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Search 69,459 Camino Questions

An open heart post seeking support

CaminoSeeker

Member
Time of past OR future Camino
Walking May/June 2019
Hello everyone.

This is my first time on the forum. I am 42 years old. I don't know where to begin.
I walked several Caminos before. My first one was in 2015 Camino Francés. In 2016 the Camino del Norte starting in San Sebastián. In 2017 the Camino Portugués from Lisboa and passing through Camino de Fátima. All ending in Santiago de Compostela.

Since my first Camino, I fell in love with it. It gave me so much joy and peace. It became my goal every year. You all know of course what it feels like walking the Camino, meeting wonderful pilgrims and living an adventure and having all kind of personal and spiritual experiences, learning from others, places to stay or getting lost or having doubts to stop walking or having injuries, walking through beautiful places and wonderful landscapes, etc.

In 2018 I couldn't walk the camino because I had an operation in my back and it felt so bad because the recovery took almost 6 months.

Since my last camino in 2017 I was dreaming about my next one. After my operation and the recovery process, in 2018 around October I started to have moderate depression because of a very bad circumstances that brought me down and I am still struggling with it. It's hard. I have insomnia. I don't see my self as I was before, a happy person, positive energy and courageous, full of love and kindness towards everyone and everything. Life was good.

Now it's all the contrary. I have fears and I project negative thoughts and I don't recognize my self anymore. I tried all my best to get professional help and spiritual help too...

All my past experiences on the Camino are gone! Disappeared! It's like I have never walked the Camino before!

I decided to buy my airplane ticket last month so to start the Camino in May. But I have fears. I don't feel excited! I don't even know how to prepare and pack my things anymore. I need the Camino, I need to walk it. But I am afraid my fellow pilgrims see me sad and suffering. I am afraid I can't walk the distances. I have self-doubts about everything. I want to walk the Camino del Norte and then the Primitivo to SdC. But it's a kinda lonely path to walk perhaps. So I thought about walking the Camino Frances starting from SJPDP because I can meet more people on the way and perhaps it will help me socialize and so. But due to my depression, I am afraid that people will not want to socialize with me because I am sad. It shows. I don't feel confident. I have my doubts and I feel lost.

My hope now relies on the Camino. I hope it can help me get up on my feet again and feel better.

Any advice?! I really do appreciate it. I don't know what to do or which Camino should I choose.
Thank you and Buen Camino!

Faith, Hope & Love.
 
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Welcome to the forum.
Please be gentle with yourself.

Perhaps I can encourage you by telling you two of the most memorable people I have walked with on the camino were sad. One was recovering from his wife's recent suicide, the other was recovering from his husband's death. In both cases our family changed our (admittedly loose) plans in order to be with these people. We had some very authentic conversations.
You might be just the person to make someone else's camino meaningful.
 
Hi,

Imagine not going, imagine afterwards the hard time you would give yourself for not going, imagine all the 'what ifs' and 'what abouts' that would plague your thoughts. If you go and try your best (and that is the most you can do), then at least there will be no future recriminations. At least you tried. You know how it turned out. Never live with a regret. I know from personal experience that it is the things we do not do that cause regret. If we give it a lash and it works out, then brilliant. if we try and things do not work out as we would have liked, then so be it, at least we tried.

As for how far, what to pack, what others will think??? Who gives a shit!!!! You will have all of those answers when you arrive in SDC. And the answers will be totally unimportant. There is a saying that you will find on this forum, 'The Camino Provides'. Well I say go, ALLOW the Camino to Provide and you will have all the help and encouragement you could possibly use to get through this difficult time in your life.

I wish you well. Walk, talk, laugh, live, arrive and then repeat!!!

Good luck with your life and all of your future Caminos.

Aidan
 
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As Kiwi-family says, lots of people who walk the Camino are feeling sad. Many people are walking to deal with grief, and it seems that this exactly is what you're dealing with at the moment. You seem to feel you've lost your previous self. But this is ok. We are constantly changing and growing, and sometimes this change can feel like a "dark night of the soul". We can feel lost and rootless, not knowing what lies ahead. Just know that you are not alone in this experience; in fact I think it happens to everyone who is on a spiritual journey. You might not be the "fun, happy, positive" person you were before, but through this experience you will probably develop a wisdom and strength you did not realise you were capable of. The important thing is not to try and avoid your feelings of sadness, but to acknowledge and honour them, because they are also part of who you are. You are a complex being, and depression can sometimes be an invitation to explore deeper parts of yourself.

More practical advice: at this stage, I wouldn't worry too much about which Camino to walk. I know that when you're feeling overwhelmed, it can be difficult making even the smallest decision. The fact is, the Norte and Frances are only a couple hours from each other, so just book to whatever starting point, and if you've changed your mind by May/June, you can just catch a bus to the other one. It's no biggie. You already know the Frances, but maybe in the meantime you can do a bit of research on the Norte, so you're prepared if that's what you decide. There will definitely be other pilgrims on the Norte in May or June - not the same numbers as the Frances, but probably 30-50 per day on each stage, so more than enough.

