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CaminoDebrita's Short Film SJPP to Roncesvalles

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Well done! More please! SY
Thanks so much! Just think...reading your packing guide helped me to prepare :) Isn't that cool?

I will be making about twenty more of these little clips. It's fun for me! I'm so glad someone watched this already. Thank you!
 

julia-t

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances 2015-17
Kumano Kodo March 2018
Camino Portuguese Valenca-SdC April 2018
Wonderful! I really enjoyed watching that, it brought back some lovely memories. Beautiful music too.
Looking forward to seeing the other short films...
 

zzotte

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
2012 Camino Frances, 2014 Lourdes to SDC, 2016 Camino del Norte
Thank you, Ah....it brings so much memories :)

zzotte
 
S

simply B

Guest
Well done! More please! SY

Yes! What @SYates said...

You almost exactly overlapped timing for my first walk.

And now, darn it ;), you have inspired me that no matter what - - I will go again at the same time of year.

Simply wonderful!

Thanks,

B
 

Camino Ky

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances April/May '2016',
Portuguese Camino '2017',
Camino Frances Dec/Jan '2019/2020'
Really enjoyed, thank you for sharing hope I can walk with or near others over that misty looking mountain.
 

Lydia Gillen

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances 2007/8/9, 2011 , 2012/13/14. C.F 2015
Camino Portugues 2017,2018,2019
volunteering
That was just beautifully done Debrita. Brought back lovely memories. Well done.
 
Camino(s) past & future
CF 2006,08,09,11,12(2),13(2),14,16(2),18(2) Aragones 11,12,VDLP 11,13,Lourdes 12,Malaga 16,Port 06
Beautiful, with stunning photos.
I really enjoyed this.
I could see such a change in your face the morning you left Roncesvalles.
When you left SJPP, you were not as sure of yourself.
Next morning, you looked like, "Yes! I know I can do this!"
I loved it.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Beautiful, with stunning photos.
I really enjoyed this.
I could see such a change in your face the morning you left Roncesvalles.
When you left SJPP, you were not as sure of yourself.
Next morning, you looked like, "Yes! I know I can do this!"
I loved it.
Seriously, it was like all the worry was just gone. One of the reasons that I went on pilgrimage was because I had my parents both die in a very short amount of time. I was extremely close to both of them. Mom died in October, 2011. At the end of the month, Dad nearly died, and we went from home to ICU to hospital room to eleven days in a nursing home. On day 11, I took him home and began a seven-month odyssey of hospice care with and for him, which was fraught with stress. His insane girlfriend harassed me constantly, insisting I was "killing " him. It was very, very strenuous, like climbing the Pyrenees front and back for seven months.

Losing parents... not sure why this is the case,, but I have found as an older adult that many people make the assumption that since parents are old, it should be easy for mature adults to lose them, as it is the natural way, also, that having a spiritual or religious belief that we will see them again in the afterlife is comforting to the degree that it erases grief after a set period of time.

Unfortunately, this was not the case for me. Having lost a favorite brother as a 19-year-old has meant that I have struggled with issues of lost all of my life. Having to go through my parents separate belongings – – and do all the work related to cleaning up, I caught myself overwhelmed. Each parent had meticulously and lovingly packed "memory boxes". Looking through boy scout badges and report cards just about killed me.

Depression snuck up on me, and it was so hard. That is when I learned about Camino DeSantiago, while I was in church.

Planning for, and considering a serious religious pilgrimage helped me to deal with my grief, and I frequently cried throughout my Camino, and prayed incessantly.

I know this is way more information than you probably expected to hear back, but I feel tremendously restored. I am grateful and thank God for my recovery.

I have edited this to correct a repetition and clarify.
 
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Joodle

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF May 10th- June 21st 2016
VDLP March-April 2017
CF coming up April-May
CaminoDebrita---I loved your little movie. I will be flying from either Portland or Seattle when I go. Was your route a better way to go, rather than flying into Paris? I'm pretty scared to make that loooong trip. The long walk doesn't bother me a bit!
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
CaminoDebrita---I loved your little movie. I will be flying from either Portland or Seattle when I go. Was your route a better way to go, rather than flying into Paris? I'm pretty scared to make that loooong trip. The long walk doesn't bother me a bit!
There is a thread about that in the "most viewed threads" section.

I have only done the Camino Frances one time, so only few to Madrid, but here's something to think about: you may prefer booking a flight from PDX or Seattle to Pamplona, and then add the next leg from Santiago de C to PDX (or Seattle).

What I did was fly RT from PDX to Madrid, and then used a Ryanair flight from Santiago to Madrid at the end....and also I fly to Pamplona from Madrid, when I first arrived. That was a bit of a wasted trip though, as I think I'd like to bus, train, or something else next time (to Pamplona). Just a thought.
 

Joodle

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF May 10th- June 21st 2016
VDLP March-April 2017
CF coming up April-May
Seriously, it was like all the worry was just gone. One of the reasons that I went on pilgrimage was because I had my parents both die in a very short amount of time. I was extremely close to both of them. One of the reasons that I went on pilgrimage was because I had my parents both die in a very short amount of time. I was extremely close to both of them.

Having my dad tank physically within just a few weeks of losing my mom was very hard on me. Not sure why this is the case,, but I have found as an older adult that many people make the assumption that since parents are old, it should be easy for mature adults to lose them, as it is the natural way, also, that having a spiritual or religious belief that we will see them again in the afterlife is comforting to the degree that it erases grief after a set period of time.

Unfortunately, this was not the case for me. Having lost a favorite brother as a 19-year-old has meant that I have struggled with issues of lost all of my life. Having to go through my parents separate belongings – – and do all the work related to cleaning up, I caught myself overwhelmed. Depression snuck up on me, and it was so hard. That is when I learned about Camino DeSantiago, while I was in church.

Planning for, and considering a serious religious pilgrimage helped me to deal with my grief, and I frequently cried throughout my Camino, and prayed incessantly.

I know this is way more information than you probably expected to hear back, but I feel tremendously restored. I am grateful and thank God for my recovery.
I started to cry as I read this post. Your story is so similar to mine. My parents died 9 months apart and I cared for my little Momma in my home for 4 months before she died. I have lost two sisters and one was my twin. Depression crept up on me too. I put up a good front for my husband and my family, but I do cry everyday for them. I hope on my Camino, I can begin to think of and remember them without tears. I want to feel the joy of just having had them in my life. I suffer from some survivors guilt because my twins life was so full of pain and sickness. I have been so blessed except for these losses. I have a wonderful husband and 4 adult children, but the loss of most of my original family has been devastating.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
I started to cry as I read this post. Your story is so similar to mine. My parents died 9 months apart and I cared for my little Momma in my home for 4 months before she died. I have lost two sisters and one was my twin. Depression crept up on me too. I put up a good front for my husband and my family, but I do cry everyday for them. I hope on my Camino, I can begin to think of and remember them without tears. I want to feel the joy of just having had them in my life. I suffer from some survivors guilt because my twins life was so full of pain and sickness. I have been so blessed except for these losses. I have a wonderful husband and 4 adult children, but the loss of most of my original family has been devastating.
I will write more to you in a private message, later, when things settle down around here.

