Camino “families” - how cliquey or impenetrable are they mid-way through a Camino?

[JustJack]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

 

[Alan]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

I only walked the Camino Frances in 2006 but have done four Caminos in total (the last being the Camino Portugues in 2020). My experience is that "Camino Families" tend to be welcoming. Those with limited language skills may be limited to a smaller community of pilgrims but very many travel alone and start at different points along the way. If one is unable to coincide with people for more than one day, however, there will likely not be the time or common experience needed to form meaningful relationships. Such fellowship really only grows after coming across one another and staying in some hostels or breaking bread together over a period of time...

 

[dick bird]

It's an interesting one. Some people are happy to stay with their camino family, but we've met a fair number of people engaging in complex strategies to escape their camino families without hurting their feelings. But I've never noticed that the camino families we came across were that exclusive. Maybe it is more a feature of the Francés, and I think groups that actually started together do tend to be a little bit inward-looking (especially the larger ones). There's a Phd in there for somebody.

 

[mspath]

See this earlier post re some patterns of walking.

 

[VNwalking]

I started my first camino in Leon, and was able to make friends right away. In the case of the guy in the video, it may have been luck of the draw, just a bad day, or personality - who knows?

Walking at your own pace is really important. Going too fast just in order to keep up with people means ignoring what the body's saying. A terrible idea, with potentially lasting consequences. Slow can be heavy, too, but in a different way.

 

[Former member 99290]

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with?

Gosh, what an interesting question. I’m sure what you describe does happen sometimes on the Camino. It stands to reason that it would. It’s a common group dynamic, albeit that some doing the ‘excluding’ may be oblivious to the impact on the solo walker.

And I would echo observations by @dick bird that it’s possibly a more common feature on the Frances, though I have no facts to support that. Forum members who have walked the Frances and other highly populated caminos In recent years may have a better take on that.

In the years when I walked solo, I walked loosely with various people from time to time and enjoyed their company. But in terms of pace, distances, where I wanted to spend the night, and wanting to be alone, I frequently made the decision (sometimes difficult at the time) to stride ahead (or in your case it might be to step back). It led to different experiences and people I would otherwise have missed.

Perhaps ask yourself a different question. Do you really want to shape your Camino to ‘ensure you stick with the same group from the beginning’, for its own sake - or walk your own way, at your own pace, with an open mind and trusting that it will work out and be a challenging and wonderful experience for you.

All the best.

 

[C clearly]

is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with?

Actually, depending on your inclination and the people around you, there may be value in adjusting your walking schedule to NOT stick with the same basic group you started with.

I found myself with a family - a group of truly lovely people. But I began to feel like I was on a school field trip and I didn't really want that. I deliberately distanced myself so I could be myself, and interact independently without a constant family around me! I wanted to be free of expectations from others. I still occasionally met up with familiar faces and that was fun.

The whole issue of Camino families can be complicated. Don't feel you need to sign onto one! Not everyone does,. Don't assume others walking together one day (or a week) will stay together for the whole route.

 

[Former member 49149]

I have not had a camino family. Poor me. ??? Or what? I always walk with a friend. The same friend. We are always ready to respond, and inititate, contact with others we encounter along the way. Neither of us needs a Camino family. I have enough problems with my real family! Just joking. Camino is not real. Yes, of course it is. However, it is not normal. Normal? Please, fellow pilgrims: be who you are. Do not presume that you are a failure if you do not become a member of a Camino Family. Of course, rejoice in the friendships, and sometimes permanent relationships. Rejoice more in the gift of the lessons the Camino offers to you. Buen Camino.

 

[good_old_shoes]

Walk your own pace.

In my experience, you'll meet exactly the people you need to meet (not necessarily the ones you want to meet).

If you end up walking alone for some time, use that alone time for reflexion, meditation, whatever you want to call it. It's all part of the package. Don't try to force anything, adapt to the current situation.

If you walk with the expectation to be part of a fixed camino family all the way to the end, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It is not something you can plan. Just walk with an open mind, and amazing things can happen.

Most pilgrims, solo walkers as well as 'camino families' (even many organized tour group pilgrims!) are very open towards others. If someone is not, accept it, respect their boundaries.

It is very easy to connect with people on the camino, if you want to. Don't worry

Buen Camino!

 

[VNwalking]

I have not had a camino family.

Same.
Or at least I've never joined one. On purpose.
I've had lovely loose but regular connections along the way, but have never felt compelled to stick tightly together with any one group. It would feel a bit claustrophobic.

(I did share an intentional short romp up the Baztan with five friends from here, and we of course did stick together. But that was different. Not a 'family' but a planned walk together, and only a five days.)

 

[Bradypus]

He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that.

I am very much a solo walker by intention. So I cannot speak from experience as a member of a 'camino family'. However my eyebrows do rise a little at the idea of someone who is prepared to go online to post his anger and frustration at his perceived exclusion from established friendship groups around him. Is being welcomed into such a group a right? Perhaps this man has been coming across as too emotionally needy, demanding or entitled to make easy and welcome company?

 

[Former member 99290]

In my experience time spent on the Camino can induce strong and raw emotions, positive and negative, and perhaps even more acutely during times walking solo. The young man had a strong reaction to feeling like an outsider and recorded his feelings at the time. As @JustJack observed, the young man’s frustration seemed short lived and he was fine afterwards. Sounds very human to me.

 

[Robo]

Camino 'families' seem to be more of a Camino Frances phenomenon I think.
Probably due to the greater numbers of people.

I wouldn't stress about it.
There are both good and not so good aspects to Camino families.

On my first Camino, I was a rather loose member of two.
Only because I walked very slowly and stayed in private accommodation mainly.

I noticed some groups were very tight.
Often staying in the same place, eating together etc.
That can be nice or rather suffocating depending on your perspective.

My first 'family' was a great bunch of people. Maybe 20 all up.
I would see them every now and again and join them for meals etc.
There was probably a 'tight' group of 10 and others who would float in and out of the group like me.

I know some of the group walked the whole CF together...

As I was walking slowly I got left behind by that group.
And all the 'familiar' faces I knew had also moved on ahead of me.

At that time, I think I worked out 300 Pilgrims had started in St Jean the day I left.
So as you would expect, you get to know a lot of people, some by name, some by sight.

But by about 2 weeks, all of those people had moved ahead.

For a couple of days I actually felt quite lonely! LOL
Even though I was surrounded by lots of other Pilgrims.
Lonely in a crowd type of thing.
And of course many of these 'new' Pilgrims, had also already formed into loose groups.

So I ended up with my second family.

Again, great people.
A rather different, looser group, as many were staying in private accommodation.
But we all ended up on a Whatsapp group and would check in now and again, to see where people were staying and if anyone wanted to meet up for dinner.

And then after 10 days or so...........

I got left behind again LOL

I don't think I saw anyone from either group in Santiago.
They arrived well ahead of me.

So what is worth noting from these experiences?

1. Whilst I was a very loose 'member' of these groups, I usually walked alone due to my speed.
2. Often the most interesting people I met and those with whom I made the strongest connection, were also walking alone.
3. Catching up with the 'family' at dinner was fun, but I only did so maybe 25-30% of the time. Other times I was in a different town, or different part of town, or had made other arrangements.
4. You don't need to be in a Camino family to have a great Camino. In fact I would say, you might be better not being in one, as you'll make more of an effort to meet a broader range of people and you won't feel 'obliged' to walk to and stay in specific places.
5. In my last 100kms, I was down to about 10 kms per day due to injury. It took forever from Sarria! But I made a point of embracing it and chatting to many of the 'new' pilgrims who had started in Sarria. I met some amazing and inspiring people...
6. You must walk at your own pace. Don't try to match your pace / distance with others. (it leads to injury amongst other things) If you drop out of the 'family' you'll meet other people along the way.

Just some random thoughts and perspectives..........

Sorry, to answer your question specifically.

Camino “families” - how cliquey or impenetrable are they mid-way through a Camino?

Some might be, some aren't. Those I joined weren't.

But, why would you even worry about it?
On the more popular routes you'll always find someone to talk to. eat with....

But the Camino to me is more about the inner journey.
That's why my next one will be more remote

 

[Robo]

Perhaps ask yourself a different question. Do you really want to shape your Camino to ‘ensure you stick with the same group from the beginning’, for its own sake - or walk your own way, at your own pace, with an open mind and trusting that it will work out and be a challenging and wonderful experience for you.

