How the Camino to changed you

[inspiredjen]

I want to start this thread for all the people who went on the Camino for more than just adventure -- who went to search their *interior* landscape and returned home with new insight.

I am back only a week now and feel softer at heart than I can ever remember. Even while I was relaxing in Fisterra, after 7 weeks of walking, I knew the Camino had changed me. I feel more trusting of both myself and others. I find myself wanting to live more slowly and deliberately -- as if to mirror the pace I took when I was walking.

Although I've tended to be relatively type-A and historically rather picky, I discovered on the Camino that I can be content in almost any situation. Contentment is a choice, it's an internal state that can be cultivated regardless of the exterior circumstances (rain, cold rooms, 5am bag rustlers, unfamiliar foods). I'm frankly astonished that I lived in some of the places I lived over those 7 weeks, that I walked through some of the places I walked...

I learned that the core of unhappiness in my life is judgment. The moment I judged the bag rustlers, I felt unhappy. The moment I judged another pilgrim's way of walking, I felt unhappy. And the moment I told the truth (ie, this albergue doesn't have the heat on), I felt at peace. It's the judgment ("The albergue SHOULD be heated.") that makes me unhappy. I realized that I've been in constant judgment mode all my life. That I'm constantly saying to myself that things "should" or "shouldn't" be as they are -- so no wonder I've been a ball of stress. On the Camino, I started changing this self-talk and simply accepting things as they are. "My toe hurts." "Those walls have graffiti on them." "I'm am walking with company when I'd rather be alone."

From this place of peaceful inner talk, I just asked myself what I wanted next... and very often the Camino (God/Universe/Spirit) provided that very thing: dry clothes, a warm bed, silence, and most of all love. Of all my insights, I think this one has the power to change my life.

Another thing I realized is that it's okay to ask for and receive help. I learned to ask if my walking buds would remove my hat from my bag. Such a simple thing -- but spared me taking off the pack, unclipping the hat, and putting the pack back on. I did the same for others and their water bottles. In a bar, I unknowingly dropped a glove while paying for a coffee -- and 6 total strangers, all pilgrims, lept from their chairs to rescue it. I was humbled. One day I fell in an unbusy street. When I landed, my pack had me on my back like a turtle, but my buds helped me up, dusted me off, and helped dry my tears of embarrassment. In Galicia, a friend and I went off the path to see a dolmen and 5 separate locals stopped what they were doing to wave us back in the "correct" direction. It was humbling. Help, requested and offered, was a revelation to me. At times, I had to work hard to let it in and at others, I just gaped in grateful astonishment.

Now that I'm back, I'm learning to apply these and other lessons to my "real" life. For example, I'm thinking about the areas where can I receive help and whether I have the people in my life who are willing to offer it.

I'm practicing noticing my judgments and turning them into neutral statements about what is. I want to keep my heart soft and my pace measured. I feel stronger and sexier than I have ever felt (who knew THAT would be a Camino outcome!) and am curious about how to help that grow. I can't say I have it all figured out yet, but I am moving toward a vision for my life that is better than the one I left 8 weeks ago.

Of one thing I'm sure: walking the Camino changed me. And I am eager to bring its lessons into my daily life.

What about you? Were you a spirit-seeker on the Camino? Did something clarify itself? Were there unexpected blessings that changed you?

 

[simply B]

Hi, jen -

"What did the Camino change about me?" In the interest of saving your time here's my best answer: "Everything."

(I finished back in November after walking from SJPP to Muxia and Finisterre and back to Negreira before time ran out and I caught a bus back to SdC.)

Not only had I no plan for the Camino; I had no plan to be ON the Camino. A series of strange happenings and coincidences aligned to suck me in. I was not happy about it. (I so get your point about "judgement".) But, after a few days, I found such a simplicity, rhythm and pleasantness about the typical day that I began to lighten up. By Fisterra, I had a new habit - smiling. Somewhere out there, I discarded a lot of old "baggage" and processed some long-delayed grief. Also, everything that you have noted below resonates very strongly with me. (Less than a year ago, I might have challenged you as to which of us was more "Type A"?)

