Camino “families” - how cliquey or impenetrable are they mid-way through a Camino?

[Robo]

Generally, I think that the Camino blogs and posts have overstated the need of a "family", and new pilgrims come with the idea that they miss an important aspect of a pilgrimage if they fail to join a group, but this could be just me not being a particularly social person.

Not just you

They can be a nice, but certainly non essential element.

 

[Icacos]

And may I remind folk that people walking the caminos are there for very many reasons. Some people may be dealing with issues, e.g. PTSD, and it requires all their strength, emotional and otherwise, to just get up in the morning, get organized and walk. Forming a ‘family’ is likely the last thing on their mind and trying to maintain any kind of conversation can be sheer impossibility. Please do not think these people rude … but kindness is always appreciated.

 

[Former member 99816]

I for one hope all the families and people I meet are open. Guess everybody's different.

 

[RJM]

I for one hope all the families and people I meet are open. Guess everybody's different.

You will meet all types, and not all are very open and welcoming. As said some of the groups walking together have no desire for someone else to join them, and you will sense the vibe when you encounter it, even if you have no intention or want to join them, just simply being sociable towards them. I never gave any of it much thought and when I did walk with others, groups or just one other pilgrim, it just sort of happened. As I said before there were times when I wanted to egress from a group or even just one other pilgrim and always found a way to. Not trying to be unsociable, just wanting to experience meeting more people.

 

[Former member 91017]

Nope, that's not me...I do not have a rictus grin on the Camino...I am actually more of an introvert and normally prefer a one on one conversation with a stranger.

I just love that you wrote "rictus grin"... that's all.

 

[Richard of York]

I started in SJPdP and had to take a week off due to tendonitis, taking the bus from Estella to Burgos to keep up with my 'family' because I really fancied an Italian woman. Sadly the feeling wasn't mutual and I met so many other friends on my real camino from Burgos, who I'm still in touch with.

Now I realise I wasn't doing my own camino, and I feel I have to go back and do that bit again (100 miles, not insignificant)

 

[Former member 99816]

Maybe being a golfer has been a good preparation for what I'm hearing here.
When you show up alone at the golf course, the starter will invariably put you in a foursome of strangers. After everyone hits, you can walk straight to your ball alone or you and another person, walking to his ball, can compromise and walk together.
Because the balls are hit at random all four of us will walk together, walk alone, talk, don't talk, some prefer a serious silence, some others really hitting it off...

Actually, this is one of the things I really like. You can have (usually) exactly as much "family" as you want.

 

[Solitaire]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

My last, pre-covid walk was the Primitivo. I met my first friend, from Poland , on the bus from the airport to Oviedo. Along the way I met others and was generally walking in a pretty loose group. Some of us decided to get together in Santiago and so even though we didn't finish together quite a few managed to catch up at the end. It was great night. Generally I find even walking at my own pace, some days you just want to keep cruising others you want a rest day or a shorter one, it is not hard to strike up a conversation and find yourself eating with a group that night. This for me, is one of my most enjoyable moments, and coming from Australia I'm constantly amazed at Europeans multi lingual skills!

 

[dbier]

I was a "last 114 km" walker with my husband in July '21. I also walk a lot of half marathons. I'm *really* comfortable with the experience of meeting people, talking, and then one or the other moving on. Although I might wonder later if they made it, I don't usually see them again.

I think it helped that the *only* thing I read about the Camino before going was Brierley. Never saw The Way, still haven't read the most well known English books. I had no expectations of other people...only worried about whether my husband would make it.

Go your own way, and be open. What you need will find you.

(And, next time, I will miss my husband dearly, but will walk alone).

 

[VNwalking]

Never saw The Way

The whole 'family' thing on the Camino Frances seems to have a lot to do with expectations raised by this film. As if it is the way things are and should be on the Camino. But the film family is a plot device and a caricature, not reality. Actual experience will be very different; it's much more variable and fluid.

If you are concerned, take a deep breath. You will see - it will be ok, because there is space for all kinds of personalities along the way, and a lot of kindness no matter what.

 

[Anthony18]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

As awesome as the Camino is, you will no doubt come across the full spectrum of pilgrims. I found that most of the people I came across where decent, but don't be fooled by the lovely YouTube videos that it's always roses as I've witnessed a fair share of cliquish [insert choice adjective] that reminded me of high school.

I'm from the U.S., so considering the cost and preparation involved in a Camino, I wouldn't ever adjust my walking schedule for anyone or anything-nor would I recommend anyone do that-but hey that's just me. I knew about tramilies-(trail families) from before I set off on my hike, but that was never my goal. I'm not a fast hiker. I took it slow and enjoyed all the beauty that this amazing trail offers. Check out my video so you can see how I rolled.

 

[LilleTyksak]

It’s been interesting to read all the different experiences- also because one of the early contributors actually was someone I met on my first camino, Del Norte in May in 2018.

I usually describe two kinds of Camino relations…
1. The ones you meet and almost instantly decide that you want to get to know each other, beyond the current situation, and you either decide to walk together or agree to meet again.
The relation can be more or less regular and can both imply becoming travel companions or merely witnesses to each other’s journey.
Anyhow it implies some kind of compromise, which you choose in order to keep/create the relation.

2. Is the people you somehow just meet on a regular basis and the relationship just evolve from walking the same pace or distances. Some of those could eventual end up belonging to the first group, SOMETIMES because of a cautious choice…

I have experienced both in different variations on my now 6 caminos. I am very extrovert, but in reality I am also an individualist, so naturally I like to find my personal pace… I have learned a lot from all situations - one camino I started with a small group but ended up walking alone.

The coming July I am going to walk 4 days with a pilgrim I met in 2019 - and the last 13 with a pilgrim I met briefly in 2021… I hope to learn and also how to compromise without loosing myself

Buen camino

 

[cbacino]

Not just you

They can be a nice, but certainly non

Not just you

They can be a nice, but certainly non essential element.

essential element.

As awesome as the Camino is, you will no doubt come across the full spectrum of pilgrims. I found that most of the people I came across where decent, but don't be fooled by the lovely YouTube videos that it's always roses as I've witnessed a fair share of cliquish [insert choice adjective] that reminded me of high school.

I'm from the U.S., so considering the cost and preparation involved in a Camino, I wouldn't ever adjust my walking schedule for anyone or anything-nor would I recommend anyone do that-but hey that's just me. I knew about tramilies-(trail families) from before I set off on my hike, but that was never my goal. I'm not a fast hiker. I took it slow and enjoyed all the beauty that this amazing trail offers. Check out my video so you can see how I rolled.

On the Via Serrana (La Linea de Concepción to Sevilla), no problem with families. In 260 kilometers, I saw one other hiker. : )

 

[RJM]

As awesome as the Camino is, you will no doubt come across the full spectrum of pilgrims. I found that most of the people I came across where decent, but don't be fooled by the lovely YouTube videos that it's always roses as I've witnessed a fair share of cliquish [insert choice adjective] that reminded me of high school.

I'm from the U.S., so considering the cost and preparation involved in a Camino, I wouldn't ever adjust my walking schedule for anyone or anything-nor would I recommend anyone do that-but hey that's just me. I knew about tramilies-(trail families) from before I set off on my hike, but that was never my goal. I'm not a fast hiker. I took it slow and enjoyed all the beauty that this amazing trail offers. Check out my video so you can see how I rolled.

Yes, ditto.
I would never do it and recommend that nobody should adjust where they want to walk, how far or fast they want to walk for the sake of having a "Camino family" or the like. If they disappear into the sunset, guess what, there's another group of people to meet coming along. Who knows, they might be cooler than the previous.