Hugs, prayers, and I embrace you in thought and emotion. Seriously, you will do well on Camino. I walked the sadness and anger out. Perhaps you will have that same gift.
 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)
Beautiful, CaminoDebrita, beautiful.
And your message is to-the-bone truthful, not TMI at all. It totally explains the depth of your experience.
And Joodle...sending all heartfelt wishes your way for a deeply healing camino.
I'm so touched by both your stories....
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Beautiful, CaminoDebrita, beautiful.
And your message is to-the-bone truthful, not TMI at all. It totally explains the depth of your experience.
And Joodle...sending all heartfelt wishes your way for a deeply healing camino.
I'm so touched by both your stories....
Your friendship and many kindnesses--not just to me, but to all on this forum--have been a huge part of my Camino experience and my process in healing. Thank you for all!
 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)
Now it's my turn to tear up, Deb. You are welcome more than I can say....I actually have much to be grateful for to you in return.

(Off topic and I don't want to distract from your thread...but kindness is not so hard here because there are so many camino angels on the forum. At our best we lift each other up higher and higher. Small kindnesses. No small thing. I bow in thanks to you Deb, and to all!)
 

Seabird

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF April/May (2016), starting in St. Palais, France
Losing parents... not sure why this is the case,, but I have found as an older adult that many people make the assumption that since parents are old, it should be easy for mature adults to lose them, as it is the natural way, also, that having a spiritual or religious belief that we will see them again in the afterlife is comforting to the degree that it erases grief after a set period of time.

We are never ready to lose someone, to let go of someone who is a part of our journey in life. But little by little, we replace the immediate pain with something else to take along with us. I'm glad the Camino helped you during this new journey.
 

JennyH94

Pilgrim in progress
Camino(s) past & future
CF - sections and whole (2012-2019) and part VF (2017)
Absolutely beautiful video Deb - thanks so much for sharing it with our Forum family. Your choice of music was perfect - so perfect. Loreena McKennitt's haunting melodies and lyrics are a wonderful background to your photos. I will look forward to enjoying your forthcoming videos when you get a chance to work on them.

A note on your parents - thank you for sharing your experience of caring for your parents at the end of their lives. It must have been particularly stressful and sad with your Dad with his insane girlfriend making everything even more difficult.

Best, best wishes to you Deb -

Jenny
 

JennyH94

Pilgrim in progress
Camino(s) past & future
CF - sections and whole (2012-2019) and part VF (2017)
I started to cry as I read this post. Your story is so similar to mine. My parents died 9 months apart and I cared for my little Momma in my home for 4 months before she died. I have lost two sisters and one was my twin. Depression crept up on me too. I put up a good front for my husband and my family, but I do cry everyday for them. I hope on my Camino, I can begin to think of and remember them without tears. I want to feel the joy of just having had them in my life. I suffer from some survivors guilt because my twins life was so full of pain and sickness. I have been so blessed except for these losses. I have a wonderful husband and 4 adult children, but the loss of most of my original family has been devastating.

Hi Joodle - Your post really touched my heart - thank you for sharing your thoughts about your family. One thing you can do is to formally dedicate your Camino next year to your family. You can begin now by telling family and friends that you are dedicating your Camino to your Mom, Dad and two sisters and that intention will be with you as you train. I did that for months before I walked from Leon-Santiago in 2012 and it gave those months before I took the first step on the Camino such meaning - it was so uplifting. There is a huge leather-bound register - like a guest book - in the Pilgrims Office in Santiago where you can write your dedication - you can write as much as you like. I wrote a message saying I'd dedicated my Camino to my parents for bringing me to life and for all the blessings and care they gave me in my life. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to honour your parents in this way - it really stays with you.

Take joy in every step -

Jenny
 

Joodle

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF May 10th- June 21st 2016
VDLP March-April 2017
CF coming up April-May
Hi Joodle - Your post really touched my heart - thank you for sharing your thoughts about your family. One thing you can do is to formally dedicate your Camino next year to your family. You can begin now by telling family and friends that you are dedicating your Camino to your Mom, Dad and two sisters and that intention will be with you as you train. I did that for months before I walked from Leon-Santiago in 2012 and it gave those months before I took the first step on the Camino such meaning - it was so uplifting. There is a huge leather-bound register - like a guest book - in the Pilgrims Office in Santiago where you can write your dedication - you can write as much as you like. I wrote a message saying I'd dedicated my Camino to my parents for bringing me to life and for all the blessings and care they gave me in my life. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to honour your parents in this way - it really stays with you.

Take joy in every step -

Jenny
Thank you Jenny. I teared up agin reading your jhcomments. That is such a good idea. I haven't know quite how to honor my departed family members. I feel like I couldn't grieve for my twin, as I was trying so hard to help my elderly parents who had just lost a second daughter. I was trying to be strong for Jan's children because they were now orphans. Delayed grieving catches up to you eventually. I'm going to weep, wail, stomp my feet and pray my way back to joy !
 

MichaelB10398

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Le Puy to Santiago de Compostela, Lourdes to SdC, SJPP to SdC
I could watch a lot more of this. The music, the comments, the beauty. You have captured the Camino. Thank you for a job well done.
 

JennyH94

Pilgrim in progress
Camino(s) past & future
CF - sections and whole (2012-2019) and part VF (2017)
Thank you Jenny. I teared up agin reading your jhcomments. That is such a good idea. I haven't know quite how to honor my departed family members. I feel like I couldn't grieve for my twin, as I was trying so hard to help my elderly parents who had just lost a second daughter. I was trying to be strong for Jan's children because they were now orphans. Delayed grieving catches up to you eventually. I'm going to weep, wail, stomp my feet and pray my way back to joy !
Cheers Joodle - all of us here on the Forum who've lost loved ones know how you feel. You'll find that those magical Camino paths will be your companions as you take each step towards Santiago.
Another thing you might do (which you are probably already planning) is to take a small pebble for each of your family members from somewhere beautiful locally - a river, a lake etc (no shortage of beautiful places in Washington State - so gorgeous and scenic!) to place on the Cruz de Ferro, just past Rabanal and Foncebadon. It's such a special place - you can feel the spirit of the millions of past pilgrims who've done just as you've done - to think of the love that lies within each pebble at the Cruz - well, the connection is completely wonderful.
Best, best wishes Joodle - Jenny
 

