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COVID I'm plummeting...

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
 
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alexwalker

Forever Pilgrim
Camino(s) past & future
(2009): Camino Frances
(2011): Sevilla-Salamanca, VdlP
(2012): Salamanca-SdC, VdlP
(2014): SJpdP-Astorga
(2015): Astorga-SdC
(2016) May Pamplona-Moratinos; Sept.:Burgos-SdC
(2016): August/Sept: Camino San Olav (Burgos-Covarubbias), Burgos-Sarria
(2017): May: Portuguese; Sept: Pamplona-SdC
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
I was supposed to walk into Burgos today... I'll be back!
 

nycwalking

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Ourense to Santiago (2019), CF: (2014, 2004, 2002, 2001). On to Fisterra, (2002, 4, 14).
Chris,

I wanted to post something like this but lacked courage.

Missing a camino is awful: night farts, folks screaming in middle of their dreams, matrimonio beds, and those matrimonio bunk beds. There’s nothing like sleeping face to face inches from a complete stranger.

COVID.

It’s taking a toll on everyone and everything the world over.

All I can say is: this too shall pass.

And, Santiago awaits us all.

You as well.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Missing a camino is awful: night farts, folks screaming in middle of their dreams, matrimonio beds, and those matrimonio bunk beds. There’s nothing like sleeping face to face inches from a complete stranger.
Awww, so funny! A smile given to me by my good friend!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
To slow your fall:
Rick, I am lifted up each and every day by your posts on various threads. I have the "Not Serious" thread in particular to thank for getting to know you in 2018. It was the catalyst that brought us together for a few hours last October in Barcelona because of that connection we share.
 

dougfitz

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Spain: Mar 2010, Apr 2014, May/Jun 2016. Norway/Sweden: 2012, 2018. Other: 2011, 2019. CP (tbc)
@Camino Chrissy, you shouldn't feel alone, even if current circumstances all conspire to do that.

@alexwalker's comment made me think about where I might have been on the CP today if I had managed to start last Sunday. Given the time zone differences, I think I would be still sleeping, but where? Porto de Muge was my target. Did I get there? Or did I push on a bit last night? If I had stopped at Porto de Muge, would I have stayed in the delightful looking Quinta de Palmeiras or the more rustic Quinta da Burra? My budget might not have stretched to the former, but one can dream of crisp white sheets and the delights of a formal dining room, well trimmed gardens and a swimming pool.

Perhaps my budget did get the better of me, and I stayed at a rural family home, with the delights that might have also had. Views over the fields now turning green with new crops, the prospect of dinner in a warm kitchen. And perhaps something more substantial than toast, juice and coffee for breakfast, even if that means not making a really early start.

And today, I would have walked into Santarem. Right now at home it is threatening to rain, and the hills across the valley have a backdrop of clouds. I think how nice it would be to be walking with the sun warming up the day, taking advantage of the short day I had planned to get my pack off before it gets too hot, and explore, do a bit of laundry and find somewhere for dinner tonight. Would there be other pilgrims? Or is it true that the CP is remarkably quiet before reaching Porto?

And I keep myself optimistic that this will all happen, just not yet. Do I speculate about when? Of course, but more to ensure that I am prepared to take advantage of getting there once the Portuguese and Spanish Governments decide the risks are manageable, and the government here lifts restrictions on overseas travel. I find that the pundits here who do speculate about whether it might be this year or next rather annoying, that discussion unhelpful, and now ignore those threads where I can. I would rather spend my energy getting ready for this pilgrimage when the opportunity arises.

Stay safe.

ps - I am watching CP videos on YouTube, and plotting the journeys in Google Maps, but I think of that as preparation! I haven't resorted to mulling over whether Tom and his companions were walking towards or away from Santiago in any particular scene of The Way. I will leave that to others for the moment :).
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
@Camino Chrissy, you shouldn't feel alone, even if current circumstances all conspire to do that.

@alexwalker's comment made me think about where I might have been on the CP today if I had managed to start last Sunday. Given the time zone differences, I think I would be still sleeping, but where? Porto de Muge was my target. Did I get there? Or did I push on a bit last night? If I had stopped at Porto de Muge, would I have stayed in the delightful looking Quinta de Palmeiras or the more rustic Quinta da Burra? My budget might not have stretched to the former, but one can dream of crisp white sheets and the delights of a formal dining room, well trimmed gardens and a swimming pool.

Perhaps my budget did get the better of me, and I stayed at a rural family home, with the delights that might have also had. Views over the fields now turning green with new crops, the prospect of dinner in a warm kitchen. And perhaps something more substantial than toast, juice and coffee for breakfast, even if that means not making a really early start.

And today, I would have walked into Santarem. Right now at home it is threatening to rain, and the hills across the valley have a backdrop of clouds. I think how nice it would be to be walking with the sun warming up the day, taking advantage of the short day I had planned to get my pack off before it gets too hot, and explore, do a bit of laundry and find somewhere for dinner tonight. Would there be other pilgrims? Or is it true that the CP is remarkably quiet before reaching Porto?

And I keep myself optimistic that this will all happen, just not yet. Do I speculate about when? Of course, but more to ensure that I am prepared to take advantage of getting there once the Portuguese and Spanish Governments decide the risks are manageable, and the government here lifts restrictions on overseas travel. I find that the pundits here who do speculate about whether it might be this year or next rather annoying, that discussion unhelpful, and now ignore those threads where I can. I would rather spend my energy getting ready for this pilgrimage when the opportunity arises.

Stay safe.

ps - I am watching CP videos on YouTube, and plotting the journeys in Google Maps, but I think of that as preparation! I haven't resorted to mulling over whether Tom and his companions were walking towards or away from Santiago in any particular scene of The Way. I will leave that to others for the moment :).
Thank you, @dougfitz! A wonderful reply! I walked the Portuguese out of Porto last spring. Your words are written like a good novel. I imagined those crisp white sheets myself as they were always such a treat after being in my sleeping bag for days on end. The perspectives of others are often helpful and I appreciated yours!
 

NorthernLight

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Le Puy to Santiago via the Frances 2012-2013. EPW2015
Aragonese & Frances 2016
Burgos to Muxia 2017
I can’t summon much enthusiasm for anything more than a short walk either. I’ve dabbled in some threads but, meh.

It’s okay to be sad today. Wallowing in it, even. But tomorrow is a new day and we shall endure and overcome.

I’d had my eye on a mid-April start, out of Almeria, but I saw the writing on the wall and never booked the flight. Sigh.

🍭
 

C clearly

Moderator
Staff member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016), VDLP (2017), Mozarabe (2018), Vasco/Bayona (2019)
I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.
Hi Chrissy! I agree with @Northern Light, who just posted as I was writing the following!

Keep in mind that most of us put on a slightly better public front than we might feel. I have been participating in some Zoom meetings, but don't always feel I really want to be there. It is OK to log on and not say anything much, or even to stay for only 10 minutes. (In fact, I have suggested that a time limit be set for the calls, so that we don't have to come up with excuses to leave before they end.)

I was maintaining a thread on a virtual camino on the Sanabres. I had planned to post one stage per day. But then I found that it seemed like too much work, but I had an obligation. So, I slowed it down and only posted a new stage every 2 or 3 days. In fact that worked better, since other people could reply with more leisure, too.

I tend to be a project-oriented person and like to check things off a list. We all have "plans" to get certain things done "when we have time." It is rather odd to find that these days we have time, but it is hard to get motivated and started.

On my local daily walks, I am trying to convince myself to enjoy them in a different way, now that the Camino motive has disappeared. This change in attitude is a work-in-progress, to put it mildly. Maybe I'll start a separate thread about that.

I am just mentioning these things and talking about myself to show that this lack of motivation and excitement is very common and understandable these days. I think it will ease as we get used to a new pattern, as spring weather comes, and, of course, when restrictions are gradually lifted.

Hang in there, and keep us posted!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Thank you, @C clearly! I appreciate your perspective. I hold you in high esteem so it's rather comforting that you are struggling a tad, too. I have seen your Sanabres virtual camino thread. Although I have not physically looked at it, I've noticed the many, many number of replies you have had. It has been a success for your efforts, and has filled a need or been an enjoyment for forum members.
 

Terry Callery

Chi Walker
Camino(s) past & future
"Portuguese Camino - In Search of the Infinite Moment" Amazon/Kindle books authored
"Slow Camino"
You are not alone with these feelings -it makes us all feel we have lost control. We (especially pilgrims) get fulfillment from self-directed action. I sometimes feel like a deer, standing in the road waiting for a car or a hunter to take me down. Too much waiting. I don't want to be a target.

Are our lives something that happens to us - or are we the agents that make everything happen? I choose to do little things that make me feel I have control.

What helps for me, are little projects -

Plant the peas today. And put the rototiller thru the garden
Visit my sister and give her some N95 masks and my West Wing CDs and the pistachio nuts she loves.
Add two more miles, to my four mile morning walks.
Wash the winter grime on the windows and put up screens for the summer.
Clean out the garage and see if there are any antiques I can put in my booth at Elmer's Barn when it reopens.
Paint the front door purple (Its a old 1840 Federal in Maine)
Trim the back Labrador's nails and give the old girl a brushing - girls like this attention. I know cause the tail wags the whole time.

