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Camino nonsense, jokes and funnies.

T

Tigger

Guest
This is a place to post anecdotes, jokes, silly things and generally amusing comments.

I will start:

My tenant downstairs is intrigued about my coming trip to walk in Spain and is very supportive of my training and preparations.

Yesterday she asked 'Where will you be staying, have you booked?'

Her face was a study when I told her not only had I not booked accommodation, had no intention of doing so and that it was all good. I actually lie a little as we have booked some accommodation in Madrid for getting over the jetlag of a 24+ hour trip from Australia. After that we are free agents.
 
Technical backpack for day trips with backpack cover and internal compartment for the hydration bladder. Ideal daypack for excursions where we need a medium capacity backpack. The back with Air Flow System creates large air channels that will keep our back as cool as possible.

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- Wow, 3 weeks in Portugal and Spain? You must be taking an enormous suitcase!
- Not really, 3 tshirts and 3 socks do not take much space.
- You are not going to spend 3 weeks overseas with 3 tshirts, are you?
- Yeah, I probably could do with 2, but decided to be comfortable.
 
It's when I tell folk about the occassional albergues with double bunks cheek by jowl where you can be sleeping in what is virtually a double bed with a complete stranger that the glazed look comes over their eyes and the questions about alternative accommodations start. :p
 
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The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
It's when I tell folk about the occassional albergues with double bunks cheek by jowl where you can be sleeping in what is virtually a double bed with a complete stranger that the glazed look comes over their eyes and the questions about alternative accommodations start. :p

It is best to try not to take a dorm bunk set side by side with another unless you truly know your bunk-mate; if you are sleeping next to a total stranger do at least introduce yourself! Generally it all works out as everyone sleeps in their own allotted space like peas in a pod. Nevertheless a few unhappy times I have had to find another bunk in the middle of the night due to a consistently overactive neighboring pilgrim who forgot where he was (and that I was old enough to be his grandmother) as he zealously thrashed while sleeping into 'my' bunk space!!
 
2011. Shocked friend from church seeing us, with our rucksacks, waiting at our home bus stop as we set off for the ferry to Santander.
"Is that all you are taking?"
Us - "Yes, it is everything" :)

2015. Preparing our packing for Spain to walk but this time also taking the car. Struggling to put things in a suitcase and taking empty packs for walking days. Gave up. Packed the rucksacks and then a small carry on bag for the ferry. Felt we knew then what we were doing. :)
 
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It usually takes me a couple of days to hit my Camino "routine", early to bed and early to rise - waking up at different hours going to sleep at weird hours, constant companiopnship, and despite all that training the feet are quite up to par. All that quickly passes and Camino normality returns. Then after say, Logroño, we start to see the new pilgrims joining us, those who didn't start from STPP or Roncesvalles or Pamplona. They too have not hit a routine often their first time around and are clueless, clueless except for all things relating to how much their feet hurt. Evenings in the albergue we often witness limps, staggers, and amazing hops, innocents tottering around fighting to preserve their feet with creams, ointments, sprays, bandaids, massage, and moleskin. Now, if we could find the right composer, one who understands music and the Camino as well, not too rhythmic mind you, we could put all these gyrations together together and call it "The Santiago Shuffle" or "The Camino Shuffle"! Number One on the Hit Parade for sure! Give it a chance

 
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It usually takes me a couple of days to hit my Camino "routine", early to bed and early to rise - waking up at different hours going to sleep at weird hours, constant companiopnship, and despite all that training the feet are quite up to par. All that quickly passes and Camino normality returns. Then after say, Logroño, we start to see the new pilgrims joining us, those who didn't start from STPP or Roncesvalles or Pamplona. They too have not hit a routine often their first time around and are clueless, clueless except for all things relating to how much their feet hurt. Evenings in the albergue we often witness limps, staggers, and amazing hops, innocents tottering around fighting to preserve their feet with creams, ointments, sprays, bandaids, massage, and moleskin. Now, if we could find the right composer, one who understands music and the Camino as well, not too rhythmic mind you, we could put all these gyrations together together and call it "The Santiago Shuffle" or "The Camino Shuffle"! Number One on the Hit Parade for sure! Give it a chance

Oh, to be that young and flexible!
 