Whichever one you choose, remember that most people are focused on their own journeys, and probably dealing with their own issues, so it's not like you're going to "bring them down". And who says you have to be "positive and happy" all the time? Do you expect this of others? It seems like quite a lot of pressure, and I can assure you, nobody else on the Camino is going to expect this of you! As you probably know, the Camino provides a "space" for all sorts of experiences, and the opportunity to share these experiences is one of the things that makes it so special. So don't worry about expectations - your own or others' - no one can predict what's going to happen. Just start walking, and see how it goes.
 
@CaminoSeeker , thank you for this courageous and very real post.
You can't do it wrong. Whatever camino you choose will be another kind of camino, where you have no choice but to be met as you are in this moment - and in doing that you'll find the golden thread of human kindness.
I so loved what @Kiwi-family just said...exactly. On the camino, there is no need to be anyone but who you are, right now. And yes - there may be people who cannot find it in themselves to connect with your sadness. But there will be others who will be willing and able to listen and be inspired by what brings you back to the camino and what keeps you going.
Buen camino, peregrino...ultrea!
And please let us know how you go....
 
@Kiwi-family is absolutely right, first and foremost in asking you to show yourself a little kindness. Beyond that in saying that you'll be far from the only troubled soul on the camino, I myself was deaing with the death of my mother among other things when I first walked a full camino (also incidentally in 2015) and found huge comfort among strangers.

It is perhaps not wise or polite to unburden your troubles on people entirely without invitation but there are so many people who are open to deep conversation and exploration of the human condition along the camino that catharsis is more easily found there than in most other places, at least that was my experience.

I wish you well and the absolute Buenest of Caminos,

Rob.
 
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2001 saw me lose the best part of a vertabra a disc and almost an inch and a quarter in height . Depression is often part of spinal operations , a belated reaction to the eviscerating pain that only one who has experienced it can comprehend . Walk and walk some more , it is how I found the way out from the dark places, I know them well and can feel your pain. Your past Caminos will find you again , they will support you , reassure you and give you strength . It is not a crime to be sad , you don't have to have an acceptable reason for it either . Walk your way to your old self then start a new path .
 
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Thank you for this vulnerable and courageous share. I walked the Camino in late 2016 and I too, was incredibly weighed down by life by the time I got to SJPdP. Though I didnt realize it at the time, I was probably very sad and I didn’t have a lot of bandwidth for others. I just wanted to walk and be with myself but even that was difficult. I wanted to be that happy, jubilant person who was in Spain and yet, I wasn’t. I met some others who were reconciling those same things within themselves and the camino is a great place for exploring those less than perfect aspects of ourselves (or life). I’ve struggled with the exact same things, depression, grieving for my old self. It’s a process for sure and the Camino is amazingly gentle and supportive for times like this.

Who cares what you pack? You already know what you need, you’re probably a pro by now with a few caminos under your belt.
 
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Hello everyone.

This is my first time on the forum. I am 42 years old. I don't know where to begin.
I walked several Caminos before. My first one was in 2015 Camino Francés. In 2016 the Camino del Norte starting in San Sebastián. In 2017 the Camino Portugués from Lisboa and passing through Camino de Fátima. All ending in Santiago de Compostela.

Since my first Camino, I fell in love with it. It gave me so much joy and peace. It became my goal every year. You all know of course what it feels like walking the Camino, meeting wonderful pilgrims and living an adventure and having all kind of personal and spiritual experiences, learning from others, places to stay or getting lost or having doubts to stop walking or having injuries, walking through beautiful places and wonderful landscapes, etc.

In 2018 I couldn't walk the camino because I had an operation in my back and it felt so bad because the recovery took almost 6 months.

Since my last camino in 2017 I was dreaming about my next one. After my operation and the recovery process, in 2018 around October I started to have moderate depression because of a very bad circumstances that brought me down and I am still struggling with it. It's hard. I don't see my self as I was before, a happy person, positive energy and courageous, full of love and kindness towards everyone and everything. Life was good.

Now it's all the contrary. I have fears and I project negative thoughts and I don't recognize my self anymore. I tried all my best to get professional help and spiritual help too...

All my past experiences on the Camino are gone! Disappeared! It's like I have never walked the Camino before!

I decided to buy my airplane ticket last month so to start the Camino in May. But I have fears. I don't feel excited! I don't even know how to prepare and pack my things anymore. I need the Camino, I need to walk it. But I am afraid my fellow pilgrims see me sad and suffering. I am afraid I can't walk the distances. I have self-doubts about everything. I want to walk the Camino del Norte and then the Primitivo to SdC. But it's a kinda lonely path to walk perhaps. So I thought about walking the Camino Frances starting from SJPDP because I can meet more people on the way and perhaps it will help me socialize and so. But due to my depression, I am afraid that people will not want to socialize with me because I am sad. It shows. I have my doubts and I feel lost.

