Hoping for "The Way" experience

[Mark Heard]

Ive watched The Way several times & it is part of the reason I would like to walk the El Camino in 2015. There are many reasons why I love the movie but one big part is the relationships that are built between Tom & the other 3 main characters along the way (I know, it's only a movie).

I am by nature an introvert but I would like to experience this side of the El Camino. I'm not saying exactly as the movie portrays it but for me, having connections with people would add a huge amount to the whole experience. This might seem a REALLY strange question but did you develop some friendships/connections along the way that have lasted? I'm not concerned about the physical aspect of the walk but more the need to be "extroverted" to make these connections.

 

[jstorybook]

Walking the Camino will be pushing the envelope so to speak in many ways. I am also an introvert and so for me I would need to move beyond my introvertedness at times to get to know other pilgrims--I sometimes would need to take the first step to get to know another pilgrim. The good news is that pilgrims sharing a common journey have a pretty good understanding of each other and the struggles with journeying and so have a common bond. That being said, there is no guarantee that anyone will for the kind of relationships depicted in the Way. I met many people, seeing them over and over again as I walked the 800 kilometers to Santiago. However, I will say that these relationships were not deep but nevertheless significant to me particularly after arriving in Santiago and seeing many people I had not seen since I began the Camino in St. Jean. One thing for certain as you journey is you never know what to expect, and so you always need to be open to the moment, and present in the day and the miles that lie before you--and the friendships will come--in many ways how they form will surprise you.

 

[Alena]

Lots of us were inspired by the film. The truth is this will be YOUR Camino and it is completely up to you how you will relate to others. I watched the film again after I returned and this time I was breaking through the perspective of my own experience, which was better than the film, because it is all mine So just relax and enjoy

 

[Deleted member 3000]

The Way is a film, so the writer, director, and editor create a reality. Reality may be quite different. If you are not Martin Sheen, then the actual characters on the pilgrimage may react to you differently. In the film the characters are surprisingly persistent in creating their relationship, and you may not find other pilgrims that are that persistent. You are the lead character in your camino, and will get what you create. Create a great one, and have fun. Too many expectations make it harder to have that fun.

Buen camino.

 

[Diogo92]

Well, has you've said, it's a movie.

You can pick up something from there, which will definitely appear on your Camiño. But I think that it's very different, because beside the story being fiction, there is also a different story and motivations beside anyone of us.

So you will find a lot of comradeship on the Camiño, and you will probably find friends for life, to which who you may talk every week and that can help, you either if you visit their country or their hometown (it happened to me).

I believe that the Camiño it’s a great place for you to let your guard go down, and to be more social. Because unless you do a silent/lone pilgrimage, at one time or another, you’ll have to talk with somebody, it could be for directions, it could be for anything. So go with a mind open

You are there to live your Camiño, not a fictional story created by Emilio Estevez.

Best Regards
Diogo

 

[Steeltown Pilgrim]

If you walk the Camino Frances you will create many bonds and friendships--it's inevitable, unless you purposely avoid such entanglements. Whether or not you have one or several truly deep relationships can also depend largely on who you meet. I guarantee you will be very happy with this aspect of your journey-buen canino.

 

[shanefitz1]

Hi!

I'm delighted to thank God and say that my Camino was indeed a "The Way" experience! I walked alone and in my first week developed a great group of friends, sadly all had left by Logrono so I was then back alone again. I was so happy to have experience such closeness that I really doubted it would happen again and just was s happy that it happened the first time! Yet then again, after a few days of casual chatting I met some new friends who grew to be extremely close and we walked to Santiago together, by the end our group grew from a core of maybe 7 people to over 20 people having a victory dinner together in Santiago! And it was even a ridiculously apt movie experience because in our group was Tom from California and Joost from Holland. Haha! What are the chances!

Everyone's Camino is different, but hope and pray! Yet don't count on it! That's very important. You'll only set yourself up for disappointment. Instead, smile and relax and trust that God has his plan.

