Facing my fears.

[fallow]

I head off to Spain on Monday and start my Camino from Roncesvalles on the 8th September. I find myself, a normally relaxed and positive person, racked with doubts about everything. Can I do this, will I fail, will I injure myself, can I manage with my pack, will the way be too steep up or down, will I find a bed, can I cope with changes in diet, routine, comfort level. At 60 years of age my life is very comfortable and I will be so out of my comfort zone. Despite all this I know I have to do it though I do not know why. Who knows?

 

[KiwiNomad06]

I think pretty much everyone is scared about what they are embarking on before they start. Once you start walking on the trail out from Roncesvalles, you will soon be in a rhythm of walking. Somehow that action of putting one foot in front of another is a cure-all for fears. And by the end of day one you will be too tired to hold onto fears!
All the best, Buen Camino.
Margaret

 

[vicrev]

Hi Fallow......You will probably have all those doubts & fears,but the exhilaration,satisfaction that you have worked through them and overcome them,there is no feeling like it..... I DID IT MY WAY! The people walking with you will no doubt have the same reservations !!.So you wont be alone!! After a couple of days walking the worries & doubts will drop off you like confetti ...................Go with Peace & Happiness.........Vicrev

 

[julie]

Most of us have faced those same fears but after a couple of days it feels perfectly normal to be walking across a foreign country, sleeping in albergues and learning more about yourself than you had thought possible. Being out of the comfort zone is such an amazing place. However, be warned, it's addictive.

You will cope with whatever the Camino throws at you - you can send some stuff home/ahead if your pack is too heavy; taking it one step at a time gets you there no matter how steep the way; hopefully injury will not be an issue but you'll deal with it if necessary. Don't try to force the pace or the distance. Listen to your body and rest when you need to. As far as "failure" is concerned, it doesn't exist. Some people are disappointed that they need to go home earlier than they expected to they have still, however, learnt much along the way and that makes them anything but a "failure". Sometimes it's our expectations that are the issue rather than the experience itself.

 

[wayfarer]

I think everyone feels the same fallow, I know I did but as soon as you start walking it goes away. Enjoy the scenery and company and don't dwell on what might go wrong, walk at your own pace, stop often for coffee and don't get caught up in the race others seem to be in. Have a great camino.

 

[Stephen Nicholls]

I head off to Spain on Monday and start my Camino from Roncesvalles on the 8th September. I find myself, a normally relaxed and positive person, racked with doubts about everything. Can I do this, will I fail, will I injure myself, can I manage with my pack, will the way be too steep up or down, will I find a bed, can I cope with changes in diet, routine, comfort level. At 60 years of age my life is very comfortable and I will be so out of my comfort zone. Despite all this I know I have to do it though I do not know why. Who knows?

Hi Fallow!
Not only will you do it, but you'll love [almost] every moment of it! I wish I were there with you! And, as you're walking the French camino, there will be plenty of other pilgrims who will become your 'camino family' and help you if help is needed. Just as you will help anyone you meet who needs some assistance.
At 60 years of age, you're a youngster. Go on - enjoy yourself!!

 

[fallow]

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I am feeling better today and looking forward to the challenges ahead. I have been doing 20+km hikes with my fully loaded backpack and today was a good one. It is all in the mind, is it not? I recall my first marathon and the learning that came out of that - if I can do this, I can do anything I choose to do. I have chosen to do the Camino and I will succeed. After all, nothing can compare to giving birth where there is no finish line!!!

 

[nreyn12]

Such courage! You will find yourself on the trail, for sure. Warmest wishes for a beautiful journey.

 

[t2andreo]

I started my first Camino on the Camino Frances at the end of my 59th year on 24 April 2013. I celebrated by 60th birthday on 5 June, in the cathedral at Santiago - at a Pilgrim's Mass. This adventure was my gift to myself to celebrate the first half of my life - okay so I am an optimist. I walked alone but met dozens of fabulous, fascinating people from all over the world. I am only sorry that I failed to obtain e-mail addresses from most of them. I will continue to regret that. Oh well, there is always next year...

The first few days into the pilgrimage, Starting from SJPdP, I was asking myself "just what the %^&* have you gotten yourself into?" That indoctrination period was followed by 10-days of rain, snow showers, and mud - lots of mud. It was during that time that a passage from Psalm 118 came to me. I think it is from Psalms 118.24. It goes like this: " This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad..."

Now, I am not an overly religious person, observant, but not over the top. However, I found myself repeating it as I walked, sort of like a mantra in yoga or meditation / relaxation therapy. But it lacked the balance to be a rhythmic chant. So, I simply added a syllable to the end. Call it "Oy," a fitting Yiddish explanation of fatigue or frustration. So, it actually works if you chant it to yourself as "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad...Oy!" Put it to a stead left - right - left -right walking pace and it DOES WORK. Go figure!

I know this sounds religious but it was really a practical thing. From my military experiences many years ago I recalled marching or running in formation during training to the chant of a (usually vulgar) "jodie." These are rhythmic chants with an eight-count cycle. SO, if you are walking in the rain and mud, repeating this to yourself as you endure and persevere is both therapeutic and it helps count off your steps. More importantly, it focused me on the journey instead of the discomfort of the moment. Try it...or something similar. It helped me get through the worst days.

Also, here are a few thoughts to bear in mind as you begin. Most people learn them after a few days, but if you know what to expect, your Camino will be better.
1. Everyone does their own Camino, in their own way, at their own pace. There is no one size fits all model - for anything relating to the Camino.
2. Do not criticize or judge others, as you do not know their entire back story. This is particularly true when you see "slack packers." the folks who have their heavy packs or even luggage moved ahead by courier service and are carrying only a day pack. These folks are not elitist or lazy. There is usually a perfectly valid reason for what they are doing, one that is of no consequence to you and YOUR Camino.
3. Proceed at your own pace, doing only what you feel comfortable doing on a particular day. The Camino is not a race or endurance contest. Santiago de Compostela will be there when you arrive, it is not going anywhere. Do not fear for that.
4. Respect everyone. Treat everyone as an equal. Help everyone - sometimes whether they want the help or not. The rewards will be evident.

Buen Camino

Tom (from Virginia)

 

[indyinmaine]

When you get there on the 9th and realize you wrote this on the Forum "I head off to Spain on Monday and start my Camino from Roncesvalles on the 8th September." you will laugh at yourself and relax!

Indyinmaine

 

[jstys1]

I have more than a few Caminos under my belt at this point. I get the same nervous feeling every time. It generally take me 2-3 days to get into the groove. Your feelings are very normal...remember them, they will be a great contrast when you walk into Santiago. It will give you one more thing to be thankful for!