A camino trick (how to know if your company is appreciated)

[Damien Reynolds]

Ok, so on this forum we are all so jazzed up about learning about each other, chatting, growing, etc.

On the Camino I've been exposed to so many different people, and I must admit, some of them I am interested to learn more about, some I am not.

On occasion, I have come across particular peregrinos who I want to hang out with more. Most likely they speak my language. Most likely they smile. Most likely they have a unique story about why they are walking the camino and it is interesting.

Sometimes they are not so interesting and I would rather be alone.

Now, when I have met someone that I consider interesting, it worries me that maybe, just maybe, they would rather be left alone, and I would hate to burden them with my presence.

And hence, I came up with this test to make sure I am not overstepping my welcome:

STOP, BEND OVER, AND TIE YOUR SHOES.

If they keep walking without noticing, your best course is slip away without pursuing the conversation any more.

If they stop, and wait for you...

KEEP TALKING.

 

[MichaelSG]

... but how do your shoe laces know when they are supposed to come undone?

Your scheme might be a useful indicator but it won't work all the time. With my wife and I, once we are walking we like to keep going unless food is involved. If either of us stops to tie our shoes (or something similar that does not require the other's help), then the person tying the shoe is expected to catch up to the other person who hasn't stopped. And I am pretty sure neither of us is trying to ditch the other (at least I hope not )

 

[Tia Valeria]

Frequent stopping to tighten boot laces was a feature of my first Camino and we always waited for one another. Hopefully this time the laces will have pre-stretched before we leave home. We tied the laces through the lowest 2 eyelets and hung the new boots up over a few days to take the stretch out. We are still having to stop on training walks about every 3kms, with our new boots , but it sounds a great idea for the Camino if meeting up with other pilgrims.

 

[Chacharm]

This reminds me of a young man in his late 20s who was walking with my son. My son told me later that he thought he must have been boring the guy to tears because he suddenly said, "See you later! I have to go see a man about a horse!" and loped off. In Texas saying that means you have to pee - but he never saw him again.
In Santiago we ran into the guy again and it turned out he had actually gone to see a man about a horse (with disastrous results).

 

[williamlittig]

This reminds me of a young man in his late 20s who was walking with my son. My son told me later that he thought he must have been boring the guy to tears because he suddenly said, "See you later! I have to go see a man about a horse!" and loped off. In Texas saying that means you have to pee - but he never saw him again.
In Santiago we ran into the guy again and it turned out he had actually gone to see a man about a horse (with disastrous results).

I have BOA closures on my shoes. I can tighten and loosen them without bending over (one foot at a time) they won't become untied and being the first out in the morning I don't bother others with my shoe ceremony. As for testing others while walking, excusing one's self to walk alone ,faster or slower should be easily expressed without being rude or misinterpreted...... Buen Camino...... Willy, Utah

 

[Sore Neculai]

or u can simply say that u want to take a 15 min break(not too much ,not too little)...and also ASK if he/she wants take the break with u or as he/she pleases(maybe continue to walk)?!.

if he/she enjoys your company , will for sure take a short break...if not that much(or simply wants to be in that day alone); probably will end up saying "I would rather continue walking...we meet MAYBE later on the road or in the albergue"


at least that´s what i would do

 

[Mark Lee]

Just stop and take a short break and tell the person maybe you will see them down the road.
Easy enough. No need to make up a lie and pretend like you are lacing up shoes.

 

[Damien Reynolds]

Mark, you must have misunderstood my post. I was writing about a way to confirm that a fellow peregrino wants to walk with ME, not about how to get rid of someone I didn't want to walk with. It was a fun happy post, I would never be so mean spirited to write about how to get rid of someone.

 

[neverlost4good]

Ok, so on this forum we are all so jazzed up about learning about each other, chatting, growing, etc.

On the Camino I've been exposed to so many different people, and I must admit, some of them I am interested to learn more about, some I am not.

On occasion, I have come across particular peregrinos who I want to hang out with more. Most likely they speak my language. Most likely they smile. Most likely they have a unique story about why they are walking the camino and it is interesting.

Sometimes they are not so interesting and I would rather be alone.

Now, when I have met someone that I consider interesting, it worries me that maybe, just maybe, they would rather be left alone, and I would hate to burden them with my presence.

