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I'm Becoming a Bore to my Family

ricitosdeplata

Active Member
Time of past OR future Camino
09/2015: Via de la Plata
I guess my enthusiasm/obsession for my upcoming trip is turning my family off. I just figured it out after spending a couple of days with my sister after a few not so subtle comments the morning I left. At first my feelings were hurt but now I'm feeling I have to restrict my conversation unless asked about my trip.

I'm also thinking I will not be posting on Facebook while I'm on the camino but will create a thread on this forum or start a blog.

Have any of you experienced anything similar?
 
The one from Galicia (the round) and the one from Castilla & Leon. Individually numbered and made by the same people that make the ones you see on your walk.
Ha ha! @ricitosdeplata You are not a bore to us!

I try not to reveal the full extent of my camino preoccupation to others. One thing you can do with Facebook is to create a List with your Camino friends. Then you post your frequent camino updates so that only those people see them. A blog allows you to write stuff that you might feel is beyond the scope of this forum. The onus is on the blog reader to go read it, so your friends are not bombarded with updates if they are not interested. However, your friends will probably be more interested in your actual live pilgrimage than they are on the minutiae of your planning.
 
Thanks, for the wise words @C clearly. I never considered the Camino friend group. Will look into it.

I'd like to start a blog but I think I will do one with less of a day to day detail of route but pick some topics to address as I travel. I have some ideas already.
 
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To expand on C Clearly's great suggestion - if you read Joseph Campbell's "Hero with a Thousand Faces", he says that a critical part of the Hero's or Pilgrim's Journey is to return to the community after the journey and tell the community what they have learned and experienced. In other words, when a pilgrim returns he or she can't shut up about the experience. So your desires and enthusiasm are completely natural. When I went on the Camino I asked friends and family if they wanted to be on an email distribution list. So when I sent out occasional emails while on the Camino I knew they went out to people who had an interest in hearing about my experience. Buen Camino!
 
I have the same predicament. And just like @C clearly has mentioned, I have created a list for Facebook friends who would appreciate my ramblings :) Those who are not on the list won't see what I write. I love to write about the Camino (through my own website) and again, a dedicated email is sent to those who are interested :)
 
It is easy to become a "Camino Bore". We decided on a blog for our 2014 Camino. In the blog we combined a regular update on our progress with short discussions of Camino topics (go to the link below if you are interested). With the blog we found some friends followed it regularly, some read the whole thing after our return, and some were not interested enough to ever look at it! To each his own.

This problem is not limited to Caminoists. We've read of folks returning from 2 years on a Peace Corp mission to find friends and family less than enthusiastic about hearing the many 'fascinating' stories.

Our only other comment is: Don't let anyone dampen your enthusiasm! A Camino is a fantastic experience, share with those who are interested, don't fret about those who aren't.
 
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There was also the comment that she heard from an in-law, who walked the CF, that most pilgrims are introspective and talking too much would be frowned upon by other pilgrims. (Siblings know just where to zing you.) I don't want to be a boisterous, ugly American and interfere either. In fact, I myself have chosen taking VDLP up to Astorga and then joining CF so part of the time I can get more solitude. Maybe the fact that I spend 99% of my time caregiving my 93 year old Mother explains why I am more talkative when I finally get around more responsive adults.

I'd be interested in hearing what it's like on the camino and in the albergues. I never got the impression from this forum that the camino was like being at a retreat as my sister described.
 
@bsewall, @clearskies , and @MileHighPair, sounds like my situation is not unique. That helps.

I made a camino friends group on Facebook already, so I can let my daughters know I'm safe, and I'll post my website once, when I leave, for anyone interested in following me. That way it will be out of my hands and I won't be faced with including anyone in my group who is just being polite.
 
