Anxious debate with myself about the Camino

[sundaynightsky]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

 

[C clearly]

Goodness, you do have a problem! You are saying "I am so worried that I will change (or not change) if I do some (or all, or none) of the Camino, or that I will either not do anything or I will be dramatic and toss everything away!"

Where are you in your life? Are you an 18-year-old recently out of school, or are you a 60-year-old considering retirement?

Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

This makes sense to me, given your uncertainty.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

As a conclusion, this doesn't make sense. First, you won't be any worse off that you are now. Most likely you will have gained some really good insight, that will help you with your next decisions. And, you know what? The Camino is not the answer. Do not expect the Camino to make everything clear, so that you don't have to struggle with continual life decisions like everyone else.

However, the good news is that the Camino might teach you about the progress that you can make when you put one foot (metaphorical or physical) in front of the other, with specific goals in mind: Santiago at the end of the month, an albergue at the end of the day, 5 km more before your second breakfast today, and the tree at the top of the hill first!

A few weeks on the Camino would be a good start. It does not usually have to be "all or nothing"!

 

[skipronin]

To walk the Camino is a very personal choice. To get from dreaming to doing, many people have to deal with their personal fears of what may negatively occur.

I realized that I had been existing, not living. I had been slowly giving up my dreams, and just walking through the grind of daily life.I would suggest that you check out the Don't Stop Walking video series on YouTube by Andrew Suzuki. If they appeal to you, then take a leap of faith, and do it.

This may not be the reply that you are looking for, but I truly believe that each peregrino must make their own decision. Before you make the choice, also watch the Youtube video titled the way of saint james not a path of roses. If you watch all those videos, and are still interested, I don't think you will be disappointed.



will say that walking the Camino Frances was something that I gave myself 2 years to prepare for, as I wanted to spread the cost of the purchases out. In my case, I had the accumulated vacation. I still worried about losing my job. However, walking the Camino was my dream. The experiences that I had during the walk are priceless. And if you are able to complete the journey, it is an accomplishment that no one can take from you. Just be aware that many people who never walk a camino will think you are crazy. However, some will be impressed that you did it, even though they will tell you that they could never do it for various reasons.

 

[SabsP]

I was typing and then I read C Clearly's response. I deleted my writings because C Clearly expresses my sentiments better than I could do myself.

Don't quit your old life because it brought you this far in the first place : the bad and the good...and everything in between.

After your Camino you might even like that old life even more...who knows ?

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

Hello,
Is quitting everything a stupid idea , in my opinion Yes .
What do you hope to find on the Camino.?
The only one that will answer your questions is you and only you.
Wish you well and I hope that you find your answer's.

 

[LesBrass]

@SabineP ditto... what @C clearly said.

@sundaynightsky ... you sound like me at 23 and if my 53 year old self had been able to pass back any advice to me then, it would have been to give your head and your heart an equal voice. Life is rarely black and white, the intervening years will go so quickly and grey is not such a bad colour. (and I 'm sorry if I'm making a big assumption that you're young )

good luck and happy walking

 

[Purky]

I once ended up with nothing, but it wasn't the worst that ever happened to me. I lost my house and all my possessions in a fire when I was in my mid twenties, just days after the relationship with my then-girlfriend had ended. I had the clothes on my back, that was it. It was all very depressing and I was scared shitless, pardon my French. This series of events though, led to a blissful year of travelling and working in Australia. One of the best things I ever decided to do.

I'm not going to tell you what to do. It is something you have to figure out for yourself. But it sounds to me like you already made a decision. "I want to be different and I want my life to be different." Maybe the Camino won't be the answer, but something else on the way will. If securing a safety net is an option, that is never a bad idea. Putting yourself out there is also never a bad idea, for that matter.

But never let fear rule your life. If you do, you will miss out and sell yourself short. So my advice would be: take a deep breath, plunge in and smile. And then breathe again. Whether it is a camino, a working holiday or whatever floats your boat. You will probably very soon find that your old fears have become mostly irrelevant and you will replace them with new ones. But at least you will be in charge, and you'll know the way out, if only for a moment.

The best of luck. And also what C Clearly said.

 

[Annette london]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

So much good advice given to you regarding your dilemma
Reminds me of a book I read recently about the same thing
This guy, despite his condition wondered much the same as yourself
Will try my best to upload the info best wishes Annette

 

[FelixBC]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

I could have written this myself, right now... And I have done the Camino. Loved it so much I've done it 3 times now, and my feeling after the last one was that my greatest mistake was coming back at all.

But is that true? I don't see anyway of knowing. I could quit my job and sell my flat, and go walking again. For a year, my heart tells me. I can see the route, glowing in my mind. Completely around Spain, for starters.

And then what? I have no idea. There are a few people who just keep walking, but they either have trust funds or are indigent poor. Life is long, and I believe we have a duty to plan for our own old age. If you're twenty, go for it. There are ways to survive.

Would anyone here go for it if they were fifty? (not being sarcastic, either)

 

[FelixBC]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

That said, don't quit everything right now, but take a month/6 weeks and do the camino! Do it all, every step, and then lie on your back and watch the sunset at Finisterre and ask yourself again, what next? I'll bet there will be better answers.

 

[Antonius Vaessen]

To give up everything would be a mistake I think. To have that much expectations of a Camino will be a burden on the possibilities of enjoying the walking in a new and unknown world. I would take a month off and just try a Camino. Undoubtedly you will get some insight in what moves you, how you react when confronted with new situations. When you get back it's time enough to make lifechanging decisions.
If you decide to walk a Camino, there are a lot of questions to consider, for instance would you want to walk the crowded Camino Frances or a more quiet and in that sense more challenging other way (Via de la Plata, Primitivo or Camino del Norte to name just a few)
I hope you will find your way and I wish you a "Buen Camino"

 

[wayfarer]

Welcome Sundaynightsky. There is an old saying "Trust in Allah but tie your camel". Keep your flat and job and walk your Camino, then, if you wish, make your decision.

 

[JRO]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

 

[JRO]

One thing that I have found is that no one I have ever heard or spoken with that has done all or part of the Camino (any of them) has remained unchanged. In some way, or at some level, all have change occur, and the change is personal....within them.

Perhaps hedge your bets a bit....sounds like it might be the most comfortable for you. Sublet your flat and take a month or so.....see what happens within you on the Camino. And then, you will have an idea what to do next. Sometimes a change within us means that our daily life or existence also changes; probably because we look at things differently. The journey IS the dream. (not my quote...someone else much more famous....) J

 

[sundaynightsky]

Hi everyone, thank you for your responses!

Goodness, you do have a problem! You are saying "I am so worried that I will change (or not change) if I do some (or all, or none) of the Camino, or that I will either not do anything or I will be dramatic and toss everything away!"

You're quite right... I am 'all or nothing' in my nature! And sadly, because of this, most of the time, I do nothing.