And hence, I came up with this test to make sure I am not overstepping my welcome:

STOP, BEND OVER, AND TIE YOUR SHOES.

If they keep walking without noticing, your best course is slip away without pursuing the conversation any more.

If they stop, and wait for you...

KEEP TALKING.

Thanks!

 

[rometimed]

3 words: Headphones into ears

 

[Mark Lee]

Mark, you must have misunderstood my post. I was writing about a way to confirm that a fellow peregrino wants to walk with ME, not about how to get rid of someone I didn't want to walk with. It was a fun happy post, I would never be so mean spirited to write about how to get rid of someone.

gotcha.....I stand corrected
still, I suppose taking a short break would also confirm if someone wants to continue walking with you

 

[jumpingin2014]

My intuition tells me to stop talking and I reckon if the person wants be alone the conversation is over - or they will start talking and the conversation carries on. Either way I think it's good we at least recognize another person wants something different then what we do. That's my spin on this.

Mark

 

[KerrieG]

Love it!

 

[Damien Reynolds]

This is a horrible thread . The Camino is about the Other, ( see Hegel's Constitutive Other)....... and not about the Self.

Ummm... Read it again.

 

[C clearly]

Oddly, I don't think it is horrible at all to be thinking that way. Guess I've never longed to be a free spirit.

 

[Damien Reynolds]

Hi Damian. I am not saying that what you say is horrible........... your comment is very nice actually, but it is horrible that we have to think in such a way, without true Freedom of the spirit.
Rock on !

Ok, truth of the matter is I came up with this test and theory by accident when I was chatting up a peregrinA who was quite attractive... My shoelace actually failed and I stopped to tie it. When she stopped too I was blown away... Wow... This girl wants to talk... Later on I told others on the camino the story and they laughed and liked it so I thought I'd share it here.

 

[Kiwi-family]

Damien
Clearly some people have heard your intent and others have missed it entirely....I suspect if your attractive peregrina story had been embedded in your original post there would have been less confusion. Unfortunately it seems some people may have been alienated enough to not return to this thread to find your explanation.
I appreciate that you were considering others and not wanting to be a burden on them - I found myself doing the same. People would often stop to walk with our crew, but because I didn't want them to feel like they had to stay with us all day because we walked a few km together, at an appropriate time I would ask them if they were happy with our slow pace (or ask if they would mind if we stepped up the pace) - sometimes they stayed with us and other times they powered off. Simple communication works - but I still think your story is funny!

By the way, one day from our last camino springs to mind when I think about to walk or not to walk with someone - here 'tis
https://charitywalking.wordpress.com/2014/06/21/20-june-a-fonsagrada-to-castroverde/

 

[Stivandrer]

One of my friends early on the route, gave it to me early one morning when I was chirping along near Castrojeriz;-" I am sorry but the first hour of the morning, I am talking to my God".
Point taken, I took off and we met againg later, dining, discussing and never discussing it again. There is a time and place for everything !!
Thanx for posting, Damien

 

[Camembert]

This reminds me of a young man in his late 20s who was walking with my son. My son told me later that he thought he must have been boring the guy to tears because he suddenly said, "See you later! I have to go see a man about a horse!" and loped off. In Texas saying that means you have to pee - but he never saw him again.
In Santiago we ran into the guy again and it turned out he had actually gone to see a man about a horse (with disastrous results).

Say "sorry, I have to move the (leashed ) goat (to another place where still is fresh grass after she has eaten all where she is at the moment) . This means the same as " I have to go to see a man about a horse " ..in Dutch

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Damien
Clearly some people have heard your intent and others have missed it entirely....I suspect if your attractive peregrina story had been embedded in your original post there would have been less confusion. Unfortunately it seems some people may have been alienated enough to not return to this thread to find your explanation.
I appreciate that you were considering others and not wanting to be a burden on them - I found myself doing the same. People would often stop to walk with our crew, but because I didn't want them to feel like they had to stay with us all day because we walked a few km together, at an appropriate time I would ask them if they were happy with our slow pace (or ask if they would mind if we stepped up the pace) - sometimes they stayed with us and other times they powered off. Simple communication works - but I still think your story is funny!

