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considering canceling my trip :(

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I have not read all of these responses in detail. Of course I echo all of the encouragements, and definitely you could just go and take it one day at a time, not worrying about how you 'should' go about doing it, just do it however makes sense for you.

I didn't however, see any taking the other approach. Our guts are wise. If your gut is telling you this is not the right time, then perhaps it isn't. It isn't the end of the world if you cancel. And you needn't feel badly if you do. We all just have to do what is right for us in the moment.

Being in pain is no fun, and the camino is definitely a strain on the body so if you truly think your body is not up to it, then maybe better to wait. (Of course there are always a number of solutions to some of those things, but then I go back to supporting the other side)

A somewhat unrelated story...I had planned a two week camping trip months in advance, but as it approached, I no longer really wanted to go. But, the plans were made...expenses were paid, people knew. So I went. Spent the time and energy to pack up, drove for 8 hours, spent one night and knew that my heart just really wasn't in it. I didn't want to be there. So packed up and drove back home. Should have listened to my gut in the first place.

Your story is not unrelated! I could tell a similar story, but I only drove 4 hours to the camping trip I bailed on after one night. And I don't regret bailing, I regret not listening to my gut and going on a trip I didn't want to take. I have since gone on many camping trips that I haven't bailed on -- I didn't, like, ruin camping for myself by not going on that one trip, lol.

Honestly I am not usually like this! This level of anxiety and trepidation is not usual for me, especially over something like a trip.
 
Reading this thread again I was reminded of that wonderful quote at the end of Hank Leukart's Video. (which is one of my favourite Camino videos)

He recalls how a Nun told him: The Camino is God's dream of how people should be when they are with each other.

Here's his video link:
Thank you for sharing this! I too have been suffering with anxieties in anticipation of my first Camino....
This has helped me breathe ....thank you
 
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I'm pleased and more than a little relieved to learn that you are seeking help.

Thank you! I said it in another reply, but I really am not usually like this - this level of anxiety is out of character for me, especially about something like a trip. Clearly I need to work some things out.

When I started this thread I didn't think it would get so much attention. I feel a little sheepish about it now, to be honest. But everyone is so kind, and I'm grateful, and feeling a lot less panicky.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

Why don't you start at Leon and walk the rest of the way. You don't need to do the whole thing. why not start at St Jean Pied de Port and walk to Orisson, then back to the St Jean. Then take the bus to Pamplona and then bus to Burgos or Leon. Walk from there.

Stop overthinking. Just take the step. You can do it. It is not a race and you don't have to prove anything to anyone. This is supposed to be enjoyable, do it to enjoy it. If you don't want to do it, try something else. Do an Intrepid tour of Europe or something like that. Good luck
 
Oh, @HikeTall! You are speaking my language. I am so mixed up right now.

This might be off-topic for a Camino board, but I am struggling with some family-of-origin issues. I think I thought I could keep coasting along, year after year, just avoiding the giant elephant in the room of how messed up certain dynamics are within my family, which includes a brother who died young, unexpectedly, and estranged from all of us. This was several years ago, and it was a complicated story, so I wouldn't say it's a causal factor of my anxiety now, but the unspoken rules in my family are still working the same way, you know? And it's not working for me anymore.

Certain things that happened over the summer, and at Christmas, and then just last weekend, are flashing huge neon NOT OK signs at me. It's dawning on me that I may have, at least in part, chosen this year for the Camino in the hope that it would give me an excuse to opt out of family expectations without incurring displeasure. But last weekend it became even more clear that there's nothing I can do to avoid incurring family displeasure (because my family is messed up!), and Camino or no Camino, I will have to take steps to change how I respond to it. This will "rock the boat", if you will, which is terrifying.

My back problems, and other stress-exacerbated problems do exist, and I'm (hopefully) not exaggerating them or minimizing them, but really, 2 months out it's too early to tell if they really will keep me from the Camino.

I've scheduled medical and shrink appointments for next week, and I feel good about that. This crisis has me shook!

I feel Camino-blessed already, no matter what happens next.

Well then you Definitely need to go !
You said you don't know why you wanted to go .... you don't need to know ! Just Rock Up ... the why will fill itself in later ....

Enough Talk .... Ready , Set , Go !!!

Ultreia
Onwards and Upwards
 
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Mrs,

I smile a little here. I have taken some time to read responses here, because this is much likely a real issue for newcomers on the Camino,

You have gotten more than a fair share of responses here, both from newbies as well as from experienced pilgrims. They all urge you to walk it, more or less. Ask yourself why they are so eager for you to walk it? What do they want you to find/experience? What have they learned, that you don't know yet? Remember, none of them are in it for the money; They are simply trying to help you out.

I will not advice you about what others have done or said, but I can say one thing: There is a reason why people are trying to help you and advice you to walk your way: They have found something there and want you to get in on/share the secret. For me, wether you walk or not, is uninteresting. You can find your way, or stay where you are. Up to you. I hope you take on the challenge of living real a little. That is what the Camino is delivering for many of us, It can be a lifechanger if your mind is receptible.

Having said all that, I walk on happily in Spain, on different Caminos, and have a spiritual and cultural time of my life ;)

Well then you Definitely need to go !
You said you don't know why you wanted to go .... you don't need to know ! Just Rock Up ... the why will fill itself in later ....Enough Talk .... Ready , Set , Go !!!
There is your answer, I think...
 
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@MrsBath , do you think that maybe the reason that you started this thread is because you really want to be convinced to go?

Truthfully, no. I had tied myself up into so many knots in the days before my posting that I couldn't tell if my anxiousness was about my trip, or something else. And it seemed too embarrassing to bring it up with the same people who just got finished wishing me well in my everyday life. I'm still not really sure what all this anxiety is about, but my gut is saying that it's definitely something else on top of any Camino worries.

I think I wanted to hear other's experiences with pre-Camino worries and how it turned out for them, and get reassured that it isn't *so* terrible if I change my mind. And now I've read so many great stories, and received reassurances in abundance.

It's more attention than I was expecting, by a lot. I thought a few people would answer, sure, but this is so much more than I expected. I was just so distressed in that moment, and I reached out to a place where people actually might know what I was talking about. Most people I've talked to in my everyday life already think it's a crazy idea, if they've even heard of it.

I really am feeling much better now, and I will be taking my issues up with professionals. And I still have plenty of time to decide! My travel plans are all set unless I decide to change them.
 
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When I started this thread I didn't think it would get so much attention. I feel a little sheepish about it now, to be honest. But everyone is so kind, and I'm grateful, and feeling a lot less panicky.

That's good to hear.... Though be aware that many of us have nothing better to do than to spend hours everyday talking about the Camino, given the slightest encouragement ;)

Sometimes the sheer volume of responses can be a bit overwhelming..... One of the lovely aspects of this Forum.

Don't feel awkward saying "thanks for all the encouragement, I'm off to wash my hair now" :D

Alternatively.......I'm sure we can keep this topic going for weeks! ;)

It's a great topic by the way......and I think by raising it you have probably helped many others with similar worries and doubts.
 
Once again you put your finger directly on the core issue/challenge. It sounds like you were going to use the Camino as a means of escape/avoidance. The Camino is many things, but THAT isn't one of them; actually it's quite the opposite.

I'm pleased and more than a little relieved to learn that you are seeking help.

Then again, it seems to me Mrs. Bath is just beginning to get in touch with her "backstory" as to why she is planning the Camino. Far from escapism, it sounds like she is beginning to take in the truth, the truth which might set her free to undertake a new adventure, her own adventure which will be her choice to make of her own free will, under no compunction nor manipulation from anyone--family, foe or friend-- save her own desire.
I believe that the moment we commit in good faith to walk the Camino, the Divine begins to work its healing to prepare us for the journey which indeed has already begun on the spiritual level and is filtering down to the physical level where we must wrestle with it, and integrate the healing. We have surrendered to the process, which is the most important thing, and which paves the way for the miraculous to unfold.
There were countless miracles, both great and small, which paved the way for me to walk the Way, (one of which involved five hours in the dentist chair just days before my departure to deal with an abscessed tooth which would have been a nightmare had it happened on the Camino). If you can lay aside your doubts, and find a state of pure wonder and trust, the miracles will begin to pour into your life and you will see them for what they are. They already have begun, it sounds, from the insights you are receiving now.
Blessings!
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?


Hi Mrs Bath. My husband and I walked the Camino Frances in September 2014. I was so excited to be on this adventure until the day we were travelling to St Jean. I spent the day in tears with my stomach churning and feeling physically sick. We slept that night and started out the next morning, my husband taking it in his stride and me feeling no better. The first hill out of St Jean, I was ready to give up and go home.

But, the saying that every journey begins with a single step is so true. You put one foot in front of the other and before you know it, you've moved up the road. You walk to the next tree and rest and when the day is done you have reached a destination.

