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Did anyone regret walking the Camino?

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MhaelK

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances: SJPdP -> Fisterra, (sep 26- oct 18, 2017)
Regret is a strong word. I Dont regret walking the camino, but I regret picking the Camino Frances over del Norte.

Before the camino I was debating goining del Norte or camino Frances for a long time. The Norte just spoke to me because of the views, the hills, and the road less traveled. However, due to a weather forecast of rain, some shin troubles in the month before going, a bit unsure of how my body would react due to me walking as a way to celebrate full recovery from back troubles and surgery, and listening to people saying do the CF first, I choose the camino Frances. I actually made my final decision at the airport.

Dont get me wrong it was a great journey, and I meet some fantastic people on the way, and had some fantastic conversations. However the CF was also what I feared it would be, a turist-pilgrim superhighway. Everything is build around the camino and around serving the turists. There is a cafe every few km serving pilgrim-coffee, pilgrim-wine and pilgrim-food - I started refering to them as touristshops, but instead of selling cheap plastic items, they sell cheap food. It is like an all tourist town in your exotic travel destination - some people like these places, other people hates them.

IMO the CF is now more of a social gathering than a serious walk. This brings me to the more personal issues with the CF. I decided early that I was there to walk, and not spending time in the albergue or sitting in a cafe talking about walking all day. The CF is a fairly easy walk - which is not the same as saying walking 800km is easy - but besides walking up to Orrision from SJPP there are no real Challenges on the CF, the whole route is on nice roads made to accomodate people of all ages and shapes. So when deciding on walking until I was tired put me around 40km on average incl plenty of time for small breaks, lunch and taking in the sights. This made me kind of a Lone Walker on a route where most people average 20-30 km a day. I had to choose between doing a social walk or walking my camino. I talked to plenty of people and walked in group for days at the time but I think I would have found more people walking like me on del Norte (at least the number of albergues are smaller, and therefore a large chance of running into the same people over and over again).

Overall I highly recommend doing a camino, there is something speciel about just walking several hundred miles for weeks. Just Pick the route that speaks to you, and not the route recommend by others.
 
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Biff

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Portugues - Tui to Santiago (2014, I think)
French - St Jean to Santiago to Finester (2018)
Not yet!

Starting my second Camino next week ..... :D
 

Penny Kingma

M.S. Can't Stop Me !
Camino(s) past & future
May 29th to July 4th 2016
SJPDP to Santiago
And many, many more I pray
Everyone walks the Camino for different reasons. I left Canada on my own to walk on my own in 2016. I walked it in 35 days including two rest days. It still felt too fast..I regret not wandering off the trail. I felt sorry for those that rushed...and seemed to celebrate being the first ones in each night. They seemed to rush with heads down...not taking in the beauty around them. The beauty in the scenery but also in the people....the fellow pilgrims as well as the amazing people in the areas we walk through as pilgrims. If physicality is all you were looking for....not likely that you hit your goal....In the true riches of the Camino....you likely missed that as well....I’m still in contact and cherish my Camino family to this day. But again it was your Camino....and your individual path....so for you ....your way.
 

MhaelK

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances: SJPdP -> Fisterra, (sep 26- oct 18, 2017)
Everyone walks the Camino for different reasons. I left Canada on my own to walk on my own in 2016. I walked it in 35 days including two rest days. It still felt too fast..I regret not wandering off the trail. I felt sorry for those that rushed...and seemed to celebrate being the first ones in each night. They seemed to rush with heads down...not taking in the beauty around them. The beauty in the scenery but also in the people....the fellow pilgrims as well as the amazing people in the areas we walk through as pilgrims. If physicality is all you were looking for....not likely that you hit your goal....In the true riches of the Camino....you likely missed that as well....I’m still in contact and cherish my Camino family to this day. But again it was your Camino....and your individual path....so for you ....your way.

I dont know if this was a reply to me, and walking it to fast. If it wasn’t dont take notice of this. However I will respond only because I meet a similar response a lot along the camino - that walking more km every day must mean that I didn’t take the time to enjoy the camino.

I agree everybody walks their own camino. I didn’t walk fast just to walk fast. And i also feel sad for those people who made it into a race to be the first one in the albergue every day. This was exactly the reason I walked the long days, I didn’t want to be the first one in the albergue every night - i was there to experience the walk. And walking for +8hours every day gave me plenty of time to take in the sights, is there a better way to enjoy the sights than walk slowly past it? Even though i talked to loads of people for hours at the time I clearly missed the social family part of the camino, which is why i regret not taking the del Norte. Making it a more social trip would for me have meant spending a lot less time walking and a lot more time standing still every day.

True I didn’t spend many hours in the middle of the day sitting at a cafe drinking coffee/soda/Wine - properly the main difference in my way of walking.
 

Bradypus

Antediluvian
Camino(s) past & future
Too many and too often!
I have walked the Camino Frances three times - in 1990, 2002, and more recently in 2016. Very different experiences each time. I do sometimes have regrets about walking for the third time in 2016, for much the same reasons that @MhaelK mentions in his posts above. Many of the things which I treasured most in my earlier CF walks are now very hard to find there. The pleasures of the journey were often tinged with a sense of loss. It is very unlikely that I will walk the CF again. Instead I prefer to seek out fresh experiences on other routes.
 

Penny Kingma

M.S. Can't Stop Me !
Camino(s) past & future
May 29th to July 4th 2016
SJPDP to Santiago
And many, many more I pray
I dont know if this was a reply to me, and walking it to fast. If it wasn’t dont take notice of this. However I will respond only because I meet a similar response a lot along the camino - that walking more km every day must mean that I didn’t take the time to enjoy the camino.

I agree everybody walks their own camino. I didn’t walk fast just to walk fast. And i also feel sad for those people who made it into a race to be the first one in the albergue every day. This was exactly the reason I walked the long days, I didn’t want to be the first one in the albergue every night - i was there to experience the walk. And walking for +8hours every day gave me plenty of time to take in the sights, is there a better way to enjoy the sights than walk slowly past it? Even though i talked to loads of people for hours at the time I clearly missed the social family part of the camino, which is why i regret not taking the del Norte. Making it a more social trip would for me have meant spending a lot less time walking and a lot more time standing still every day.

True I didn’t spend many hours in the middle of the day sitting at a cafe drinking coffee/soda/Wine - properly the main difference in my way of walking.

