Modesty on the Camino

[SisterPearl]

For those of you who have completed a Camino, what advice can you give on keeping modesty? From all I have read, I understand it is a challenge in many aspects. I maintain physical modesty in dress & interactions, specifically with men, and this is very important to me. I'm much more relaxed around other women, but I know many of the refugios are mixed. I've come to terms with that, and I know not to have the same expectations that I would at home. However, I would greatly appreciate any advice on maintaining modesty while on the Camino!

 

[Kitsambler]

I can only speak for the experience in France. There are two aspects to your question: your own body and others. For your own body, you can change your clothes in the bathing/toiletting rooms, which provide good privacy. This may require some fore-thinking to make sure you have everything with you when you enter those facilities.

For avoiding the bodies of others ... all I can suggest is taking a bunk near a corner, and averting your eyes. If it becomes too much for your sensibilities, there are always the pricer hotel rooms with their guarantee of privacy.

 

[SisterPearl]

Hahaha, I can deal with other people's nudity (or near-nudity), that doesn't really bother me so much, I just look away or whatever. To each his own, right? But thank you so very much, it is a relief to know that there are places that I can change with some privacy!

 

[Anniesantiago]

Just remember to take your money belt and passport IN to the changing area. It's handy to keep it in a zip-lock bag to keep it dry when you shower.

 

[Br. David]

A good thread and a good question - I find that it is the same with me. Funny thing is, on the first few nights one is extremely conscious of it all - especially, I think, the mixed bathrooms - but after a few nights along the camino it all becomes rather normal - everyone (except the odd peeper of course) in the same boat. There is a natural personal modesty and a natural dropping of the eyes ... there we are, closer to almost absolute strangers than ever in our lives, and, well, we just sort of jolly along.
Then there becomes this odd sense of personal space within the multitude. I remember being in a refuge in France and a couple a little older than I were talking to each other as if I was not there. At first it was merely where they should eat that night and when to go out but it moved across into a rather personal and intimate and 'unfinished business' sort of discussion, and there was I, in the room, there but pretending to not be able to hear anything - I felt more naked then than I did in the bathrooms!
so - even those who live in community have their own private space - but in the refuges the private space is internal - and it really all does become quite normal - actually, I shall put that normal as 'normal' :wink:

 

[wdbillingsley]

My first night on the Camino I was laying on my bottom bunk in the Alburge reading the book of James and got to the scripture 1:12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation...when a young lady standing next to my bed about two feet away starts changing clothes and drops her pants. My first thought is "There is temptation" and my second thought is "how can she hike all day in a tiny blue thong?"

The funny part of this is that she was conversing with some young men a couple bunks away and was really being modest by standing between the bunk beds so they couldn't see her.

 

[Anniesantiago]

Haha! That made me laugh. Great story! :lol:

 

[Angel-hart]

I was not to surprised on our second night in Roncesvalles walking to the showers passing a topless woman milling around her bunk area talking on the phone thinking "oh in Europe it doesn't seem to be such a big thing?" That was the only time I witnessed that. Most people are generally modest and very considerate.

Hanging your towel along the bottom of the top bunk works well(provided your on the bottom bunk) to give you a sense of a little privacy, and helps avert your eyes, and makes it so your not staring at someone close to you.

 

[SYates]

Nobody and nothing forces you to expose your body on the Camino (ok, apart of that desperate toilet break in the middle of the tree-less meseta ;-) Apart of and including it - there is the all-important 'chastity of the eyes'. I think @Viranani mentioned that one in another thread. Most pilgrims will just pretend not 'seeing you' on those occasions. Buen Camino, SY

 

[Albertagirl]

For those of you who have completed a Camino, what advice can you give on keeping modesty? From all I have read, I understand it is a challenge in many aspects. I maintain physical modesty in dress & interactions, specifically with men, and this is very important to me. I'm much more relaxed around other women, but I know many of the refugios are mixed. I've come to terms with that, and I know not to have the same expectations that I would at home. However, I would greatly appreciate any advice on maintaining modesty while on the Camino!

@SisterPearl
I have mentioned this in another thread, but it might be helpful to you to think out what you will/would do in case you find yourself suddenly naked to the male gaze. I stepped rapidly back into the shower, falling heavily on the wet and slippery floor. Fortunately, I was not badly hurt, but this could have been a camino ender. Instinctive modesty can be dangerous in the communal atmosphere of a camino albergue.

 

[gerardcarey]

What about us blokes?
I very nearly had a heart attack!
A bloke has to be real careful.
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/health-heights-and-a-horrid-horseman.38359/
Regards
Gerard

 

[JudyInTexas]

I understand that nudity is viewed differently in some parts at Europe than in the USA and I understand "custody of the eyes" that has been discussed here before; but, geez, some things can't be un-seen!

 

[Kanga]

I've posted this before, but I think it is worth a reprise!

 

[VNwalking]

I'm on my phone so can't easily find the thread, @SisterPearl, but there was a prolonged discussion of this not too long ago.

I used to be quite relaxed around such situations. But things have long since changed for me and at first I found the albergues a bit of a shock--both because of my religious vows and because I've become accustomed to modesty and livkng separately from men. I assumed it would be similar on the Camino...but where was I coming from? Of course it usually isn't, and most people deal with it by scrupulously minding their own business. And by custody of the eyes...guarding the sense doors.

