a warning and a Request

[Calisteve]

The warning...last June I walked the Camino from St Jean to Santiago in 22 1/2 days. All along the way I met people doing it for the second, third, fourth time and said - "there's no way I'm doing this again - I'm glad I'm doing it but once is enough" . Then after about 3 weeks of finishing the voice in my head started suggesting that maybe, just maybe it might be nice to re-visit some of the fantastic places along the Way some day. So I'll be walking the Camino again this July. So the warning to first timers - be careful, it can be addictive.

The request...this time I'm bringing my 14 year old son. I think it will be a real eye opener for him. Any advice from those who have walked with children/young adults?

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Try to not be the parent!! If it is not dangerous, keep silent. A constant stream of advice may not be what he wants to hear. Let him go at his own pace; don't make it a contest with him. He should finish feeling he is a winner. Have fun. Avoid misery.

 

[Calisteve]

Sound advice - many thanks. Will (try) to leave the parent at home.

 

[Ralph Keith Redhead]

The warning...last June I walked the Camino from St Jean to Santiago in 22 1/2 days. All along the way I met people doing it for the second, third, fourth time and said - "there's no way I'm doing this again - I'm glad I'm doing it but once is enough" . Then after about 3 weeks of finishing the voice in my head started suggesting that maybe, just maybe it might be nice to re-visit some of the fantastic places along the Way some day. So I'll be walking the Camino again this July. So the warning to first timers - be careful, it can be addictive.

The request...this time I'm bringing my 14 year old son. I think it will be a real eye opener for him. Any advice from those who have walked with children/young adults?

We all have to find our own Camino - some start as good friends then learn that perhaps they are not so well matched (from my experience), others start alone and make life-long friends and aquiantances. It's his Camino, and yours, let him live it and explore himself, his experiences, no matter how some things may irritate you both. You may learn a lot about one another and others, and are allowed to make mistakes or have difficult times - there are a lot more fantastic things to experience than bad, as you know- He sounds fortunate to have a mother/father encouraging him to go, and you too for having a son that will venture forth with you. He'll go again when he's older, and relive the good memories of his Camino with you. Good luck and Buen Camino

 

[VNwalking]

Lots of people here have walked with kids of various ages.
Not being a parent myself I have no advice at all. But here are some funny stories by Gerard about walking with teens (though mostly the joke is on him...):
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/lazarus-rising.33900/
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/jefferson-maker-of-memories.36085/
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/in-logrono…-where-i-found-jesus.30344/

 

[Penny Kingma]

You did it in 22.5 days the first time. I would suggest go slower....take time to truly breathe. I did it in 35 with two rest days and it still felt too fast.
A wonderful experience for both you and your son

 

[MileHighPair]

This sounds like it will be a great trip for the two of you. None of us know you or your son, but 22.5 days seems way too fast for any 14 year old. "Slow down" would be my only suggestion.

 

[marilyn van graan]

The warning...last June I walked the Camino from St Jean to Santiago in 22 1/2 days. All along the way I met people doing it for the second, third, fourth time and said - "there's no way I'm doing this again - I'm glad I'm doing it but once is enough" . Then after about 3 weeks of finishing the voice in my head started suggesting that maybe, just maybe it might be nice to re-visit some of the fantastic places along the Way some day. So I'll be walking the Camino again this July. So the warning to first timers - be careful, it can be addictive.

The request...this time I'm bringing my 14 year old son. I think it will be a real eye opener for him. Any advice from those who have walked with children/young adults?

These are my sentiments exactly - here I am now starting my 5th camino in 6 weeks time and already more than 4000km done and itching to get onto the paths again - been camino

 

[Kiwi-family]

Rest whenever he needs to - but don't be surprised if he's the one forging ahead while you beg for a break.
Let him be an adult - carry his own gear, wash his own clothes, find his own amusement. Send him out to (find) the tienda or supermercado to buy food.
Enjoy yourselves.

 

[kelleymac]

This sounds like it will be a great trip for the two of you. None of us know you or your son, but 22.5 days seems way too fast for any 14 year old. "Slow down" would be my only suggestion.

I walked with my 14 yo son, and then again when he was 15. I had to speed up. He was focused more on walking as quickly and as far as possible in one day.

 

[kelleymac]

The warning...last June I walked the Camino from St Jean to Santiago in 22 1/2 days. All along the way I met people doing it for the second, third, fourth time and said - "there's no way I'm doing this again - I'm glad I'm doing it but once is enough" . Then after about 3 weeks of finishing the voice in my head started suggesting that maybe, just maybe it might be nice to re-visit some of the fantastic places along the Way some day. So I'll be walking the Camino again this July. So the warning to first timers - be careful, it can be addictive.