By the way, one day from our last camino springs to mind when I think about to walk or not to walk with someone - here 'tis
https://charitywalking.wordpress.com/2014/06/21/20-june-a-fonsagrada-to-castroverde/

Great post! I enjoy your writing and photographs.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Mark, you must have misunderstood my post. I was writing about a way to confirm that a fellow peregrino wants to walk with ME, not about how to get rid of someone I didn't want to walk with. It was a fun happy post, I would never be so mean spirited to write about how to get rid of someone.

I totally understood your post the first time around: whether or not you want to be with them, do THEY want to be with YOU? And people can be very accommodating and not at all transparent, but you gotta know! I do hope that you don't think that just because a peregrina is good-looking there is an attraction, though Sometimes we women harbor the illusion that we truly can be just friends with men

 

[Chacharm]

Honestly, the OP here was very, very clear. He said he worried sometimes that he might be a burden to another pilgrim and that THEY (not she, not him) might like a chance to move on. He had come up with this easy little pretense of tightening his shoelaces.
It was cute, it was clearly meant to be amusing and it is an UTTERLY HARMLESS and nice idea.
So naturally people got excited about how dishonest it was and started schooling him on walking etiquette, lace tightening and how to treat women.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Of course "commenting" is quite different than "schooling". I think it's really hard for people to communicate online without inadvertently stepping on someone's feelings, or pressing a "hot button." I never intend any harm, and know that no one else really does either. Or at least I hope not!

 

[bystander]

AugustCaminodeb and Chacharm, I am totally in accord with your comments about Damien's original posting.

How anybody could misread/misunderstand it is quite beyond me.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

I really like Damien, and he is usually both amusing and spot on. People do get excited for no good reason, so I agree with Chacharm too.

 

[Chacharm]

Of course "commenting" is quite different than "schooling". I think it's really hard for people to communicate online without inadvertently stepping on someone's feelings, or pressing a "hot button." I never intend any harm, and know that no one else really does either. Or at least I hope not!

I didn't mean you, specifically. No worries.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

I love ya, Chacharm! No worries, my good mate.

 

[david g]

Crazy how things can get taken the wrong way. So let's keep moving in a positive way, maybe hold hands and sing Kumbaya or something.

 

[Mark Lee]

Ok, truth of the matter is I came up with this test and theory by accident when I was chatting up a peregrinA who was quite attractive... My shoelace actually failed and I stopped to tie it. When she stopped too I was blown away... Wow... This girl wants to talk... Later on I told others on the camino the story and they laughed and liked it so I thought I'd share it here.

lucky......

 

[Lynda t]

What's the hurry?

 

[rometimed]

Damien
Clearly some people have heard your intent and others have missed it entirely....I suspect if your attractive peregrina story had been embedded in your original post there would have been less confusion. Unfortunately it seems some people may have been alienated enough to not return to this thread to find your explanation.
I appreciate that you were considering others and not wanting to be a burden on them - I found myself doing the same. People would often stop to walk with our crew, but because I didn't want them to feel like they had to stay with us all day because we walked a few km together, at an appropriate time I would ask them if they were happy with our slow pace (or ask if they would mind if we stepped up the pace) - sometimes they stayed with us and other times they powered off. Simple communication works - but I still think your story is funny!

By the way, one day from our last camino springs to mind when I think about to walk or not to walk with someone - here 'tis
https://charitywalking.wordpress.com/2014/06/21/20-june-a-fonsagrada-to-castroverde/

As long as you stop when she ties her shoes.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

As long as you stop when she ties her shoes.

How about if Damien ties her shoes for her? Yeah!!

 

[rometimed]

How about if Damien ties her shoes for her? Yeah!!

Is that how people get engaged on the Camino? By tying each other's shoes? D:

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Crazy how things can get taken the wrong way. So let's keep moving in a positive way, maybe hold hands and sing Kumbaya or something.

David!!

Someone's snoring, Lord
Kum ba yah
Someone's snoring, Lord
Kum ba yah
Someone's snoring, Lord
Kum ba jahhhhhhhh.....

Oh, Lord, Kum ba yah......

