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Search 69,459 Camino Questions

Don't grow up: It's a trap.

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“Don't grow up: It's a trap” .......

Hmm .... not sure about that.
Some grow up too late and some, unfortunately, never grow up.

Does the Camino help a person to ‘grow up’? Yes. I think so. I wish I had done it years ago.

I share your sentiment but not too sure about the statement.
 
New Original Camino Gear Designed Especially with The Modern Peregrino In Mind!
What I read into Alex's title is that we are better off not taking a lot of societal priorities so seriously.

There is much more to life than how important we are or how much money we make or or what we possess. Our essence is so much deeper than all that.
"What does a man need – really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in – and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That’s all – in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade.

The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.

Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?”

Wanderer, Sterling Hayden

The quote from a book written back in the 60's possibly more appropriate now than it was back then. None of us get out of this existence called life alive, best to keep living rather than existing.
 
What I read into Alex's title is that we are better off not taking a lot of societal priorities so seriously.

There is much more to life than how important we are or how much money we make or or what we possess. Our essence is so much deeper than all that.
Agree
There are no pockets in a shroud and you certainly can't take it with you!
 
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At 75 and after several times on CF I couldn't agree more "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now" Under Covid restrictions I am currently planning next trip - sadly will have to wait till 2022 or 2023.
 
Get a spanish phone number with Airalo. eSim, so no physical SIM card. Easy to use app to add more funds if needed.
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
How much does a person need .... etc.

Don’t fool yourself. This world works on money. And just because you can’t take it with you to Paradise it doesn’t mean you don’t need it. You do, and quite a lot of it too. How else do you pay for education, health, a roof, a flight to Spain and back to do the Camino, a mobile phone to chat on this forum, food to feed and clothe your kids. I’ve been without money, a few times, and I can tell you it ain’t no fun. You need it, and you’ll need buckets of it, trust me. Spirituality and nourishment of the soul and life’s poetry and all that stuff comes after that, well after.

Don’t agree with me? Try it. You’ll end up with no friends and no teeth (figure of speech only).
Still don’t believe me? Go ask all those poor souls who sleep in our car parks and shopping malls.
 
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St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
Technical backpack for day trips with backpack cover and internal compartment for the hydration bladder. Ideal daypack for excursions where we need a medium capacity backpack. The back with Air Flow System creates large air channels that will keep our back as cool as possible.

€83,-
I am planniing my next camino, and trying to wean myself off the needs, starting at the base. What if I don't have a place to sleep? what if I run out of food, or money, or lose my essential whatever? I will do what I need to, what others have done to survive when their plans fall apart: say, sleep on a platform outside a train station, or accept help from a new acquaintance, or help myself to the donated items in an albergue box, or: live in faith. Safety is a fiction to which many of us sacrifice our lives. And then they're over. It is sad to discover this too late. Thanks, @alexwalker
 
How much does a person need .... etc.

Don’t fool yourself. This world works on money. And just because you can’t take it with you to Paradise it doesn’t mean you don’t need it. You do, and quite a lot of it too. How else do you pay for education, health, a roof, a flight to Spain and back to do the Camino, a mobile phone to chat on this forum, food to feed and clothe your kids. I’ve been without money, a few times, and I can tell you it ain’t no fun. You need it, and you’ll need buckets of it, trust me. Spirituality and nourishment of the soul and life’s poetry and all that stuff comes after that, well after.

Don’t agree with me? Try it. You’ll end up with no friends and no teeth.
Still don’t believe me? Go ask all those poor souls who sleep in our car parks and shopping malls.

Plenty of unhappy, lonely supposedly wealthy people even with their own teeth, psychologists/psychiatrists generally don't earn their high salaries providing therapy to homeless people.

Money gives you options, how you prioritize those options the key to living.

On the Camino you don't need much really, only the necessities yet many who walk it find it one of the most rewarding part of their lives to the point of changing their priorities. Maybe we are brainwashed by our economic system, can't imagine too many of us wishing we had earned more money or purchased more things if informed our lives are nearing it's conclusion.
 