I took short rests in the cafe to break up my day as well as just rest my M.S. feet. Most of my best talks happened while walking. At first stopping to offer an encouraging word and end up walking together for a bit. I walked slowly so I’d encourage people to move on....sometimes we’d meet up again....sometimes not...but every one of the events added to my Camino experience. I had a few I met at Orrison that were so negative and judgmental that I bought them dinner and pushed them to move forward at their pace...stating I needed to do this on my own. I ran into them a week later and quickly realized the release of their negativity was the best Camino decision I made.
Truly I wasn’t judging you....just as while walking and passing a cafe ...you don’t know if those pilgrims you see are in there for 10 minutes or hours....and if they were....that’s the Camino they choose to experience.....what they are happily experiencing. If you find yourself walking with people that bring you down or alter your experience negatively.....kindly say your goodbyes ...and do it your way.
....because as you reflect when you get home...that’s the only one I think would be truly hard to accept....Not doing it your way ❤
 

MhaelK

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances: SJPdP -> Fisterra, (sep 26- oct 18, 2017)
I took short rests in the cafe to break up my day as well as just rest my M.S. feet. Most of my best talks happened while walking. At first stopping to offer an encouraging word and end up walking together for a bit. I walked slowly so I’d encourage people to move on....sometimes we’d meet up again....sometimes not...but every one of the events added to my Camino experience. I had a few I met at Orrison that were so negative and judgmental that I bought them dinner and pushed them to move forward at their pace...stating I needed to do this on my own. I ran into them a week later and quickly realized the release of their negativity was the best Camino decision I made.
Truly I wasn’t judging you....just as while walking and passing a cafe ...you don’t know if those pilgrims you see are in there for 10 minutes or hours....and if they were....that’s the Camino they choose to experience.....what they are happily experiencing. If you find yourself walking with people that bring you down or alter your experience negatively.....kindly say your goodbyes ...and do it your way.
....because as you reflect when you get home...that’s the only one I think would be truly hard to accept....Not doing it your way ❤

Yes, walking and talking is a magical combination - one that is sure to yield deep conversations and add to the experience of the camino. I remember conversations that have affected me deeply even if the only lasted 15minutes or spaned over several hours/days.
 

biarritzdon

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF11, CF12, CP13, CF14, CA15, S.Anton15, CF&CI15
Ditch Pig16, CF&CP17, CdN18, CM18, CF18, LePuy19
OP should have already been experiencing the flooding in Navarra if he was starting in SJPdP around 11 April, I would love to hear about his regrets.
 

Casserole

Member
Camino(s) past & future
2009 - Solo, SJPdP to Finisterre
2018 - Daughter (2) and Hubby, Sarria to SdC
Even after the terrible altitude sickness going over the Pyrenees, food poisoning taking out 7 of our 8 Camino family (one ended up in the hospital), and the muscle pain, they only regret is that it has taken me 9 years to get back to it, and that I'm only doing the last 100k this time.

If you can stick through the hard times and just put one foot in front of the other, all that other stuff goes away.

And not to mention, the friends you make are unlike any friend you have or will have. There is a different sort of connection made out there. I've had some Camino family come and visit me, and I'm about to go visit some others this summer. Its a magical experience.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking.
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I have a good and blessed life at home, am not looking to find myself or run away from something. But I felt compelled as a new retiree to "give it a try" after seeing the beautiful movie "The Way". I have walked each spring since then, the Frances twice and the Norte/Primitivo and loved each one. I leave in five weeks to walk the Le Puy route. Yes, I have the bug. I have traveled to many, many beautiful places in my life, but walking the Caminos are by far my new passion and favorite. They make me feel more alive, adventurous, an overcomer, appreciative of simplicity...to name a few. I am definately not ready to retire to a recliner yet and Lord willing I hope I have quite a few more Caminos left in my future. Oh, and in walking these long distances I trick myself into thinking I am still somewhat young. ;)
 
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Mooncat

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (Fall 2015)
Regrets?Good experience?Bad experience?Bedbugs?Doing it wrong?Pack too big?Completo signs?Privacy?

When I went on my Camino in 2015, I approached it as a Pilgrimage, with no expectations of finishing, open to anything that might befall me, and with a mental preparedness to help anyone at anytime on the trail. Sounds noble, doesn't it? I am not a noble person and was terrified. I am an introvert and love my private space and my private time. I don't donate money or time to the poor. I am the average guy who sometimes looks away from other people's pain and suffering. But, I made a vow that I would give it my best shot and would take whatever was thrown at me, because I needed this to be a Pilgrimage. Not a vacation walk or competitive hike, but a Pilgrimage. The pain was constant and sometimes intense. Some nights, I was so uncomfortable, I did not sleep. The food was always welcome, but was never gourmet (usually far less). I do believe that because of my attitude, I had one of the best experiences of my lifetime and met some of the most wonderful people from all over the world. There was a moment in high winds, late in the day, alone on the trail, and 5 miles from my target town that I questioned why I was there and I broke into tears. Tears that were torn from my face by that punishing wind and scattered to the trail and fields that had been walked and worked for ten centuries. But, I shall never forget that when I arrived at the albergue that evening, a fellow pilgrim saw me and shouted my name, and another of my new friends escorted me to the sign-in desk and made sure I was given a bed. I had many such warming experiences. I have never been treated as well in my entire life. I gave it all I had and received much more in return. Buen Camino.
 

krisobn82

Kristy
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances walked in May to June 2017
Plans to walk Camino del Norte July to August 2019
Don't do it! You will regret it for the rest of your life. You will be trapped in an endless cycle of caminos: forced to walk towards Santiago for ever. Your friends will shun you and their eyes glaze over, should you ever meet, as you tell them of your latest camino just completed or eagerly anticipated. You will clutter your bookshelves with guides and accounts and your computer with links to unreadable blogs and bad videos that you will watch for hours when you could have been doing something enjoyable.

Just tell yourself its only a walk: I could do that instead of getting the bus to work.

Regret the Camino? Of course I regret the Camino. Look at me now, on the forum yet again. Seven different guidebooks piled next to the mouse-mat. Google Earth open with a tentative route through the Sierras de la Demanda mapped out. Lunch still in the concept stage at 4:30 in the afternoon...

Some might suggest that if you don't want to do the Camino. If the Camino isn't calling you then you shouldn't do it. I won't. But I will suggest that you take a long look at the reasons for your hesitation and ambivalence.
Utterly brilliant Tincatinker! Well said! :)
 

Bornean

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2015)
Chemin Le Puy/Camino del Norte/Camino Primitivo (2018)
There's really only one way to know if you'll regret it. My personal take is that regrets are inevitable, and I'd rather do something I regret than regret never having got off my bottom in the first place.

The only things I regret on Camino, well hiking in general, is that I have a habit of pushing too hard too soon and almost always injure myself in some way as a result. I get very caught up in the "zone" as hiking is my favourite thing in all the world and fills me with pure joy. I can be absolutely miserable hiking in shocking weather, using my poles as crutches while dragging an uncooperative limb behind me, and still feel like there's nothing else I'd rather be doing.

But walking the Camino is different. It's a pilgrimage that involves walking, rather than a thru-hike. And I cannot adequately express how significant that is, for me anyway.

While on Camino, I have met people who regretted it and some who truly hated it. In most cases, it appeared that expectations played a huge role in how the Camino was experienced.
 

konnie

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF; Le Puy; El Norte; Monastery Santo Toribio; Monasteries Yuso and Suso
This site is mostly full of positivity about walking the Camino (which is good) but I was just interested in any different opinions/perspectives of people that didn't like the Camino? I imagine those people wouldn't congregate on here though, but anyway, just thought I'd ask it.
I had some frustrating days on my last Camino (CF). Seemed to be a lot of competition for beds. Some were taking the bus and so arrived first in line. Others sent their bags ahead, so they could walk faster (not a bad idea to spare your knees, feet, etc, but a lighter pack is a better option in my opinion). There were also the very, very early raisers (what was all that noisy sound of rustling plastic?). But mostly every day was enjoyable. I took it slow and visited as many churches, museums and historical sites as possible. Also lingered over lunch. Food in Spain is SO good. All in all, no regrets!
 

Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
I know this is an old post, but I feel the need to respond. To be honest, I do regret walking the Camino. I spent 3 years planning and saving, and it was a difficult and unpleasant experience.( I only walked the last 117 KM, so it was a mini Camino. The positives were that the countryside is beautiful and the walk itself was enjoyable. The problem for me was the group I was with. I went with my best friend and her family and it ended up ruining our friendship. My husband got sick on the camino and my friend was annoyed with us and felt we were a burden to her. We told her to walk ahead and we would meet them at Santiago, but she refused and just fretted about our situation and took jabs at us the entire trip. My husband and I did finish the walk, but the friend environment was so toxic it ruined the experience. My advice is to walk with someone you know REALLY well and someone you have traveled before with. If I were to repeat this experience, I would have just walked with my husband alone because we could have enjoyed our own pace and not have to deal with a sergeant control freak that was only interested in getting stamps and making it to the next pension. You never really know someone until you travel with them. I also thought that many restaurants/pit stops took advantage of us- one place charged us 2 euros for a small bottle of water. I found the experience to be very touristy and very packed with people. However, I met a couple of pilgrims that were wonderful and helped my husband when he was very ill. I truly appreciate that kindness because we really needed kindness because we felt so alone and needed help. As for doing another Camino, I will take a pass. There are many places to discover and this trip didn't sit well with me. I hope that in time I can look back and just remember the beauty of the Camino. I also learned that you really don't have to walk in Spain to experience the Camino. I have walked in my local park and have been a peace with nature and God. I wish everyone a Buen Camino. Blessings to All.
 

Robo

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF SJPdP to SdC
(May 2015)
CF Sarria to SdC
(May 2016)
CF SJPDP-SdC
(Apr/May 2018)
VdlP (2020)
I know this is an old post, but I feel the need to respond. To be honest, I do regret walking the Camino. I spent 3 years planning and saving, and it was a difficult and unpleasant experience.( I only walked the last 117 KM, so it was a mini Camino. The positives were that the countryside is beautiful and the walk itself was enjoyable. The problem for me was the group I was with. I went with my best friend and her family and it ended up ruining our friendship. My husband got sick on the camino and my friend was annoyed with us and felt we were a burden to her. We told her to walk ahead and we would meet them at Santiago, but she refused and just fretted about our situation and took jabs at us the entire trip. My husband and I did finish the walk, but the friend environment was so toxic it ruined the experience. My advice is to walk with someone you know REALLY well and someone you have traveled before with. If I were to repeat this experience, I would have just walked with my husband alone because we could have enjoyed our own pace and not have to deal with a sergeant control freak that was only interested in getting stamps and making it to the next pension. You never really know someone until you travel with them. I also thought that many restaurants/pit stops took advantage of us- one place charged us 2 euros for a small bottle of water. I found the experience to be very touristy and very packed with people. However, I met a couple of pilgrims that were wonderful and helped my husband when he was very ill. I truly appreciate that kindness because we really needed kindness because we felt so alone and needed help. As for doing another Camino, I will take a pass. There are many places to discover and this trip didn't sit well with me. I hope that in time I can look back and just remember the beauty of the Camino. I also learned that you really don't have to walk in Spain to experience the Camino. I have walked in my local park and have been a peace with nature and God. I wish everyone a Buen Camino. Blessings to All.
Sorry to hear of your experience. Sadly the last part of the CF is rather touristy, busy and more commercial. But I'm sure relating your experience will help others.

I have managed three Caminos to date. Twice from St Jean to Santiago and once the last 130 kms or so, as a trial run for my wife. (she walked from St Jean with me last year)

I have to confess, my best Camino was my first one when I walked alone.
I found even walking with a 'partner' really put us under pressure at times.

Would I walk with friends? Never. A Camino, particularly a long one can place enormous burdens on the Pilgrim IMHO. Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually. Maybe I'm just selfish, but I'd rather cope with these alone, without trying to handle someone else's burdens too :oops:
 

Dani7

Stop wishing, start doing.
Camino(s) past & future
(2020) Camino Frances
I don't regret doing the Camino...I knew from the time that I saw the movie "The Way" that I had to complete the Camino...what I regret during my Camino was listening to Pilgrims that attempted to tell me the "Right Way" to walk my Camino...or before my Camino was all of the people I knew that told me that I would never complete the Camino because of my medical history...and afterward my Camino some Pilgrims that attempt to make their Camino seem more important in comparison...so my advice is do your Camino "Your Way" for your own reasons and be proud of what you accomplish.
Hear hear 👍
 

nickpellatt

Member
Camino(s) past & future
French 2015 Portuguese 2018 Norte May 2019 Finesterre and Muxia April 2019
Shame the thread starter never came back and told us of his experience.

No real regrets from me ... I made mistakes, and would have things I would change about each Camino, but certainly not regrets. I enjoyed the all, for different reasons.
 

David Tallan

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (1989 and 2016), Portugues - from Porto (2018)
I think you will find few people who regret walking the Camino here (the person who reopened the thread notwithstanding). Not necessarily because there aren't people who regret the experience. But rather because those who do regret the experience are, overall, not so likely to be spending their time hanging out in forums devoted to the Camino. They will move on with their life rather than seek to maintain the "Camino connection".

I have walked caminos both by myself and with others (my son in 2016). I found the Camino with my son as fulfilling or more so than any other caminos I've done. I would walk with friends. But I would set ground rules and expectations in advance, along with a process for changing those on the way as we learn things and an understanding that we aren't tied to each other if things aren't working out.
 

erikakiana

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Francés July-August 2019
During the Camino, everyone in my group complained a lot. There are days when you are sitting in a small village with like 30 residents and not much to do. We all looked forward to not having to push a button to keep the water running in the showers, having sheets and towels, and wearing other clothes. Then, we finished. We were like ... so when are we doing another one? It's one of those things that is so mentally and physically taxing, but at the same time, it's this crazy adventure you want back again.
 

JillGat

la tierra encantada
Camino(s) past & future
C. Frances
SJPP - Finisterre - Muxia, May 2016
C. Frances, Sept 2017
Camino Portugues, June 2019
I, personally, would never walk with a group. I can absolutely see how that would ruin a trip. I dont even bring my husband. Works beautifully for some people but I wouldn't chance it.

No matter how close you are to your friends, family or even spouse, what you love and have in common with them is usually not your walking pace, your travel style, even necessarily your choice of accommodations. I love to stop for nature and animals... my husband doesn't. He gets up early in the morning, I stay up late at night. These different habits don't affect us so much at home, but they would on the camino.