Just one good thing accomplished every day. I am vigilant in setting small goals.
Makes me feel like I am the actor on stage and I'm not watching a movie.
Also I limit my news to just about 20 minutes. Causes too much "reaction formation".

I used to do some wood carving and still have the carving tools - that's next on the list - maybe I'll make a garden stool and carve the Phoenix Rising Out of the Ashes on the seat back!

I try to stay in the moment, like I did walking the Camino.
 
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FooteK

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
SJPdP to SdC, 2013; Lourdes to SdC, 2015; ??? to SdC (2020)
CC (the OP), I admire your ability to be honest with yourself and put your feelings into words, then share them with us.

My tentative CF was planned for September, with my daughter, who would have been walking it for the first time. Will I be able to do it a year from now (the CF will be there, but I will be another year older)?

I can only expect the best, plan for the worst. So, I'm looking at ordering new boots, trying to walk a few kms/day (ugh), and keeping in touch with my Camino Family and my friends on this forum.

Just think how absolutely joyous we will all feel when we are once again walking to Santiago!! Maybe an extra special exhilaration for those who already know the joy it brings. I think each person's first return trip to Santiago will make it a Holy Year, whichever year it turns out to be.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
You are not alone with these feelings -it makes us all feel we have lost control. We (especially pilgrims) get fulfillment from self-directed action. I sometimes feel like a deer, standing in the road waiting for a car or a hunter to take me down. Too much waiting. I don't want to be a target.

Are our lives something that happens to us - or are we the agents that make everything happen? I choose to do little things that make me feel I have control.

What helps for me, are little projects -

Plant the peas today. And put the rototiller thru the garden
Visit my sister and give her some N95 masks and my West Wing CDs and the pistachio nuts she loves.
Add two more miles, to my four mile morning walks.
Wash the winter grime on the windows and put up screens for the summer.
Clean out the garage and see if there are any antiques I can put in my booth at Elmer's Barn when it reopens.
Paint the front door purple (Its a old 1840 Federal in Maine)
Trim the back Labrador's nails and give the old girl a brushing - girls like this attention. I know cause the tail wags the whole time.

Just one good thing accomplished every day. I am vigilant in setting small goals.
Makes me feel like I am the actor on stage and I'm not watching a movie.
Also I limit my news to just about 20 minutes. Causes too much "reaction formation".

I used to do some wood carving and still have to carving tools - that's next on the list - maybe I'll make a garden stool and carve the Phoenix Rising Out of the Ashes on the seat back!

I try to stay in the moment, like I did walking the Camino.
Great advise, Terry, I appreciate your input. You are doing the right things...a bit at a time and it is then not so overwhelming. I do have plans to start a small vegetable garden in a couple of weeks since it's my first spring home in a very long time! However, I do not have a green thumb, but envy those who do!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Just think how absolutely joyous we will all feel when we are once again walking to Santiago!! Maybe an extra special exhilaration for those who already know the joy it brings. I think each person's first return trip to Santiago will make it a Holy Year, whichever year it turns out to be.
I love these words! I've thought of how extra appreciative I will be "next time"...I will never take walking the Camino for granted again!
 

zrexer

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
2014, 15,16 & 19 Camino Frances
2017 Camino Portuguese
2018 Camino Primitivo
2020 Camino Del Norte
My main concern having discovered the Camino in my late fifties was that my body would wear out before my desire to keep walking Camino's was sated.
Like all of you, I never expected something like Covid-19 to come on the scene and throw a wrench into the works.
I have found this spring with my training walks, my left knee is feeling kind of done by 7 to 10k with no back pack weight. Sports injuries and a few unfortunate motorcycle crashes over the years are starting to really show up this year big time now that I am in my sixties.
It was a down day last week when my wife advised that Expedia had given us a credit for our tickets for late September which was our departure for the Del Norte.
Still I am hopeful to get back on a Camino by next year and I continue to train every day with that goal in mind. Now doing some cycling to give my knee a break.
It helps we finally have some decent weather in northern Alberta after a particularly long winter.
This forum certainly helps keep my spirits up. Thanks to all!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
@zrexer, those of you who have dealt with injuries adds a dimension that I have not had to deal with...so far. I too, in my sixties, wonder how many more Caminos I will have left in my future. Kudos to those of you who have persevered through Injuries, ailments, and setbacks far greater than anything I have experienced thus far, yet are full of optimism!
 

OzAnnie

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
'CP, Frances,Norte,Salv/prim;Le puy, Inglés, CDM, Invierno, Fin/Mux, Vdlp 2019>Táb/ Prt Levante 2020
Hi @Camino Chrissy
We all have these downs occasionally but bounce back. You know this. You have managed to maintain a happy thread for quite sometime now and you can’t beat yourself up for dropping down.
But glad you shared your feelings. We are all one big family and it’s healthy to unload sometimes.

My recent plan for 6 weeks walking in spain was brought to a sudden halt on Friday 13th / i had only arrived on 2nd. But looking on the bright side - I did get a short walk in - luckier than some. Also I got out and home safely.
I’m hoping tomorrow is a sunny :cool: one for you!!

I might have been on the CP today if I had managed to start last Sunday. Given the time zone differences, I think I would be still sleeping, but where? Porto de Muge was my target. Did I get there? Or did I push on a bit last night? If I had stopped at Porto de Muge, would I have stayed in the delightful looking Quinta de Palmeiras or the more rustic Quinta da Burra? My budget might not have stretched to the former, but one can dream of crisp white sheets and the delights of a formal dining room, well trimmed gardens and a swimming pool.

Perhaps my budget did get the better of me, and I stayed at a rural family home, with the delights that might have also had. Views over the fields now turning green with new crops, the prospect of dinner in a warm kitchen. And perhaps something more substantial than toast, juice and coffee for breakfast, even if that means not making a really early start.

And today, I would have walked into Santarem. Right now at home it is threatening to rain, and the hills across the valley have a backdrop of clouds. I think how nice it would be to be walking with the sun warming up the day, taking advantage of the short day I had planned to get my pack off before it gets too hot, and explore, do a bit of laundry and find somewhere for dinner tonight. Would there be other pilgrims? Or is it true that the CP is remarkably quiet before reaching Porto?
I enjoyed reading Doug’s dreams. A side I haven’t seen before.

I’ve dabbled in some threads but, meh
I’ve always wondered about the meaning of the word. ‘Meh’. ??
I’d had my eye on a mid-April start, out of Almeria, but I saw the writing on the wall and never booked the flight. Sigh.
Maybe see you when the zoom is scheduled for the Mozárabe

Keep in mind that most of us put on a slightly better public front than we might feel. I have been participating in some Zoom meetings, but don't always feel I really want to be there. It is OK to log on and not say anything much, or even to stay for only 10 minutes. (In fact, I have suggested that a time limit be set for the calls, so that we don't have to come up with excuses to leave before they end.)

I was maintaining a thread on a virtual camino on the Sanabres. I had planned to post one stage per day. But then I found that it seemed like too much work, but I had an obligation. So, I slowed it down and only posted a new stage every 2 or 3 days. In fact that worked better, since other people could reply with more leisure, too.

I tend to be a project-oriented person and like to check things off a list. We all have "plans" to get certain things done "when we have time." It is rather odd to find that these days we have time, but it is hard to get motivated and started.
Love the way you’ve put this @C clearly
I understand exactly where you are coming from.
Especially- being where we aren’t sure we really want to be (at the time). I must say I usually feel better for joining in - even though my basic instinct is to be a loner (hermit).

What helps for me, are little projects -
- this is my method. I feel if I ‘chip away’ a little at a time and ‘do a few things extra’ each day ‘ - it gives me a feeling of satisfaction and I don’t feel bad about myself.

Like right now — it’s threatening rain - I’ve just called a friend and we will meet for a walk in local Botanical Gardens.
I know it will blow the cobwebs away and brighten my day.

Big smile :) and hug
Annie
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances 2005,2008,2010,2015.camino Portuguese 2007 .primativo2012.camino Norte 2009.sjpdp to finisterre and muxia 2007. Le Puy to jpdp 2006. Via francigena vercelli to Lucca 2014. Lucca to Rome 2016.
I love these words! I've thought of how extra appreciative I will be "next time"...I will never take walking the Camino for granted again!
Hi Chris,
I hope that you will feel better soon
As you say..we've all taken the Camino for granted.......and not only the Camino..so much else as well...., as in life in general....activities in general..

Book a flight and take off somewhere
Get in the car and go for a long drive
Walk straight into the supermarket without having to queue with social distancing
Meet a friend in the cafe for lunch...
And on and on

Sometimes I wake in the morning and think that what's happening is some kind of nightmare ...some kind of Twilight Zone ...anyone remember the series??

Recently a relative, who is not totally connected to the world said....
"Is this real"?
"Is this really happening"?

What could we say but yes it is

Then he turned on the TV and said
"But watching Paddington Bear makes me really happy"

Isn't he as well off not knowing what's going on??