My hope now relies on the Camino. I hope it can help me get up on my feet again and feel better.

Any advice?! I really do appreciate it. I don't know what to do or which Camino should I choose.
Thank you and Buen Camino!

Faith, Hope & Love.
First step: posting your message. Second, believe some (if not all!) of what you read in the replies. Third, pack about 6kg worth of stuff. Fourth? Over to you! Keep posting, you can see that folk are willing for you to step it out! Buen Camino!
 
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I salute your candid post that I am confident will resonate not only with those reading on this forum but will also be a prelude to your encountering gentle support and encouragement from those you will meet on your Camino in May. As you will know from your previous Camino experiences, there is a magic to encounter when sharing the rich experiences that exist and I wish you well in recovering within yourself the joy for life that is to be found in the sharing of the simple yet extraordinary experiences that will occur along your way.

Bon Camino !!
 
Ditto what others said already.

On a practical note, do one of the caminos you already know, but stay in different places. By taking a path already trodden, you will have a sense of where resources are, what's coming up, and you can worry less about the path and focus your energy on smelling the flowers, watching the storks on their nests and feeling. Once you make peace with the universe, your happy shall start to re-emerge.

Buen camino
 
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Hi,

Imagine not going, imagine afterwards the hard time you would give yourself for not going, imagine all the 'what ifs' and 'what abouts' that would plague your thoughts. If you go and try your best (and that is the most you can do), then at least there will be no future recriminations. At least you tried. You know how it turned out. Never live with a regret. I know from personal experience that it is the things we do not do that cause regret. If we give it a lash and it works out, then brilliant. if we try and things do not work out as we would have liked, then so be it, at least we tried.

As for how far, what to pack, what others will think??? Who gives a shit!!!! You will have all of those answers when you arrive in SDC. And the answers will be totally unimportant. There is a saying that you will find on this forum, 'The Camino Provides'. Well I say go, ALLOW the Camino to Provide and you will have all the help and encouragement you could possibly use to get through this difficult time in your life.

I wish you well. Walk, talk, laugh, live, arrive and then repeat!!!

Good luck with your life and all of your future Caminos.

Aidan
Thank you for your valuable replay. 'The Camino Provides', I totally forgot about this saying. Thank you for the reminder. Good luck to you too and wish you all the best. Buen camino
 
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I would go for the Frances. It sounds like you need people around you the most to heal, and the Frances will give you that. It also has the best backpack transporting services that will take the strain off your back for you.

Don't worry about being sad. There isn't a prerequisite to be happy for you to be worth getting to know. Many people are grieving on the camino too, and would actively want the opportunity to connect with people going through similar processes.
 
As Kiwi-family says, lots of people who walk the Camino are feeling sad. Many people are walking to deal with grief, and it seems that this exactly is what you're dealing with at the moment. You seem to feel you've lost your previous self. But this is ok. We are constantly changing and growing, and sometimes this change can feel like a "dark night of the soul". We can feel lost and rootless, not knowing what lies ahead. Just know that you are not alone in this experience; in fact I think it happens to everyone who is on a spiritual journey. You might not be the "fun, happy, positive" person you were before, but through this experience you will probably develop a wisdom and strength you did not realise you were capable of. The important thing is not to try and avoid your feelings of sadness, but to acknowledge and honour them, because they are also part of who you are. You are a complex being, and depression can sometimes be an invitation to explore deeper parts of yourself.

More practical advice: at this stage, I wouldn't worry too much about which Camino to walk. I know that when you're feeling overwhelmed, it can be difficult making even the smallest decision. The fact is, the Norte and Frances are only a couple hours from each other, so just book to whatever starting point, and if you've changed your mind by May/June, you can just catch a bus to the other one. It's no biggie. You already know the Frances, but maybe in the meantime you can do a bit of research on the Norte, so you're prepared if that's what you decide. There will definitely be other pilgrims on the Norte in May or June - not the same numbers as the Frances, but probably 30-50 per day on each stage, so more than enough.

Whichever one you choose, remember that most people are focused on their own journeys, and probably dealing with their own issues, so it's not like you're going to "bring them down". And who says you have to be "positive and happy" all the time? Do you expect this of others? It seems like quite a lot of pressure, and I can assure you, nobody else on the Camino is going to expect this of you! As you probably know, the Camino provides a "space" for all sorts of experiences, and the opportunity to share these experiences is one of the things that makes it so special. So don't worry about expectations - your own or others' - no one can predict what's going to happen. Just start walking, and see how it goes.
Thank you for your valuable replay and for your advice. It is highly appreciated. God bless you. Buen Camino :)
 
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The one from Galicia (the round) and the one from Castilla & Leon. Individually numbered and made by the same people that make the ones you see on your walk.
@CaminoSeeker , thank you for this courageous and very real post.
You can't do it wrong. Whatever camino you choose will be another kind of camino, where you have no choice but to be met as you are in this moment - and in doing that you'll find the golden thread of human kindness.
I so loved what @Kiwi-family just said...exactly. On the camino, there is no need to be anyone but who you are, right now. And yes - there may be people who cannot find it in themselves to connect with your sadness. But there will be others who will be willing and able to listen and be inspired by what brings you back to the camino and what keeps you going.
Buen camino, peregrino...ultrea!
And please let us know how you go....
Thank you dear for your valuable replay and for your support. It is very kind of you and I do appreciate it.
I will let you know of course... Buen camino, hermano, ultrea!
 