It's when I tell folk about the occassional albergues with double bunks cheek by jowl where you can be sleeping in what is virtually a double bed with a complete stranger that the glazed look comes over their eyes and the questions about alternative accommodations start. :p
I only saw the double bunk setup twice. At first I thought they were "too close for comfort", and luckily was able to get one of the few single bunks against a wall. But then a married couple arrived a little later and I thought it was nice for them to be able to sleep side by side. The next time in a xunta in Galicia I was assigned a double bunk next to a stranger. Luckily the place didn't fill up that night and we were all able to separate to our own area by ourselves.
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
I only saw the double bunk setup twice. At first I thought they were "too close for comfort", and luckily was able to get one of the few single bunks against a wall. But then a married couple arrived a little later and I thought it was nice for them to be able to sleep side by side. The next time in a xunta in Galicia I was assigned a double bunk next to a stranger. Luckily the place didn't fill up that night and we were all able to separate to our own area by ourselves.
Santa Maria in Leon and the so-called Pilgrims Pavillion (avoid at all cost, would rather sleep out in the rain) just before Palas de Rei easily come to mind.
 
€2,-/day will present your project to thousands of visitors each day. All interested in the Camino de Santiago.
Thanks for the tip. I'm getting my Brierley book out now and marking these two places with "Avoid, unless desperate!" o_O

Unlike Scruffy I have always found the Pilgrim Pavillion /Os Chacotes comfortable.
See this Gronze.com citation
https://www.gronze.com/galicia/lugo/palas-rei/albergue-peregrinos-os-chacotes

It is located east of Palas de Rei and next to a favorite restaurant spot of mine, La Cabana, which also offers a very good rate for for pilgrim rooms. The basic atmosphere is a cluster of timber cabins. Always open one of their delights is a large veranda where one can eat, drink and check the web. The daily menu del dia is always tasty and the staff are very friendly. Do try it!
Here is their web
http://www.complejolacabana.com/.
 
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St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
I told my friends I was returning to the Camino.
They looked puzzled and said "Why? Didn't you already get all straight with God?"
As if.
I am God's Comic Relief.
I can see him now.
(looking down from between two fluffy clouds) "Mary, Joseph! Come here! You've got to see what she's doing now! Oh girl put that down! Peter, James, come here lads! Lookie there! No, stop laughing and look! That's the fourth Guardian Angel she's sent to the looney bin!"

Did you just read God's words with an Irish Accent? I knew he was! I knew it!
 
Unlike Scruffy I have always found the Pilgrim Pavillion /Os Chacotes comfortable.
See this Gronze.com citation
https://www.gronze.com/galicia/lugo/palas-rei/albergue-peregrinos-os-chacotes

It is located east of Palas de Rei and next to a favorite restaurant spot of mine, La Cabana, which also offers a very good rate for for pilgrim rooms. The basic atmosphere is a cluster of timber cabins. Always open one of their delights is a large veranda where one can eat, drink and check the web. The daily menu del dia is always tasty and the staff are very friendly. Do try it!
Here is their web
http://www.complejolacabana.com/.
It just goes to show how many of us have different experiences, even if staying at the same place or eating in the same restaurant. Thank you for your input. I will add in a question mark (?) next to the "avoid" I had written in my guidebook. Your restaurant tip sounds awesome!
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
If that was the only option I thinking that sleeping head to toe would work best.
Ah...well...that is...in a perfect world head to toe might work - on the Camino we find 35k a day pilgrims and Ben Gay ointment pilgrims - wouldn't want the toes of either type in my face, all night long.
 
It is best to try not to take a dorm bunk set side by side with another unless you truly know your bunk-mate; if you are sleeping next to a total stranger do at least introduce yourself! Generally it all works out as everyone sleeps in their own allotted space like peas in a pod. Nevertheless a few unhappy times I have had to find another bunk in the middle of the night due to a consistently overactive neighboring pilgrim who forgot where he was (and that I was old enough to be his grandmother) as he zealously thrashed while sleeping into 'my' bunk space!!

I have been looking a youtube videos about the "pod hotels" in Japan. I can see where those could be almost seen as the height of luxury!
 
