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The big map o the Caminos de Santiago

Hi, Everyone. An Update, and My Gratitude For You All

davebugg

"When I Have Your Wounded" - Dustoff Motto
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances...
Sept. 2017: SJPdP to Burgos
Sept./Oct. 2018: SJPdP to Santiago de Compostela
#1
Hi, everyone. I felt that I owe you all apologies for leaving things as they were, and to let you know what’s been happening. Again, let me express that nothing that has been going on is related to this Forum, other than as to how capable I feel of positively contributing to the Forum.

Caleb and I left Santiago de Compostela on the early morning train on October 21 and spent a terrific day exploring Madrid. That was our last day and night in Spain. Our flight to Seattle via a layover in Frankfurt went smoothly, especially since we had shipped our trekking poles and souvenirs home via Correos.

I arrived back home to my wonderful family on October 22. I am still trying to make sense of things and am baffled as to why I am having this difficulty in simply putting things into a proper perspective. I am mostly convinced that the Burgos incident was just one straw among others, and not the direct cause of my current situation. I am going to be talking to a counselor and will also be having my provider do a complete medical workup to see if there is a medical explanation.

During the last couple of days of the Walk to Santiago, so many feelings had occurred ranging the gamut of emotions: Joy, anger, despair, happiness, sadness, hopefulness, regret, contentment… it’s as if my mind, heart, and soul were having a go at playing tug-of-war. One example was when it came my turn for the Compostela in the Pilgrim’s Office in Santiago de Compostela. When I walked up to the counter window, I was greeted by the smiling face of a young woman in her early 20s. I requested that my pilgrimage be done in the name of my oldest son, Joshua David, who went to be with God shortly after his birth. I had discussed doing this with his mother, Denise, the previous day to make sure it was ok.

The young volunteer seemed a bit puzzled, but a more experienced volunteer knew what my request was about and briefly talked with the young woman, pointing to a space on the yet-to-be filled out Compostela.

As I watched the Pilgrim Office volunteer add Joshua’s name to that certificate of completion, I suddenly couldn’t hold back the tears. The long miles, the aches and pains, the mental trauma, the hundreds of times I prayed and talked with Jesus, the fatigue, and the meaning that I gave behind the purpose of my walk/pilgrimage seemed to suddenly become narrowly focused into a pinpoint with my dear son’s name.

The poor, sweet volunteer who spoke in halting, but understandable English asked, with a look of concern on her face, if I was alright. All I could do was smile through the tears and tell her, “Yes”, I was better than when I took my first step 30 days before”.

I never thought I would have been affected in so profound a manner. I will be thinking on all these things for a while. I mailed the Compostela to Joshua’s mother. I did purchase a certificate of distance for myself to keep.

Caleb and I enjoyed a wonderful time of bonding during my last 14 days on Camino when he joined me on the Walk at Leon. I am so thankful for his presence and constant encouragement. I honestly wonder if I would have had the commitment to continue on after reaching Leon if Caleb wasn’t with me.

Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts, they have meant a great deal.
I have been looking at the Forum off and on since I’ve been home. It is helping me to gauge where I am at; I still feel incapable of meaningful contribution. Heck, I am having difficulty trying to meaningfully contribute and connect with my own family.

I realize that there have been many private messages and posts that have been made to me. I have glanced at them, but I feel a bit unprepared to read them as they deserve to be read. I can only say that it has been overwhelming – in a great way. I really am astounded by you’re the positive way you have viewed my participation on the Forum; I really don’t feel I am deserving of such. My participation has been without expectation of anything other than to try and follow the example of positive contributions which all the veteran members have made in order to make the Forum the wonderful place that it is.

I look forward to the time that I feel I can join you all in conversation and helpfulness and education to those new members looking to the Forum for guidance. Maybe after the upcoming holidays and with time for the medics to do their thing. I do hope it is sooner than later as you are all a bright, positive, and wonderful community of friends.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances April (2018)
Camino Del Norte April (2019) possible Primitivo
#3
Hi, everyone. I felt that I owe you all apologies for leaving things as they were, and to let you know what’s been happening. Again, let me express that nothing that has been going on is related to this Forum, other than as to how capable I feel of positively contributing to the Forum.

