warning

[Kiwi-family]

Today as we walked from Bodenaya (6.5km away) a well-dressed elderly gentleman with a cane was sitting on a stone wall. The kids were ahead of me so I didn't want to stop for too long but he reached his hand out and spoke so I stopped. After a firm handshake he pulled me towards him for a very friendly kiss on the cheek. Too friendly, mouth open wide. I pulled back, and not just because of his stubble. He pulled again for the other side - convention says kiss each cheek, yes, but not as he was doing. I was really uncomfortable. We "talked" a little more, then I bid him goodbye. He grabbed my hand again and pulled me close, and managed another "biting of my cheek" but I pulled away and walked off. I realised when I was still thinking about it as Tineo came in sight, that it would not be a bad idea to post my experience here as a warning for other single women walking this way. I'm sure he meant no harm, and I had two poles and could have outrun him, but it was simply unpleasant.

 

[peregrina2000]

Oh, Rachel, those kinds of things just leave a terrible feeling inside you. We need to be more aggressively "rude" when things like this happen, but I know that's easier said than done. I once had a guy hop off his bike right before a hill and tried to do something similar but I shouted. He then pedaled off, and I made it to the top of the hill just as he was going into his house. So I stopped and asked him if he would like me to go inside and tell his wife what he had done, but he was high tailing it into the house and didn't respond. Thankfully, this problem seems to be limited to old guys, maybe subsequent generations have changed their attitudes.

I hope it didn't spoil what is otherwise such a beautiful day, that stretch after Tineo has to be some of the most beautiful scenery on any Camino. You are making amazing progress, I am enjoying your blog and so happy for you and for the children -- you are all so very lucky and blessed! Laurie

 

[Kiwi-family]

Thanks Laurie
It's interesting that after I decided I should mention it here in the hopes of helping someone else I didn't think of it again - and you're right about the beauty. I kept thinking I can understand why Tio y Tia on this forum say it's their favourite! Paths that are interesting without being demanding (although that could be different after rain!) and picture book views to be awed by.

 

[fortview]

Wow. I'd totally forgotten about that guy! I got the same treatment, even though John was with me. Some of the other lady pilgrims, who were walking alone, also commented about this wierd, creepy guy when we met up with them later. I " think " he's probably harmless, but very over familiar. And because he's well dressed and seems to be a friendly old man, you get taken by surprise when he starts the kissing!!

On another note, I saw a great photo of you all kiwi-family, on Alex from Bodenayas Facebook page. You look GREAT! Was so excited to see that today. I'm totally in awe of you all.

 

[Thomas1962]

Remember that old guy from last September too, although it was not me who was harassed but my wife. It was nasty. Me and my wife's first reaction was that the man is too old to really get angry at. But as it seems to go on for such a long time it is even worse. Thanks for warning!
I hope a warned woman can give him a 'suitable' answer next time. Although, how long would he still be there if every man would do the same to him as he does to women....
Any other suggestions. I'm getting in the mood...

By the way, love your blog too!

 

[s. brown]

Oh, Rachel, those kinds of things just leave a terrible feeling inside you. We need to be more aggressively "rude" when things like this happen, but I know that's easier said than done. I once had a guy hop off his bike right before a hill and tried to do something similar but I shouted. He then pedaled off, and I made it to the top of the hill just as he was going into his house. So I stopped and asked him if he would like me to go inside and tell his wife what he had done, but he was high tailing it into the house and didn't respond. Thankfully, this problem seems to be limited to old guys, maybe subsequent generations have changed their attitudes.

I hope it didn't spoil what is otherwise such a beautiful day, that stretch after Tineo has to be some of the most beautiful scenery on any Camino. You are making amazing progress, I am enjoying your blog and so happy for you and for the children -- you are all so very lucky and blessed! Laurie

Well done! You are obviously an experienced woman. When we're less experienced we later imagine what we might have said, but you said it! That's impressive. I, too, think we need to be more aggressively "rude." I think it's the way to ward off the "terrible feeling inside you" that women are so prone to feel after someone else has felt free to violate us in some manner. When I was 22 and taking a train from Paris to Barcelona we went through a long tunnel and the guy sitting across from me jumped up in the dark and sat next to me professing his deep love while trying to kiss me. I understood every word of his French, and, for once, someone (he) understood every word of my mine. He got up and took his rightful spot across from me.

 

[Mountainman]

First off, show no mercy and whack these creeps whenever wherever. And that from am far from a violent man...
Second, I know from personal experience (yes guys too have these kind of experiences, mine was in a public toilet in Burgos, wont go into details ;-) that you are too flabbergasted to respond appropriately, and only after a couple of miles/minutes you find yourself outraged and ready to respond! In which case I would say inform your Hospitalero with vigour on your next stop and let the Camino security radio do its work, like it would with bedbug occurrences... If you dont speak up, you are keeping the situation intact.

So S Brown, well done! This guy hopefully will think again before pulling a similar stunt.

 

[mspath]

For additional posts regarding personal safety on the camino be sure to read what others and I have written in this Forum thread.

Whatever/wherever the incident report it to the police by calling 112.

MM

 

[mralisn]

Had read your warning and was able to share in Bodenaya night before last. Yes, the same man was there on wall on the most absolute muddiest path. He reached out for me, and I grabbed his hand EXTREMELY hard to make HIM pull away. Then he started asking me questions about any others who stayed in Bodenaya. I didn't answer and stayed there for a few minutes to warn other walkers the man was there. He was not happy no one was stopping for him.

On another note, Alejandro and his refugio in Bodenaya have now made my "top 3" along with Guemes and Granon!

 

[fortview]

Well done mralisn ! A few more like you and maybe he'll stop sitting there. And yes, Alex and Bodenaya was a real highlight. What a great guy! Buen camino to you, Helen

 

[Tia Valeria]

Has anyone though to let Alejandro know that there is a problem? He might be able to have a quiet word with the old gentleman's family if he has one, or with the man himself. He may mean no harm, but it is obviously upsetting.

 

[Kiwi-family]

Has anyone though to let Alejandro know that there is a problem? He might be able to have a quiet word with the old gentleman's family if he has one, or with the man himself. He may mean no harm, but it is obviously upsetting.

Excellent idea, but, no I hadn't thought to tell him. As you say, he may be able to speak to the family, and he might also quietly warn pilgrims who stay with him. I'll contact him when I get home - unless someone else can before me.