I walked the VdlP last year and stayed in a municipal albergue with three single beds and one double bed. It filled quickly, but then a Spanish woman arrived in search of a bed. To resolve the problem, I offered to sleep in the double bed with a 71-year old Czech guy I'd been walking with for a number of days. My only stipulation was that it had to be on a head-to-toe basis.

All went well until the Czech guy went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Somehow, he got disoriented on his return to the pitch-black room and got into bed with the Spanish woman. Great panic, confusion and hollering ensued + there was very little sleep had in the single or double beds for the rest of the night.
 
St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
I remember reading an older woman's account of how she told her adult daughters that she was going to go across Spain on El Camino de Santiago. She was surprised that they didn't react badly even if they thought she was a little crazy. A later discussion caused the daughters to panic when they realized that Mom was going to walk across Spain, not drive across in an El Camino.
 
I have been looking a youtube videos about the "pod hotels" in Japan. I can see where those could be almost seen as the height of luxury!

Casa Ibarrola in Pamplona has pod style bunks, each with a locker, light, electrical outlet and pull down shade.

A later discussion caused the daughters to panic when they realized that Mom was going to walk across Spain, not drive across in an El Camino.

That's hilarious!!:)
 
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€149,-
I told my friends I was returning to the Camino.
They looked puzzled and said "Why? Didn't you already get all straight with God?"
As if.
I am God's Comic Relief.
I can see him now.
(looking down from between two fluffy clouds) "Mary, Joseph! Come here! You've got to see what she's doing now! Oh girl put that down! Peter, James, come here lads! Lookie there! No, stop laughing and look! That's the fourth Guardian Angel she's sent to the looney bin!"

Did you just read God's words with an Irish Accent? I knew he was! I knew it!
I love this post and it is so apt for me today as I was caring for my four year old grandson. He had done a truly splendid drawing and was telling me all about the elements in it. There was a high rise apartment building with a wonderful elevator or escalator, some mountains with a holes for bunny rabbits to live, and a beach far far away in another country. When it came to the clouds he said, and I quote " You have to be really careful to close your eyes when you bump into a cloud. You can get fluff in them really easily."
He has also just explained that the blue colouring at the top of the picture wasn't sky, it was water because you can walk on it.
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
t is best to try not to take a dorm bunk set side by side with another unless you truly know your bunk-mate; if you are sleeping next to a total stranger do at least introduce yourself! Generally it all works out as everyone sleeps in their own allotted space like peas in a pod. Nevertheless a few unhappy times I have had to find another bunk in the middle of the night due to a consistently overactive neighboring pilgrim who forgot where he was (and that I was old enough to be his grandmother) as he zealously thrashed while sleeping into 'my' bunk space!!

I have several times woken up in albergues with a man's arm around the outside of my sleeping bag, clutching me to his chest.

Only once it WASN'T my husband, and the Italian gentleman was very apologetic when I elbowed him in his stomach. I think he missed his wife...
 
Most memorable red face moment -- in a municipal produce market somewhere on the LePuy route, across the stall I see a French pilgrim whom I haven't seen in a few days. He yells out at me (in French)-- am I going to see you in my bedroom tonight? My French is not good enough to compose an answer, so I just ignored him and the stares of all the shoppers around me, who obviously were unaware of the logistics of walking the Chemin.

Most frequently gotten question from friends who think I'm crazy -- but what do you do when it rains? The answer -- same thing that I do every other day, I walk -- is totally unsatisfactory to the vast majority of my friends, who must be very pampered!
 
Get a spanish phone number with Airalo. eSim, so no physical SIM card. Easy to use app to add more funds if needed.
I think it was in Naranja that I shared a "double bunk". I didn't really care I was so tired. I have no memories of problems, or even who was asleep next to me. --We had walked 35km that day, made dinner, fed some other pilgrims, and spent a few hours at a fiesta that night.
 
Most memorable red face moment -- in a municipal produce market somewhere on the LePuy route, across the stall I see a French pilgrim whom I haven't seen in a few days. He yells out at me (in French)-- am I going to see you in my bedroom tonight?