A great point @jenny@zen !
Hit the nail on the head.

 

[David Tallan]

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I

I think there is a difference between adjusting your walking pace and adjusting your walking schedule to stick with a Camino family. Just about all the advice I've read comes out strongly against adjusting your walking pace, mentioning the downsides in terms of increased risk if physical injury, which could put your Camino at risk. On the other hand, I've also often seen that people will adjust their schedule to keep with a Camino family, such as bussing ahead to catch up if they've had to stop for a few days due to injury, or staying back with someone who has to stop due to injury. They see the value in it. Not everyone does so, though. Others are content to let go of the Camino family and continue without them, perhaps joining a new one and perhaps not.

To answer the headline question, I think it varies widely. Some Camino families are tight knot groups that don't interact too much with other pilgrims. Others are looser, more open groups. Some have a tighter knit central core and a looser more variable outer circle.

 

[amancio]

Actually, depending on your inclination and the people around you, there may be value in adjusting your walking schedule to NOT stick with the same basic group you started with.

I found myself with a family - a group of truly lovely people. But I began to feel like I was on a school field trip and I didn't really want that. I deliberately distanced myself so I could be myself, and interact independently without a constant family around me! I wanted to be free of expectations from others. I still occasionally met up with familiar faces and that was fun.

The whole issue of Camino families can be complicated. Don't feel you need to sign onto one! Not everyone does,. Don't assume others walking together one day (or a week) will stay together for the whole route.

that is pretty much my approach, I love meeting people, sharing moments, but, for example, I avoid giving my mobile number to other pilgrims; if I see them I will be very happy, but I refuse to be receiving whatsapps of people telling me where they are at every minute (or a photo of a beer). In fact, I also try to avoid certain people for different reasons, and I normally just fly ahead and do longer stages when that happens. This said, I do not go with a preset attitude, I just go as I feel, and, above all, follow my own instinct and my own pace above any social conventions.

 

[Rj7797]

Every Camino will be different and you just have to go with the flow and not overthink things. If I may ask, what Camino vlog were you watching? I love those things and watch all I can get my hands on.

 

[camino.ninja]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

It is a very complicated question and answer. Would it be bad to change high school? Only if your old high school is bad, I guess. But would it be difficult to get into an already existing clique? Almost certainly.

I don't think you have to stick with a clique or family. Most people stay in groups until they are comfortable walking alone. But it can be lonely if you are the only one walking alone and everybody else is in groups.

The best is when there's a lot of pilgrims walking alone. They are usually up for a good chat

Best
Andy

 

[Chris Day]

I have found this thread to be particularly interesting and insightful!
I echo R's comment immediately above - every Camino is different and in fact the same Camino will be different on other different occasions. One significant "variable" (apart from the weather!) can be the folk we come across - again we are all different and motivated in different ways. Indeed, I was blessed to meet "Bradypus" above very briefly in 2015 (I think it was)...we have exchanged a couple of messages over the years but as he mentions, by choice he chooses to be generally unattached. I'm a mixture, perhaps "an introverted extrovert" if such exists! I have greatly enjoyed solitary times, but also walking in "Camino family groups" which can form, but enjoyed them nevertheless, both in equal measure.

I explained this feature of Camino pilgrimages to a friend recently as follows -
Walking the Pilgrimage Paths can be a time of great grace.
We release from our inmost being, the things that need to be released.
We absorb from the Camino the things that Grace means for us to absorb...from the wild ways and the ancient paths and places; from the times with the good folk who share our path with for a week, a day, an hour or perhaps even just a few moments.
That closing sentiment, for me, embraces what I've experienced and have always enjoyed as an aspect of "Camino" - enjoying what presents itself - the opportunities are nearly always present and whether walking for a time in a group that forms or just meeting an individual briefly, perhaps a couple of times only or even once ....well, it's an aspect of Camino that is fascinating and a great gift.

 

[cbacino]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

Thru-hikers on the Appalachian Trail have a saying: hike your own hike (HYOH). Put another way, you will never be satisfied hiking at someone else’s pace, stopping when they want to stop, eating where they want to eat, staying where they want to stay. The more people in a group, the lower the chance of HYOH. Hike by yourself and you will interact much more with the locals. As Leonardo da Vinci said, “While you are alone you are completely yourself; and if you are accompanied by even one other person you are but half yourself.”

 

[J Willhaus]

I have not felt I needed a Camino family although as hospitalera I did see many. Also some people who had a lot of angst about being left behind.

I am not a very patient person so waiting on Phil in the mornings to get ready was plenty of Camino family drama for me. We often don't walk together and just agree to meet somewhere. I am usually quite grouchy in the morning until I find coffee somewhere so it is best for me to leave early and walk alone without speaking to others. This probably puts people off from wanting me in their Camino family. My husband, Phil, is quite friendly and outgoing, but he is a slow walker and also walks his own Camino. He easily makes friends even if they don't invite him into their group. He is kind af a Camino Yoda with good listening skills and words of encouragement .

When I was younger I probably would have wanted a Camino family while walking, but now it is not a concern for me. After coffee, I am a nice person again, but the "early morning me" is a little off putting.

 

[caminoresearcher]

This happened to me a bit on my walk as well as a result of injuries. I had to take unplanned rest days to recover and as a result some of the people I had been walking with got ahead and I ended up meeting different people. For me this was really enriching. I loved meeting and connecting with a variety of people. There are definitely groups who form tight bonds earlier on that will probably be harder to penetrate, but I had full faith that the people I was meant to connect with, I would. Another important note on this is that it is crucial that you find your own pace when walking. I saw a lot of my friends on Camino end up with injuries as a result of trying to keep up with others’ paces rather than listening to their own bodies. Find your own rhythm, listen to your body. Make sure your Camino is your own. The rest will follow.

 

[Bob from L.A. !]

I noticed you are a new member on this forum. Welcome to your new "Family". (See how easy that was ???)

One well worn statement you will hear/read on this forum over and over will be to "Walk your own Camino". While this may seem like a cliche', it is so true when your boots meet the cobblestone in St. Jean or wherever your starting point might be.
It is a lot like life where you will muddle your way forward and learn as you progress. I wouldn't put a lot of energy or stress into this, but would encourage you to go out every morning and just begin to walk. You will find with a smile towards others or a nod of the head in the direction of someone you will be assimilated in trail families along the way.

Buen Camino my friend !

 

[FourSeasons]

Hi, everyone's story is different, that's the beauty of the Camino. Here's my two cents, maybe three.
Please note, I will talk to anyone.

On my first Camino starting early September 2013 on the Frances from SJPdP to Santiago, I developed a Camino family but didn't realize it was forming, it just happened organically. I met new pilgrims in line at the pilgrims office in SJPdP, we connected but I wouldn't see the majority of them again until Puente la Reina. It was like a happy family reunion with vino and visiting. I met some in Zezur Manor which whom I would see mostly at the end of each walking day and maybe a quick fly by (them flying by me) on the way. The pilgrims I met day one or two or three became my organically grown family. I would start my day with some of them then end up walking solo, which I really liked, knowing I would most likely see them at the end of the day. The funny thing is that even though we all walked different paces and at time I would think I would never see so and so again, we all made it to Santiago the same day and planned to met for a celebration dinner that evening. It was a beautiful thing. Oh and Sarria seemed to be where just about everyone I had connected with beforehand was there. Magic.

On my second Camino starting mid April 2016 on the Frances, I started out with a few connections that lasted quite a ways however it was different then the first because this group was mostly collage aged who were into drinking, a lot of drinking. I am not. After a while I started to feel like an outsider only because I didn't party like they did and I was the momma of the group. All was well but nothing like my first where most of them were closer to my age.

My third Camino started early July 2019 on del Norte, it was different too as I found a lot of couples/pairs. Although I enjoyed the company of fellow pilgrims at the alburgues there was never a "family" to be had. I walked solo except for day 2. About two weeks in I switched to the Frances, it was then I found the comradery I had experienced before just not as magical as my first but still really great.

If you plan to set out solo keep that as a mindset and just go with the flow and see who the Camino brings your way. A few hours walking with someone on the Camino can create a pretty strong bond. Be prepared to let go as quickly as you connect. Go with an open mind and an open heart. Make beautiful memories.

