Lessons to be learned from 'Little John'

[sillydoll]

A few years ago I posted information about my friend 'Little John' who was a Camino and Via Francigena pilgrimage veteran.

John has walked umpteen Caminos including from Faro to Lisbon and north on the Caminho Portugues: from Geneva, Le Puy, Arles: from Lourdes and the Aragones, Madrid, VdlPata, San Salvador, Primitivo, Norte, Ingles, Camino Frances (7 times) to Fisterra 10 times and to Muxia 8 times. [He climbed Machu Picu in 2012, Annapurna Circuit in 2010 and completed many strenuous local long distance hikes)

The amazing thing is that John only started doing these walks in 2001 when he was 68 years old. So Nepal was at age 77 and Machu when he was 79. Two years ago, at age 80, he earned his Blue Number for running the Two Oceans half-marathon in Cape Town, South Africa 10 times.

Last year in August he decided to walk from Burgos to Fisterra and then visit his family in Liverpool for 10 days. He was tired. He got lost a few times. He forgot to print his boarding pass for a Ryan Air flight. When he got to Liverpool his family were concerned about his lack of appetite. He was weepy and cried when he left to fly back to Durban. When we met him at the airport he was confused and didn't know what country he had landed in.

John was diagnosed with progressive dementia. He is now in a nursing home. He can't remember his Caminos but listens enthralled when I tell him about them. The next day he doesn't remember what I told him. This dreadful disease is slowly stealing his whole life from him. It is tragic that he never wrote down anything about his many walks and adventures because they will be lost forever as the dementia progresses.

So - dear pilgrims - before it is too late, write about your walks and adventures. Keep a blog or journal so that your children and grandchildren can read about them one day and they can keep the memory of them alive.

 

[petro]

That is so sad! Definitely something to consider.

 

[Al the optimist]

So sad Silvia. I feel for you all. Such a terrible affliction. As a family we are suffering with a cousin who has had a brain haemorrhage and cannot recognise people or fend for herself so I have some empathy. Hope the rest of his days are as good as they can be. Your care and attention is obviously welcome so bless you for enduring the hurt and helping make some moments worthwhile for him. I will remember him in my prayers tonight.

 

[t2andreo]

One of the reasons I walk annually, and try to participate as much as I possibly can NOW, is that eventually, one day, I too, shall be lying in a bed, staring at a ceiling, waiting for who knows what.

When that day eventually comes (and it comes to us all), I want to have a mindful of good Camino related memories, friendships, and feelings. I feel it will help me face the future.

I am sorrowful about John's loss of memory, but thrilled that he reacts when others relate Camino stories to him. That is also why I save all my digital photos and short video snippets I capture along my Caminos. One day, a care giver can (hopefully) show them to me if I cannot access them myself.

The Camino affects us all on so many levels. John's story is an exhortation to me to seize the day and do Camino now, while I am able, so I can benefit from this history in future.

Does this make sense to anyone else but me?

 

[jirit]

Here is the link to sillydoll's previous post about Little John (John Joyce)

https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/john-joyces-long-journey.158/

 

[MileHighPair]

Thank you Silvia - this is such a touching story. I am so sad for John's current state, but joyful for the life he lived as you have described. It also gives me energy for keeping a journal and blog, two things that I sometimes enjoy and sometimes struggle with. Prayers for John, his family, and his friends.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Dear friends of the Camino Forum:

Many of us are older people on here, and I say that a bit guiltily as a young girl of 56 (and a half!). This story is so moving on so many levels, and I have the utmost respect for those of you who plan and plan and write and get on cheap (and sometimes expensive) flights to get to your start point, remember all the details, and go on pilgrimages. It is healthy, it exercises the mind and body, and it gives us all something to look forward to.

For me, the Camino de Santiago was a lifesaver. I imagine for many of you, it is a spiritually healthy and a physically healthy way to keep on a truckin', as Guthrie would have said.

I am in awe of John's travels, and terribly said for his decline, but exceptionally proud of and glad for @sillydoll for documenting his travels for him, for keeping his best efforts and amazing accomplishments alive.

Nor can we miss her reminder to us to CARPE DIEM---to seize the day, the rainy day, the windy day, the sunny day. We are blessed when we can seize it with strong hands and strong mind. Neither of those are a given.

 

[mspath]

"...and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

Ulysses, by Alfred,Lord Tennyson

 

[jmcarp]

My wife and I walked with John off and on for the first few days of our Camino Francés in 2013, until sometime after the Alto de Perdón when he left us in his dust -- he was 80 yrs old and we were 11 and 12 years his junior at the time. He truly inspired us, and it makes me feel so sad to hear that he is failing physically and mentally. Our prayers are with him, his family, and his loved ones.

Jim & Jeanette

 

[zzotte]

So sad, you see its never too late to start anything new.

zzotte

 

[crackmrmac]

He can't remember his Caminos but listens enthralled when I tell him about them.

Thank you for this thread Sil. I can picture you in company with your friend. I know it's special for you. May you both enjoy more tender moments together.

 

[Walli Walker]

Thankyou, Sil, for a timely reminder. Note taken. Jacki. XXX

 

[LisaAnn]

Thank you for sharing. So sad what dementia does to loved ones. Happy he has you to bring him the joy of his travels. It motivates me to continue in my travels and to make more of an effort to document what I've done an seen. Thank you!

