Crisis of confidence

[rometimed]

It's an amazing journey. This whole process is part of the fun and you will laugh when you look back. For many, like myself, we enjoy replying to threads such as yours because it also puts us back into that position of doubt, "how on earth can I do THIS!?!"

One foot at a time

Buen Camino !

 

[legless]

It's an amazing journey. This whole process is part of the fun and you will laugh when you look back. For many, like myself, we enjoy replying to threads such as yours because it also puts us back into that position of doubt, "how on earth can I do THIS!?!"

One foot at a time

Buen Camino !

Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has got something positive from this.

 

[Consey78]

One thing that always gets me about Caminos in general and the Frances in particular is how versatile they are.
One can walk largely any daily distance one wants, there is bound to be multiple accommodation options along the way.
One can stay in a number of accommodation options from Albergue to five star hotels through casa rurals, even camping is an option.
Particularly on the Frances there will be a number of food and water options along the way, of all price levels.
Public transport and taxis are never far away if needed.
The language barrier is easily over come with google translate, politeness and a little effort. plenty of peregrinos haven't a word of Spanish.
Plenty of other solo peregrinos to chat with make friends with or not if you like. People who wish to walk alone do so with ease.
It'll be fine, a week into the camino it will seem like all you ever knew.
Ease yourself in and take care of your feet, you will be fine.

 

[legless]

One thing that always gets me about Caminos in general and the Frances in particular is how versatile they are.
One can walk largely any daily distance one wants, there is bound to be multiple accommodation options along the way.
One can stay in a number of accommodation options from Albergue to five star hotels through casa rurals, even camping is an option.
Particularly on the Frances there will be a number of food and water options along the way, of all price levels.
Public transport and taxis are never far away if needed.
The language barrier is easily over come with google translate, politeness and a little effort. plenty of peregrinos haven't a word of Spanish.
Plenty of other solo peregrinos to chat with make friends with or not if you like. People who wish to walk alone do so with ease.
It'll be fine, a week into the camino it will seem like all you ever knew.
Ease yourself in and take care of your feet, you will be fine.

Thank you, the flexibility in terms of distance and accommodation is one of the reasons I decided on the Frances. Thank you for mentioning Google Translate, I've never used it so it's good to hear that it's reliable.

 

[movinmaggie]

Most everyone in this forum family have been where you are...but how you feel now will likely pale in comparison to how you will feel by not following your heart. Buen Camino

 

[Owen Duguay]

I have found that with every day walked I gain a little bit more confidence . I guess it is the fact of taking a large number of big and small decisions and realising that most of my decesions wearn't so bad after all. I wish you a very very nice walk and I hope that you descoverr lots of things about whatever you may be looking for.

 

[Former member 99026]

I'm a complete introvert too. You will be surprised how easy it gets to either integrate with a group or find a bit of space.
In my book March/April is a brilliant time to be walking. I start the Portuguese on the 28th.
Buen Camino

 

[JabbaPapa]

Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has got something positive from this.

For many of us, your descriptions of the anxiety are so clearly written that it's like a trip down memory lane back to our own pre-Camino/first week anxieties.

Been there. Done that.

One piece of advice I've not seen given in the thread yet ; if on any particular day it actually does get to be too much -- don't give up. No matter how tempted you may be to do so.

And you will be, it's almost inevitable.

Stop ; Rest ; Recuperate. Gather your courage again. Those desires to give up aren't "immoral" or anything, they're almost always just symptoms of fatigue, physical and/or psychological.

And what works against fatigue ? R&R.

Also : good Pilgrim conversation, vino tinto, and the occasional great big fat pilgrim menu !!

 

[Richo]

You are planning to walk from SJPP in March, right? I think you will find that timing and route to be perfect for managing the level of socializing that you might want. One quickly learns that there are ALL types of people on the Camino, and you will almost certainly be a person somewhere in the middle of those types.