This picture shows my 2013 Camino family although not all are pictured.

 

[Rolotom]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

My Camino family morphed as some left and some started along the way...don't think we were "unfriendly" to anyone along the way. We even had a "tandem" group that we often socialized with when we met up. Of course we wouldn't have invited someone to join in our albergue reservations if we didn't feel they were compatible with the group in some way (we ranged in age from 28 - 72). I don't call that being exclusive.

 

[trecile]

Camino families usually form organically, as @FourSeasons said.
Usually at the beginning of the Camino, when no one knows each other they are actively looking for people to connect with. After a few days a loose group may form, and those people don't have that same feeling of trying to find other pilgrims to connect with. They aren't being unfriendly or excluding others from the "family," they just aren't in that intense phase of looking for connections that they were in when they started the Camino.

Now throw in someone who starts in say, Burgos. They are in the stage of actively looking for people to connect with, but most of the pilgrims that they see are no longer in that stage. It doesn't mean that they don't want to know you, or are unfriendly.

Of course, not everyone is looking to make a connection with other pilgrims, and that's okay too.

 

[Vince Rollason]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

I have been four times on the Camino and i have always walked solo. I always speak to other walkers be they walking alone, like me. or in a group. I don't know if I have just been lucky but I have always been welcomed and have seen different people at different stages. I have had people who walked faster than me leave messages with other friends to wish me well or check on me. I have always spent a week in Santiago after finishing and met up for meals with others who have got there before me of arrived afterwards. Even now almost 10 years after my first Camino I am still in touch with friends from each journey.
Buen Camino
Vince

 

[Sue127]

Walk your own pace.

In my experience, you'll meet exactly the people you need to meet (not necessarily the ones you want to meet).

If you end up walking alone for some time, use that alone time for reflexion, meditation, whatever you want to call it. It's all part of the package. Don't try to force anything, adapt to the current situation.

If you walk with the expectation to be part of a fixed camino family all the way to the end, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It is not something you can plan. Just walk with an open mind, and amazing things can happen.

Most pilgrims, solo walkers as well as 'camino families' (even many organized tour group pilgrims!) are very open towards others. If someone is not, accept it, respect their boundaries.

It is very easy to connect with people on the camino, if you want to. Don't worry

Buen Camino!

As a sólo walker I enjoyed moments of solitude and was happy when that was broken by a "buen camino" and follow up conversation. Everybody wants/needs something different. I met an interesting French gentleman who enjoyed conversation at a coffee stop but may it clear, by his demeanour, that whilst walking, he would not talk. I respected his choice and although are paths often crossed, one would pass the other silently. Others would appear out of nowhere, whooping at having crossed paths again. For me, that whole experience of interaction was fascinating. Enjoy and buen camino

 

[C clearly]

Just as it is important and kind to be appropriately friendly to others who might be lonely, it is important and kind for the lonely to be sensitive to those who have the need for solitude either at the moment or for the whole journey.

And that need/preference is not constant. Sometimes one needs an hour of solitude, and then company is welcome. Don't assume anything - just be sensitive.

 

[Former member 99290]

Thank you for that perspective @C clearly. I agree.

When I have walked solo, I’ve enjoyed my alone time especially when walking. The times I felt ‘lonely’ as opposed to ‘alone’ were often in the larger towns, where the Albergues didn’t have communal meals, and I was eating dinner by myself looking on at groups who seemed to be having a wonderful time. If I were a different person, I might have had the confidence to approach the group and ask if I could join … something I’d encourage others to do.

So … fast forward to more recent years when I’ve either walked with my husband or a friend. If we see a pilgrim eating alone at dinner, one of us will always go over to them and say ‘you’re probably enjoying your alone time after a long day but, if you feel like some company, you are very welcome to eat with us’. I’d say 80-90% of the time, the pilgrim joins us. It’s a small gesture but it can be a welcome one to someone who would rather not eat alone.

 

[Anamiri]

Camino 'families' seem to be more of a Camino Frances phenomenon I think.
Probably due to the greater numbers of people.

I wouldn't stress about it.
There are both good and not so good aspects to Camino families.

On my first Camino, I was a rather loose member of two.
Only because I walked very slowly and stayed in private accommodation mainly.

I noticed some groups were very tight.
Often staying in the same place, eating together etc.
That can be nice or rather suffocating depending on your perspective.

My first 'family' was a great bunch of people. Maybe 20 all up.
I would see them every now and again and join them for meals etc.
There was probably a 'tight' group of 10 and others who would float in and out of the group like me.

I know some of the group walked the whole CF together...

As I was walking slowly I got left behind by that group.
And all the 'familiar' faces I knew had also moved on ahead of me.

At that time, I think I worked out 300 Pilgrims had started in St Jean the day I left.
So as you would expect, you get to know a lot of people, some by name, some by sight.

But by about 2 weeks, all of those people had moved ahead.

For a couple of days I actually felt quite lonely! LOL
Even though I was surrounded by lots of other Pilgrims.
Lonely in a crowd type of thing.
And of course many of these 'new' Pilgrims, had also already formed into loose groups.

So I ended up with my second family.

Again, great people.
A rather different, looser group, as many were staying in private accommodation.
But we all ended up on a Whatsapp group and would check in now and again, to see where people were staying and if anyone wanted to meet up for dinner.

And then after 10 days or so...........

I got left behind again LOL

I don't think I saw anyone from either group in Santiago.
They arrived well ahead of me.

So what is worth noting from these experiences?

1. Whilst I was a very loose 'member' of these groups, I usually walked alone due to my speed.
2. Often the most interesting people I met and those with whom I made the strongest connection, were also walking alone.
3. Catching up with the 'family' at dinner was fun, but I only did so maybe 25-30% of the time. Other times I was in a different town, or different part of town, or had made other arrangements.
4. You don't need to be in a Camino family to have a great Camino. In fact I would say, you might be better not being in one, as you'll make more of an effort to meet a broader range of people and you won't feel 'obliged' to walk to and stay in specific places.
5. In my last 100kms, I was down to about 10 kms per day due to injury. It took forever from Sarria! But I made a point of embracing it and chatting to many of the 'new' pilgrims who had started in Sarria. I met some amazing and inspiring people...
6. You must walk at your own pace. Don't try to match your pace / distance with others. (it leads to injury amongst other things) If you drop out of the 'family' you'll meet other people along the way.

Just some random thoughts and perspectives..........

Sorry, to answer your question specifically.

Camino “families” - how cliquey or impenetrable are they mid-way through a Camino?

Some might be, some aren't. Those I joined weren't.

But, why would you even worry about it?
On the more popular routes you'll always find someone to talk to. eat with....

But the Camino to me is more about the inner journey.
That's why my next one will be more remote

On my first Camino my experience was similar. I enjoyed being part of a Camino family, it happened organically - probably because we all started at SJPDP, and spoke English - with a disproportionately high number of Kiwis, Aussies, and Canadians.
There was a close knit group of 6, aged between 26 and 70. And a wider group of about 20. It was fun, and I still keep in touch.
Although we left at the same time each morning, we didnt actually walk together though - just met up in the afternoon, and decided where to head to the next day. I enjoyed walking alone.
The next Camino was different, bumping into a much smaller group from time to time, but not every day.
And last time was completely different, as we walked as a family, which is a very different dynamic.
I enjoyed all my Caminos - and dont go with an expectation of being part of a Camino family - but it is great when it happens.

 

[Frank Wortley]

Gosh, what an interesting question. I’m sure what you describe does happen sometimes on the Camino. It stands to reason that it would. It’s a common group dynamic, albeit that some doing the ‘excluding’ may be oblivious to the impact on the solo walker.

And I would echo observations by @dick bird that it’s possibly a more common feature on the Frances, though I have no facts to support that. Forum members who have walked the Frances and other highly populated caminos In recent years may have a better take on that.

In the years when I walked solo, I walked loosely with various people from time to time and enjoyed their company. But in terms of pace, distances, where I wanted to spend the night, and wanting to be alone, I frequently made the decision (sometimes difficult at the time) to stride ahead (or in your case it might be to step back). It led to different experiences and people I would otherwise have missed.

Perhaps ask yourself a different question. Do you really want to shape your Camino to ‘ensure you stick with the same group from the beginning’, for its own sake - or walk your own way, at your own pace, with an open mind and trusting that it will work out and be a challenging and wonderful experience for you.

