Dealing with Camino Regrets: My Personal Story

[MickMac]

I have walked Camino Frances 6 times. I have many Regrets in life, as have we all, one of my biggest Regrets is the ending of my caminos my lack of empathy with comrades and friends I met along the way.
I have a bad personality trait I do not like goodbyes, which seems to others as ignorance.
I tend to just walk away from the comrades and do my own thing one minute in the crowd then gone.... I always feel sorry its over and a sence of deflation, so my apologies must do better in particular to my walking partners from England (US) and his partner from Mexico on my last Cámino in Santiago sorry.

 

[pepi]

I have walked Camino Frances 6 times. I have many Regrets in life, as have we all, one of my biggest Regrets is the ending of my caminos my lack of empathy with comrades and friends I met along the way.
I have a bad personality trait I do not like goodbyes, which seems to others as ignorance.
I tend to just walk away from the comrades and do my own thing one minute in the crowd then gone.... I always feel sorry its over and a sence of deflation, so my apologies must do better in particular to my walking partners from England (US) and his partner from Mexico on my last Cámino in Santiago sorry.

@MickMac, in a way this is the Camino, for many of us. I am a 6-timer too and have regrets of the same kind. The realization usually sets in long after returning to "normal life", in my case often when I finally get to edit my trip video or when I review pictures. For sure there are those people that I parted with very intentionally for a reason: No regrets whatsoever.
It's usually the quiet, nice, and interesting comrades that I somehow suddenly lost on the way, those I would have liked to know better. Often people with whom I shared only a fleeting exchange, even just an emphatic glimpse of an eye. But then we all have our agendas, concerns, and priorities. On the Camino, we become much more sensitive than in our everyday life.
Let it go, remember and smile when you do or when you look at your pictures.
Camino #7 will give us a chance to do it better!

 

[Meggins]

First Camino happily in Santiago and relishing next day in different clothes. I was sitting in the cafe watching Pilgrims arrive when suddenly it occurred to me that none of them were smiling and saying 'well done' to me. I felt very sad to realize that out of my walking gear I had lost my Pilgrim identity, was just another tourist sitting having coffee. It gave me a jolt & was a real regret! I too have been on the CF about 6 times and ever since I have still worn my walking clothes and hat & carried my day pack around for another day. Get big smiles & waves. ---)

 

[OzAnnie]

in particular to my walking partners from England (US) and his partner from Mexico on my last Cámino in Santiago sorr

Hi MickMac
There are many we pass on our walks and in life who we continue to remember with fondness.. often due experiences shared. It would interrupt the flow if we took details of everyone ?

In my mind., I like to think that I might be remembered similarly by them.

In your case amigo.,due to some great encounters with our group on the section of your first camino (SJPdP >Burgos) - we have been among the fortunate ones / able you keep in touch and keep memories alive.

Buen camino Michael and Thankyou for being a friend.

Annie

 

[Marc S.]

In my mind., I like to think that I might be remembered similarly by them.

You are.

 

[MickMac]

Hi MickMac
There are many we pass on our walks and in life who we continue to remember with fondness.. often due experiences shared. It would interrupt the flow if we took details of everyone ?

In my mind., I like to think that I might be remembered similarly by them.

In your case amigo.,due to some great encounters with our group on the section of your first camino (SJPdP >Burgos) - we have been among the fortunate ones / able you keep in touch and keep memories alive.

Buen camino Michael and Thankyou for being a friend.

Annie

It was my honour Annie.

 

[MickMac]

@MickMac, in a way this is the Camino, for many of us. I am a 6-timer too and have regrets of the same kind. The realization usually sets in long after returning to "normal life", in my case often when I finally get to edit my trip video or when I review pictures. For sure there are those people that I parted with very intentionally for a reason: No regrets whatsoever.
It's usually the quiet, nice, and interesting comrades that I somehow suddenly lost on the way, those I would have liked to know better. Often people with whom I shared only a fleeting exchange, even just an emphatic glimpse of an eye. But then we all have our agendas, concerns, and priorities. On the Camino, we become much more sensitive than in our everyday life.
Let it go, remember and smile when you do or when you look at your pictures.
Camino #7 will give us a chance to do it better!