On the camino, you will naturally meet people who walk like you do, have similar interests like stopping in churches, walking a similar distance each day. You might not have any thing in common with them at home; they probably wouldn't necessarily even be your friends. But they will be way more compatible with you on the Camino (And if not, you can always ditch em). I did meet sisters walking together, friends and spouses walking together who had a great time, but I also met some who had real problems.

My only regret about the Camino is that there are so many other parts of the world I want to see and I keep getting drawn back to Spain.

Here's a question, not a criticism. Why would someone who regretted walking the camino be visiting this forum?
 
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davebugg

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2017)
Camino Frances (2018)
Camino Ingles (2019)
I know this is an old post, but I feel the need to respond. To be honest, I do regret walking the Camino. I spent 3 years planning and saving, and it was a difficult and unpleasant experience.( I only walked the last 117 KM, so it was a mini Camino. The positives were that the countryside is beautiful and the walk itself was enjoyable. The problem for me was the group I was with. I went with my best friend and her family and it ended up ruining our friendship. My husband got sick on the camino and my friend was annoyed with us and felt we were a burden to her. We told her to walk ahead and we would meet them at Santiago, but she refused and just fretted about our situation and took jabs at us the entire trip. My husband and I did finish the walk, but the friend environment was so toxic it ruined the experience. My advice is to walk with someone you know REALLY well and someone you have traveled before with. If I were to repeat this experience, I would have just walked with my husband alone because we could have enjoyed our own pace and not have to deal with a sergeant control freak that was only interested in getting stamps and making it to the next pension. You never really know someone until you travel with them. I also thought that many restaurants/pit stops took advantage of us- one place charged us 2 euros for a small bottle of water. I found the experience to be very touristy and very packed with people. However, I met a couple of pilgrims that were wonderful and helped my husband when he was very ill. I truly appreciate that kindness because we really needed kindness because we felt so alone and needed help. As for doing another Camino, I will take a pass. There are many places to discover and this trip didn't sit well with me. I hope that in time I can look back and just remember the beauty of the Camino. I also learned that you really don't have to walk in Spain to experience the Camino. I have walked in my local park and have been a peace with nature and God. I wish everyone a Buen Camino. Blessings to All.
:) Yours is the reason why I seldom - - VERY seldom - - backpack with others. I have my own rhythm, my own internal clock, my own needs, my own sense of what I want to experience or NOT experience. . . . it is simply too much work to walk with anyone else. Walking with others can make the experience a fatiguing and tedious exercise in patience and trying to avoid thoughts of mayhem :)

In 5 decades of backpacking, and for two Caminos, there are only three people that were completely compatible with how I hike and walk. . . one of those is my oldest son, Caleb, who started hiking with me when he was three years old.

So in addition to all of the physical challenges, mental exercises, and practical issues you faced when doing a multi-day walk in a foreign country, you also took on doing it with other people. Forget the fact that you knew those people, you did not know them as walking companions. :)

You are not alone in experiencing the unpleasantness of walking with others - - or even ONE other. Heck, a lot of folks cannot even get along together on car-powered road trip, I am not surprised when I hear stories like yours.

But, I wonder if, in the long run, you can examine and separate the problems caused by walking with others, from the experience of simply being on the Camino. In other words, how badly did walking with your friend mangle and color your entire outlook of the Camino itself, creating a filter that saw things in a far more negative light than if you were by yourself? Heck, how I view something in the moment can be affected by a tiny drop in my energy levels and blood sugar :)

I am not trying to convince you to change your mind about doing another Camino. . . I get where you are coming from. I do think that it might be worthwhile to consider just how much of the negativity can be attributed by walking with someone else, and also choosing to do the Camino from a starting point that is brimming with overflow crowds and a heavier commercialization the Camino due to its heavy popularity as a starting point.

Having walked thousands of miles of wilderness backpacking, including thru-hikes of the Pacific Crest Trail and Colorado Trail, I absolutely agree with you that you do not need to go to Spain or France or Israel or Tibet, etc to enjoy the Peace of a spiritual commune with nature, and nature's creator, God, when walking or backpacking.

I do hope that you are somehow able to seek reconciliation with your friend, and that the things which bound you in friendship in the past allows you to reconnect in the future. Forgiveness, even if their is no reconciliation, is a powerful healing balm.

My prayers go with you. :)
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking.
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Interesting observations and thoughts, Dave. Lots of truth in what you say, yet believe there is some good responses to help balance out the bad. I have loved walking with my son(s), but I also enjoyed "most" of my experiences with my Camino girlfriends when we decided to walk the Le Puy route together last summer...everyone's experience is indeed different. No right or wrong necessarily. My good with them outweighed the bad...just sayin.
 
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Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking.
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I, personally, would never walk with a group. I can absolutely see how that would ruin a trip. I dont even bring my husband. Works beautifully for some people but I wouldn't chance it.

No matter how close you are to your friends family or even spouse, what you love and have in common with them is usually not your walking pace, your travel style, even choice of accomodations. I love to stop for nature and animals... my husband doesn't. He gets up early in the morning, I stay up late at night. These different habits dont affect us badly at home, but they would on the camino.

On the camino, you will naturally meet people who walk like you do, have similar interests like stopping in churchs, go a similar distance each day. You might not have any thing in common with them at home; they probably wouldnt even be your friends. But they will be way more compatable with you on the Camino (And if not, you can always ditch em).

My only regret about the Camino is that there are so many other parts of the world I want to see and I keep getting drawn back to Spain.

Here's a question, not a criticism. Why would someone who regretted walking the camino be visiting this forum?

Thats my opinion and my experience.
Good points you make, Jill. My hubby has no interest in walking the Camino. He joined me in 2017 in Santiago and walked from Muxia in two days to Finesterre. It rained the first day. It did nothing to whet his appetite. We did rent a vehicle and headed to Portugal afterward...he was much happier touring around.
We are all different, even within a marriage...I'd never noticed it so much until my love for the Caminos swept into my life.
 

davebugg

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2017)
Camino Frances (2018)
Camino Ingles (2019)
Intersting observations and thoughts, Dave. Lots of truth in what you say, yet believe there is some good responses to help balance out the bad. I have loved walking with my son(s), but I also enjoyed "most" of my experiences with my Camino girlfriends when we decided to walk the Le Puy route together last summer...everyone's experience is indeed different. No right or wrong necessarily. My good with them outweighed the bad...just sayin.
You are absolutely correct. I apologize if I made it sound if my preference is - or must be - the norm for everyone. I meant it as an example that may be applicable to others but not necessarily to all.

There are folks who love groups or companions to walk with. Others can have real issues that make it difficult to develop an 'in-synch' compatibility. I guess I wanted those who have never walked with others during something like a Camino, to think about the necessity of considering the Fit-and-Feel of doing so. Just as with trying out a new pair of shoes or a backpack for comfort and compatibility, one needs to be aware that walking with others involves much the same consideration. :)

For me, hiking by myself inspires me to pay attention to the surrounding world. There are no distracting voices, conversations, humming, farting, or grumbles. While alone, I'm more likely to observe birds, furry fauna, slinking lizards, cloud shadows racing across the landscape and cricket sounds playing harmony with the buzzing of bees. It's these interactions with nature that really draw me to hiking solo. Even on Camino.