All the best.

I have only done 3 caminos - all the Frances. The first two we great, friendly inclusive etc. The last was relatively lonely as the groups were primarily language based and many of the others we married couples. There were very few solo walkers like myself. Having said that the lessons learned were incredible and would not have been possible had the circumstances not been as they were. I remind myself that the pigrimage is "my Camino" and what it is, is my context for growth etc. Buen camino!

 

[trecile]

Although we left at the same time each morning, we didnt actually walk together though - just met up in the afternoon, and decided where to head to the next day. I enjoyed walking alone.

That's my preference. For example - I don't want to wake up at 5am because that's the consensus of the group. Or conversely, I like to start walking before I stop for breakfast, and there are many who won't step foot on the trail until they have eaten, and I don't want to wait for them. That's the beauty of the Camino - you can do it your way and enjoy the company of others.

 

[JustJack]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. As I expected, there were many different viewpoints, as this is a very nuanced question.

Personally, I'm looking forward to walking alone. This isn't a "holiday" I'm planning for - it's some badly needed mental therapy (or perhaps just that tired old cliche of me looking to "find" myself...).

That said, it's mostly dinner time that I would be wanting some company. I've backpacked all over the world alone, and I know from past experience that eating dinner alone is perhaps the loneliest part of the day. Shared pilgrim meals at the albergue will be fine, as there will be a built in group of pilgrims there, and someone seated next to me. But private restaurants are a different matter, and in those cases it would be nice to have company on some of the days.

I hear you when you say it might be just as desirable to lose your camino family as it is to stick with them . And I am more than happy to adjust my schedule if I need to break loose.

As always, I appreciate the wisdom and generosity that gets shared on this forum. I do wonder however if this forum tends to attract the best of the pilgrim crowd, and I'm being spoiled, and in for a rude awakening when I meet all the really annoying pilgrims that haven't joined this site...

 

[domigee]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. As I expected, there were many different viewpoints, as this is a very nuanced question.

Personally, I'm looking forward to walking alone. This isn't a "holiday" I'm planning for - it's some badly needed mental therapy (or perhaps just that tired old cliche of me looking to "find" myself...).

That said, it's mostly dinner time that I would be wanting some company. I've backpacked all over the world alone, and I know from past experience that eating dinner alone is perhaps the loneliest part of the day. Shared pilgrim meals at the albergue will be fine, as there will be a built in group of pilgrims there, and someone seated next to me. But private restaurants are a different matter, and in those cases it would be nice to have company on some of the days.

I hear you when you say it might be just as desirable to lose your camino family as it is to stick with them . And I am more than happy to adjust my schedule if I need to break loose.

As always, I appreciate the wisdom and generosity that gets shared on this forum. I do wonder however if this forum tends to attract the best of the pilgrim crowd, and I'm being spoiled, and in for a rude awakening when I meet all the really annoying pilgrims that haven't joined this site...

There are a few annoying pilgrims, (oh yes), on any Camino, just like in ‘real’ life! But on the whole, I found them all a pretty friendly and interesting bunch.
The unusual fact is that we all immediately have something in common, mad enough to walk through a country in all weathers
June 2021 was my 10th Camino (not including Jerusalem) and I almost (almost!) missed the annoying ones! There were fewer of us than on the Via de la Plata in Summer! Next time I walk, I’ll remember not to mind the annoying ones , it isn’t quite the same without them

 

[VNwalking]

There are a few annoying pilgrims, (oh yes), on any Camino, just like in ‘real’ life

And who knows? We may be the one annoying pilgrim for someone else.

 

[Bradypus]

There are a few annoying pilgrims, (oh yes), on any Camino, just like in ‘real’ life!

Now and again I've added a few km to my day just to make sure of leaving some prime specimens well behind me. Quite possible that others have done the same with me in mind. You get all sorts on the Caminos...

 

[domigee]

Now and again I've added a few km to my day just to make sure of leaving some prime specimens well behind me. Quite possible that others have done the same with me in mind. You get all sorts on the Caminos...

I did the same on Via de la Plata No doubt others did the same with me

 

[domigee]

Camino 'families' seem to be more of a Camino Frances phenomenon I think.
Probably due to the greater numbers of people.

Thinking of Via de la Plata makes me answer you, @Robo .
i walked it in Summer and there was only a handful of us, very difficult to get out of this ’family’ thing, when there are fewer places to stop, either for drinks or for accommodation and we all walk more or less at the same pace! It is much easier to feel alone on the Camino francés.
I walked with my husband that year and we actually did much longer distances just to be away from the ‘group’!

 

[Former member 99290]

I do wonder however if this forum tends to attract the best of the pilgrim crowd, and I'm being spoiled, and in for a rude awakening when I meet all the really annoying pilgrims that haven't joined this site...

I wouldn't be so sure about that. I walked many caminos before participating in this forum - there are many more pilgrms than there are members of this forum. And like many people, I can no doubt be regarded at different times as charming and annoying, and not necessarily in equal parts (smiley face)

 

[Robo]

Thinking of Via de la Plata makes me answer you, @Robo .
i walked it in Summer and there was only a handful of us, very difficult to get out of this ’family’ thing, when there are fewer places to stop, either for drinks or for accommodation and we all walk more or less at the same pace! It is much easier to feel alone on the Camino francés.
I walked with my husband that year and we actually did much longer distances just to be away from the ‘group’!

I can understand that @domigee. (appreciate the heads up)

I suppose as you say, it's possible to enjoy both Worlds.

At times I get lonely on Camino, particularly eating alone at night. So the company of 2 or 3 other Pilgrims can be nice. But I enjoy walking alone or maybe with one other person now and again.

But these things can't be planned. As you know, they just happen.

Maybe we just need to be prepared to be open to what happens.
If we feel like we need a 'break' walk ahead, slow down, whatever.
If we need company, seek it.

Some of my most memorable meals on Camino have been with just 1 other Pilgrim, who happened to also be alone.

 

[Robo]

As always, I appreciate the wisdom and generosity that gets shared on this forum. I do wonder however if this forum tends to attract the best of the pilgrim crowd, and I'm being spoiled, and in for a rude awakening when I meet all the really annoying pilgrims that haven't joined this site...

I would say this Forum is fairly representative of those you will meet.
Maybe a slightly older demographic here?

 

[Isca-camigo]

I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis.

Is he walking at the moment or recently?
If he is I wouldn't be surprised that some people are not as welcoming to their little groups, there is still a health situation ongoing. I am quite lax about it now but plenty of people aren't.
Just patience and a little friendliness are needed on the Camino they are a winning combination, if he is wanting to socialize drop the strop.

 

[Kathy F.]

I think people who begin the Camino walking solo are pretty happy being solo. If they fall into a family, it is a happy accident, but they are comfortable saying ". . . You go on ahead, I'm going to stop here for a while. . . " and it is a silent understanding. If we meet again, it's great, if not, thanks for the companionship we shared. I never considered a Camino family until I realized I had one.

I found my Camino family towards the end of my first CF and we didn't realize it until the end. I just kept running into the same people after a while and, importantly, enjoying each other's company. Ten years later, we are still friends.

On my second, the families kept flowing - the people I walked with ebbed and flowed like a stream. Some stuck, others didn't.

It's all good. Be welcoming to everyone - you never know who is going to become part of your family that sticks.

And don't be offended if people ditch YOU!!

 

[C clearly]

I do wonder however if this forum tends to attract the best of the pilgrim crowd

I don't know about that! Some of us can be quite annoying and may even be harder to avoid!

Thinking of Via de la Plata makes me answer you, @Robo .
i walked it in Summer and there was only a handful of us, very difficult to get out of this ’family’ thing

But the VDLP attracts older and more independent-minded people, who are less likely to look for a family type of attachment. You can have the same people at the end of each day but with less expectation of group activity. I found that to be perfect.

 

[NorthernLight]

I walk alone and have observed a number of camino families. I’ve dined and socialized on the periphery of some of them. Most of them were loosely connected and some were quite porous. The tightest family I ever observed were pleasant around Logroño, monopolizing kitchen resources by Leon, and imploding with resentments by Santiago.

I’ve found kindred spirits mostly amongst those walking alone or in pairs. But I’m somewhat introverted so that’s to be expected.