Well said Pepi. my Regrets, have turned into guilt.

 

[RJM]

My only regret is that I didn't walk the Camino more times before this nasty pandemic spread across the earth.

 

[Oravasaari]

I too tend to exit situations as if tomorrow we’ll be back on the road together as per normal, even on our last day in SdC. That seems normal at the time even though as I walk away I know I’ll never see those people again. But that is a similar proposition to every day on the camino (unless waliking in defined group.) Also, apart from on my very first camino, I hardly ever remember to swap details with people. It never seems to be the right moment (and post-camino is not a place I ever think about much when in the moment.) I think part of it stems from knowing I’ll meet ”them” again on my next camino, ”them” being a similar crowd who’ll remind me of all those people from my past caminos. I also see my caminos as a luxurious period of freedom, so don’t really seek out groups or to actively make buddies and confirm to a schedule or plan however loose that may be. Those short friendships that do come along happen via serendipity, but I’m happy to let them slip away at the end of the road immortalised in all the great memories. Maybe it’s me naturally wanting to continue in the camino mindset even at the very end/ last day/evening? Works for me (and I don’t really think about it at the time), but I can see that it might seem a little bit odd to others who generally ”collect” people for connection on social media(s).

 

[Cicada]

I have walked Camino Frances 6 times. I have many Regrets in life, as have we all, one of my biggest Regrets is the ending of my caminos my lack of empathy with comrades and friends I met along the way.
I have a bad personality trait I do not like goodbyes, which seems to others as ignorance.
I tend to just walk away from the comrades and do my own thing one minute in the crowd then gone.... I always feel sorry its over and a sence of deflation, so my apologies must do better in particular to my walking partners from England (US) and his partner from Mexico on my last Cámino in Santiago sorry.

As "Old blue eyes" sang
"I did it my way"

 

[Lindsay from Scotland]

I too tend to exit situations as if tomorrow we’ll be back on the road together as per normal, even on our last day in SdC. That seems normal at the time even though as I walk away I know I’ll never see those people again. But that is a similar proposition to every day on the camino (unless waliking in defined group.) Also, apart from on my very first camino, I hardly ever remember to swap details with people. It never seems to be the right moment (and post-camino is not a place I ever think about much when in the moment.) I think part of it stems from knowing I’ll meet ”them” again on my next camino, ”them” being a similar crowd who’ll remind me of all those people from my past caminos. I also see my caminos as a luxurious period of freedom, so don’t really seek out groups or to actively make buddies and confirm to a schedule or plan however loose that may be. Those short friendships that do come along happen via serendipity, but I’m happy to let them slip away at the end of the road immortalised in all the great memories. Maybe it’s me naturally wanting to continue in the camino mindset even at the very end/ last day/evening? Works for me (and I don’t really think about it at the time), but I can see that it might seem a little bit odd to others who generally ”collect” people for connection on social media(s).

I love your attitude
If I can add two principles that work for me,
1: never grasp and 2: let the camino decide
Lindsay

 

[pasiño a pasiño]

no regrets/guilt
i think the way we were in the past, or how our decisions were at the time, was right, otherwise we would have done/ react in a different way. everything is intended to something or has a reason.
our experiences formed us, made us to what/who we are now.
i think it is important to be aware about our past, but non judgmental and take it as a gift, as something positive (even it seemed like the worst thing ever) who brought you to this point of view, who let receive you insight.
be aware of it, work on it (on you), love yourself.
it is never to late!

Dennis

 

[Canada Wanders]

My only regret, if you could even label it as such…was not knowing about this sooner. My life would have been very positively affected earlier…however, there is that school of thought that says these things happen when they are supposed to.
I am just glad my stubborn ways did not stop my wife’s ‘grand idea’ of walking across a country with a pack… which my initial response was”I have done that, and it was no fun…”, but my wise and beautiful wife told me “no one is going to shot at you jack ass…” and “ I think there will be red wine and crusty bread!” After that, I was all in, she was right, and and as so frequently happens…I was wrong!