I'm afraid that we are living in the "new normal" now but on a plus side I feel that this situation has brought out the very best in most people and all those working on the frontline ...healthcare workers, bus drivers, binmen ,supermarket workers,delivery drivers......volunteers..and so many more

Lord Now I'm depressing myself

Keep your chin up Chris and watch Kirkies video a few more times!!
Annette
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Thank you, Annette!
I somehow thought I'd hear from you!😉
Your words are so true and in spite of the negative things going on around us, there are always things to be thankful for and encouragement that we can still offer to others...something you all are doing for me today and it is helping!
 

cathietherese

Catherine Davis
Camino(s) past & future
SJPDP - Finistere May/June 2012
Le-Puy-en-Velay to Cahors/ June 2019
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.


Hello Chrissy,

This all sounds like a completely understandable response. We pilgrims love to talk on and on about the camino to our family and friends. The eventuality of some of those people actually coming with you and all the planning that goes into it would be beyond exciting for me, and the disappointment you are feeling because that is not going to happen when you intended must feel immense.

I really hope that when you do get to visit the Camino with your loved ones it will reveal, in very Camino ways riches that going when you intended to may not have done. At least, I am trying to tether myhope to this thought with varying degrees of success. I too intended to be walking more of the Way in a few short weeks. It's going to feel pretty weird when my departure date comes and goes .

There are wintery skies outside today and the days are shorter for those long walks when I like to dress in my camino clobber and channel the camino. A good friend saw me go by the other day and laughed saying you look like you stepped out of one of your camino photos. I laughed but it helps my sense of loss if I can frame these long walks as training for the next one, hopefully next summer.
Take care xo
 

Kiwi-family

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Past: (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018)-Frances, Baztan, San Salvador, Primitivo, Fisterra,VdlP, Madrid
@Camino Chrissy you already sound brighter! I was reminded today that there can be good in the bad. I was so glad to be here at home and not in Spain when my youngest cut her foot this morning and needed stitches - I’m glad it was me who could take her to the medical centre. And that made me realise I am glad I am here and not in Spain so I can care for my father-in-law and cook for him every day. I am grateful I got to take him for medical procedures and to drop him off at hospital in the middle of lockdown once he was diagnosed with hepatitis. I’m glad I was here and pushing for him to be tested - and it just occurred to me today that if there were no travel restrictions in place I would have been in a turmoil about leaving him and would have been carrying that burden if I’d gone. Crikey, I cried as I left the hospital (and I’m not the crying sort usually - although at that point we thought he had a tumour and I was aware it might have just been a final goodbye) - how hard would it have been to leave the country?
I am grateful too that I get to be home all day every day with one daughter in particular who usually chooses to spend bare minimum time at home and that has been a real treasure. I do still wonder what it would have been like to have no kid duties for two months but my eyes are seeing differently today.
 

CWBuff

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
in Planning stage: Frances (SJPdP --> SdC) & Finisterre "2021" ... (GOD WILLING!)
"I guess I am having a pity party"
Then in the "usual Camino Chrissy"fashion you should sing it's my party and I cry if I want to 😜

Daily walks and motivation:
I'm still what can be labeled "a Camino Virgin"so perhaps it is slightly different for me... but I tell you
Every time I see so much as a Mole Hill in front of me I start yelling ORISSON 😊
Hang in there! ✌😍
 

C clearly

Moderator
Staff member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016), VDLP (2017), Mozarabe (2018), Vasco/Bayona (2019)
I do have plans to start a small vegetable garden in a couple of weeks since it's my first spring home in a very long time! However, I do not have a green thumb, but envy those who do!
No no no! Green thumbs do not exist! You try planting some plants and they grow or they don't. Could depend on many things, but NOT on the colour of your thumb, or on your character! I have had many failures and many successes in the garden - I don't attribute any of them to my personal talent. :cool: ;)
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
@Camino Chrissy you already sound brighter! I was reminded today that there can be good in the bad. I was so glad to be here at home and not in Spain when my youngest cut her foot this morning and needed stitches - I’m glad it was me who could take her to the medical centre. And that made me realise I am glad I am here and not in Spain so I can care for my father-in-law and cook for him every day. I am grateful I got to take him for medical procedures and to drop him off at hospital in the middle of lockdown once he was diagnosed with hepatitis. I’m glad I was here and pushing for him to be tested - and it just occurred to me today that if there were no travel restrictions in place I would have been in a turmoil about leaving him and would have been carrying that burden if I’d gone. Crikey, I cried as I left the hospital (and I’m not the crying sort usually - although at that point we thought he had a tumour and I was aware it might have just been a final goodbye) - how hard would it have been to leave the country?
I am grateful too that I get to be home all day every day with one daughter in particular who usually chooses to spend bare minimum time at home and that has been a real treasure. I do still wonder what it would have been like to have no kid duties for two months but my eyes are seeing differently today.
@Kiwi, you definately shine brightly with your amazing attitude! Even on my best days I am not quite on par with your outlook. I do help care for my semi-disabled brother by bringing his groceries, among other things. When I go on the Camino I must make sure other siblings step up to help fill in the gap.
Yes, the more stories being shared, and the encouragement given is definately helping me feel somewhat brighter.
 
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Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
"I guess I am having a pity party"
Then in the "usual Camino Chrissy"fashion you should sing it's my party and I cry if I want to 😜

Daily walks and motivation:
I'm still what can be labeled "a Camino Virgin"so perhaps it is slightly different for me... but I tell you
Every time I see so much as a Mole Hill in front of me I start yelling ORISSON 😊
Hang in there! ✌😍
Awww, thanks @CWBuff!
I definately remember that old song, and as you know, I often let silliness rule! Thanks for adding your thoughts to the thread. Yep, I think I've made a mountain out of a mole hill, and earlier today I could have written that song myself!
 

trecile

Camino Addict
Camino(s) past & future
Francés (2016 & 2017), Norte (2018), Francés-Salvador-Norte (2019), Portuguese (2019)
My main concern having discovered the Camino in my late fifties was that my body would wear out before my desire to keep walking Camino's was sated.
I started my first Camino at age 58 - had my 59th birthday in Santiago 😊, and I've been planning on doing one Camino every year for as long as I can. I did two Caminos last year - maybe that was a jinx??!
No no no! Green thumbs do not exist! You try planting some plants and they grow or they don't.
That's sort of my gardening philosophy - only the strongest plants survive in my garden. 😄

Although I tend to depression I have somehow been okay for the last 7 weeks. I'm used to spending most of my days alone, so that's been helpful, and I have been walking a lot. I have regular walking "dates" with friends (6 ft/2 meters apart). Some days, like today I have two walking dates. In fact one day I was missing my solo walks, so I've made sure that I get out walking by myself several times a week.

I try not to think too much about my son's June wedding, which is now postponed. My postponed until ??September Camino del Norte/Primitivo, my son and his fiance living in a small 1 bedroom apartment in New York City, or my daughter who lives alone and hasn't had any physical contact with another person for over 6 weeks. I'm grateful that my 89 year old mother has good health, a comfortable home, and a partner who adores her, but I wish that I could visit her.
 
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NorthernLight

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Le Puy to Santiago via the Frances 2012-2013. EPW2015
Aragonese & Frances 2016
Burgos to Muxia 2017
Put the plants in a spot where they will get some sunshine. Water once in a while. Ignore otherwise. Harvest.

I’ve started my plants from seeds this year. It’s soothing to tend to them.
 

Kiwi-family

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Past: (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018)-Frances, Baztan, San Salvador, Primitivo, Fisterra,VdlP, Madrid
@Camino Chrissy
you are you
be you
don’t compare
neither apples with oranges
nor bananas with bananas
although we likely ARE bananas right now
be you
you are the gift to your brother
you are the gift to your walking companions
you are mostly resigned to the way things have panned out
but today you are disappointed
name it
live with it
face it
be gentle on yourself
tell yourself the truth
remember fondly
hold onto hope
 

katie@camino

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF, SJPDP-Finisterre 2016;CP (Central) Porto-SdC 2017;CP (Coastal) Porto-SdC 2018;CF Leon-SdC 2019
Hey @Camino Chrissy good on you for being honest and validating and honouring where you're at right now. I didn't pick up a hint od self-pity, you're just being real with where you're at at the moment. That's awesome, and something that most people can really vibe with and appreciate.

I think it's important to feel your feels and not move through them too quickly so, for when you're ready, I'm sharing a game-changer for me. Whenever I start to complain (i live alone, so it's just that internal voice) about 'having' to do something eg 'i have to stay inside', 'i have to clean the bathroom' etc, I change 'I have to...' to 'I get to...' and the resulting monologue shifts in tone pretty remarkably. 'I have to stay inside' becomes 'I get to stay inside because it means I'm safe etc...' Just a tiny little tweak that works wonders sometimes.

But sometimes you just feel like crap and that's ok too x
 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)
Wow, Chris - I bet you are voicing the experiences of so many people right now.
And I love your attitude.
No false sunniness.
No Pollyanna cheerfulness.
Just the truth of the way things are right now.
And yeah. It's bad on so many levels. For everyone. It's an incredibly heavy time, and if you didn't feel distressed by that I would be worried about your humanity.