In the shadow of what I enjoy about solo walking, the choice of a hiking companion is no simple or easy matter :)
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking.
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Hey, Dave! I usually walk with my son or sons. I walked with two Camino girlfriends last summer. It went quite well overall, but I think three or more friends...aka a "group" might have been a disaster. I DO know what you are saying. 😉
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking.
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Shame the thread starter never came back and told us of his experience.

No real regrets from me ... I made mistakes, and would have things I would change about each Camino, but certainly not regrets. I enjoyed the all, for different reasons.
I'm sure we can all regret a few things after spending 4-6 weeks walking the Camino, being out of our comfort zone of nornal life, especially for those who do not hike or mesh with others in normal life... We are human with the varying frailties that are in each of us. Let's not beat ourselves up for that. Agree, it would be nice to hear from the OP in hindsight.
 

JillGat

la tierra encantada
Camino(s) past & future
C. Frances
SJPP - Finisterre - Muxia, May 2016
C. Frances, Sept 2017
Camino Portugues, June 2019
For me, hiking by myself inspires me to pay attention to the surrounding world. There are no distracting voices, conversations, humming, farting, or grumbles. While alone, I'm more likely to observe birds, furry fauna, slinking lizards, cloud shadows racing across the landscape and cricket sounds playing harmony with the buzzing of bees. It's these interactions with nature that really draw me to hiking solo. Even on Camino.
Exactamente. There is a HUGE difference in what you see and experience while walking alone compared to walking with others.
 

Robo

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF SJPdP to SdC
(May 2015)
CF Sarria to SdC
(May 2016)
CF SJPDP-SdC
(Apr/May 2018)
VdlP (2020)
Exactamente. There is a HUGE difference in what you see and experience while walking alone compared to walking with others.
I'm planning a really long Camino next........ No one else will want to join me ;)
 

Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
:) Yours is the reason why I seldom - - VERY seldom - - backpack with others. I have my own rhythm, my own internal clock, my own needs, my own sense of what I want to experience or NOT experience. . . . it is simply too much work to walk with anyone else. Walking with others can make the experience a fatiguing and tedious exercise in patience and trying to avoid thoughts of mayhem :)

In 5 decades of backpacking, and for two Caminos, there are only three people that were completely compatible with how I hike and walk. . . one of those is my oldest son, Caleb, who started hiking with me when he was three years old.

So in addition to all of the physical challenges, mental exercises, and practical issues you faced when doing a multi-day walk in a foreign country, you also took on doing it with other people. Forget the fact that you knew those people, you did not know them as walking companions. :)

You are not alone in experiencing the unpleasantness of walking with others - - or even ONE other. Heck, a lot of folks cannot even get along together on car-powered road trip, I am not surprised when I hear stories like yours.

But, I wonder if, in the long run, you can examine and separate the problems caused by walking with others, from the experience of simply being on the Camino. In other words, how badly did walking with your friend mangle and color your entire outlook of the Camino itself, creating a filter that saw things in a far more negative light than if you were by yourself? Heck, how I view something in the moment can be affected by a tiny drop in my energy levels and blood sugar :)

I am not trying to convince you to change your mind about doing another Camino. . . I get where you are coming from. I do think that it might be worthwhile to consider just how much of the negativity can be attributed by walking with someone else, and also choosing to do the Camino from a starting point that is brimming with overflow crowds and a heavier commercialization the Camino due to its heavy popularity as a starting point.

Having walked thousands of miles of wilderness backpacking, including thru-hikes of the Pacific Crest Trail and Colorado Trail, I absolutely agree with you that you do not need to go to Spain or France or Israel or Tibet, etc to enjoy the Peace of a spiritual commune with nature, and nature's creator, God, when walking or backpacking.

I do hope that you are somehow able to seek reconciliation with your friend, and that the things which bound you in friendship in the past allows you to reconnect in the future. Forgiveness, even if their is no reconciliation, is a powerful healing balm.

My prayers go with you. :)
Dave- Thank you very much for your insightful and thoughtful post. You gave me some great advice and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I truly appreciate it! Sally
 

davebugg

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2017)
Camino Frances (2018)
Camino Ingles (2019)
Dave- Thank you very much for your insightful and thoughtful post. You gave me some great advice and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I truly appreciate it! Sally
You're welcome, Sally.

Please, if you have updates with regard to how things change about either your feelings about the Camino or about your relationship with your friend, I hope you will post them. This Forum and its members can be a wonderful, supportive venue for both venting and healing. Believe me, I know. :)
 

CAJohn

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances Sept/Oct 2019
I know this is an old post, but I feel the need to respond. To be honest, I do regret walking the Camino. I spent 3 years planning and saving, and it was a difficult and unpleasant experience.( I only walked the last 117 KM, so it was a mini Camino. The positives were that the countryside is beautiful and the walk itself was enjoyable. The problem for me was the group I was with. I went with my best friend and her family and it ended up ruining our friendship. My husband got sick on the camino and my friend was annoyed with us and felt we were a burden to her. We told her to walk ahead and we would meet them at Santiago, but she refused and just fretted about our situation and took jabs at us the entire trip. My husband and I did finish the walk, but the friend environment was so toxic it ruined the experience. My advice is to walk with someone you know REALLY well and someone you have traveled before with. If I were to repeat this experience, I would have just walked with my husband alone because we could have enjoyed our own pace and not have to deal with a sergeant control freak that was only interested in getting stamps and making it to the next pension. You never really know someone until you travel with them. I also thought that many restaurants/pit stops took advantage of us- one place charged us 2 euros for a small bottle of water. I found the experience to be very touristy and very packed with people. However, I met a couple of pilgrims that were wonderful and helped my husband when he was very ill. I truly appreciate that kindness because we really needed kindness because we felt so alone and needed help. As for doing another Camino, I will take a pass. There are many places to discover and this trip didn't sit well with me. I hope that in time I can look back and just remember the beauty of the Camino. I also learned that you really don't have to walk in Spain to experience the Camino. I have walked in my local park and have been a peace with nature and God. I wish everyone a Buen Camino. Blessings to All.
Your friend was toxic. She is no longer in your life it sounds. That is probably a good thing.

I am sure this was all very unpleasant, but I the Camino did not cause your best friend to act the way that she did. It may have brought her pathological behavior more out in the open, but I would guess that there were hints of it from before. Maybe directed towards you or towards others.

I am sorry that your Camino was so painful, but I don't think that I would mourn the loss of this particular friend. Perhaps the Camino gave you what you needed: freedom from a toxic relationship.
 

Nick B

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances - May/June 2018
Portugese - (2019)
Norte - (2020)
Most peoples lives are one of day to day drudgery, earning money, paying taxes, paying bills, looking after children and buying things they don't really need. It's the reason 99% of people own a TV and consume hours of negativity, stupidity, violence, brainwashing, lies and the likes of the Kardashians earning millions by being watched by bored people.