The request...this time I'm bringing my 14 year old son. I think it will be a real eye opener for him. Any advice from those who have walked with children/young adults?

I walked with my 14yo son (from Leon to Santiago) in early Spring 2015, and then again when he was 15 yo (from SJPP to Burgos). I let him walk ahead. We ate a lot of chocolate. We seemed to be getting into arguments daily at about 3pm-- the arguing lessened when I took motrin at about 1pm, and he ate more. I had to remind myself that he would be hungrier than I would be. He was more interested in getting the miles in, and did not want to stop to look at anything-- that was frustrating for me. He also did not know how to respond to adults who talked with him in the evenings; he is shy in general. So we practiced while we walked on how to talk with well meaning grown ups. -- There was a group of German young men, who were fast walkers who would give a big "hurrah" to him when ever we caught up to them.

 

[kelleymac]

The warning...last June I walked the Camino from St Jean to Santiago in 22 1/2 days. All along the way I met people doing it for the second, third, fourth time and said - "there's no way I'm doing this again - I'm glad I'm doing it but once is enough" . Then after about 3 weeks of finishing the voice in my head started suggesting that maybe, just maybe it might be nice to re-visit some of the fantastic places along the Way some day. So I'll be walking the Camino again this July. So the warning to first timers - be careful, it can be addictive.

The request...this time I'm bringing my 14 year old son. I think it will be a real eye opener for him. Any advice from those who have walked with children/young adults?

You may want to look at the thread
Camino Ingles in April, should I take my 14 year old?

 

[LaurieElizabeth]

Hi, I am taking my 13 yo daughter in June. Maybe will we see you on the trail. Question. Are you staying in albegues or in hotels? I'm a little concerned about the lack of privacy for in the hostels but I guess she will just have to adjust.

 

[kelleymac]

Hi, I am taking my 13 yo daughter in June. Maybe will we see you on the trail. Question. Are you staying in albegues or in hotels? I'm a little concerned about the lack of privacy for in the hostels but I guess she will just have to adjust.

I was a little worried about the lack of privacy too-- and worried that there would be more partying going on and possible intimate couples. (I had run into that at independent youth hostels in my younger days.) But it's not like that. I found people respectful, helpful, courteous and tired. People look the other way when people are changing. Or you can use the bathroom to change if you're really modest.

 

[HedaP]

Hi @Calisteve, your warning is way too late. From memory my exact words at the end of my first camino were; "Shoot me if I ever tell you I am going to walk this again."
Starting my second camino in a few weeks. If I was fortunate enough to have a 14 year old I'd be taking them with me too.
Buen camino to you and your son.

 

[gerardcarey]

In addition to the above I would suggest that if he comes across another, or a group of teenagers, let him walk with them for a day. Slip him 10 euros and organise the place where you will meet to stay the night. Tell him you'd just like to walk a day on your own.
Regards
Gerard

 

[Chris Henderson]

I am walking with my 14 ye old daughter in 3 weeks. From St Jean to Santiago will keep you posted how we go.

The warning...last June I walked the Camino from St Jean to Santiago in 22 1/2 days. All along the way I met people doing it for the second, third, fourth time and said - "there's no way I'm doing this again - I'm glad I'm doing it but once is enough" . Then after about 3 weeks of finishing the voice in my head started suggesting that maybe, just maybe it might be nice to re-visit some of the fantastic places along the Way some day. So I'll be walking the Camino again this July. So the warning to first timers - be careful, it can be addictive.

The request...this time I'm bringing my 14 year old son. I think it will be a real eye opener for him. Any advice from those who have walked with children/young adults?[/

 

[NewBeginning]

I walked with my 14yo son (from Leon to Santiago) in early Spring 2015, and then again when he was 15 yo (from SJPP to Burgos). I let him walk ahead. We ate a lot of chocolate. We seemed to be getting into arguments daily at about 3pm-- the arguing lessoned when I took motrin at about 1pm, and he ate more. I had to remind myself that he would be hungrier than I would be. He was more interested in getting the miles in, and did not want to stop to look at anything-- that was frustrating for me. He also did not know how to respond to adults who talked with him in the evenings; he is shy in general. So we practiced while we walked on how to talk with well meaning grown ups. -- There was a group of German young men, who were fast walkers who would give a big "hurrah" to him when ever we caught up to them.