On my first time along the Camino Frances. Very small and basic refugio somewhere on the meseta. Just one small dorm of about 10 beds, one toilet and one communal shower room without curtains or screens: just shower heads along one wall and clothes hooks on the opposite wall. Not even a door between the dorm and the showers - just a door-shaped hole in the wall. Empty when I arrived. I washed my clothes, hung them up to dry, and then went for a shower. Mid-way through I turned away from the water stream to lather up all over. Took me a minute or so. When I turned back to rinse off I discovered I was no longer alone. A young Spanish woman was standing under a shower at the other end of the room. She wished me a polite "Hola! Buenas tardes!" and carried on totally unconcerned. Not sure if I was red faced or not as I don't recall there being any mirrors about. I think I must have been though :oops:
 
The 2024 Camino guides will be coming out little by little. Here is a collection of the ones that are out so far.
Few random funnies, of the repeatable kind: I've had a drunk hospitalero run into the dorm I was dozing off in, kiss me goodnight, and run out again. :eek: I've had a dreadfully unflattering photo taken of me in a poncho in the pouring rain with a thunderous look on my face, tons of people laughed at it, and then turned up in the next town to find it already the screen saver on the public computer. I've stayed at a monastery where the monks were supposedly on a vow of silence, but took half an hour to check each person in because they would not stop yakking [recognise that place anyone?]. Haunted for days by a guy who was such an epically bad snorer he was secretly nicknamed El Jabali, and actually started to plan my accommodation entirely around avoiding him - I would arrive somewhere and instead of crashing out would have to stalk where he was before I checked in anywhere, until everyone caught on to doing that so it turned into a surreal game of Avoid the Jabali but don't let him realise everyone is avoiding him. Stayed at a convent strangely equipped with a basketball court where the nuns' parlour had a mirrored glass window looking out on the court. Got on a bus furtively only to have someone sarcastically shout from the back 'Buen Camino'! Recently I walked into Santiago, but nearly too late to pick up my luggage from the post office before it closed for the weekend, so had to hail a cab in the city outskirts in front of about 200 pilgrims - the shame! There are many more but I have to spare the innocent and unfortunate.
 
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Few random funnies, of the repeatable kind: I've had a drunk hospitalero run into the dorm I was dozing off in, kiss me goodnight, and run out again. :eek: I've had a dreadfully unflattering photo taken of me in a poncho in the pouring rain with a thunderous look on my face, tons of people laughed at it, and then turned up in the next town to find it already the screen saver on the public computer. I've stayed at a monastery where the monks were supposedly on a vow of silence, but took half an hour to check each person in because they would not stop yakking [recognise that place anyone?]. Haunted for days by a guy who was such an epically bad snorer he was secretly nicknamed El Jabali, and actually started to plan my accommodation entirely around avoiding him - I would arrive somewhere and instead of crashing out would have to stalk where he was before I checked in anywhere, until everyone caught on to doing that so it turned into a surreal game of Avoid the Jabali but don't let him realise everyone is avoiding him. Stayed at a convent strangely equipped with a basketball court where the nuns' parlour had a mirrored glass window looking out on the court. Got on a bus furtively only to have someone sarcastically shout from the back 'Buen Camino'! Recently I walked into Santiago, but nearly too late to pick up my luggage from the post office before it closed for the weekend, and had to hail a cab in the city outskirts in front of about 200 pilgrims - the shame! There are many more but I have to spare the innocent and unfortunate.
I was warned of an American guy named Larry who kept the whole albergue up with his snoring and farting. He was a fast walker, and I am a slow one, so on the one day I heard his name called across a bar I knew to fall back and regroup.
 