TV = opiate of the masses

The Camino for me breaks that day to day drudgery, for five weeks last year I didn't consume one minute of moronic TV and constant fear promoted by MSM, I got blisters, sore feet, rained on and had to listen to a couple of whingers but I got fit, saw some magnificent scenery, experienced a different culture and thousands of years of history while meeting many interesting people.

Five weeks spent experiencing the world rather than the drudgery of daily existence. everyone sees things differently, has different expectations so each to their own in my opinion.

I have no regrets walking last year and leave Porto in a couple of weeks for my second walk. The drudgery will be here when I return just as the Camino will break it again next year when I embark on my third and possibly fourth Camino.
 

KinkyOne

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
I'am not perfect, but I'm always myself!!!
Reading posts of last two days makes me wonder something.

The expression "walking together" cause problem for me. I have the impression that mainly folks from US use this or even understand it as walking side by side and be together all the time, talking etc.. Like feeling kind of a responsibility to be by the side of a person you started your journey with at all times. Wrong!

Last year I was a guide to a person and we walked together but I walked at least 50 meters behind to give "space". Yes there was times we walked side by side and chatted and so on but it's Camino and you need your spiritual space for it also. And if someone, even a spouse, can't understand it, well then yes just ditch 'em and go your way. It's just like saying that Camino is a mirror of life simplified ;)

And what could be more rewarding than having a glass of tinto with your companion after a hot day of walking, showering, washing your stinky socks etc. In silence. If needed or wished. Just a glance. And a nod. In the sunset :)
 
Camino(s) past & future
Nearly every year since 2006, often walking more than one route.
I've been frustrated, angry, disheartened, disappointed, and depressed, but never regretted walking.
Last year I said I'd never walk again. That lasted one season. I have a trip planned for Holy Year 2021. :p
 
Camino(s) past & future
Frances(2006) Portugues(2013)
San Salvador (2017) Ingles (2019)
I know this is an old post, but I feel the need to respond. To be honest, I do regret walking the Camino. I spent 3 years planning and saving, and it was a difficult and unpleasant experience.( I only walked the last 117 KM, so it was a mini Camino. The positives were that the countryside is beautiful and the walk itself was enjoyable. The problem for me was the group I was with. I went with my best friend and her family and it ended up ruining our friendship. My husband got sick on the camino and my friend was annoyed with us and felt we were a burden to her. We told her to walk ahead and we would meet them at Santiago, but she refused and just fretted about our situation and took jabs at us the entire trip. My husband and I did finish the walk, but the friend environment was so toxic it ruined the experience. My advice is to walk with someone you know REALLY well and someone you have traveled before with. If I were to repeat this experience, I would have just walked with my husband alone because we could have enjoyed our own pace and not have to deal with a sergeant control freak that was only interested in getting stamps and making it to the next pension. You never really know someone until you travel with them. I also thought that many restaurants/pit stops took advantage of us- one place charged us 2 euros for a small bottle of water. I found the experience to be very touristy and very packed with people. However, I met a couple of pilgrims that were wonderful and helped my husband when he was very ill. I truly appreciate that kindness because we really needed kindness because we felt so alone and needed help. As for doing another Camino, I will take a pass. There are many places to discover and this trip didn't sit well with me. I hope that in time I can look back and just remember the beauty of the Camino. I also learned that you really don't have to walk in Spain to experience the Camino. I have walked in my local park and have been a peace with nature and God. I wish everyone a Buen Camino. Blessings to All.
Sally, i am sorry that’s been your camino experience. I love your attitude re peace with nature and God. Who knows, yes or no, whether you might not try again, with just yourself and husband... meantime, make the most of whatever places give you that experience of peace. There’s a thread on the forum, where did you walk locally, that you might be interested in reading... as for your lost friendship: either it is time to let it go, or see if it can be salvaged. Depends on how much peace you find in your local park!
 
Camino(s) past & future
Frances(2006) Portugues(2013)
San Salvador (2017) Ingles (2019)
Most peoples lives are one of day to day drudgery, earning money, paying taxes, paying bills, looking after children and buying things they don't really need. It's the reason 99% of people own a TV and consume hours of negativity, stupidity, violence, brainwashing, lies and the likes of the Kardashians earning millions by being watched by bored people.

TV = opiate of the masses

The Camino for me breaks that day to day drudgery, for five weeks last year I didn't consume one minute of moronic TV and constant fear promoted by MSM, I got blisters, sore feet, rained on and had to listen to a couple of whingers but I got fit, saw some magnificent scenery, experienced a different culture and thousands of years of history while meeting many interesting people.

Five weeks spent experiencing the world rather than the drudgery of daily existence. everyone sees things differently, has different expectations so each to their own in my opinion.

I have no regrets walking last year and leave Porto in a couple of weeks for my second walk. The drudgery will be here when I return just as the Camino will break it again next year when I embark on my third and possibly fourth Camino.
Nick, why not sell your television? That would get rid of one spot of tedium. You could put a nice pot stand with cacti in its place...
 

Derrybiketours

A journey of 500 miles begins with one step!
Camino(s) past & future
SJPdP-SANT-FIN (09/2018)
PORTO-SANT (11/2018)
Caminho Da Fe (01/2019)
SJPdP- Meseta (28/09/2019)
I was just interested in any different opinions/perspectives of people that didn't like the Camino?
A very good question but correct me if I'm wrong the reason for the question has got more to do with your perspective and curiosity around contributing to the debate with what is an original question, less discussed on this forum!
What you have discovered with the variety of camino affirming responses as you may well find out is that the Camino is a people path of positive intention. You receive what you reflect. If you focus on all the negative aspects that could present themselves such as theft, dehydration, pain, injury, blister's, lack of sleep, snorers, bag rustlers, foul odours, weather too hot, too cold, lack of hot showers, too cold at night, open windows, closed windows, no windows, top bunk next to toilets, bed bugs, energy vampires, being overcharged and feeling that your being ripped off and walk with that mindset you will attract others who you can share in the negativity of your camino and you can return to start a forum caminodesantiago.MisEry. But it only takes one act of humanity, kindness, charity and being or seeing a guardian angel, experiencing a 'thin place' and feeling the universal energy that surrounds you on the way to shatter any illusions of what you thought was important. Sending you positive intention. Ultreia 🤠
 
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Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
Sally, i am sorry that’s been your camino experience. I love your attitude re peace with nature and God. Who knows, yes or no, whether you might not try again, with just yourself and husband... meantime, make the most of whatever places give you that experience of peace. There’s a thread on the forum, where did you walk locally, that you might be interested in reading... as for your lost friendship: either it is time to let it go, or see if it can be salvaged. Depends on how much peace you find in your local park!
Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind post. Buen Camino
 

Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
Your friend was toxic. She is no longer in your life it sounds. That is probably a good thing.

I am sure this was all very unpleasant, but I the Camino did not cause your best friend to act the way that she did. It may have brought her pathological behavior more out in the open, but I would guess that there were hints of it from before. Maybe directed towards you or towards others.