Caleb and I left Santiago de Compostela on the early morning train on October 21 and spent a terrific day exploring Madrid. That was our last day and night in Spain. Our flight to Seattle via a layover in Frankfurt went smoothly, especially since we had shipped our trekking poles and souvenirs home via Correos.

I arrived back home to my wonderful family on October 22. I am still trying to make sense of things and am baffled as to why I am having this difficulty in simply putting things into a proper perspective. I am mostly convinced that the Burgos incident was just one straw among others, and not the direct cause of my current situation. I am going to be talking to a counselor and will also be having my provider do a complete medical workup to see if there is a medical explanation.

During the last couple of days of the Walk to Santiago, so many feelings had occurred ranging the gamut of emotions: Joy, anger, despair, happiness, sadness, hopefulness, regret, contentment… it’s as if my mind, heart, and soul were having a go at playing tug-of-war. One example was when it came my turn for the Compostela in the Pilgrim’s Office in Santiago de Compostela. When I walked up to the counter window, I was greeted by the smiling face of a young woman in her early 20s. I requested that my pilgrimage be done in the name of my oldest son, Joshua David, who went to be with God shortly after his birth. I had discussed doing this with his mother, Denise, the previous day to make sure it was ok.

The young volunteer seemed a bit puzzled, but a more experienced volunteer knew what my request was about and briefly talked with the young woman, pointing to a space on the yet-to-be filled out Compostela.

As I watched the Pilgrim Office volunteer add Joshua’s name to that certificate of completion, I suddenly couldn’t hold back the tears. The long miles, the aches and pains, the mental trauma, the hundreds of times I prayed and talked with Jesus, the fatigue, and the meaning that I gave behind the purpose of my walk/pilgrimage seemed to suddenly become narrowly focused into a pinpoint with my dear son’s name.

The poor, sweet volunteer who spoke in halting, but understandable English asked, with a look of concern on her face, if I was alright. All I could do was smile through the tears and tell her, “Yes”, I was better than when I took my first step 30 days before”.

I never thought I would have been affected in so profound a manner. I will be thinking on all these things for a while. I mailed the Compostela to Joshua’s mother. I did purchase a certificate of distance for myself to keep.

Caleb and I enjoyed a wonderful time of bonding during my last 14 days on Camino when he joined me on the Walk at Leon. I am so thankful for his presence and constant encouragement. I honestly wonder if I would have had the commitment to continue on after reaching Leon if Caleb wasn’t with me.

Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts, they have meant a great deal.
I have been looking at the Forum off and on since I’ve been home. It is helping me to gauge where I am at; I still feel incapable of meaningful contribution. Heck, I am having difficulty trying to meaningfully contribute and connect with my own family.

I realize that there have been many private messages and posts that have been made to me. I have glanced at them, but I feel a bit unprepared to read them as they deserve to be read. I can only say that it has been overwhelming – in a great way. I really am astounded by you’re the positive way you have viewed my participation on the Forum; I really don’t feel I am deserving of such. My participation has been without expectation of anything other than to try and follow the example of positive contributions which all the veteran members have made in order to make the Forum the wonderful place that it is.

I look forward to the time that I feel I can join you all in conversation and helpfulness and education to those new members looking to the Forum for guidance. Maybe after the upcoming holidays and with time for the medics to do their thing. I do hope it is sooner than later as you are all a bright, positive, and wonderful community of friends.
@davebugg it is so nice to hear from you and know that you are doing well. Welcome home and happy post Veterans Day from a fellow veteran and medic. You are blessed never forget that. Take your time. Process what you need to process the forum will wait for you. Everything happens for a reason and in time all will become clear. Take care and enjoy the upcoming holiday in the loving arms of your family and friends. You are loved and appreciated here too...
 