Few random funnies, of the repeatable kind: I've had a drunk hospitalero run into the dorm I was dozing off in, kiss me goodnight, and run out again. :eek: I've had a dreadfully unflattering photo taken of me in a poncho in the pouring rain with a thunderous look on my face, tons of people laughed at it, and then turned up in the next town to find it already the screen saver on the public computer. I've stayed at a monastery where the monks were supposedly on a vow of silence, but took half an hour to check each person in because they would not stop yakking [recognise that place anyone?]. Haunted for days by a guy who was such an epically bad snorer he was secretly nicknamed El Jabali, and actually started to plan my accommodation entirely around avoiding him - I would arrive somewhere and instead of crashing out would have to stalk where he was before I checked in anywhere, until everyone caught on to doing that so it turned into a surreal game of Avoid the Jabali but don't let him realise everyone is avoiding him. Stayed at a convent strangely equipped with a basketball court where the nuns' parlour had a mirrored glass window looking out on the court. Got on a bus furtively only to have someone sarcastically shout from the back 'Buen Camino'! Recently I walked into Santiago, but nearly too late to pick up my luggage from the post office before it closed for the weekend, so had to hail a cab in the city outskirts in front of about 200 pilgrims - the shame! There are many more but I have to spare the innocent and unfortunate.
From your comments about the snoring guy El Jabali, it would almost be worth fake snoring to get an albergue or at least a room, to oneself?
 
I was warned of an American guy named Larry who kept the whole albergue up with his snoring and farting. He was a fast walker, and I am a slow one, so on the one day I heard his name called across a bar I knew to fall back and regroup.

Oh dear! :eek:
clear.png

There seems to be no escaping Fart Larrys. Their influence is central.
Larry's bouquet can enrich both pilgrim feet and snore breath including the atmosphere around neighboring beds, especially above. :rolleyes: No necesita la botafumeiro.

*Fast Larry could've been pun.
 
Technical backpack for day trips with backpack cover and internal compartment for the hydration bladder. Ideal daypack for excursions where we need a medium capacity backpack. The back with Air Flow System creates large air channels that will keep our back as cool as possible.

€83,-
I walked the VdlP last year and stayed in a municipal albergue with three single beds and one double bed. It filled quickly, but then a Spanish woman arrived in search of a bed. To resolve the problem, I offered to sleep in the double bed with a 71-year old Czech guy I'd been walking with for a number of days. My only stipulation was that it had to be on a head-to-toe basis.

All went well until the Czech guy went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Somehow, he got disoriented on his return to the pitch-black room and got into bed with the Spanish woman. Great panic, confusion and hollering ensued + there was very little sleep had in the single or double beds for the rest of the night.
Now that is a funny Camino story !!!
 
A selection of Camino Jewellery
@Tigger that's very good. I remember having conversations with several random people round about O Cebreiro where we decided that John Brierley, by this point, had lost the plot. Truth was, we had.

And the Northern vs Southern European thing was never more starkly demonstrated than when a Dutch woman and I were chatting and laughing at great length while standing up to our necks in an unheated outdoor pool on the Camino del Norte. During that time, several Spanish people (mostly male) attempted to enter the pool, nearly died, and immediately withdrew to have coffee on the patio.
 
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On my first time along the Camino Frances. Very small and basic refugio somewhere on the meseta. Just one small dorm of about 10 beds, one toilet and one communal shower room without curtains or screens: just shower heads along one wall and clothes hooks on the opposite wall. Not even a door between the dorm and the showers - just a door-shaped hole in the wall. Empty when I arrived. I washed my clothes, hung them up to dry, and then went for a shower. Mid-way through I turned away from the water stream to lather up all over. Took me a minute or so. When I turned back to rinse off I discovered I was no longer alone. A young Spanish woman was standing under a shower at the other end of the room. She wished me a polite "Hola! Buenas tardes!" and carried on totally unconcerned. Not sure if I was red faced or not as I don't recall there being any mirrors about. I think I must have been though :oops:

Luxury!!! Your description reminds me of Monty Python's hilarious "4 Yorkshire men"" sketch. I'm sure it's on You Tube if you care to check it out.
 
Luxury!!! Your description reminds me of Monty Python's hilarious "4 Yorkshire men"" sketch. I'm sure it's on You Tube if you care to check it out.

Thanks! I'm very familiar with the "Four Yorkshiremen" sketch. As a student I lived for a while in an annexe to a hall of residence which we all called "the shoebox" :) Just as funny, just as silly and just as Yorkshire is Tony Capstick's fantastic monologue called "Capstick comes home" - similar idea but set to music. It's the reason why I often think of some annoying person as a "great useless, spawny-eyed, parrot-faced wazzock". Might be a bit lost on anyone who doesn't know Yorkshire or remember the old Hovis adverts though :)

 
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The 2024 Camino guides will be coming out little by little. Here is a collection of the ones that are out so far.
Attempting to speak broken English with a Spanish/Portuguese accent in the hope you'll be understood better, even though the Spaniard/Portuguese in question doesn't speak one word of English!

p.s. I'm currently learning some Portuguese!
 