In the end, you will have the Camino you are meant to have. And I bet that standing in Santiago at the end, you wouldn't change a thing!

Buen Camino!

 

[pbucilla]

Mark, you mentioned in your post that you're an introvert, and that tells me that you are more interested in one on one conversations and at a deeper level than perhaps the superficial weather chatter. It also tells me that you're a listener. I imagine that because you want to find a significant connection with others on your Camino, that you will and that these connection could be life long connections. Buen Camino! Pennie

 

[StuartM]

It's pretty unusual to walk up to a stranger and start talking in real life. On the Camino it's run of the mill. People will talk to you and it is very easy to talk to others. You'll make friends, it's hard not too because the necessity of Camino life (albergue life especially) makes it hard to do anything else.

As said above you probably wont get the persistence that other characters showed in the film. Life doesn't work that way, you get out what you put in.

Enjoy it and try not to have preconceived ideas as they may let you down and might even interfere with a more authentic experience.

 

[jcosta]

Ive watched The Way several times & it is part of the reason I would like to walk the El Camino in 2015. There are many reasons why I love the movie but one big part is the relationships that are built between Tom & the other 3 main characters along the way (I know, it's only a movie).

I am by nature an introvert but I would like to experience this side of the El Camino. I'm not saying exactly as the movie portrays it but for me, having connections with people would add a huge amount to the whole experience. This might seem a REALLY strange question but did you develop some friendships/connections along the way that have lasted? I'm not concerned about the physical aspect of the walk but more the need to be "extroverted" to make these connections.

I've also watched the movie many times before and after biking the camino in May 2013. Although i biked the Camino, i can assure you it is a lot thougher than it looks in the movie. You may or may not make friends along the way because you don't know what is going to happen during the 800 KM. However, you're going to have many opportunities to socialize with other people. Sometimes you will want to give up because of a number of factors, including cold, too hot, rain, loneliness, no place to sleep, etc, but make sure you don't give up because you will go through lots os wonderful experiences as well. Bon Camino

 

[Chacharm]

Oh - you're going to have a MUCH better experience than "The Way"! A few things have changed since they filmed that movie - which was based on the true experiences of a man named Jack Hitt - not just the fictional creation of Emilio Estevez. Read Hitt's book. It is wonderful. Even more has changed since Hitt walked. There are plenty of albuergues - I wouldn't worry about having no place to sleep or being lonely.
The chances you're going to make Camino pals with a pointlessly hostile woman walking the Camino and a brutally tedious Irish writer who won't leave you alone are slim to none. You're pretty likely to meet friendly, interesting folks from the Netherlands and Ireland and Canada though.
Here is the thing to keep in mind. Every peregrino you encounter is doing the same thing you are doing. They may be doing it for a different reason - but they're getting up and walking the same path you are with the same ultimate destination. They are going to see most of the same sights you see every day, eat the same bocadillos, drink the same cafe con leche/wine. They're going to visit the same glorious Cathedrals and tiny bars and vistas and sunrises and sunsets so pretty you'll shed a tear. They're going to be just as sick of french fries and rude people who get up at 4 am and turn on bright head lights and rustle around waking everyone up.
They're going to have sore feet and aching knees too - and they're going to be seeing the same faces you are every day. And almost every one of them are also hoping to make some good friends to share it with on the Camino and afterwards.
So, smile and say good morning and sit a minute for a cup of coffee.
Invite the guy you keep seeing in the albuergues every night to have dinner with you, or to go to the bar for a beer. Ask the woman who seems to stop at the same time you do for lunch every day why she is walking the Camino and if she intends to go all the way or is just doing a leg. Offer a shoulder to cry on for the Australian girl who isn't having an easy time of it. Buy dinner for that guy who drastically underestimated the daily cost of the Camino. You'll find your people soon enough - and they will find you.
You'll be hard pressed to have such an extended period in your life where everyone around you is doing the same amazing thing you are every again - enjoy every minute of it - including this anticipatory time when you're planning and gearing up. I know you can't help a certain amount of anxiety but trust me - you'll be fine and you're going to have the time of your life!