There was also the comment that she heard from an in-law, who walked the CF, that most pilgrims are introspective and talking too much would be frowned upon by other pilgrims. (Siblings know just where to zing you.) I don't want to be a boisterous, ugly American and interfere either. In fact, I myself have chosen taking VDLP up to Astorga and then joining CF so part of the time I can get more solitude. Maybe the fact that I spend 99% of my time caregiving my 93 year old Mother explains why I am more talkative when I finally get around more responsive adults.

I'd be interested in hearing what it's like on the camino and in the albergues. I never got the impression from this forum that the camino was like being at a retreat as my sister described.
That is just ridiculous! It's happy, joyful, talkative, and often too loud. On all my walks there was only once when there was someone pushing the envelop, and he is someone who claims to,have walked over 25k in pilgramages. But he would stand outside the albergue screaming for others to join him to go into town, while the others were trying to rest. I doubt that will be you.
 
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As to being a bore, you may also feel this upon returning. There is a boitique where I live that specialises on the Camino and you can rent it on evenings when it is othwrwise closed to make a video presentation to your friends and family so tjat you do it once amd them leave them in peace
 
I'd be interested in hearing what it's like on the camino and in the albergues. I never got the impression from this forum that the camino was like being at a retreat as my sister described.
I think each pilgrim is free to make of the Camino what he/she wants, and fellow-pilgrims respect others' needs and wishes. Here are some threads on socializing on the Camino which you may find helpful. I see you plan on walking the Via de la Plata; I don't know if these links apply specifically to that one.
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...avoid-people-on-the-camino.31808/#post-279369
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...iable-for-a-solo-traveller.33386/#post-300072
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...her-pilgrims-on-the-camino.31264/#post-272571
 
As to being a bore, you may also feel this upon returning. There is a boitique where I live that specialises on the Camino and you can rent it on evenings when it is othwrwise closed to make a video presentation to your friends and family so tjat you do it once amd them leave them in peace
Another great idea. I have a video camera and tripod I could use and then upload it to youtube.
 
St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
@Icacos, I enjoyed reading the threads you linked on your post. Expect the unexpected, walk your own camino, and some very humorous ways of avoiding socializing were some of the things I took away from them. And it seems that communal meals and vino are great ways to interact with others, if desired.
 
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Laurie, a few months ago found their website and no upcoming activity was listed. Will try again.

I did attend a fabric art exhibit by a San Antonio artist whose work was influenced by her camino.

So many great ideas and support from fellow pilgrims! This is why I love this forum. Maybe as adults we start to chose our own family.
 
Looks like the San Antonio chapter of American Pilgrims just had a mass and dinner last week to celebrate the feast of St James. I missed it but I emailed them to put me on their email list for future events.
 
It is easy to become a "Camino Bore". We decided on a blog for our 2014 Camino. In the blog we combined a regular update on our progress with short discussions of Camino topics (go to the link below if you are interested). With the blog we found some friends followed it regularly, some read the whole thing after our return, and some were not interested enough to ever look at it! To each his own.

This problem is not limited to Caminoists. We've read of folks returning from 2 years on a Peace Corp mission to find friends and family less than enthusiastic about hearing the many 'fascinating' stories.

Our only other comment is: Don't let anyone dampen your enthusiasm! A Camino is a fantastic experience, share with those who are interested, don't fret about those who aren't.

Thought I'd take a look at your blog tonight but unless I'm missing something, the link isn't on your post. Would like to read it when you have a chance to share the link.
 
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Hi! Ricitosdeplata,
Is there a local "Camino Group" close to where you live? It is wonderful to share experiences with like minded people who have either walked the Camino or are planning to do so. Our local group helped me get over the "Camino Blues " on return, and no one "rolls their eyes" when you relate your adventures.
 
I posted photos daily that I took on my phone on FB and made comments about stuff that happened during my day. I've had a lot of positive feedback. If people don't want to read it, they don't have to open the post. But quite a few will. My aunt went travelling around France a couple of years ago and I loved her daily updates.
Besides it means you won't have to explain asuch when you get back home.
 