There is always the luxury of transporting your luggage to your next destination or taking a form of transport if you need or want.

We walked at my pace, that is slow and we even had to rest for 2 days as I hurt my back but we made it. We may not have done it in style or as quick as others but we finished at the same destination as everyone else that was heading to Santiago.

The most wonderful thing is the people you meet, they understand what you are going through, they get what you are doing and are so supportive. It is this that is calling us again. We are walking the Portuguese Camino this September and while I have no illusions that it will be any physically easier for me, it will be emotionally and mentally.

Try and put your anxieties in perspective and take that first step, you'll be so glad you did.

Buen Camino.
 
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Dear Mrs Bath,

Well it seems like there are many reasons not to walk the Camino, as well as, many reasons to do so.

I have been planning my first, to start at some unknown date, as I will walk after my mother dies. I have been learning Spanish, picking up things here and there, walking more, even watching movies and utube with my mother. She asked if I was excited- yes I am, but no I'm not, because it will mean my mother has died. I will carry a stone for her and the ashes of my best friend Nancy who died of cancer this past April.

And I will walk because I need to. I need to be away on my own after caring for these two wonderful women for the last four years. They have taught me how to live with grace, how to manage with great pain, and how to die with dignity. And I will walk knowing how incredibly blessed I am being able to make this small gesture in memory of them and for me.

I don't worry if I will finish just that I go and try. I had a stroke a few years ago wasn't supposed to walk again, but I do. I might be the slowest, it just might not be possible for me, but I will try.

I grew up in a family as the youngest. My parents wanted a boy I was a great disappointment. In many ways, I was reminded that I couldn't or should' do something because I was a girl or not old enough or strong enough or just being silly. A lot of negative messages both verbally and physically delivered time and again.

Now I am an adult and all that family stuff made me a psychotherapist specializing in trauma! So you have anxiety, doubts, second thoughts? Yup most people do when they try something new different when perhaps they've always been told they can't. Medication helps, therapy helps. But, I think the two things that help anxiety and doubt are breathing... really deep breathing meditation and walking. ( And of course animals!)

If you can't go for physical reasons, only you can decide. Maybe you can't do it alone like you wanted but need help with transporting your bags or you or both. Sounds like you know all the parts of what this is that is blocking your way.

Your life your decision, but you are already on the Way!
 
The funny things about any road or path???
You get out of bed,put your feets on the floor..and there it is.

Getting out of bed can be an ordeal
Walking to the loo...
The kitchen..
Ohh, so yeah want to scratch the kitten eh?

One step forward and there you are
Moving
And so you will
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
 
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Hi there
Just to add my bit. I walked from Logrono ten years ago when I was 58 and plan to walk Solo from SJPDP in September. I've gone through a range of emotions and also thought several months ago to give up the idea. It is a big expense to fly from New Zealand and I'm about to retire so finances are an issue. My renewed motivation came after decided to book a flight to Paris. I "smalled" it down. " I'm going to PARIS!!" Next I booked Orisson .... one step at a time. Now I have a flexible return flight booked 60 days later and accommodation in SJPDP. Who knows I may get to Santiago...Finis Terre. . I do know I'm going to Paris. Take heart.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
Hallo!!! I believe that everyone was scared before taking the first step and that's normal and that's what happens in all new thing that we do in life.....
It's your feelings and your camino so no one can tell you what do or not.....I will just tell you my personal feeling that the Camino is something that I think of everyday and maybe the best thing that I have done for myself.......if you have everything ready don't be affraid it's just the first step that's hard then you will adjust the camino to what you can or can't....it's a life time experience I believe for everyone!!!! Don't miss it.....
And even if you don't know the reason...,don't worry would will discover it there....or when you are back!!!
Hope you walk this beautiful and magical way!!!
Buon camino...
 
Mrs. Bath,

Welcome to the Camino Forum.
When I walked the Camino Frances a year ago, I became ill, badly enough that the doctors in Carion de las Condes had me transported to the hospital in Palencia. I was in a very dark state of mind, thinking that my Camino was over, I was going home, and I had failed. When I asked the admitting doctor if there was an airport close to start my journey home, she replied, "Aren't you walking the Camino de Santiago?" to which I replied, "Yes, but I'm ill and cannot continue." She then told me, "Your Camino is important. We are going to get you well so you can continue your Camino. When you walk into the cathedral in Santiago, you will understand." They did get me well and I started walking again two days later. I walked into the cathedral in Santiago and it was magnificent.

Mrs. Bath, your Camino is important. Whatever got you to plan and prepare and contemplate is an important journey. Your Camino, in whatever form it manifests is important, be it walking the whole way from Saint Jean Pied de port to Santiago or a one week, or two week stage. The anxiety before I started and what you are confronting is real, and for me was a part of the journey. As Sir Edmond Hillary has been quoted as saying, "You do not conquer the mountain, you conquer yourself."

I wish you a Buen Camino!

--jim--
How inspiring. Thanks Jim
 
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I was terrified the night before our first Camino. I couldn't sleep, was halfway convinced we were doing a great mistake.

I still can't sleep the night before a Camino. (Hell, who am I fooling? I wake up in the middle of the night the last MONTH before each Camino - because I am so very much looking forward to starting again.)

If your Camino is 10 km of walking followed by a bus tour of Spain (we can recommend some lovely places to stop), then that's fine. But I hope you will give yourself this Camino, however far you actually walk.

(Pre-training is overrated!)
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

Hello Mrs B,
So sorry about the anxiety you are feeling. There must have been 'something' that 'called you' to plan your Camino? Lots of people hear about it, but not everyone books it, buys all the stuff, and trains for it. You Did All That. Could it be your inner child, wanting you to do something ... just for You? All these people that are 'discouraging' you, .. do they know you? the real you? Do they know themselves? I agree with Mike S, and would love Everyone to try it. It's such an 'interesting' journey, ... on so many levels. I have only done different stages of the various Ways. Each of the 4 trips were different, ... but incredible. I would love to have a job that would allow me the time off to do the full trip, ... but it's on my 'retirement bucket list' ... and I can't wait! I think, with the presence of mind you're in, the Camino would be a good option. If your doc says your back is ok, .. I mean you can't lift and carry if your back is sore, ... but if it's just the anxiety, ... I doubt there's anyone who hasn't felt anxious before the Camino. I'm doing my fist 'solo' trip next month; before I've always done groups, ... big and small. But I am soo excited, (& yeah, a bit nervous) ... because you are only 'solo' on the Camino when you choose to be. I can't explain the 'comraderie' that exists on the Camino (& yes, there'll be blisters too!) You will meet so many people, in so many different 'life scenarios' ... and you will 'share', ... if, what, and when, you want. I really do hope you go ahead. The phrase 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' comes to mind. But, whatever you decide, try not to put to0 much pressure on yourself. Life is a journey, ... and you should enjoy the trip. Some people prefer to stay in one place, ... but I think it's nice to venture out a bit, ... and see who and what is out there. Home will always be there Mrs B. Buen Camino!
 
Dear Mrs. Bath,
Forgive me if I'm redundant as I didn't have time to read all the previous posts but I felt I had to reply.
I've been wanting to walk the Camino for over ten years but always came up with a reason to postpone it. Being a business owner every decision I've made over the years has always been analyzed over and over again to to ensure the possibility of a favorable outcome.
Again this year after saying I'm definitely walking the Camino the doubts began to reemerge until while traveling down interstate 95 a big rig pulled right in front of me. Written across the back of his trailer was "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar like eagles." Isaiah 40:31
In all the years I have travelled on highways I have never seen a bible verse on a trailer.
Thanks to the trucker from Indiana I will be walking this fall. Just keep thinking what really is the worst that can happen and it turns out it is not really that bad.
All I know is I would rather try and fail than not try at all and have to live with regrets. I already have too many of those.
Best of luck,
Ed
 
The one from Galicia (the round) and the one from Castilla & Leon. Individually numbered and made by the same people that make the ones you see on your walk.
You have received some excellent advice from many different sources here, but the one line that likely rings true for many of us comes from @Mike Savage: "..... I don't recall regretting things I have done but only things that I have not done."
So true, the biggest regrets of all are the things you did not do and when you arrive at Santiago the buzz you get is like nothing else! Carpe deum, and (the title of a book I read) "Tomorrow is too late"
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
If you do not have anyone to talk to, come and talk to your fellow pilgrims as you walk, if after a week you dont want to carry on, just fly home, then you will not spend the rest of your life thinking "what if?" I start my 2nd Camino in April, I have Parkinsons disease, sometimes I shake so much I cant hold a spoon! but I wont let it stop me, if I cant hold a spoon - I'll have sandwiches! Carpe deum and Buen Camino
 
I just saw this posted on the Camigas group page on Facebook. (if you're on Facebook you should join it)
View attachment 32582

Thanks @trecile I hadn't even thought to check FB for similar groups; I'm definitely not going to pull out this close (start on Friday) but, like @MrsBath have anxieties about certain aspects of the walk, one of which is walking alone - I've already sent off my request to join the group and look forward to meeting lots of fantabulous women (and of course fellas) along the way :)
 
St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
Hi. I arrive at SJPDP on the 11th April and will stay the night there just to gather my thoughts, eat and sleep then will start the next morning on the 12th. How about you?
I was originally planning to be there the same time. I will be in SJPP on April 19 now.
 