Joodle

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF May 10th- June 21st 2016
VDLP March-April 2017
CF coming up April-May
Cheers Joodle - all of us here on the Forum who've lost loved ones know how you feel. You'll find that those magical Camino paths will be your companions as you take each step towards Santiago.
Another thing you might do (which you are probably already planning) is to take a small pebble for each of your family members from somewhere beautiful locally - a river, a lake etc (no shortage of beautiful places in Washington State - so gorgeous and scenic!) to place on the Cruz de Ferro, just past Rabanal and Foncebadon. It's such a special place - you can feel the spirit of the millions of past pilgrims who've done just as you've done - to think of the love that lies within each pebble at the Cruz - well, the connection is completely wonderful.
Best, best wishes Joodle - Jenny
Thank you Jenny. I will take a stone for each of my lost loved ones. ( small, since I have so many to carry) I'm hoping to begin living in the present, not sorrowing for the past, or worried about the future. When you lose so many so close together, you get fearful of what's going to sneak up and hit you over the head again. It's so weird that I can say things to people on this forum that I haven't even said to my husband or children. It feels like a safe place with kind and compassionate people. I have tried to protect my loved ones from my sorrow.
 

JennyH94

Pilgrim in progress
Camino(s) past & future
CF - sections and whole (2012-2019) and part VF (2017)
Thank you Jenny. I will take a stone for each of my lost loved ones. ( small, since I have so many to carry) I'm hoping to begin living in the present, not sorrowing for the past, or worried about the future. When you lose so many so close together, you get fearful of what's going to sneak up and hit you over the head again. It's so weird that I can say things to people on this forum that I haven't even said to my husband or children. It feels like a safe place with kind and compassionate people. I have tried to protect my loved ones from my sorrow.

Hi Joodle - It's wonderful that you will be taking small stones for each of your lost loved ones to the Cruz. There's an old thread, from 2013, started by our beautiful Wayfarer, entitled:

The story of your Stone at the Cruz de Ferro
Discussion in 'Camino Frances' started by wayfarer, Nov 4, 2013.

Tags:
You might like to check it out when you have time. There are such poignant stories on that thread - they will really touch your heart.

This is a really good time of year to begin living in the present - when you think of the joy of the season, the letting go of the old year and the beginning of the bright new year which promises so much for you - your loved ones who've passed would not want you to sorrow any longer and your family would want to see you happy.

You're right about the Forum - there are so many kind and compassionate people with huge pilgrim hearts who contribute so very much to the Forum. There's the occasional, shall we say "cranky" comment that's made too, but that's rare. Stay on the Forum for a while and you'll experience the most amazing connections with like-minded people from across the globe.

Best, best wishes - Jenny

PS - I can't wait for Deb's film at the Cruz - that will be very, very special. Thanks again to Deb for this wonderful thread.
 
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CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Hi Joodle - It's wonderful that you will be taking small stones for each of your lost loved ones to the Cruz. There's an old thread, from 2013, started by our beautiful Wayfarer, entitled:

The story of your Stone at the Cruz de Ferro
Discussion in 'Camino Frances' started by wayfarer, Nov 4, 2013.

Tags:
You might like to check it out when you have time. There are such poignant stories on that thread - they will really touch your heart.

This is a really good time of year to begin living in the present - when you think of the joy of the season, the letting go of the old year and the beginning of the bright new year which promises so much for you - your loved ones who've passed would not want you to sorrow any longer and your family would want to see you happy.

You're right about the Forum - there are so many kind and compassionate people with huge pilgrim hearts who contribute so very much to the Forum. There's the occasional, shall we say "cranky" comment that's made too, but that's rare. Stay on the Forum for a while and you'll experience the most amazing connections with like-minded people from across the globe.

Best, best wishes - Jenny

PS - I can't wait for Deb's film at the Cruz - that will be very, very special. Thanks again to Deb for this wonderful thread.

You are such a sweetheart, Ms. Jenny!

I actually had a very interesting epiphany at the Cruz, but that will come later.

Love---to all.

D
 

DeadFred

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
St Jean-Los Arcos ,Sept, Oct 14'
Los Arcos - Logrono-May16'
Next Logrono to ? - Sept 2019
[QUOTE="CaminoDebrita, [/QUOTE]

Bravo! Excellent . Thank you and ^5!!
 

JennyH94

Pilgrim in progress
Camino(s) past & future
CF - sections and whole (2012-2019) and part VF (2017)
You are such a sweetheart, Ms. Jenny!

I actually had a very interesting epiphany at the Cruz, but that will come later.

Love---to all.

D
Cheers Deb! I'd love to hear about your epiphany at the Cruz, when you post it, and in the meantime I look forward to enjoying your beautiful films and also to hear the music you choose to accompany the films - the Loreena McKennitt song was so lovely.
Jenny x
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Cheers Deb! I'd love to hear about your epiphany at the Cruz, when you post it, and in the meantime I look forward to enjoying your beautiful films and also to hear the music you choose to accompany the films - the Loreena McKennitt song was so lovely.
Jenny x
A forum member recommended I change the second video, to slow down captions, so I am re-editing!
 

David

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Moissac to Santiago Spring 2005 was the first foray.
Debrita - I do have to tell you that I really dislike blogs and Camino vids - I am old-fashioned perhaps, or should I say 'traditional'? but to me it seems that if one is doing 'selfies' and uploading them then one isn't 'on' Camino, one is merely an observer .. not a participant, not an experient .... and then I watched your video .. how sweet, how simple, how .. what? honest? - and the music absolutely bonded it ... I thought it rather wonderful - Buen Camino to you!

Although we know with absolute certainty that our loved ones will die it is still a great shock, a shock to the core, when they do go through that door .... rather surprising really as we knew they were going! It became my role to look after mother for some years ... from a slight distance as she had not been the best of mothers, nor the best of people, to say the least - but I was the last man standing so it fell to me and I chose to accept ... the last three years she was in a nursing home, her brain fading away except for some clear moments - and when she went, in natural time, I was utterly surprised by my feelings of shock and grief and loss - as if I was somehow not prepared at all, so, no, the age that we are when they leave us seems to be irrelevant. Then .. there is "carers guilt", the feelings that no end-of-life carer talks about, that we keep hidden deep inside; that we weren't good enough, not kind enough, not patient enough, that we did not give enough time .... but this is normal. For me, well, that five years, as I finally surrendered into it, into a plan that I seemed to be a part of, allowed a number of wounds - all the old wounds - to be healed and I finally blessed the Good God for putting me into the position and role that I deeply resented during the early times - and I found out that All is Well, that all is always well, and that our emotions - however difficult and painful they seem to be and however hard they are to bear - are a gift, a true gift, as they progress us in our climb to full humanity and our learning what true compassion and empathy is - so please do not think of your feelings about the death of your parents as a burden, nor be depressed by them - instead, think of those feelings as a blessing, a true blessing.