But, reading all the comments, there seems a common theme:
I was asking "what shall I do with the rest of my life, starting now?", which is too big a question.
I should be asking "what shall I do with my life right now?". Answer: walk the Camino.
And then once I've done the Camino, I can ask it again, "what shall I do with my life right now?". Maybe the answer will be clearer then - quit my job, go back to my job, move somewhere else, stay put etc.

In summary: I don't need to think about everything all at once.

Where are you in your life? Are you an 18-year-old recently out of school, or are you a 60-year-old considering retirement?

I am somewhat in the middle! A thirty-ish person who has worked in office jobs for nearly 10 years.

Thanks!

 

[sundaynightsky]

View attachment 31213 View attachment 31214
So much good advice given to you regarding your dilemma
Reminds me of a book I read recently about the same thing
This guy, despite his condition wondered much the same as yourself
Will try my best to upload the info best wishes Annette View attachment 31213View attachment 31214

Thanks for this - I've downloaded the book onto my Kindle and will read it this evening!

 

[sundaynightsky]

Welcome Sundaynightsky. There is an old saying "Trust in Allah but tie your camel". Keep your flat and job and walk your Camino, then, if you wish, make your decision.

I love this quote, thank you for sharing it! I'll put it on a post-it note in my room

 

[Searching]

I think your recognition that something in your life must change, that you're no longer content to proceed with your current lifestyle is great! I guess many people that embark on the Camino don't have that awareness.

I believe that you must follow your heart this time, and your heart is clearly directing you towards the el Camino.

In terms of the job and flat..I'd hang on to those things for the time being.

I completed my camino in October 2016, and I must admit that I was pretty happy to have a home and job (one I didn't have much love for prior to going off) to return to.

 

[jpflavin1]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

Sundaynightsky:

First, take a deep breath or maybe several. Offering advice on threads like this can be a risky thing to do. I am averse to suggesting actions with little knowledge of you and your life situation.

That said, the Camino is not a solution to issues in ones life, imo, but an introspective path where one can sort through the challenges we face in our life with less distraction. We still must address those challenges in our life after the Camino.

You might also consider talking to someone in your life you trust ( ie: spiritual adviser, parent etc). Hopefully you have someone like this in your life. This forum might not be the best place to seek a solution to your query.

I wish you all the best,
Joe

 

[Purky]

I don't need to think about everything all at once.

It is very simple to make your life difficult, but very difficult to make your life simple. The camino helped me to realise that again. Step at a time, and smell those roses. Buen Camino!

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Don't quit everything! Just find a way to buy a ticket, get some time away, find someone to watch the cat, and get some gear together.

Why are people so binary? It's not "do it and lose everything in the process"!

It's PLAN for it, look forward to it, be practical with your head about it, figure out what you need!

I think you know what you need to do.

Buen Camino, and happy planning--even if it takes a few years!

I'm attaching my blog, because I am hanging out alone a lot these days. I'd love anyone to come by and see what I'm thinking, and I'll keep dropping in here too.

http://valiantlady.blogspot.com

 

[Rebekah Scott]

Listen to your heart. The older you get, the fewer opportunities you will have to do what you really need to do.
You can get another job, another flat. Do this now, while you can.
Don't spend your final years regretting what you didn't let yourself do.

 

[Anemone del Camino]

What C Clearly said.

You are putting a whole lot of presure on what in the end is a long distance walk. While it can make you look at things differently, it is just a long distance walk. It is often repeated on this Forum that one should not expect a second Camino being like the first one, or else one risks being disapointed. And I assume that those who did not "see the light" after a first Camino are not on the Forum musing about a second.

My fear is that you may be bitterly disappointed if all in your life was not magically sorted after you finish walking. That would be very sad.

Please remember that while the idea that you will be free of social consteaints on the Camino, that you will be able your true self for once in your life, reality is that you will be able to walk the Camino because you have a job, because of your studies or other training you got to do your job. No job, no boss = no vino tinto and pilgrim menu shared with similar minded people. Mind you, there are a handful of people who do live on the Camino, but I don't think it would take you very long to realise this is not something you would want happening to you.

And also, you don't have to take 6 weeks off to walk the who Frances. When I first walked I did so from SJPP to Burgos, 3 weeks in total, including trans-Atlantic flights, and travel to and from start and end points of my walk. And that was no doubt the "magical" Camino for me, the one novels are written about, the one that heals and makes one see the light. So if you have 2 weeks off, 3 weeks off, take that.

The return home, you should know, is not always easy: you've seen the light, you think you know who you are when life's pressures are gone, and people at home "just don't get it!". All you want to do is talk about your experience; after one talk they are done hearong about it, but you are not.

Perhaps a few "Camino lessons" will remain with you, even after you join the rat race again. Or maybe only one will. And perhaps only when you make a concious effort. And that's ok.

If the Camino was the solution to all our mal-être, there would be many more people than the already 270 000+ people walking the Camino (and those are only those who went to get a Compostela), and shrinks and pharmaceutical firms would be bankrupt.

Breath, keep your job, keep your flat, go walk what ever it is you can without binning it all.

 

[patk]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

There have been some great replies to this. I agree with the tie up your camel approach. Absolutely keep your safety net. You take a month to clear your head, this is an easy decision. At the end of it, you may be clearer about where you want to go and what you want to do, but you still have a roof over your head. These are troubled times and aren't about to get easier. Ending up with nothing is no fun. I have watched it happen to others who made snap decisions. This way you get both, a month off walking the Camino with whatever you happen to learn from that experience. But I suggest taking time. Is it the Spanish saying "Hay que vale tiempo al tiempo". You must give time to time.
best wishes for a great and reflective Camino. Take time, breathe. All will be well.

 

[nycwalking]

In 2014, I met a young German woman who'd broken up with her boyfriend, and wanted to be wed. She met an American on CF, got married a year later. I met a woman trying to decide whether to stay or leave her husband. She divorced. I went to find vocational change/validation, One of the Catholic priests running an albergue heard my story then told me to read the book of Jonah, and a Portugese pilgrim told me I needn't walk any longer because I had my answer. The camino can bring answers for life to the fore but it is not a panacea.

 

[Micah26]

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Well, I suggest that you take your vacation time or leave of absence and walk the Camino. However, the changes which might occur may be very subtle and in the end, might not effect your external life, but maybe your internal life. Sometimes internal changes make external life ok sometimes they will call for a more radical change. One never knows. You may walk the Camino and nothing really happens right now, except you had a nice month, met some interesting people, and prepared yourself for something in the future. Good luck!

 

[Mark Lee]

Walking the Camino is cool and all, but certainly not worth giving up a job and a place to live in over.

 

[JillGat]

Depends on what kind of work you do and what opportunities you expect to have in your field of work when you get back. I have left a number of jobs for adventures, knowing I could get another job when I got back. And I always did.