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It’s because it is jail! 😉 We can’t go anywhere, we can’t meet people we want to meet, we are not free... So of course it feels like jail 😳 And if we don’t abide, we’re threatened with death. Lurking... ☠️
Go to jail
Go directly to Jail
Do not pass Cruz de Ferro
Do not collect cellos
 
I am planniing my next camino, and trying to wean myself off the needs, starting at the base. What if I don't have a place to sleep? what if I run out of food, or money, or lose my essential whatever? I will do what I need to, what others have done to survive when their plans fall apart: say, sleep on a platform outside a train station, or accept help from a new acquaintance, or help myself to the donated items in an albergue box, or: live in faith. Safety is a fiction to which many of us sacrifice our lives. And then they're over. It is sad to discover this too late. Thanks, @alexwalker
Oh yes, I do agree with you 100%
For me, it was ‘growing up’ that brought me to this realisation.
I feel we are the lucky and ‘free’ ones.
I visited my daughter recently and she was surrounded with ‘things’ . Admittedly she culls frequently, but what a waste, to have too much all the time. I think twice now when I buy them (or anyone) gifts -I hopefully choose well sothat it doesn’t go onto their ‘cull’ pile even before it loses its new tag.
We are all responsible for this.
Albertagirl - once we grow up , feeling this ‘freedom’ to walk where you want carrying the basics is priceless. In spain , particularly so.
I am suffering withdrawals.

@alexwalker maybe I’ve misinterpreted your post but agree ‘ walking the camino is definitely the place to acquire a new perspective on life’
Buen Camino
Annie
 
How much does a person need .... etc.

Don’t fool yourself. This world works on money. And just because you can’t take it with you to Paradise it doesn’t mean you don’t need it. You do, and quite a lot of it too. How else do you pay for education, health, a roof, a flight to Spain and back to do the Camino, a mobile phone to chat on this forum, food to feed and clothe your kids. I’ve been without money, a few times, and I can tell you it ain’t no fun. You need it, and you’ll need buckets of it, trust me. Spirituality and nourishment of the soul and life’s poetry and all that stuff comes after that, well after.

Don’t agree with me? Try it. You’ll end up with no friends and no teeth.
Still don’t believe me? Go ask all those poor souls who sleep in our car parks and shopping malls.
You make a damn good point... It is only those with enough that say you don't need it... perhaps if we lived in a society where it was more evenly shared, more of us could enjoy all that a camino can offer. Sadly many don't realise they actually have enough but are under some spell that drives them to make more... it is these folk that potentially benefit the most, if only they could break free... buen camino... wherever that is for you.
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
Plenty of unhappy, lonely supposedly wealthy people even with their own teeth, psychologists/psychiatrists generally don't earn their high salaries providing therapy to homeless people.

Money gives you options, how you prioritize those options the key to living.

On the Camino you don't need much really, only the necessities yet many who walk it find it one of the most rewarding part of their lives to the point of changing their priorities. Maybe we are brainwashed by our economic system, can't imagine too many of us wishing we had earned more money or purchased more things if informed our lives are nearing it's conclusion.
Yeah....by way of background, my former life involved sitting/dining with people over time whose net worth was $5MM (USD) to north of $ 1 Billion. The sample population would be about 20-25 persons in all.

What I noticed is that, of that group, only two were happy and fun to be around.

Back in the late 90's my "airplane seat neighbor", and then CEO of a large hotel chain, told me a story encapsulating his feelings about leaving a legacy of only financial assets. I hear it was popularized later in some 'inspirational' book. I will not recount it, here is a link to the closest version of what I heard:


Another person, found at the blog "Jesse's Cafe Americain" sums it up thusly...

"Need little. Want less. Love more."

True, one needs currency to get by in this world. But, how much and in what manner to deploy it is a matter of choice and priorities.

I have only observations, no answers. In my experience, discussions about "money" carry an emotional charge second only to "politics". My first Camino "marked" me as not the right sort of person to deal with large figures. (So, yes, it was a loss but I have never regretted it.)

Find a way to take care of physical needs with your own special gifts. But, beyond "enough", take care not to give up your soul.

The worries about having "too much" are far worse, near as I can tell, from what many of us experienced as having too little.

Finally, am I the only one who has noticed that it is often those of least means who have been so hospitable to us on our travels?

B
 
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people over time whose net worth was $5MM (USD) to north of $ 1 Billion. The sample population would be about 20-25 persons in all.

What I noticed is that, of that group, only two were happy and fun to be around.
Not surprised.
What set those two apart, @simply B ? Did they have something in common or was their happiness an individual quirk?

Find a way to take care of physical needs with your own special gifts. But, beyond "enough", take care not to give up your soul.
Amen.

The trap, illustrated
Yes...that bottom layer is essential and physical. Buy when we try to fulfill the emotional and psychological needs with money, it's a recipe for endless need, and endless accumulation.

Yes @Lexicos - absolutely. We do need money. We have to live in these arbitrary human systems. But enough isn't that much.
 
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A neighbour often quotes something like "the futility of trying to find a physical solution to a spiritual problem".