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
St Olav/Francés ('16)
Baztanés/Francés ('17)
Ingles ('18)
#9
This has made my Day, Dave.
It's SO good to know how you are. Thank you!
Come here when you can and say whatever you can...and we will be glad for that. In the meantime you are doing the best inner work possible. I am sending you a VERY short PM now...an (I hope useful ) FYI that I don't want to clutter the tread with.
 

Rick M

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
April ('16,'18, '19)
#10
Welcome home Dave. Congratulations on finishing your Camino. The promise WAS kept, despite all the trials. And yeah, some guys have a bigger reaction than others. Something about a lifetime of suppressing your emotions and denying your own vulnerabilities. Challenge a few preconceptions and tear down a few defenses and before you know it, you've been changed. Clarity comes later.

My participation has been without expectation of anything other than to try and follow the example of positive contributions which all the veteran members have made in order to make the Forum the wonderful place that it is.
Sounds like the spirit of the Camino to me. Nothing broken here. You'll work it out. You'll be back.
 

KinkyOne

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
I'am not perfect, but I'm always myself!!!
#12
Ah, Dave, man you really make my night/morning/day (it's 4am over here) :D

I didn't want to burden you with my mails but now I will take an opportunity to congratulate you and Caleb for doing it. And especially for you to overcome what you have felt weeks ago. I'm so happy that we have you back, really!!!

Go and fix your things and then we can talk a bit more :D



PS (I returned from NOR-CAL on 9th WITH the trainers. Thank you once again, they fit perfectly!!!)
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2015); Camino Norte/Primitivo (2016); Camino Frances (2017); Le Puy (June 2018)
#15
Thanks, Dave, for 'coming back' for the moment to fill us in with an update. That's a positive thing for now, and helps us lay to rest our thoughts, wondering and concern about how you are doing. Hopefully we will hear more from you in due time when you are ready and able....we've missed you!
 

Kiwi-family

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Past: (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018)-Frances, Baztan, San Salvador, Primitivo, Fisterra,VdlP, Madrid
#16
Thanks so much for sharing @davebugg. Sometimes the givers find it hard to receive and you are certainly a giver. Remember, grace is never deserved - accept the grace being offered here. You don’t need to deserve it.
So glad your journey progressed positively. Keep walking!
 
Camino(s) past & future
Primitivo,2017,Argonne and salvador,sept.2019
#18
Hi, everyone. I felt that I owe you all apologies for leaving things as they were, and to let you know what’s been happening. Again, let me express that nothing that has been going on is related to this Forum, other than as to how capable I feel of positively contributing to the Forum.

Caleb and I left Santiago de Compostela on the early morning train on October 21 and spent a terrific day exploring Madrid. That was our last day and night in Spain. Our flight to Seattle via a layover in Frankfurt went smoothly, especially since we had shipped our trekking poles and souvenirs home via Correos.

I arrived back home to my wonderful family on October 22. I am still trying to make sense of things and am baffled as to why I am having this difficulty in simply putting things into a proper perspective. I am mostly convinced that the Burgos incident was just one straw among others, and not the direct cause of my current situation. I am going to be talking to a counselor and will also be having my provider do a complete medical workup to see if there is a medical explanation.

During the last couple of days of the Walk to Santiago, so many feelings had occurred ranging the gamut of emotions: Joy, anger, despair, happiness, sadness, hopefulness, regret, contentment… it’s as if my mind, heart, and soul were having a go at playing tug-of-war. One example was when it came my turn for the Compostela in the Pilgrim’s Office in Santiago de Compostela. When I walked up to the counter window, I was greeted by the smiling face of a young woman in her early 20s. I requested that my pilgrimage be done in the name of my oldest son, Joshua David, who went to be with God shortly after his birth. I had discussed doing this with his mother, Denise, the previous day to make sure it was ok.