 

[Nath]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

Hi sundaynightsky, only you can make the decision. However, more often there are regrets of not doing something vs doing something. It is good from time to time to step out of our comfort zone. I too am not too happy in my current job and wanted to take extended leave from work but it is a secure job and money is always a road block. Despite all that, I have decided to take the year off this year. I am selling stuff that I am not using - uncluttering space = uncluttering mind and will be using some of my retirement savings - don't want to wait till then as I want the time off now and who knows what will happen when I am retired in 10 years or so. My challenge will be to learn to live on a strict budget that I am not accustom to and be a minimalist. As I am not a frugal person, this will be quite a challenge. I thought doing the Camino at the beginning of my year off was a good fit and give time to reflect and just be. My Camino starts late April. I am now working out the details to sublet my flat because the rental market is insane in Victoria, BC and do not wish to have to look for a place when I come back. That said, we have one life and we shall live it. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. A flat is replaceable, another job can be found - it may be difficult but not impossible. I say go for it and if you hate it so much stop, go back or do something else. You are in charge. I can see the Camino it is not for everybody but I do think a looking at a different scenery, the exercise alone and the sense of accomplishment at the end is a reward and perhaps give you the strength you need for the next step in your life. Good luck and hope to see you on the Camino!

 

[Anemone del Camino]

As I am not a frugal person, this will be quite a challenge. I thought doing the Camino at the beginning of my year off was a good fit and give time to reflect and just be.

Here os the question: is one's experience of Caminoing a frugal one, or the product of having a well enough paying job in order to pay for Caminoing, and giving one the illusion of being free from such social constraints?

 

[kayagee66]

Quit nothing. Pay your rent for the time you are away (i hate doing that, but it has to be done).
Go on your Camino of choice.
See how you feel about life after you get back.
I'm sure many many people do not have a positive experience on a Camino.
That said, if you don't go on a Camino you will never know what it's like.
Top tip - don't over think, plan but don't over plan. (yeah, easier said than done).
Most likely things will happen while walking that you couldn't foresee.

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

While deciding maybe spend a few weekends alone just walking and thinking and some weekends at a retreat with others. Maybe you don't need to walk the camino but just want to. You could find out which it is.

 

[movinmaggie]

Would anyone here go for it if they were fifty? (not being sarcastic, either)

I went for it when I was 80

 

[Anniesantiago]

At age 64, my advice is to follow your heart.
The only time we have is this moment.

 

[tomnorth]

If you're unhappy with your current situation, the Camino won't fix that. If you are committed to changing your current situation, the Camino can be a wonderful demarcation point, allowing you the luxury of a gap between your old life and your new life. The Camino provides a large chunk of time to think things through. But I wouldn't put on the Camino the expectation that you'll come back having everything figured out. That puts an awful lot of stress on your Camino. I met people who thought the Camino would provide all the answers. As their Camino started nearing the end, the level of stress within them was palpable. They hadn't figured everything out, and their Camino was coming to a close.

If walking the Camino is part of a concerted effort to take control of your life and move it in the direction you want to go, then by all means go for it. Leave yourself something to return home to though. That's my advice for what it's worth.

 

[backpack45]

As has been said, only you can decide--there are so many possible routes in life. I started Camino walks when I was taking an early quasi-retirement; I didn't have to give up my home, relationships, or job. However, at earlier stages in my life I have given up/ended those things in one way or another. I remember, when I was in my 40s, finding myself on a short walk while working a fun (but very low paying) job in Alaska and coming to a stop on the trail and telling myself, "If you can travel like this--little income (or savings), sharing a tiny room with a roommate, no car--happily, you can travel anywhere in the world that you want. It was for me a cathartic, life-changing moment.
However, my situation and personality, etc. may be far different from yours--for one thing, I didn't go off to Alaska expecting it to solve anything; I just had the time, opportunity, and interest. As Tom (and others above have said) it is a big expectation to put on your Camino walk. Maybe for you, dealing at home with what bothers you (the job, apartment, etc,) could be done first and then you could feel unburdened and able to do the Camino as a celebration or reward

You have great adventures ahead!

 

[rometimed]

Lots of safety in the comments and I like that but you only have the one life and if you live it with passion and the way you want you will always be content whether you have a particular job or flat or not.

The Camino changed many things about my life and I quit a job to go do it (and a bunch of other walks) but I had a pretty good amount saved up for the afterwards too (which I'm kind of still in the midst of in some ways).

There's nothing I regret though. I could not imagine my life having not done the 6 months of walking I did... I'd just be where I was before.

 

[WildPlace]

There are so many wise comments on this thread from the wonderful people on this forum. I guess I can only speak from my own perspective - hedge your bets keep the job and flat for now but go on the camino and see what happens. The first time I walked I had a question that I needed answering (I can't go into details) - it wasn't really answered in the way that I thought it might be but it was resolved.

Speaking as someone whose life was mapped out for her, who thought that life would just continue as it was (caring for severely disabled child) and I was happy with that and would have dedicated my life to him but then death took over suddenly, leaving me flailing about with no purpose in life. I had to totally re-invent my whole life, at the age of 43. I have to say since then I have grasped every opportunity with both hands, made bold moves that have changed my life and I've never regretted it - my life has never been the same since 2003 but it's been an amazing life of travel, adventure and wonderful people - mainly because i've gone out there and done things that I never thought I would, or ever thought I would have the confidence to do.

Hope i'm making sense... Maybe i'm just trying to say "you make your own luck" and one of my favourite quotes is "A journey of a 1000 miles starts with a single step" (Lao Tzu)

 

[sundaynightsky]

Hello again,

Thank you for all your replies - I really am very appreciative. I am reading through them all now.

Just wanted to say, quickly, thanks Skipronin for your link to the Andrew Suzuki series on YouTube - I watched Beyond the Way and Don't Stop Walking videos back to back. Still want to go! About to watch the other video you recommended though...

I would suggest that you check out the Don't Stop Walking video series on YouTube by Andrew Suzuki. If they appeal to you, then take a leap of faith, and do it.

This may not be the reply that you are looking for, but I truly believe that each peregrino must make their own decision. Before you make the choice, also watch the Youtube video titled the way of saint james not a path of roses. If you watch all those videos, and are still interested, I don't think you will be disappointed.

 

[movinmaggie]

sundaynightsky, perhaps if you gave us just a bit more info, but only if you are comfortable with that. What is your age group? We're of all ages on this forum, as is the Camino itself - ageless. What part of the world do you come from? many can help with with travel options and route ideas.....

 

[Anemone del Camino]

sundaynightsky, perhaps if you gave us just a bit more info, but only if you are comfortable with that. What is your age group? We're of all ages on this forum, as is the Camino itself - ageless. What part of the world do you come from? many can help with with travel options and route ideas.....

She has already said she's in her 30s and has been working an office job for 10 years.

