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Isn't it a shame?

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Isn't it a shame?

Postby Caminando on 08 Feb 2011, 19:31

On 23 Jan, there was a thread started about camino buffs i.e. fashion on the camino. Many women contributed. In fact , to date, there were 2500 views and 70 responses. There was excitement about design. Someone said they were so excited.

On 4 February, there was a thread started by a woman asking for advice about doing a camino when 3 months pregnant, accompanied by her mother. She needed advice; it was perhaps more important than fashion. This got, to date, 329 views and 8 responses.

I'd have thought that women would wish to have been helpful here, on a female matter where women could help most, but it seems that fashion trumps need.

I could easily be wrong. But maybe not. The two threads speak volumes about values and support.

Isn't it a crying shame ?
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby KiwiNomad06 on 08 Feb 2011, 19:53

Simple answer. Most women who walk the Camino are not pregnant, therefore would not feel able to give any relevant advice.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Lillian Rodriguez on 08 Feb 2011, 20:03

KiwiNomad06 wrote:Simple answer. Most women who walk the Camino are not pregnant, therefore would not feel able to give any relevant advice.
Margaret


Or way past child bearing age not to remember those times!
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Canuck on 08 Feb 2011, 21:31

Caminando,

You forgot the epic ''just between us girl'' with 868 views and 22 replies. :roll:
All on leg shaving and other important considerations.

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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby lynnejohn on 08 Feb 2011, 22:11

I think most women on this forum won't rise to this bait.

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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Caminando on 08 Feb 2011, 22:32

lynnejohn wrote:I think most women on this forum won't rise to this bait.

lynne


If the answers they give are like the first two, which dodge the issue and even fail to refer to the mother, then I hope they stay silent and go back to designing buffs.

The "bait" jibe is a way of covering denial. Your own response says nothing, which is at least honest.

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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby KiwiNomad06 on 08 Feb 2011, 22:58

It is not denial. A midwife is in the best position to give the answers needed. It is too important a question to be answered with idle opinion.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Vigdis on 08 Feb 2011, 23:02

I quite agree with Margaret.
It's not easy giving advice to someone else whether to walk or not when pregnant.
Almost impossible.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby lynnejohn on 08 Feb 2011, 23:54

Alright, alright - have to take the bait I said I wouldn't.

I'm not happy with this kind of judgmental stuff. Because we women don't answer (or don't answer "properly"), it means that we value buffs and leg-shaving over supporting other women? And this criticism is coming from men? You want to talk about losing the gains we made as equals in the movement? Seriously. Who are you to criticize the values of the women on this forum?
In other threads, we take great care to be non-judgmental about our various and diverse caminos and motives for walking them. Where did this inclusiveness and understanding as a community of pilgrims go?

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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Rebekah Scott on 09 Feb 2011, 01:32

It is a shame that a particular man feels compelled to make a statement that requires a "damned if you do/damned if you don´t" response from women.

I daresay there are a lot more women here who shave their legs regularly than walk while pregnant. And most women, pregnant or not, know that whether to walk or not is really up to the individual woman, and her medical advisors.

No need to start assigning shame or blame.
Especially if you are not pregnant, and never will be.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby CaminoGen on 09 Feb 2011, 05:51

Maybe there are not as many answers to the pregnancy question because nobody except her doctor can give her the right information for her. Also, some posts don't get a lot of replies because the answers to the common questions asked have usually been answered many times before. What is great about this forum is the wealth of practical knowledge. Most information regarding the camino can be found in books or other travel websites but here we can ask questions regarding the day-to-day on the camino.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Canuck on 09 Feb 2011, 05:56

That's fun. Get the popcorn!
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby AJ on 09 Feb 2011, 06:55

Rebekah Scott wrote:No need to start assigning shame or blame.
Especially if you are not pregnant, and never will be.


His prostate might be a bit dodgy but. Mine's OK by the way
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby marian55 on 09 Feb 2011, 08:26

No... it's not a shame!

What's your anger? Did you hope all women would disagree? What would have been enough for you?

