Camino Families

[Annie Little]

Mornin All

I am on a slow week day 5 .... Heading to Pamplona today .

I have not found my Camino family . Sure I talk to people but we all move on and go separate ways .

Maybe it's because I am not staying in albergue ..... I need to sleep to function .... And I need to function in other areas to .... So I stay separate for these reasons not to be separated .....

Also for my first week I am doing short days so I am in a human valley .... Walked 6 hrs yesterday on my own ..... Nothing wrong with that it was lovely .... But I did miss seeing others ahead and behind me ...I felt disconnected from the Flow . The first day out of Roncessvailes was lovely .... The air was crisp and full of excitement as well as apprehension. I enjoyed watching the human tide , hearing people's excited chatter , watching the different bodies and attires going by , stopping for coffee .

Yesterday I missed that BUT at the same time I also enjoyed the solitude ... A double edged sword . I know better than to try to keep up . I don't want to be in a hurry .

I will hold my new favourite word in my heart .... ULTREIA ... Onwards , forwards and well can do without upwards today thanks

ULTREIA
Anne

 

[C clearly]

The camino "family" gets overblown somewhat, as if it is a ready-made family that you just have to find! Some people meet up on Day 1 and never separate. For most, the group ebbs and flows and develops in a more low-key way. Some of us are not as much "joiners" as others. At my age, I am not really looking for another family, but I do enjoy making some camino friends and acquaintances. In some ways the relationships are particularly poignant because they are ephemeral - you meet someone, chat, and never know if you will ever see them again. You need to accept that in most cases you won't, so you must simply enjoy the moment.

I think it is true that staying in albergues will encourage camaraderie. Or, you can seek out the places where a number of pilgrims are having dinner, and ask to join them. Perhaps you get your own room in one of the private albergues that offers single or double rooms as well as dorm beds, especially one that might have a communal dinner. Or be daring one night, and sleep in a dorm! If you walk with people who are stopping in the same town as you, ask whether you can join them for dinner, even if you are staying in different lodging.

You are only on Day 5! You have traveled around the world! Let go of the expectations and enjoy the things you have mentioned. You may or may not make everlasting bonds with other people on this trip.

 

[Annie Little]

Haha yes I realised that an
" expectation" may have crept in .
I prefer not to have expectations .

ULTREIA
Anne

 

[SabsP]

Hi Annie ...I agree with C Clearly. Give yourself some time. And it is ALL good.
I myself never search for a Camino family, if it comes it comes...Maybe it will be one particular pilgrim you click with and that is good too.

My personal opinion : I have dear family and friends at home and I do not necessarily need a " new family ".
The pilgrim I had a good click with on my first Camino and I still meet one's a year here in our Low Countries and we tell each other that if we didn't stop together in that particular albergue in Obanos we would have never known of each other in the first place...

So yes Ultreia and Suseia for you...And enjoy the private rooms!

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

A sensible and steady start to your Camino.

I echo the posts above and suggest that you don't concern yourself with finding your Camino family. It tends to find you!

We walked a lot of our Camino slowly and out of step with compañeros whom we'd met on that exciting, noisy and colourful morning out of SJPdP. Yet we kept meeting up along the Way and ended up together in Santiago. As we'd exchanged phone numbers and emails because of a day 1 illness, we kept in touch electronically - just a note to say where we were, what we were up to and anything of interest on that stage.

We also didn't stay in many albergues but as we were off Brierley stages tended to meet up with lots of pilgrims at dinner or just walking about.

On the other hand, how fortunate you are to have experienced solitude when so many are caught up in tides of pilgrims.

Ultreïa!! You have miles to go yet.

 

[Waka]

I stayed in albergues and met a lot of people, but during the day I walked on my own. I would meet up with pilgrim in the evening over a meal and discuss the days journey. I don't think I had a camino family, I certainly had people who I met frequently and I came away from my journey with some real friend.
So don't worry if a camino family is meant to happen, it will happen, just take the journey at your pace and enjoy.

 

[Marion-SantiagoInLove]

You're your very first "family". And every single pilgrim passing by is Family!
Never really alone on the Way...
Here and now, enjoy!
Buen Camino!

 

[SYates]

The Camino tends to give us what we need, not necessarily what we expect ;-) Buen Camino, SY

 

[james walter purdum iv]

i was just getting my shit together at that point but there were 3 as i started out as one...this would grow tremendously over the next 32 days and culminate in a grand celebration in santiago. so do YOUR thing that is why you chose this walk! i used that on some pelegrinos that were impending my camino...its a nice way to say i'm moving on without you

 

[Felipe]