 

[newfydog]

I'd like to have "The Way" experience too. No blisters, never even sweating!

 

[Chacharm]

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0743261119/?tag=casaivar02-20

 

[PANO]

All the right things have been said very well. While "The Way" was motivating me to do the Camino, I found that the actual experience was stronger in every single aspect and watching the movie again after returning was anti-climatic. It did not relate to my own Camino at all and was suddenly very superficial.
I much more enjoyed to read the book "The Way, my way" by Bill Bennett, which is truly reflecting the experience, besides being hilariously funny.

Pierre aka Don Pedro

 

[Phillypilgrim]

Hi Mark,
I suggest you stay in as many Association, Parochial, Vegetarian etc. albergues as you can. In other words, any albergue that has a communal in house dinner. I think you will really enjoy this. As you already said, you will need to challenge yourself and walk out of your comfort zone to make the connections you wish. I remember one evening at about 7 PM in a private albergue, a women stood in the middle of the room with many bunk beds and said, " who would like to go have dinner with me?" I had already eaten and declined, but thought "what a brave soul", and I learned something from her in that moment.

 

[Tumbleweed]

My intention was to walk "The Way" solo (Sept 3 - Oct 6, 2013) so I could reflect and grow my relationship with God. I was surprised at how many other connections I made, whether I wanted to or not, they came into my life and stayed. They became so valuable to me on my Camino, I couldn't have made it without them, nor would I have wanted to.

Even though I still keep in touch by email, facebook and Skype, I miss my friends; Roel from Holland, my sunshine. Peter from Hungary, I miss his handsome face and our wonderful walkie talkie days. I miss my new sisters Nel and Thea from Holland who truly loved me and held my hand through many miles. Then there are my Camino parents Sue and Randy from Canada. Sweet newlyweds Fabi and Pedro from Portugal. Funny Neal and Sean from Ireland and of course Edward, my darling from England. Handsome, off the wall Logan from Florida and last but not least, my beautiful Camino daughter/sister Megan from Rhode Island.

Also, many others who came in and out like sweet wind rolling over me and all my Camino Angels shinning brightly on me.

Mark, when you start walking, let go of any preconceived ideas of what it will or won't be................start walking and they will come. I've added a few photos to show you some of the wonderful people who walked into my life and stayed for a while, if not forever. (I'm in the pinkish shirt.)

Peace be with you and may the Lord guide your steps.

 

[mralisn]

Hi Mark,

Your experience will be better than the movie. Make it yours. There's a certain amount of pride in ownership.

The Camino is a wonderful journey. Even better, you will meet the most beautiful people. They will meet you. The bonds you make will be like no others.

2015 will be here before you know it.

Trust in the arrows,
Simeon

 

[paul.ferris]

Sorry that you saw the movie first. My suggestion is that you not take a pad, pod or phone. Technology can suck you away from what is around you. The Camino, in my opinion, is about people and if you don't resist they will draw you out. There is such an amazing international group of people going your way, looking for conversation and companions for cafe con leche and group at the restaurant for meals. Enjoy

 

[shefollowsshells]

Personally the relationships showed in that movie could not be further from what I would want or seek...though I liked the movie tons. there was so much tension between those characters no matter what life experiences they were trying to show them overcoming. I was suprised they stuck with each other so long.
Personally speaking I built some of the greatest connections my life has ever had...many who I will never see again let alone even connect with in the future...
You will have a wonderful Camino, and I suspect your connections will make you very happy that they were not the ones in the movie...

 

[dougfitz]

I am a classic, hard over 'I' on the Myer-Briggs test. I don't think it's necessary to be extroverted to be sociable, particularly in communal situations. But equally, don't expect the Camino to change your basic psychological make-up either.