And you know what? Because you had the courage to own that funk, it won't own you.
The trick is not to deny it all, but not to feed it either.
I love what @Kiwi-family just said - it's very wise.

What has worked to keep the darkness at bay for me~
Not over-focusing on negativity is key. In this, meditation is essential, and exercise is a God-send. I'm finding long walks to be a particular life-saver. I was spending too much time here on my computer, reading the news and steadily getting mentally and physically heavier - and 'older,' in terms of strength and stamina. But that's reversed after a month of focused walking. Not only am I moving more, but there's less time to pore over the bed news. There's only so much any of us can take in.

A goal is a big help, and for the first time ever, I'm listening to stuff sometimes when I walk - mostly podcasts. It's a carrot, when the motivation is low. So I'm learning things too, which adds to the positive side as well.

Hang in there, amiga! Own the heaviness. Feel it. Let it be, kindly...and then feed your light side however you can. You have lots of that, waiting to emerge when the storm passes.
 

malingerer

samarkand
Camino(s) past & future
cf (2), de la plata, cp. (2003 -2018)
You are not alone with these feelings -it makes us all feel we have lost control. We (especially pilgrims) get fulfillment from self-directed action. I sometimes feel like a deer, standing in the road waiting for a car or a hunter to take me down. Too much waiting. I don't want to be a target.

Are our lives something that happens to us - or are we the agents that make everything happen? I choose to do little things that make me feel I have control.

What helps for me, are little projects -

Plant the peas today. And put the rototiller thru the garden
Visit my sister and give her some N95 masks and my West Wing CDs and the pistachio nuts she loves.
Add two more miles, to my four mile morning walks.
Wash the winter grime on the windows and put up screens for the summer.
Clean out the garage and see if there are any antiques I can put in my booth at Elmer's Barn when it reopens.
Paint the front door purple (Its a old 1840 Federal in Maine)
Trim the back Labrador's nails and give the old girl a brushing - girls like this attention. I know cause the tail wags the whole time.

Just one good thing accomplished every day. I am vigilant in setting small goals.
Makes me feel like I am the actor on stage and I'm not watching a movie.
Also I limit my news to just about 20 minutes. Causes too much "reaction formation".

I used to do some wood carving and still have to carving tools - that's next on the list - maybe I'll make a garden stool and carve the Phoenix Rising Out of the Ashes on the seat back!

I try to stay in the moment, like I did walking the Camino.
all this activity is wearing me out :) ! Think I'll just have extry siestas Stay safe !

The Malingerer.
 
Camino(s) past & future
CF SJPdP to SdC
(May 2015)
CF Sarria to SdC
(May 2016)
CF SJPDP-SdC
(Apr/May 2018)
VdlP (2022)
I can understand how you miss the Camino @Camino Chrissy . We all do.

Thankfully I have a lot to occupy me. I'm isolated at home with Pat trying to keep my business alive, that provides a livelihood for 80+ families. I have never been so busy in my life! Pivoting, marketing, taking part in every online event I can. That's why I haven't been on here in a while.

We'll be OK.

But my point is, that I have been distracted...... As a Camino Tragic I have never been away from the Forum so long!

At times like these, we can all sit and plan our Next Camino, and join the Zoom meetings (great idea) but to an extent I think that makes the 'separation' harder.

It's probably healthier to spend more time on other interests. Just think of all this time you have now to perfect a skill, learn a new skill, join another type of online group....... Get fit, get healthy, whatever......

I haven't been past my front gate in 4 weeks. Pat is Paranoid about the Virus and won't even let me walk down the road. Not that I have the time!

Three things to raise a smile................

ONE. This is definitely me! So I'm lucky :)

95393094_1380960995438410_5910637304451432448_n.jpg

TWO

My back office staff have been in lock down in the Philippines for 4 weeks so far. and at least 2-3 more to go. Most are working from home.

But 10 of them.....As they had a long commute, decided when the lock down order came, they would live in the office! After all, it would only be a couple of weeks...... And Leo the Assistant Manager decided to move right in with them. And Yes he has a family.

They are not allowed outside the building by law. Food must be delivered to them.
We managed to rent a couple of bedrooms above the office for them.
They are safe.........and happy.
I guess it's all about perspective :)
They call it the Big Brother House :rolleyes:
I just love and admire their Spirit.....




THREE
Don't stress @Camino Chrissy . The Camino is not going anywhere........ and to quote that wonderful wartime song of Vera Lynn. Who is still alive at 103!

I don't know where..
I don't know when..
But I know we'll meet some Sunny Day!

On the way to Santiago :)
 
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laineylainey

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
started in 2012, hooked ever since.
Thanks @Camino Chrissy for the wonderful post and the equally wonderful replies. I haven't been on the forum for a few weeks. There was a posting some weeks ago about not using the word "devastated" and in my rage about the it, I realised that I too was becoming judgmental and it was time to do other things, so I unsubscribed from the weekly posting.
This morning my Camino buddy texted me to say that it has been announced somewhere in the Spanish news that the Spanish border will not reopen until October. My trip is in September and although I had already come to the conclusion that the trip wouldn't happen, I went into freefall. So I went onto the forum to see if the news could be confirmed and instead, thank God, Chrissy, I stumbled onto your wonderful post and now all of a sudden I don't feel so alone, because some of your words are mine as well.
Bless you and the others, especially @kirkie for the laugh out loud video!
 
Camino(s) past & future
CF SJPdP to SdC
(May 2015)
CF Sarria to SdC
(May 2016)
CF SJPDP-SdC
(Apr/May 2018)
VdlP (2022)
Surely it's sensible for us not to have any expectations about 'when' the Camino might reopen?

If we set expectations we are only going to be disappointed.

If anyone really has a clue as to when it might reopen they must surely have a crystal ball :rolleyes:

No one knows what lies ahead.
We just need to be patient.
It could be 6 months, 12 months, longer, who knows.

It will open...........when it opens....

And on that day, we will all be happier.

Don't 'think too much' ;)
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Wow, Chris - I bet you are voicing the experiences of so many people right now.
And I love your attitude.
No false sunniness.
No Pollyanna cheerfulness.
Just the truth of the way things are right now.
And yeah. It's bad on so many levels. For everyone. It's an incredibly heavy time, and if you didn't feel distressed by that I would be worried about your humanity.

And you know what? Because you had the courage to own that funk, it won't own you.
The trick is not to deny it all, but not to feed it either.
I love what @Kiwi-family just said - it's very wise.

What has worked to keep the darkness at bay for me~
Not over-focusing on negativity is key. In this, meditation is essential, and exercise is a God-send. I'm finding long walks to be a particular life-saver. I was spending too much time here on my computer, reading the news and steadily getting mentally and physically heavier - and 'older,' in terms of strength and stamina. But that's reversed after a month of focused walking. Not only am I moving more, but there's less time to pore over the bed news. There's only so much any of us can take in.

A goal is a big help, and for the first time ever, I'm listening to stuff sometimes when I walk - mostly podcasts. It's a carrot, when the motivation is low. So I'm learning things too, which adds to the positive side as well.

Hang in there, amiga! Own the heaviness. Feel it. Let it be, kindly...and then feed your light side however you can. You have lots of that, waiting to emerge when the storm passes.
Thank you, @VNwalking , your words are always motivating and uplifting to the hearers, and I've always loved that song so it's nice to hear it this morning!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I can understand how you miss the Camino @Camino Chrissy . We all do.

Thankfully I have a lot to occupy me. I'm isolated at home with Pat trying to keep my business alive, that provides a livelihood for 80+ families. I have never been so busy in my life! Pivoting, marketing, taking part in every online event I can. That's why I haven't been on here in a while.

We'll be OK.

But my point is, that I have been distracted...... As a Camino Tragic I have never been away from the Forum so long!

At times like these, we can all sit and plan our Next Camino, and join the Zoom meetings (great idea) but to an extent I think that makes the 'separation' harder.

It's probably healthier to spend more time on other interests. Just think of all this time you have now to perfect a skill, learn a new skill, join another type of online group....... Get fit, get healthy, whatever......

I haven't been past my front gate in 4 weeks. Pat is Paranoid about the Virus and won't even let me walk down the road. Not that I have the time!

Three things to raise a smile................

ONE. This is definitely me! So I'm lucky :)

View attachment 74166

TWO

My back office staff have been in lock down in the Philippines for 4 weeks so far. and at least 2-3 more to go. Most are working from home.

But 10 of them.....As they had a long commute, decided when the lock down order came, they would live in the office! After all, it would only be a couple of weeks...... And Leo the Assistant Manager decided to move right in with them. And Yes he has a family.

They are not allowed outside the building by law. Food must be delivered to them.
We managed to rent a couple of bedrooms above the office for them.
They are safe.........and happy.
I guess it's all about perspective :)
They call it the Big Brother House :rolleyes:
I just love and admire their Spirit.....




THREE
Don't stress @Camino Chrissy . The Camino is not going anywhere........ and to quote that wonderful wartime song of Vera Lynn. Who is still alive at 103!

I don't know where..
I don't know when..
But I know we'll meet some Sunny Day!

