rarely listen to the news and find politics a real downer. The post and forums that I had previously been active on have been replaced with those relating to the Camino or to new things of interests.

Most importantly, there has been a shift in how I perceive the world. What is important to me now is the human connection, not the human condition. From the camaraderie I experienced on the Camino, I am learning to reaching out to others in a spirit of connectedness and generosity. "How can I help you" is now a question I now frequently ask others.

I was released from my employ a week before I left for Spain—they could not afford to give me the leave I had requested. I am so glad they did. After having walked the Camino, it would have been very difficult to return to that working environment. Instead, I wrote about the Camino, thereby, extending my experience and really absorbing the lessons learned.

After a year, I am still discovering how I have changed, and how much I would love to do it again.

[fraluchi]

Walter Starkie describes this state perfectly!
"...where [...] their mental plight resembles that of the monk in ancient times who lingered in the wood, listening entranced to the divine song of a bird in the tree."

...entranced by this mysterious Camino, enriched yet endless in pursuit of one's inner self, fearless of walking new paths.

[tyrrek]

Try to sleep Monirose! You will probably have gained and lost skills for the workplace. Imagine how much more you now really understand teamwork and supporting other people to complete something significant! People who you barely know, and who may have a different language or culture. (It's not like learning how to do it on a course). On the other hand you may be more intolerant of those people who get through their career by keeping up with the latest 'management speak' and acronyms. Take yourself back to a nice place and tell yourself that they're just making their own Camino. Be the soul of serenity and peace. Buen Camino!

[sillydoll]

On the Camino you divest yourself of material baggage - and big chunks of psychological baggage. This has been transferred to the way I live at home.
When I got back from the Camino in 2002 I really suffered from the PCBs (Post Camino Blues). My house was too cluttered, I had too many clothes in my cupboards, I had too many 'things'.
I packed up ornaments, nic-nacs, souvenirs and magazines and sent them to the SPCA. I cleaned out my clothes cupboard - after all who needed 24 t-shirts (most from races I had done). Within a year my home was more minimalist than collector-of-things.
After each Camino I slough off more 'stuff'. When I go shopping I find myself looking at clothing and other things in terms of their weight - if it is too large or too heavy for my backpack I don't want it!
The only thing that is growing is my collection of Camino books and DVDs!! But then, I have become a Camino evangelist.

[mishmumkin]

On the Camino you divest yourself of material baggage - and big chunks of psychological baggage. This has been transferred to the way I live at home.
When I got back from the Camino in 2002 I really suffered from the PCBs (Post Camino Blues). My house was too cluttered, I had too many clothes in my cupboards, I had too many 'things'.
I packed up ornaments, nic-nacs, souvenirs and magazines and sent them to the SPCA. I cleaned out my clothes cupboard - after all who needed 24 t-shirts (most from races I had done). Within a year my home was more minimalist than collector-of-things.
After each Camino I slough off more 'stuff'. When I go shopping I find myself looking at clothing and other things in terms of their weight - if it is too large or too heavy for my backpack I don't want it!
The only thing that is growing is my collection of Camino books and DVDs!! But then, I have become a Camino evangelist.

Brilliantly put. I came home after my third summer walking the Camino. Necessity required that I move from a 3 bdr flat to a 1 bdr. At first I was upset by the loss of personal space. Then I was liberated by the emptying of those rooms. A lot of those items I got rid of were "too heavy for my backpack".

[MichaelB10398]

Good to see another person from Abu Dhabi!

The Camino is a great teacher and we learn all that we choose to learn. There really is so little that we need in life to be happy. Stuff does not make us happy and never will. Yet, how often when we drift without direction are we caught up in a way of over-consumption. On Camino we have a goal; we need a similar goal for our journey through life. As has been said before, it is not the destination that is important, but the daily walk, the journey.

[Rebekah Scott]

Congratulations, the camino has given you a great gift: You have seen the kind of clarity and unity and "living in the now" kind of life you are capable of. This is not a phenomenon unique to a trail in northern Spain, no matter how many times you go back and try to do it over.
The key to living a camino life at home is learning to live each moment of each day the way you did while walking the trail -- not lost in regrets or anger over what happened in the past, and not caught up in worries or plans or dreams for tomorrow or next week or next year. Just right here, right now, with these feet, this pain, this birdsong, hot sun or cold rain or fascinating or boring scenery/food/company/feeling.

It is called "awareness." There are contemplative and mediation disciplines that can teach you how to live that so-alive Camino experience back at home, even when you are at work. It is an ancient practice, familiar to contemplatives of many faiths for many thousands of years.
The outcomes are deep peace, a rugged and lighthearted character, and a loving kindness that benefits the whole wide world around you.