The young volunteer seemed a bit puzzled, but a more experienced volunteer knew what my request was about and briefly talked with the young woman, pointing to a space on the yet-to-be filled out Compostela.

As I watched the Pilgrim Office volunteer add Joshua’s name to that certificate of completion, I suddenly couldn’t hold back the tears. The long miles, the aches and pains, the mental trauma, the hundreds of times I prayed and talked with Jesus, the fatigue, and the meaning that I gave behind the purpose of my walk/pilgrimage seemed to suddenly become narrowly focused into a pinpoint with my dear son’s name.

The poor, sweet volunteer who spoke in halting, but understandable English asked, with a look of concern on her face, if I was alright. All I could do was smile through the tears and tell her, “Yes”, I was better than when I took my first step 30 days before”.

I never thought I would have been affected in so profound a manner. I will be thinking on all these things for a while. I mailed the Compostela to Joshua’s mother. I did purchase a certificate of distance for myself to keep.

Caleb and I enjoyed a wonderful time of bonding during my last 14 days on Camino when he joined me on the Walk at Leon. I am so thankful for his presence and constant encouragement. I honestly wonder if I would have had the commitment to continue on after reaching Leon if Caleb wasn’t with me.

Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts, they have meant a great deal.
I have been looking at the Forum off and on since I’ve been home. It is helping me to gauge where I am at; I still feel incapable of meaningful contribution. Heck, I am having difficulty trying to meaningfully contribute and connect with my own family.

I realize that there have been many private messages and posts that have been made to me. I have glanced at them, but I feel a bit unprepared to read them as they deserve to be read. I can only say that it has been overwhelming – in a great way. I really am astounded by you’re the positive way you have viewed my participation on the Forum; I really don’t feel I am deserving of such. My participation has been without expectation of anything other than to try and follow the example of positive contributions which all the veteran members have made in order to make the Forum the wonderful place that it is.

I look forward to the time that I feel I can join you all in conversation and helpfulness and education to those new members looking to the Forum for guidance. Maybe after the upcoming holidays and with time for the medics to do their thing. I do hope it is sooner than later as you are all a bright, positive, and wonderful community of friends.
Dave, glad that you are home,and live so close by. I live in Sprague,and the next time you go to Spokane,stop by and see me. You are always welcome! Ask anyone where the beekeeper lives
 

TaraWalks

Peregrina without a skateboard
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances 2016 & 2018, planning for Le Puy 2019/2020ish and for some shorter Caminos stacked
#21
Glad to see you're back and Thankyou for sharing. For what it's worth, I burst into tears at the end of my Camino in 2016 during confession at the pilgrim's mass. It was cathartic. I hope it was for you too.
T
 

Finisterre

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Sarria 2001,
Porto 2006,
Valenca 2008,
Finisterre 2010,
SJdPP 2012,
Tui 2014.

No plans to return, yet.
#22
It's a window on the world this forum.:)

All the best to you Dave.
 
Camino(s) past & future
There are many different Pilgrim Routes and Caminos in life.
#23
Dave, I am so glad to see you!
We missed you a lot, and we have been worring and thinking about you.
It is good to hear about your walk with Caleb, and that you reached Santiago. I am so happy for you! :) Thank you so much for being you. It is brave to open up about something this deep and personal, but I hope you feel that you are amongst friends. You will sort things out, take your time.
 
Camino(s) past & future
September (2018)
#25
Dave, I am moved by your generous and intimate sharing. You and I arrived In SJPD on the same day and we were on the same pace up to Burgos. I don’t believe I ever met you, but as someone who was part of the Camino community that caused you harm, my heart is breaking. I am so sorry that you had this difficult experience and I so wish that I could have been there for you that evening. Your introspective approach to examining your experience shows the tremendous depth of your character and beautiful soul. Please know there are many holding you in light and love.
 
Camino(s) past & future
C/F: 2013, 2014
C/M: 2016
C/P: 2015, 2017
C/I: 2018
Voluntario: 2014 to 2018
#28
When you choose to return and do it again, for effect...you will... and if you want a 'battle buddy' to tag along, just ask...