On the way to Santiago :)
Thank you, @Robo! It's nice to see you here on the forum again and I appreciate you sharing a snippet of your life and thoughts!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Thanks @Camino Chrissy for the wonderful post and the equally wonderful replies. I haven't been on the forum for a few weeks. There was a posting some weeks ago about not using the word "devastated" and in my rage about the it, I realised that I too was becoming judgmental and it was time to do other things, so I unsubscribed from the weekly posting.
This morning my Camino buddy texted me to say that it has been announced somewhere in the Spanish news that the Spanish border will not reopen until October. My trip is in September and although I had already come to the conclusion that the trip wouldn't happen, I went into freefall. So I went onto the forum to see if the news could be confirmed and instead, thank God, Chrissy, I stumbled onto your wonderful post and now all of a sudden I don't feel so alone, because some of your words are mine as well.
Bless you and the others, especially @kirkie for the laugh out loud video!
@laineylainey, I'm glad that my words have helped a few folks, including you! Thanks for letting me know!
 

Elle Bieling

Elle Bieling, PilgrimageTraveler
Camino(s) past & future
A total of eight in the past 6 years!
Big virtual hug to you! We are in this together. We will survive. Let's grieve together! It's OK to do so. We are all suffering a loss. The cloud will lift eventually, for sure. I hope that just having shared has made you feel better! 💞💞
 

lt56ny

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF(2012) Le Puy/CF (2015) Portugues (2017) Norte (2018) CF (2019) VDLP?
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
I think you need to eat alot of ice cream and chocolate cake until you either your funk bursts or your body. Just keep thinking of how much you still have. Buen social distancing!
 

GraemeHall

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Francés 2017/18; Portugués 2019
@Camino Chrissy, you shouldn't feel alone, even if current circumstances all conspire to do that.

@alexwalker's comment made me think about where I might have been on the CP today if I had managed to start last Sunday. Given the time zone differences, I think I would be still sleeping, but where? Porto de Muge was my target. Did I get there? Or did I push on a bit last night? If I had stopped at Porto de Muge, would I have stayed in the delightful looking Quinta de Palmeiras or the more rustic Quinta da Burra? My budget might not have stretched to the former, but one can dream of crisp white sheets and the delights of a formal dining room, well trimmed gardens and a swimming pool.

Perhaps my budget did get the better of me, and I stayed at a rural family home, with the delights that might have also had. Views over the fields now turning green with new crops, the prospect of dinner in a warm kitchen. And perhaps something more substantial than toast, juice and coffee for breakfast, even if that means not making a really early start.

And today, I would have walked into Santarem. Right now at home it is threatening to rain, and the hills across the valley have a backdrop of clouds. I think how nice it would be to be walking with the sun warming up the day, taking advantage of the short day I had planned to get my pack off before it gets too hot, and explore, do a bit of laundry and find somewhere for dinner tonight. Would there be other pilgrims? Or is it true that the CP is remarkably quiet before reaching Porto?

And I keep myself optimistic that this will all happen, just not yet. Do I speculate about when? Of course, but more to ensure that I am prepared to take advantage of getting there once the Portuguese and Spanish Governments decide the risks are manageable, and the government here lifts restrictions on overseas travel. I find that the pundits here who do speculate about whether it might be this year or next rather annoying, that discussion unhelpful, and now ignore those threads where I can. I would rather spend my energy getting ready for this pilgrimage when the opportunity arises.

Stay safe.

ps - I am watching CP videos on YouTube, and plotting the journeys in Google Maps, but I think of that as preparation! I haven't resorted to mulling over whether Tom and his companions were walking towards or away from Santiago in any particular scene of The Way. I will leave that to others for the moment :).
Quinta da Burra, definitely!!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Big virtual hug to you! We are in this together. We will survive. Let's grieve together! It's OK to do so. We are all suffering a loss. The cloud will lift eventually, for sure. I hope that just having shared has made you feel better! 💞💞
Yes, it has, Elle! Thanks for adding your positive vibes!
 

LTfit

Veteran Member
How could one not feel at times in a funk given the current world in which we live @Camino Chrissy? It's part of being human! If you didn't feel those emotions or tried to brush them off then I would start to worry!

A couple of times a week I have such a day. The first time happened about a month after the lockdown here in Spain. The first weeks I was unpacking, cleaning and organizing the albergue. Then came the painting and more organizing. One day the paint was finished and there was no means to buy new because stores are shuttered. All the work had kept me busy but then it hit me hard: I am here alone in an empty albergue which I bought 2 days before the lockdown. I certainly didn't sign up for this! So I let myself shed a few tears and called my kids who were supposed to visit me during Semana Santa for the first time. I just let it happen.

Having Zoom conversations with a group of Camino friends really helps, often more than my contact with my regular, non-Camino friends. This wonderful Forum and being a moderator of two Camino Facebook pages also are a godsend.

So it's not self-pity @Camino Chrissy, but rather you're experiencing what many, if not all of us feel from time to time. Join the club;)
 
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IngridF

Intrepid Peregrina
Camino(s) past & future
2012, 2015 ,2017, 2019
Twilight Zone (yes I remember. ..scared the heck out of me) , restless nights and wild dreams ( I only remember dreams when I am stressed) and then waking up and realizing this all is real.
Then I look outside and see the sun rising, my Spring flowers starting to bloom, the birds gathering by my feeders, baby rabbits frolicking about, squirrels chasing each other and sometimes when I am very lucky moma fox succling her babies. All this tells me Life goes on, my family is healthy when so many others are not as lucky as I. I count my blessings.
I daydream Camino, keep busy with the various admin activities for Camino pages and groups, zoom a bit to connect to see the faces so dear to me.
The only thing I truly miss are hugging my children. It's been 2 months now and it will be many more.
So before I go down the rabbit hole....
Light and Love to you all ULTREIA!
 

Terry Callery

Chi Walker
Camino(s) past & future
"Portuguese Camino - In Search of the Infinite Moment" Amazon/Kindle books authored
"Slow Camino"
Great advise, Terry, I appreciate your input. You are doing the right things...a bit at a time and it is then not so overwhelming. I do have plans to start a small vegetable garden in a couple of weeks since it's my first spring home in a very long time! However, I do not have a green thumb, but envy those who do!
That's the thing about loneliness, it come to us with lies. You are not perfect, so no-one will like you. You are not brilliant, so no-one will want to engage. You are fearful, so no-one wants the drama. You have doubts, and I demand certainty.

True companionship realizes that we all are living between the realms of the fixed and the broken.

We are our worst critics. we put ourselves in our own prisons, even before the pandemic.

The plants don't care that you "don't have a green thumb"
Their survival and abundance is outside your control.
They will thrive, if you make the first step, and give them a chance.
Just launch the boat. The wind and the tide will take your ship home.
Allow the rain, the sun and the soil to contribute.
Planting is like having children - You can only start, you can not finish.

And he said:
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come trough you, but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies, but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.


Seriously, just stick the plants and the seeds in fertile ground and do a bit of weeding. A power greater than yourself will take control and provide. And it will make you glad that you did.
 
Last edited:

evanscl

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Oct 2016
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
I dont know you except for your forum posts but want to respond to the cry of your soul because it took courage to post. Its completely understandable to have such days as you are having. As my best friend and I tell each other when sharing our downsides: “well, we are only practically perfect” which is of course our humourous reference to Mary Poppins - practically perfect in every way. Who would want to be perfect, how boring that would be. It is the light and shade that makes life interesting and varied.
We should have been arriving in Seville today so I have been thinking of that but console myself that there will be another time, and maybe even a completely different walk. I have read Wild, about the pacific crest trail, whilst in lockdown and that has got me considering other walks. We never know what the outcome of missing something may be, this hiatus could allow us time to open up our eyes to other possibilities we hadn’t even thought about. I think other replies about setting small daily goals are right, it helps a sense of achievement, progress and gives structure. I try and keep a bit of a diary just about small stuff - weather, what i am reading, how i feel, what i have done. I do yoga most mornings and monday to friday do a joe wicks p.e session on you tube - its meant for kids but he is enthusiastic, motivational and fun and does daily ‘spot the difference’ and now a quiz as well, plus fancy dress fridays. Its childish fun but its good to have time off from being a boring anxiety ridden adult and you definetly feel better after, though i cant physically do exactly what he does but i have noticed small improvements which cheers me no end. And i dont always get the quiz answers right!!
Growing things from seed has been enormously satisfying too, something i havent done in years. Its great watching them come up and develop - like fast track parenting but without the hard work and answering back. And its true, you dont need special skills, just Soil/compost.
As Gandalf says in LOTR we have to choose what to do with the time that is given us. Many of us now have unexpected time to use differently than we might have wished but I am sure when this sadness you feel has passed, and it will, you will find many positives in your personal resource kit, or you could say, in your personal backpack. Its amazing what you can find in there that weighs nothing but is incredibly useful.
This poem I will add is on uk tv frequently as a kind of BBC advert, but I find it strangely comforting. Keep going camino chrissy, you have all you need within you
Don’t You Quit by
John Greenleaf Whittier​
1588254886080.pngNext​
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.