That's good to hear.... Though be aware that many of us have nothing better to do than to spend hours everyday talking about the Camino, given the slightest encouragement ;)

Sometimes the sheer volume of responses can be a bit overwhelming..... One of the lovely aspects of this Forum.

Don't feel awkward saying "thanks for all the encouragement, I'm off to wash my hair now" :D

Alternatively.......I'm sure we can keep this topic going for weeks! ;)

It's a great topic by the way......and I think by raising it you have probably helped many others with similar worries and doubts.
I agree, the "magic" of the camino is working already and you haven't even started walking yet!!!
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
Thank you! I said it in another reply, but I really am not usually like this - this level of anxiety is out of character for me, especially about something like a trip. Clearly I need to work some things out.

When I started this thread I didn't think it would get so much attention. I feel a little sheepish about it now, to be honest. But everyone is so kind, and I'm grateful, and feeling a lot less panicky.

I think you hit a common nerve.....the difference is that most peregrinos deal with dileberations of doubt AFTER they've gone off...

My first camino was truly saved by fellow, kindhearted walkers....((i'm forever in debt Carlo/Sylvia))....it would have ended in Burgos without them....

Soooo..... it's all natural reactions, it's all within anyone...it's a part of the script called Camino de Santiago ...a loooong historic line which you allready is a part of with your open mind/sharing....

Buen Camino!
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
I am no doctor and I cannot speak for your health issues but I can definitely relate with the anxiety issues. I am a somewhat seasoned hiker , 70 yrs. old and I can think of a ton of reasons to worry I fuss over some things until I say "The hell with it" and get on with it.. It was that way when I started the AT years back. I really think that prehike anxiety is a normal thing I think once you take that first couple of steps you will be glad you went. Believe me you will not be alone. There will be tons of people and tons of help should you need it. I plan on going and walk my own walk. I don't care how fast or how far I go each day. My airline ticket is for 90 days so I can basically "stroll" my way along taking my sweet time. I I happen to really like a town I will take some rest and relaxation days there. The older I get I realize there are only so many hiking seasons left and I won't be any easier next year. So, I would play it safe to a point. Ask your doctor what he/she thinks. If doc gives you the go ahead then the rest is up to you but. PLEASE don't let fear and anxiety hold you back. I guarantee you they will disapate soon and you will wonder what the hell you were so afraid of. I think that if you are healthy enough and don't go you will regret it.
 
I am not really a 'selfie' person but I wanted to post a photo for all you nervous people. It's to demonstrate how soon you will feel On your Way and Not Nervous. Context: I arrived at Bayonne airport alone. I saw a girl with a backpack and said 'Hi, are you going all the way?' as a kind of introduction and joke. She said yes. We hung out in Bayonne for an hour or two, had a beer, got the bus to SJPP, had communal dinner with a whole bunch of pilgrims, which was really lovely. Got up super early next day to set off, and the photo was taken in the morning mist as we are just on our way over the bridge out of SJPP. It's 6am and WE HAVE NOT EVEN WALKED ANYWHERE YET but take a look at the looks on our faces:

P1000072.JPG
And shout out to dear Natascha, who I walked with for a week, and am still in touch with 10 years later.
 
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The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
I really am feeling much better now, and I will be taking my issues up with professionals. And I still have plenty of time to decide! My travel plans are all set unless I decide to change them.

In a word, "EXCELLENT!" I believe you're pretty-much aware of what's going on inside your head -- IF you take the time to listen.

I am a newbie to the Camino but not to the human mind and heart. As Doctor Phil once said, "I have more degrees than a thermometer." (Well, only 3 degrees, but nearly 40 certifications.:cool:)

Your challenge - your quest - your "mental Camino" if you will - has already begun. I simply urge you to begin resolving the issues of your "mental Camino" before beginning the physical/spiritual one. And, like many others, I also urge you to undertake your physical/spiritual Camino as part of the overall process -- but don't rush into it. Only you and your professional advisors can determine when -- or indeed, if.

Please keep us posted.

-- Glenn
 
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Thanks @trecile I hadn't even thought to check FB for similar groups; I'm definitely not going to pull out this close (start on Friday) but, like @MrsBath have anxieties about certain aspects of the walk, one of which is walking alone - I've already sent off my request to join the group and look forward to meeting lots of fantabulous women (and of course fellas) along the way :)
Walking alone will be one of the least of your worries.
Hello Mrs B,
So sorry about the anxiety you are feeling. There must have been 'something' that 'called you' to plan your Camino? Lots of people hear about it, but not everyone books it, buys all the stuff, and trains for it. You Did All That. Could it be your inner child, wanting you to do something ... just for You? All these people that are 'discouraging' you, .. do they know you? the real you? Do they know themselves? I agree with Mike S, and would love Everyone to try it. It's such an 'interesting' journey, ... on so many levels. I have only done different stages of the various Ways. Each of the 4 trips were different, ... but incredible. I would love to have a job that would allow me the time off to do the full trip, ... but it's on my 'retirement bucket list' ... and I can't wait! I think, with the presence of mind you're in, the Camino would be a good option. If your doc says your back is ok, .. I mean you can't lift and carry if your back is sore, ... but if it's just the anxiety, ... I doubt there's anyone who hasn't felt anxious before the Camino. I'm doing my fist 'solo' trip next month; before I've always done groups, ... big and small. But I am soo excited, (& yeah, a bit nervous) ... because you are only 'solo' on the Camino when you choose to be. I can't explain the 'comraderie' that exists on the Camino (& yes, there'll be blisters too!) You will meet so many people, in so many different 'life scenarios' ... and you will 'share', ... if, what, and when, you want. I really do hope you go ahead. The phrase 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' comes to mind. But, whatever you decide, try not to put to0 much pressure on yourself. Life is a journey, ... and you should enjoy the trip. Some people prefer to stay in one place, ... but I think it's nice to venture out a bit, ... and see who and what is out there. Home will always be there Mrs B. Buen Camino!
When I was younger I would jump off a cliff and then look down to see if there was any water there. now that I am 70 i find that fear and anxiety want to creep into almost every adventure i want to do and sabotage it before it ever really gets off the ground. i figured I can stay afraid, anxious and overly cautious and sit on the couch the rest of my life and die safe and bored to hell. I have decided to quit letting fear run my life. If I go to France and don't like the camino, they i will bum around, see some things i have never seen before and come home, no harm, no foul. A friend, to add to the fray, asked me if i wan't afraid to fly and go to a foreign country with all the terrorist stuff going and told him I almost got whacked the other day pulling out in front of a huge lumber truck about 1/8 of a mile from where i live. Thank God the truck driver was alert and locked up his brakes, swerved and pulled off the side of the road. So there you have it. let the devil be damned. go and see what happens... you may be pleasantly surprised and i seriously doubt you will be disappointed . FEAR=False Events Appearing Real
 
So there you have it. let the devil be damned. go and see what happens... you may be pleasantly surprised and i seriously doubt you will be disappointed . FEAR=False Events Appearing Real

Wonderful words, Chuck -- but not in this case. MrsBath's devils (plural) are all-too-real, and to urge her to "damn the devils" is a significant disservice. Should you want to discuss this further, let's take it to a private conversation.
 
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The 2024 Camino guides will be coming out little by little. Here is a collection of the ones that are out so far.
Walking alone will be one of the least of your worries.

When I was younger I would jump off a cliff and then look down to see if there was any water there. now that I am 70 i find that fear and anxiety want to creep into almost every adventure i want to do and sabotage it before it ever really gets off the ground. i figured I can stay afraid, anxious and overly cautious and sit on the couch the rest of my life and die safe and bored to hell. I have decided to quit letting fear run my life. If I go to France and don't like the camino, they i will bum around, see some things i have never seen before and come home, no harm, no foul. A friend, to add to the fray, asked me if i wan't afraid to fly and go to a foreign country with all the terrorist stuff going and told him I almost got whacked the other day pulling out in front of a huge lumber truck about 1/8 of a mile from where i live. Thank God the truck driver was alert and locked up his brakes, swerved and pulled off the side of the road. So there you have it. let the devil be damned. go and see what happens... you may be pleasantly surprised and i seriously doubt you will be disappointed . FEAR=False Events Appearing Real
Wonderful words, Chuck -- but not in this case. MrsBath's devils (plural) are all-too-real, and to urge her to "damn the devils" is a significant disservice.
Point(s) well taken my friend. If I have done a disservice i sincerely apologize to Ms. Bath. only meant to help did not mean it as an affront.
 