 

[movinmaggie]

She has already said she's in her 30s and has been working an office job for 10 years.

Whoops, missed it.....thanks.

 

[superleggera]

Hello

We all have a limited number of days on the planet and cruelly, no idea of how many we have left. We're told to live every day as though it were our last but advised to plan to be around for quite a few thousand and not surprisingly, it's difficult to reconcile the two conflicting viewpoints.

The fact you've thought about this and asked yourself the question now means every day you continue without an answer is one day less to spend on the remainder of your life doing what is going to make you spring out of bed in the morning with hope, stand tall in front of the mirror with confidence and wear a wry smile that tells the world that even if this day was your last, it would be your best.

Until you're doing that you're just counting time loitering without intent, waiting for something to happen and that's not living. Get packing, get walking and then afterwards start to live the rest of YOUR life, the one YOU choose, wherever that takes you....

Regardless of whether or not doing the Camino changed anything, I suspect the only thing any of the people on here would ever do anything differently would be they wouldn't have waited so long to do their Caminos.

BC!!

 

[CaminoDebrita]

What C Clearly said.

You are putting a whole lot of presure on what in the end is a long distance walk. While it can make you look at things differently, it is just a long distance walk. It is often repeated on this Forum that one should not expect a second Camino being like the first one, or else one risks being disapointed. And I assume that those who did not "see the light" after a first Camino are not on the Forum musing about a second.

My fear is that you may be bitterly disappointed if all in your life was not magically sorted after you finish walking. That would be very sad.

Please remember that while the idea that you will be free of social consteaints on the Camino, that you will be able your true self for once in your life, reality is that you will be able to walk the Camino because you have a job, because of your studies or other training you got to do your job. No job, no boss = no vino tinto and pilgrim menu shared with similar minded people. Mind you, there are a handful of people who do live on the Camino, but I don't think it would take you very long to realise this is not something you would want happening to you.

And also, you don't have to take 6 weeks off to walk the who Frances. When I first walked I did so from SJPP to Burgos, 3 weeks in total, including trans-Atlantic flights, and travel to and from start and end points of my walk. And that was no doubt the "magical" Camino for me, the one novels are written about, the one that heals and makes one see the light. So if you have 2 weeks off, 3 weeks off, take that.

The return home, you should know, is not always easy: you've seen the light, you think you know who you are when life's pressures are gone, and people at home "just don't get it!". All you want to do is talk about your experience; after one talk they are done hearong about it, but you are not.

Perhaps a few "Camino lessons" will remain with you, even after you join the rat race again. Or maybe only one will. And perhaps only when you make a concious effort. And that's ok.

If the Camino was the solution to all our mal-être, there would be many more people than the already 270 000+ people walking the Camino (and those are only those who went to get a Compostela), and shrinks and pharmaceutical firms would be bankrupt.

Breath, keep your job, keep your flat, go walk what ever it is you can without binning it all.

I think this is the best thing you've ever written. That is intended as a very strong compliment.

 

[skipronin]

You are welcome. The story of the lady from Brazil gave me the determination to reach Santiago. I decided that unless I was physically injured or sick, I would walk the entire way. Which is what I did despite being severely overweight and out of shape when I started.

 

[Introibo]

Tomnorth's post suggests a different approach. If you'd like to change jobs
then apply now whilst you're still in work. When you're offered a job you
could accept and say you can start in 6 weeks time as I'm going for a walk
across Spain. If they're happy with that you can finish one job, walk the
Camino and come back to a new job.

I hope this doesn't sound flippant. Reading your post has just given me a jolt
to realise how fortunate I am to have lengthy holidays

Pax et bonum

 

[ABB]

Wow! Some really great insight from people!

My two cents....

Try to figure out what you don't like about your job, flat, and / or direction your life is headed. What can you do to change it? How do you want to change it?

As for chucking it all - yep, you can do it, but, plan, plan, plan and then plan some more. Take the reins.

Start walking where you are. Walk every day for a couple of hours. Many answers come when walking, no matter where you are.

Volunteer somewhere if you aren't already. Help others.

Save enough bucks to support yourself for a year (or two) so if you do leave your job, you'll have a cushion to support yourself when you return and start looking for work again.

If you are going to leave your job, do it leaving a good relationship with your employer. Give them a month or so notice. Give them everything you've got to give until the day you leave. Be someone they'd hire back in a minute.

And, follow that heart with some head tossed in. Wish you the best!

 

[Rebekah Scott]

The pilgrims paused on the ancient stones
In the mountain gap
Behind them stretched the roadway they
had traveled.
Ahead, mist hid the track.

Unspoken the question hovered:
Why go on? Is life not short enough?

Why seek to pierce its mystery?
Why venture further on strange paths, risking all?

Surely that is a gamble for fools, or lovers.
Why not return quietly to the known road?

Why be a pilgrim still?
A voice they knew called to them, saying:

This is Trasna, the crossing place.
Choose! Go back if you must,
You will find your way easily by yesterday's fires,
there may be life in the embers yet.

If that is not your deep desire,
Stand still. Lay down your load.

Take your life firmly in your two hands,
(Gently...you are trusted with something precious)

While you search your heart's yearnings:
What am I seeking? What is my quest?

When your star rises deep within,
Trust yourself to its leading.
You will have the light for first steps.
This is Trasna, the crossing place.

Choose!
This is Trasna, the crossing place.

-- Sister Raphael Considine, PBVM
(who works in the Santiago pilgrim office)

 

[Rebekah Scott]

IMHO, the Camino, if you're doing it as a pilgrimage, is a whole LOT more than a long-distance walk.
Pilgrims walk away from what was, even if it means "burning their bridges." They throw their whole life into this little month-long hike, trusting in the steps of the millions who went before them, trusting in the adage: You get out of it what you put into it.
If you don't buy the ticket, you'll never win the prize. If you don't risk, you don't achieve. You can walk your lovely, inspiring long-distance hike and nothing whatsoever will change inside you, because you already have your life all safely arranged and orderly, and you're not about to risk any of that!
I don't intend to criticize the purity of anyone's intentions.
I'm just saying, this is one of the criteria that makes a pilgrim a pilgrim. He's not on a walking holiday. He's out to change his world.
And if he doesn't give up, the camino will NOT disappoint him.

 

[superleggera]

IMHO, the Camino, if you're doing it as a pilgrimage, is a whole LOT more than a long-distance walk.
Pilgrims walk away from what was, even if it means "burning their bridges." They throw their whole life into this little month-long hike, trusting in the steps of the millions who went before them, trusting in the adage: You get out of it what you put into it.
If you don't buy the ticket, you'll never win the prize. If you don't risk, you don't achieve. You can walk your lovely, inspiring long-distance hike and nothing whatsoever will change inside you, because you already have your life all safely arranged and orderly, and you're not about to risk any of that!
I don't intend to criticize the purity of anyone's intentions.
I'm just saying, this is one of the criteria that makes a pilgrim a pilgrim. He's not on a walking holiday. He's out to change his world.
And if he doesn't give up, the camino will NOT disappoint him.