And enjoy your own camino. 'The Way' is a creative adaptation designed to retain your interest for around 90 minutes. That will be about the time you will take to walk between villages in Spain, when absolutely nothing unusual will happen other than you will walk. Perhaps you will enjoy the scenery, or curse at the rain, or chat with another pilgrim. But it is unlikely that you will have any of the manufactured drama depicted in the film.

Regards,

 

[Mark Heard]

WOW - I am flabbergasted, blessed & a little teary at times reading all of your wonderful posts. I didn't expect such encouragement & "wise words" from a bunch of people Ive never met. It's funny, I don't know if its the type of people this forum attracts, or the effect that walking the Camino has on people, but you are all very kind & generous.

Thankyou.

 

[JabbaPapa]

There are many different ways of doing the Camino, including relationships-wise, and The Way illustrates only one of them.

It does so both sensitively and accurately, but most people's Camino will actually be very different.

Whatever else, attempting to relive somebody else's experience is a non-starter.

My three Caminos so far -- one with a group of friends from Paris ; one almost completely solitary ; one 50% solitary, 25% with acquaintances of fortune, 25% (the final weeks) within a strong group of pilgrims that formed by chance along the Way.

You will most likely find that your walking companions will be discovered by compatibility of daily and hourly pace as much as for the social reasons that you might expect.

 

[ChuckPinoy]

Ive watched The Way several times & it is part of the reason I would like to walk the El Camino in 2015. There are many reasons why I love the movie but one big part is the relationships that are built between Tom & the other 3 main characters along the way (I know, it's only a movie).

I am by nature an introvert but I would like to experience this side of the El Camino. I'm not saying exactly as the movie portrays it but for me, having connections with people would add a huge amount to the whole experience. This might seem a REALLY strange question but did you develop some friendships/connections along the way that have lasted? I'm not concerned about the physical aspect of the walk but more the need to be "extroverted" to make these connections.

How your Camino experience ends up is all up to you. You have to make an effort to release the extrovert in you and become friendly. A nice smile, a hello, a greeting or a friendly gesture can go a long way when trying to meet new friends along the way. I have been fortunate to have met some wonderful people during my walk, some of which I have stayed in touch with. Many of the people walking the Camino feels just like you, so don't think you're the only one hoping to make friends. There will be sections of your walk were you'll feel lonely and deserted, but you'll always bump into a familiar face. These constant meetings with the same people walking your route will be the ones that will keep you encouraged and motivated to keep moving forward. Meeting new people will not be your problem, it's the walk, the weather, blisters, sore feet, heat/cold, heavy pack from overpacking, and your lack of preparedness that you have to worry about. I'd say make preparations, learn your route, plan your trip, learn from the many posts shared by others before you start your journey and you will have a memorable Camino experience. It will be a journey of a lifetime.

Buen Camino!

 

[Laliibeans]

Have you traveled much before? If so, did you find that it affected your tendency to be introverted?

I'm severely introverted at home, always have been. I'm very shy and never know what to say to people. However, I find that when I'm travelling I really come out of my shell and connect with people, find it easy to talk, etc. I think it has something to do with knowing that all my interactions will be short term, so even if i ask something stupid I won't have to live it down forever. Or maybe it's just because I step out of myself and take it as part of the adventure. I come alive when travelling in a way.

Perhaps you will, too? The Camino is a very different place to normal, routine life, so perhaps that will be the spark you need to also come out of your shell a bit.

 

[kaylfrazer]

Another classic introvert here. On each of my 3 caminos I have had lonely patches where I walked alone for days and sometime weeks, but I also had times that I really connected with people. Each time I have been surprised by how little a barrier language was. On my first camino in 2001, I met several people who I am still in contact with and one in particular who despite living at different ends of the earth, I have managed to meet up with again, each time in a different country.. can't wait to see where we meet next!