It is very very common that pilgrims want to walk alone during the day, and the socializing in the evenings is not very hard to handle. Most people are friendly and may reach out to include you in the group. If you find that you are getting too involved with a group, just say you want to walk on your own for a period, or you can decide to stay in a different albergue or town. Such groups ebb and flow and you should not feel obliged. By the time you reach Santiago, you will have met, left behind, passed, re-encountered and re-left many people. Those contacts are mostly ephemeral, which is liberating in many ways.

Contrary to what you might expect, you can enjoy a lot of privacy and anonymity in walking into a different place every night and meeting different people. They expect very little from you, and you have a freedom to be just you. In March you will get started and can develop your own style of functioning on the Camino, without dealing with hoards of other pilgrims.

On the Camino Frances you need very little Spanish. Everyone will see that you are a pilgrim walking to Santiago, and they will all know what you need, so you don't have to communicate very much.

So, take comfort in knowing that so many (likely most) people set out with similar uncertainties, and most of them settle down by halfway through the first day!

I agree with the above. The vast majority of the people you'll meet will be friendly. If you're shy and not inclined to talk much - no problem!I I have found that most people are more than happy to generate most of the conversation . Long pauses are fine too. Interestingly, I got on great with a lot of people who I would normally not choose to fall in with. That's a Camino lesson - don't judge. If you do find yourself under some kind of pressure to keep on going with a group, just stay somewhere else as C clearly said, or stop somewhere for a coffee and rejoin later - or not. Groups form, dissolve and reform all the time. Many people sit on their own at the albergue or in the restaurant/cafe. That's ok too. Its not always easy to march up to a group you don't know at dinner and ask to join, but if you do, I doubt you'd ever be knocked back. Don't forget you may NEVER see any members of that group again. If you enter alone and see somebody you know in a group they'll likely ask you to join them. If they don't, its perfectly fine to dine alone - and you get to have more of the wine. . At he end I'm sure you'll have found it all went well and you'll be wondering whatever it was you were worried about.

 

[JZA]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

I used to suffer from anxiety attacks. As part of the treatment I learnt to quantify the fear. What is the worse that could happen? It’s not a wilderness trail so you can’t get lost in the woods. If you only get part way you can go back and do the rest. Many people do it over a number of years. I could go on but you get the point.
it’s not about how many times you get knocked down, it’s about how many times you get up again. and the Camino is full of people who will help you if you need it.

 

[HaveringRob]

I am overwhelmed by the replies here and how much people have taken the time to help me, I am so appreciative. The support here has put my fears properly into perspective and I am definitely now excited again - staring at my stuff gathered on the dining table, wondering if I can pack yet!

Woot! I really hope that you have a lovely time and find healing, peace, and joy.

 

[legless]

Most everyone in this forum family have been where you are...but how you feel now will likely pale in comparison to how you will feel by not following your heart. Buen Camino

Thank you, I think you're right.

 

[legless]

I have found that with every day walked I gain a little bit more confidence . I guess it is the fact of taking a large number of big and small decisions and realising that most of my decesions wearn't so bad after all. I wish you a very very nice walk and I hope that you descoverr lots of things about whatever you may be looking for.

Thank you so much

 

[legless]

I'm a complete introvert too. You will be surprised how easy it gets to either integrate with a group or find a bit of space.
In my book March/April is a brilliant time to be walking. I start the Portuguese on the 28th.
Buen Camino

and Buen Camino to you. I'm excited about walking in early spring

 

[legless]

For many of us, your descriptions of the anxiety are so clearly written that it's like a trip down memory lane back to our own pre-Camino/first week anxieties.

Been there. Done that.

One piece of advice I've not seen given in the thread yet ; if on any particular day it actually does get to be too much -- don't give up. No matter how tempted you may be to do so.

And you will be, it's almost inevitable.

Stop ; Rest ; Recuperate. Gather your courage again. Those desires to give up aren't "immoral" or anything, they're almost always just symptoms of fatigue, physical and/or psychological.