[Tia Valeria]

.........
After each Camino I slough off more 'stuff'. When I go shopping I find myself looking at clothing and other things in terms of their weight - if it is too large or too heavy for my backpack I don't want it!
..........

Oh so true. I have just come home with a lightweight reversible breathable windproof fleece. First considerations? weight and will it go in my small day-pack walking at home. My smart jacket, bought in the Rohan sale, is highly crease resistant, quick dry, lightweight etc so I can do 'style' as well as comfort with my pack.........
Many of my clothes are now dual purpose in a new way; good for home or the Camino. Much of the rest has worn out or worked its way to charity shops or recycling.

For the rest ....... contributing and hopefully helping folks on this forum, taking life as it comes (in retirement), having time to 'be' not just 'do'..... are legacies of the Camino.

We are fortunate too in having folk around who have been interested in our times on the Camino.
Best wishes for your return to work MoniRose

[falcon269]

It is rare that one can return to the same situation, but remain changed. The bad habits associated with the S-delta, the setting, are like Pavlov's bell. They are triggered by being back in the same place. Try to change as much as you can; throw away the TV (you got along fine without it on the camino); eat only at your dining table (as you did on the camino; who wants crumbs in your bunk or chair?); abandon the easy chair for a walk; etc. The more you can change your setting, the more the camino will stay with you. Some have gone as far as quitting their job, leaving their family, and generally staying away from codependent people and behavior.

Good luck, and buen camino!

[Mony Dojeiji]

MoniRose, I can understand how difficult it must be for you right now to fit back into the "normal" world. You were on a journey that completely shifted the way you saw everythinfg around you, and you want to hold on to that. Your ordinary life seems pale by comparison.

But the Camino offered you a great gift. It filled you with a beautiful light and energy that you can now share with those around you. At times, I can't help but feel that we all go on pilgrimage to renew ourselves, to reconnect with the essence of who we are, for the grand purpose of bringing that back into our "mundane" world. Your co-workers, your friends, your family are in need of that light, of that energy that you brought back from the Camino, and that is your greatest gift to them. That is your service back to the Camino... to continue "walking", to remain on that inner journey, even while you are not physically on the path.

I wish you well on this new phase of your journey. And remember, the Camino is always there. You can always go back to recharge and reconnect any time you wish.

With love and light,
Mony

[sillydoll]

Mony, I have found over the years that when I mention the Camino or talk about the changes it has brought to my life, some people look at me like a boring, born-again evangelist!
However, others are enthralled, and these are my Camino converts (for want of a better name)! Many of these have done the Camino and have come back just as euphoric as me! When I say that I have learned lessons from the Camino, these people know exactly what I am saying!
But the others don't get it! When I start talking about the Camino their eyes glaze over and they change the subject!!
Hearing about the Camino, reading an article about it, watching a movie about it touches something very deep in some people - but not all.
Some are called - others are not.

[Mony Dojeiji]

For sure, Silvia (sillydoll)! I've had the same reaction from people...I know I can't change others, but I'm also conscious of not allowing others' negativity to influence me.

In the end, I think all you can do is speak from the heart, and share an experience. You're not trying to convince them, or defend yourself. All you can do is shine!

Un abrazo,
Mony

[falcon269]

"Let me tell you about my Camino..."
Glazed eyes.

"Tell me about your Camino..."
Attention.

Know your audience.

[sillydoll]

Shame, Falcon - it must be awful to have that reaction and I must say I've never had that reaction.

"Let me tell you about my Camino..." or "Tell me about your Camino..." always illicits the same warm response. The common theme here is 'Camino' and people who want to share their's always want to hear about mine.

[falcon269]

It's OK. I consoled myself with a bit of camomile tea.

[KiwiNomad06]

I think a funny thing about the Camino is that 'changes' keep happening, long after you return home. Like sil, I have also done a lot of 'de-cluttering', though you might not know it. And every so often I get in another de-cluttering mood and remove a few more bits and pieces.

But there are also 'inner' changes. There are some things that are simply not at all important any more, and other simple things that are. In some strange way, walking the Camino has helped me to be truer to what I think is important, and to disregard other things. Or maybe I have just become more 'eccentric'!
Margaret

[fraluchi]

I have found over the years that when I mention the Camino or talk about the changes it has brought to my life, some people look at me like a boring, born-again evangelist!

"Some people" just don't care to learn what the Camino is about, nor what it can mean to one's inner self. They are the poorer for it

[MoniRose]

Thank you all. I have loved reading all of your comments. "Unearthing" is a perfect word.