This is by far the best reply to the OP's question so far and bang on point.

You DO burn your bridges, you DO cut your ties and you DO accept the direction life takes once you start. Damn straight too, it's not a flipping luxury walking holiday it's a pilgrimage that is supposed to be tough. Being tough, it exerts a psychological effect by breaking you down and then allowing you to rebuild over the course of the walk- much like the armed forces do when they take in recruits and subject them to boot camp/basic training, although I'm not suggesting it's in any way as tough and painful as that. I suspect that plenty of people could prove the act of doing the Camino is actually a combination of auto Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Psycho-Physical Therapy as well as being a 'really long walk'.

There are so many analogies it's difficult to choose one....walking on hot coals- unless you're doing it in bare feet what's the point? Walking a tightrope- if the rope is only a foot off the ground or there's a net underneath then it's just a balancing exercise....Evel Knievel doing his motorcycle jumps- can you imagine if he had been wearing a safety harness with a wire attached to a helicopter just in case?

To try and retain the sense of adventure and keep the element of surprise, I'm actually trying to avoid spending too much time on this forum beside gleaning basic essential travel info/guidance, for which I'm very grateful btw- the answers to my marmalade question are a life saver

It's pretty obvious it's possible to micro-plan the Camino down to the last minuscule detail and many people seem determined to do this and drown in the minutiae, maybe as an extension of their already micro-managed lives, maybe they can't let go. I suspect there are a lot of planning junkies and kit geeks who bathe in the pre-Camino ritual as much as they can. Don't succumb to it, do just enough to get you to Bayonne or StJean, or wherever you're going to start from and then let life, the Camino or even the spirit of St Jimmy guide you (if you believe in that kind of thing).

 

[Tincatinker]

It's pretty obvious it's possible to micro-plan the Camino down to the last minuscule detail and many people seem determined to do this and drown in the minutiae, maybe as an extension of their already micro-managed lives, maybe they can't let go. I suspect there are a lot of planning junkies and kit geeks who bathe in the pre-Camino ritual as much as they can. Don't succumb to it...

And, if you want to hear the Gods laughing: tell them your plans.....

 

[movinmaggie]

This is by far the best reply to the OP's question so far and bang on point.

You DO burn your bridges, you DO cut your ties and you DO accept the direction life takes once you start. Damn straight too, it's not a flipping luxury walking holiday it's a pilgrimage that is supposed to be tough, by being tough it exerts a psychological effect by breaking you down and then allowing you to rebuild over the course of the walk- much like the armed forces do when they take in recruits and subject them to a boot camp/basic training, although I'm not suggesting it's in any way as tough and painful as that. I suspect that plenty of people could prove that the act of doing the Camino is actually a combination of auto Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Psycho-Physical Therapy as well as being a 'really long walk'.

There are so many analogies it's difficult to choose one....walking on hot coals- unless you're doing it in bare feet what's the point? Walking a tightrope- if the rope is only a foot off the ground or there's a net underneath then it's just a balancing exercise....Evel Knievel doing his motorcycle jumps- can you imagine if he had been wearing a safety harness with a wire attached to a helicopter just in case?

To try and retain the sense of adventure and keep the element of surprise, I'm actually trying to avoid spending too much time on this forum beside gleaning basic essential travel info/guidance, for which I'm very grateful btw- the answers to my marmalade question are a life saver

It's pretty obvious it's possible to micro-plan the Camino down to the last minuscule detail and many people seem determined to do this and drown in the minutiae, maybe as an extension of their already micro-managed lives, maybe they can't let go. I suspect there are a lot of planning junkies and kit geeks who bathe in the pre-Camino ritual as much as they can. Don't succumb to it, do just enough to get you to Bayonne or StJean, or wherever you're going to start from and then let life, the Camino or even the spirit of St Jimmy guide you (if you believe in that kind of thing).

You and Rebekah have contributed two of the wisest posts I have ever seen on this forum.

 

[Anemone del Camino]

You DO burn your bridges, you DO cut your ties and you DO accept the direction life takes once you start. Damn straight too, it's not a flipping luxury walking holiday it's a pilgrimage that is supposed to be tough, by being tough it exerts a psychological effect by breaking you down and then allowing you to rebuild over the course of the walk- much like the armed forces do when they take in recruits and subject them to a boot camp/basic training, although I'm not suggesting it's in any way as tough and painful as that.

Oh my poor man, you have just unleashed the "it's my Camino" heards. Lots of discussions about "what makes a pilgrimage", "who is a real pilgrim", "are you a pilgrim if you usr mochileros or taxis/bus". I tried once, or twice , that the notion of scacrifice is part of the Camino (walking, with the discomfort that brings) but oh the wrath from our comfort walking friends! Best of luck to you!

 

[superleggera]

Oh my poor man, you have just unleashed the "it's my Camino" heards. Lots of discussions about "what makes a pilgrimage", "who is a real pilgrim", "are you a pilgrim if you usr mochileros or taxis/bus". I tried once, or twice , that the notion of scacrifice is part of the Camino (walking, with the discomfort that brings) but oh the wrath from our comfort walking friends! Best of luck to you!

Oh well, at least I didn't mention coffee...oops...

BC!!

 

[Bradypus]

Oh my poor man, you have just unleashed the "it's my Camino" heards. Lots of discussions about "what makes a pilgrimage", "who is a real pilgrim", "are you a pilgrim if you usr mochileros or taxis/bus". I tried once, or twice , that the notion of scacrifice is part of the Camino (walking, with the discomfort that brings) but oh the wrath from our comfort walking friends! Best of luck to you!

"The appearance of motor vehicles and, in this century, the popularisation of tourism, represented somewhat of a crisis for pilgrimage: it was feared that the effort and sacrifice in the expiation of sins embraced in the pilgrimage on foot would be exchanged by a pleasant and enjoyable activity for the holidays. Such was the case that authorities in other sanctuaries began to issue visiting certificates imitating the “Compostela”. The Chapter of the Metropolitan Church of Santiago continued to issue the certificate and in modern times the award of the “Compostela” is limited to those who come to the tomb of the Apostle for religious and/or spiritual reasons, and following the routes of the Way of St. James on foot, by bicycle or on horseback."
https://oficinadelperegrino.com/en/pilgrimage/the-compostela/

 

[Anemone del Camino]

"The appearance of motor vehicles and, in this century, the popularisation of tourism, represented somewhat of a crisis for pilgrimage: it was feared that the effort and sacrifice in the expiation of sins embraced in the pilgrimage on foot would be exchanged by a pleasant and enjoyable activity for the holidays. Such was the case that authorities in other sanctuaries began to issue visiting certificates imitating the “Compostela”. The Chapter of the Metropolitan Church of Santiago continued to issue the certificate and in modern times the award of the “Compostela” is limited to those who come to the tomb of the Apostle for religious and/or spiritual reasons, and following the routes of the Way of St. James on foot, by bicycle or on horseback."
https://oficinadelperegrino.com/en/pilgrimage/the-compostela/

I know, I know... I quoted that as well: effort and sacrifice.