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Welcome to the forum.
Please be gentle with yourself.

Perhaps I can encourage you by telling you two of the most memorable people I have walked with on the camino were sad. One was recovering from his wife's recent suicide, the other was recovering from his husband's death. In both cases our family changed our (admittedly loose) plans in order to be with these people. We had some very authentic conversations.
You might be just the person to make someone else's camino meaningful.
Thank you for your welcoming and for your encouragement. I will be gentle with my self...
 
@Kiwi-family is absolutely right, first and foremost in asking you to show yourself a little kindness. Beyond that in saying that you'll be far from the only troubled soul on the camino, I myself was deaing with the death of my mother among other things when I first walked a full camino (also incidentally in 2015) and found huge comfort among strangers.

It is perhaps not wise or polite to unburden your troubles on people entirely without invitation but there are so many people who are open to deep conversation and exploration of the human condition along the camino that catharsis is more easily found there than in most other places, at least that was my experience.

I wish you well and the absolute Buenest of Caminos,

Rob.
Thank you so much brother for your valuable replay and your support. I am sorry to hear about your Mother, may she rest in peace. I hope I will find some comfort. Buenest of Caminos to you too.
 
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2001 saw me lose the best part of a vertabra a disc and almost an inch and a quarter in height . Depression is often part of spinal operations , a belated reaction to the eviscerating pain that only one who has experienced it can comprehend . Walk and walk some more , it is how I found the way out from the dark places, I know them well and can feel your pain. Your past Caminos will find you again , they will support you , reassure you and give you strength . It is not a crime to be sad , you don't have to have an acceptable reason for it either . Walk your way to your old self then start a new path .
Wonderful words Charles. Thank you for your valuable replay and support. Buen camino.
 
Thank you for this vulnerable and courageous share. I walked the Camino in late 2026 and I too, was incredibly weighed down by life by the time I got to SJPdP. Though I didnt realize it at the time, I was probably very sad and I didn’t have a lot of bandwidth for others. I just wanted to walk and be with myself but even that was difficult. I wanted to be that happy, jubilant person who was in Spain and yet, I wasn’t. I met some others who were reconciling those same things within themselves and the camino is a great place for exploring those less than perfect aspects of ourselves (or life). I’ve struggled with the exact same things, depression, grieving for my old self. It’s a process for sure and the Camino is amazingly gentle and supportive for times like this.

Who cares what you pack? You already know what you need, you’re probably a pro by now with a few caminos under your belt.
Thank you my dear for your valuable replay and support. It is very appreciated it. Buen camino.
 
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First step: posting your message. Second, believe some (if not all!) of what you read in the replies. Third, pack about 6kg worth of stuff. Fourth? Over to you! Keep posting, you can see that folk are willing for you to step it out! Buen Camino!
Thank you, my dear, for your valuable replay and for your support. It is highly appreciate it. Buen camino :)
 
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I salute your candid post that I am confident will resonate not only with those reading on this forum but will also be a prelude to your encountering gentle support and encouragement from those you will meet on your Camino in May. As you will know from your previous Camino experiences, there is a magic to encounter when sharing the rich experiences that exist and I wish you well in recovering within yourself the joy for life that is to be found in the sharing of the simple yet extraordinary experiences that will occur along your way.

Bon Camino !!
Thank you my dear for your valuable replay and support. All the best to you as well. Buen camino!
 
Ditto what others said already.

On a practical note, do one of the caminos you already know, but stay in different places. By taking a path already trodden, you will have a sense of where resources are, what's coming up, and you can worry less about the path and focus your energy on smelling the flowers, watching the storks on their nests and feeling. Once you make peace with the universe, your happy shall start to re-emerge.

Buen camino
Wise words. Thank you for your valuable replay and for your advice. It is highly appreciated. Buen camino.
 
I would go for the Frances. It sounds like you need people around you the most to heal, and the Frances will give you that. It also has the best backpack transporting services that will take the strain off your back for you.

Don't worry about being sad. There isn't a prerequisite to be happy for you to be worth getting to know. Many people are grieving on the camino too, and would actively want the opportunity to connect with people going through similar processes.
Thank you Richards for your valuable replay and support. I really do appreciate it. Buen camino.
 
