Should I do CF, another route, or just travel?

[Joyisstrength]

Hey all,

I am struggling to decide what to commit to doing. I have been planning on walking the Frances and there's part of my heart that longs to do it. As I delve into the process of getting ready the time away is a growing worry.

My husband, Sean, is so supportive and will be staying home with our kids. The thought of 35+ days away is becoming more a reality to me and I am wondering if I should do a shorter route. I've never been to Europe and I have also thrown around the idea of a week or two in London and Paris.

Sean asked me yesterday, "What does your heart want to do?" and I replied that it is confused.

What are your suggestions? Have others found similar fulfillment in a shorter route? I love the idea of the stages talked about on the Frances, the first part challenging your body, the second your mind, and last your spirit.

My goals are to find strength in myself, conquer fears of being alone, and experience new places. Would a simple vacation, in your opinion, possibly achieve those goals?

Thank you!

 

[Scott Sweeney]

The strength you look to find can be found beside the one you love. Travel together, hearts should grow together not apart.

I so dislike threads like this. Seeking support to change your life.

 

[jefferyonthecamino]

Hey all,

I am struggling to decide what to commit to doing. I have been planning on walking the Frances and there's part of my heart that longs to do it. As I delve into the process of getting ready the time away is a growing worry.

My husband, Sean, is so supportive and will be staying home with our kids. The thought of 35+ days away is becoming more a reality to me and I am wondering if I should do a shorter route. I've never been to Europe and I have also thrown around the idea of a week or two in London and Paris.

Sean asked me yesterday, "What does your heart want to do?" and I replied that it is confused.

What are your suggestions? Have others found similar fulfillment in a shorter route? I love the idea of the stages talked about on the Frances, the first part challenging your body, the second your mind, and last your spirit.

My goals are to find strength in myself, conquer fears of being alone, and experience new places. Would a simple vacation, in your opinion, possibly achieve those goals?

Thank you!

if you're doubting, then perhaps you can walk a shorter stage of the frances, say from leon, which will most likely be just as fulfilling. london, paris and even madrid or barcelona are AWESOME

 

[cher99840]

Hey all,
My goals are to find strength in myself, conquer fears of being alone, and experience new places. !

IMHO you need to search for your goals closer to home

 

[SabsP]

This is my super individual answer to your very individual question.
IMHO a pilgrimage is so much different than an " ordinary ' holiday.Seeing your partner is so supportive : why not " just " walk your Camino now and go on a regular holiday the two of you another year maybe?
The fulfillment you get from a holiday is from a completely different level than walking a pilgrimage.
And I don't have children myself but I guess I would give more wisdom to my children when I walked a Camino than when I went on a regular holiday. Again very personal.

 

[Mark Lee]

Fly to Madrid. Take a train or bus to Leon and walk from there to Santiago. That's just a couple of weeks. That way if being away from your husband and children is too difficult, you are not trapped into a month long separation. If you really like it, plan on doing it again with your husband when you are both able to walk all the way from St Jean.
As far as visiting London and or Paris, I would definitely want to share that experience with my spouse. You can always do that later.
cheers

 

[jirit]

These are all very difficult questions to answer. Some questions I have that initially come to mind are:

You indicated that you have never been to Europe before. Have you traveled anywhere else and more importantly have you traveled by yourself?

How much do you have vs how much time do you want? In others do you have only two weeks but you want two months or is it that you have two months but you really only want two weeks?

Doing the camino means different things for different people. Therefore are you simply seeking a vacation by yourself or are you wanting a physical and spiritual experience? Or something else?

 

[Tincatinker]

Walk your Camino. You have been planning for a while now and your " heart longs to do it". Your partner and your beloved children have given you their support and their love and the space to walk your Camino. And now you've got Camino jitters, the pilgrim panic, and somewhere around day two or three you will lay there in your bunk bed at 3am listening to the snorers and worse and wondering what the hell you have done. And somewhere around the Meseta you will walk into the trumpet sound of dawn with the crash of bird-song in your ears and you will know what you have begun. You will cross bridges built by Saints and walk on roads the Romans built, later you will climb, and climb, to a heap of stones and an iron cross on a wooden pole where thousands lay down one burden or another and then one day you will see the towers and spires of the cathedral and with tears in your eyes you will know what you have done.