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Is that how people get engaged on the Camino? By tying each other's shoes? D:

I worry to think so! I'm sure that one look at MY feet after a long walk could be grounds for immediate divorce!! That said, I'm open to foot rubs and I will take care of anyone's feet, gladly, with humility and joy. Seriously, I will take care of you people. I'm down to 54 days left of work...

 

[rometimed]

I worry to think so! I'm sure that one look at MY feet after a long walk could be grounds for immediate divorce!! That said, I'm open to foot rubs and I will take care of anyone's feet, gladly, with humility and joy. Seriously, I will take care of you people. I'm down to 54 days left of work...

27 or so for me! At least until I work again next year... bleh.

 

[Damien Reynolds]

By the way, one day from our last camino springs to mind when I think about to walk or not to walk with someone - here 'tis
https://charitywalking.wordpress.com/2014/06/21/20-june-a-fonsagrada-to-castroverde/

Nice story and your blog is an inspiration.

Damien

 

[bystander]

How about if Damien ties her shoes for her? Yeah!!

and then rometimed in reply:
"Is that how people get engaged on the Camino? By tying each other's shoes?"

Lord help us - where will it end?

The Camino as a three-legged-race?!

 

[Bernard duffy]

I was having a nice quiet drink by myself in a cafe but made the fatal mistake of singing a Gordon Lightfoot song to myself,headphones on(after a few beers)and suddenly found myself surrounded by Canadians,the rest of my Camino was full of Canadians asking me to sing,my back was sore tying my laces

 

[Canuck]

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!! How to know, how to REALLY know!!!

 

[Sheffield James]

I met an older, American guy briefly in SJPdP, and when we crossed paths in Los Arcos a few days later we agreed to spend the following day walking together. The conversation was good as we walked along the route, but a couple of hours into the day I fell just a few paces behind him as we climbed a short, steep incline. At this precise moment, the orange I had in my pocket dislodged itself and rolled back down the hill. By the time I'd retrieved it - yes, it was worth the effort - my friend, who was unaware of my plight, had continued ahead and was completely out of view. Several days later we met up again and it was a great relief to him (and me) to establish that my disappearance was not simply a case of me trying to escape his company. Two years later, we are still in contact.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

I was having a nice quiet drink by myself in a cafe but made the fatal mistake of singing a Gordon Lightfoot song to myself,headphones on(after a few beers)and suddenly found myself surrounded by Canadians,the rest of my Camino was full of Canadians asking me to sing,my back was sore tying my laces

Was it "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" or "Sundown"?

 

[Bernard duffy]

Was it "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" or "Sundown"?

If you could read my mind

 

[CaminoDebrita]

If you could read my mind

I love that song....."what a tale my thoughts would tell...."

 

[Dash]

Once when walking the Camino I met this awesome girl from Canada. Our conversation was fun, witty and self sardonic. We took a stop and both used the restroom. When I got out I seen her floppy hat heading way down the trail. I thought oh geesh she must of thought I left because she's walking really fast to catch me. So I double timed it to try to catch her but damn she was flying in those nicely fitted hiking pants and that Osprey pack she liked so much. It was to big of gap to close at that pace so figured I catch her when she stops. For the next 15K ! I started to doubt my enjoyable experience and even questioned whether it was mutual. I had plenty of time to go back and re-think our two hour conversation. Did I say something stupid? Did I offend my new friend? WHATS WRONG WITH ME !

After about three hours she was finally slowing down. Now I am walking with some Australians and I explained my plight and they encouraged me to close that gap. So I sheepishly pick up the pace; she glances behind and sees me and ducked into an albergue. Now I got two decisions. One keep walking (it's been a long day); two go in and say hi (awkward). So there I was standing outside trying to figure out if I am a man or a mouse. After a long three minutes I go in and with a big smile she turns my way and says buen camino. I looked up at that floppy hat those nice fitting hiking pants and of course that osprey pack and realized I'd been chasing the wrong girl for over three hours. Sad to say never ran into my Canadian friend again.



Stop bend over and tie your shoes.

 

[rometimed]

Once when walking the Camino I met this awesome girl from Canada. Our conversation was fun, witty and self sardonic. We took a stop and both used the restroom. When I got out I seen her floppy hat heading way down the trail. I thought oh geesh she must of thought I left because she's walking really fast to catch me. So I double timed it to try to catch her but damn she was flying in those nicely fitted hiking pants and that Osprey pack she liked so much. It was to big of gap to close at that pace so figured I catch her when she stops. For the next 15K ! I started to doubt my enjoyable experience and even questioned whether it was mutual. I had plenty of time to go back and rethink our two hour conversation. Did I say something stupid? Did I offend my new friend? WHATS WRONG WITH ME !