 

VNwalking

Wandering in big circles
Camino(s) past & future
Francés ('14/'15)
San Olav/CF ('16)
Baztanés/CF ('17)
Ingles ('18)
Vasco/CF/Invierno ('19)
Oh, and Chris?
One guaranteed Chaser of Shadows: do you have any popcorn in the house? Make a huge pot of popcorn, season it however you like, and eat it all yourself. It's kind of hard not to smile after that, and it takes no skill at all.😇
(I'm only sort of joking— it actually does work!)
 

easygoing

Camino Sharon
Camino(s) past & future
I have walked the Camino Francis 7 times, twice in 2017 and 2018. (2019)
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
Hola Chrissy, I felt the same way you did just two weeks ago. We were to leave May 13th to walk the Camino Norte with a friend from Spain. And then I discovered
My husband and I are walking the Camino Frances and instead of just logging random number of steps each day, I set a goal of a certain City. Then I reseach that city and find a good place to stay the night. and I have found a few places I will definitely stay the next time we are allowed to walk the Camino. Having a goal helps me walk those extra miles.
But I understand your disappointment . I have been walking the Camino twice a year and May would have been my tenth time.
I try to make the walk as realistic as possible. We wear our camino clothes and duplicate our favorite foods on the Camino as we walk. Yesterday I was anxious to get to Logrono and did an after dinner walk in time to arrive for tapas and local wine.
The walking 4fun website has pictures that make you feel you have been there.
There is nothing wrong with feeling unmotivated but I just wanted to let you know that I am enjoying feeling motivated much more than sitting on the couch like I was for the last month.
This too will pass
 
Camino(s) past & future
Caminos Francais: 2002, 2012, 2019. (Future Ingles, Primitivo, Portuguese in 2021)
"Thanne longen folk to goon on pilrymagges .." Chaucer
Here we are, painting our doors, when we would much rather be walking through the door of an airplane to Spain, not leaning against our too-familiar kitchen door, shaking in tears, wearied, overwhelmed for one moment or many moments, awash to our core, our bones, with the-longing-which-cannot-be-asuaged. To shake our Osprey feathers (not that mine were ever packed that light.). Our Aprille iis almost over, that dreamed of exultant first step forward towards Santiago has been arrested, yanked to a half in mid-flight. How long o dear St James, how long?

Wnhatever has been our longest, rock-strewn, blister-pinched, mesata parched, aluburge snored, "out of coffee?!", aaargh, brought to our knees day.

These are the days after that.
 

Guy Strachan

Alba Guido
Camino(s) past & future
Frances ('13/'14), Portugues ('15), Finisterre ('16/'19); Ingles ('17); Sanabres ('18); Invierno '20
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
I would have been starting the Invierno this weekend but have put it back until next year so am also feeling a bit down but hey the Sun is shining and Spring is in the air so it’s not all bad... and only 366 days to go now until my next Camino!!
 

AndreaCT

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
2016 CF
2017 CF and Finnisterre
2019 CP and Muxia
Hi Chrissy, Thanks for posting your feelings because they are a reality of what most of us have or are probably experiencing at some time during this pandemic. Covid-19 felt like the authoritarian parent that now was controlling my life. Life stopped being fun and I felt the fear and anxiety percolating in my gut because there were so many unknowns and so many people were hurting. I'm a nurse and working became a giant stress-fest. For a couple of days I wallowed in it. I embraced it. I wore it proudly on my chest as a sign that I was ticked off and miserable. I was afraid of what I couldn't control and understand. I withdrew into myself into such a tight ball that my husband could have swept me up and out the door when he was cleaning and he wouldn't even have seen me. That mushy, grey lump that was rolling down the driveway toward the ditch could have been me and no one would have known it. And then, the optimist in me and and my faith kicked me in the rear and they said "what the hell". I had a good argument with God, got it all out of my system and I'm back. My husband swept the kitchen the other day and all I felt was gratitude because I knew that he would probably start vacuuming as well. I'm looking forward to meeting you one day in Santiago - we were so close last year!
 

Pia Valbak Schmidt

Pilgrim, DK, Caminos 2007,09,11,12,13,14.15,16,18
Camino(s) past & future
2007,2009,2011,2012,2013,2014.2015,2016,2018. Hospitalera 2012,2013,2014,2016,2017
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
Just think: Not every day is good, but there is something good in every day🍀
 

David Tallan

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (1989 and 2016), Portugues - from Porto (2018)
Camino Chrissy, I don't think you are the only one that current crisis and isolation is getting down. I think, however, your tag line "Take one step forward...then keep on walking." contains words to live by. Sometimes those words can be followed more literally, sometimes more metaphorically, walking into the future. If you just keep going eventually you will get there. If we all just keep going, eventually we will get to the point where the Camino is again open to us. It may be different in some ways. There were plenty of differences between the Camino in 1989 and 2016. but they were both equally the Camino. And whatever emerges from the current situation and is waiting for us will be, too. We've just got to get there.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I dont know you except for your forum posts but want to respond to the cry of your soul because it took courage to post. Its completely understandable to have such days as you are having. As my best friend and I tell each other when sharing our downsides: “well, we are only practically perfect” which is of course our humourous reference to Mary Poppins - practically perfect in every way. Who would want to be perfect, how boring that would be. It is the light and shade that makes life interesting and varied.
We should have been arriving in Seville today so I have been thinking of that but console myself that there will be another time, and maybe even a completely different walk. I have read Wild, about the pacific crest trail, whilst in lockdown and that has got me considering other walks. We never know what the outcome of missing something may be, this hiatus could allow us time to open up our eyes to other possibilities we hadn’t even thought about. I think other replies about setting small daily goals are right, it helps a sense of achievement, progress and gives structure. I try and keep a bit of a diary just about small stuff - weather, what i am reading, how i feel, what i have done. I do yoga most mornings and monday to friday do a joe wicks p.e session on you tube - its meant for kids but he is enthusiastic, motivational and fun and does daily ‘spot the difference’ and now a quiz as well, plus fancy dress fridays. Its childish fun but its good to have time off from being a boring anxiety ridden adult and you definetly feel better after, though i cant physically do exactly what he does but i have noticed small improvements which cheers me no end. And i dont always get the quiz answers right!!
Growing things from seed has been enormously satisfying too, something i havent done in years. Its great watching them come up and develop - like fast track parenting but without the hard work and answering back. And its true, you dont need special skills, just Soil/compost.
As Gandalf says in LOTR we have to choose what to do with the time that is given us. Many of us now have unexpected time to use differently than we might have wished but I am sure when this sadness you feel has passed, and it will, you will find many positives in your personal resource kit, or you could say, in your personal backpack. Its amazing what you can find in there that weighs nothing but is incredibly useful.
This poem I will add is on uk tv frequently as a kind of BBC advert, but I find it strangely comforting. Keep going camino chrissy, you have all you need within you
Don’t You Quit by
John Greenleaf Whittier​
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.


I loved the poem you shared, you being so upbeat, and the words of Mary Poppins..."practically perfect"!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
"Thanne longen folk to goon on pilrymagges .." Chaucer
Here we are, painting our doors, when we would much rather be walking through the door of an airplane to Spain, not leaning against our too-familiar kitchen door, shaking in tears, wearied, overwhelmed for one moment or many moments, awash to our core, our bones, with the-longing-which-cannot-be-asuaged. To shake our Osprey feathers (not that mine were ever packed that light.). Our Aprille iis almost over, that dreamed of exultant first step forward towards Santiago has been arrested, yanked to a half in mid-flight. How long o dear St James, how long?

Wnhatever has been our longest, rock-strewn, blister-pinched, mesata parched, aluburge snored, "out of coffee?!", aaargh, brought to our knees day.

These are the days after that.
@catheriam, what an amusing, clever writer you are! So glad you have shared with all of us!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I would have been starting the Invierno this weekend but have put it back until next year so am also feeling a bit down but hey the Sun is shining and Spring is in the air so it’s not all bad... and only 366 days to go now until my next Camino!!
Yes, only a few days to go...let the countdown begin!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Hi Chrissy, Thanks for posting your feelings because they are a reality of what most of us have or are probably experiencing at some time during this pandemic. Covid-19 felt like the authoritarian parent that now was controlling my life. Life stopped being fun and I felt the fear and anxiety percolating in my gut because there were so many unknowns and so many people were hurting. I'm a nurse and working became a giant stress-fest. For a couple of days I wallowed in it. I embraced it. I wore it proudly on my chest as a sign that I was ticked off and miserable. I was afraid of what I couldn't control and understand. I withdrew into myself into such a tight ball that my husband could have swept me up and out the door when he was cleaning and he wouldn't even have seen me. That mushy, grey lump that was rolling down the driveway toward the ditch could have been me and no one would have known it. And then, the optimist in me and and my faith kicked me in the rear and they said "what the hell". I had a good argument with God, got it all out of my system and I'm back. My husband swept the kitchen the other day and all I felt was gratitude because I knew that he would probably start vacuuming as well. I'm looking forward to meeting you one day in Santiago - we were so close last year!
Nice to hear your pessimism has now turned into optimism for you! It would be great to meet you, Andrea...I love meeting forum members!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Camino Chrissy, I don't think you are the only one that current crisis and isolation is getting down. I think, however, your tag line "Take one step forward...then keep on walking." contains words to live by. Sometimes those words can be followed more literally, sometimes more metaphorically, walking into the future. If you just keep going eventually you will get there. If we all just keep going, eventually we will get to the point where the Camino is again open to us. It may be different in some ways. There were plenty of differences between the Camino in 1989 and 2016. but they were both equally the Camino. And whatever emerges from the current situation and is waiting for us will be, too. We've just got to get there.
I always enjoy your posts, David, and this one ranks right up at the top with all your others!
 