Wow. Great lesson there about self care. Especially men are too often taught from boyhood to suck it up and not pander to physical needs. I taught basic water fitness classes to a lot of people in the 60-90 yr old range for 14 yrs in a therapy pool. There were so rarely men who came out to look after their health and that sad habit starts young. He gets to learn and have daily reinforcement of the value/improved quality of life by paying attention to your bodies and their needs. That will serve him for life.

 

[bunnymac]

The warning...last June I walked the Camino from St Jean to Santiago in 22 1/2 days. All along the way I met people doing it for the second, third, fourth time and said - "there's no way I'm doing this again - I'm glad I'm doing it but once is enough" . Then after about 3 weeks of finishing the voice in my head started suggesting that maybe, just maybe it might be nice to re-visit some of the fantastic places along the Way some day. So I'll be walking the Camino again this July. So the warning to first timers - be careful, it can be addictive.

The request...this time I'm bringing my 14 year old son. I think it will be a real eye opener for him. Any advice from those who have walked with children/young adults?

I walked last August with my two daughters (then 12 & 14). I made a huge error in pack weight. My youngest daughter only weighs about 43kgs so one tenth of her body weight is not a lot of kit. My other daughter weighs about 10kgs more. The upshot was that ended up carrying the lion's share, sometimes up to 10kgs with water for three people (I weigh 65 kgs - so way more than 10% of my body weight) I would also say be very aware of their pace and adjust any plans accordingly and don't be too rigid in your planning. We took 30 days (we bussed about 100kms). Often we didn't walk together and every so often the lead walker would wait up until the others caught up. They were the main issues we encountered. That said, we enjoyed the experience immensely and hope to take two weeks in the Camino del Norte this year. We still say that we didn't walk our way along the camino, but that we laughed our way. If you think of any other specific questions, please feel free to private message me.

 

[bunnymac]

Hi, I am taking my 13 yo daughter in June. Maybe will we see you on the trail. Question. Are you staying in albegues or in hotels? I'm a little concerned about the lack of privacy for in the hostels but I guess she will just have to adjust.

I took my two teenage daughters last year. There is enough privacy in the albergues. Although we did take a hotel room about once per week.

 

[Calisteve]

Many many thanks to all for the posts. What I take from all of this is:

1. Re pace - be flexible. Absolutely - I set out last year 'planning' (I thought I was planning but there are too many unknowns) on 30 days and ended up walking quicker because it suited me (and there were plenty walking a lot faster - including a 70 year old from Belguim - respect). This time we'll need to adjust the pace to suit both of us and I'm not starting with any target - we'll book the return flights when we're ready.
2. Huge benefits to him in sense of achievement, real world experience and taking greater responsibility for himself (food, clothes washing etc). At the same time boredom might be a factor - but he'll have his i-pod so that should help.
3. Re privacy in the albergues. Not really an issue for me last year, but after the first week I mixed them with hostales/hotels because I really liked being able to have my own room. Just a personal choice - the price of course (aside from the euros) is some loss of the community spirit at the albergues. But I'm a vegetarian so most of the meals weren't an option for me (although there were exceptions e.g. La Casa Magica).

LaurieElizabeth - the privacy issue/non-issue is really a personal thing. Some enjoy the albergue experience, others less so. There's a trade off between personal privacy and community spirit. That's fine. I walked (actually I tried to keep up with) a mum and daughter from South Africa - they stayed in hotels partly because of the privacy issue I believe. But it really is a personal choice (depending also on budget of course).

HedaP - absolutely - there was no way on this planet I'd do it again...and then 'never' became 'what if', then 'maybe', then 'why not' then 'when'.

Viranani - superb stories from Gerard - so funny they have to be true!

Chris - bien camino & all the best to both of you.

Kelleymac - thanks - I'm feeling a little more optimistic now.

Gerard - great advice and we lived in Brisbane until a couple of years ago (I work for QUT) - beautiful city.

Bunnymac - we're going as light as we can. First lesson from last year was that all that 'what if' stuff you probably won't need and if you do you can buy it on the Camino. That said, we'll probably still end up taking too much stuff!

Many thanks again to all. Hope to see you on the Camino soon.

Steve

 

[Hiawatha]

Slowing down is good advice but how on earth do you do this with a 14 year old nipping at your heels
I vividly remember the day I realised I was no longer a young man , my neighbour's 15 year old son passed me on a mountain slope . As I trudged through two feet of snow plodding along at a snail's pace, he proceeded to flit along the surface like some ethereal Peter Pan . Breathless and exhausted I felt the bitter reality of lost youthful vigour .
Whatever speed you travel at I am sure you will enjoy this precious opportunity to share such an adventure with your child.