I am sorry that your Camino was so painful, but I don't think that I would mourn the loss of this particular friend. Perhaps the Camino gave you what you needed: freedom from a toxic relationship.
I agree. Thank you for taking the time to post your message. Sally
 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)
@Sally Jones , your story highlights how the camino can bring out everyone's latent tendencies, and hidden tensions in relationships. In your case, it sounds like this particular friend cared more about her plan than she did about you or your husband's health. So now you see what's under the veneer of friendship, which can be so painful. Sadness is a normal response to something like that, but regret? Well, at least now you know, which is never a bad thing even if it is sad.

And if you want to salvage this friendship, you also have a pretty clear picture of where the other party stands. If you are both willing to do the work of really connecting and honestly communicating, once you work through the residue of this the friendship will be even deeper. And if she only wants to go back to how things were before, as if nothing happened? You can sail on, unencumbered by a pseudo-friend.
May you have all blessings, peregrina.
 

jsalt

Jill
Camino(s) past & future
Portugués, Francés, Le Puy, Rota Vicentina, Soulac, Norte, Madrid, Salvador, Primitivo, Aragonés
As for doing another Camino, I will take a pass.
Hi Sally, your post could have been written by a friend of mine! She came on a camino with me for a couple of weeks. After a few days we both realised that this wasn’t working. Fortunately, we also both realised (although neither of us said anything) that if we were going to be friends AFTER we got back home we were both going to have to work very hard right now at not jeopardising that relationship. It was really tough, and I think we both learnt a lot about all kinds of stuff, like tolerance, patience, understanding, whatever, so I don’t regret ever having asked her to come with me; I’m just glad that it wasn’t for longer! So is she! We can laugh about it now, and while I rave about the camino, she equally tells everyone NEVER again. The camino is not for everyone. Jill
 

Micah26

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino France's (2018)
I have walked 1 camino Frances last Fall. I had planned for a couple years to walk for my friend who died of cancer (and who would have been right by my side)... and I walked for my mother who passed also of cancer. In the end, I truly walked for me. I had cared for four people all died from cancer. I needed the time to decide what to do with the rest of my life. I am also an introvert, but had no difficulties getting enough quiet time, balanced with more communal time. I am not an athlete! In fact I had a major stroke and decided that walking 1 mile was as good as 500. I had no expectations. I enjoyed the beautiful country of Spain and its people. My first day of walking from Pamplona I truly thought I would ever make it... but I did very slowly. It was the balm I needed to help heal my grief. This journey is different for everyone. Enjoy being present in each step. There are no rules other than to be respectful and kind to others. Buen Camino!
 

Nick B

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances - May/June 2018
Portugese - (2019)
Norte - (2020)
Nick, why not sell your television? That would get rid of one spot of tedium. You could put a nice pot stand with cacti in its place...
Cacti sounds nice, I don't watch a great deal except some sport but find so called news as brainwashing.
 

Anthony18

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
2019
Regarding lodging options, I adapted to dormitory sleeping readily. That being said by one who traveled the world for business for over 20 years and stayed in some of the finest hotels and designed 3 and 4 star hotels in SE Asia while I was an architect in Sydney.
What I regret is how unkind pilgrims can be to one who snores. I snore and I have had some very regrettable morning of abuse by total strangers. Strangers who I never plan to associate with again.
That was unfortunately something that I noticed often. Snorers were treated like lepers by others.
 

Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
@Sally Jones , your story highlights how the camino can bring out everyone's latent tendencies, and hidden tensions in relationships. In your case, it sounds like this particular friend cared more about her plan than she did about you or your husband's health. So now you see what's under the veneer of friendship, which can be so painful. Sadness is a normal response to something like that, but regret? Well, at least now you know, which is never a bad thing even if it is sad.

And if you want to salvage this friendship, you also have a pretty clear picture of where the other party stands. If you are both willing to do the work of really connecting and honestly communicating, once you work through the residue of this the friendship will be even deeper. And if she only wants to go back to how things were before, as if nothing happened? You can sail on, unencumbered by a pseudo-friend.
May you have all blessings, peregrina.
Thank you for taking the time to share with me. I have not heard from my friend since my return. I doubt I will. She knows my husband ended up in the hospital upon our return and yet- no call. I agree- the Camino showed me who she was. I was grateful to have many pilgrims help us on the journey. I will never forget the kindness of strangers and that was so appreciated. Excellent advice. Thank you. Sally
 

Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
I have walked 1 camino Frances last Fall. I had planned for a couple years to walk for my friend who died of cancer (and who would have been right by my side)... and I walked for my mother who passed also of cancer. In the end, I truly walked for me. I had cared for four people all died from cancer. I needed the time to decide what to do with the rest of my life. I am also an introvert, but had no difficulties getting enough quiet time, balanced with more communal time. I am not an athlete! In fact I had a major stroke and decided that walking 1 mile was as good as 500. I had no expectations. I enjoyed the beautiful country of Spain and its people. My first day of walking from Pamplona I truly thought I would ever make it... but I did very slowly. It was the balm I needed to help heal my grief. This journey is different for everyone. Enjoy being present in each step. There are no rules other than to be respectful and kind to others. Buen Camino!
I’m sorry to hear about the loved ones you have lost- it is so hard. Congratulations on completing your Camino. I hope you always walk in peace and joy. Buen Camino
 

Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
Hi Sally, your post could have been written by a friend of mine! She came on a camino with me for a couple of weeks. After a few days we both realised that this wasn’t working. Fortunately, we also both realised (although neither of us said anything) that if we were going to be friends AFTER we got back home we were both going to have to work very hard right now at not jeopardising that relationship. It was really tough, and I think we both learnt a lot about all kinds of stuff, like tolerance, patience, understanding, whatever, so I don’t regret ever having asked her to come with me; I’m just glad that it wasn’t for longer! So is she! We can laugh about it now, and while I rave about the camino, she equally tells everyone NEVER again. The camino is not for everyone. Jill
Glad you and your friend were fine afterwards. Unfortunately, for the time being, I doubt we will be. It was truly an awful week for my husband and me. I regret going with my friend so much- she ruined everything with her negativity and nasty remarks. When my husband fell ill- she could have cared less. Life is much more than stamping and walking. It was just a great mess- and I pray that I can look back with fondness in the future. Thank you for sharing! Sally
 

Sally Jones

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
August 2019
You're welcome, Sally.

Please, if you have updates with regard to how things change about either your feelings about the Camino or about your relationship with your friend, I hope you will post them. This Forum and its members can be a wonderful, supportive venue for both venting and healing. Believe me, I know. :)
Thanks Dave- I will keep you posted. I think the friendship has run its course, but only God knows. Today I walked in our park- upstate NY- with my 2 dogs-in the most beautiful weather. Life is good. I believe my Camino is here in my backyard. Thank you for being such a kind soul. It’s truly appreciated.
Sally
 

O Peracha

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Le Puy to Santiago (2014)
Annapurna Base, Nepal (2014)
GR 5 - Holland to Pompey, France (2015)
Lisbon to Finesterre (2016)
Last year I said I'd never walk again. I have a trip planned for Holy Year 2021. :p
I've said never again after every single camino and pass-thru hike, starting with the first one, five years ago. I have done at least one each year since then. So . . .