A Roman Catholic priest, he says often encountered other priests doing this, saying "if I could get a (larger/more reliable) car my parish work would improve out of sight"

But search as I can I have not been able to find a source for his quote.

Can anyone help me?

Kia kaha (be strong, take care) and get going when you can (from 2022?)
 
Ideal sleeping bag liner whether we want to add a thermal plus to our bag, or if we want to use it alone to sleep in shelters or hostels. Thanks to its mummy shape, it adapts perfectly to our body.

€46,-
I agree with so many of the above sentiments :
  • it is a gift to grow old and I celebrate every birthday and every wrinkle and count my lucky stars for the new day

  • I agree that I have so much 'stuff' that I don't need but I also agree that having money makes life a lot easier and less stressful. If I think back a few decades when the children were babies and the mortgage was enormous, I remember the stress and worry and sleepless nights... I ache for our kids now knowing that they'll probably go through those years too and I just hope they come out on the other side of it. My son chastises me if I'm complaining about something... he always says it's just another of my 'first-world' problems... and he's right.

  • I love the idea that walking makes you younger... and wiser! I think I re-found myself whilst walking. I'd become lost in life and somewhere before Fromistra I found me. I changed my life to fit the 'real' me. I like to think I'm a better person now. Part of that new life was realising we have too much stuff. These days I buy less and give away a lot more. I think the camino does this to a lot of folks!

  • I (probably like the rest of the world) feel like I'm in mourning. I have waves of counting my blessings to being angry to being just very sad. The other day I watched our video of us walking the Primitivo and it made me cry... it was so easy then... before the world changed. I try to find new projects. I've not worked since March and I get bored but I'm trying to keep busy. I am sad because it seems unlikely now that we'll see our family at Christmas. I worry about our youngest son in halls at university in the UK and I worry for our mum... 87 and living along at home but determined to keep living her life. For the first time in a few decades our family won't be together at Christmas.

  • The one blessing I take away from my many camino is the feeling of calm and a sense that I can deal with whatever comes. I am grateful and I am learning to be patient. And to fill my time I sort and tidy and give more stuff away. And I keep reminding myself to be grateful for all we do have... but that's not easy... most of the time I feel like a petulant child, stamping my foot and screaming 'it's not fair'
Stay safe pilgrims... and I hope to see you on the trail in 2021
 
A neighbour often quotes something like "the futility of trying to find a physical solution to a spiritual problem".

A Roman Catholic priest, he says often encountered other priests doing this, saying "if I could get a (larger/more reliable) car my parish work would improve out of sight"

But search as I can I have not been able to find a source for his quote.

Can anyone help me?

Kia kaha (be strong, take care) and get going when you can (from 2022?)

Not sure I've heard about a priest wanting a larger parish vehicle to improve his performance but pretty sure Thoreau wrote about ''his greatest skill being to want but little.''
 
Transport luggage-passengers.
From airports to SJPP
Luggage from SJPP to Roncevalles
Walk the Camino as soon as it's ready for business again, and get a new perspective on life .
Walk the Camino as soon as it's ready for business again, and get a new perspective on life .
Thank you for the thread. It has invited many heartfelt replies. My contribution is a stolen one... here is a link to someone who inspired me many years ago when I worked in a centre that benefitted from his largesse. We did not know who he was at the time, because of his insistence on anonymity. Now I know more about him, the donor inspires me almost to the point of shame. Almost! We have to live with what we have, what we see. I am not expanding, so if I am saying something that upsets you, fill in the blanks. I’m ok with that. https://www.atlanticphilanthropies.org/
 
Technical backpack for day trips with backpack cover and internal compartment for the hydration bladder. Ideal daypack for excursions where we need a medium capacity backpack. The back with Air Flow System creates large air channels that will keep our back as cool as possible.

€83,-
.....

Finally, am I the only one who has noticed that it is often those of least means who have been so hospitable to us on our travels?

B

"If you're in trouble or hurt or need–go to poor people. They're the only ones that'll help–the only ones."
John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath
 
re: "Don't grow up"
YES!!! per Matthew 18:3, ... and {Jesus} said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

We should all become/stay more like children!!! in their many innocent ways, but specifically in humility.

However, there is the age/growing up advantage of maturity/wisdom.... I've "grown-up" more in my faith in the last 5 or 6 years, than I have in my whole life. I'm 60 now.