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May the camino be rich with blessings, @CaminoSeeker - wishing you a deeply fruitful journey.
Life may not always deliver what we want, but what we do with that is what matters.
And already you are using this well, by being open, by reaching out and connecting - and by walking, even if there are second thoughts...
Muy buen camino, peregrino.
🙏
 
May the camino be rich with blessings, @CaminoSeeker - wishing you a deeply fruitful journey.
Life may not always deliver what we want, but what we do with that is what matters.
And already you are using this well, by being open, by reaching out and connecting - and by walking, even if there are second thoughts...
Muy buen camino, peregrino.
🙏
Thank you from all my heart, thank you for your noble words and intentions my dear friend. Wish you the same and muy buen camino to you too, dear peregrino. God bless. 🌺
 
Ideal sleeping bag liner whether we want to add a thermal plus to our bag, or if we want to use it alone to sleep in shelters or hostels. Thanks to its mummy shape, it adapts perfectly to our body.

€46,-
Camino Seeker, I think in a small way the Camino has already provided you with some of the answers you seek in the kind and wise words already spoken in the replies to you. Yes in some way once you arrive the Camino will provide again for you, one step at a time, go with the flow. The little pieces of the jig saw will fall into place to help you. You have opened the box and with your honesty invited others to help you find the pieces and help you connect them. Your jig saw is large and complex but so many in their own little way will help you fit this beautiful picture in front of you all together. One piece at a time. Hardest part is finding the corners and I feel you have already found a couple. 👍

I return next week to walk some of the Frances and will concede I’m a little ‘lost’ and trying to find answers for myself but just as much relish the opportunity to in some small way to help others connect a couple of pieces of their jig saws.

Sorry I’m waffling ☺️
Buen Camino
 
Camino Seeker, I think in a small way the Camino has already provided you with some of the answers you seek in the kind and wise words already spoken in the replies to you. Yes in some way once you arrive the Camino will provide again for you, one step at a time, go with the flow. The little pieces of the jig saw will fall into place to help you. You have opened the box and with your honesty invited others to help you find the pieces and help you connect them. Your jig saw is large and complex but so many in their own little way will help you fit this beautiful picture in front of you all together. One piece at a time. Hardest part is finding the corners and I feel you have already found a couple. 👍

I return next week to walk some of the Frances and will concede I’m a little ‘lost’ and trying to find answers for myself but just as much relish the opportunity to in some small way to help others connect a couple of pieces of their jig saws.

Sorry I’m waffling ☺
Buen Camino
Yes, the Camino did provide and I am very grateful for that. Thank you for your valuable replay and for your kind words. I do appreciate it.
Buen Camino :)
 
Ideal sleeping bag liner whether we want to add a thermal plus to our bag, or if we want to use it alone to sleep in shelters or hostels. Thanks to its mummy shape, it adapts perfectly to our body.

€46,-
every day is a fresh start. Just step out and do it. All the past experiences, expectations, feelings, and experiences are just noise now. It is just you and the trail ahead. Shut off the noise and walk.
You’re absolutely right! Thank you so much Rebekah for your valuable replay and for your advice. Buen Camino! 🙏😘
 
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Camino Seeker - I echo what others have said particularly in relation to you already reaching out. You have already started your next Camino! I start for the first time on 18th September so am not talking from experience but you have touched our hearts and I’m sure will do the same with those you meet while on the Camino.
 
Camino Seeker - I echo what others have said particularly in relation to you already reaching out. You have already started your next Camino! I start for the first time on 18th September so am not talking from experience but you have touched our hearts and I’m sure will do the same with those you meet while on the Camino.
I hope so! Thank you my dear for your replay and for your kind words. Wish you all the best for your Camino and may it be fruitful and blessed. Buen camino 🌺
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
I can speak from experience that on my initial Camino which as many I got so much out of. One of the biggest blessings was being there for others when they felt confident enough to confide in me some of their dark thoughts and experiences. More like family to me than friends to this day.

It’s not what you will get from the Camino it’s sometimes what you can give.
You I’m sure with your heartfelt message will have already helped someone else’s future Camino by encouraging them to open up as and when the time is right.,
 
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Perhaps what is missing from your life is as simple as endorphins released from exercise...like walking. Go without expectations and let the Camino unfold for you. You're not the same person now but you are stronger for the adversity. The Camino will show this to you. The walking will help you have more joy but don't measure yourself by past Camino's. You may have to walk shorter stages.

Imagine if the butterfly didn't leave the cocoon. The butterfly might be depressed, confused and deflated. It's hard work to crawl from the cocoon. The butterfly doesn't emerge ready to soar. They emerge weak, have to sit vulnerable for long hours, pumping their wings, before they are ready to fly. In flight surely the butterfly inspires but it is only when they land that their true beauty can be seen.

Pump your wings. Land when you need to rest, eat and sleep. My guess is that while you don't recognize yourself now at the end of your new Camino, you will not recognize yourself either. After all, it's really impossible to go back and capture who we are. Our destiny is to embrace who we become. <3
 
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Perhaps what is missing from your life is as simple as endorphins released from exercise...like walking. Go without expectations and let the Camino unfold for you. You're not the same person now but you are stronger for the adversity. The Camino will show this to you. The walking will help you have more joy but don't measure yourself by past Camino's. You may have to walk shorter stages.