And what works against fatigue ? R&R.

Also : good Pilgrim conversation, vino tinto, and the occasional great big fat pilgrim menu !!

Wise advice from someone who has walked a mile or two, thank you! I am tremendously stubborn so unlikely to give up but the reminder to take R&R rather than just try and carry on is very important.

 

[legless]

I agree with the above. The vast majority of the people you'll meet will be friendly. If you're shy and not inclined to talk much - no problem!I I have found that most people are more than happy to generate most of the conversation . Long pauses are fine too. Interestingly, I got on great with a lot of people who I would normally not choose to fall in with. That's a Camino lesson - don't judge. If you do find yourself under some kind of pressure to keep on going with a group, just stay somewhere else as C clearly said, or stop somewhere for a coffee and rejoin later - or not. Groups form, dissolve and reform all the time. Many people sit on their own at the albergue or in the restaurant/cafe. That's ok too. Its not always easy to march up to a group you don't know at dinner and ask to join, but if you do, I doubt you'd ever be knocked back. Don't forget you may NEVER see any members of that group again. If you enter alone and see somebody you know in a group they'll likely ask you to join them. If they don't, its perfectly fine to dine alone - and you get to have more of the wine. . At he end I'm sure you'll have found it all went well and you'll be wondering whatever it was you were worried about.

Thank you for your lovely reply, it's very reassuring and good advice.

 

[legless]

I used to suffer from anxiety attacks. As part of the treatment I learnt to quantify the fear. What is the worse that could happen? It’s not a wilderness trail so you can’t get lost in the woods. If you only get part way you can go back and do the rest. Many people do it over a number of years. I could go on but you get the point.
it’s not about how many times you get knocked down, it’s about how many times you get up again. and the Camino is full of people who will help you if you need it.

Thank you for your reply and thinking rationally, which I am doing a bit now I've calmed down a bit, you're absolutely right. The Camino itself is part of getting back up again after being knocked down so just by going that's a good start.

 

[legless]

Woot! I really hope that you have a lovely time and find healing, peace, and joy.

Thank you

 

[Suzanne H]

Dear Legless,

If you are feeling shy, yet would like to reach out to someone -- simply smile and say hello.

Not everyone will be able to carry on a conversation with you because we are all on our own journey, but someone WILL.

I am so inspired by the loving responses given to you on this thread -- I do believe on your journey, you will experience the same. Just walk with an open heart and it will be filled.

Buen Camino~!

 

[legless]

Dear Legless,

If you are feeling shy, yet would like to reach out to someone -- simply smile and say hello.

Not everyone will be able to carry on a conversation with you because we are all on our own journey, but someone WILL.

I am so inspired by the loving responses given to you on this thread -- I do believe on your journey, you will experience the same. Just walk with an open heart and it will be filled.

Buen Camino~!

Thank you. More excellent advice and kind words. This really has been a wonderful, supportive thread.

 

[VeganCamino]

Well, it was all going so well. 5 weeks to go, practical preparation is done, physical preparation is in hand but now I am freaking out about whether or not I can do it. The mental preparation is not going well.

Who am I kidding? I'm a shy, grieving introvert - how the hell am I going to walk into different places every night and meet different people in a different country for 7 weeks? I've travelled alone before, but not since losing my partner and not for so long. With all the COVID restrictions I think I've only spcialised 3 times since his funeral.

I'm trying to learn Spanish and I can understand a good amount but when my work colleague asks me basic questions in Spanish I freeze.

Can anyone provide any soothing words to calm me down?

Sweetie, you have been through a lot. If you feel called to do this and you want to do it and you are excited about it, i bet you will have a great time. And some days will be hard and you'll look back on those and laugh. I know you can do it. It's truly your Camino. No right way. Do it your way and enjoy. Sending you lots of love and encouragement.