 

[VNwalking]

The tightest family I ever observed were pleasant around Logroño, monopolizing kitchen resources by Leon, and imploding with resentments by Santiago

That would be quite the story to read, if someone were to write it up. It would bust the myth that the Camino is some magical spiritual disneyland, but a real-life place with real-life dynamics. More people are kind than not along the way, but stuff still happens.

 

[Robo]

I walk alone and have observed a number of camino families. I’ve dined and socialized on the periphery of some of them. Most of them were loosely connected and some were quite porous. The tightest family I ever observed were pleasant around Logroño, monopolizing kitchen resources by Leon, and imploding with resentments by Santiago.

I’ve found kindred spirits mostly amongst those walking alone or in pairs. But I’m somewhat introverted so that’s to be expected.

Interesting.
Not with Camino families, but I have met good friends who started the Camino together, who DID NOT finish together!

Walking a long Camino together can cause a lot of stress on an existing relationship.

So whilst I love my wife dearly...........we may not walk a Camino together again
(and she understands and agrees)

 

[Peregrinopaul]

…one of us will always go over to them and say ‘you’re probably enjoying your alone time after a long day but, if you feel like some company, you are very welcome to eat with us’.…

…and because I’m an old guy on a bike, that may very well be me. When I sit down to eat, no-one will be familiar, and I can tell you that such a gesture would be always very welcome. Perhaps this contributes to my preference for the VdlP. There are so few pilgrims in the hotter months that everyone interacts spontaneously.

 

[Peregrinopaul]

One remarkable instance for me was meeting again a group of 4 young ladies who had merely passed me on the outskirts of Pamplona with a cheery buen Camino! THEY recognised ME in the queue for the compostela at the old pilgrim office. How I had seemingly kept up with them over that distance is a mystery - except for the fact that I do use the roads frequently. They were Icelandic, and all called somebody’s daughter (…dottir)

 

[RJM]

Never wanted a Camino family. Never looked for one and never needed one. Over the course of many Caminos I did of course at times became part of a Camino family but I always made it a point to extricate myself from them after a few days (can be difficult) and on one occasion two weeks. It seemed at the end of the journey I had more than one group I shared it with. I like that better.
I personally don't think anyone should walk their first Camino thinking they have to have a group of people, or maybe even just one other person to walk with. If it happens it happens, if not oh well.
I never tried to become part of another group already walking the Camino together after some time, and yes some seem a bit clique and will bogart the kitchen and utensils etc in albergues sometimes. Noisy in the albergue sleeping quarters etc. I did observe some to be selfish and rude in that manner.
The Camino is no different than the rest of life in terms of people getting on your nerves and perhaps your getting on theirs. It's natural and normal. When it reaches that point, egress from the group.

 

[JustJack]

So … fast forward to more recent years when I’ve either walked with my husband or a friend. If we see a pilgrim eating alone at dinner, one of us will always go over to them and say ‘you’re probably enjoying your alone time after a long day but, if you feel like some company, you are very welcome to eat with us’

What a great thing to do!

 

[Former member 99290]

What a great thing to do!

Hi Jack. Someone did that for me once on my first Camino. I appreciated it and never forgot.

PS. She was also eating alone, so she was courageous and kind to ask me. We enjoyed a lovely meal together sitting outdoors opposite Burgos Cathédral. The next morning we set off together. I was going further than her that day, on to Hontanas, and I never saw her again. But we enjoyed the time we shared.

No doubt you will have many such experiences Jack. That’s the Camino

 

[WalkingJane]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

I met several people that I encountered more than once but never had anything like a "family" and really did not want that kind of interaction. The walk, for me, was for reflection, and just enjoying the moment, or coping with it, as in rain and mud. Several times I had a meal with people who were at the Albergue where i was staying and that was pleasant. Or met someone I had seen before and had a chat. But it's only here on the Forum that I even thought about the "family" idea. Not anti-social, and do not mean to be critical of anyone else's experience and preference, but did not ever see the Camino as a place where it was necessary to make a "group" of any kind.

 

[Lindsay53]

Before I started I had read several books that made much of the "Camino family". However I did not want that experience myself and was happy walking alone and not tailoring my day to anyone else. I ran into the same people on a number of occasions and shared a meal or a drink, but that was as far as it went.

There are ample opportunities to meet people on the Camino without the formation of a "family".

 

[koknesis]

See this earlier post re some patterns of walking.

Very well said indeed!

I think it might be a bit confusing how one understands the meaning of “Camino family” because the term “family” somehow suggests shared duties and responsibilities, or a common purpose at least.
I have mostly walked solo, but I would say that every pilgrim whom I met on Camino, or even elsewhere was regarded belonging to the much wider family of people who have chosen the Way.

 

[camino.ninja]

Very well said indeed!

I think it might be a bit confusing how one understands the meaning of “Camino family” because the term “family” somehow suggests shared duties and responsibilities, or a common purpose at least.
I have mostly walked solo, but I would say that every pilgrim whom I met on Camino, or even elsewhere was regarded belonging to the much wider family of people who have chosen the Way.

I agree, but, after maybe 10 caminos walking "alone" I started joining groups or families. And there are things to learn from that as well as walking alone. But it is a lot easier walking with a group of people who knows how to walk alone.

 

[Bradypus]

So whilst I love my wife dearly...........we may not walk a Camino together again
(and she understands and agrees)

I can understand that very well. My wife has walked a couple of Caminos, the Shikoku temple circuit and other long distance routes. But our paces and styles of walking and "comfort zone" for accommodation and planning are so different that walking together for many days would be hard for either of us to handle. So we support each other in whatever either one chooses to do solo.

 

[koknesis]

I usually find myself being torn between “home sweet home” where actually my family is and “Camino sweat Camino” where nobody is a stranger …

 

[David Tallan]

I think it might be a bit confusing how one understands the meaning of “Camino family” because the term “family” somehow suggests shared duties and responsibilities, or a common purpose at least.

I think the common purpose of walking to Santiago is an important element in Camino fellowship.

 

[VNwalking]

I usually find myself being torn between “home sweet home” where actually my family is and “Camino sweat Camino” where nobody is a stranger …

Perfectly put, @koknesis!

So this family thing. Where did it come from, anyway? I wouldn't be at all surprised if it became especially common after The Way was released.
I looked at an older thread about it from 2014, and many posts referred to the movie.

And "family" was usually in quotes. No longer, so much. A Camino Familiy seems to be much more normalized now.

 

[Kathar1na]

So this family thing. Where did it come from, anyway? I wouldn't be at all surprised if it became especially common after The Way was released.

You mean to say that you never heard of Jeff Chaucer's Stories from my Camino Family on their Way to Canterbury???

 

[VNwalking]

You mean to say that you never heard of Jeff Chaucer's Stories from my Camino Family on their Way to Canterbury???

Yis, but in oure tyme among ous hiere, do wryte of newe som matiere...

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I have always walked with family or friends so my other interactions were sometimes chatting with friendly and interesting individuals. The only negative experience I witnessed were a group of six young friends who were noticeably unfriendly on the Primitivo. They raced ahead to secure beds each day, and they also would "reserve" seats for themselves at the albergue breakfast tables by placing their own plates/cups to hold their spots while they left to get themselves ready in the mornings before returning to make their own food. I thought it presumptuous and a rather rude thing to do.

 

[trecile]

We also need to be aware of cultural differences. To many Americans the lack of a smile from a stranger can seem unfriendly, but I understand that other cultures may consider the omnipresent smiling of some Americans as suspicious. As in "why is she smiling so much? Does she want something from me?" Neither way is wrong, just different.

This article about Why Americans Smile So Much is interesting. Especially this observation:

Here’s how one Reddit user in Finland put it:

When a stranger on the street smiles at you:
a. you assume he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he’s an American

 

[Camino Chrissy]

Nope, that's not me...I do not have a rictus grin on the Camino...I am actually more of an introvert and normally prefer a one on one conversation with a stranger.

 

[Icacos]

… and they also would "reserve" seats for themselves at the albergue breakfast tables by placing their own plates/cups to hold their spots while they left to get themselves ready in the mornings before returning to make their own food. I thought it presumptuous and a rather rude thing to do.