Imagine if the butterfly didn't leave the cocoon. The butterfly might be depressed, confused and deflated. It's hard work to crawl from the cocoon. The butterfly doesn't emerge ready to soar. They emerge weak, have to sit vulnerable for long hours, pumping their wings, before they are ready to fly. In flight surely the butterfly inspires but it is only when they land that their true beauty can be seen.

Pump your wings. Land when you need to rest, eat and sleep. My guess is that while you don't recognize yourself now at the end of your new Camino, you will not recognize yourself either. After all, it's really impossible to go back and capture who we are. Our destiny is to embrace who we become. <3
Amén 🙏 I also have insomnia and it’s making me worried about when I start the Camino. To be able to rest for the next day.
Thank you for your valuable, kind and wise words Lizlane.
 
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I can speak from experience that on my initial Camino which as many I got so much out of. One of the biggest blessings was being there for others when they felt confident enough to confide in me some of their dark thoughts and experiences. More like family to me than friends to this day.

It’s not what you will get from the Camino it’s sometimes what you can give.
You I’m sure with your heartfelt message will have already helped someone else’s future Camino by encouraging them to open up as and when the time is right.,
I hope I can be of good help to others
 
Hi Sunflower,
Practice self care. Train so you can meditate. May some mindful stress reduction help you? Check the exercises for PTSD out. Evan it’s not up your alley they are realy good. I think what you going through is totally normal and understandable reaction. It’s ok to be sad or lost or lonely or angry or yellow striped with purple dot. For me my first Camino was literally a life safer. So just walk and the rest will come. And fall in place.
Bon Camino and know you are incredible strong.
 
Hi CaminoSeeker, the Camino calls you. I can hear it clearly and I am sure you too. Thinking and now writing about is the start. Book your ticket, use a simple Camino pack list and start. One step after another. Follow the yellow arrows. Lots of pilgrims have or have had hard times in their life and the Camino is no party mile. I personally think the Camino Frances would help most in your situation. Be in the flow of the pilgrims and let your soul heal.
Sorry for my English, I am German but I felt I should write some words for you.
Bon Camino - be sure the Camino provides what you most need.
Ultreia
 
Join our full-service guided tour and let us convert you into a Pampered Pilgrim!
I feel your fear and sadness and wish you healing where ever you are

Perhaps the you that will step on the Camino path will be a different person than the one you came to depend on in your previous Caminos: the confidence, the fore knowledge, the expectation that your KNOW what your body does while on Camino, you know what to expect may now seem all different.

There is a new you who has been injured and it may seem all uncertain for you. Perhaps if you can let go of the expectations of yourself based on past Caminos, and enter this journey, open to differences in you and the journey, you may find you reach a new level of understanding yourself

I had to let go of expectations of what mountain climbing meant to me, and who I was as a climber/ hiker when my altitude sickness became unsafe for climbing. I fought it because i wanted to will my body to do what it used to. I wanted to keep that identity I didn't know I had labeled myself with, and as others have said, I had to be gentle with myself and accept a new norm. From there, peace came
Buen Camino
 
Hi Sunflower,
Practice self care. Train so you can meditate. May some mindful stress reduction help you? Check the exercises for PTSD out. Evan it’s not up your alley they are realy good. I think what you going through is totally normal and understandable reaction. It’s ok to be sad or lost or lonely or angry or yellow striped with purple dot. For me my first Camino was literally a life safer. So just walk and the rest will come. And fall in place.
Bon Camino and know you are incredible strong.
Thank you Delphinoula for your replay and support. This is the first time I hear about PTSD. Even the professional help I went to (several) did not mention anything about it. I checked online for PTSD and saw that I have the most symptoms. You are right! Its what I have and what I am going through. I had a very very bad experience, a circumstance that changed my life to worse, last October and it literally broke me... I am still recovering but its not easy and sometimes I feel helpless and hopeless... Now through this thread I am finding some kind of relief and support and its very good. It is really helpful.
Thank you so much for your valuable input. I appreciate your help 🙏 Buen Camino
 
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Hi CaminoSeeker, the Camino calls you. I can hear it clearly and I am sure you too. Thinking and now writing about is the start. Book your ticket, use a simple Camino pack list and start. One step after another. Follow the yellow arrows. Lots of pilgrims have or have had hard times in their life and the Camino is no party mile. I personally think the Camino Frances would help most in your situation. Be in the flow of the pilgrims and let your soul heal.
Sorry for my English, I am German but I felt I should write some words for you.
Bon Camino - be sure the Camino provides what you most need.
Ultreia
Thank you dear friend for your kind words and for your good intentions. It is really helpful and valuable. I will take your advice, and as you said, the Camino will provide. I have good faith. Healing my soul will be my priority.
By the way, your English is excellent.
Buen Camino. Ultreia!
 