Ideally, both are achievable!!! (but easier said than done)
blessings, -kevin-
 
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I was in my early 20's when I read Thoreau's Walden. Two themes: Economy, and walking, have led me ever since. I did not need to live the life my parents lived, wonderful as it was for them, and for me to grow up in. I have never owned a house; I have never owned a car, but I have made my own choices in life and followed my own callings, the most recent of which was walking caminos. Thoreau pointed me the way to freedom, and I have followed it ever since. I have a comfortable home and enough money for my modest lifestyle, but what I have had, and still enjoy, is free use of my time and the health to enjoy it. I am able to share so that others may have freer choices for themselves and their children. I am counting my blessings here. Thoreau pointed me the way in my early life, and I have been blessed in following it.
 
"What does a man need – really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in – and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That’s all – in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade.

The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.

Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?”

Wanderer, Sterling Hayden

The quote from a book written back in the 60's possibly more appropriate now than it was back then. None of us get out of this existence called life alive, best to keep living rather than existing.
Be still and know that you are. Sometimes a very long walk helps you to find that sweet spot.
 
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@VNwalking -

"Not surprised.
What set those two apart, @simply B ? Did they have something in common or was their happiness an individual quirk?"


Only guessing but they both grew up "poor" - - one actually grew just to pre-teen in a shack with dirt floors. They were both "cowboys" in their teens in totally different parts of the West.

Aside from that, I could not tell you.

B
 
Technical backpack for day trips with backpack cover and internal compartment for the hydration bladder. Ideal daypack for excursions where we need a medium capacity backpack. The back with Air Flow System creates large air channels that will keep our back as cool as possible.

€83,-
I agree with so many of the above sentiments :
  • it is a gift to grow old and I celebrate every birthday and every wrinkle and count my lucky stars for the new day

  • I agree that I have so much 'stuff' that I don't need but I also agree that having money makes life a lot easier and less stressful. If I think back a few decades when the children were babies and the mortgage was enormous, I remember the stress and worry and sleepless nights... I ache for our kids now knowing that they'll probably go through those years too and I just hope they come out on the other side of it. My son chastises me if I'm complaining about something... he always says it's just another of my 'first-world' problems... and he's right.

  • I love the idea that walking makes you younger... and wiser! I think I re-found myself whilst walking. I'd become lost in life and somewhere before Fromistra I found me. I changed my life to fit the 'real' me. I like to think I'm a better person now. Part of that new life was realising we have too much stuff. These days I buy less and give away a lot more. I think the camino does this to a lot of folks!

  • I (probably like the rest of the world) feel like I'm in mourning. I have waves of counting my blessings to being angry to being just very sad. The other day I watched our video of us walking the Primitivo and it made me cry... it was so easy then... before the world changed. I try to find new projects. I've not worked since March and I get bored but I'm trying to keep busy. I am sad because it seems unlikely now that we'll see our family at Christmas. I worry about our youngest son in halls at university in the UK and I worry for our mum... 87 and living along at home but determined to keep living her life. For the first time in a few decades our family won't be together at Christmas.

  • The one blessing I take away from my many camino is the feeling of calm and a sense that I can deal with whatever comes. I am grateful and I am learning to be patient. And to fill my time I sort and tidy and give more stuff away. And I keep reminding myself to be grateful for all we do have... but that's not easy... most of the time I feel like a petulant child, stamping my foot and screaming 'it's not fair'
Stay safe pilgrims... and I hope to see you on the trail in 2021
Gosh, Lesbrass

I do love your post and agree wholeheartedly with it........apart from loving the wrinkles...definitely not!!

I also agree with Lexicos re the need for possessions like money to live, and I often heard my Dad say
"It's better to be miserable and rich, than miserable and poor"
He had a point

But then again, how much is too much?
Constantly hankering after money is a sickness in itself and for those individuals any amount accumulated will never be enough

It's surely what we do with what we have is the important thing and having a balance

I'm grateful that I may be able to help my children during this time of job losses and redundancies if called upon to do so
Without some money I would not be able to help and it would be silly to think that I would not lie awake at night if they were in trouble and I could not help

Money and material possessions have never been a main focus in our lives as a family and I know we have passed this sentiment on to our daughters

I'm so grateful to be happy and content at this stage of my life as I can get out and about and walk to my hearts content
If I had to stay cooped at home, then it might be a very different matter with sparks flying but so far, so good!
And I do so agree that sometimes those with the least are often the most generous of all.
All the best
 
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St James' Way - Self-guided 4-7 day Walking Packages, Reading to Southampton, 110 kms
Love being old. Love being grown up. Love being mature. I'm old and I'm proud. Why do people associate old age with negative attributes? It is not a trap. It has nothing to do with seeking fame and fortune, or anything material. It is whatever you make of it. Old age bashing is very unbecoming.