 

[Sole To Soul]

Thank you for these pearls of wisdom regarding the exuberance, passion and determination of such a special man. I, like others here, was quite saddened and moved by reading how things have changed for John. I work for the Alzheimer Society. I understand quite well the course that dementia often takes. He is very fortunate to have you, and perhaps others, to "be his memory" for him.

Continue to tell him his stories even though he forgets the next day, or even the next hour. In the moment he enjoys it!

Bring out any momentos/treasures/credentials (even tacky souvenirs, lol!) he picked up from his many caminos. Talk about them as much as he is able. Where might they be from? What might have been the significance of him picking them up?

Photos, I suspect he has a few! Continue to go through some together. Even if he is just looking, they will still spark some memories for him.

Shells and yellow arrows are likely forever engrained in our memories, even with dementia!

He might be able to still talk about many of these things. Or you can. Take note of his body language how he brightens up.

Play some Spanish music. What were some of his favourite dishes/drinks along the caminos? You can still connect with him on different levels. Yes some days may be better than others. Keep trying.

Record your visits (audio or video). Make a video of many visits. Transcribe the stories. Capture the sparkles, the laughter while you can. Sylvia, you and others have been doing some of these already. I read some of the previous accounts. Good for you!

He's still there. We just have to be creative in how we tap into what's still there. Yes, we can grieve for what he is losing, but let's also cheer for the incredible role model he's been to so many.

Even though John didn't write of his adventures and his memories are fading doesn't mean that others can't recount and document for him so that indeed they are preserved for generations to follow. What a special gift to provide a dear friend. <3

 

[JMac56]

John was diagnosed with progressive dementia. He is now in a nursing home. He can't remember his Caminos but listens enthralled when I tell him about them.

So sorry to hear of your friend's decline. My dear Mother was drifting into dementia before she passed away last August. We found that playing her favourite music stimulated her memory, particularly of earlier events in her life, and led to more animated conversations, if only briefly. Recent clinical research here in Australia supports this observation. It might be worth trying this with John to help him recall his own adventures, or at least gain more enjoyment from your recounting of them. As for me, I'm with CaminoDebrita on the 'Carpe Diem" approach - I depart for Paris on March 22 and will head for SJPdP around April 1. Buen Camino.

 

[jmcarp]

...
John was diagnosed with progressive dementia. He is now in a nursing home. He can't remember his Caminos but listens enthralled when I tell him about them. The next day he doesn't remember what I told him...

Sil,
I think what you're doing to keep John's memories of the Camino(s) alive, even for a fleeting moment, is a wonderful gift. I know he touched many of us with his own story as we walked with him or shared a meal or perhaps a cerveza with him along the way. I'd like to suggest that those of us who had the pleasure of knowing him send along a photo to remind him of his many friends. Perhaps you could copy these photos into a smart phone or tablet, or if nothing else, copy them to a thumb drive and print them to show him. I'd also suggest that anyone who sends a photo also include their name, where they're from, and the date of the Camino where they met John. I'll get it started with a photo of my wife and I -- Jim and Jeanette, from Colorado, USA. We met John in Orisson in August, 2013 and continued to meet him along the Camino for several days thereafter. Ultreia, John, as you continue on your journey.

Jim

 

[sillydoll]

Sil,
I think what you're doing to keep John's memories of the Camino(s) alive, even for a fleeting moment, is a wonderful gift. I know he touched many of us with his own story as we walked with him or shared a meal or perhaps a cerveza with him along the way. I'd like to suggest that those of us who had the pleasure of knowing him send along a photo to remind him of his many friends. Perhaps you could copy these photos into a smart phone or tablet, or if nothing else, copy them to a thumb drive and print them to show him. I'd also suggest that anyone who sends a photo also include their name, where they're from, and the date of the Camino where they met John. I'll get it started with a photo of my wife and I -- Jim and Jeanette, from Colorado, USA. We met John in Orisson in August, 2013 and continued to meet him along the Camino for several days thereafter. Ultreia, John, as you continue on your journey.

Jim
View attachment 24557

Our dear friend and fellow peregrino, passed away at 08h45 (South Africa time) this morning after a short spell in the hospital. John was admitted to hospital on Saturday morning. On Sunday night he was given the anointing of the sick. A Requiem Mass will be held for him on Thursday afternoon at the Holy Trinity Church in Durban.

 

[mspath]

Sil,
I am so very sorry to learn of John's passing earlier today.
May he be in peace and may your memories of him bring you comfort in the days ahead.

Margaret Meredith

 

[Tincatinker]

Buen camino Pilgrim.

 

[jmcarp]

Our dear friend and fellow peregrino, passed away at 08h45 (South Africa time) this morning after a short spell in the hospital. John was admitted to hospital on Saturday morning. On Sunday night he was given the anointing of the sick. A Requiem Mass will be held for him on Thursday afternoon at the Holy Trinity Church in Durban.

What sad news. May his soul rest in peace with the faithful departed.
Jim

 

[sillydoll]

John had a good send-off for his final pilgrimage.
A Requiem mass was held for John in the Holy Trinity Church in Durban on Thursday.
A number of masses were held in Liverpool at the same time and candles were lit in the Catholic Cathedral.
Johnny Walker let me know that a mass was held for him in Santiago as well. John would love that!
What on earth should we do with 12 Compostelas, 10 Fisteranas, 8 Muxia certificates and a Testimonium from Rome?