I don't want to just be an 'Extra' in someone else's Camino...

[David]

I don't think Xing the past is deleting it - how can we delete our memories? Surely it is to do with processing the past so that we can detach from those memories, no longer have them as defining us as who and what we are today. Attachment, emotional attachment, to memories, to things from our past creates in us, now, a person living in the past - but the past doesn't exist, not at all, only a skewed version in our minds .. the past has no reality, none whatsoever - so to be attached to skewed memories is a voluntary imprisonment, don't you think?
This is why the word 'acceptance' is so much a part of the ability to live and to love -

Apart from people who just like to walk long distances it seems to me that the majority of pilgrims are there on Camino, even if they haven't yet realised it, because of something big in their lives, some crisis or fork in the road - who else would take five or six weeks out of their lives to do something so "ridiculous"?

Something is happening in their lives. Something happens (to me they are called, we are called) - a life may suddenly seem meaningless, pointless .. running after money or working a dead end job .. that feeling at three in the morning that "there must be something better than this" "there surely must be a meaning to all this" - those people go on Camino. Others, who think they have been 'happy' for decades suddenly find that the anguish of the death of a loved one, the betrayal of a partner or friend, an illness, in themselves or others, a sudden loss of job or money - something jogs them out of the routine, something finds them wanting to walk 500 miles with a pack in all weathers, staying with strangers in basic and crowded shelters .... something happens - and the past - that delusory and illusory past that doesn't exist at all, those demon emotional memories that crush the heart and take the joy out of being alive fight against it, try to stop you going - tell you you are not good enough, not fit enough, and so on. Others, even if they seem jolly and chatty and so on, for them their walk is a continuous prayer of thanks and gratitude - so I think none of it is random but that we are all called and Xing the past is a wonderful liberating thing.

For me it is not forget, for me it is detach, allow oneself to be free, to put that weight down like a heavy suitcase, straighten up, and walk on ... and I think that Camino is a space where this can be achieved - not always of course, not for everyone, but for those who earnestly desire it, who have that intent - well, Buen Camino!!

Just my opinion

 

[alexwalker]

Oh, and @ Alex Walker, I don't see an X or a Cross. Of course i see Contrails! Love the thought of a Cross or an X though.

Not all do. You have to look harder. You'll se it when you need it.

I don't think Xing the past is deleting it - how can we delete our memories? Surely it is to do with processing the past so that we can detach from those memories, no longer have them as defining us as who and what we are today.

Spot on. That was the meaning of it. More than one pilgrim has been crying on my shoulder. And walked on, looking for their "X".

 

[C clearly]

Currently I sit for an hour or 2 each day, going through my late mother's extensive collection of photos, letters, diaries, address books, etc., etc. I am scanning much of it and will throw away the paper versions. The scanner provides a plan B in case my family every wants to see the documents again but I am SO longing not to have these boxes of musty memories and lost opportunities, as I enter my own old age.

As I sort and read, I also have my computer on and watch what is happening on the Camino forum! The two activities - review and detaching from the past, and camino dreaming - are very compatible.

 

[david g]

David - That Camino will work for you but will it work for your son. I did the Camino Frances with my son when he was a similar age back in 98 and he had had plenty of my company and bonding after a few days and was looking to meet others as well. Your plan may work perfectly but be prepared to change it if things do not work out the way you expected, perhaps God will lead your Camino in another direction.

I second that line of thinking. I had great hopes of bonding time with my son when we were on our Camino, and I wasn't disappointed. However, the Camino lasts a long time. Trying to interact with only one person can be a bit much for anyone. When I arrived in Rabanal, my son was nowhere to be found. (An elderly Brother at the church there told me simply "he is where he needs to be".) Turns out he was a town ahead of me. He stayed a town ahead of me for the next couple of days because, as he put it, he needed to be with people his own age. It kind of bummed me out, but it made perfect sense. We had already had days and days of being together. It was time for him to experience the Camino in his own way, to form his own friendships, apart from me. It helped me see that I had reached that place as a parent where I had to let him live his own life and trust that I'd done a good enough job of raising him. David, I hope, as William said, that you'll stay open to the possibility that things won't go entirely as planned and that you'll be able to follow a different path, should one present itself.