€2,-/day will present your project to thousands of visitors each day. All interested in the Camino de Santiago.
Thanks, Mike. Signatures don't appear on my android. I notice other differences on the forum from my kindle, like not being able to start a new thread unless I select a camino subsection.

@Donna Sch, thanks for the encouragement, you're absolutely right about FB posts.

@Liz444, the San Antonio group has had a total of 2 get togethers this year. But I am hoping I can connect with some members of the group. The fabric artist I met when I rented her house through Airbnb was pretty cool. I also could be more assertive and start a Meetup group myself.
 
I posted photos daily that I took on my phone on FB and made comments about stuff that happened during my day. I've had a lot of positive feedback. If people don't want to read it, they don't have to open the post. But quite a few will. My aunt went travelling around France a couple of years ago and I loved her daily updates.
Besides it means you won't have to explain asuch when you get back home.

When I bought a travel sim card many years ago (pre Facebook!) it came with access to an online travel journal which you could set to friends view only and add emails of interested people. This has been a really useful way to communicate as I can post text and photos from a non-smart travel phone. A postcard email is sent out for each new post and the frequency of this can be set as well.

I volunteer in a Buddy Program for early onset dementia sufferers and they pestered us to be added to the email list. Imagine my surprise when we returned home and the whole wall of the community house was covered with pictures and maps of our trip. I've added a photo but it doesn't do it justice. Everyone really enjoyed my posts and followed our progress on a map. It was a wonderful way to engage, inform, entertain and also not be forgotten.

IMG_5174.JPG

I find that by keeping up my journal, our friends and family have experienced some of our journey and they are usually full of questions when we return. I organise our pictures into 3 self explanatory slideshows - short, medium and 'the works' to suit all.

One of my dear friends was so taken with the Camino that she bought the guidebooks to follow our trip. I timed our arrival at the Santiago Cathedral to Australian time and she was thrilled to see us waving to her on the webcam while we texted. Technology is marvellous sometimes.

D044_040.PNG
 
I vowed not to use Facebook, but on a long slow afternoon one day when I felt lonely as the only English speaker in a group of French and Spanish speakers, I decided to post my pics to FB. The response was overwhelmingly positive so I continued posting. I have had to be aware when sharing my stories since returning - to watch the response and know who really wants to hear the stories and who just wants to know "the trip was great". I actually found more solitude on the Camino Frances than on the Via as our group on the Via was so small and the options so limited we ended up together all the time (after walking). On the Camino the larger numbers allow you to choose to interact or to be alone. Having that choice was important to me. I hope you have a wonderful time. I am one who will say the Camino has changed me forever. Buen Camino!
 
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I have done a lot of walking in some pretty amazing places over the years (Camino included). I learnt that most people (that includes family as well) were not in the slightest bit interested apart from a brief overview and so I now steer well clear of it in general conversation. - I guess its a bit like looking at other peoples holiday snaps. I find Facebook is useful release that allows me to paste picture about my exploits without boring people, it also helps my wife and family keep track of where I am and so negates me having to phone home at regular intervals.
 
So I'm getting that, just like the camino experience, things can vary from a fantastic wall display to indifference. Maybe one of the lessons of the camino will be acceptance. As they say, it is what it is.
 
Camino talk = children/grandchildren talk to others. Except of course that the Camino is special, the heirs ... ? After all there are only a handful of Caminos and they are all beatiful. Heirs? How many billion are we on this planet, and as far a beautiful .... Just for the lucky ones
 
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@Anemone del Camino, were you listening to my conversation with my daughter? We discussed the very same thing yesterday. I thought it was a fair trade listening about grandchildren. Wouldn't think of saying in exasperation, "Grandchildren, again!" as I was met with, "Spain, again!" But of course I love my neices and nephews and actually like hearing about them.

In spite of my post about acceptance, you can tell I am not quite there. "Poco a poco" the sting is subsiding. Can't help myself yet from conjuring up devilish comebacks.
 