 

[JennyH94]

Ive watched The Way several times & it is part of the reason I would like to walk the El Camino in 2015. There are many reasons why I love the movie but one big part is the relationships that are built between Tom & the other 3 main characters along the way (I know, it's only a movie).

I am by nature an introvert but I would like to experience this side of the El Camino. I'm not saying exactly as the movie portrays it but for me, having connections with people would add a huge amount to the whole experience. This might seem a REALLY strange question but did you develop some friendships/connections along the way that have lasted? I'm not concerned about the physical aspect of the walk but more the need to be "extroverted" to make these connections.

Hi Mark - a great question and a great post ...

A suggestion - As having connections with people would add a huge amount to your experience, what about buying one of the Forum cloth badges to put on your pack? I've got nothing to do with the Forum other than being a huge fan (well, addict now!), but I'm thinking that if you had one of the badges it immediately identifies you as a fellow Forum member to any other pilgrims you see who are also Forum members. (If you do a search on Gerard Carey here on the Forum you'll see the link to buying the badge). You'll have a topic of conversation straight away. It's my view that anyone who stays on the Forum for a while is someone who really enjoys the connection with other like-minded people. We may not always agree with each other but we all 'get' each other and if a few of us do have a chance to run into each other on the Camino, it's a wonderful experience to see and talk with a fellow Forum member. Several members have reported this happening and it's always been fabulous. You might find that it's Forum members that you make a lasting connection with. Good luck with everyone you meet.

I loved 'The Way' ... have watched it countless times and that botafumeiro scene in the Cathedral ... with the looks of wonder and joy on all the actors' faces ... they're not acting!!!

Cheers - Jenny

 

[Mark Heard]

That's a terrific idea Jenny.

I've really appreciated everyones thoughts. It makes me want to leave now & experience the Camino.

I work in a medical field & talk with patients all day which for some makes it hard to believe I am an introvert. Anyway, I saw a husband & wife today who told me they had walked the Camino last year. My heart skipped a beat. I asked them to tell me of their experiences - I wished I'd had longer with them. It's the second time now in the last few months I have met people who have walked the Camino & each time I have had a chill go up my spine (the only way I can express it).

 

[MichaelB10398]

It is a wonderful thing to have hope; hope for a great Camino, hope for a better day, hope for all things good for others as well as for self. What is more problematic is to have expectations. Too often life tends to teach us lessons and expectations are often broken on the reality of today.

I appreciate what others have suggested, a movie is a commercial undertaking that necessarily must tell a story and often has little to do with reality. Instead of using the Way as the goal, it may be more productive to break down the experiences and events that would help you realize a great Camino. As you prepare for own own Camino, plan for creating good experiences with others. I have always found that when I serve others I am the one most benefited.

I suspect that your emotions on Camino will cover a lot of ground; from tears of sadness to tears of joy. Be open to what the Camino brings; there is a reason she has called to you.

 

[JennyH94]

That's a terrific idea Jenny.

I've really appreciated everyones thoughts. It makes me want to leave now & experience the Camino.

I work in a medical field & talk with patients all day which for some makes it hard to believe I am an introvert. Anyway, I saw a husband & wife today who told me they had walked the Camino last year. My heart skipped a beat. I asked them to tell me of their experiences - I wished I'd had longer with them. It's the second time now in the last few months I have met people who have walked the Camino & each time I have had a chill go up my spine (the only way I can express it).

My pleasure Mark!

Since writing my last post I've realized that you can click on 'Forum Badges' at the top of this page too.

I can appreciate that people might find it hard to believe that you feel that you're an introvert when you talk with patients all day, but as it's only on a specific subject/condition etc and then you need to move on to the next patient, it's not as if you have the time to really connect with people, at least in the workplace.