 

[legless]

Sweetie, you have been through a lot. If you feel called to do this and you want to do it and you are excited about it, i bet you will have a great time. And some days will be hard and you'll look back on those and laugh. I know you can do it. It's truly your Camino. No right way. Do it your way and enjoy. Sending you lots of love and encouragement.

Thank you so much, I am feeling a lot better now (2 weeks to go!) and pretty excited.

 

[legless]

Well, I've finished work for 2 months (which sounds absolutely mad and currently feels like the maddest part of the whole endeavour!), I'm almost packed and I leave at 5.30am on Friday.

I've written all your quotes and inspirational words in my travel diary, I'm sure they will be helpful. Thank you everyone, I'll keep you posted x

 

[mspath]

Well, I've finished work for 2 months (which sounds absolutely mad and currently feels like the maddest part of the whole endeavour!), I'm almost packed and I leave at 5.30am on Friday.

I've written all your quotes and inspirational words in my travel diary, I'm sure they will be helpful. Thank you everyone, I'll keep you posted x

legless,
You soon will be on your way.
Looking forward to following your journey and reading your posts.
Carpe diem and Buen camino.

 

[Former member 92300]

Well, I've finished work for 2 months (which sounds absolutely mad and currently feels like the maddest part of the whole endeavour!), I'm almost packed and I leave at 5.30am on Friday.

I've written all your quotes and inspirational words in my travel diary, I'm sure they will be helpful. Thank you everyone, I'll keep you posted x

Enjoy - it is an amazing experience! From one shy introvert to another - enjoy the time you spend alone, but you will also meet many amazing people along the way. I did a mix of both last summer. I treasured early morning walks when I saw no one for sometimes hours (hiking during COVID). But in the afternoons, evenings I often had companions to spend time with. I am going again in 2 months - and if all works out I might actually get to hike with someone I met last summer again!

 

[VNwalking]

Safe journey and buen camino, @legless!

I'll keep you posted x

Please do!

 

[legless]

Hello everyone! As predicted you were all right. I could do it and I did. I walked The Camino Frances from St Jean and then on to Muxia. The support here and along the way was incredible, including a hospitalero at Roncesvalles who held both my hands and told me to "go and find joy".

I did not expect to make what I hope will be life-long friends. My dad joined me for the from Sarria to Santiago and that was an utter privilege to be able to walk into the Plaza holding my daddy's hand. Remarkably, having all walked our own way at our own paces, so many of the people I had met in the first few days and had crossed paths with the whole way were in the plaza at the same time which was really special.

I'm not going to sugar-coat it, it was hard and I had a lot of tears, including some of joy when I completed the steep walk to Foncebadon and it didn't hurt and I wasn't out of breath! I had to make a serious point at one stage of making sure I took a rest day to fall out of step with my friends because I really needed to walk alone for a while, but in general, with a few private rooms, this introvert survived.

My Compostela is Vicarie Pro Andrew, because I did walk to honour him, and I will live to honour him, this was a lot about kickstarting wanting to live instead of just exist and I'm definitely getting there.

Thank you all for being there for me in my hours of need.

 

[Tincatinker]

@legless, thanks for letting us know how it went.
May all your roads be straight

 

[VNwalking]

Thank you all for being there for me in my hours of need

Thank you.
For this beautiful post, and for taking the time to write it, so we are not all left hanging, wondering how it went for you.
Yeah, it's hard sometimes. But now you know your capacity much better. And you'll never look at a map of Spain the same way.

this was a lot about kickstarting wanting to live instead of just exist and I'm definitely getting there.

 

[VNwalking]

P.S....

I want to be one of these reassuring voices for others in the future.

You can and will be, now.
Well done!

 

[movinmaggie]

Hi Legless,

Walk, eat and sleep.and repeat. For some this could sound boring but it's not. This simplicy gives a great opportunity to live Experiences fully and learn from them and not get distracted by modern live. So you train youself, you gear is ready ?. you are ready !