tpmchugh

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2013)
Camino Frances (2015)
Camino Frances (2016)
Camino Frances (2018}
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
Was not having a great day myself with the rain and cold. Did not seem so bad while we in Ireland were having the best spring weather ever but plummet is indeed a good word. So I dug out a special jigsaw my daughter had made for me a while ago and I never got around to starting. It is of my book covers and two pics from the camino. One from 2013 and one from 2016 and here it is. What to do now its finished is a problem for tomorrow
 

Attachments

Last edited:
Camino(s) past & future
CF 2006,08,09,11,12(2),13(2),14,16(2),18(2) Aragones 11,12,VDLP 11,13,Lourdes 12,Malaga 16,Port 06
Awww Chrissy, I just saw this.
I think a lot of us absolutely understand what you're feeling.
This pandemic sucks!
I don't have anything profound to say that hasn't already been said,
except "HOORAY! YOU WOKE UP ALIVE!"
I tell myself that every morning

And I AM feeling in my heart that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Hang in there!
We will be back on the Camino soon!
Big hugs!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Was not having a great day myself with the rain and cold. Did not seem so bad while we in Ireland were having the best spring weather ever but plummet is indeed a good word. So I dug out a special jigsaw my daughter had made for me a while ago and I never got around to starting. It is off my book covers and two pics from the camino. One from 2013 and one from 2016 and here it is. What to do now its finished is a problem for tomorrow
What a lovely jigsaw puzzle, and apparently you finished it in record time! I'd still be looking for the border pieces.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Awww Chrissy, I just saw this.
I think a lot of us absolutely understand what you're feeling.
This pandemic sucks!
I don't have anything profound to say that hasn't already been said,
except "HOORAY! YOU WOKE UP ALIVE!"
I tell myself that every morning

And I AM feeling in my heart that there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Hang in there!
We will be back on the Camino soon!
Big hugs!
Annie, your words make me feel embarrassed for what I've been feeling after all you have been through yourself! I've kept up on your blog so have read and "seen"!
You are totally as brave as any person I have ever known, watched in a survival movie, or read of in a book! Thank you for passing on your upbeat words to me!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
This is not specifically Camino related, but it might still help. I know it’s comforting to me...

What a truly beautiful video, @Michelle! Yes, comforting to me, and I'm sure to anyone else who takes the time to watch and listen to the powerful words.
 

natefaith

Moderator
Staff member
Camino(s) past & future
Sarria-Santiago (2009)
León-Ponferrada (2014)
Camino Inglés (2017)
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
Some days are just rough. I've been going through a few days of being extremely irritated by the stupidest things! I finally realized that since the kids have been home, I've been surrounded by MUCH more noise, constantly, than I'm used to. The lack of quiet has bothered me more than I was aware of, or thought about. I think our bodies are all making adjustments, or reacting to changes in our environment, perhaps more than we knew. Some days feel like survival mode, and some days are just enjoyable and an "unexpected Sabbath." But I think there is some grieving to be done, especially for those members who did have Camino journeys planned and were so looking forward to being out on the trail. The Camino really is special, and offers us something that most of us don't find in our regular lives, and it's hard to replace that.

Anyway, all that to say, Hang in there, Chris! Big hugs to you. They say a 20-second hug releases all sorts of endorphins, so hope you can get a good solid hug today from someone you live with :) ❤

EDIT: I just saw you posted the OP yesterday. Hope today was better! :)
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Some days are just rough. I've been going through a few days of being extremely irritated by the stupidest things! I finally realized that since the kids have been home, I've been surrounded by MUCH more noise, constantly, than I'm used to. The lack of quiet has bothered me more than I was aware of, or thought about. I think our bodies are all making adjustments, or reacting to changes in our environment, perhaps more than we knew. Some days feel like survival mode, and some days are just enjoyable and an "unexpected Sabbath." But I think there is some grieving to be done, especially for those members who did have Camino journeys planned and were so looking forward to being out on the trail. The Camino really is special, and offers us something that most of us don't find in our regular lives, and it's hard to replace that.

Anyway, all that to say, Hang in there, Chris! Big hugs to you. They say a 20-second hug releases all sorts of endorphins, so hope you can get a good solid hug today from someone you live with :) ❤

EDIT: I just saw you posted the OP yesterday. Hope today was better! :)
Hi, Faith!
I have no young children at home nor any grandchildren. I am sure that is certainly a whole new set of joys for you, and a tad of frustration at times. I enjoyed meeting you last May at your beautiful facility, the "Pilgrim House" and look forward to the next time I stop in to say a warm "hello" again!
 
Last edited:

C clearly

Moderator
Staff member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016), VDLP (2017), Mozarabe (2018), Vasco/Bayona (2019)
I was very disappointed, not "devastated"
There was a posting some weeks ago about not using the word "devastated"
I hope not to re-activate the sensitivity about this post, but I was one of those who thought the word was overused. However, in retrospect, I must admit that it is very appropriate. I didn't appreciate or understand it at the time. I'm sorry for my contribution to that debate.

I'm glad to see you back, @laineylainey!
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I hope not to re-activate the sensitivity about this post, but I was one of those who thought the word was overused. However, in retrospect, I must admit that it is very appropriate. I didn't appreciate or understand it at the time. I'm sorry for my contribution to that debate.

I'm glad to see you back, @laineylainey!
Well, we are all different. Mine was said "tongue in cheek", @C clearly, on my thread here. I did feel devastated, but from my own loss, not in comparison to those with the virus or loss of income due to the virus.
 

lindam

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances, VDLP, Invierno, Portuguese, Madrid, Ingles, Fisterra, Muxia, Catalan/Aragones/Loyola Norte
I still walk three miles most days on my local trail...

Thanks for listening.
I must confess that I am envious of even your three mile daily walk! Here in Barcelona we are now on day 47 of the lockdown and I am now feeling like a caged animal. Other than the rare walk to the pharmacy or around the corner to the supermarket, I have not had a walk for a long while as it goes against the current restrictions (unless you happen to be a dog owner). It has been a challenge for sure! There is some talk of easing the restrictions in the coming days and allowing people to go out for a walk, within 1 km of where they live. Being used to walking an average of 25 to 30 km per day while on the Camino, walking 1 km simply will not satisfy my yearning. However, it will be an improvement over no outdoor walking.

I try to remain grateful that I have my health, a place to sleep, plenty of nutritious food and my beloved husband. In addition, being retired, I am thankful that I am not one of the many, many people who have now lost their jobs or are likely to do so once the current restrictions are eased.

Gone are the carefree days of walking the Camino. With all that has happened, I am unsure wether there will again come a time when it will be possible to again capture the joy of walking these wonderful routes. If/when this opportunity presents itself again, you can be sure that I will be one of the first to be out there walking.

I have been cheered to read the many positive replies to the original post. It has been good for me to take note of how others maintain their happiness (and sanity) during these trying times. Thank you to all!
 

JohnMcM

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Some, and with luck, some more.
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
Never, ever forget that as long as we are here, you are heard, understood and listened too.

Like you, many of us are sad.

Unlike you, many of us may not be as strong as you to say it.

You may not at this moment understand the strength and goodness your post carries to others.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I must confess that I am envious of even your three mile daily walk! Here in Barcelona we are now on day 47 of the lockdown and I am now feeling like a caged animal. Other than the rare walk to the pharmacy or around the corner to the supermarket, I have not had a walk for a long while as it goes against the current restrictions (unless you happen to be a dog owner). It has been a challenge for sure! There is some talk of easing the restrictions in the coming days and allowing people to go out for a walk, within 1 km of where they live. Being used to walking an average of 25 to 30 km per day while on the Camino, walking 1 km simply will not satisfy my yearning. However, it will be an improvement over no outdoor walking.

I try to remain grateful that I have my health, a place to sleep, plenty of nutritious food and my beloved husband. In addition, being retired, I am thankful that I am not one of the many, many people who have now lost their jobs or are likely to do so once the current restrictions are eased.

Gone are the carefree days of walking the Camino. With all that has happened, I am unsure wether there will again come a time when it will be possible to again capture the joy of walking these wonderful routes. If/when this opportunity presents itself again, you can be sure that I will be one of the first to be out there walking.

I have been cheered to read the many positive replies to the original post. It has been good for me to take note of how others maintain their happiness (and sanity) during these trying times. Thank you to all!
Thank you for sharing how life is for you during this lockdown phase in Barcelona, your gratefulness for what you still have, and your hope for the future. I am glad you are being encouraged by all the lovely responses just as I have been. I appreciate the time forum members have taken to share their hearts in the many replies offered.
 