In a crowded outdoor eating area between Sarria and SdC, I moved a pair of walking poles leaning against the bench of a picnic table so I could sit and eat my purchased food; I thought someone had just laid them there and would be back for them. Shortly after a woman came by, retrieved the poles from where I had placed them, and muttered something as she walked away. To this day I can’t understand how a pair of poles leaning against a picnic table bench in a crowded eating area could constitute a ‘reservation.’

 

[good_old_shoes]

This type of behavior isn't exclusive to one nationality. I have seen it in resorts with few if any Germans.

I didn't say that it is exclusive to a certain nationality. Just wanted to use it as an example that something that might feel rude to one person will be totally normal to another. Set breakfast table first in the morning, then go back to bathroom to wash/dress, then finally return to the table to eat together with your friends or family when everybody is ready? sounds totally normal and not rude at all to me, for example...!

In my experience, many of the things that are considered 'rude' by some pilgrims are cases of cultural misunderstanding or simply not being used to something that is totally normal to many others in this world.

One more reason to stay open minded during the walk.

 

[Icacos]

Set breakfast table first in the morning, then go back to bathroom to wash/dress, then finally return to the table to eat together with your friends or family when everybody is ready? sounds totally normal and not rude at all to me, for example...!

One more reason to stay open minded during the walk.

I agree with you that I have to remain open minded. To set the breakfast table first thing in a shared facility and return to it when all in your party are ready to eat together, renders the table unavailable to those who may wish to use it while your party is getting ready. That doesn’t seem totally normal to me, but I will work on remaining open minded.

 

[RJM]

I didn't say that it is exclusive to a certain nationality. Just wanted to use it as an example that something that might feel rude to one person will be totally normal to another. Set breakfast table first in the morning, then go back to bathroom to wash/dress, then finally return to the table to eat together with your friends or family when everybody is ready? sounds totally normal and not rude at all to me, for example...!

In my experience, many of the things that are considered 'rude' by some pilgrims are cases of cultural misunderstanding or simply not being used to something that is totally normal to many others in this world.

One more reason to stay open minded during the walk.

If I went into an albergue with breakfast included and saw the table set already and nobody there I would assume that it was meant for anybody and placed there by the host/hospitalero. I would just get to chowing down, no doubt getting a stare later when the table setter arrived, lol.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

If I went into an albergue with breakfast included and saw the table set already and nobody there I would assume that it was meant for anybody and placed there by the host/hospitalero. I would just get to chowing down, no doubt getting a stare later when the table setter arrived, lol.

My experience with the young people was not at albergues where any breakfast was included. They had their own plates and cups and set them out much earlir than needed, while others would have appreciated a place to sit and eat. I'm not trying to be contrary here, I was simply recalling a few off-putting experiences by a group of six persons.

 

[VNwalking]

They had their own plates and cups and set them out much earlir than needed

To set the breakfast table first thing in a shared facility and return to it when all in your party are ready to eat together, renders the table unavailable to those who may wish to use it while your party is getting ready.

This of course assume everyone has to play by their rules. Who says? You can actually just move the stuff aside if they're not there. Not with anger or resentment, just making space for yourself.

We also need to be aware of cultural differences. To many Americans the lack of a smile from a stranger can seem unfriendly, but I understand that other cultures may consider the omnipresent smiling of some Americans as suspicious. As in "why is she smiling so much? Does she want something from me?" Neither way is wrong, just different.

This article about Why Americans Smile So Much is interesting. Especially this observation:

Here’s how one Reddit user in Finland put it:

When a stranger on the street smiles at you:
a. you assume he is drunk
b. he is insane
c. he’s an American

Good point, @trecile.

And lol, I would add to that list:
d. he just spent a ton of money getting his teeth artificially whitened and wants to show them off.

 

[Former member 99290]

Ah … ‘families’. On the camino, as in life … they can be so annoying .

Sorry, just trying to inject a light note in to this ‘Camino families’ thread

 

[Anamiri]

I didn't say that it is exclusive to a certain nationality. Just wanted to use it as an example that something that might feel rude to one person will be totally normal to another. Set breakfast table first in the morning, then go back to bathroom to wash/dress, then finally return to the table to eat together with your friends or family when everybody is ready? sounds totally normal and not rude at all to me, for example...!

In my experience, many of the things that are considered 'rude' by some pilgrims are cases of cultural misunderstanding or simply not being used to something that is totally normal to many others in this world.

One more reason to stay open minded during the walk.

I would think it would be normal if it was your own home or hotel room, but in a facility like an albergue, with shared facilities, depriving others of the space in the meantime I think would earn them at the least a few dirty looks.

I know people who put their packs down in the waiting line for an albergue to hold their space, then disappeared to a local bar, found their bags moved along the line whilst they were gone - so it is risky to assume others understand or agree with a custom.

 

[good_old_shoes]

If there is not much space, and people then 'reserve' their spot leaving no room at all to sit for others, I understand how that would be inconvenient and not very nice of them.

I guess I simply didn't think the table would be "full" with six places set, most albergue dining rooms I've seen had much more space than that...! I imagined a large dining table with six plates and cups on one side and lots of space left on the other, which seemed fairly innocent to me. So, maybe a misunderstanding on my part here ;-)

 

[good_old_shoes]

I see that one of my comments was deleted. As someone who is from the mentioned culture themselves, it was meant in good humour, sorry for offending others/breaking a rule here. Not going to happen again, will be more careful posting in the future.

 

[peregrina2000]

We may be kind of trigger happy when it comes to deleting references to cultural stereotypes because of how threads have gone south in the past. You can all surely think of several groups/races/countries where generalizations would be destructive of the good vibe we try to preserve here, especially since we have such a diverse group of members from every corner of the globe. We recognize that all of what was recently said was said in good fun, but I hope everyone can understand why we want to steer clear of discussions that could lead to more negative venting.

Sometimes people whose comments are deleted go off in a huff, and that is NOT our intent. So I am glad that @good_old_shoes took this all in the spirit it was offered. And if members disagree or have questions about our decisions, writing a PM is easy and we will respond.

This thread made me start thinking about the cultural stereotypes that have emerged on the forum and asking myself whether we have been consistent in our approach. And it is true that we have not deleted the many comments about how the Portuguese people are the kindest and most helpful people in the world, but seemingly undergo a personality change when they get behind the wheel of a car. So there is admittedly a difficult line here, but we do try hard to keep things positive.

 

[margievictoria]

I only walked the Camino Frances in 2006 but have done four Caminos in total (the last being the Camino Portugues in 2020). My experience is that "Camino Families" tend to be welcoming. Those with limited language skills may be limited to a smaller community of pilgrims but very many travel alone and start at different points along the way. If one is unable to coincide with people for more than one day, however, there will likely not be the time or common experience needed to form meaningful relationships. Such fellowship really only grows after coming across one another and staying in some hostels or breaking bread together over a period of time...

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

The Camino is your Camino. You make of it what you want. It is your attitude that makes the experience great or negative.

 

[natefaith]

And it is true that we have not deleted the many comments about how the Portuguese people are the kindest and most helpful people in the world, but seemingly undergo a personality change when they get behind the wheel of a car.

You just described my better half.

 

[peregrina2000]

You just described my better half.

And for the record, let’s note that he is NOT Portuguese.

 

[JabbaPapa]

erm, they are about as cliquey and impenetrable, or as gregarious and porous as they choose to be, and as they prefer ?

 

[CAJohn]

I walked alone. I had planned to walk alone and not try to walk with other people so that I could use my own pace and avoid injuries.

That being said, I am a social person. I became part of a loose Camino Family that was mostly tied together through WhatsApp. We shared pictures and experiences. We let each other know where we were so that we could meet up for meals or drinks. People ahead alerted others of obstacles or problems or albergues to avoid or definitely stay at.

We cheered each other along. And we did get together, but is was a very big group and very loose. We had Americans, Brits, French Canadians, Germans, at least one person from the Baltics, etc. The WhatsApp language was English, but that was not the first language of a significant minority of our group. Even after some had finished and left Spain, they were cheering the arrivals of that last members of the group to the 100 km marker, Santiago, etc.

People kept getting added along the way, including past Sarria and most of us started at St Jean Pied de Port.

I also speak several languages and pursued interactions with French and German pilgrims as well as Spanish speaking pilgrims and locals. I think it enriched my experience.

I did not know anything about this concept of Camino Family before going. But being committed to walking in the way that was best for me and being open to the experience and interactions worked quite well.