I have thought about a response when I read it. But I did not give one. Why?
If you have read the line: somebody gave the respons to talk to her gynaecologist.
That was what I would have answered too. I thought another reaction was not needed, no better possible. If one person gives an advice, it should be enough. Would it be better if I had repeated it? Would it be better if a hundred people repeat it? No, it would not. One time said is not less quality than five hundred times....
For me a forum works like this. If somebody asks which bus to take from Madrid station and somebody else already has given the correct answer I don't repeat the same answer....
But:
If...I say if... I would have wanted a camino buff I would have answered to that line. So another response would have been added.
In such case, if I would have liked to get one, it was necessary to answer after somebody else, already did....

Do you see the difference?
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Postby renegadepilgrim on 09 Feb 2011, 08:51

Caminando just likes to stir the pot. As someone who works in healthcare and has worked in a midwifery clinic, I would always refer someone to their doctor for such advice. Someone suggested this, so why do I need to add to it? I'm getting tired of being "baited" by posts like this. It is annoying and serves no useful purpose except for the entertainment of the original poster, caminando.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Debinq on 09 Feb 2011, 09:42

Why the stir-up? Seems to me the question was largely inapproriate to begin with - strikes me this is always a matter for the 3 mo pregnant woman & her gynocologist only. It doesn't follow that because only a handful of forum women answered it or addressed it, that the female forum contingent is possibly / probably more interested in discussing vanity - smoothe legs, pink leggings or whatever ! The dearth of responses seems to indicate that there are actually few women who have walked a camino while pregnant, but more likely that those who have done so, would rather not share that experience...needless to say that is their prerogative - abso-bluddy-lootly!

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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Caminando on 09 Feb 2011, 12:35

As expected, the responses range from abuse to personal attacks, which of course are there to obscure the issue. As expected, I am told that I can have no opinion because I cant be pregnant - tell that to a male doctor or even a father. But it also seemed to me to be a question where women, (because men have no place there) could help most, but most didnt. And as expected, I am attributed words which I did not say i.e. about leg shaving.

There are quite a few (one a health care worker) who rightly refer to the need for doctor's advice (female only?), but who failed to tell that to the woman concerned, but were exercised enough to hurl it at me. Some rightly ask why they should repeat info already given -fine, but that didnt apply to the Buff thread though.

And all of the posts above duck the issue of no advice about the woman's mother walking the camino. She was perhaps the age of some of those who posted above.

All heat and no light, I'm afraid, so better if the thread stops here, as far as I'm concerned.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby falcon269 on 09 Feb 2011, 13:06

Now you are being disingenuous, Caminando. You had no real point for the post other than to provoke Forum members, and now you complain about them being provoked!! Give it a rest.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby Caminando on 09 Feb 2011, 13:19

falcon269 wrote:Now you are being disingenuous, Caminando. You had no real point for the post other than to provoke Forum members, and now you complain about them being provoked!! Give it a rest.


Thought you'd be along Falcon. And you're the one who recently declared that you made provocative posts, so you're the expert there. You had no real point for the post other than to curry favour.
... I think of caminantes over a quarter of a century....

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Wild geese lost in cloud.



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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby mikevasey on 09 Feb 2011, 13:19

Hi
Caminando wrote:I'd have thought that women would wish to have been helpful here, on a female matter where women could help most, but it seems that fashion trumps need.

I could easily be wrong. But maybe not.


Just read the responses from the members, if you put aside the issue of being critised, which you started in a general way, then you see that they have been kind enough to answer your 'question', and if you can imagine it, you might have been wrong.
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Re: Isn't it a shame?

Postby ksam on 09 Feb 2011, 15:23

I guess another alternative never even occurred to you?... that perhaps subjects like this, that are truly, intensely personal, may have been dealt with in PM's? There is a great deal I'll share here, out in the open forum, and there are other things I simply will never do in that way. Or yet another option...not all of the women here have had or will have children...therefore...would they be willing to put out an opinion..and to what purpose? !

So...back to more generally useful stuff...

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