 

[rubyslippers]

Currently I sit for an hour or 2 each day, going through my late mother's extensive collection of photos, letters, diaries, address books, etc., etc. I am scanning much of it and will throw away the paper versions. The scanner provides a plan B in case my family every wants to see the documents again but I am SO longing not to have these boxes of musty memories and lost opportunities, as I enter my own old age.

As I sort and read, I also have my computer on and watch what is happening on the Camino forum! The two activities - review and detaching from the past, and camino dreaming - are very compatible.

You are so lucky to have those things to go through. I also have boxes and wonderful treasures. Mom was a genealogist and I love reading the letters people used to write to each other. At time it took the course of many months before they got a response.

I work on my history while watching the Camino Forum also. What a great group of people here. Thanks all. @alex Walker, it was a little "tongue in cheek" when I said I see Contrails - I flew for Northwest and then Delta and of course when I look up and see the Contrails it makes me a little melancholy for my flying friends. The Camino was very much an experience of seeking Spiritual Grace. I sure did find it and I sure did need it.

 

[alexwalker]

@alexwalker, it was a little "tongue in cheek" when I said I see Contrails - I flew for Northwest and then Delta and of course when I look up and see the Contrails it makes me a little melancholy for my flying friends.

Ahh, now I understand: Contrails are crossing vapour lines? Pardon my lack of understanding of the finer details ("tongue in cheek") of the English language. However, your command of Norwegian, is also lacking, I guess? So, you got it.

 

[tpmchugh]

As the time nears for my first Camino, the time seems to be slowing down..... It's like being a kid waiting for Christmas. But at least I still have time (76 sleeps) for more training and preparation.

Now please don't be upset by this thread title. It's not meant to sound arrogant or inflammatory. Let me put it into context. It's just an 'alternative' view...

My Camino is going to be my Camino. It may be the only one I get to do. So I'll do it my way.

That means no Albergues unless I have to, leaving an stopping when I want to, without being part of the bed race, walking at my own pace, probably mostly alone, as I want time to reflect. I'm sorry but I'm not into enforced communal living and socialising. I can think of nothing worse.

I'm quite a social animal when I want/need to be, but equally happy with just my own company. And I don't make friends easily, through choice. (there are probably some underlying reasons for that).

Who knows, I may change during the Camino, and I'm more than happy to accept what comes. I have readily faced many significant challenges in my life and sometimes ended up enjoying them. So I don't move through the World totally blinkered to new possibilities and experiences. Quite the opposite in fact.

So my preference at least at this stage, is for privacy, a degree of just being with me. I know this might be hard on the CF, but I know many say it's possible in a virtual sense, to walk alone. I probably should walk a different Camino perhaps...

But the CF it's going to be.

So there is one point and one question here.

The point is, for most Pilgrims it seems the social aspects are one of the most enjoyable elements. And that's great. I totally get it. Please just accept that there are others for whom this might not be the case. And if I choose to walk and eat alone some days, it might just be that I prefer to. You walk your Camino in the manner you prefer, and I'll walk mine..... Don't look upon me as being 'alone' and 'needing' company....

And don't worry, I'm not such a 'loner' that if I pass you and you need help, that I won't stop to help! I'm not totally anti social! (and vice versa of course)

The Question is this. The more I read about the last 100km from Sarria, the more I worry that my Camino will end, at least emotionally, right there. I even read a blog by one of our members, where he suggested that next time he would skip the last 100 km.

So my question is this. Is it possible to skip over to a less travelled Camino for the last 100 km? Where would you skip to?