I am not talking joined at the hip here, just someone who has been there and done that... There are many of us here...;)

Personally, I would be proud to walk in your company or nearby.

Best Regards and fervent hopes for feeling better.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Fall 2016 Camino Frances to Leon
Fall 2017 Camino Frances to Finisterre
#30
Thank you for my first smile of the day! It is lovely opening up the forum and seeing you post again (though, no pressure from anyone here - it is amazing how many people you have positively touched. We appreciate you). I am so thankful and so happy that you and your son had a wonderful time together. Thank you for all your help in your previous posts and I pray for continued healing. Life is good.
 

Jeff Crawley

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Contemplating yet another "final" camino
Porto to SdC May 2019
#31
Woot! Woot!

Well what can I say except so pleased you're back in one piece and, considering you're my Footwear Guru, some advice: baby steps, Dave, baby steps ;)
 

ksam

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Portuguese '08, Frances '11, del Norte '14, Invierno '16, Ingles '17, Primitivo October 2018
#34
@davebugg YEAH!! Thanks SO much for responding when you could. So now we just pray as you make that transition to home again. I find it's never really easy. Sometimes it's downright difficult.

But, in response to your comment: "I really am astounded by you’re the positive way you have viewed my participation on the Forum; I really don’t feel I am deserving of such. My participation has been without expectation of anything other than to try and follow the example of positive contributions which all the veteran members have made in order to make the Forum the wonderful place that it is." This reminds me of St. James himself. Probably one of the reasons I love him. He went to the ends of the earth. He wasn't there all that long. Apparently not the greatest speaker. Didn't leave gospels like Paul and Luke etc. Died a martyr early on in Church history. And yet, how many people have walked and learned as a result of walking to find St. James tomb. How many millions? For me he's a saint for everyman. Ordinary people just doing their ordinary lives to the best of their ability. Never really knowing what the results might be. Same with your posts. From the heart. Caring. Thanks for being there and hope to see you here agin when your ready!

Welcome home,
Karin
 

Jill81

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2014
Portuguese 2015
Via Francigena 2016
Kumano Kodo, Japan 2017
VdlP 2018 to be cont’d
#35
Like the many others here, I have been hoping in the past weeks that you would be able to resolve the difficulties you were facing and would return to the forum someday. It is wonderful to see you back!
Wishing you much strength,
Jill
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Francis SJdPP to Astorga (Apr 2018)
Astorga to Santiago (Sept 2018);Camino Ingles (2018)
#36
I was just thinking about you. So nice to hear from you and that you are working through your thoughts with a professional who can guide you through your issues. You are so much appreciated. From a fellow veteran, much love to you and yours.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Porto to Santiago Coastal Route (Future)
#37
Good to hear from you Dave. Congratulations to yourself and Caleb on completing your caminos. Take your time and give yourself the kind of care that you have so generously given to others. Go well on your journey.

PS The rock plates are working wonderfully well. I have got them in 3 pairs of NB running shoes and am set for all walking distances. Thanks for your help
 

annakappa

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Part frances jun 07/rest frances may- jun 2008/Frances sept-oct 2009/ Sanabres Oct 2010/Frances sept-oct 2011/Aragones Sept-Oct 2012. Hospitalero Sept 2010, Amiga in Pilgrim's Office Oct 2013. Part Primitivo Oct 2013. Portugues from Porto June 2015.
#38
Very good news Dave, to see you back and thank you for being so open and also considerate, by letting everyone who was worried about you, that you are slowly on the mend.
 
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JennyH94

Pilgrim in progress
Camino(s) past & future
The Frances from Pamplona and part VF, first-aid helper and hospitalera
#40
Hi Dave -

Thanks so much for giving us the update. I echo everyone's thoughts. You are a wonderful Forum member and the time you take with your posts and the expertise with which you advise on practical matters is much appreciated.