Or you could wander round the tourist sites of Paris, London and Madrid

 

[wawpdx]

Tincatinker, I gave your post a "like" but really, I love it.

To the OP, maybe you could start walking from wherever you think of as "the beginning" and just keep walking until you are ready to stop.

 

[Joyisstrength]

Thank you for all the support! I am still calming nerves but I think I will continue with planning, either from SJPdP or Leon.

As for some of the questions asked by @jirit I did some traveling solo in my teenage years and never outside of the states. My husband and I have given the trip a six week window (he's fantastic.) It's more the question of if I feel up for being away that long.

As for what I want, definitely a soul searching reconnection with our creator. I know this is capable to happen in any environment and place, because of who he is, I just need space to do it. I have already started my spiritual training, more like weeding, and view the Camino as the capstone and trial-by-fire.

Funny story, I asked my two year old if Momma should go on a long walk for her trip or go to a cabin in the woods (I was thinking of Snowdonia) and he choose the long walk. From the mouths of babes

 

[Robo]

Hi Joy.

I know the struggle you are going through. It was the same for me.

I started my Camino in St Jean. I'm now about 200 km from Santiago.

I still struggle with being away from home for so long. Leaving others to do things I should be doing.

But I know this journey is changing me for the better. I feel it every day....

I have walked alone and with others.

I have shared amazing conversations.

I have learnt many things about people, relationships, values, myself and what is really important.

I have laughed.
I have sung.
I have danced along the path. ..
I have felt despair.
I have wept.
I have prayed.
I have felt joy, calm, peace.....
I have felt a lifetime of emotion on this most wonderful journey.

above all I have felt 'connection'....

To people, the world around us. ...and a greater being. Perhaps the beginning of finding true faith.

And I continue, knowing that I will hopefully be a better husband, father, and friend only possible due to the sacrifices others have made....that allow me to be here.

Of course you could also go to Paris for a week....

your call

If it's of any help or interest I'm sharing my physical, emotional and spiritual journey 'warts and all' on a blog here that gets updated daily.

http://robscamino.com/

P.S. don't worry too much about where you start and where you plan to finish. Just walk. It's about the journey...

 

[Kiwi-family]

In the northern autumn/fall of 2012 our whole family (mum, dad 8 kids and 80-year-old Grandpa) spent one week in Pairs, three weeks walking from Astorga (we took it slowly and figured we could bail out if it was dreadful), then one week in London and another week winding down on a canal boat. It was wonderful - but it would not have been the same if I'd been on my own.
Last year I walked various routes with just the four younger kids for ten weeks, then we had a week in Madrid. Sightseeing was hard on our own without the rest of the family. Walking was fine although we missed family dreadfully.
Next week I head north to do the Caminho Portugues with my husband to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary - sans kids.
Turns out we ended up loving long distance walking and that first little trial started something which is clearly continuing.

 

[Robo]

I think one thing that is clear on this great forum, is that we are all very different

You need to think about Why you want to walk the Camino...

For me, I had to do it alone. I wanted time to reflect, no distractions, not having to worry about the needs of others during the journey.

There will be other times for shared experiences. This one needed to be solitary. Like a 'retreat'.

For others the Camino is all about family, friends and being 'together'. For me at least I couldn't see that as allowing a 'Pilgrimage' experience.

But that's just me

 

[Camino2010]

Thank you for all the support! I am still calming nerves but I think I will continue with planning, either from SJPdP or Leon.

As for some of the questions asked by @jirit I did some traveling solo in my teenage years and never outside of the states. My husband and I have given the trip a six week window (he's fantastic.) It's more the question of if I feel up for being away that long.

As for what I want, definitely a soul searching reconnection with our creator. I know this is capable to happen in any environment and place, because of who he is, I just need space to do it. I have already started my spiritual training, more like weeding, and view the Camino as the capstone and trial-by-fire.