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The 2024 Camino guides will be coming out little by little. Here is a collection of the ones that are out so far.
I feel your fear and sadness and wish you healing where ever you are

Perhaps the you that will step on the Camino path will be a different person than the one you came to depend on in your previous Caminos: the confidence, the fore knowledge, the expectation that your KNOW what your body does while on Camino, you know what to expect may now seem all different.

There is a new you who has been injured and it may seem all uncertain for you. Perhaps if you can let go of the expectations of yourself based on past Caminos, and enter this journey, open to differences in you and the journey, you may find you reach a new level of understanding yourself

I had to let go of expectations of what mountain climbing meant to me, and who I was as a climber/ hiker when my altitude sickness became unsafe for climbing. I fought it because i wanted to will my body to do what it used to. I wanted to keep that identity I didn't know I had labeled myself with, and as others have said, I had to be gentle with myself and accept a new norm. From there, peace came
Buen Camino
Thank you Nanc for your replay and for your valuable support. Your advice is highly valuable. Yes, I am injured and all seem uncertain to me. I dont have real support (family, friends etc) where I am right now, and going through my depression alone is very hard and most of the time I am confused and with no sense of direction. Love and clarity are missing in my present life. Since I started this thread, I felt supported like never before. As @Delphinoula mentioned before about PTSD, when I first read it, I felt some kind of a relief because I was thinking wrong about my current situation/depression. What happend to me last year was a big trauma and everything turned upside down. The worst storm ever!

Since last year, I have problems in my job and at home. I dont have true friends, not even close. No support system in any way!! Bullying is present every day.
So I have to trust my self that I am doing ok and taking/making the right decisions so to help my self. But most of the time it goes wrong and it makes me feel worse.
I am trying my best to be gentle with my self. But most of the time I dont know how. Its frustrating!

I am so grateful for every single word and advice my fellow pilgrims are offering me here. Brought me some good hope and faith that everything is and will be ok. This is the hardest Camino I have ever walked!!
I make a total effort daily even if odds are against me...

Once more, thank you my dear for your good heart. Buen Camino 🌺
 
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First step: posting your message. Second, believe some (if not all!) of what you read in the replies. Third, pack about 6kg worth of stuff. Fourth? Over to you! Keep posting, you can see that folk are willing for you to step it out! Buen Camino!
Thank you kirkie for your valuable advice. God bless you 🙏:)
Buen Camino!
 
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You’ve already started your camino right where you are it’s not only a journey by foot it’s a emotional, spiritual and inward walk. Maybe the camino is just the direction you need it calls you for a reason. Just take it as it comes. I agree that Frances may be the one for you. I’m currently on the Norte and It’s more isolated. I am injured some permanent some just annoying lol, but I continue on. See my post live from the Norte. Today I cought a cold so I accept it I stop it’s a rainy day so good time to relax. Also the albergue scare further apart. With the Frances you have more opportunities to stop rest if you need it. Yes you meet a few people on the Norte but they are Also on their own path and it’s not as social, I think you may need the social nature of the camino Frances. Depression is not always good with solitude. I wish you a Buen Camino... go cast your fears to the winds and just enjoy the walk. Put one foot in front of the other , so simple the rest will come.
 
You’ve already started your camino right where you are it’s not only a journey by foot it’s a emotional, spiritual and inward walk. Maybe the camino is just the direction you need it calls you for a reason. Just take it as it comes. I agree that Frances may be the one for you. I’m currently on the Norte and It’s more isolated. I am injured some permanent some just annoying lol, but I continue on. See my post live from the Norte. Today I cought a cold so I accept it I stop it’s a rainy day so good time to relax. Also the albergue scare further apart. With the Frances you have more opportunities to stop rest if you need it. Yes you meet a few people on the Norte but they are Also on their own path and it’s not as social, I think you may need the social nature of the camino Frances. Depression is not always good with solitude. I wish you a Buen Camino... go cast your fears to the winds and just enjoy the walk. Put one foot in front of the other , so simple the rest will come.
Thank you for your replay, for your advice and support. I agree with you. May you recover smoothly from your injuries and may you have a fruitful and a wonderful journey. I walked the Norte in 2016 and I loved it. I will check your live post. Take care and Buen Camino!
 
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St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
All my past experiences on the Camino are gone! Disappeared! It's like I have never walked the Camino before!
You're ahead of the curve, @CaminoSeeker. This is actually true for all of us, but we just don't know it yet.
This is the hardest Camino I have ever walked!!
One step at a time. If you focus on what you can do day by day, that will carry you through.
Here is a link to a resource that might help you get some perspective on your process, if it is PTSD that you're experiencing.
Hang in there....ultreia and buen camino!~
 
Know that by writing your powerful post that many on this forum will be cheering you on. Please go on your camino but make it your own camino, whatever works for you, not the what others consider the perfect camino. If you post along the way I am sure that you will get lots of feedback. Best wishes and prayers.
 