At mother's funeral last year my first born son, Joshua, wrote this and spoke it by her coffin - he wrote it for me and I love him even the more deeply for it - I hope that it will help you - and you too Joodle, Bless you - and not just you two but any carer who has watched over the last few months or years until the one watched fell up out of their broken body and gladly into the arms of angels.

I find that it is better if it is read out loud and slowly, slowly .....

"Death & Love or — The Relationship Between Mother & Son, and how in love we live forever

Death is, in many ways, a celebration of life. It is the bookend that curtails our time on this mortal plane, but it is by no means a door closed that we may never look beyond. This short period now is an intermission of sorts, during which the lights come up and we look around and we blink, and we talk openly about that which came before and that which may follow. It is a moment of contemplation and of reflection and also of rejoicing and of jubilation. It is not a moment of outright sadness, just as sure as it is neither a true beginning nor a true end.

When we see someone take death upon themselves, it is our chance to look at everything they were, as if for now, at least, their decisions are made and their actions are set in stone. And most importantly, what death is is a time to take stock of the one thing that transcends what we think of as time and place, and that thing is love — the substance in which we all swim — though oftentimes we realise not that we do, for it is as intangible and profound as the dark matter that holds our stars in sway. It is also as elusive, and equally as perplexing to define; and we convince ourselves that it evades our desperate groping for it, when we so often search with a singular purpose.

We write of love in the pages of whimsy as if it were the just reward only for those who are true of heart — the noble and deserving amongst us. But this is not reality, for love belongs to all, and it is the recognition of love in the unlikely places of the everyday that ennobles every one of us, and to feel it we must first recognise it, and to inspire it in others we must first understand the way in which we transmit it from ourselves.

Death of a loved one reveals many things to us. Most importantly it reveals how we loved this person, and how they loved us in return. Love in this way is traceable, as when the lights are up and our sight is cleared, that we may look both forward and backward with truth and with clarity; it is evident through our past actions how and when we loved and to what degree, and how we were loved in return. Sometimes at this juncture we realise that what we took not for love, and perhaps passed off as mere routine and diligent caring, was in fact love in its truest and it’s deepest form.

These oversights and blithe disregards are easy to make when the trappings of life bully our common sense, but in death we cannot let ourselves for a moment confuse what love for a person really is — it is a commitment to their welfare, even when it means a disregard for one’s own, and it is being present when an awareness of one's presence may in fact be absent, and it is pushing oneself to be the best that one can, for this person, in ways that one has to feel out and painstakingly discover along the way. After all this the feeling of love one receives is merely what echoes back when we throw our entirety into the void that is giving.

Some say that love takes a lifetime to build. I don’t know that this is true, but what I do believe is that at the end of a lifetime it is possible to understand love, or at least what the unique love meant between two people. Everything that was love reveals itself, just as everything that shrouded it’s clarity and purpose drops away. In this moment we can be sure in our heart that love existed and that it existed well.

Some also say that when we die we die alone, and that we take nothing of ourselves with us when we depart. I, however, know this not to be true, for if in death love only becomes stronger for those who remain, how can it be that such a tie is broken for those who depart?

If it remains here, then it also remains there, and in this way it is everlasting and it is true and there is no mistaking that it existed and that it will always exist for all the people who knew it."


All is well Debrita, Joodle, Jenny, Viranani, Angie, SeaBird, Kate, Peter, Alwyn, and to all you pilgrims who are still coping with loss, All is Well. Take your stones to the Cruz de Ferro, light your candles along the Way - do not be afraid nor embarrassed to cry, but also, do not be afraid nor embarrassed to laugh and to find Joy.

To you all - Buen Camino.

David xx
 
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Joodle

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF May 10th- June 21st 2016
VDLP March-April 2017
CF coming up April-May
Debrita - I do have to tell you that I really dislike blogs and Camino vids - I am old-fashioned perhaps, or should I say 'traditional'? but to me it seems that if one is doing 'selfies' and uploading them then one isn't 'on' Camino, one is merely an observer .. not a participant, not an experient .... and then I watched your video .. how sweet, how simple, how .. what? honest? - and the music absolutely bonded it ... I thought it rather wonderful - Buen Camino to you!

Although we know with absolute certainty that our loved ones will die it is still a great shock, a shock to the core, when they do go through that door .... rather surprising really as we knew they were going! It became my role to look after mother for some years ... from a slight distance as she had not been the best of mothers, nor the best of people, to say the least - but I was the last man standing so it fell to me and I chose to accept ... the last three years she was in a nursing home, her brain fading away except for some clear moments - and when she went, in natural time, I was utterly surprised by my feelings of shock and grief and loss - as if I was somehow not prepared at all, so, no, the age that we are when they leave us seems to be irrelevant. Then .. there is "carers guilt", the feelings that no end-of-life carer talks about, that we keep hidden deep inside; that we weren't good enough, not kind enough, not patient enough, that we did not give enough time .... but this is normal. For me, well, that five years, as I finally surrendered into it, into a plan that I seemed to be a part of, allowed a number of wounds - all the old wounds - to be healed and I finally blessed the Good God for putting me into the position and role that I deeply resented during the early times - and I found out that All is Well, that all is always well, and that our emotions - however difficult and painful they seem to be and however hard they are to bear - are a gift, a true gift, as they progress us in our climb to full humanity and our learning what true compassion and empathy is - so please do not think of your feelings about the death of your parents as a burden, nor be depressed by them - instead, think of those feelings as a blessing, a true blessing.

At mother's funeral last year my first born son, Joshua, wrote this and spoke it by her coffin - he wrote it for me and I love him even the more deeply for it - I hope that it will help you - and you too Joodle, Bless you - and not just you two but any carer who has watched over the last few months or years until the one watched fell up out of their broken body and gladly into the arms of angels.

I find that it is better if it is read out loud and slowly, slowly .....

"Death & Love or — The Relationship Between Mother & Son, and how in love we live forever

Death is, in many ways, a celebration of life. It is the bookend that curtails our time on this mortal plane, but it is by no means a door closed that we may never look beyond. This short period now is an intermission of sorts, during which the lights come up and we look around and we blink, and we talk openly about that which came before and that which may follow. It is a moment of contemplation and of reflection and also of rejoicing and of jubilation. It is not a moment of outright sadness, just as sure as it is neither a true beginning nor a true end.