Funny story, I asked my two year old if Momma should go on a long walk for her trip or go to a cabin in the woods (I was thinking of Snowdonia) and he choose the long walk. From the mouths of babes

Your two-year-old has some wisdom, I think.

I have walked the Camino Frances three times now, and I've gone by myself each time. It was funny, so many people said to me, "Rachel, you're so brave! I could never do what you're doing on my own... you're a woman, going to a new country where you don't know anyone, and you don't know the language, and you're going to walk by yourself for 35 days?!" This was after years of chronic illness, during which I'd been told I would never be able to live a "normal" life again, and I thought that overseas travel wouldn't be possible for me. But I was always more afraid of not having everything I needed packed in my backpack, haha! It was a huge leap of faith to go, and it was beautiful, and brilliant, and life-affirming, and... alluding to your nickname here, I experienced a lot of joyful strength.

I've often spoken with women on the Camino who are moms, and left their husband and kids at home during the duration of their walk. There was a difference between what they said in Pamplona, three days into the walk, and how they felt by the time they reached Burgos or Leon, many days later. For some, the separation tugged on their heartstrings at the beginning, but knowing that their little ones were safe and healthy at home eased their minds, as did getting into the rhythm of the gift and peace of walking. And what stories they would have to tell, when they got home! And what beauty they experienced, every day (even in the moments of struggle and exertion). Talk about a way to refill your energy tank for life!

The choice is yours, of course. Thank goodness for that! Whatever you decide, you really can't get it wrong. There's a lot of freedom in that! It's normal to feel some jitters before you go. I spent a year planning my first Camino and I had ups and downs at a few points as I prepared. But I knew before I ever went to walk my first Camino, that I wanted to walk at least twice (and when I got there I quickly saw why). Your heart is open to this, and is inviting you. My vote (although I don't get a vote ) is for SJPP. Starting in Leon is lovely too, and would give you a few days to get your body used to walking before heading over the mountains between Astorga and Molinaseca (and prep for the climb to O Cebreiro). But there is great beauty in doing all the stages from SJPP to Santiago... I love the Meseta, for one thing. And the walk from Roncesvalles to Zubiri is gorgeous. I'm excited to be going back for my 4th Camino soon.

Wherever your footsteps lead you, I wish you a blessed Buen Camino!

Rachel/Caminoheart

 

[when night falls]

There are so many wise words already said in this thread. But I would like to go back to your initial question: does anyone else wonder if there are alternatives to the Camino for reaching goals like yours:
"To find strength in myself, conquer fears of being alone, and experience new places. Would a simple vacation, in your opinion, possibly achieve those goals"

I have traveled a lot in my days, both alone and with my family. But I have never done a walkabout like the Camino. Now, when almost all the practical preparations are done when it comes to gear, I look I my backpack and the stuff and I starts to question my own decision of going. I know that I would love to visit other places, cities around the world. And book my calender full of "must do, must see" in each and every city I visit. It is lovely, and it is rewarding in most cases.

Then again, I am thinking that there is a significant difference between regular tourist travels and walking the Camino:
Almost all tourist attractions will remain and look the same every time you go there. The travel context may differ, but the "wow - look at that -feeling" will be pretty much the same every time you visit Paris, The Louvre, London, New York or the Niagara Falls.
You will be busy checking things, do some shopping and handle the crowds everywhere. It will keep you busy, and not leave that much time for contemplation and thinking.

But on the Camino, on the other hand, there is a certain amount of monotony which will give you space and peace to think about whatever comes to mind which will be rewarding on a deeper emotional level. This I believe is also the key to why the emotional experience will differ each time you walk the Camino. We all change over time and that will affect how the Camino is experienced. Walking the Camino more than once is not the same as taking the elevator to the top of the Eiffel-tower again, or stand in line for the Statue of Liberty once again.

And that brings me back to the goals you have: I am quite sure any kind of travel will help you to reach these goals, albeit in different ways.

I got the urge to do the Camino, because I need to "reboot" life in some sense, and my personal goal is (was) to do something I have never done before, hence the Camino.