You're ahead of the curve, @CaminoSeeker. This is actually true for all of us, but we just don't know it yet.
One step at a time. If you focus on what you can do day by day, that will carry you through.
Here is a link to a resource that might help you get some perspective on your process, if it is PTSD that you're experiencing.
Hang in there....ultreia and buen camino!~
Thank you @VNwalking . All I know that I am dealing with depression that is very hard. It's too much. I never felt like this before. Never had depression before. But when I read about PTSD I found several things that I saw in my self.
But as @Rebekah Scott said: 'Shut off the noise and walk.'
One step at a time. I totally agree 🙏

Thank for the resource link. Ultreia and buen Camino!
 
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Know that by writing your powerful post that many on this forum will be cheering you on. Please go on your camino but make it your own camino, whatever works for you, not the what others consider the perfect camino. If you post along the way I am sure that you will get lots of feedback. Best wishes and prayers.
Thank you Gailsie for your valuable replay and your wishes.
You are right. Simple and wise words, I agree.
 
One of the impacts that traumatic events have on us, is in the depletion of energy.

We have x amount of energy in our bodies to get us through the day. Normally we use some for grooming, for getting to work, working, going to the market and doing chores. We use some to interact with others. Some goes to processing our thoughts and feelings. Some to exercise and creativity or pleasure.

Along comes a traumatic event and bam! -most of our energy gets sucked onto dealing with that vortex. Suddenly just grooming takes more energy. The body is less interested in food so less interest in cooking/eating healthy. Energy for interacting with others is barely there. Creative juices dry up.

You had not only a physical injury, and some other difficult event, your self-identity took a hit too. You are grieving the loss of who you were and that is normal. As your energy comes back ... and with time, self care, and being kind to yourself it will, you will have increasing levels of energy to resume daily tasks and pleasures as well as the daily demands on your energy. The energy may come back slowly, in lurching steps. As your body feels able, it'll slap you with some more emotional details to deal with.

The way through grieving and recovery is like the camino, one step at a time. Go for a nice long walk. 800 km aught to do it.
 
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I decided to buy my airplane ticket last month so to start the Camino in May. But I have fears. I don't feel excited! I don't even know how to prepare and pack my things anymore. I need the Camino, I need to walk it. But I am afraid my fellow pilgrims see me sad and suffering. I am afraid I can't walk the distances. I have self-doubts about everything. I want to walk the Camino del Norte and then the Primitivo to SdC. But it's a kinda lonely path to walk perhaps. So I thought about walking the Camino Frances starting from SJPDP because I can meet more people on the way and perhaps it will help me socialize and so. But due to my depression, I am afraid that people will not want to socialize with me because I am sad. It shows. I don't feel confident. I have my doubts and I feel lost.

Faith, Hope & Love.

Sounds like you need the Camino more than ever and you have new experiences to glean from which could help others along the way. In my experience when I go through tough times it makes me a much more open, understanding and helpful to others who are struggling. In a nutshell, those difficult experiences create compassion for others...go, walk & see how you can bless others! 😊
 
Sunflower in Italian is called girasole. The one that turns to the sun. So will you.
I am with Nothernlight reduce energy zappers like all the surrounding noises or other multiple sensory stimuli to give yourself a break.
Lots of nature and green is really helpful if you have one walk in the Forrest. If you can do one thing at the time don’t try to read while the music is on and the TV is shouting at you.
Lots of people can be stressful. It’s like after a long fast you cannot eat a five course meal, just little at the time. It’s okay.
And know this it’s a normal reaction to a stressful situation. If you feel it could help talk to a real person about it.
You are not your old self you don’t need to be. Just be the one you are now. That’s more than enough. And you seem to be kind and thoughtful. So you are now a more beautiful version of yourself.
 
Sounds like you need the Camino more than ever and you have new experiences to glean from which could help others along the way. In my experience when I go through tough times it makes me a much more open, understanding and helpful to others who are struggling. In a nutshell, those difficult experiences create compassion for others...go, walk & see how you can bless others! 😊
Amén 🙏:) Thank you Cary for your replay and for your support. I appreciate it.
 
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A selection of Camino Jewellery
Sunflower in Italian is called girasole. The one that turns to the sun. So will you.
I am with Nothernlight reduce energy zappers like all the surrounding noises or other multiple sensory stimuli to give yourself a break.
Lots of nature and green is really helpful if you have one walk in the Forrest. If you can do one thing at the time don’t try to read while the music is on and the TV is shouting at you.
Lots of people can be stressful. It’s like after a long fast you cannot eat a five course meal, just little at the time. It’s okay.
And know this it’s a normal reaction to a stressful situation. If you feel it could help talk to a real person about it.
You are not your old self you don’t need to be. Just be the one you are now. That’s more than enough. And you seem to be kind and thoughtful. So you are now a more beautiful version of yourself.
Thank you @Delphinoula for your good heart, your kindness and your wise and humble words.
God bless you 🙏🌼
 
No thank you necessary under Camino friends.
 

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