Wonderful words, Chuck -- but not in this case. MrsBath's devils (plural) are all-too-real, and to urge her to "damn the devils" is a significant disservice. Should you want to discuss this further, let's take it to a private conversation.
 
I just read your the part or your post about a "private conversation I don't want to take this to a private conversation. i guess i made a mistake, unintentionally. i apologized, you made me feel bad for an honest mistake. You won, okay. Let's give it a rest . Did you read the forum rules of no personal attacks. you could have posted me privately about my sin but no. I feel humiliated publicly. Thanks for making my day. Buen Camino
 
A selection of Camino Jewellery
Hi Mrs Bath. My husband and I walked the Camino Frances in September 2014. I was so excited to be on this adventure until the day we were travelling to St Jean. I spent the day in tears with my stomach churning and feeling physically sick. We slept that night and started out the next morning, my husband taking it in his stride and me feeling no better. The first hill out of St Jean, I was ready to give up and go home.

But, the saying that every journey begins with a single step is so true. You put one foot in front of the other and before you know it, you've moved up the road. You walk to the next tree and rest and when the day is done you have reached a destination.

There is always the luxury of transporting your luggage to your next destination or taking a form of transport if you need or want.

We walked at my pace, that is slow and we even had to rest for 2 days as I hurt my back but we made it. We may not have done it in style or as quick as others but we finished at the same destination as everyone else that was heading to Santiago.

The most wonderful thing is the people you meet, they understand what you are going through, they get what you are doing and are so supportive. It is this that is calling us again. We are walking the Portuguese Camino this September and while I have no illusions that it will be any physically easier for me, it will be emotionally and mentally.

Try and put your anxieties in perspective and take that first step, you'll be so glad you did.

Buen Camino.
This is a very excellent post. Very encouraging. Tou are to be commended. i once heard that being brave is being afraid and doing it anyway.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?


At SJPP, at Orrison, I met a man named Jim. He was older than me-- In his 60's, and we talked for a little while-- I ended up telling him some of the problems in my life and my families. -- He had been a fireman in Boston most of his life and had damaged his lungs with smoke inhalation. He was having his pack taken by taxi to Roncevalles, but was determined to get over the Napolean Pass. -- I met him the following day at Roncevalles. He was sitting a chair in the small sitting room of my floor (the new albergue there.) I had arrived at about 12;30 that day, he had just arrived at 8pm or so. We sat together and talked for a while. The climb had been harder than he had thought it would be, and he was thinking of renting a car. He had stopped at my floor (he had a bed on the floor above), because he could not catch his breath. He said that he would remember his camino for all his life, and that even that one day was fulfilling. He said too that he had been praying for me and my family while he walked. That fact has come back to me again and again. Just yesterday while I was driving, I had the image of him stopping out of breath and praying for me. I am so humbled. -- I never saw Jim again. I don't know if he rented a car, or walked some more. But his walking just that one day touched my life more deeply than others I met who walked the whole way.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

Hi,
Not sure exactly what your back problems are, but it might encourage you to know that I had serious back issues and anxieties before walking the camino last spring. Much to my surprise and delight, I found out that strapping on the backpack actually relieved the pain in my back, and I ended up regarding what I had thought of as a torture device as something therapeutic.
Good luck!
 
Ideal sleeping bag liner whether we want to add a thermal plus to our bag, or if we want to use it alone to sleep in shelters or hostels. Thanks to its mummy shape, it adapts perfectly to our body.

€46,-
At SJPP, at Orrison, I met a man named Jim. He was older than me-- In his 60's, and we talked for a little while-- I ended up telling him some of the problems in my life and my families. -- He had been a fireman in Boston most of his life and had damaged his lungs with smoke inhalation. He was having his pack taken by taxi to Roncevalles, but was determined to get over the Napolean Pass. -- I met him the following day at Roncevalles. He was sitting a chair in the small sitting room of my floor (the new albergue there.) I had arrived at about 12;30 that day, he had just arrived at 8pm or so. We sat together and talked for a while. The climb had been harder than he had thought it would be, and he was thinking of renting a car. He had stopped at my floor (he had a bed on the floor above), because he could not catch his breath. He said that he would remember his camino for all his life, and that even that one day was fulfilling. He said too that he had been praying for me and my family while he walked. That fact has come back to me again and again. Just yesterday while I was driving, I had the image of him stopping out of breath and praying for me. I am so humbled. -- I never saw Jim again. I don't know if he rented a car, or walked some more. But his walking just that one day touched my life more deeply than others I met who walked the whole way.
This is good man. Thanks
 
You don't have to have questions or Why's before you go. For many, they appear once you arrive and start walking.
Buen Camino
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
  • Oh my gosh, yes I was terrified just planning my first Camino. Luckily my sister is travel agent or wouldn't have gotten past figuring out how to get to St. Jean. I too didn't know why I was going but the Camino was calling to me. The first night I hid in hotel room terrified. Yet, the second day my whole life changed. A joyous feeling that I belonged filled me for the first time in my life. And each day got better. My name is Sharon and I will be walking the Camino for the fourth time starting end of May this year and perhaps we can meet. As for your fear s the Camino will provide. I met a woman whose back started to hurt so she used the backpack transport service. And a person can walk as little or much as they want because most sections pass though several villages.
It is believed that a pilgrimage is a chance to redo your life. I would ask myself was there a similar situation in the past that you took a chance and you were disappointed. Walking the Camino you will meet many wonderful people and someone exactly like your self. I say give it a try and let the Camino magic change your life.
 
St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?


"It's a dangerous business,Frodo, going out of your door. you step into the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." Bilbo and Frodo were also apprehensive, but they went anyway. Hey, you're going on an adventure! If you don't go, you will forever regret it. Go anyway.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

If you don't do it. . . for the rest of your life, you will remember it. . . you will wonder what you missed.
Do whatever it takes. . . . do however long it takes. . . give it a chance, give you a chance. If not now. . .when??
I have done three Caminos. I have 2 artificial knees. I am starting the Portuguese Camino April 19, 2017. I am 84 years old. I never want to die and find out I never lived! Buen Camino!!
 
Ideal sleeping bag liner whether we want to add a thermal plus to our bag, or if we want to use it alone to sleep in shelters or hostels. Thanks to its mummy shape, it adapts perfectly to our body.

€46,-
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?


I feel the same as you but I don't care, I'm all broken, very old, but on the 30th I live home for my long (God willing) pilgrimage, is going to be over 3000 Km, I will take like usual every day as it come, my plan is to finish it and with the help of James I WILL DO IT !!!!!!
So cam on Mrs Bath and buen camino.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
So let's talk reality! Every person for the most part has the same feelings as you. Can I do this! The answer is yes because each Camino is unique and personal. If you reach a stage that you see as too difficult then hop a bus or taxi and bypass it. You will still get your credencial when you arrive in Santiago. There is no asterisk on the document that says you didn't travel all the way by foot.

I remember when leaving Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port and thinking to myself," are some of these people going to make it.' Why? Because many were overweight, old and didn't look in the best of shape. Was I wrong. When I got to Santiago there I saw many of those folks on the steps in front of the cathedral. In fact many of the young people I met who tried to walk too far and too fast, fell by the wayside. Like U.S. President Coolidge said, "Nothing succeeds like persistence."

As you travel you will meet and befriend fellow pilgrims. Probably you will find someone with the same apprehensions as you and a fellow tortoise . When I walk the Camino, I jokingly call myself Torturro. Meaning I walk like a tortoise and carry like a burro. And talking about carrying, you shouldn't be carrying more than the bare essentials.....no sleeping bag.....no food supplies other than some energy bars. Water is your most important thing to carry and probably your heaviest item. Some essentials are hiking poles, a poncho and some flip flops for apres Camino in the aubergue. You need to air out those feet after a day on the trail.

When I did my Camino I first visited France for over a week. I had a lot of clothes with me that I didn't need on the trail. So I boxed them up and mailed them ahead to Santiago. They were there waiting for me when I arrived. Don't bring books to read or unnecessary things. Stick to the essentials!

You will be traveling at a good time. The Camino will be decorated with the spring flowers.

One last thought! You will be in the worst shape your first week as you stretch those unused muscles. But then something magical will happen. You will shed weight and your muscles will strengthen and voila each day will become less difficult. In fact when you reach Santiago you will be addicted to the trail You will not want to have the adventure over. That's why many continue on Finesterre. It's like going to college....you don't want to leave and go back to the real world.