It was so great to read that you and Caleb made it to Santiago and thank you for sharing your very personal experience of receiving your Compostela - what a profound experience and what a beautiful one.

You have a terrific plan to get back to 100% in every way - best wishes for good results with the medical part and for your discussions with your counsellor.

Cheers from Oz -
Jenny
 
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Geoff Shepherd

I’m the big fella on the left.
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances Sep-Oct 2018
#41
Dave, I am moved by your generous and intimate sharing. You and I arrived In SJPD on the same day and we were on the same pace up to Burgos. I don’t believe I ever met you, but as someone who was part of the Camino community that caused you harm, my heart is breaking. I am so sorry that you had this difficult experience and I so wish that I could have been there for you that evening. Your introspective approach to examining your experience shows the tremendous depth of your character and beautiful soul. Please know there are many holding you in light and love.
Linda - are these your Camino toes?
Dave, I am moved by your generous and intimate sharing. You and I arrived In SJPD on the same day and we were on the same pace up to Burgos. I don’t believe I ever met you, but as someone who was part of the Camino community that caused you harm, my heart is breaking. I am so sorry that you had this difficult experience and I so wish that I could have been there for you that evening. Your introspective approach to examining your experience shows the tremendous depth of your character and beautiful soul. Please know there are many holding you in light and love.
Libda - are these your Camino toes? If they are then we had a short, but pleasant chat at Boadilla early Oct. Glad you made it. Cooee
 

Attachments

Geoff Shepherd

I’m the big fella on the left.
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances Sep-Oct 2018
#42
Hi, everyone. I felt that I owe you all apologies for leaving things as they were, and to let you know what’s been happening. Again, let me express that nothing that has been going on is related to this Forum, other than as to how capable I feel of positively contributing to the Forum.

Caleb and I left Santiago de Compostela on the early morning train on October 21 and spent a terrific day exploring Madrid. That was our last day and night in Spain. Our flight to Seattle via a layover in Frankfurt went smoothly, especially since we had shipped our trekking poles and souvenirs home via Correos.

I arrived back home to my wonderful family on October 22. I am still trying to make sense of things and am baffled as to why I am having this difficulty in simply putting things into a proper perspective. I am mostly convinced that the Burgos incident was just one straw among others, and not the direct cause of my current situation. I am going to be talking to a counselor and will also be having my provider do a complete medical workup to see if there is a medical explanation.

During the last couple of days of the Walk to Santiago, so many feelings had occurred ranging the gamut of emotions: Joy, anger, despair, happiness, sadness, hopefulness, regret, contentment… it’s as if my mind, heart, and soul were having a go at playing tug-of-war. One example was when it came my turn for the Compostela in the Pilgrim’s Office in Santiago de Compostela. When I walked up to the counter window, I was greeted by the smiling face of a young woman in her early 20s. I requested that my pilgrimage be done in the name of my oldest son, Joshua David, who went to be with God shortly after his birth. I had discussed doing this with his mother, Denise, the previous day to make sure it was ok.

The young volunteer seemed a bit puzzled, but a more experienced volunteer knew what my request was about and briefly talked with the young woman, pointing to a space on the yet-to-be filled out Compostela.

As I watched the Pilgrim Office volunteer add Joshua’s name to that certificate of completion, I suddenly couldn’t hold back the tears. The long miles, the aches and pains, the mental trauma, the hundreds of times I prayed and talked with Jesus, the fatigue, and the meaning that I gave behind the purpose of my walk/pilgrimage seemed to suddenly become narrowly focused into a pinpoint with my dear son’s name.

The poor, sweet volunteer who spoke in halting, but understandable English asked, with a look of concern on her face, if I was alright. All I could do was smile through the tears and tell her, “Yes”, I was better than when I took my first step 30 days before”.

I never thought I would have been affected in so profound a manner. I will be thinking on all these things for a while. I mailed the Compostela to Joshua’s mother. I did purchase a certificate of distance for myself to keep.