 

[dick bird]

We may be kind of trigger happy when it comes to deleting references to cultural stereotypes because of how threads have gone south in the past. You can all surely think of several groups/races/countries where generalizations would be destructive of the good vibe we try to preserve here, especially since we have such a diverse group of members from every corner of the globe. We recognize that all of what was recently said was said in good fun, but I hope everyone can understand why we want to steer clear of discussions that could lead to more negative venting.

Sometimes people whose comments are deleted go off in a huff, and that is NOT our intent. So I am glad that @good_old_shoes took this all in the spirit it was offered. And if members disagree or have questions about our decisions, writing a PM is easy and we will respond.

This thread made me start thinking about the cultural stereotypes that have emerged on the forum and asking myself whether we have been consistent in our approach. And it is true that we have not deleted the many comments about how the Portuguese people are the kindest and most helpful people in the world, but seemingly undergo a personality change when they get behind the wheel of a car. So there is admittedly a difficult line here, but we do try hard to keep things positive.

I can speak with some authority here, having lived in Portugal for three years and I can endorse the view that they really are among the kindest and most helpful people in the world. I can also endorse the view that driving standards in Portugal are not of the highest, not only that but pretty well every Portuguese person will cheerfully, or in embarrassment, admit it. But I drove there for all of those three years and lived to tell the tale so they can't be that bad.

 

[RJM]

I recall one Camino Frances I walked where for several days I saw a group of young pilgrims, in their early twenties I would guess, that were walking together. From what I could tell they had not started together and were from different countries. They stayed in the same albergue as me a few times. One of the peregrinas in the group seemed to be somewhat ignored by the others and I noticed she was trying hard to stay in the clique, sometimes running down the Camino to keep up with them. There was a fair amount of rain on that Frances and I remember that particular young peregrina would walk with a bright, almost fluorescent green umbrella. Couldn't miss it and I thought it was a good idea to have for visibility around roadways etc. Well one morning I found that umbrella (rolled up and in its cloth tubular bag) lying on the Camino path. Nobody around. As they were ahead of me it was quite obvious it had fallen off that peregrina's pack. I retrieved it and figured I would eventually see her and give it to her as more rain was in the forecast and she would need it. I did not see her the entire day, but I did see three of the members of he group she had been around. I approached them with the umbrella and asked if they knew anyone who had lost it (rhetorical) and they looked at each other first and then said no. I wasn't surprised by the answer and just said ok, and continued on. I guess they didn't want to carry it for her. A couple of days later I left the umbrella on an albergue donativo table and actually never saw that peregrina again.
I suppose that is one case where a Camino family becomes an obnoxious, high school kind of a clique. That would definitely not be an aspect of life I would want to be a part of on the Camino.

 

[Friend from Barquinha]

Thru-hikers on the Appalachian Trail have a saying: hike your own hike (HYOH). Hike by yourself and you will interact much more with the locals. As Leonardo da Vinci said, “While you are alone you are completely yourself; and if you are accompanied by even one other person you are but half yourself.”

This really resonated; the same was true in another totally different, but in some ways parallel, context: offshore travel in a sailboat.

Some people were really big on "buddy-boating;" always having another, or a group of, sailboats that you moved with, in what was often a very hostile environment because of weather, topography, timing, etc.

Tempting, but having experienced both that choice, and the opposite of making one's own choices about where, when and how to move on, the concept of HYOH makes total sense to me.

That being said, preferences vary.

 

[IngridF]

Camino 'families' seem to be more of a Camino Frances phenomenon I think.
Probably due to the greater numbers of people.

I wouldn't stress about it.
There are both good and not so good aspects to Camino families.

On my first Camino, I was a rather loose member of two.
Only because I walked very slowly and stayed in private accommodation mainly.

I noticed some groups were very tight.
Often staying in the same place, eating together etc.
That can be nice or rather suffocating depending on your perspective.

My first 'family' was a great bunch of people. Maybe 20 all up.
I would see them every now and again and join them for meals etc.
There was probably a 'tight' group of 10 and others who would float in and out of the group like me.

I know some of the group walked the whole CF together...

As I was walking slowly I got left behind by that group.
And all the 'familiar' faces I knew had also moved on ahead of me.

At that time, I think I worked out 300 Pilgrims had started in St Jean the day I left.
So as you would expect, you get to know a lot of people, some by name, some by sight.

But by about 2 weeks, all of those people had moved ahead.

For a couple of days I actually felt quite lonely! LOL
Even though I was surrounded by lots of other Pilgrims.
Lonely in a crowd type of thing.
And of course many of these 'new' Pilgrims, had also already formed into loose groups.

So I ended up with my second family.

Again, great people.
A rather different, looser group, as many were staying in private accommodation.
But we all ended up on a Whatsapp group and would check in now and again, to see where people were staying and if anyone wanted to meet up for dinner.

And then after 10 days or so...........

I got left behind again LOL

I don't think I saw anyone from either group in Santiago.
They arrived well ahead of me.

So what is worth noting from these experiences?

1. Whilst I was a very loose 'member' of these groups, I usually walked alone due to my speed.
2. Often the most interesting people I met and those with whom I made the strongest connection, were also walking alone.
3. Catching up with the 'family' at dinner was fun, but I only did so maybe 25-30% of the time. Other times I was in a different town, or different part of town, or had made other arrangements.
4. You don't need to be in a Camino family to have a great Camino. In fact I would say, you might be better not being in one, as you'll make more of an effort to meet a broader range of people and you won't feel 'obliged' to walk to and stay in specific places.
5. In my last 100kms, I was down to about 10 kms per day due to injury. It took forever from Sarria! But I made a point of embracing it and chatting to many of the 'new' pilgrims who had started in Sarria. I met some amazing and inspiring people...
6. You must walk at your own pace. Don't try to match your pace / distance with others. (it leads to injury amongst other things) If you drop out of the 'family' you'll meet other people along the way.

Just some random thoughts and perspectives..........

Sorry, to answer your question specifically.

Camino “families” - how cliquey or impenetrable are they mid-way through a Camino?

Some might be, some aren't. Those I joined weren't.

But, why would you even worry about it?
On the more popular routes you'll always find someone to talk to. eat with....

But the Camino to me is more about the inner journey.
That's why my next one will be more remote

Yup, yup yuppp...lol going down memory lane.

 

[OnHellas]

I am very much a solo walker by intention. So I cannot speak from experience as a member of a 'camino family'. However my eyebrows do rise a little at the idea of someone who is prepared to go online to post his anger and frustration at his perceived exclusion from established friendship groups around him. Is being welcomed into such a group a right? Perhaps this man has been coming across as too emotionally needy, demanding or entitled to make easy and welcome company?

I on the other hand admire people who, whilst sharing their experiences, can be honest and open about how they felt at that time on that day.

 

[kelleymac]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

I walked with my son on most of my caminos, so we did not join a family. My son tends to walk faster than most, and I hustle to catch up. On the one walk I did walk alone (Le Puy to Conques), I did join a family-group off and on for a week. I liked them a lot-- I was the only one who did not speak French, but they were kind and good company. There were times however, when I found myself chafing at the bit at the pace they were setting. (I find it very difficult to walk up hills slowly, preferring to set a quick pace and then take a break when needed.) So, I was in and out of the group. I remember once I was ahead, but then stopped for a long break (with a few Australians and a beer), and the family-group pulled ahead. Then I was walking through the next village when Pierre popped his head of a door and said "Kate! We have supper ready for you! Pasta and garlic!" So, hey, how could I resist that?

Another time, past Sarria, I did try to join in with a camino family for a chat and was given the cold shoulder. But then I realized, that that group was realizing their time together was coming to an end and they were jealous of their time with each other. -- So I shrugged it off, and sat alone for a while that evening, enjoying my glass of wine by myself before turning in.

 

[Icacos]

As Leonardo da Vinci said, “While you are alone you are completely yourself; and if you are accompanied by even one other person you are but half yourself.”

This quote really resonates with me. But now I’m thinking about how we often refer to someone’s partner/spouse as their “better half.”

Hmmm, I find I’m really having to mull that one over.