Be strong, believe in yourself and you will be rewarded with bear hugs and buen caminos from the many new fiends you will make along the route of St. James
when you arrive in Santiago. Santiago will be a fiesta after your long walk. Jack DSCN1111.JPG
 
You gotta remember, walking the Camino isn't life or death. It's not a career change. It's not a relationship change, or loss. It's not a job. It's simply walking. For some a week, others a month or so. There's nothing austere about it, and unless you brain fart and plunge into the Pyrenees in the middle of a snowstorm, there's nothing dangerous about it. It's not scary at all, and if ain't your thing you can always go home. Anywhere along the Camino you can stop walking, get a bus, cab, train or whatever and go home.
Just about everyone in the entire world would look upon walking the Camino as going off on holiday, and it is a holiday. If you ain't working, you are either retired or on holiday.
If somebody gave me a free round trip ticket to Madrid to walk the CF for say, tomorrow? Oh yeah, I'm on it. Give me about 15-20 minutes to put a pack together. No problem.
 
A selection of Camino Jewellery
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

I have not departed from my trek yet this is my first Camino. I will start walking from Saint Jean on June 14th. I have been a solo traveler for over 10 years now, every time I plan a trip, weather it be backpacking, camping, or just a regular vacation. I go through the same thoughts every time and sometimes for the first day or on shorter trips the first few hours. Most of us do not set out on our own for long periods of time. I over come this feeling through planning and reviewing what I need to take with me. I also walk through a plan for the entire trip with the thought that ok that would be the perfect nothing goes wrong trip . This way I have a image in my mind of how I want things to go, knowing that wont be the case. This way I now can adjust as things change on the trip. I know I will start this trip alone I expect to walk this trip alone as far as I can go or all the way to Santiago. Will I walk the whole thing alone probably not, will I make the whole trip I don't know, why am I doing this trek I think I know but I may not. We all have a fear of the unknown. Trips like this change people and have been changing people for centuries. Will you enjoy this, will I enjoy this, I cant tell you that. What I can tell you is that you have already started the journey when you decided to try it, it is already changing you are already traveling. I tell my 5th grade students you will never fail if you try you will only learn. Buen Camino
 
Go. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, bus. If no bus, taxi. If no taxi, train. On the CF, there is so much infrastructure it is possible to walk a few steps, well maybe, a few kilometres, tire and find aid. I met a 69 year-old woman who walked so slowly, I could have walked backwards and kept up with her. She said, if it took her two months to finish, she would. On Camino 2014, I badly sprained ankle; stupidly walked about two weeks before resting. Yet, I rested for eight days then set off again. In 2002, a 72 year-old from UK averaged 10-12 kilometers daily. Examine your fears, identify, then make non-emotion based decision. To go or not to go that is the question.
My wife and I walked the Camino Frances last fall. We caught up with someone who had started about a week before us but had been forced to take some time off due to tendonitis. She walked when she could and took buses when necessary, and was ultimately obliged to take a train all the way from Leon to Sarria. Still, she would tell you she had a wonderful Camino experience. To be a pilgrim, it is not necessary to carry your pack every day and walk every step.
 
My wife and I walked the Camino Frances last fall. We caught up with someone who had started about a week before us but had been forced to take some time off due to tendonitis. She walked when she could and took buses when necessary, and was ultimately obliged to take a train all the way from Leon to Sarria. Still, she would tell you she had a wonderful Camino experience. To be a pilgrim, it is not necessary to carry your pack every day and walk every step.
Check out Gaudi's El Capricho in Comillas. It is a restaurant but was closed when I visited last. Also check out Feve. a narrow gauge railroad that travlels parallel with the coast of Cantabria and Asturias. upload_2017-3-25_13-20-23.png
 
St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
Gather your thoughts, just like I am now as I write this to support you.

None of us are getting younger. What you can do now, might not be possible next year. That is life.

It is really down to one thing. Go and do it or stay home. I know you will not regret walking the Camino. What will you feel in your heart if you stay at home? I was only able to do 3 days, but I did 3 days. Now, I know exactly what I need to do to be able to do the other 31 to 40 days. Consider the alternative.

If you need a personal challenge, I recommend the Valcarlos route, (unless you really want the challenge of the Napoleon Route), and walk three days. In the morning of the fourth day, ask yourself, "Can I walk another day or do I need to rest?" Greet each day the same way, a day at a time.

Finally, Mrs. Bath, ask yourslef one last question, "Where is the wisdom?" Is it wise to saty home or is it wise to go?

Buen Camino
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
 
"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."
Pope John XXIII
 
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Mrs Bath
Just go for it , it is going to be a life experience not to be missed.
If you still have any doubts about walking it have you considered biking it.
I'm going on my first camino , starting Friday 7th April, told everyone l known that l'm doing it and convinced myself that it will do me good and l will gain a lot from the experience, the way l feel now l can't not do it (even if l only get from SJPD to Pamplona lol) anyway if you don't succeed first time you can always try again, l wish you every success in whatever you decide.
Buen camino
 
I have had two back operations in the last three weeks and I will be attempting the Camino de Santiago, I died on the operating table and if I die on the Camino......so what nothing ventured nothing gain hasta la vista baby
Thank you for sharing this Mick. We will think of you and your commemoration of our soldiers when we walk in France in May/June.
 
...Certain things that happened over the summer, and at Christmas, and then just last weekend, are flashing huge neon NOT OK signs at me. It's dawning on me that I may have, at least in part, chosen this year for the Camino in the hope that it would give me an excuse to opt out of family expectations without incurring displeasure. But last weekend it became even more clear that there's nothing I can do to avoid incurring family displeasure (because my family is messed up!), and Camino or no Camino, I will have to take steps to change how I respond to it. This will "rock the boat", if you will, which is terrifying.

My back problems, and other stress-exacerbated problems do exist, and I'm (hopefully) not exaggerating them or minimizing them, but really, 2 months out it's too early to tell if they really will keep me from the Camino.

THIS seems significant to me. I walked with my cousin, and we were both facing similar "huge neon NOT OK signs" in our lives (mine with my career, her with her family). She mostly used her Camino as a way to "escape" her problems/home stress for a while. I walked my Camino as a "prayer" or question: what shall I *do* about this big flashing "NOT OK" sign? What should my next step be, to fix this problem?

Do you want to guess which one of us had the more pleasant Camino? ;) My cousin cried her way through every day, and cried even more in the last day before heading home, realizing she would be going back to the exact same situation that she left. Maybe that was her journey. Maybe she really really just needed to cry that much, and the Camino finally allowed her the space to do that.

But let me suggest my method of walking with the question. This is not about obsessing on the question, but rather asking it, then enjoying the journey, and being open to any insights or answers you get along the way. Even on my way home at the end of my Camino, I felt like I wasn't sure of my answer, so I walked for four more days after I returned home. :D But then I was sure had it, and I made a big change in my life. A big, scary, rock-the-boat change. The change I really needed to make. The Camino did give me my answer. It might give you one too, if you ask for it.

I also want to add: if you are stressed out about this "NOT OK" situation, that in itself could be contributing a lot to your bank pain, and other pain. I think you were already suggesting that you knew this. So maybe some of that pain will naturally abate once you get on the trail. Yes, because there will be some "escape" from your daily life, but I would expect you might also get even more relief if you are feeling like you might get an answer as to what your next step in fixing the situation might be.

With much compassion,
Jen
 
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I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

Well, you can talk to me. I do not have any idea where you are on this planet, but if you want to talk it through, I am eager to answer questions and support your Camino. I planned and talked about it for 4 years, I went not being in great shape, I quit each day for the first 5 or 6 at about 11:30in the morning and regained it after eating lunch with loving pilgrims. I did not know why I went, but as with most of us, I found out. Often, I hear that people who did know why they went discovered amazing things that were not on their list. I found the meaning of love, a pretty great find. I'll send you my phone number as a private message. If you would prefer to talk to a woman, I can give you some contact info for the female members of my "Camino Family."

I am 67 years old and I already have planned my next Camino in April 2018 when my wife will be retired and not have to worry about going back to work.
 
Hi Mrs Bath. Here are a few thoughts that might help, from one who has had to battle anxiety before every one of my own pilgrimages.

The only person who has to be comfortable about your decision to go or not is you. Sure, your family and friends will have their opinions and they may or may not be shy in sharing them with you. But you have done all the preparation (excellent it seems), and you know what is in your own head. Try not to feel under the weight of other people's opinions. That's easy to say, not so easy to do; because so much of what we do in life is a reaction to the opinions of other people. That's how advertisers make their money.