Youth is good but it's not better than old age. If given a choice I would not want to be young again most definitely.
 
I, too, am pretty content with my maturity. But I also look back over my life, pleased that I have retained those values that I developed in my youth and that I did not adopt all of my society's values as I grew older. However, I can see that our society seems to value youth over elders, and that is perverse in many ways. I do relate youth to being adventurous and walking light. Perhaps it is time that we acknowledge that we are expressing our mature values in walking the caminos. And those who have picked up too much detritus may feel the lightness of youth in leaving much behind. That is an action which many cultures associate with becoming an elder.
 
My many Caminos have have helped me grow "down" to a level that I am comfortable with, forgetting money, status and other wordly "necessities". Well, just my opinion. Thank you, Santiago and Spain.
Most importantly forgetting about TV......
 
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The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
It would seem arrogant to question Maslow, but ever since I found out about Rene Spitz’s work, I have been completely convinced that the pyramid needs rethinking. If you are unfamiliar with Spitz, here’s a wee article which also talks about some more recent (almost unethical) studies:
 
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It is never arrogant to question a theory no matter how eminent the proposer. Maslows' theory results from his observations and is, of course, coloured by the time in which he lived, personal prejudices etc. It is only part of the story and does not explain figures who go for, say, self actualisation despite what others would see as the personal costs.
 
Perhaps a different stating of the sentiment expressed in the OP?

“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

(George Bernard Shaw)


B
My father has always hated that I say:

"You never grow up, you just play with older kids and the stakes are much larger".

My father got old at around 45.
I'm now 62 and still playing and he still hates my saying. When I came home after playing for 6 weeks in Spain at age 60, he asked if I had grown up yet. I replied that I had simply figured out I was right all along!
 
44 already.
I remember when I was in my 20s.
Tis a scary thought...time!
I prefer to pre-occupy my mind with less important things :)
 
A selection of Camino Jewellery
My father: ......
When I came home after playing for 6 weeks in Spain at age 60, he asked if I had grown up yet. I replied that I had simply figured out I was right all along!
My father:
Did me the great fortune of being born in London, England in 1919. As a result I have dual NZ/UK citizenship and I get to play in Europe when I like.

His father was wounded and lost the use of his right arm in the Great War. He married one of his nurses and the three of them returned to Fiji when Dad was 4 months old.

During the three month journey to Fiji 7 of the 8 infants aboard the ship died.

My dad grew up on a remote farm in Fiji where there were no roads and the first school arrived when he was 12.

At age 14 his Dad died and as the eldest child he and his oldest brother (12) left school and worked the farm so that his family could survive.

He hated farming. When he turned 18 and confident that his other brothers could and wanted to run the farm to support his mother and sisters he took an Engineering apprenticeship, his true calling, and went to sea.

When WW2 started he tried to enlist but as an Engineer in the merchant navy he was considered to be in an essential service and was not allowed to enlist.

In December, 1941 his supply ship was in Tarawa when the Japanese arrived. The crew and other locals were taken prisoner. My Dad was amongst 22 who eventually managed to escape in two open boats. Those who didn't escape along with some other prisoners were executed on Tarawa by the Japanese.

After recuperating in Fiji he was discharged from all further war effort. Determined to keep contributing he hitched a ride to Sydney on a ship and tried again to enlist. After again being denied he joined the US Coast Guard and he served saving lives in the Pacific as US troops pursued the Japanese back towards Japan. I have a photo of him, looking very handsome in his Coast Guard uniform, celebrating in Manila on VJ Day.

After the war he returned to Fiji and married my Mum who he had known from childhood when she lived on a neighbouring farm.

In 1959 he brought our family to NZ so that my brothers and I could have a better education.

Through out his life he worked very hard so that I could have the opportunity to play.

Unfortunately he is no longer with us and I remember him as a man who was honoured to take responsibility.

He and his generation went through some tough times so that my generation could have it easier. ❣️

Doug, aged 67
 
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I am planniing my next camino, and trying to wean myself off the needs, starting at the base. What if I don't have a place to sleep? what if I run out of food, or money, or lose my essential whatever? I will do what I need to, what others have done to survive when their plans fall apart: say, sleep on a platform outside a train station, or accept help from a new acquaintance, or help myself to the donated items in an albergue box, or: live in faith. Safety is a fiction to which many of us sacrifice our lives. And then they're over. It is sad to discover this too late. Thanks, @alexwalker
Stay safe, and enjoy!
 

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