There are pilgrim associations worldwide ... if you go to the main Camino de Santiago Forum page and scroll down (a fair way) you'll see a heading "Camino de Santiago around the world" - there you'll see details of many associations, how to get in touch with them etc etc. If you have time, check them out and there might be a pilgrim group near you. Pilgrim groups are the most fantastic way of connecting with other pilgrims - new and returned - and the stories, support, sharing and fun is incredible. I promise you that you'll have many chills up and down your spine when you get together with other pilgrims!

Cheers - Jenny

 

[Deleted member 3000]

you can click on 'Forum Badges' at the top of this page

It is a great patch, but I have never seen one on any of the caminos! The fraction of Forum members on the camino, and the subset with a patch, make it pretty rare. Plan on meeting almost exclusively non-Forum pilgrims.

 

[jstorybook]

I sewed my patch on my backpack-it was the only one I saw in 800 kilometers

 

[Phillypilgrim]

I met three Pilgrims with patches (did not have one myself) and felt an immediate "connection", so Mark, it can't hurt!

 

[ManyMiles2Go]

I also had a patch on my backpack, but had no inquiries about it. But my wife and I did meet some wonderful people from Canada, Finland, Holland, and here in the USA that we are still in constant contact with. We are even starting to plan another walk here in the US sometime in the future (although a shorter walk, 1-2 weeks). We also met other great people from all over the world, unfortunately did not share contact information with You will meet people during your Camino, just remember to share some information with them. (You will probably meet some people you won't want to share info with also!) We always called people by where they were from, until we made a more solid connection. We would walk through a town, and I would say to my wife, "Hey, there is Finland" or "Hi Colorado, how are you doing". When we made a stronger bond with people, we would share more information, you never know if you will see them again or not. Everyone walks their own pace! Enjoy you Camino, I know we did!!!!

 

[lizlane]

I'm a huge fan of the movie "The Way" as well. It was the first time I heard about the Way of St. James and it definitely peaked my curiosity. So I started my research...What haunted me and continues to haunt me is this link:

Watching this video reminds me that even though I may not have made it to Spain yet, I'm already on my way. Being a part of this online community who don't actually need me to answer why I want to go, why must I ...has already been healing. So start here, start now. Don't wait to get to Spain to have a spiritual experience. Be in the moment right now, your moment and embrace all that follows as preparation. The real pilgrimage is life and we can have Camino moments anytime...Thank God I haven't had to put my life and growth on hold until I get to Spain to experience synchronicity and providence. The faith I build now will be the faith that keeps me walking then!

 

[John and Mandi]

I learned about the Camino by accidentally watching "The Way", it came up as a Netflix suggestion. I have since watched it several times and my wife (Mandi) and I are planning a Le Puy to Finisterre (possibly Muxia) trip sometime next year. I'm the extrovert and she's the introvert but I read a suggestion to switch it up. We discussed it and that just makes a lot of sense to us. Honestly, I think it will be much harder for me to shut up then it will be for Mandi to initiate conversations. One aspect I really liked about the movie is how Joost almost always announces Hola when entering an establishment.

There's a fine line with expectations, I've been a victim of my own in other endeavors. We will be walking the way for the international camaraderie, not all out partying though, so the close personal experiences are what we also hope to encounter. While that is our motivation and intent, we will be leaving it at the trail head. It will be what it will be. I'm a big proponent of being in the moment, a fool from ancient times, and always encourage others to break away from how they feel they may be perceived. Real relationships only happen when we are being real people, we should not be embarrassed of who we are.

You have reached out here and also with chance encounters. It sounds as though your way has already started so just keep on with what you are doing. I'm sure it will be tough to push past the introversion at times but a simple hola may be all that is needed. Honestly, you seem to be armed with one of the greatest ice breakers of all - medical experience. Helping other travelers may be all that is needed to help you fulfill your quest, I'm a romantic so of course I think that is so.

-John

 

[Pelegrin]

The "Way" is dedicated to Martin Sheen's father, Francisco Estévez, who was born in Parderrubias, that is located no more than 10 kms from the Camino Portugués, stage Tui - O Porriño.