I suppose the other alternative is to just jump ahead to Santiago and forget the final 100 km. And then maybe walk to Muxia? (I'm not really concerned about the Compostella)

Who knows, maybe by the time I reach Sarria, if I make it that far, I'll enjoy the crowds and the noise..... But somehow I doubt it.....

If I have worked it out that you are starting one week after me so I doubt very much you will be involved in any bed races in April/May.

 

[rubyslippers]

Ahh, now I understand: Contrails are crossing vapour lines? Pardon my lack of understanding of the finer details ("tongue in cheek") of the English language. However, your command of Norwegian, is also lacking, I guess? So, you got it.

One of my biggest regrets, Alex, is that I didn't learn at least one other language. I admire people so much who speak more than one. My oldest daughter speaks 6 and my 2nd and 3rd speak 2. Humor is the most difficult to get through type and on line. I appreciate your posts. kind regards

 

[alexwalker]

Speaking Norw., Swedish, Danish, English, German, some Spanish, VERY basic Russian, and a little Italian. It comes in veery handy in Europe. No French, though: I know how to order red wine and peppersteak, but it gets boring after a week...

I have found that speaking some Spanish is extremely helpful on the Camino, as well as I feel I am paying a little respect towards the people/country I am walking through. Will learn more, for mutual benefit.

 

[rubyslippers]

Speaking Norw., Swedish, Danish, English, German, some Spanish, VERY basic Russian, and a little Italian. It comes in veery handy in Europe. No French, though: I know how to order red wine and peppersteak, but it gets boring after a week...

I have found that speaking some Spanish is extremely helpful on the Camino, as well as I feel I am paying a little respect towards the people/country I am walking through. Will learn more, for mutual benefit.

When I'm in Japan, China, Germany, Peru or Mexico people are so kind when you try to speak their language. I always try. I find that in the Castilian portion of Spain they are a little difficult if you don't speak perfect Castilian Spanish. I still try and believe it is a form of respect.

Daughter speaks a little Russian, Italian, French, Spanish and German. I don't always assume that anyone speaks English, but I feel fortunate when they do. I love a good conversation with someone from another place and alas, I'm not good at it. I chose to walk my first Camino during the April/May months as I didn't want to show up there when all the Americans were on the trail during the summer months. I only met one other American the whole time and that worked well for me.

 

[David]

I speak Esperanto like a native

 

[alexwalker]

Speaking a little of the country's tongue is a good thing for both parties. But we are hijacking poor Robo's thread, aren't we? And back to that:

Robo; walk as you like: It is your and only your Camino. As I said: I also like to walk in solitude. Having said that, I have been blessed by newfound friends, young and old, on the Camino. Some I have given hope, others have given me hope. It is often a mutual thing. The Camino is a very strong force, that will change you forever, for the better, if you only listen to it and allows it to do so.

 

[Robo]

Speaking a little of the country's tongue is a good thing for both parties. But we are hijacking poor Robo's thread, aren't we? And back to that:

Robo; walk as you like: It is your and only your Camino. As I said: I also like to walk in solitude. Having said that, I have been blessed by newfound friends, young and old, on the Camino. Some I have given hope, others have given me hope. It is often a mutual thing. The Camino is a very strong force, that will change you forever, for the better, if you only listen to it and allows it to do so.

Hijack to your hearts content........... A stifled conversation is never as much fun

 

[alexwalker]

Robo; I have a suspicion you are preparing a lot for your Camino through this thread...?

You may find unexpexted experiences on your Way.

Very good for you, if that is the case.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

I love the unexpected image, the allusion to an idea, memory, regret, contrition, decision, a moment's notice, the serendipity.
A contrail, small snail, slug trail, fault line, sunrise, sunshine.
The unexpected smile, smug shrug, casual goodbye, delighted hello.
Welcome...to the Camino.

 

[naplesdon]

Ongi ettori!

 

[David Baylor]

David - That Camino will work for you but will it work for your son. I did the Camino Frances with my son when he was a similar age back in 98 and he had had plenty of my company and bonding after a few days and was looking to meet others as well. Your plan may work perfectly but be prepared to change it if things do not work out the way you expected, perhaps God will lead your Camino in another direction.