Spaniards who live on the Camino are very kind, they know what a Pilgrim needs, and is a part of their
culture. An example I lived myself: An old talked to us in spanish, he ask me where I was coming from. So you talking french ? he said. He said: I will pray for you for you get what you are searching for, in my own language what are the chances ?. This gived me a boost of energy, you will have your own moments like this one I promise you.

About the language, You know basic worlds and is perfect. you will repeat your phrases many times, people will don't care if you are making mistakes and they will be truly happy to guide you and helping you.

As an intovert myself I had to opportunity to walk more of the time alone, it's really feasible

You can go on the Camino ?..Seize it !, don't forget is only a day at the time.

Ultreïa my friend.

I am one of those 'lone' travellers, but I learned very early on - if I didn't leave myself open to others, I would miss out on the most amazing stories and experience of others. I suggest you not miss out on this opportunity of a lifetime. Go with an open heart; I feel certain you will not regret it. Buen Camino!

 

[Former member 99290]

Hello everyone! As predicted you were all right. I could do it and I did.

So happy for you and your Dad @legless

Yours is my favourite post on the forum in, well, … a very long time. So, thank you

 

[Robo]

What a joy to read your post today @legless
Well done, what an amazing journey you have had.

Are you planning the next one yet?

 

[Former member 95219]

Hello everyone! As predicted you were all right. I could do it and I did. I walked The Camino Frances from St Jean and then on to Muxia. The support here and along the way was incredible, including a hospitalero at Roncesvalles who held both my hands and told me to "go and find joy".

I did not expect to make what I hope will be life-long friends. My dad joined me for the from Sarria to Santiago and that was an utter privilege to be able to walk into the Plaza holding my daddy's hand. Remarkably, having all walked our own way at our own paces, so many of the people I had met in the first few days and had crossed paths with the whole way were in the plaza at the same time which was really special.

I'm not going to sugar-coat it, it was hard and I had a lot of tears, including some of joy when I completed the steep walk to Foncebadon and it didn't hurt and I wasn't out of breath! I had to make a serious point at one stage of making sure I took a rest day to fall out of step with my friends because I really needed to walk alone for a while, but in general, with a few private rooms, this introvert survived.

My Compostela is Vicarie Pro Andrew, because I did walk to honour him, and I will live to honour him, this was a lot about kickstarting wanting to live instead of just exist and I'm definitely getting there.

Thank you all for being there for me in my hours of need.

Lovely post that I have read and reread several times. Massive well done to you and all on board! Sorry I never saw the thread. I have gone from introvert to middle of the road I guess over last 20 years so I have seen how it can be and am still very quiet around certain types of people.

Assuming you are not out doing another Camino soon, or hosting the Oscars with a packed audience, look for small opportunities to build your way through this now you have such a sold base and know you can ‘do it’ whatever ‘do it ’ is!

I used to have a huge fear of Public speaking even at work meetings and I looked for opportunities to speak about a subject I was expert at and they knew nothing about! Very small groups but it worked (though sadly my fear of heights and snakes weren’t cured by bungee jumping and anaconda hunting!).

Maybe do a small chat on your Camino to a small group of local folks. You will be in a position of strength! It’s important to take very snall
Steps (even tho they may feel large) on a consistent basis!

 

[legless]

What a joy to read your post today @legless
Well done, what an amazing journey you have had.

Are you planning the next one yet?

Funnily enough, dad and I have literally just agreed a date for the Camino Portuguese next year. I guess it only takes a few weeks to forget how much it hurts and remember how good it makes you feel!

 

[Robo]

Funnily enough, dad and I have literally just agreed a date for the Camino Portuguese next year. I guess it only takes a few weeks to forget how much it hurts and remember how good it makes you feel!

LOL. Welcome to the Camino Addicts Club

 

[HaveringRob]

thank you so much for the update. It is good to see what happened. I really hope that you savor the moments past and enjoy the future ones.