You have also had the courage to express your inner misgivings in this forum. That says something important and positive about you that I find admirable. It's a quality that will stand you in good stead if you do go on the walk.

If you can, try to share your misgivings with someone you really trust. One can lose a sense of perspective if we brood alone over our fears, building mountains out of molehills. It happens regularly with me before (and even during) my big walks. The act of sharing our fears with another person often has an almost miraculous effect of relieving those fears and calming our mind. Some form of meditation and mental calming can also help if the pressure builds up too much.

Walking the whole Camino is just too big a goal to fixate on. Set small intermediate goals and take it day by day. If you don't make it to Santiago this year, there is always next year. If you go this year, the thing you want to do is test how your back will cope by doing easy stages.

Take as little as possible in your day pack and think about using one of the many luggage transfer services for the bulk of your stuff for a few days to see how your back copes. Then you can adjust your plans accordingly.

You have a couple of months before you set out, so you have time to absorb all the good advice in this topic and to make use of whatever is helpful to you. That may take some of the load off your mind.

I hope these few thoughts are helpful. Remember that there are a lot of people who will be thinking of you and wishing you well.

Bob M
 
Dear Mrs Bath
I have not yet read the other encouraging posts as I wanted to speak to you directly as another woman who felt exactly like this. I didn't know why the call came either and I didn't find out until months later. I puzzled all the way. I puzzled when I returned. But the call came, and it was so strong that even though my usual exercise is turning the pages of a book, I knew I had to do it. It seems that your call is a strong too. Please trust it. It was the hardest thing I have ever done (I was 73) but my proudest achievement. I can write this now because the Camino saved my life. It strengthened my body so that I could withstand a life threatening condition three months later. It won't be easy, I can't pretend that. But there is a reason you are being called. Trust. Go. Buen Camino and many blessings.
 
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I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
"Mrs Bath, post: 494150, member: 67682"
I've just finished reading all the replies on the forum in reference to your possible Camino journey and have been absolutely inspired by all the wonderful caring and compassionate comments from the Camino Community. I'm sure that you will be able to make an informed decision and I wish you well. I too have had reservations as I will be walking from Lisbon to Santiago de Compostela at the end of April. This is my second Camino as I completed the Camino Frances 2012 but at the age of 67 and with various physical issues (due to wear and tear) was having second thoughts but I have come to the same conclusion that there are always alternatives e.g. trains, buses and taxis. I think in using common sense in regard to injury and fatigue the journey and experience well out way the negatives. Thank you for posting this article as it just confirms that I have made the right decision.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?


My obvious question is what are you afraid of? Are you always like this? Afraid to live? Maybe walking the whole Camino is too much in one go, but try and walk just a part of it. Take life one step at the time. What you see in front of you is an enormous steep mountain. You can't see it in 3D. What you need to imagine is that when you come nearer to that mountain you will see it is sloping gradually. You can climb this mountain one step at the time.
I have been where you are a couple of years ago. I was afraid to live. I had to get shots in my spine to be able to even move around. My doctor told me that my spine was so severely damaged, I would be in a wheelchair within 5 years. I had no money so to speak of. I thought my life didn't matter anyway. Why go trough it with all the pain and sorrow.
But one day somebody told me: If you want a better life you are the only one who can change it. So it finely stuck with me and I decided to do at least 1 new thing every day. And I did. (I still do by the way.) I completely changed my life. I started with small things. Walk to the end of my driveway. Than walk to the end of my street. Walk a mile. Last week I walked 17+ miles in a day. I found a church (Unity) where I met new friends. A couple of other things I did: I learned how to sail and wend on a 3 week sailing trip from North Carolina to the west side of Florida. I renovated my house and opened it up to rent rooms on AirBnB. (Now I have an income and company.) I Saved enough to purchase another property and started a Sober House. Now I am planning to walk the Camino starting end of April. I have a great life now. And the best thing is that if I do not like something in that life, I know I have the power to change it.
You have that power too. You just have to use it. It is inside you. Stop wasting your energy on worrying. Start LIVING one day at the time.
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
 
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I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

Dear Mr Bath, Thank you for posting and welcome.
When I started to train for my 2016 Camino, I was healthy and in fairly good shape... I set out (wet BC) with my full pack on the local trail... WHOA!!! I'm gonna die!!!! My pedometer said I only walked 12 km... How am I going to do 25 km??? I called my veteran Camino sister: "How am I going to do this?" She reassured me that training was different in many ways, that I would have stamina that I did not know I could ever have when in Spain. She asked me: "What did you do before and after your training day?" As i went down the list she said that all of these took some of my energy and attention, all of which will not be present while on the Camino. You will surprise yourself! You will!!! ( By the way, I had a right knee that gave me hell for weeks but I still could walk, one day I did 40km, it was foolish but I live to brag to my future grandchildren!!! remember 15km back home?)
Not knowing why you are doing this could be the best attitude, open and receptive, how serene is that! Tell LE CHEMIN DES ETOILES: "I am willing to be shown why you called me. Here I am."
The Camino is an "adventure" but easily tailored to individual needs. It has an excellent infrastructure in place...you make plan B if needed.
For me the jewels of the Camino was the beautiful people I saw and met... Gary from Ottawa, 74 years young, 2 knee and hip operations and keeping up with me!!! He amazed his son to no end!
Call it what you will but it is my heart knowing that no one gets attracted to go and do this journey without belonging there. You get fed by the smiles and laughter's and sincerity of an eclectic international Camino family... you like this forum? Wait until you walk with them... you will be so grateful of your courage to say yes to Life!
Buen camino
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
It is a great journey to be sure, but it is simply comprised of steps. One step after another one moment at a time. I too have/had a bad back and was stuck on the floor for two weeks when I decided to walk the Camino. I was scared and had fear but the thrill of the adventure, though I had no idea what I was getting into, even after much research made me get on the plane. Day after day, week after week I could literally feel myself walking through my back issues which started 30 years ago after an accident. I had to send my pack ahead almost everyday, I had to taxi a few days, and I cried like a baby as I walked into the plaza and realized I had completed the Camino in my way. It was hard. This is my greatest accomplishment apart from my marriage and my children. My degree or any work I have done does not compare. Yes fear and anxiety is paralyzing, but one step at a time can get you through it. Please remember, "inch by inch it's a cinch, mile by mile takes awhile." I don't know who said it, but it is your Camino! The worst it can be is time spent in Spain where wine is cheaper than water in some places. Break it down into halfday segments and do what you can. You can walk and taxi each day if needed. I strongly urge you to go to Spain and walk a bit everyday. Get past the first week even if you've only walked 5k a day. Getting past the anxiety and excitement of actually walking and being there you will start to settle into a routine that works for you, but please give yourself at least a week. Then you will be stronger mentally and physically to continue. You will meet the most lovely people who will be a bit of strength and certainly encouragement as you do what you can. I hope you go and if you do, you will surprise yourself.
 
Oh, @HikeTall! You are speaking my language. I am so mixed up right now.

This might be off-topic for a Camino board, but I am struggling with some family-of-origin issues. I think I thought I could keep coasting along, year after year, just avoiding the giant elephant in the room of how messed up certain dynamics are within my family, which includes a brother who died young, unexpectedly, and estranged from all of us. This was several years ago, and it was a complicated story, so I wouldn't say it's a causal factor of my anxiety now, but the unspoken rules in my family are still working the same way, you know? And it's not working for me anymore.

Certain things that happened over the summer, and at Christmas, and then just last weekend, are flashing huge neon NOT OK signs at me. It's dawning on me that I may have, at least in part, chosen this year for the Camino in the hope that it would give me an excuse to opt out of family expectations without incurring displeasure. But last weekend it became even more clear that there's nothing I can do to avoid incurring family displeasure (because my family is messed up!), and Camino or no Camino, I will have to take steps to change how I respond to it. This will "rock the boat", if you will, which is terrifying.

My back problems, and other stress-exacerbated problems do exist, and I'm (hopefully) not exaggerating them or minimizing them, but really, 2 months out it's too early to tell if they really will keep me from the Camino.

I've scheduled medical and shrink appointments for next week, and I feel good about that. This crisis has me shook!

I feel Camino-blessed already, no matter what happens next.
Mrs Bath, three years ago I had to cut off my relationship with my mother. It was a LONG time in coming and a difficult decision to make, but the relationship was not safe for me on many levels. Many people don't understand why I did what I did. I miss not having a "mother" to call when I need to talk or want to share something important, but I have many friends and other family members who are happy to get my call, and me their's. The Camino was instrumental in my reconciling my family dynamic and giving me the strength to stand my ground and know the decisions I made were the best for me and my family(husband and kids). Please know the power of the Camino is strong and is invaluable in helping answer questions or coming to an understanding or decision. The Camino is the perfect place to walk physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally through the craziness of life. It is a gift every pilgrim gives themselves whether they know when they start or not. They certainly know it when they finish. Please give yourself the gift of the Camino if not now at some point in your life. It is one of the few things anyone would not say they regret having tried. Simply by trying, one is walking the Camino in their own way. Hugs, Prayers, and Blessings!
 