Last edited:

SenorJacques

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Francés (May-June 2020)
@Camino Chrissy - It's a rainy day here where I am too, and I was supposed to be leaving for my first Camino tomorrow. I spent a very sad hour this morning deleting calender reminders for the next eight weeks, and although I've optimistically rescheduled a few advance bookings I'd made for late September and October I'm still wondering when and if what I've been so looking forward to for so long is going to happen.

Finding your very brave post on here and all these wonderful reponses has brightened my day considerably, and given me a renewed hope that my walk will indeed happen someday. Thank you - and thanks to everyone here - for the much-needed perspective, encouragement, and humor. It's good to know that we are all in this together.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Thank you, @Senor Jacques, for adding your comment to this thread...short and sweet, but conveys so much. I feel your disappointment as it mirrors my own. I had no idea this thread would take off as it has and am thankful it has lifted the spirits of so many others beyond my own self.
 

Kiwi-family

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Past: (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018)-Frances, Baztan, San Salvador, Primitivo, Fisterra,VdlP, Madrid
Oh, and Chris?
One guaranteed Chaser of Shadows: do you have any popcorn in the house? Make a huge pot of popcorn, season it however you like, and eat it all yourself. It's kind of hard not to smile after that, and it takes no skill at all.😇
(I'm only sort of joking— it actually does work!)
Warning - don’t believe everything @VNwalking says <big wink>
It was making popcorn - “that takes no skill at all” - that provided us the excitement of a fire in our kitchen! That would certainly take your mind off other disappointments, but I don’t recommend it.
 

Walking Lover

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CdS from Leon to Santiago, June 16, 2016 to June 30, 2016.
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
You have lots of company. This would have been out 5th consecutive one.
 
Camino(s) past & future
May 2020(postponed due Covid till first opportunity)
Was to start today a long planned first Camino, and from the tsunami of wonderful comments which has lifted the spirits to your brave words felt by so many, I just keep thinking the Camino is still there and pray that we all stay safe and well and soon to be on it.
 

Albertagirl

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (2015); Aragones-Frances (2016); VdlP-Sanabres (2017); Madrid-Frances-Invierno (2019)Levante
I am changing with this period of solitude. As an introvert, being alone is often as much a relief as anything. But now I am too busy, and too irritable. I am learning new things, because I have to. But I don't have to like it. When things go wrong, I try hard for a long time to sort them out. I spent most of the day today installing new hardware for my computer, because the company that sold it to me would only let their technician sit in the car and advise me over the telephone how to set it up. This is not my thing. But I was not depressed at the hours of hopeless muddling. Mostly, I was annoyed, irritated, and finally ready to explode. But I did finally get it done, more or less. I actually had to give up on completing the task to perfection. I tend to lose my temper these days, and recover it only slowly. But I don't get depressed. just mad at the world. I blush to admit it, but I rather like the change. and I do still try to be kind, when I cool down.
 

OzAnnie

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
'CP, Frances,Norte,Salv/prim;Le puy, Inglés, CDM, Invierno, Fin/Mux, Vdlp 2019>Táb/ Prt Levante 2020
I am changing with this period of solitude. As an introvert, being alone is often as much a relief as anything. But now I am too busy, and too irritable. I am learning new things, because I have to. But I don't have to like it. When things go wrong, I try hard for a long time to sort them out. I spent most of the day today installing new hardware for my computer, because the company that sold it to me would only let their technician sit in the car and advise me over the telephone how to set it up. This is not my thing. But I was not depressed at the hours of hopeless muddling. Mostly, I was annoyed, irritated, and finally ready to explode. But I did finally get it done, more or less. I actually had to give up on completing the task to perfection. I tend to lose my temper these days, and recover it only slowly. But I don't get depressed. just mad at the world. I blush to admit it, but I rather like the change. and I do still try to be kind, when I cool down.
Hi @Albertagirl
Thanks for sharing. It makes us realise we ‘all’ have highs and lows.

This covid19 period would test the patience of a saint.

Hang on
Annie
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Was to start today a long planned first Camino, and from the tsunami of wonderful comments which has lifted the spirits to your brave words felt by so many, I just keep thinking the Camino is still there and pray that we all stay safe and well and soon to be on it.
I am disappointed for each and every poster on this thread for the Caminos postponed this year. I especially feel for those of you who have had to give up (for now) the dream of walking your very first Camino with the anticipation and allure of a new experience that was waiting to unfold.
 
Last edited:

AJGuillaume

Pèlerin du monde
Camino(s) past & future
Via Gebennensis (2018)
Via Podiensis (2018)
Voie Nive Bidassoa (2018)
Camino Del Norte (2018)
@Camino Chrissy , what can I add to all the beautiful messages you have received from the family members of this forum?
All I want to do is send you vibes of hope. Cheer up, keep smiling, there are so many people here sending you their love.
With my wife, we go through old photos of our 2018 long walk, one day at a time, and that keeps the dream alive. Together with planning for 2021, which, I am sure, will be a fabulous Camino year for you!
 

Sue127

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
French Camino in 2020
I have enjoyed reading this thread and thank all for your insight and thoughts. Although an optimist by nature, I was really disappointed not to be starting my first Camino in 25 days time. The lockdown in France has been quite strict so more time at home has given time to the veggie patch, that often suffers. Online singing, family meetups, virtual coffee mornings. I'm still sad that I can't go in four weeks, but I know the Camino will be ready and waiting and I am so looking forward to bumping into some of you lovely people. You have shared practical information and personal thoughts and although I haven't met any of you in person, I am looking forward to the time that I can.
These are the words of a short song that I learnt online yesterday; I think it sums up our situation and tells us that it is because of the dark (or the darker times) we can see the stars (the future is waiting for us) - my interpretations :):

A Brighter Morning

Penny Stone 2020 Words are taken from a speech by Oprah Winfrey, speaking at the Golden Globes, January 2018: and from Martin Luther King Jr., from his last speech, 3 April 1968, in Memphis, Tennessee.

Even during our darkest night
We must have hope for a brighter morning.

We must have hope. We must have hope
We must have hope, we must have hope for a brighter morning.

Only when it is dark enough can we see the stars.

And .... I'm learning Spanish. Buenos dïas
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Thank you, AJ and @Sue127 for adding your sentiments to the others. Each and every one has been so very special!
 

Paladina

old woman of the roads
Camino(s) past & future
CF, primitivo & del norte (2017); VdlP/Sanabres, ingles etc (2018), Mozarabe etc (2019), tbc (2020)
One guaranteed Chaser of Shadows: do you have any popcorn in the house? Make a huge pot of popcorn, season it however you like, and eat it all yourself. It's kind of hard not to smile after that
You've just reminded me of one of the things I am not missing in lockdown: sitting beside someone in the cinema who is chomping her way through a bucket of malodorous popcorn. It's stomach-turning!
 

aussie62

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
planning to walk 2017
Hello all,
I'm not having a very good day. It is 45°F, extremely windy and raining on and off so I've been cooped up inside, which has not helped my mood.

I was very disappointed, not "devastated", (oh no, not me), when my Spring camino to leave on April 19th was canceled. I'd been gone from home every spring for five years straight on these most special adventures in my retirement and they have each been the highlight of that particular year, surpassing all other planned vacations.

This time I was bringing two newbie family members and had everything planned out ahead of time. At first, I tried to accept this loss, but now I am starting to plummet. I feel sad, in a funk, flat, and unmotivated. Heck, I'm supposed to be nearly ten days into my walk in Spain as I type this. I still walk three miles most days on my local trail, but have no desire to increase the distance like I usually did with enthusiasm during the month before I was set to depart.

I have a really good, easy life at home and I do not live alone, but I miss getting together with my girlfriends for lunch out or to exercise with them. I'm sure all this self isolation is contributing to my melancholy feelings.

I want to say that I truly admire those of you who are participating on the varying threads by walking virtual caminos, zoom meetings, and even researching obscure locations in the movie "The Way". I wish I were enthused in the same way as many of you are, but I am not.

I guess I'm having a pity party today and feeling kind of "lost", and yes, I know I am acting spoiled and have a selfish outlook... maybe tomorrow will be better.

I do not usually share a depressed side of who I am, especially on a public forum, but oh well, today I am and you are my Camino family. Thankfully I am not normally given to despair like this. I hope my camino walking days will not be permanently over. I know there are others who most likely share some similar feelings, so know I am not the only one...we all are feeling some loss of varying degrees.

Thanks for listening.
yes i am hearing you and normally i myself are pretty kind by nature but to you i say " get your s.. together " you are FREE happy and on a holiday that has not gone as planned ... soooooo pull up your pretty boot straps as you have done your whole life and GET IT TOGETHER .... there is a message there . go find it xx alll the best Georgina Sydney Austr bein camino
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
yes i am hearing you and normally i myself are pretty kind by nature but to you i say " get your s.. together " you are FREE happy and on a holiday that has not gone as planned ... soooooo pull up your pretty boot straps as you have done your whole life and GET IT TOGETHER .... there is a message there . go find it xx alll the best Georgina Sydney Austr bein camino
I hear you loud and clear...your words are as true as mine are. That said, we are all different and do not necessarily process our joys or weaknesses in the same way. I appreciate your input.
I am doing better as a result of the many encouraging and uplifting posts I have received.
 

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