When we see someone take death upon themselves, it is our chance to look at everything they were, as if for now, at least, their decisions are made and their actions are set in stone. And most importantly, what death is is a time to take stock of the one thing that transcends what we think of as time and place, and that thing is love — the substance in which we all swim — though oftentimes we realise not that we do, for it is as intangible and profound as the dark matter that holds our stars in sway. It is also as elusive, and equally as perplexing to define; and we convince ourselves that it evades our desperate groping for it, when we so often search with a singular purpose.

We write of love in the pages of whimsy as if it were the just reward only for those who are true of heart — the noble and deserving amongst us. But this is not reality, for love belongs to all, and it is the recognition of love in the unlikely places of the everyday that ennobles every one of us, and to feel it we must first recognise it, and to inspire it in others we must first understand the way in which we transmit it from ourselves.

Death of a loved one reveals many things to us. Most importantly it reveals how we loved this person, and how they loved us in return. Love in this way is traceable, as when the lights are up and our sight is cleared, that we may look both forward and backward with truth and with clarity; it is evident through our past actions how and when we loved and to what degree, and how we were loved in return. Sometimes at this juncture we realise that what we took not for love, and perhaps passed off as mere routine and diligent caring, was in fact love in its truest and it’s deepest form.

These oversights and blithe disregards are easy to make when the trappings of life bully our common sense, but in death we cannot let ourselves for a moment confuse what love for a person really is — it is a commitment to their welfare, even when it means a disregard for one’s own, and it is being present when an awareness of one's presence may in fact be absent, and it is pushing oneself to be the best that one can, for this person, in ways that one has to feel out and painstakingly discover along the way. After all this the feeling of love one receives is merely what echoes back when we throw our entirety into the void that is giving.

Some say that love takes a lifetime to build. I don’t know that this is true, but what I do believe is that at the end of a lifetime it is possible to understand love, or at least what the unique love meant between two people. Everything that was love reveals itself, just as everything that shrouded it’s clarity and purpose drops away. In this moment we can be sure in our heart that love existed and it existed well.

Some also say that when we die we die alone, and that we take nothing of ourselves with us when we depart. I, however, know this not to be true, for if in death love only becomes stronger for those who remain, how can it be that such a tie is broken for those who depart?

If it remains here, then it also remains there, and in this way it is everlasting and it is true and there is no mistaking that it existed and that it will always exist for all the people who knew it."


All is well Debrita, Joodle, Jenny, Viranani, Angie, SeaBird, Kate, Peter, Alwyn, and to all you pilgrims who are still coping with loss, All is Well. Take your stones to the Cruz de Ferro, light your candles along the Way - do not be afraid nor embarrassed to cry, but also, do not be afraid nor embarrassed to laugh and to find Joy.

To you all - Buen Camino.

David xx
Thank You so much for that David. I am finding healing just from being on this forum. I guess my Camino has already begun.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Debrita - I do have to tell you that I really dislike blogs and Camino vids - I am old-fashioned perhaps, or should I say 'traditional'? but to me it seems that if one is doing 'selfies' and uploading them then one isn't 'on' Camino, one is merely an observer .. not a participant, not an experient .... and then I watched your video .. how sweet, how simple, how .. what? honest? - and the music absolutely bonded it ... I thought it rather wonderful - Buen Camino to you!

Although we know with absolute certainty that our loved ones will die it is still a great shock, a shock to the core, when they do go through that door .... rather surprising really as we knew they were going! It became my role to look after mother for some years ... from a slight distance as she had not been the best of mothers, nor the best of people, to say the least - but I was the last man standing so it fell to me and I chose to accept ... the last three years she was in a nursing home, her brain fading away except for some clear moments - and when she went, in natural time, I was utterly surprised by my feelings of shock and grief and loss - as if I was somehow not prepared at all, so, no, the age that we are when they leave us seems to be irrelevant. Then .. there is "carers guilt", the feelings that no end-of-life carer talks about, that we keep hidden deep inside; that we weren't good enough, not kind enough, not patient enough, that we did not give enough time .... but this is normal. For me, well, that five years, as I finally surrendered into it, into a plan that I seemed to be a part of, allowed a number of wounds - all the old wounds - to be healed and I finally blessed the Good God for putting me into the position and role that I deeply resented during the early times - and I found out that All is Well, that all is always well, and that our emotions - however difficult and painful they seem to be and however hard they are to bear - are a gift, a true gift, as they progress us in our climb to full humanity and our learning what true compassion and empathy is - so please do not think of your feelings about the death of your parents as a burden, nor be depressed by them - instead, think of those feelings as a blessing, a true blessing.

At mother's funeral last year my first born son, Joshua, wrote this and spoke it by her coffin - he wrote it for me and I love him even the more deeply for it - I hope that it will help you - and you too Joodle, Bless you - and not just you two but any carer who has watched over the last few months or years until the one watched fell up out of their broken body and gladly into the arms of angels.

I find that it is better if it is read out loud and slowly, slowly .....

"Death & Love or — The Relationship Between Mother & Son, and how in love we live forever

Death is, in many ways, a celebration of life. It is the bookend that curtails our time on this mortal plane, but it is by no means a door closed that we may never look beyond. This short period now is an intermission of sorts, during which the lights come up and we look around and we blink, and we talk openly about that which came before and that which may follow. It is a moment of contemplation and of reflection and also of rejoicing and of jubilation. It is not a moment of outright sadness, just as sure as it is neither a true beginning nor a true end.

When we see someone take death upon themselves, it is our chance to look at everything they were, as if for now, at least, their decisions are made and their actions are set in stone. And most importantly, what death is is a time to take stock of the one thing that transcends what we think of as time and place, and that thing is love — the substance in which we all swim — though oftentimes we realise not that we do, for it is as intangible and profound as the dark matter that holds our stars in sway. It is also as elusive, and equally as perplexing to define; and we convince ourselves that it evades our desperate groping for it, when we so often search with a singular purpose.

We write of love in the pages of whimsy as if it were the just reward only for those who are true of heart — the noble and deserving amongst us. But this is not reality, for love belongs to all, and it is the recognition of love in the unlikely places of the everyday that ennobles every one of us, and to feel it we must first recognise it, and to inspire it in others we must first understand the way in which we transmit it from ourselves.

Death of a loved one reveals many things to us. Most importantly it reveals how we loved this person, and how they loved us in return. Love in this way is traceable, as when the lights are up and our sight is cleared, that we may look both forward and backward with truth and with clarity; it is evident through our past actions how and when we loved and to what degree, and how we were loved in return. Sometimes at this juncture we realise that what we took not for love, and perhaps passed off as mere routine and diligent caring, was in fact love in its truest and it’s deepest form.