Currently planning my April 2020 trip. Sad!!!
As for Holy Year . . . Yep, me too.
 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)
Life is much more than stamping and walking. It was just a great mess- and I pray that I can look back with fondness in the future.
Indeed. It very much is. Sometimes people fixate on all the wrong things.
I'm sorry it was such an awful week, Sally, after traveling all that way. And we also hope you can eventually more remember the goodness in that week, at some point.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Frances(2006) Portugues(2013)
San Salvador (2017) Ingles (2019)
Cacti sounds nice, I don't watch a great deal except some sport but find so called news as brainwashing.
As you can imagine, my words were tongue in cheek. So long as you are in charge, your tv can be a friend. I use the screen sometimes to project from my laptop, whenever i am at home during Wimbledon, and occasionally for something specific that I have been told about. Sorry, op, end of hijack.
 

MarkyD

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Francés 31/08/2018 - 20/10/2018
Competing the Camino proves that "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs" is not always correct...you can achieve "Self-Actualization" and "Esteem" without satisfying your "Physiological" and "Safety" Needs...I think that is why you meet so many Combat Veterans and Cancer Survivors on the difficult parts of the Camino...there is a personal desire for these Pilgrims to conquer another goal while dealing with memories of the past.

View attachment 40772
Brilliant, that is spot on in my opinion. I don't think Maslow walked the Camino as part of his studies into positive human qualities.
 

Kathar1na

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Santiago and beyond (own way - voie de Tours - camino francés - Biskaya - Manche)
Comp(l?)eting the Camino proves that "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs" is not always correct...you can achieve "Self-Actualization" and "Esteem" without satisfying your "Physiological" and "Safety" Needs
Brilliant, that is spot on in my opinion. I don't think Maslow walked the Camino as part of his studies into positive human qualities.
Huh? Do you really think hundreds of thousands would strive for self-actualisation on the Pilgrim Caminos of Northern Spain without the fact that many of their basic physiological and safety needs are so easily and cheaply met there? Food and drink a plenty, next to nothing of which has to be searched for or carried, beds everywhere and at a small cost only, the biggest dangers to you at night in your albergue bed are bed bugs and snorers and there are no bears anywhere near you during the day and no armed mochila robber hiding behind every bush or rock? That is the very key of its contemporary success and it meets plenty of these physiological and safety needs. At least imho.
 
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Phoenix

Member
Camino(s) past & future
2014, CF: partial
2016, CF: SJPdP to Burgos/Leon to SdC
2018, CF: partial
I have walked caminos both by myself and with others (my son in 2016). I found the Camino with my son as fulfilling or more so than any other caminos I've done. I would walk with friends. But I would set ground rules and expectations in advance, along with a process for changing those on the way as we learn things and an understanding that we aren't tied to each other if things aren't working out.
I, too, have walked with my son and solo. Walking with my son was one of the best experiences of my life, but there were a few challenges as well. He, after being away from home for 5 years in the military, and I, after 5 years of being an empty-nester, were not quite the same people any longer. I realized that I had to, at times, revert to the father he expected me to be before rather than the "free-spirited old man" (his words) I had become. Other times I had to remind him I was his father, not one one of his military buddies he could insult or gripe at. In the end, the Camino proved to be a great transition for our new relationship after 5 years apart growing into new versions of ourselves. In walking solo, I enjoyed the freedom to just be myself, although sometimes I could hear his sarcastic wit or see him rolling his eyes in the back of my mind.

I will be leading a group on the CP in 2020. I am already working with them to understand how we will go as a group but function as solo trekkers throughout the day.
 

Malachiuri

CaminoTranquilo
Camino(s) past & future
St Jean to Burgos '17
St Jean to Fisterra '18
St Jean to Fisterra '20
Portuguese '20
Norte '21
I regret my experiences on the CF in 2017. Had so many snakes in my head I decided to leave my friends and come home from Burgos. Lots of reasons, all of them personal and based largely on my arrogance about my mental and physical fitness level. I figgured running a few half marathons a year and hitting the gym 5 days a week was enough. NOPE!

Less than a year later I went back and walked with a tremendous friend from SJPdP to the sea. It was a life changing, terrific experience.

My wife DEEPLY regrets my second Camino, as it has kindled a terrible new hobby...

M
 

malingerer

Active Member
Don't do it! You will regret it for the rest of your life. You will be trapped in an endless cycle of caminos: forced to walk towards Santiago for ever. Your friends will shun you and their eyes glaze over, should you ever meet, as you tell them of your latest camino just completed or eagerly anticipated. You will clutter your bookshelves with guides and accounts and your computer with links to unreadable blogs and bad videos that you will watch for hours when you could have been doing something enjoyable.

Just tell yourself its only a walk: I could do that instead of getting the bus to work.

Regret the Camino? Of course I regret the Camino. Look at me now, on the forum yet again. Seven different guidebooks piled next to the mouse-mat. Google Earth open with a tentative route through the Sierras de la Demanda mapped out. Lunch still in the concept stage at 4:30 in the afternoon...

Some might suggest that if you don't want to do the Camino. If the Camino isn't calling you then you shouldn't do it. I won't. But I will suggest that you take a long look at the reasons for your hesitation and ambivalence.
Ya gone and said it all, just as I was warming up me best pithy remarks! I regret Camino bitterly when I look at my debts piling up around me and would cheerfully do a Richard the Lionheart if I could! He is reported to have said he would pawn London if he could find a buyer in order to finance his Crusade! A man after me own heart! So keep on truckin ! Ya know ya want to! :)

The Malingerer.
 

Icacos

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2013)
I regret that I wasn’t able to walk the camino better. I had PTSD at the time and could not put into the camino or give of myself to others as I would have wanted to, nor was I able to get out of it what others say they have got. I still hope to go back someday and do it better.
 

Robo

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF SJPdP to SdC
(May 2015)
CF Sarria to SdC
(May 2016)
CF SJPDP-SdC
(Apr/May 2018)
VdlP (2020)
I, too, have walked with my son and solo. Walking with my son was one of the best experiences of my life, but there were a few challenges as well. He, after being away from home for 5 years in the military, and I, after 5 years of being an empty-nester, were not quite the same people any longer. I realized that I had to, at times, revert to the father he expected me to be before rather than the "free-spirited old man" (his words) I had become. Other times I had to remind him I was his father, not one one of his military buddies he could insult or gripe at. In the end, the Camino proved to be a great transition for our new relationship after 5 years apart growing into new versions of ourselves. In walking solo, I enjoyed the freedom to just be myself, although sometimes I could hear his sarcastic wit or see him rolling his eyes in the back of my mind.

I will be leading a group on the CP in 2020. I am already working with them to understand how we will go as a group but function as solo trekkers throughout the day.
Sounds like a good approach.
If my wife walks with me again. she realises that we might need to walk apart during the day.
Not only because we walk at different paces, but because she 'relies' on me too much during the day and hence misses out on much of the Camino experience of 'overcoming' things, meeting new people, having to interact with locals etc. She realises it will be a richer experience if she 'breaks out' a bit on her own.
 

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