 

[Rebekah Scott]

No matter how many people take the bus, or send their bags ahead, or book the whole way in deluxe B&Bs... or walk with no food/money/good sense: Despite all the extremes and marketing and racket, we gotta recall: The Camino's been here for a long, long time. It's probably seen a lot worse.
No matter what you or me feel about "authenticity" or "commercialization" and "tourigrinos," there will always be a few pilgrims out there, finding absolutely astounding things on the trail and in the sky and inside their own heads.
A whole lot of other people will do a lot of other things on the same trail.
The Camino's survived a thousand-plus years. It will survive us. When we're long gone and forgotten, if we don't succeed in destroying ourselves or the trail itself, the Camino will still be out there, calling to our great-grandkids.

 

[tpmchugh]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

I never met anyone who hated the camino but your quandary is so very life changing, only you can decide. My son lost his job so walked the camino. He told me about it so I walked it but neither of us had anything to give up and unlike many others I did not have years to think about it, just a few months until I got up and went. I have only met one young man who gave up everything and another that my son knows who did the same. The guy I knew walked to Santiago then back to France then to Luxembourg and the last I heard he was in Vienna at Christmas and I know his eventual goal is or was Rome. My sons friend set off from Belfast on his bicycle and pedalled to St Jean then walked to Santiago. Not sure where he is now but his eventual goal is Greece. Both these people set off with the bare minimum of money and are to the best of my knowledge working odd jobs as and when they need funds. Personally, I think they are both 'nuts' but they are young and adventurous. Would I advise my son to go for it, and I know he probably would. Not a chance. The camino has been there a very long time and will be there as long as this world exists. Another young friend of mine goes out every year and walks different sections for a couple of weeks and not necessarily in any kind of consecutive order. Maybe you should try that first before taking the monumental decision that is currently troubling your mind. By the way, there is nothing different about wanting to be different. We all are and on the camino you will meet so many different people that you will come to realise you are already different. Of course when you think about how many people walk each year then multiply that by say an average age span of 80 and compare that to the population of somewhere like Britain, you will realise that as the vast majority will never do what you have done, you are different, you are unique and can indulge yourself in a little pride. So do a few weeks first then think about it again

 

[Rina22]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

Dear Sunday night sky

Just do it! Life is too short to allow your brain to overrule your heart and passion. I am hiking the Portuguese Coastal in May all by myself...I'm 66 and a woman...I go with my husbands blessings as he did the Camino from St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago 2 years ago on his own.

You don't need to quit your job or give up anything. Book as much time off as you can get and do if not all of it at least part of it. You will never regret taking the opportunity.

 

[SafariGirl]

Hello sundaynightsky, I started the CF at the end of September 2015 because I wanted two weeks away to think about my life and job, both of which I wanted to change, and I thought the Camino would be an enjoyable way of taking that thinking time. I booked a return flight and took enough money for 14 days, because I knew that was all I would need.

After 5 days (the first 2 of which I spent with Movin Maggie who was walking to Santiago to celebrate her 80th birthday) I knew that all I wanted to do was to continue walking, because I realised that the Camino was showing me a completely different way of thinking and being...how to value and make the most of each day...and I wanted to keep learning. I figured out ways to delay my commitments at home and to access more money, I missed my return flight and I continued walking, eventually reaching Santiago on November 11 (well after Maggie ).

I didn't start out with any expectation of specific answers to my questions (or even of completing the Camino) only with the intention of taking some time and space for myself...and the greatest lesson the Camino taught me is:

"Make this time and space whenever you need it and eventually you'll find the answers you seek inside yourself".

The radical decisions I've made (initially missing my return flight home and everything else since) have never been "Should I or shouldn't I?" decisions (and trust me sundaynightsky, that's a feeling I remember very well from my life before). They've always been decisions made with certainty and a sense of inner calm, which is how I always know they're right for me.

I've learned literally that happiness and fulfilment are not ultimate goals to pursue, they're just what we find on the way in the most unexpected situations and places...
..and a lasting sense of security doesn't lie in a particular home or job, but in the ability to trust your own inner voice and judgement. And if you can't hear it yet, then just take some more space and time...maybe on the Camino.

Buen Camino on your own life journey, you have a great adventure ahead of you, getting to know yourself.

 

[in memory of Brian]

I could have written this myself, right now... And I have done the Camino. Loved it so much I've done it 3 times now, and my feeling after the last one was that my greatest mistake was coming back at all.

But is that true? I don't see anyway of knowing. I could quit my job and sell my flat, and go walking again. For a year, my heart tells me. I can see the route, glowing in my mind. Completely around Spain, for starters.

And then what? I have no idea. There are a few people who just keep walking, but they either have trust funds or are indigent poor. Life is long, and I believe we have a duty to plan for our own old age. If you're twenty, go for it. There are ways to survive.

Would anyone here go for it if they were fifty? (not being sarcastic, either)

i don't think life is as long as we hope it will be and I say go for it and enjoy the journey. I'm 64 and plan to walk the Camino Francis next June. I don't want to be on my death bed saying" oh I should have done the Camino" Ain't life funny though>

 

[M. Oliver]

Goodness, you do have a problem! You are saying "I am so worried that I will change (or not change) if I do some (or all, or none) of the Camino, or that I will either not do anything or I will be dramatic and toss everything away!"

Where are you in your life? Are you an 18-year-old recently out of school, or are you a 60-year-old considering retirement?

This makes sense to me, given your uncertainty.


As a conclusion, this doesn't make sense. First, you won't be any worse off that you are now. Most likely you will have gained some really good insight, that will help you with your next decisions. And, you know what? The Camino is not the answer. Do not expect the Camino to make everything clear, so that you don't have to struggle with continual life decisions like everyone else.

However, the good news is that the Camino might teach you about the progress that you can make when you put one foot (metaphorical or physical) in front of the other, with specific goals in mind: Santiago at the end of the month, an albergue at the end of the day, 5 km more before your second breakfast today, and the tree at the top of the hill first!

A few weeks on the Camino would be a good start. It does not usually have to be "all or nothing"!

C Clearly: You laid things out, well, very clearly! I walked the Camino Frances in 2016 because I had time to do it and the emotional & financial support of my husband, thus a safety net. That safety net gave me comfort. (For me, not having a safety net would have given me anxiety the entire time I was on the trail.) I'd suggest taking as much time off from your job as you can & walk as much of the Camino as possible in the allotted time. Return home to your safety net & decide if you want more of the Camino -- either to return & through hike it or to return on your holidays & pick up where you left off. Use the job you don't like to save money to make either happen.