When it comes to the Holy Spirit, I assume I will need to change.

 

[Stephen Nicholls]

Hi Robo!
A fascinating lot of forum entries !
I'm sure you're going to have a great time ... you may even find you occasionally stay in an albergue just for the fun of it. Yes - it CAN be fun! I stay in one or two each week, but admit to preferring the occasional 'en suite' in a hostal.
Mind you, I can't help wondering why - if you're such a loner, and prefer your own company - you are choosing the French Camino! Why choose the busiest one of them all?
As you can see under my picture

I've walked a few caminos, but haven't done any of the Frances [yet!]
And, because I enjoy a bit of peace and solitude, in three months time I'm walking the Ruta del Ebro - and won't be surprised if I see no other pilgrims at all - but that's fine by me. At the same time, I love my various 'camino families' that I find each year, and enjoy their brief company.
My diaries [on my web site] tell you what I discovered on each camino - and the last 100 kms as well.
You are going to have a super time ... one day I may attempt the busy Frances, but not until a few others have been travelled.
Buen camino, amigo Robo!​

 

[Robo]

Hi Robo!
Mind you, I can't help wondering why - if you're such a loner, and prefer your own company - you are choosing the French Camino! Why choose the busiest one of them all?

Hi Stephen. Probably not a loner so much, (I can be quite sociable) as looking forward to plenty of time to walk alone and reflect... Which it sounds like I can do on the Frances.

Why the CF? Maybe because it is so well travelled and therefore so well supported in terms of facilities? Maybe it's an 'easier' one to try first? Maybe because of the movie?

It just feels like the one I want to do... So it must be the one to do

 

[David]

whichever Camino - Buen Camino

 

[naplesdon]

Where is the opinion of MendiWalker when you really need it?

 

[xin loi]

The hikers are similar to a human telegraph and usually after not seeing someone for several days, someone else comes along and tells you where they are or perhaps, that they quit. Ended up drinking wine for several evenings in Santiago with 19 others who started in SJPDP and we always talked about the "missing in action". We all regretted not taking the time to learn more about them; The Italian girls with the big stuffed animals on their packs who had to quit due to illness; the Romanian couple who were so nice to everyone; the big tough guy from Thailand who just threw his pack away and quit outside of Burgoes; The Italian girl who walked off with the local Asparagus farmer near Pamplona and was never seen again; Steve, who was last seen sleeping in one of the Huts of the Seven Dwarfs; etc , etc. Most of us wished we had spent a little more time with these people and others and wondered if we should have done more to make their hikes easier.

Up to you, but you are going to miss out meeting some great people if you walk alone. Like most veterans of the war in Viet Nam, I'm a loner with nothing to talk about with most people. But I spent a lot of time laughing over a couple gallons of wine with a lot of strange people many, many nights along the Camino.

 

[shefollowsshells]

Probably just thinking aloud a bit Dutch. And not that coherently

I agree you might have been thinking out loud but wondered for someone who seems set on enjoying being alone why you might have been drawn to think a loud among a HUGE bunch of strangers/pilgrims if not seeming to want to be with strangers/pilgrims so much on the Camino. I dunno I'd think someone who really does want to be alone might not have felt the need to think out loud among a bunch of pilgrims.
Maybe a sign you don't want to be as alone as you think you do...????
Buen Camino

 

[Robo]

I agree you might have been thinking out loud but wondered for someone who seems set on enjoying being alone why you might have been drawn to think a loud among a HUGE bunch of strangers/pilgrims if not seeming to want to be with strangers/pilgrims so much on the Camino. I dunno I'd think someone who really does want to be alone might not have felt the need to think out loud among a bunch of pilgrims.
Maybe a sign you don't want to be as alone as you think you do...????
Buen Camino

Time will tell...... only 49 sleeps to go.