I guess my enthusiasm/obsession for my upcoming trip is turning my family off. I just figured it out after spending a couple of days with my sister after a few not so subtle comments the morning I left. At first my feelings were hurt but now I'm feeling I have to restrict my conversation unless asked about my trip.
Have any of you experienced anything similar?

You too huh? ;)

I suspect that's why so many of us hang out on the Forum so much :)
 
Get a spanish phone number with Airalo. eSim, so no physical SIM card. Easy to use app to add more funds if needed.
I guess my enthusiasm/obsession for my upcoming trip is turning my family off. I just figured it out after spending a couple of days with my sister after a few not so subtle comments the morning I left. At first my feelings were hurt but now I'm feeling I have to restrict my conversation unless asked about my trip.

I'm also thinking I will not be posting on Facebook while I'm on the camino but will create a thread on this forum or start a blog.

Have any of you experienced anything similar?
Absolutely! In 2013 when my son and I were preparing to embark on this journey, we laughed at the way the rest of the family would roll their eyes as we began the Camino discussions. He finally started calling me on the phone as he drove home from work where our enthusiasm was free to run wildly! It helps if you have someone to be excited with, but for the most part, many people either don't get it or just aren't interested. Don't let it discourage you, you will find plenty of people who will talk about it when you get there -- and here! Happy planning!!
 
@Unleash Your Joy!, I love your moniker. I am super excited as each day gets closer to my departure.
Another brother-in-law just told me how proud he was of me and my taking on this challenge. And my kids and even my ex husband are very supportive. It's best to focus on the positive.
I'm sure I'll have to do the same on the camino, so this I is good practice. 40 days to go !!!
 
I friended one of my Camino buddies on FB and tagged those photos he appeared in so they popped up on his feed. Then his girlfriend who hadn't entertained the thought that he could end up walking with a woman got jealous. Phone argument later and he asked me to stop tagging to keep the peace. Except that his friends and family had enjoyed seeing my posts because they now knew he was in one piece, they could see the type of terrain that was being covered and his Mum was happy that he was no longer walking by himself, had stopped losing weight and was making friends. So next thing his best friend is giving him a bollocking and he's asking me to start tagging again.
 
St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
Well, I'm sorry to admit that I'm even becoming a bore to my hiking partner who will be doing the Camino with me!!! LOL!!! How sad is that?!?! :(

I'm a planner and researcher so I'm LOVING this forum and all the informative bits you share that will help me on my journey. Everyone has their own tolerance level for research, enthusiasm (obsession), and sharing. I've yet to find someone locally who fully appreciates my excitement and I can see them shut down after a minute or two. So I've dialed it back and I lurk on this column reading all your posts about the things you are thinking about as you prepare for and return from your pilgrimages. I love this virtual Camino family.
 
I got told to shut up going on a couple of months ago by my wife, and I haven't even been yet. Now I don't mention it at all unless I'm asked, that could very well change after I've completed the journey, although I'll try and stick to my rule.
As for recording the camino I will be sending photo's back daily for my wife to compile ready for my journal, and if anyone wants to view they only have to ask.
 
Technical backpack for day trips with backpack cover and internal compartment for the hydration bladder. Ideal daypack for excursions where we need a medium capacity backpack. The back with Air Flow System creates large air channels that will keep our back as cool as possible.

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@Lightened Up
Hola Kindred Soul & Fellow Research Obsessive
Pity that we live continents apart.

@Waka
Get similar response from my husband when in the planning stages then... when we are actually On Track I have a favourite response to his endless questions Now you want to know, Now you're interested.

Been walking together in remote areas for a lifetime (or so it seems). Still married.
 
I guess my enthusiasm/obsession for my upcoming trip is turning my family off. I just figured it out after spending a couple of days with my sister after a few not so subtle comments the morning I left. At first my feelings were hurt but now I'm feeling I have to restrict my conversation unless asked about my trip.