 

[Jodoug]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

 

[Jodoug]

You are afraid to lose something that you do not really like anyway. That seems somewhat funny. Like being frightened to lose a toothache of a fever. We all have an unknown quantity of years left to us in life. Only you can decide how you want those years to be?. The same? That sounds like unhappiness. That is not what you want or deserve. Life is not a rehearsal – it’s already running along.

Don't worry what others think. Do they pay your rent, and food and clothes? If not, why care what they think? In the end you will always regret what you did not do, and not what you did do. Fear itself is your enemy not the risk. Go on the Camino!!. You can do it. A quarter on a million people walked the Camino last year. If they can - you can. You will meet many wonderful people along the trail. You will be one of them, and you will be special to others you meet.

Afterwards, get a new flat and a new job, in a place you want to live on your terms. Don't end your life saying; “If only I had……” Go for it and follow your dreams and my thoughts will be with you..

John

 

[ncali12]

In my experience, it is generally best to listen to and follow a discerning heart. But it is also true that "the mystic never misses the bus." i.e. listen to the heart but be practical. Your heart may be prompting you toward the Camino. Listen to its promptings. Your decision and promptings will ripen and you will know if and when the time is right. This process is already your Camino. Perhaps it might also help to give yourself a little time for more leisure, relaxation as these can often help with the listening/discerning process.

 

[Tony Dickin]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

These questions are impossible to answer because you are the key. No one, even close friends can give you the answer because the fears, joys, challenges, hopes, desires and the myriad of other traits that make up the human psych are within you and only you. I would suggest you seek out a good therapist to help you answer these questions. As opposed to a psychologist, a therapist is more like a life coach. And don't think for one second that seeing a therapist means you have failed in some way as an individual. It's automatic for us to seek out teachers and coaches when we take up new sports, hobbies or skills so why not find a coach to help us with the most important game of all. The game of life. A game where the clock is always running and there are no time outs. I hope this helps because the answers you are trying to find are personal to you and your situation. A therapist will help you to understand yourself and appreciate that we all face difficult times in life's journey and that there is always a way to move forward.

Long distance walking is a great opportunity to reflect, make plans for the future, enjoy fantastic experiences we just don't get in our everyday lives, and meet wonderful people. Trekking is a unique opportunity to let your feet do the thinking! Happy trails

 

[Tim Eagle]

Do the Camino; your world will not end because you stepped outside your comfort zone. My interpretation of your post is that the time is right for you to do this. If what you leave behind is there waiting for you when you get back - then great (maybe these things are worth hanging onto.

“What you seek is seeking you.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

 

[sjhannes]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

Don't burn your bridges. It is only 6 weeks, but you will be different whether you like it or not. Then you will come home and figure out what to do. You will have a place and job to come home to. That is more than some people have.

 

[Jose chemin]

I understand this conflict between you hart and you brain. It is so common when we have to take personal decision.

I just can say that walking for 1 month on camino will clarift your choice. Do not think too much. It will come by itself. Indeed your unconscient brain will work without you knowing and suddendly it will be clear for you what you have to do. It will impose on you.

So do not sell your flat . Leave all doors open and just walk
I made 2 times this experiments
Enjoy your walk. You will like it

 

[Maria C]

I once ended up with nothing, but it wasn't the worst that ever happened to me. I lost my house and all my possessions in a fire when I was in my mid twenties, just days after the relationship with my then-girlfriend had ended. I had the clothes on my back, that was it. It was all very depressing and I was scared shitless, pardon my French. This series of events though, led to a blissful year of travelling and working in Australia. One of the best things I ever decided to do.

I'm not going to tell you what to do. It is something you have to figure out for yourself. But it sounds to me like you already made a decision. "I want to be different and I want my life to be different." Maybe the Camino won't be the answer, but something else on the way will. If securing a safety net is an option, that is never a bad idea. Putting yourself out there is also never a bad idea, for that matter.

But never let fear rule your life. If you do, you will miss out and sell yourself short. So my advice would be: take a deep breath, plunge in and smile. And then breathe again. Whether it is a camino, a working holiday or whatever floats your boat. You will probably very soon find that your old fears have become mostly irrelevant and you will replace them with new ones. But at least you will be in charge, and you'll know the way out, if only for a moment.

The best of luck. And also what C Clearly said.

I second Purky

 

[Maria C]

I love this quote, thank you for sharing it! I'll put it on a post-it note in my room [/
Sundaynightsky
Your young, you can achieve anything you want, you just got to want it bad enough..don't let negative experiences/people, fears or lack of confidence be the shackles that bind you to an unfulfilling existence. Sub letting your flat might be a good idea..and jobs come and go. Go and walk, and relish the breeze on your face and your new found freedom....take that leap of faith...

 

[ChloeRose]

The best part of the Camino is the time it gives you to think about big questions like that... something of a catch 22! Definitely don't give everything up for the walk, it's not an answer to everything. But I guarantee you'll come out of it with more insight and a clearer picture of who you are! (I don't think the Camino has a monopoly on transformative adventures; just introducing yourself to a dozen new people every day, as you would be doing on any backpacking trip, will help you understand who you are and who you'd like to be )

Buen Camino!!

 

[movinmaggie]

Dear Sunday night sky

Just do it! Life is too short to allow your brain to overrule your heart and passion. I am hiking the Portuguese Coastal in May all by myself...I'm 66 and a woman...I go with my husbands blessings as he did the Camino from St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago 2 years ago on his own.

You don't need to quit your job or give up anything. Book as much time off as you can get and do if not all of it at least part of it. You will never regret taking the opportunity.

Rina I think you will find many solo women walking....Have a beautiful journey.

 

[VNwalking]

Coming late to this thread with its many wonderful replies, the only thing I would add is that usually in life we say "yes" to things without knowing where that yes will lead. Our task is to have faith in that small voice that says "Go!" and let life live through us.

Change will happen to us whether we seek it or not, whether we walk the Camino or not, whether we like it or not. Fearing change is fearing life.

So @sundaynightsky, if you feel vulnerable or frightened, this is normal. Live in spite of that and see what happens.

And yes. Take care of the practicalities. Burn your inner bridges, but maybe not the outer ones right away.

 

[Kiwi-family]

This can be a both/and scenario rather than either/or.
Having a flat to come home to does not have to diminish your pilgrimage.