Now that I've been back to work three weeks, I can see more clearly some changes and it is as I suspected - less tolerance for life in the "driven" world, more love for the people. A good trade-off, but the scales have been tipped and now I wonder "Can I stay in the job I have and rebalance them? or will I only find balance by leaving?" I believe I already know the answer, and that's my fear; that same fear I thought I left at the Cruz de Ferro.

Oh, how I miss it. How I love this journey we are all on! Love to all - Monica

[dmeclevy]

I too left St. Jean on May 26th 2012. I returned to the US July 3rd. I know well the feeling you describe. I felt detached, like an outsider looking in. When we are new because we have shed the 'normal' garmet of our egos, we can be unrecognizable to even ourselves. Like a new pair of hiking boots this transformation becomes part of us. We may find the alien is not longer an enemy, the shadow no longer something to be feared.
I held on tightly to my experiences for fear that first, no one would understand, and second I was delusioned to think that if I shared them they would somehow evaporate. While truly no one will understand MY Camino and sharing only solidifies the reallity of my journey, it is my heart that holds the truest miracles and that is shared in my new capacity to see things with a new set of eyes. I use this analogy to explain my experience of the Camino, "I went to the ophthalmologist for a new pair of glasses and received a new set of eyes". Mary Ann

[CaminoKris2013]

Congratulations, the camino has given you a great gift: You have seen the kind of clarity and unity and "living in the now" kind of life you are capable of. This is not a phenomenon unique to a trail in northern Spain, no matter how many times you go back and try to do it over.
The key to living a camino life at home is learning to live each moment of each day the way you did while walking the trail -- not lost in regrets or anger over what happened in the past, and not caught up in worries or plans or dreams for tomorrow or next week or next year. Just right here, right now, with these feet, this pain, this birdsong, hot sun or cold rain or fascinating or boring scenery/food/company/feeling.

It is called "awareness." There are contemplative and mediation disciplines that can teach you how to live that so-alive Camino experience back at home, even when you are at work. It is an ancient practice, familiar to contemplatives of many faiths for many thousands of years.
The outcomes are deep peace, a rugged and lighthearted character, and a loving kindness that benefits the whole wide world around you.

This is exactly what I want coming out of the Camino. So much of my life to date has been not enjoying the present, but always looking for the future. The more and more that I am planning this camino, I am feeling that I am called on to do this.

As for the PCB, I am putting into my plan on staying a few extra days after the camino staying in Spain and not just rush back into my "normal life."

CaminoKris2013

[johnnyman]

Glad I found this topic. I walked the Camino Frances in June-July 2011, and it was a life-changer, to be sure. I'm afraid, however, that the experience has "ruined" me, as far as my everyday life is concerned. I'm so incredibly sick of the every day 9-5, pay bills, go to bed, get-up-and-do-it-all-over-again routine that I think sometimes I am going to lose my mind. It just doesn't make sense to me anymore. I miss the simplicity and peace of the Camino so much. I'm just a workin' stiff, and too young to retire, but I long to get away and just live a simple life again. In fact, I am thinking of just chucking everything and joining the Peace Corps. Let me outta here!!!!

[Southhobartian]

Hi my name is Sue from Tasmania down under, down under Australia. I had the incredible pleasure of doing my first Camino Frances from St JPdP to Santiago in Sept/Oct in 2011 with 2 dear friends, and the reality is that it still lives on with me each day of the year since then. I helped 're-entry' by making up a presentation (in themes- accom; the road; food; people; aubergues; nature etc...) and setting up a lunchtime talk at work (and with friends/family) and shared some of the wonderful experiences we'd had - it was great to have 'permission' to speak about it all, and i was truly overwhelmed by peoples interest and time they spent discussing it - it really helped keep it all alive. I think that the amazing energy and peace I had on my return was contagious, and even now 1.5 years later people still ask me about it, and put people onto me who are thinking of going. I've loved (and taken!) every chance to share it with anyone who wants to know about it. it has really helped keep it alive.
I also keep linked to some of my 'Camino family' via Facebook, and via email - sharing other moments as people also adjusted back to their lives.
I think the only other 'cure' - is to plan to go back!! I now have the great pleasure and anticipation of having booked a ticket to head back for more! The plan is to start in Le Puy in France in Sept 2013 and head to St JPdP, walking with one of the people I went with last time. We met quite a few people who had started at Le Puy on our initial trip - and were enchanted by their stories! So exciting to finally be going back, tho the initial Camino still lives with me and I try to take time to make sure I look afresh at each day to bring that Camino mindfulness to the everyday tasks!!