Caleb and I enjoyed a wonderful time of bonding during my last 14 days on Camino when he joined me on the Walk at Leon. I am so thankful for his presence and constant encouragement. I honestly wonder if I would have had the commitment to continue on after reaching Leon if Caleb wasn’t with me.

Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts, they have meant a great deal.
I have been looking at the Forum off and on since I’ve been home. It is helping me to gauge where I am at; I still feel incapable of meaningful contribution. Heck, I am having difficulty trying to meaningfully contribute and connect with my own family.

I realize that there have been many private messages and posts that have been made to me. I have glanced at them, but I feel a bit unprepared to read them as they deserve to be read. I can only say that it has been overwhelming – in a great way. I really am astounded by you’re the positive way you have viewed my participation on the Forum; I really don’t feel I am deserving of such. My participation has been without expectation of anything other than to try and follow the example of positive contributions which all the veteran members have made in order to make the Forum the wonderful place that it is.

I look forward to the time that I feel I can join you all in conversation and helpfulness and education to those new members looking to the Forum for guidance. Maybe after the upcoming holidays and with time for the medics to do their thing. I do hope it is sooner than later as you are all a bright, positive, and wonderful community of friends.
Dave - I finished in SdC 18 Oct, so we must have crossed paths somewhere along the way. I would have loved to meet you and say Hi and thanks for all the wonderful and very informative posts you have put up on this forum. I was a first-timer on the CF and your well considered info was essential for my preparation - and my successful completion. Glad you are on the up. Hang in there Mate. Cooee
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino France's (2018)
#43
Dear Dave,

So nice you have returned. Congratulations in walking the Camino for your son. I'm sure this was a sacred task you completed that can't be put into words but your tears said it all.

I hadn't been on the forum since I got back from my 1st Camino... I was surprised and sad when I read your goodbye. Yours was one opinion I always valued.

I am a trauma therapist worked yrs at the VA among other places. If you ever need a stranger to vent to.... Or an expert to hook you up... Well you know the drill.... Open invitation now or later!

Thank you sir for your service to 🇺🇸. May you take in the love of your family and friends as you settle in back home,

Pax et Bonum,

Micah
 
Camino(s) past & future
😱
#49
Hi, everyone. I felt that I owe you all apologies for leaving things as they were, and to let you know what’s been happening. Again, let me express that nothing that has been going on is related to this Forum, other than as to how capable I feel of positively contributing to the Forum.

Caleb and I left Santiago de Compostela on the early morning train on October 21 and spent a terrific day exploring Madrid. That was our last day and night in Spain. Our flight to Seattle via a layover in Frankfurt went smoothly, especially since we had shipped our trekking poles and souvenirs home via Correos.

I arrived back home to my wonderful family on October 22. I am still trying to make sense of things and am baffled as to why I am having this difficulty in simply putting things into a proper perspective. I am mostly convinced that the Burgos incident was just one straw among others, and not the direct cause of my current situation. I am going to be talking to a counselor and will also be having my provider do a complete medical workup to see if there is a medical explanation.

During the last couple of days of the Walk to Santiago, so many feelings had occurred ranging the gamut of emotions: Joy, anger, despair, happiness, sadness, hopefulness, regret, contentment… it’s as if my mind, heart, and soul were having a go at playing tug-of-war. One example was when it came my turn for the Compostela in the Pilgrim’s Office in Santiago de Compostela. When I walked up to the counter window, I was greeted by the smiling face of a young woman in her early 20s. I requested that my pilgrimage be done in the name of my oldest son, Joshua David, who went to be with God shortly after his birth. I had discussed doing this with his mother, Denise, the previous day to make sure it was ok.

The young volunteer seemed a bit puzzled, but a more experienced volunteer knew what my request was about and briefly talked with the young woman, pointing to a space on the yet-to-be filled out Compostela.