 

[Sheffield James]

I know nothing about you and your son, so the only possible general advice I'd offer is to get him do some of the research independently + see/manage his expectations accordingly. Burn Camino!

 

[Saint Mike II]

Without presuming anything about your relationship with your son - I think it will be a great opportunity for you to meet "as equals", only he won't be allowed into some of the bars. Your starting in July (high summer) does concern me - especially if your son wants to walk at your already stated 22.5 day speed. Please - slow down (even just a little).
May I suggest you let him do some research of places he would like to see; places to stay etc. There is more than 12-1500 years of recent Spanish history on the Camino Frances - and even some that goes back 50-250,000 years.
Schools in Spain will be on summer vacation so he may find teenagers he can "hang with" - a good opportunity for cultural exchange. Try to keep him away from the iPod/iPhone/iPad - say half an hour a day max - just to do short posts on his blog to keep his friends at home up to date.
Buen Camino to you both.

 

[Lance Chambers]

I started at SJPdP and met my daughter in Burgos and we walked on to Santiago.

I discovered some good and some not so good points doing this:

It was difficult to have 'alone time' - my fault not hers. Although she is 32yo and I felt I couldn't walk alone and leave her. I'm not sure if you need what I missed and how will/would/could you leave a 14 yo to walk alone if you do need 'you time'? May not be a problem for you, though.

It was the best time I have ever spent with my daughter. I had never, until then, spent 24hrs a day for 4 weeks with her before and probably never will again and I treasure every second of our time together and will never ever forget it.

I hope whatever happens you both have an amazing time - I'm sure you will.

 

[Kiwi-family]

It was difficult to have 'alone time' - my fault not hers. Although she is 32yo and I felt I couldn't walk alone and leave her. I'm not sure if you need what I missed and how will/would/could you leave a 14 yo to walk alone if you do need 'you time'? May not be a problem for you, though.

I have walked as the only adult with four kids a couple of times - the eldest was 14 the second time. I actually got stacks of alone time!! The kids would take off ahead of me, either walking individually or in pairs or all together....or they would walk with other adults. At some of our destinations I could leave them in the albergue while I went out to get food or sometimes they went out looking for food while I stayed back....or they all took off to the local exercise park to play on the equipment because 30+km was just not enough to tire them out;-) We would often sit down at the same time to do our journals too, which was more "alone time" even though we were together.
I had less alone time when Daddy and Grandpa joined us (which was nice in its own way!), and none at all when I walked the Portuguese route with no kids and a hubby!

 

[Calisteve]

Charles - haha - agree totally.
Lance - many thanks.
Saint Mark - 22 1/2 days was last year. As I said, I have no 'target' for this year - will be entirely flexible. Starting in July would not be my first choice but that's when the school holidays start. And re 1/2 an hour a day for the i-pod - I'm afraid I only fight battles worth winning although I'll try negotiating!

 

[Kiwi-family]

And re 1/2 an hour a day for the i-pod - I'm afraid I only fight battles worth winning although I'll try negotiating!

A school group (from three different schools) we met last year banned all technology while walking each day. At first the kids moaned (apparently), but then they all came to appreciate the rule and some of them commented that they wer eusing their phones less in the rest of the day as a result of getting used to not being on them all the time. This was a wonderful freedom.
I found leaving i-pods at home was the easiest way to limit their use ;-) (I almost caved because we had a 36 hour trip to get to Spain, but I'm glad I didn't!)
When Daddy came over for the middle couple of weeks of our walks, he brought technology and it changed the dynamic. Kids wanted to listen to music while we walked, they wanted to play games in the evening. I was glad to see the little box of distraction go when hubby did!

 

[Penny Kingma]

I love hiking trails in Northern Ontario Canada with my family. The hardest thing as they got older was teaching them it's not a race. The main objective is NOT the finish line. It's each step, view and person you meet along the journey. Encourage him to take it all in...there's no ribbon or trophy waiting for getting there first, slowness wins

 

[MelissaKay]

Hi, I am taking my 13 yo daughter in June. Maybe will we see you on the trail. Question. Are you staying in albegues or in hotels? I'm a little concerned about the lack of privacy for in the hostels but I guess she will just have to adjust.

My girls and I are starting in June as well! Hopefully we'll cross paths!