I am still trying to work through all the changes - - while I recognize them as positive not all of them are without 'side-effects'. An example... while I do not talk about the Camino nor even reference it much to folks of long acquaintance it appears to have had an "isolating" effect. E-mail and calls to get together are way down.

My wife and kids have noted that I am different - - to an extent (and in a way) - - that many of these folks may just find too strange. (Family is very pleased with the change, btw.)

For now, I'm just figuring out the way forward. Maybe will need another 'little walk' to get that sorted. I am a slow learner.

Good luck on your own processing of the Camino experience, it is a rich store of lessons, inspiration and strength.

B

 

[Kimmy]

Thanks for your nice post Jen.

It has now been seven years since I did my Camino and I can say that it definitely changed me. On the outside not so much (probably it has since I do not care so much about my appearance any more) but definitely on the inside. When I returned from my walk I was glowing from inside and out. That first radiance slowly wore off but on my inside I can still feel it. It is as you said - something softened. Things I thought important before became very unimportant. Actually the Camino changed my whole life. Maybe it had changed anyway, but the change definitely happened faster than it had otherwise.

Before I was all about doing, being successful and getting acknowledged, and since the Camino I have slowly been leaving that behind on behalf of being. And it is such a relief, to let go of all the musts and all the theatre I was doing when I thought success meant happiness... The change did not appear at once during or even a short time after the camino, but somehow a new direction was set out, and now, seven years later, I lead a completely different life from the stressed out and judgmental career woman I strived so hard to be. Oh, how wrong I was, and how absolutely lovely it is to have left all those roles behind and just be me. I am not Dalai Lama yet, so a few more Caminos needed :wink: , but at least I know I am on the right track now and I feel content with my life more or less every day.

 

[inspiredjen]

Wow. Thank you both so much for your thoughtful replies. I found myself grinning and nodding at all the resonance and similarities. Yay for being thoughtful, strange, post-Type A personalities!

Your comments also make me wonder if there's another Camino in me someday for all the added insight I would get. To think of how each of us accelerated our personal growth in a mere 2 months -- and all the benefits it holds even years later -- no wonder people do it again and again.

Bravo to both of you for allowing the experience to change you. I am so grateful for your sharing and glad to be in such good company on this journey.

 

[refindingmypurpose]

Lovely...Just Lovely! I cannot wait....

 

[Milepost99]

I like the metaphor "interior landscape". Although I stopped being overtly Type A a few years ago, I am hoping to further weed my "interior garden" when I Camino in September.

 

[WayWalker63]

I haven't walked the Camino yet but am enjoying this thread very much. Keep 'em coming!

 

[pep7702]

How has the Camino changed me?

I completed my Camino in May of this year and I can say that my changes are
subtle yet profound. My family says I'm more relaxed and happier. From my
standpoint this is because the Camino asks us to embrace life, all of life,
the difficult, the mundane and the magnificent. All are present every day on
the Camino. This made me more patient, open, curious, grateful and less
reactive.

It's my belief that the Camino's magic is alchemical. No one seems to be
able to describe exactly how it happens or why - it just happens as you walk
and live in the Camino's embrace. The bottom line is that my Camino
experience was one on the great blessings of my life. I will forever carry
the people and the Spanish landscape close to my heart.

Pep

 

[inspiredjen]

Beautiful, Pep (and hi, fellow Oregonian!). What you say feels true to me too.

Even if only a few do it for religious reasons, I can see now why this would make the trip to heaven a lot shorter. So much peace and understanding, forgiveness and acceptance are good for the soul.

Anyone else care to share? How did the Camino change you? Or perhaps better put, how did you change *yourself* on and after the Camino?

<3

 

[bribaby]

I first walked from Sarria to Santiago in 2009, and enjoyed it so much I decided to walk the complete Frances the following year.
I met many interesting people and thoroughly enjoyed the experience until reaching Foncebadon where I met a lady from Australia who turned my life completely upside down. When I returned to my home in Spain I couldn't get her out of my mind.
We corresponded over the next few months and realised that we both felt the same about each other, and so we decided to walk the Frances again in 2011. Suffice it to say we are now an item, (lovers sounds better!!). We have the bonus of a holiday home in Spain and another in Australia.
Thank you, thank you to the spirit of the Camino that bought us together

 

[naranco]

You have expressed your experiences very eloquently.