As I watched the Pilgrim Office volunteer add Joshua’s name to that certificate of completion, I suddenly couldn’t hold back the tears. The long miles, the aches and pains, the mental trauma, the hundreds of times I prayed and talked with Jesus, the fatigue, and the meaning that I gave behind the purpose of my walk/pilgrimage seemed to suddenly become narrowly focused into a pinpoint with my dear son’s name.

The poor, sweet volunteer who spoke in halting, but understandable English asked, with a look of concern on her face, if I was alright. All I could do was smile through the tears and tell her, “Yes”, I was better than when I took my first step 30 days before”.

I never thought I would have been affected in so profound a manner. I will be thinking on all these things for a while. I mailed the Compostela to Joshua’s mother. I did purchase a certificate of distance for myself to keep.

Caleb and I enjoyed a wonderful time of bonding during my last 14 days on Camino when he joined me on the Walk at Leon. I am so thankful for his presence and constant encouragement. I honestly wonder if I would have had the commitment to continue on after reaching Leon if Caleb wasn’t with me.

Thank you all for your prayers and kind thoughts, they have meant a great deal.
I have been looking at the Forum off and on since I’ve been home. It is helping me to gauge where I am at; I still feel incapable of meaningful contribution. Heck, I am having difficulty trying to meaningfully contribute and connect with my own family.

I realize that there have been many private messages and posts that have been made to me. I have glanced at them, but I feel a bit unprepared to read them as they deserve to be read. I can only say that it has been overwhelming – in a great way. I really am astounded by you’re the positive way you have viewed my participation on the Forum; I really don’t feel I am deserving of such. My participation has been without expectation of anything other than to try and follow the example of positive contributions which all the veteran members have made in order to make the Forum the wonderful place that it is.

I look forward to the time that I feel I can join you all in conversation and helpfulness and education to those new members looking to the Forum for guidance. Maybe after the upcoming holidays and with time for the medics to do their thing. I do hope it is sooner than later as you are all a bright, positive, and wonderful community of friends.
Welcome home Brother. Welcome home.
 
Camino(s) past & future
cycled from Pamplona Sep 2015;Frances, walked from St Jean 2017.
#50
Hola @davebugg. A big hug and an even bigger thank you for your update. So often we see forum members offering support - both mental and sometimes physical and we never hear from the original poster again.
Your heartfelt story (those tears in the Pilgrim Office) - oh BTW you are not the first and I doubt you will be the last. As has been suggested take the time, during the coming winter, to gather your thoughts and resume the remainder of a fantastic life waiting for you to live it!
 
Camino(s) past & future
CF SJPdP to SdC
(May 2015)
CF Sarria to SdC
(May 2016)
CF SJPDP-SdC
(Apr/May 2018)
VdlP (2020)
#51
Great to hear from you @davebugg .
I'm sure like everyone else, I look forward to your return 'full time' .

Big hug buddy. If you're a 'huggy' kind of a guy of course............... :oops:

If not..............well that was kind of 'awkward' :)

Great that you checked in...........
 

Bristle boy

Here,There and Everywhere..Nowhere in particular.
Camino(s) past & future
2019
#52
I have read Dave Buggs last post! Just for one minute I am going to put my “serious” head on!
I read with sorrow,empathy and more than a little anger! (What an understatement)...Dave, I hope (and pray) you are listening and reading some of the posts that have been sent to you! I do not know you (and vice versa)...I just wish I did! I have read enough of your insightful and informative posts which appear to help and assist other
Peregrinos in their choice of gear etc!
Every Camino, every step you take in life, you are going to encounter every cross section of human existence! See that wine glass as a metaphor for a deficiency in vocal skills! You are the better man and I hope the memory quickly fades, as others do!
Please come back...I am sending the biggest virtual and metaphorical hug from the West of England.
Lastly it isn’t that we don’t love Americans..we just love you more!

Edit. This post has been moved here..and I am (obviously) a little out of touch. It is great news and Dave, my sentiments still stay the same and my original post unaltered!!!
 
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