These oversights and blithe disregards are easy to make when the trappings of life bully our common sense, but in death we cannot let ourselves for a moment confuse what love for a person really is — it is a commitment to their welfare, even when it means a disregard for one’s own, and it is being present when an awareness of one's presence may in fact be absent, and it is pushing oneself to be the best that one can, for this person, in ways that one has to feel out and painstakingly discover along the way. After all this the feeling of love one receives is merely what echoes back when we throw our entirety into the void that is giving.

Some say that love takes a lifetime to build. I don’t know that this is true, but what I do believe is that at the end of a lifetime it is possible to understand love, or at least what the unique love meant between two people. Everything that was love reveals itself, just as everything that shrouded it’s clarity and purpose drops away. In this moment we can be sure in our heart that love existed and that it existed well.

Some also say that when we die we die alone, and that we take nothing of ourselves with us when we depart. I, however, know this not to be true, for if in death love only becomes stronger for those who remain, how can it be that such a tie is broken for those who depart?

If it remains here, then it also remains there, and in this way it is everlasting and it is true and there is no mistaking that it existed and that it will always exist for all the people who knew it."


All is well Debrita, Joodle, Jenny, Viranani, Angie, SeaBird, Kate, Peter, Alwyn, and to all you pilgrims who are still coping with loss, All is Well. Take your stones to the Cruz de Ferro, light your candles along the Way - do not be afraid nor embarrassed to cry, but also, do not be afraid nor embarrassed to laugh and to find Joy.

To you all - Buen Camino.

David xx

This is a profound gift. I can't respond to it yet.
 

GettingThere

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Roncesvalles-SdC Apr-Jun 2015
Roncesvalles-Sarria Sep-Oct 2017
C. Frances sections Apr-Jun 2019

This is beautiful, CaminoDebrita. Thank you so much for posting. Although I didn't walk that stretch (started in Roncesvalles), your film brought back so many memories - I was right back there again in Roncesvalles, feeling my pack and the walking poles in my hands. And thank you for that glorious soundtrack too.

During the time that my mother and I walked our camino this Spring, we passed the anniversaries of my sister (21 years ago) and my father (8 years ago) leaving this life. Both your film and your reflections on your losses touched me deeply. Thank you.
 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)
Debrita - I do have to tell you that I really dislike blogs and Camino vids - I am old-fashioned perhaps, or should I say 'traditional'? but to me it seems that if one is doing 'selfies' and uploading them then one isn't 'on' Camino, one is merely an observer .. not a participant, not an experient .... and then I watched your video .. how sweet, how simple, how .. what? honest? - and the music absolutely bonded it ... I thought it rather wonderful - Buen Camino to you!
I'm the same as David. Blogs by experienced peregrinos/peregrinas about caminos that are less traveled, these are very useful because they actually have information (thank you Laurie, Alan, Kanga, etc)...but many videos turn out to be more about 'Me and My camino,' and I find them uninteresting.
This...yes...different: wholehearted and absolutely unpretentious. And did I say beautiful?

All is well Debrita, Joodle, Jenny, Viranani, Angie, SeaBird, Kate, Peter, Alwyn, and to all you pilgrims who are still coping with loss, All is Well. Take your stones to the Cruz de Ferro, light your candles along the Way - do not be afraid nor embarrassed to cry, but also, do not be afraid nor embarrassed to laugh and to find Joy.
Wow. This post is stunning, David. Thank you...I am also still digesting the depth of it, so merely pressing 'like' is totally inadequate.
Julian of Norwich is a friend of yours, yes? ;)
 

JennyH94

Pilgrim in progress
Camino(s) past & future
CF - sections and whole (2012-2019) and part VF (2017)
Debrita - I do have to tell you that I really dislike blogs and Camino vids - I am old-fashioned perhaps, or should I say 'traditional'? but to me it seems that if one is doing 'selfies' and uploading them then one isn't 'on' Camino, one is merely an observer .. not a participant, not an experient .... and then I watched your video .. how sweet, how simple, how .. what? honest? - and the music absolutely bonded it ... I thought it rather wonderful - Buen Camino to you!

Although we know with absolute certainty that our loved ones will die it is still a great shock, a shock to the core, when they do go through that door .... rather surprising really as we knew they were going! It became my role to look after mother for some years ... from a slight distance as she had not been the best of mothers, nor the best of people, to say the least - but I was the last man standing so it fell to me and I chose to accept ... the last three years she was in a nursing home, her brain fading away except for some clear moments - and when she went, in natural time, I was utterly surprised by my feelings of shock and grief and loss - as if I was somehow not prepared at all, so, no, the age that we are when they leave us seems to be irrelevant. Then .. there is "carers guilt", the feelings that no end-of-life carer talks about, that we keep hidden deep inside; that we weren't good enough, not kind enough, not patient enough, that we did not give enough time .... but this is normal. For me, well, that five years, as I finally surrendered into it, into a plan that I seemed to be a part of, allowed a number of wounds - all the old wounds - to be healed and I finally blessed the Good God for putting me into the position and role that I deeply resented during the early times - and I found out that All is Well, that all is always well, and that our emotions - however difficult and painful they seem to be and however hard they are to bear - are a gift, a true gift, as they progress us in our climb to full humanity and our learning what true compassion and empathy is - so please do not think of your feelings about the death of your parents as a burden, nor be depressed by them - instead, think of those feelings as a blessing, a true blessing.

At mother's funeral last year my first born son, Joshua, wrote this and spoke it by her coffin - he wrote it for me and I love him even the more deeply for it - I hope that it will help you - and you too Joodle, Bless you - and not just you two but any carer who has watched over the last few months or years until the one watched fell up out of their broken body and gladly into the arms of angels.

I find that it is better if it is read out loud and slowly, slowly .....

"Death & Love or — The Relationship Between Mother & Son, and how in love we live forever

Death is, in many ways, a celebration of life. It is the bookend that curtails our time on this mortal plane, but it is by no means a door closed that we may never look beyond. This short period now is an intermission of sorts, during which the lights come up and we look around and we blink, and we talk openly about that which came before and that which may follow. It is a moment of contemplation and of reflection and also of rejoicing and of jubilation. It is not a moment of outright sadness, just as sure as it is neither a true beginning nor a true end.

When we see someone take death upon themselves, it is our chance to look at everything they were, as if for now, at least, their decisions are made and their actions are set in stone. And most importantly, what death is is a time to take stock of the one thing that transcends what we think of as time and place, and that thing is love — the substance in which we all swim — though oftentimes we realise not that we do, for it is as intangible and profound as the dark matter that holds our stars in sway. It is also as elusive, and equally as perplexing to define; and we convince ourselves that it evades our desperate groping for it, when we so often search with a singular purpose.