It also means that I will leave my 8 year old daughter with her mother for six weeks.
The separation is compensated with three weeks together outside of Barcelona before I leave for the Camino, but I dread the separation, to say the least. But then again, there are some cross roads in life where you simply have to make a decision one way or the other.

Buen Camino!
Michael

 

[Camino2010]

I got the urge to do the Camino, because I need to "reboot" life in some sense, and my personal goal is (was) to do something I have never done before, hence the Camino.

It also means that I will leave my 8 year old daughter with her mother for six weeks.
The separation is compensated with three weeks together outside of Barcelona before I leave for the Camino, but I dread the separation, to say the least. But then again, there are some cross roads in life where a you simply need to make a decision one way or the other.

Buen Camino!
Michael

Yes, it's not only moms on the Camino who are missing their children at home, it's sometimes dads on the Camino who are missing their children at home! It touches my heart to learn about close family connections as I walk, and maybe someday your daughter will walk the Camino with you!

 

[Fritz]

Hi Joy, your strength is showing and I applaud your courage in sharing your goals and concerns with everyone here . What a gift.

I own a "cabin in the woods" that I rent to writers for week long stays. What they have told me might help you, too. With a cabin in the woods," being alone = solitude . After you buy your groceries in town, you don't see anyone or talk with anyone all day, all week, all month ... whatever, unless you drive into town.

On a vacation, being alone = anonymous. You chat with dozens of people everyday, the waitress, the cab driver, the family in the elevator, but no one knows you or your life. (Of course, you can share as much or as little as you want.)

The Camino Frances is so well organized and supported that it offers both solitude and anonymity... and a bit of family, too. You can walk for hours and entire days without seeing another person. At the end of the day, you can chat with many people and still be anonymous, and in other days, you and your new pilgrim family will grow closer than some of your life-long friends.

There are other pilgrimages in the world and several paths to Santiago. The Frances is a great way to let your inner strength show you what kind of "alone" is right for you.

Buen Camino

 

[waveprof]

How many children do you have? If it is just the two year old then, depending on her personality, and depending on your husband, you could consider all walking together, as a family. Taking a child on Camino is a lot of work and requires a lot of planning, and it isn't right for "most" kids---it wouldn't be a decision to be taken lightly.......but a lot of people have done it VERY successfully, and it can be a great, great experience for the right family, and for a kid with the right personality. Not a "likely" option for you, but one worth considering that you may not have already considered.

 

[jpflavin1]

Hey all,

I am struggling to decide what to commit to doing. I have been planning on walking the Frances and there's part of my heart that longs to do it. As I delve into the process of getting ready the time away is a growing worry.

My husband, Sean, is so supportive and will be staying home with our kids. The thought of 35+ days away is becoming more a reality to me and I am wondering if I should do a shorter route. I've never been to Europe and I have also thrown around the idea of a week or two in London and Paris.

Sean asked me yesterday, "What does your heart want to do?" and I replied that it is confused.

What are your suggestions? Have others found similar fulfillment in a shorter route? I love the idea of the stages talked about on the Frances, the first part challenging your body, the second your mind, and last your spirit.

My goals are to find strength in myself, conquer fears of being alone, and experience new places. Would a simple vacation, in your opinion, possibly achieve those goals?

Thank you!

Joy:

I have a few thoughts on your post. First, most of us tend to think in the short term, thirty-five days is not a long time, imo. Goals of personal growth and new experiences are ongoing activities. Five weeks, periodically set aside in a lifetime, is not a long time. That said, I realize you will be leaving your family behind.

A Camino will provide a test to ones inner strength, opportunities to be alone and experiences such as different food, culture, people, historical sites and much more. IMO, you will come home a different person. I recommend you go on this introspective journey without too many preconceived goals. Like the great Philosopher Mick Jagger said; "You don't always get what you want but you find sometimes you get what you need".

Finally, a vacation or holiday to London or Paris, would be wasted without my family or at least my spouse. The Camino is not a holiday, imo.

Therefore, if you are looking for a holiday, choose London, Paris or one of many great European cities. If you are looking for an introspective journey, that imo can lead to self growth, walk a Camino.