I am amazed, and comforted by the fact that the experiences from the camino are very much the same for folks, wherever they are from.

I walked mine during the second half of June. I think my choice of the route was appropriate for me. It seems that the more popular routes are quite crowded. Even then, you take away personal "life lessons".

The whole experience was a lot more emotional than I had thought at the beginning. Particularly arriving in Santiago, looking at the Cathedral, and later participating in the Pilgrims mass with the people I had been walking up with are memories that I will always be fond of.

I have also found the statement that once you walk it once, you will walk it again, to be true. In general, walking, although maybe not soothing for the feet, it is definitely soothing for the mind.

 

[DurhamParish]

I retired at the end of 2011. At home, with more leisure time on my hands, I began to develop a bad habit of doing something that I was not happy with. I could not stop myself from doing it, and I was more and more aware of the time I was wasting, the painful secrets I was hiding from my loved ones, and was also becoming a person that I DID NOT want to be. I felt helpless with this burden.

In September of 2012 I walked the Camino Portuguese from Porto to Santiago. I asked the Lord to help me use this journey to relieve myself of this burden. It's now gone, left abandoned on the trail somewhere between Porto and Santiago. The Lord sent many angels in the guise of pilgrims (at least they seemed like angels to me) to show me love and friendship, and through that bolster my self esteem and self worth and to become more of the person that I should be.

 

[hecate105]

It made me realise that I can do anything I set my mind to - anything!!

 

[Tincatinker]

I set out from StJdP as a hiker, became a pilgrim as I began to understand why I was really on this "hike", arrived in Santiago and found myself a hiker once again. On the way to Muxia and Fisterra my pilgrimage began again and now it continues.

How did the Camino change me? I'm not sure yet, but the change has been profound. I take my self much more seriously than I ever did before. By which I mean that I think I have started to become something slightly more than myself.

 

[Say Simba]

Yes, in some respects, the Camino de Santiago changed me. More specifically, it reinforced changes I began making some months earlier in my life.

One thing that the Camino did not do, is let me believe that I was in a different world than the one I was leaving while doing the pilgrimage. In this microcosm I found many things even amplified in how people conduct themselves in the outside world apart from the Camino. The only difference, however, was how I perceived it. Whereas I formerly would put up with so much nonsense, during my Camino I finalized my evolution in no longer playing along.

The Camino was an adventure trek for me, yet, I had much to reflect upon, no doubt. Much to reflect upon, indeed.

 

[Sarahandlouise]

Today I got really excited about a new pair of shoes......not a red sole in sight but a great pair of Inov Roclite 275 Gortex! A year ago I would have been checking out heels but having started our Camino in April(regulars will know we returned home due to a bereavement) and booked our return for September many things have changed. Possessions are less important and an acceptance of how little we actually need, liberating. Another interesting change has been my attitude to new friendships. As life becomes busier we are tempted to edit our friendships to allow quality time with those friends close to us. The Camino opened up a floodgate of worldwide friendships that Louise and I will get a second opportunity to explore in just a few weeks time. In October as we hopefully reach our destination I may have a whole range of other changes to confess to.
Sarah and Louise

 

[freeflyer123]

I do wish there was a 'like' button to press for all these entries

I finished my camino last week along with my husband. As with so many of you above, the camino has changed us both and even brought us closer to each other. Those who know us say we are both now so much more relaxed.

We were both constantly aware, while on the camino, that we weren't making things happen - rather they were happening 'to us'. Like when we most needed help, it was always forthcoming. I would very much like to thank the nice woman who gave up her lower bunk for me when we were at an albergue where ladders to the upper bunks were not provided. Try as I might, I could not get up there (I'm a real shorty anyway). She willingly gave me her lower bunk. And the lad on a bike who shared his almonds with us.

While my husband saw the trip as an endurance test, I was doing it more from a spiritual point of view. And I suspect now that my husband also understands that when people say "the camino will provide" this is, indeed, true. We had meant to only do this camino - but, to be honest, we are already wondering about next year...