We write of love in the pages of whimsy as if it were the just reward only for those who are true of heart — the noble and deserving amongst us. But this is not reality, for love belongs to all, and it is the recognition of love in the unlikely places of the everyday that ennobles every one of us, and to feel it we must first recognise it, and to inspire it in others we must first understand the way in which we transmit it from ourselves.

Death of a loved one reveals many things to us. Most importantly it reveals how we loved this person, and how they loved us in return. Love in this way is traceable, as when the lights are up and our sight is cleared, that we may look both forward and backward with truth and with clarity; it is evident through our past actions how and when we loved and to what degree, and how we were loved in return. Sometimes at this juncture we realise that what we took not for love, and perhaps passed off as mere routine and diligent caring, was in fact love in its truest and it’s deepest form.

These oversights and blithe disregards are easy to make when the trappings of life bully our common sense, but in death we cannot let ourselves for a moment confuse what love for a person really is — it is a commitment to their welfare, even when it means a disregard for one’s own, and it is being present when an awareness of one's presence may in fact be absent, and it is pushing oneself to be the best that one can, for this person, in ways that one has to feel out and painstakingly discover along the way. After all this the feeling of love one receives is merely what echoes back when we throw our entirety into the void that is giving.

Some say that love takes a lifetime to build. I don’t know that this is true, but what I do believe is that at the end of a lifetime it is possible to understand love, or at least what the unique love meant between two people. Everything that was love reveals itself, just as everything that shrouded it’s clarity and purpose drops away. In this moment we can be sure in our heart that love existed and that it existed well.

Some also say that when we die we die alone, and that we take nothing of ourselves with us when we depart. I, however, know this not to be true, for if in death love only becomes stronger for those who remain, how can it be that such a tie is broken for those who depart?

If it remains here, then it also remains there, and in this way it is everlasting and it is true and there is no mistaking that it existed and that it will always exist for all the people who knew it."


All is well Debrita, Joodle, Jenny, Viranani, Angie, SeaBird, Kate, Peter, Alwyn, and to all you pilgrims who are still coping with loss, All is Well. Take your stones to the Cruz de Ferro, light your candles along the Way - do not be afraid nor embarrassed to cry, but also, do not be afraid nor embarrassed to laugh and to find Joy.

To you all - Buen Camino.

David xx

Thank you so very much for your exceptional post David. I feel exactly the same as Viranani - a 'Like' just isn't sufficient enough to express how I feel about your wonderful words of wisdom. There is a reason why you have 3,912 Likes on the Forum!
Thank you too to Joshua for his beautiful words - what a huge comfort they would have been at the sad occasion of your mother's funeral and look at the comfort they give now - across the globe.
We are all truly blessed to have such compassion and wisdom gifted to us through your words - not only in this thread but in the countless others to which you give your time and sensitive care - always with such goodwill.
Best, best wishes to you -
Jenny
 
A

Anemone del Camino

Guest
My mother was from northern Spain. Had to leave for France at the age of 9. She had one decision to make: bring your doll or a book. She brought the dictionary. Got to France, on the last boat to leave from northern Spain, thanks to the French communist party, to end up,in camps. All this because her uncle was an aviator, opposing Franco, whose brothers all followd him. And to this day they are our family pride.

All this to say that if I walked my 1st Camino it was after her unexpected death. Ot was not the Norte as it should have beedn because back then you had to walk 30+km a day. Not for me.

Brought a tiny rock from the cemetary where my mother is back to the Cathedral where my gemad parents were married. Brought her back home.

These testimaonials, video, photo, poems, of our walks on the Camino, and not "out Camino" are a testimony of what this route can do for many.

Thank you formthe beautiful iamges and thoughts. As I watch TV5 anf US new of US candidates new positions on some issues, I am glad the Camino has been there for those of us healing.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Debrita - I do have to tell you that I really dislike blogs and Camino vids - I am old-fashioned perhaps, or should I say 'traditional'? but to me it seems that if one is doing 'selfies' and uploading them then one isn't 'on' Camino, one is merely an observer .. not a participant, not an experient .... and then I watched your video .. how sweet, how simple, how .. what? honest? - and the music absolutely bonded it ... I thought it rather wonderful - Buen Camino to you!

Although we know with absolute certainty that our loved ones will die it is still a great shock, a shock to the core, when they do go through that door .... rather surprising really as we knew they were going! It became my role to look after mother for some years ... from a slight distance as she had not been the best of mothers, nor the best of people, to say the least - but I was the last man standing so it fell to me and I chose to accept ... the last three years she was in a nursing home, her brain fading away except for some clear moments - and when she went, in natural time, I was utterly surprised by my feelings of shock and grief and loss - as if I was somehow not prepared at all, so, no, the age that we are when they leave us seems to be irrelevant. Then .. there is "carers guilt", the feelings that no end-of-life carer talks about, that we keep hidden deep inside; that we weren't good enough, not kind enough, not patient enough, that we did not give enough time .... but this is normal. For me, well, that five years, as I finally surrendered into it, into a plan that I seemed to be a part of, allowed a number of wounds - all the old wounds - to be healed and I finally blessed the Good God for putting me into the position and role that I deeply resented during the early times - and I found out that All is Well, that all is always well, and that our emotions - however difficult and painful they seem to be and however hard they are to bear - are a gift, a true gift, as they progress us in our climb to full humanity and our learning what true compassion and empathy is - so please do not think of your feelings about the death of your parents as a burden, nor be depressed by them - instead, think of those feelings as a blessing, a true blessing.

At mother's funeral last year my first born son, Joshua, wrote this and spoke it by her coffin - he wrote it for me and I love him even the more deeply for it - I hope that it will help you - and you too Joodle, Bless you - and not just you two but any carer who has watched over the last few months or years until the one watched fell up out of their broken body and gladly into the arms of angels.

I find that it is better if it is read out loud and slowly, slowly .....

"Death & Love or — The Relationship Between Mother & Son, and how in love we live forever

Death is, in many ways, a celebration of life. It is the bookend that curtails our time on this mortal plane, but it is by no means a door closed that we may never look beyond. This short period now is an intermission of sorts, during which the lights come up and we look around and we blink, and we talk openly about that which came before and that which may follow. It is a moment of contemplation and of reflection and also of rejoicing and of jubilation. It is not a moment of outright sadness, just as sure as it is neither a true beginning nor a true end.

When we see someone take death upon themselves, it is our chance to look at everything they were, as if for now, at least, their decisions are made and their actions are set in stone. And most importantly, what death is is a time to take stock of the one thing that transcends what we think of as time and place, and that thing is love — the substance in which we all swim — though oftentimes we realise not that we do, for it is as intangible and profound as the dark matter that holds our stars in sway. It is also as elusive, and equally as perplexing to define; and we convince ourselves that it evades our desperate groping for it, when we so often search with a singular purpose.