After about three hours she was finally slowing sown. Now I am walking with some Australians and explained my plight and they encouraged me to close that gap. So I sheepishly pick up the pace; she glances behind and sees me and ducks into an albergue. Now I got two decisions. One keep walking (it's been a long day); two go in and say hi (awkward). So there I was standing outside trying to figure out if I am a man or a mouse. After a long three minutes I go in and with a big smile she turns my way and says buen camino. I looked up at that floppy hat those nice fitting hiking pants and of course that osprey pack and realized I'd been chasing the wrong girl for over three hours. Sad to say never ran into my Canadian friend again.



Stop bend over and tie your shoes.

Women from up here are slippery! They just vanish! D:

 

[Damien Reynolds]

Once when walking the Camino I met this awesome girl from Canada.

Bummer, seriously. I can only imagine the girl you were actually talking to wondering, "Where did he go?"

A simple shoelace dance would have prevented any confusion.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

You young men are so amusing

 

[Jacobus]

I'm thinking your Canadian lady friend gave up chasing you along the Camino when you were chasing floppy hat lady!

 

[tpmchugh]

Ok, so on this forum we are all so jazzed up about learning about each other, chatting, growing, etc.

On the Camino I've been exposed to so many different people, and I must admit, some of them I am interested to learn more about, some I am not.

On occasion, I have come across particular peregrinos who I want to hang out with more. Most likely they speak my language. Most likely they smile. Most likely they have a unique story about why they are walking the camino and it is interesting.

Sometimes they are not so interesting and I would rather be alone.

Now, when I have met someone that I consider interesting, it worries me that maybe, just maybe, they would rather be left alone, and I would hate to burden them with my presence.

And hence, I came up with this test to make sure I am not overstepping my welcome:

STOP, BEND OVER, AND TIE YOUR SHOES.

If they keep walking without noticing, your best course is slip away without pursuing the conversation any more.

If they stop, and wait for you...

KEEP TALKING.

I dont have the problem. I walk so slowly, I fully understand when people walk on and I can blame my slow progress rather than think I am boring others. However, since it has been said if talking was an olympic sport, I could win gold for Ireland, maybe then, I am boring the pants off everyone else. But then I still hide behind my slow walking

 

[Adhemar78]

If someone walks on when you stop it doesn't necessarily mean that they didn't enjoy your company. There were times I walked ahead of people and it wasn't because I hadn't been enjoying talking to them, my pace was just different to theirs. There were times where people went on ahead of me too after we had enjoyed a conversation. Everyone just has their own pace - it's something you become accustomed to.

 

[MoniRose]

Walking into Castrojeriz I caught up with the pilgrim ahead of me. I said hello and introduced myself. She gave an abrupt "hello" in response. I asked where she was from. Again, an abrupt "Poland" and never once turned to look at me. I took the hint, wished her "Buen Camino" and walked on.
The next day, she and I found ourselves at the same table enjoying an afternoon of conversation. I mentioned the previous day's interaction (or lack of). She told me she has just before I had arrived she had decided she didn't want to have any conversations and she wasn't going to feel bad about it. I laughed and told her that, right before seeing her, I had decided I was going to try to be more engaging with people, yet if they didn't want to, I wasn't going to take it personally.
The Camino put us together so we could both grow. The Camino always provides.

 

[Damien Reynolds]

Hi friends. So I skipped 2017 to do some hiking locally, but I am back b/c the Camino calls again. So funny this post still gets play! I got a “like” today!

2018 I am thinking Primitivo + Fin & Mux or San Salvador + Prim.

 

[John H.]

Ok, truth of the matter is I came up with this test and theory by accident when I was chatting up a peregrinA who was quite attractive... My shoelace actually failed and I stopped to tie it. When she stopped too I was blown away... Wow... This girl wants to talk... Later on I told others on the camino the story and they laughed and liked it so I thought I'd share it here.

LOL! Love it!