 

[The Austrian]

On my first Camino I walked alongside this group of genuinely happy people. Not the whole way, but on and off we would meet up again and yes, the group dynamics described were there. Not overly so, but the odd event would make one go, Hmmmm.
I am still in touch with a few of them five years on. So, overwhelmingly good "family" memories.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

This was my first communal meal at Istvan's Corazon Puro guest house (no longer operating) in April 2015. I meet up yearly for a mini-reunion and a few shortish hikes with two of them as they live in the midwest, too.
The man in dark blue shirt got caught on the Napoleon route the night before with snow/slush after dark and stayed overnight in the stone hut.

 

[peregrina2000]

I am a hard core solo walker, but I like human contact and the interaction that comes from the “camino family.” I never have any expectations when I start walking because the baseline is that I am perfectly fine (though occasionally a bit lonely) if I don’t see any other pilgrims. Sometimes, a big group forms, like the 15 with whom I walked into Santiago on the Primitivo, sometimes a close knit threesome or fousome evolves, like the three I coalesced with on the Norte, or two French pilgrims on the Levante. And sometimes I remain on the fringes of the obvious “families,” but have good conversations with “family members” and occasionally share meals with them. It’s all a question of the serendipity of the personalities with whom you find yourself and your state of mind when you walk. And both of those things will probably change with every camino you will walk!

I think the camino family evolves organically, or not, so if you plan to walk alone, I think it is important to have made your peace with the fact that you may have a solitary walk. And if you don’t like this idea, then stay away from untraveled caminos and head for one of the top 2 or 3, where you are very likely to find kindred spirits given the numbers.

But I think the bottom line is that you just can’t push it, no matter how badly you want it to happen. Buen camino, Laurie

 

[movinmaggie]

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

Apologies for the awkwardly-worded title. I’m not sure how best to articulate my question. I was watching a recently uploaded YouTube video series by a guy walking solo along the Camino Francis. He was about two weeks into the walk, and was sharing with the viewers some of the experiences he had been having recently. He commented that he’s walking slower than most, as he’s taking a lot of photos and video. As a result, the people that he had started walking with and had made friends with at the beginning of the Camino were several days ahead of him now. He said that the people he’s meeting now are in their own little groups or cliques that they formed at the beginning of the Camino, and they tend to stick together, leaving him feeling like an outsider. He seemed quite frustrated at that moment and said it was “like f’ing high school”.

Question - is there value in adjusting your walking schedule to ensure you stick with the same basic group you started with? I appreciate there are too many variables involved to answer that question, but I guess I’m wondering if any others had experienced something similar to what I described above.

P.S. the frustration the guy was feeling seemed short-lived, and he was fine after that. He may have just been having a bad day and was over-stating the issue. But humans being human, it’s certainly behaviour I’ve seen in many other circumstances - a group of strangers thrown together form their own small groups, and they can be somewhat exclusive. So it’s not inconceivable that what this guy experienced is a common phenomenon.

I am a photographer, so my preference is to walk solo..but I still managed to make many wonderful connections. If I did walk with a group, I wouldn't expect them to stop and wait on me while I photographed a scene. I think it's easier just to take things as the come....

 

[FelicityausKanada]

Walk your own pace.

In my experience, you'll meet exactly the people you need to meet (not necessarily the ones you want to meet).

If you end up walking alone for some time, use that alone time for reflexion, meditation, whatever you want to call it. It's all part of the package. Don't try to force anything, adapt to the current situation.

If you walk with the expectation to be part of a fixed camino family all the way to the end, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It is not something you can plan. Just walk with an open mind, and amazing things can happen.

Most pilgrims, solo walkers as well as 'camino families' (even many organized tour group pilgrims!) are very open towards others. If someone is not, accept it, respect their boundaries.

It is very easy to connect with people on the camino, if you want to. Don't worry

Buen Camino!

This is exactly the advice I would give. Walk your own camino, at your own pace. You will begin to meet people like yourself. I’ve agonized about keeping up with new found friends, and felt sad at “losing” them. It’s too much. More recently I’ve walked at my own pace, met other (independent, strong, slightly prickly older women) walkers and felt blessed to walk alongside them for the time we shared the path. Be open, enjoy meeting people, let them go. Your fellowship will endure.

 

[movinmaggie]

This was my first communal meal at Istvan's Corazon Puro guest house (no longer operating) in April 2015. I meet up yearly for a mini-reunion and a few shortish hikes with two of them as they live in the midwest, too.
The man in dark blue shirt got caught on the Napoleon route the night before with snow/slush after dark and stayed overnight in the stone hut.
View attachment 116099

I too was there CC, in Sept 2015. What fantastic hosts - then to have the pleasure of Istvan driving us on the alternate route around the Pyrenees to St. Jean. The weather was perfect, the landcape stunning!

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I too was there CC, in Sept 2015. What fantastic hosts - then to have the pleasure of Istvan driving us on the alternate route around the Pyrenees to St. Jean. The weather was perfect, the landcape stunning!

That was our experience also, and we appreciated him driving us to SJPdP. It's a really great memory!

 

[ranthr]

After reading many posts here I´ve found out that may be I am not as strange that I thought, having not been in a caminofamily on any of my caminos and not wanted it either.
In ”old days” I liked the caminospirit that was caring about your fellow peregrinos, like asking if somebody was ok when passing, offering some water if needed, feeling that someone would find you and see you if you needed help. Hope that spirit is still there!

 

[domigee]

After reading many posts here I´ve found out that may be I am not as strange that I thought, having not been in a caminofamily on any of my caminos and not wanted it either.
In ”old days” I liked the caminospirit that was caring about your fellow peregrinos, like asking if somebody was ok when passing, offering some water if needed, feeling that someone would find you and see you if you needed help. Hope that spirit is still there!

I feel exactly like you

 

[La Brique Jaune]

Hi

I find your question very interesting, because it touches many aspects of the Camino. And I will answer differently...

Personally I had two best friends during my Camino and I stick with them during all my Camino (Hopefully and you will see why) . When I wanted to walk faster or making more kilometres I asked to them if they are agree. When they said to me they want to take a break I listen to them. When I or them wanted to go to the restaurant or making a detour to see an attraction we always be agree together. My feet was my best friends . So each members of group need to treat the others like I did with my feet by listening and respect them. I pretty sure a small group can achieve that, but each members must make some compromises/adjustments one or an another time to keep each others in the group. So for me, is worth it making some compromises but not pushing myself to much or getting blisters to stay in a group.

Being in walking group could be great, I did not experienced that. But what I know is when we say goodbye to someone/group a new person is free to come in our pilgrim life. And who know ? this person can bring us something we need. I understand is quite esoteric but I truly think on Camino is true. For me Camino means to be open to new possibilities. By walking in solo, we attire solo walkers and intimate, deep and real conversations emerge.

I started solo and walked most the time alone. My most emotional moments happened when I was alone and they could not happened if was I not alone. I really grateful, even for the hard one because they make me learn something, I can really identify it. Even as a solo walker I was able to eat with some others pilgrims, By saying Hi you will know if the person is receptive to eat with you. Looking for albergue with communal meals or do you want the half my orange ? work well too. You will find a way !

Walking alone...Walking with few people at the time, say goodbye, walk with these same people again..walking alone that was my* Camino. And at the end I realize I meet great people and I have now a new brother.

*edited to add my

 

[Felipe]

This is a very interesting thread, that reflects the wonderful diversity of Camino experiences.
I am a mostly (but not always) solo walker, but I very much enjoy joining pilgrims I have known and liked for a chat in albergues and, occasionally, diner. Sometimes we have agreed that certain albergue or restaurants looked good for next stage, but nobody considered that as a formal commitment. It has been a very loose community, with people joining or leaving the group. If you consider this as a "family" is ok, but I do not think this way

On the other side, I have met some groups that were quite closed and sometimes completely uninterested in meeting new people; typically, they have started together and belong to a linguistic or national community. I sometimes have been ignored at a table dinner, with my essays of engaging in a chat with members of a group going nowhere; it is not pleasant but not a big deal, either; I just take a mental note to avoid them next day. And I even sometimes pick some kind of strategy for avoiding groups with opinionated, annoying persons who are always looking for complying listeners. Fortunately, in the Camino, saying "Sorry, I enjoy your company, but I always walk alone" or sitting in another table at a restaurant is not considered rude.

Generally, I think that Camino blogs and posts have overstated the need of a "family", and new pilgrims come with the idea that they miss an important aspect of a pilgrimage if they fail to join a group, but this could be just me not being a particularly social person.