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I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
You are overthinking this. I first attempted the Camino in 2011 and made it 2.5 days and the blisters and foot issues I had with my boots just made it horrible for me to walk. However, I didn't feel like a failure. Before beginning, I had specifically asked for a gift of the Camino (I knew what I wanted out of the trip) and I had received it in that 2.5 days.

I walked again in 2014. This time I made it further. I walked about 200 miles total and took the bus for the rest. I did the last 100 km and got my Compostela, which is the minimum required walking to receive it. Again foot problems (I have plantar fasciitis). I met a Spainard on this trip who shared his advice. He had walked the Camino four times and only finished it once. Everyone walks their own Camino. It's not a competition and you get out of it what you want/need.

Don't fret so much. Walk your Camino as much as you can. Hop on the bus for a bit and it's still an adventure. You meet many pilgrims on the bus, some quitting for good and others taking a break. Send your pack ahead via transport and walk pack free for a day. Whatever you do it is all good and it is alright. You don't have to actually walk 500 miles to walk your Camino. Just enjoy. The people walking are amazing and talk to them and hear their stories. I'm beginning to plan to walk again....this time with friends and maybe this time I'll make it and maybe I won't. It will be perfect, whatever I walk. You too.
 
If you don't do it. . . for the rest of your life, you will remember it. . . you will wonder what you missed.
Do whatever it takes. . . . do however long it takes. . . give it a chance, give you a chance. If not now. . .when??
I have done three Caminos. I have 2 artificial knees. I am starting the Portuguese Camino April 19, 2017. I am 84 years old. I never want to die and find out I never lived! Buen Camino!!

You are truly an inspiration to us all Enerol! I hope I still have your 'joie de vive' when I am your age. Well Done You! I hope your adventures continue for some time to come ... & I hope Mrs B listens to your wise words and bites the bullet. Life is for Living! Buen Camino!
 
Mrs. Bath,

Welcome to the Camino Forum.
When I walked the Camino Frances a year ago, I became ill, badly enough that the doctors in Carion de las Condes had me transported to the hospital in Palencia. I was in a very dark state of mind, thinking that my Camino was over, I was going home, and I had failed. When I asked the admitting doctor if there was an airport close to start my journey home, she replied, "Aren't you walking the Camino de Santiago?" to which I replied, "Yes, but I'm ill and cannot continue." She then told me, "Your Camino is important. We are going to get you well so you can continue your Camino. When you walk into the cathedral in Santiago, you will understand." They did get me well and I started walking again two days later. I walked into the cathedral in Santiago and it was magnificent.

Mrs. Bath, your Camino is important. Whatever got you to plan and prepare and contemplate is an important journey. Your Camino, in whatever form it manifests is important, be it walking the whole way from Saint Jean Pied de port to Santiago or a one week, or two week stage. The anxiety before I started and what you are confronting is real, and for me was a part of the journey. As Sir Edmond Hillary has been quoted as saying, "You do not conquer the mountain, you conquer yourself."

I wish you a Buen Camino!

--jim--
 
A selection of Camino Jewellery
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?


MrsBath,

It is a normal human reaction to feel anxiety as we get close to a major event in our lives... I'm a 60 year old man who had the same feelings, strong feelings that started to manifest physically in my feet and I too almost called it off. I'm so happy that I did NOT do so. As you cruise this website on topics like this, you'll see a common theme that "the Camino Provides", it does! Along my journey I met many women who, like you, felt the same before starting their Camino and who were grateful that they made the trip. Some of those women have made multiple Camino's. I walked from SJDP to Santiago last September and am now making plans to walk the Camino Portuguese from Lisbon to Santiago for late summer.

Have yourself checked out by your physician.
If you get a Red Light cancel for Health reasons.

If you get a green light...
Take a leap of faith and believe that the Camino will provide. After all it's a walk, a very long walk. Take it slow when you feel you have too and speed it up when it's right. It's Your Camino to experience. If time and cost are not of much consequence, arrange for your arrival only and make you return arrangements while on your journey. This will allow you to NOT feel the pressure of having to keep a particular pace for your flight home and if you get into trouble you can stay in the town or city that your in for a few days without jeopardizing a prearranged flight. Many pilgrims feel rushed and don't take the time to explore the Old Towns and City's because they have to make that Flight home and they did not schedule enough time for leisure. Also, you have the option of having your pack sent ahead to your next stop. I did this myself, on the next to the last day of my walk because I had a very mild ankle sprain, it was a godsend. I felt as though I floated all the way to Arzua from Palas de Rei. After carrying an extra 23 lbs for 400+ miles, this walk was Glorious.

I could go on forever, but you have a flight to catch - hint hint.....

Buen Camino
 
I know all of these feelings. My current pressing concern is over the visa crap going on between the EU and USA right now with plans to have a 2 month enforcing timeframe. I have no clue about what's really going on and my anxiety is crazy about it because I'm afraid I'm going to lose out on money over it.

Anyways, I've formulated reasonings for doing it myself. Primarily I want to find something that I'm not looking for. I want to have so sort of breakthrough or understanding about myself or life. This is a very vague reason. I also just don't believe I can do something like this, I want to challenge my self and my self doubts.

I've spent countless hours worrying about the fact I'm going alone as a woman and I've never went to Europe alone. I'm basically clueless, and I'm terrified of encountering dogs along the path and being alone. I do have some basic/moderate Spanish skills. I also feel worried I'm going to quit in the midst of it, and publicly make a fool of myself in front of everyone that I've told I'm going to do this. I'm also not a fan of flying, so I assume I could just die on the way, or end up in some random crazy terrorist attack.

Anyways, you're absolutely not alone. I'm going in May as well. My plan is to hit the trail starting on the 14,15,or 16th. I'm flexible. If this is near your time frame, I offer to pair up for the start and see where things go:)
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?

Yes. I went May 2016 on my CF trip.
Nervous?
Tears at times?
"What the heck am I doing" at times?
Wondering if there is a "greater meaning" to it all.

Read the thread comments and you will see a theme throughout. Anxiety is there. Anyone / everyone can tell you to deal with things and do this or that.

But...you have prepared, trained and probably have all your gear. Key on each step and try not to predict the future and possibly how you will feel.

There is something very special about the Camino that cannot be put into words. Think about how many folks sit there and say that they would like to do this but never do what you have already done...prepare and train. The Camino experience starts with your first thought about the Camino. It will never end for you until you try. Frankly, now that you have started...you have set an "emotional mindset" in motion. The Camino for me was a reminder that I am my best friend and that my God will only give me what I can handle along the way. It took me 7 weeks but I finished. It was not pretty at times and there were days that I was not a good participator at Mass.

In the end, you will have many emotions that will tug at you. Harness the anxious and fearful as a challenge to complete what you have already set in motion.

God's rewards are not always "noisy"!! When I think of the Camino, I always smile and know that he knows I did the best I could.

Bless you on your adventure.

Mark
 
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€46,-
so many wonderful thoughts, that even though I have a bit of experience, it causes me to reflect on why I went and what I walked away with.

there is a book "Wherever you go, there you are". What the Camino can help reveal in us, is usually the beauty that was always there. It can't do for us what professional help might do, but it CAN provide time and path for US to do what we re ready to do.
what an adventure regardless of how you do it
Nanc
 
I am sure I am only repeating things that have been said already, but, the Camino or should I say Your Camino (as it is a very personal thing) is what you make it, some just do the last 100 km to get the certificate, you get out of it what you want to! and if that is to spend a week or so on a walking holiday in Spain, then so be it, there are no rules as to how you do it. I bet you will look back on this opportunity with great regret if you dont go and if you do it it's something you will be talking about for years to come! buen camino
 
A selection of Camino Jewellery
I know all of these feelings. My current pressing concern is over the visa crap going on between the EU and USA right now with plans to have a 2 month enforcing timeframe. I have no clue about what's really going on and my anxiety is crazy about it because I'm afraid I'm going to lose out on money over it.
This is absolutely nothing to worry about. There was a vote, and the resolution that was passed in non binding and does not have the force of law. It was discussed in this recent thread.
 