We write of love in the pages of whimsy as if it were the just reward only for those who are true of heart — the noble and deserving amongst us. But this is not reality, for love belongs to all, and it is the recognition of love in the unlikely places of the everyday that ennobles every one of us, and to feel it we must first recognise it, and to inspire it in others we must first understand the way in which we transmit it from ourselves.

Death of a loved one reveals many things to us. Most importantly it reveals how we loved this person, and how they loved us in return. Love in this way is traceable, as when the lights are up and our sight is cleared, that we may look both forward and backward with truth and with clarity; it is evident through our past actions how and when we loved and to what degree, and how we were loved in return. Sometimes at this juncture we realise that what we took not for love, and perhaps passed off as mere routine and diligent caring, was in fact love in its truest and it’s deepest form.

These oversights and blithe disregards are easy to make when the trappings of life bully our common sense, but in death we cannot let ourselves for a moment confuse what love for a person really is — it is a commitment to their welfare, even when it means a disregard for one’s own, and it is being present when an awareness of one's presence may in fact be absent, and it is pushing oneself to be the best that one can, for this person, in ways that one has to feel out and painstakingly discover along the way. After all this the feeling of love one receives is merely what echoes back when we throw our entirety into the void that is giving.

Some say that love takes a lifetime to build. I don’t know that this is true, but what I do believe is that at the end of a lifetime it is possible to understand love, or at least what the unique love meant between two people. Everything that was love reveals itself, just as everything that shrouded it’s clarity and purpose drops away. In this moment we can be sure in our heart that love existed and that it existed well.

Some also say that when we die we die alone, and that we take nothing of ourselves with us when we depart. I, however, know this not to be true, for if in death love only becomes stronger for those who remain, how can it be that such a tie is broken for those who depart?

If it remains here, then it also remains there, and in this way it is everlasting and it is true and there is no mistaking that it existed and that it will always exist for all the people who knew it."


All is well Debrita, Joodle, Jenny, Viranani, Angie, SeaBird, Kate, Peter, Alwyn, and to all you pilgrims who are still coping with loss, All is Well. Take your stones to the Cruz de Ferro, light your candles along the Way - do not be afraid nor embarrassed to cry, but also, do not be afraid nor embarrassed to laugh and to find Joy.

To you all - Buen Camino.

David xx


I keep re-reading your son's words, @David, and I like this part the very best, or at least, tonight I liked this part the very best.



David's son writes: Death of a loved one reveals many things to us. Most importantly it reveals how we loved this person, and how they loved us in return.

Deb says: I think, David, about how I was the one present with my parents--both of them--in that short period of time. How I loved them. Yes, death, did reveal how I loved them: I was unafraid at the ugliest juncture, that time when the body is quitting, and the soul is exiting the body--and the body, the poor ugly shell, struggles to hold on. It is definitely love to hang in there, to stay through that terrible transition. It is not terrible if we see it through the eyes of love. The promise of an afterlife did not so much buoy me up at the transition--the death--of my loved ones. Instead, I was praying like crazy for God to help them to pass.

How we all loved one another.

@David , how remarkable your son is to have written these words. How remarkably well he loves you. Isn't it amazing, and what an understatement, that his writing should be so sincere and honest? It is so wonderful

Love in this way is traceable, as when the lights are up and our sight is cleared, that we may look both forward and backward with truth and with clarity; it is evident through our past actions how and when we loved and to what degree, and how we were loved in return. Sometimes at this juncture we realise that what we took not for love, and perhaps passed off as mere routine and diligent caring, was in fact love in its truest and it’s deepest form.

These oversights and blithe disregards are easy to make when the trappings of life bully our common sense, but in death we cannot let ourselves for a moment confuse what love for a person really is — it is a commitment to their welfare, even when it means a disregard for one’s own, and it is being present when an awareness of one's presence may in fact be absent, and it is pushing oneself to be the best that one can, for this person, in ways that one has to feel out and painstakingly discover along the way.

@David --I want to take this love for granted less. I want to be grateful more, to my living people. I want to be more committed to those I love, including my immediately family, my friends, my students, and my fellow pilgrims and humanity.

Thank you so much for your long and thoughtful post, and for sharing your very generous and genuine heart, as well as your son's.

I am still reading your post. It is worthy of a good, long wallow.

 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Watched again. Made me cry again, and wish I was in Spain..
I"m so glad that you watched it, and that it moved you.

Can you go back to your beloved Spain any time soon?
 
Camino(s) past & future
First one in 1977 by train. Many since then by foot. Next one ASAP.
My plan is to go back in the Fall of 2018 for one last walk, after I retire - and go very, very slowly. Really smell the flowers, really make that glass of wine last all evening.... But my health is declining and I may have to either move the trip up, or walk less than the whole.

In God's hands.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
My plan is to go back in the Fall of 2018 for one last walk, after I retire - and go very, very slowly. Really smell the flowers, really make that glass of wine last all evening.... But my health is declining and I may have to either move the trip up, or walk less than the whole.

In God's hands.
I would like to know what is happening with your health. Please feel free to send me a message. I am praying for you tonight. This will include candles and meditation on the pond outside.

God's mercy on you, dear one.

Deb
 
Camino(s) past & future
First one in 1977 by train. Many since then by foot. Next one ASAP.
I would like to know what is happening with your health. Please feel free to send me a message. I am praying for you tonight. This will include candles and meditation on the pond outside.

God's mercy on you, dear one.

Deb
Nothing that will kill me any time soon, but my ability to walk the Way will steadily degrade. Which is a bit discouraging, I confess, because a day does not go by when I do not wish I was buying a doner kabob in Estella, or staring down at Hornillos from that windy bluff....

Your readiness to pray for a stranger is noted - its just the sort of thing a peregrina might do. :)
 

FamPed

Pilgrim
Camino(s) past & future
There are many different Pilgrim Routes and Caminos in life.
Thank you @CaminoDebrita for your lovely film.
Wow! I am looking up on all responses, and all I really can see is love and blessings. I love this forum, because of all of you spreading and sharing kindness, weakness, hope, experiences, empathy, tips and prayers.
 

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CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Oh, my friends....Here I sit crying, having seen this thread waking up again! Crying in a good way, though!

I'm soothing myself by remembering that I leave for Spain in about seven weeks ❤️
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Dang! This thread woke up so I had another look and I made the mistake of watching Debrita's film again - big mistake, now I am all choked up and feel .. I don't know .. homesick?

Thank you Debrita xx

You are the best! Thank you for your investment in my well-being.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
I just read this entire thread again. What a gift.
 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)

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