 

[Five Years]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

I had intentions to do the Camino for 5 years, but it took some time to figure out how to get 6 weeks in a year off and finally made it happen this last September/October. As chance would have it, I did leave my job, but not my home. I also had aspirations of having 6 weeks to really work on myself to experience a real transformation. What I can tell you is, I am very glad I walked the camino, it was the physical and mental challenge/journey I thought it would be. However, I felt a little deflated that I did not transform myself completely. I now truly believe transformation is a lifelong pursuit. As far as loving or hating the Camino, you will probably experience the full-range of emotions out there - I certainly did! Go into with an open-heart and trust that God has a plan for you. I learned as much about myself from the preparation I did beforehand, as I did while I was there. I definitely overthought many things, but in the end I felt really prepared when I was there. Sometimes that made me admire people that do it with little advance planning - they really had faith! A book I would recommend to you is "Walk in a Relaxed Manner" by Joyce Rupp. I was amazed at how her journey foreshadowed my own and her reflection gave me great perspective on my way. A final thought for you: "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself." Matthew 6:34

 

[Isa R]

Hello,

I have been dreaming about the Camino for a long time, but I have been having an argument with myself (the old 'head vs heart' debate) about whether/how I should do it. Any advice for me/thoughts on the Camino/comments about your own situation will be SO gratefully received!

So, my head is practical, scared of everything, does only what other people want - it currently rules my life. My heart is more spiritual, curious and passionate - it currently has no say in my life.

My heart says: quit everything (your flat, your job), walk the Camino, have some time to think, relish every moment without restriction, be in the moment, be honest with yourself, meet people, enjoy yourself, work everything else out later - you will be able to make it work.

My head says: you have a job and a flat, don't give this up (even if you're not that happy in said job or flat). Walk a bit of the Camino (if you must) but keep your job open. Sublet your flat for a month and come back. Then you have the Camino but also a safety net. Your friends and family will think you're less mad, too.

I worry that if I keep my flat/job, then everything in my life will be how it is now, and I will be the same too. I want to be different and I want my life to be different. But what if the Camino isn't the answer? I could end up with nothing...

Please can you give me some advice on how I can make this decision? Is quitting everything a very stupid idea? What if I walk the Camino and hate it? How did you feel about walking the Camino?

Yours anxiously,

Sundaynightsky

Advice are there for you to read and in the end it's still your decision on what's right for you. You can be practical and spiritual at the same time. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. And there would be days when you question yourself why you are doing the pilgrim and only you can answer it. Good luck and Buen Camino

 

[BillyJane70]

The pilgrims paused on the ancient stones
In the mountain gap
Behind them stretched the roadway they
had traveled.
Ahead, mist hid the track.

Unspoken the question hovered:
Why go on? Is life not short enough?

Why seek to pierce its mystery?
Why venture further on strange paths, risking all?

 

[BillyJane70]

This is very beautiful. As I sit here, wondering if I should hit the "Book" button on the airline page, it moves me to move on. Thank you!

 

[newfydog]

Some people go on the Camino expecting a good little trip, and find it profound and life changing. Some people go expecting it to be profound and life changing and soon quit, disillusioned and miserable. You never know which one you might be, and probably you will fall somewhere in the middle, but do not go with many preconceived notions about what the experience will be like.

 

[movinmaggie]

If you are still asking this question since your first post, then receiving so many wise answers in return, perhaps best to wait until there is no need to ask the question again, because you will know what the answer is.

 

[BillyJane70]

I too am planning my first Camino this year. I have decided that I will give it my all, and if I don't make it to SdC in 5 weeks, then I don't. I am not nervous about travelling alone...This is my favourite way to travel. I am a little anxious about leaving my family behind, but moreover...returning to life post-Camino. The freedom of travelling alone and living in, and for, the moment is so addictive for a gypsy who married and stopped roaming a number of years ago. I often struggle returning to the daily grind after having amazing travel experiences. But knowing that those experiences are only possible because of the daily grind gives me clarity. The older I get, the urge to live creatively increases. I envy those who trust enough to live outside of their comfort zones. I hope the Camino will speak to me of such things. I yearn for the simplicity, the space, the nature, the connection with kindred spirits and the time to be free. Truly a gift indeed. Thanks to all the wonderful wisdom and humour from those who have gone before. It's priceless.

 

[sundaynightsky]

Hi everyone,

You may remember my 'anxious debate with myself' at the beginning of this year.

Well, I did end up going on a Camino - just a short one - and have FINALLY got round to writing up my experience of it.

If any of you should be interested (tbh it's mainly to do with my mental health on the walk), please find it here:
https://healthkindnessandme.wordpress.com/walking-the-camino/

Thanks for all your responses and kindness, and apologies for not being more grateful at the time.

Thanks,

Sundaynightsky x

 

[Rick of Rick and Peg]

You may remember my 'anxious debate with myself' at the beginning of this year.

Well, I did end up going on a Camino - just a short one - and have FINALLY got round to writing up my experience of it.

And you wrote: And… I will do another Camino. Soon.

Glad to hear this.

 

[SabsP]

Hi everyone,

You may remember my 'anxious debate with myself' at the beginning of this year.

Well, I did end up going on a Camino - just a short one - and have FINALLY got round to writing up my experience of it.

If any of you should be interested (tbh it's mainly to do with my mental health on the walk), please find it here:
https://healthkindnessandme.wordpress.com/walking-the-camino/

Thanks for all your responses and kindness, and apologies for not being more grateful at the time.

Thanks,

Sundaynightsky x

I was very moved when reading your blog. Thank you.
Hope to see you here more often and on the Camino of course.

 

[Annette london]

Hi everyone,

You may remember my 'anxious debate with myself' at the beginning of this year.

Well, I did end up going on a Camino - just a short one - and have FINALLY got round to writing up my experience of it.

If any of you should be interested (tbh it's mainly to do with my mental health on the walk), please find it here:
https://healthkindnessandme.wordpress.com/walking-the-camino/

Thanks for all your responses and kindness, and apologies for not being more grateful at the time.

Thanks,

Sundaynightsky x

A very moving account of your journey

You have achieved so so much
It's impressive ...really it is

What a brave lady you are
Good for you

I really think you'll be ok now
With best wishes
Annette

 

[C clearly]

Great to hear from you! Your blog is very well written - with a good combination of observations, self-insight and even humour in the face of difficult times. It really did set the context for your first post here, and I hope you'll post more.

 

[Purky]

Your reflections on your camino touched me most. I admire your courage.

 

[sundaynightsky]

Thanks everyone for your very kind words

You'll see me around the forums I expect - I'm planning another short one for 2018. I think either part of the Portuguese or maybe SdC to Finisterre. I will start it with a healthier mindset!

 

[Kanga]

I loved your writing @sundaynightsky - refreshing honesty. It seems you are your own physician. And well done.

 

[VNwalking]

Wow, @sundaynightsky, you well and truly dove in the deep end!
What a journey - thank you for sharing it with us. The honesty of your writing is gorgeous. As is your grit and courage. The camino has a way of forcing us to be our own student, and somehow we find what we need inside. Now you know that.
Well done!
(and Buen Camino.)