I'm also thinking I will not be posting on Facebook while I'm on the camino but will create a thread on this forum or start a blog.

Have any of you experienced anything similar?
I experienced the same thing! It's interesting for a moment, only, to some people. I set up a blog and don't think I'll post on facebook. Buen camino, my friend.
 
Technical backpack for day trips with backpack cover and internal compartment for the hydration bladder. Ideal daypack for excursions where we need a medium capacity backpack. The back with Air Flow System creates large air channels that will keep our back as cool as possible.

€83,-
It is easy to become a "Camino Bore". We decided on a blog for our 2014 Camino. In the blog we combined a regular update on our progress with short discussions of Camino topics (go to the link below if you are interested). With the blog we found some friends followed it regularly, some read the whole thing after our return, and some were not interested enough to ever look at it! To each his own.

This problem is not limited to Caminoists. We've read of folks returning from 2 years on a Peace Corp mission to find friends and family less than enthusiastic about hearing the many 'fascinating' stories.

Our only other comment is: Don't let anyone dampen your enthusiasm! A Camino is a fantastic experience, share with those who are interested, don't fret about those who aren't.
I agree; using my volunteer experiences in India, it has been heard a few times "Don't get Maggie going "
But my real friends can't seem to get enough. I do find that doing a slide show definitely stimulates the interest. I'm sure I'll do the same with my Camino experience.
 
@Lori D. and @movinmaggie, maybe those who don't want to listen to or read what we have to share shouldn't be judged too harshly. But for those who support us and are excited with us can certainly be called our "cheerleaders" and deserve a special place in our hearts. It takes a special person to be empathic and realize that this camino adventure could be a trip of a lifetime.
 
"maybe those who don't want to listen to or read what we have to share shouldn't be judged too harshly"


You have figured it our and have not ever started. Congratulations! I have had the good fortune of walking it twice so far. It always seemed difficult for me to explain the Camino with others that have not had the experience. But fortunately you will make a lot of friends when you are there and most likely will stay connected with them when you come home and start planning your next trip. In addition there is this wonderful Forum. (Thank you Ivar !)

I must warn you that the Camino is a positive addiction and that is okay! It is a personal thing and it will be what you make out of it.

So go for it, have a great time and take care of your feet when you are there.

Buen Camino,

Dennis
 
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St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
@ricitosdeplata : I find this withdrawal from discussions of foreign travel is not limited to the Camino experience. Those who like and enjoy travel, and new experiences, go travelling. Those who don't, don't ... and resist the thought. So make friends with traveling people - and your conversations will be welcome!
 
As I read these posts I'm waiting for my computer to "export" a video presentation of our recent Camino. Working out what to include (and exclude) is hard. 840 km is a lot of photos and stories. I started off with a three hour slideshow. Zzzzzzz. Now down to 20 minutes, and it will get shortened further, to something hopefully pithy, interesting, beautiful. My observation is that one striking image tells the story best. I think that is also true with anecdotes.
 
As for recording the camino I will be sending photo's back daily for my wife to compile ready for my journal, and if anyone wants to view they only have to ask.

I found a Blog was useful. Easy to update each day whilst relaxing and it kept all those who were interested.....up to date. i.e. Let people self select, don't push it at them. I was surprised by how interested some were...
 
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I guess my enthusiasm/obsession for my upcoming trip is turning my family off. I just figured it out after spending a couple of days with my sister after a few not so subtle comments the morning I left. At first my feelings were hurt but now I'm feeling I have to restrict my conversation unless asked about my trip.

I'm also thinking I will not be posting on Facebook while I'm on the camino but will create a thread on this forum or start a blog.

Have any of you experienced anything similar?
Hi not sure your location but a great place to talk everything Your Camino ,is at the local American Pilgrims on the Camino local chapter. Check to see if there is one near you. Buen Camino!
 

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