I have to say it was disconcerting to be the only woman in a dorm full of men in the Santa Maria albergue in Carrion this year. Normally this is one place where genders sleep separately, but the nuns were off for the week and the volunteer hospitaleros had no inclination (completely uderstandably) to open a whole dorm room for only me!

Living in close quarters is also
complicated by the fact that not everyone is doing the same kind of camino--for me the party scene can be equally uncomfortable. But.
Bottom line is that we all make do, somehow. I figure its my job as a pilgrim to practice contentment and not demand what isn't offered. And to learn to coexist with differences.

It's definitely a practice, and not just in this area.
But it helps to remember that we're all in the same boat and the Golden Rule definitely applies. Fortunately most people follow it insofar as giving each other space from being watched.

 

[Tincatinker]

I understand that nudity is viewed differently in some parts

I think part of the point of this and previous threads is that nudity isn't 'viewed' at all; moments of deshabille are not seen. See this thread for a pre-hash of this topic https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/the-daily-routine.18372

 

[wayfarer]

Just to let you all know, this is an old thread and SisterPearl was last seen on Sep 9, 2014.

 

[Tincatinker]

SisterPearl was last seen on Sep 9, 2014

Ah, but who saw her and what did they see?

 

[wayfarer]

Ah, but who saw her and what did they see?

I should have clarified, SisterPearl was last seen on this particular Thread, not "seen" seen, if you know what I mean.

 

[JohnnieWalker]

The mods need to get back on their medication. Behave yourselves or we'll post more topics on religion and the politics of bull fighting

 

[Icacos]

I'm actually having a good chuckle over this last little exchange. Thanks all.

 

[SYates]

The mods need to get back on their medication. Behave yourselves or we'll post more topics on religion and the politics of bull fighting

What about the pre-christian origins of bullfighting and the politics of fashion of the vatican like the famous purple heels?
Buen Camino, SY

 

[JohnnieWalker]

What about the pre-christian origins of bullfighting and the politics of fashion of the vatican like the famous purple heels?
Buen Camino, SY

There is a shrine on the right hand side of the Rua Franco just after the Post office to mark the spot where the bulls pulling Saint James' body stopped for water. (there really is.)
Then apparently they had a fight when approached by the canons of the cathedral who have different coloured pompoms on their hats denoting their role in the chapter ( they really do)

Discuss

 

[Albertagirl]

There is a shrine on the right hand side of the Rua Franco just after the Post office to mark the spot where the bulls pulling Saint James' body stopped for water. (there really is.)
Then apparently they had a fight when approached by the canons of the cathedral who have different coloured pompoms on their hats denoting their role in the chapter ( they really do)

Discuss

@JohnnieWalker
You are in a mischievous mood today.

 

[VNwalking]

The joke's on all of us.

 

[JohnnieWalker]

@JohnnieWalker
You are in a mischievous mood today.

Forgive me. I've been walking all day in temperatures in the mid 30's. The gin and tonic I will consume in 30 mins will be an effective antidote. Promise!

 

[Albertagirl]

Forgive me. I've been walking all day in temperatures in the mid 30's. The gin and tonic I will consume in 30 mins will be an effective antidote. Promise!

Too bad. I've been enjoying it.

 

[Tincatinker]

Could we all please behave ourselves - @JohnnieWalker I hope that G&T was worth the effort (I'm sure it was )

 

[SYates]

Says the man who started it all ;-)

Ah, but who saw her and what did they see?

SY *Ducks and runs*

PS If this thread ever get the first price for 'thread having developed as farest away from the original intention of the OP' ???

 

[Deacon Jason]

What about the pre-christian origins of bullfighting and the politics of fashion of the vatican like the famous purple heels?
Buen Camino, SY

The more relevant question for the Camino is: if the Holy Father was walking the CF, would he wear red waterproof hiking boots or red ventilated sandals? Would he don a liturgically colored rain jacket, a chasuble-like Altus or use the umbrellino?

 

[SYates]

I guess the current Holy Father would just wear sensible hiking clothes and share his water bottle and food with every hungry/thirsty pilgrim he meets ;-) Buen Camino, SY

 

[Deacon Jason]

I guess the current Holy Father would just wear sensible hiking clothes and share his water bottle and food with every hungry/thirsty pilgrim he meets ;-) Buen Camino, SY

I think you are right on the mark. He had a habit, apparently, in Argentina of walking around in his simple priest's cassock and shoes with holes in the bottom (he was too busy to worry about them).

Grace+Peace

-Jason

 

[Kanga]

Great thread. "Helping pilgrims" by keeping us laughing. Which, after all, is one of the delightful aspects of walking the Camino in community.

 

[Smallest_Sparrow]

I think we often see admonishments "did you search for this topic?" So adding to old posts may not help the OP, but will still be of some use to others searching topics. In addition to the fact that you can change privately in bathrooms, pilgrims generally sleep in the clothes they will walk in the next day. So this will be kind of like falling asleep at the airport. But with a less comfortable sleeping surface and more noise. While not a large sample, every church-associated and some municipal albergues I stayed at had bathrooms segregated by gender. Those that didn't had showers inside a changing cubical with a lockable door, or several small home-like bathrooms with single shower and toilet and lockable door. Sometimes the impression is given on posts that the Camino is one step above a nudist colony. Some folks are very free and those are the ones we tell stories about--but I saw more modest vs exhibitionist behavior overall. No one should worry they will need to book hotels.