I have found many remarkable and interesting people in my Caminos -although I would not call them "family" (for good or for bad, you can't choose relatives...). With them, I frequenty share walks, talks, dinners, sunsets and good moments. Not that we stick always together, but many times we informally choose the same albergue, and when I arrive at a restaurant and they are there, they wave to call me. It feels pleasant....
But I also have found a few of really annoying persons that I tried to avoid as much as possible. Yes, this is rare, but it happens, too.
Most pilgrims are polite, helpful and nice, tend to engage in social interactions (as sharing a table with a complete stranger because "we are all pilgrims") much more easily than in "real" life, and after a while we recognize and greet each other, and make a little of casual talk. And that is all...no more, no less.
I actually enjoy the Camino social life. It flows, it is open, unexpected and changes every day. But I know there will be days where I will be alone (and that is fine to me, too)

 

[Annie Little]

Today was another awesome day .... The weather has been magnificent .... I walked alone and felt happiness , peace , bliss , made a decision about something that I needed to change in my life ....
People walked behind and in front and so I felt part of the flow . When I arrived in Pamplona there was a fabulous festival happening .... So I danced , drank and ate in the street with the Pamplonians

I asked a lady in the pharmacy what the celebration was for .... She smiled and shrugged as if to say " must there be a reason to celebrate " .... So I said you are celebrating LIFE ? ? And she smiled

 

[AdventureBecca]

can do without upwards today thanks

ULTREIA
Anne

Haha! I remember THAT feeling well

I second (or third or fourth?) the sentiment expressed by many in this thread... and also by you in another thread ("Don't walk the Camino, unless it's your Way") ...the Camino will be whatever you need it to be, if you just let it. So I wouldn't be too worried about a Camino Family if I were you. If a Camino Family is right for you, the Camino will bring it to you all on it's own. Or maybe the Camino has other things in store for you!

Buen Camino!

 

[Mark Lee]

The whole "Camino Family" thing is definitely overrated. I think a lot of that comes from the movie, The Way which centers around a "Camino Family". People see that and think that's how it should be done. Every time I did the CF inevitably I walked with various groups of fellow pilgrims, sometimes even for several days, but eventually I'd want some "me time" and walk alone. I don't always like to walk at someone else's pace, or necessarily want to stay where they want to stay, or eat, etc. Then you walk a bit more and meet new people and the cycle goes on. It's really cool and you see everybody again in Santiago anyway.

 

[C clearly]

For about a week I was loosely with a wonderful group of people that had formed - the nicest people you could pick if you were picking a family. It included a couple who took almost parental roles, a grandfather person, several young people and a few hangers-on like me, who might have been cousins or aunts/uncles. We all seemed to be at summer camp together in Spain!

Endearing though they were, I felt it wasn't the experience I was looking for, so I made a point of hanging back for a couple of days to disconnect from them and have a more independent pilgrimage.

In the end, I had to leave the camino early that year because my real family needed me.

 

[Priscilla NC]

I did not have a Camino family per se, but around day 5 I found someone to walk with (well, we tended to stay at albergues together, she had done previous Caminos and knew where the good albergues were, and our walking paces were different). After a few days, she took a bus from Belorado to Burgos to meet other friends. We met for one day in Muxia.

But then a few days later I fell in with a couple of women who were my companions in walking for about 3 weeks. We didn't always walk together -- we knew when we needed solitude and when we needed company. I guess you could say that this was a Camino family, I tend to shy away from that word. I'm still in contact with these people.

One of the joys was bumping into people along the way that I had met far earlier in the journey. One person, whom I met at Beilari in SJPP, I didn't run into until Santiago, in front of the cathedral.

I guess that, to me, the 'family' consisted of all those who shared the journey -- and not necessarily at the same time. I'm in an active Camino group where I live, they are part of my Camino family. And so are many of you on this forum!

Ultreia,
Priscilla

 

[alipilgrim]

If you've seen the movie "The Way", you might remember that the Martin Sheen character was very reluctant to walk with others, he suffered their company till almost the end. The woman character was not a happy camper either but stuck with the guys because although she wanted privacy, she didn't want to be alone. The Irish guy didn't show up until several days along the road. My point being: Camino families are like real life, some are warm & inclusive from the get-go, others have issues that have to be worked out, and some just need to have all the members around at the right time and in the right mind-set, to become tight. Just because you haven't found a family yet, doesn't mean you won't. The important thing is for you to be happy and at peace whether you do the Camino alone or in a "family".

 

[domigee]

I'm not sure what a 'camino family' is... I've never had one . But I met people, sometimes only once, who brought me something... Who enriched my life...
Some I will never meet again (or unlikely!), some I am still in contact with....
All very much remembered I just hope others can say the same about me, who knows?

 

[Annie Little]

My post was a " musing " really not a concern

Next time I will post about something truly significant and important ................ Pintxos ..... ..... I love them .... And Pamplona truly turned the party on today ... Lucky I am having a rest day tomorrow .... These people REALLY know how to party ....

ULTREIA ... Onwards and upwards .... Well only to bed this time ...

 

[C clearly]

My post was a " musing " really not a concern

It is certainly worth musing about. We all enjoyed participating!