Whatever choice you make, I am sure it will be the best one for you.

Ultreya,
Joe

 

[fiona12]

Hey all,

I am struggling to decide what to commit to doing. I have been planning on walking the Frances and there's part of my heart that longs to do it. As I delve into the process of getting ready the time away is a growing worry.

My husband, Sean, is so supportive and will be staying home with our kids. The thought of 35+ days away is becoming more a reality to me and I am wondering if I should do a shorter route. I've never been to Europe and I have also thrown around the idea of a week or two in London and Paris.

Sean asked me yesterday, "What does your heart want to do?" and I replied that it is confused.

What are your suggestions? Have others found similar fulfillment in a shorter route? I love the idea of the stages talked about on the Frances, the first part challenging your body, the second your mind, and last your spirit.

My goals are to find strength in myself, conquer fears of being alone, and experience new places. Would a simple vacation, in your opinion, possibly achieve those goals?

Thank you!

Joy
So many responses really resonate with me.

In Nov 2012 I went through three weeks of feeling a nagging to see a friend who had walked a section of the Frances. Eventually we met for a walk and within an hour I knew it was what I HAD to do and ASAP. I walked Leon to Santiago at the beginning of Feb 2013, alone. I had never walked more than 8km in a day (first day I did about 27km with ease). I was 53 years old and fairly fit and independent but the camino was a totally different experience. At the time I could only afford 2 weeks for walking and I chose that section because my friend had done the same and it is one of the busier sections in winter.

I came back still not knowing why I had felt the compulsion to go. My friend told me that she believes it may not have been for ME but perhaps I had to be there for other people on the Way. I believe she was right as one of the people I walked with the last few days told me that I helped him to clarify issues he was battling with, and he knew what he needed to do when he got home. My trip also had a big impact on my man at home. We had not had more than 5 days apart in nearly 20 years. It was an eye-opener how much I was appreciated on my return

In the two years since my partial camino I have thought of the Camino every single day. I know that I need to walk from SJPP over the Pyrenees. I don't know how far I will go as I don't feel a need to go to Santiago, but I know that I will go and I will go in winter again.

So, Joy, listen to that inner voice. GO, EnJOY, you will never forget the experience!

 

[Letsgocamino]

Hey all,

I am struggling to decide what to commit to doing. I have been planning on walking the Frances and there's part of my heart that longs to do it. As I delve into the process of getting ready the time away is a growing worry.

My husband, Sean, is so supportive and will be staying home with our kids. The thought of 35+ days away is becoming more a reality to me and I am wondering if I should do a shorter route. I've never been to Europe and I have also thrown around the idea of a week or two in London and Paris.

Sean asked me yesterday, "What does your heart want to do?" and I replied that it is confused.

What are your suggestions? Have others found similar fulfillment in a shorter route? I love the idea of the stages talked about on the Frances, the first part challenging your body, the second your mind, and last your spirit.

My goals are to find strength in myself, conquer fears of being alone, and experience new places. Would a simple vacation, in your opinion, possibly achieve those goals?

Thank you!

No. Gotta walk. A simple(?)vacation wont do it. Suggestions to start out in, say, Leon are good. Even Ponferrada which will put you 10 days or less out of Santiago. Don't let traveling alone get in your head. Its the thinking about it beforehand that makes you doubt. You're going to have a wonderful experience. Go and embrace it.

 

[Walking by faith]

We live in 21st century. You can talk for two hours on Skype with your loved ones in practically every alberge (or restaurant on the way). I saw sooo many Americans doing it on the Camino. I think that some of them actually talked more with their families back in States on the Camino, then they do at home .


Then, even though some people may not like what I am to write, the fact is that a role of a wife and mother isn't your only role in life (it could be, if things were okay in this world, but things aren't okay..). Therefore there are other roles, maybe some mission you haven't discovered yet, and the Camino will show it to you... In a worst case possible, it will make from you even a better mother and wife.


The worst thing you can do is to give in to your comfort zone. Don't let the doubts to get the best of you... Pack your things and go discover yourself! Buen Camino!