I told my friends I was returning to the Camino.
They looked puzzled and said "Why? Didn't you already get all straight with God?"
As if.
I am God's Comic Relief.
I can see him now.
(looking down from between two fluffy clouds) "Mary, Joseph! Come here! You've got to see what she's doing now! Oh girl put that down! Peter, James, come here lads! Lookie there! No, stop laughing and look! That's the fourth Guardian Angel she's sent to the looney bin!"

Did you just read God's words with an Irish Accent? I knew he was! I knew it!

God suddenly appeared to me as Jiminy Cricket "Come 'ere! . . . there's more!"
 
The one from Galicia (the round) and the one from Castilla & Leon. Individually numbered and made by the same people that make the ones you see on your walk.
I was sitting at breakfast in Belorado with a couple and we were talking about walking with our spouses. I asked the question of them both, "Is it hard to walk at the same pace?" They answered simultaneously, she said, 'No." he said, "Yes." I guess we know who was doing the adjusting for the other. ;-)
 
On our recent Camino Portuguese, in the small town of Grijo, we were invited to dinner next door to the alburgue by a family who were known to do this for pilgrims for a small fee. It was the weekend and the extended family were all there from Grandparents to grandchildren, aunts and uncles. As the dinner was consumed along with copious amounts of wine and then port, the uncles wife became a little too enamored of my husband. Upon leaving she was grabbing and feeling his chest muscles and laughing and saying things in Portuguese that none of us could understand. It was pouring rain when we left and insisted we didn't need to wait for someone to get us an umbrella.
 
On our recent Camino Portuguese, in the small town of Grijo, we were invited to dinner next door to the alburgue by a family who were known to do this for pilgrims for a small fee. It was the weekend and the extended family were all there from Grandparents to grandchildren, aunts and uncles. As the dinner was consumed along with copious amounts of wine and then port, the uncles wife became a little too enamored of my husband. Upon leaving she was grabbing and feeling his chest muscles and laughing and saying things in Portuguese that none of us could understand. It was pouring rain when we left and insisted we didn't need to wait for someone to get us an umbrella.

Don't write these things. My wife will read them and not let me go
LOL
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
I think back to my days in boot camp.
80 of us stuffed into one big room, twin bunk beds.
I have a good idea as to what part of the Camino adventure I'll be giving up.

I think back to my days in boot camp.
80 of us stuffed into one big room, twin bunk beds.
I have a good idea as to what part of the Camino adventure I'll be giving up.
Speaking of adventures.....I started reading one JUST last night.....Paris to the Pyrenees....which am planning to walk next month.....hope that "auberges" are in the book as well...... : )
 
It's when I tell folk about the occassional albergues with double bunks cheek by jowl where you can be sleeping in what is virtually a double bed with a complete stranger that the glazed look comes over their eyes and the questions about alternative accommodations start. :p
It's nice to be a kid again! Some just aren't interested in going there again
 
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@Bradypus there's a certain contingent on this forum who think it was better in the 'good old days'. The video reminded me that I once stayed in an albergue on the Meseta where the malfunctioning earth toilet had a notice on the door that said 'Shittinghouse - out of order' and we had to 'go' in a field, where a great many people had 'gone before'. The young couple who ran it cooked a stew on a camp stove which we ate in the pitch dark (I don't think there was electricity) and then had a blazing row, which the pilgrims could not escape from, as we were all in the one room. Some old geezer played a wooden flute and it was all very earthy. The place was known as being 'a bit rum' and therefore attracted a strange crowd who longed for an authentic experience.
 
Speaking of adventures.....I started reading one JUST last night.....Paris to the Pyrenees....which am planning to walk next month.....hope that "auberges" are in the book as well...... : )

I'm gonna read that book. Thanks for mentioning it
 
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