Yes probably most everyone has felt it. And until you go through it once those feelings and doubts will longer.
I walked my first Camino in September of 2016. I trained, obsessed over equipment, and wallored in self doubt. The biggest thing to realize is that this is NOT am athletic completion or a race. At the end of the day, it's about getting up in the morning and going for a walk. Two things that helped, i did some training, and i had the right shoes. I met wonderful people, saw incredible scenery, and ate my way through tapas. They're were a few times that i simply couldn't walk anymore so i took a taxi for the last 2 or 3 miles (i had a painful neuroma in my foot)
When i was done i can't back to the states and declared it the best trip i ever took. I'm planning my second Camino for September 2020.
Don't cancel. You will get so much or of this trip. Just get up in the morning, grab your walking sticks and start walking.
They say the Camino will change you and that is so true. Months after my return it still lives in my heart with confidence love and find memories. Go enjoy your trip. You won't regret it.
Mary
 
MrsBath, I felt compelled to tell you my short story. I broke my pinky toe when I arrived in Paris in preparation to begin my pilgrimage. I tried to continue walking, but against the advice of many pilgrims on this forum, and those I met on the trail, I gave up. My right foot so swollen & painful I could hardly get my boot on. While my fellow hikers were exploring in the evening & going to dinner, I was down with my foot up. When I got to Pamplona, I went straight to the train station to Madrid for a flight home. After much reflection, I can honestly say it has been the biggest & most painful regret of my life. Even now, 6+ months later, it continues to haunt me. I don't know if I will ever have the opportunity to go again. Please try to embrace your fear & accept the opportunity as a true blessing. I wish I had. The mental component is what limits us, not the physical.
Much love & prayer sent your way.
Shelly
 
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I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
 
Transport luggage-passengers.
From airports to SJPP
Luggage from SJPP to Roncevalles
My advice: Don't go if you don't really want to do it. And if you do decide to go, don't set any goal or expectation - just let things 'happen.' You don't have to reach Santiago to enjoy the experience.

As to 'why,' very few people whom I have encountered on the camino were able to articulate (to me) a sufficiently convincing reason. Most, including myself, treat it as a walking holiday, a chance to experience a different lifestyle. And that's a perfectly good reason!
 
MrsBath, I felt compelled to tell you my short story. I broke my pinky toe when I arrived in Paris in preparation to begin my pilgrimage. I tried to continue walking, but against the advice of many pilgrims on this forum, and those I met on the trail, I gave up. My right foot so swollen & painful I could hardly get my boot on. While my fellow hikers were exploring in the evening & going to dinner, I was down with my foot up. When I got to Pamplona, I went straight to the train station to Madrid for a flight home. After much reflection, I can honestly say it has been the biggest & most painful regret of my life. Even now, 6+ months later, it continues to haunt me. I don't know if I will ever have the opportunity to go again. Please try to embrace your fear & accept the opportunity as a true blessing. I wish I had. The mental component is what limits us, not the physical.
Much love & prayer sent your way.
Shelly
wow such a power story, thank you for sharing.
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
To many people it may be the perfect walking holiday with opportunity to experience the culture. I believe for many more it is an almost insatiable pull towards the way. And many of the other long trails around the world. Determining the reason for the strong desire & drive did not come easy to me. I just knew I had to go. You will know in your heart what's right. You have many many wise people on this forum praying for you and who are here to support and encourage you. Funny thing, I haven't logged on since my return last Sept. then today, an Ivar email with your post.
 
It's a pilgrimage. It's all about letting go and trusting - yourself, other pilgrims and any deity you may believe in.
Deep breath and off you go.
But why not try shorter route to test the waters? Perhaps the Portuguese starting from Porto or even starting at Tui (shorter still).
And even if you start and don't finish - so what? There are no fails on the camino - just discoveries. You may surprise yourself!!!!
Numbers 6 :24-26
 
Hi
I can understand your worries about walking the Camino.I first did the walk from Saria to Santiago ,it's only about 100km and I had never felt so worried.However from the very first day I met some lovely people and that made the first few days a bit easier.
However I enjoyed the walk so much that the following year I did the whole walk and now I'm addicted.
A few words of advice.First of all get fitter and then make sure that your walking boots are broken in.Wear them around the house for a few weeks and that will help you in not getting blisters
Also make sure that you do not take too much in your pack .But if you do find the pack heavy you can always get it sent on each day to the next stop.So I hope you enjoy the Camino and I'm sure that like me you will become addicted ,Have a great time
Mike Fitzgerald
 
The 2024 Camino guides will be coming out little by little. Here is a collection of the ones that are out so far.
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
Hello Friend - you must listen to Carrie Newcomer's CD "Gather of Spirits" tract #11. ... "It's not the things I've gone and done I regret or be ashamed. But the things I did not say or do just because I was afraid"..... I'm a 61 yr old with really bad feet and even worse neck/shoulders. I WILL do the camino in 2018 in part and in 2021 in full. I'm scared. But at the same time I can't wait. Don't be afraid, I'm not. If I come back hone after only a few days, so be it. Just to set foot on the path.... I'm so excited. Just do it. No guts, no glory.
 
Dear Mrs Bath
Nerves are a normal feeling to experience before heading out on such an adventure. I felt the same way last May. I'm was 52 mother of 5 grandmother of 6. Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and Skin Cancer the year before as well as a lifelong battle of Lipedema. I had always wanted to go and made the decision after two topical Cemo treatments for the cancer. I started in SJDP and finished in Santiago in 35 days. I walked every step carrying my backpack. I am so thankful I didn't give into my fears and did it. On day three I thought I was going to give up and didn't. Nothing feels as great as accomplishing something you felt beyond your capabilities. No one can make this decision for you ...but I promise you you'll Never regret it. I wish I could return this year .
I know you can do it
Buen Camino
 
If family issues are paramount in your mind and you have pain, chronic pain, back pain - or other pain conditions - it might help to look at the TMSwiki website - and explore the related forum (like this forum - full of knowledgeable kind folk!) and if it rings a bell with you - try the (free!) structured educational programme (on the left side list on main page)
I did and managed to recover from 22 years of fibromyalgia (so called!) and all that pain and misery. It is a pilgrimage in itself!!!
 
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Dear @MrsBath
My 85 year old father-in-law walked three weeks of the Via de la Plata with our family. That is not so amazing.
But when you consider he had been on an operating table for eight hours having a steel rod attached to his spine which had collapsed due to an infection that he was given a ten percent chance of recovering from not even two years earlier...well that was a miracle!
The next miracle was that after a week of camino walking he had his first pain-free days in over three years!
He even refused to take a taxi and walked over 20 or 25km on a number of days - at home he had only made it to 7km in his rehabilitation (our plan had been for him to aim for 10km and then call a taxi if needed).
When Dad had been lying in hospital, not able to move at all for weeks while docs tried to work out what was wrong, I had told him we'd walk a camino together when he recovered. To be honest, i couldn't see how it would ever happen, especially when he started walking again and could not even take one step unaided for weeks. It was a long recovery, and in the end the camino was a vital part!
I won't deny it, the plane journey was uncomfortable for him, but he had a seven hour layover in Guangzhou and stretched out on the floor! This made it bearable.
I hope Dad's story is an encouragement to you.
 
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MrsBath wrote on March 18:

"I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting."

She hasn’t been seen since March 28.

Let’s hope all is well and she does come back to the forum sometime. Even if she didn’t walk the camino this time, there is always another time.
Jill
 
I am two months from my planned departure, and my anxiety is mounting and mounting. I think I've known all along that I might not be capable physically or mentally but I was able to stave off my feelings by obsessively shopping and planning. Now I've got my gear pretty well sorted, I've made my plans for getting there and back, and I even started telling people I was going, but I'm feeling worse and worse, can't sleep, anxiousness is bleeding over into my work and family life....I just don't know what to do.

It's embarrassing to have told people, but that's not a good enough reason to try to walk 500 miles!

Physically, I've been training, and so far I'm okay, but I don't think my back and feet can actually take this type of journey. In fact, a back injury is kind of what got me going on this plan - I figured I better try before I get any older and more broken, but I don't think my back is really healed enough at this point.

Most of all, I don't know why I'm doing this, and I don't think I really want to do it. I have definitely been romanticizing and fantasizing but glossing over the downsides. There's a part of myself that thinks I should like this kind of an adventure, but I don't think I will.

I know this forum is full of kind, successful, Camino-lovers who might not relate, but i don't have anyone else to talk to about it, at least not yet.

Has anyone else felt this? What did you do?
Thanks for your post. I dont feel alone. There is shorter routes. Good luck.
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
You posted in mid-March which meant, based on the 2 month window that you walked the same time I did, mid-may departure from SJPP. Did you go? Did we meet? I'd love to hear your story, either way.
 
Just came across this and skipped to see what happened next...
Mrs Bath, if you did, where is the story? If you didn't, well, for everything there is a season. And look for this guy: Pat Ingoldsby. A poet. A man who has been where nobody wants to go, and can write about it with humour, with grace, with pathos.
 
The 2024 Camino guides will be coming out little by little. Here is a collection of the ones that are out so far.

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