LIVE from the Camino Losing motivation after believing you can finish

[hawkeyepierce]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

 

[dbier]

You are now experiencing the mental challenge of the Camino...it looks different for every person, but it's there. For those of us who come to the Camino with a spiritual/ religious bent, we tend to experience three challenges, with the spiritual challenge generally coming last.

Youve been through the physical, and congratulations on your accomplishments! Don't dismiss them so quickly.

How you conquer your mental challenge is not something I can advise on, since we are different people. But one step at a time is a good way to approach the challenge.

Another is to revisit your *why.* Why did you come? There are easier ways to lose weight.

A third is to step back and observe "from the balcony." You're being challenged/ tempted to quit. What set of bad habits/thoughts wins if you do? Who benefits if you quit? Conversely, what new you, what new habits, benefit when you finish?

Buen Camino, and Ultreiya!

 

[trecile]

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

And that's the best that you can do!
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It's so hard for any of us to know what others are going through.

 

[sugargypsy]

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Oh yes! That happened to me in 2019 too. I also wrote about my dilemma here. I got a lot of responses, which helped me a lot at that time. If you want to, you can read all about it here .

 

[Kathy F.]

Perhaps the challenge of loneliness is the culprit here? Walking such a long distance without "moral support" is a difficult thing to do. When I train for the Camino, the hardest part of my training isn't the physical but the mental - hours and hours with no one to talk to but the voices in my head! LOL!!

Don't be discouraged. You have done, and are doing, everything right. You have made more friends than you realize on your journey. And almost everyone here on this forum is definitely with you in spirit!! Tomorrow's adventures will be more wonderful than you can imagine. You are accomplishing something very few people can even consider doing, and you are doing it with style!!

BTW, I felt somewhat sad as I neared Santiago. Eventually, I realized that I was sorry my adventure was ending.

Then I realized I could do it again, and did, 2 years later!

Ultreia (if you don't know what that means, look it up)!

 

[Richmond Gardner]

You are about to approach another change in scenery and enter Galicia, after Villafranca Del Bierzo. The rain may fall, the diet will vary and it’s a very different world.
I hope you will be renewed as momentum for the finish builds ( and if not, you can just hum a little tune- like “put one foot in front of the other“

 

[henrythedog]

There’s a decent range of wine to be found in the Bierzo.

Whilst I look back (and forwards - I’m a Gemini) to many ventures on the caminos; I’ll confess that I’ve had the odd day of ‘remind me why I’m doing this?’.

It’ll pass. Santiago’s well worth the visit and arriving on foot is the only way, really.

Congratulations on the weight loss! You’re virtually carrying your pack for free now.

 

[dougfitz]

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Yes, although for slightly different reasons. I injured my knee just before San Anton on the way to Castrojeriz. I was that despondent that if there had been an airport there, I would have flown home.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

This worked for me. I focussed on what I needed to do each day, rather than thinking about the challenge of walking on my bung knee all the way to Santiago. My knee gradually grew less painful, although it has bugged me ever since, and after perhaps a week, I knew that I would make it.

I do think it is also worth contacting your support network, which might include this forum. I was able to talk to another Australian who was walking similar stages, and who had been staying in many of the same towns from SJPP to Burgos. He was a great support during this difficult time for me. I decided not to contact my wife about how despondent I had become until I had started to feel better about continuing.

Edit:
ps that was on my first pilgrimage walk. Earlier this year I completed my tenth pilgrimage, and in just over a week I will be walking the Camino Salvado here in Australia.
pps and in October, I am scheduled to have surgery to replace that bung knee. It has been bone-on-bone for the last two pilgrimages, and while the surgeon is happy for me to do another long walk - he knows he won't stop me anyhow - he has agreed that the best option is knee replacement.

 

[m108]

Hello @hawkeyepierce. I understand you and I wish you that tomorrow will bring new motivation. "I'm autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while". I understand that very well too. On the Camino, for the first time I had the courage to openly say "that I am in silence" when I wanted to be alone (and that was most of the time on the Camino ) . And it was always well received. If you don't feel new motivation tomorrow, maybe just start walking, without expectations. And if you really resist continuing the journey - end the journey. Listen to yourself. This is your way. But I sincerely hope that a new day will bring new joy

 

[Former member 59618]

Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Same here. I almost quit in Sarria 3 years ago. I had been walking from Le Puy, France and I was DONE with all things Camino. I was sick of the communal sleeping, backpacks stinking up the room at 2am (because there's always that one pilgrim who demands all windows be shut), sick of walking, sick of myself. You name it.

My body quit in Sarria and I stayed for 5 stayed, recovering and doing a lot of thinking. Then, of course, I did what I always knew I would do: on the 5th morning, I got up, refreshed, put on my backpack and made tracks for Santiago.

Buen Camino!

 

[hawkeyepierce]

Thank you all for your words of experience, wisdom and encouragement. You’ve given me much to ponder while walking tomorrow.

 

[Tincatinker]

Yes, although for slightly different reasons. I injured my knee just before San Anton on the way to Castrojeriz. I was that despondent that if there had been an airport there, I would have flown home.


This worked for me. I focussed on what I needed to do each day, rather than thinking about the challenge of walking on my bung knee all the way to Santiago. My knee gradually grew less painful, although it has bugged me ever since, and after perhaps a week, I knew that I would make it.

I do think it is also worth contacting your support network, which might include this forum. I was able to talk to another Australian who was walking similar stages, and who had been staying in many of the same towns from SJPP to Burgos. He was a great support during this difficult time for me. I decided not to contact my wife about how despondent I had become until I had started to feel better about continuing.

Edit:
ps that was on my first pilgrimage walk. Earlier this year I completed my tenth pilgrimage, and in just over a week I will be walking the Camino Salvado here in Australia.
pps and in October, I am scheduled to have surgery to replace that bung knee. It has been bone-on-bone for the last two pilgrimages, and while the surgeon is happy for me to do another long walk - he knows he won't stop me anyhow - he has agreed that the best option is knee replacement.

Doug, there isn’t an emoji that expresses “best wishes and good luck”. So, best wishes and good luck mate…

 

[dougfitz]

Doug, there isn’t an emoji that expresses “best wishes and good luck”. So, best wishes and good luck mate…

Thank you, but it's not about me, but to give Ryan, aka @hawkeyepierce, confidence that he is not alone feeling the way he does, that what he is proposing to do has worked for others, and to make sure he knows that there will be support here on the forum should he need that. After all, the worst that could happen if he goes on is that he could become another camino tragic, like so many of us, and we will see him here for years to come helping other pilgrims.

 

[Former member 59618]

Thank you all for your words of experience, wisdom and encouragement. You’ve given me much to ponder while walking tomorrow.

Enjoy the winding valley and river walking after Villafranca Del Bierzo on your way up to O Cebreiro. It's gorgeous.

 

[Robo]

Yep, been there, done that........
But you're so close.......
And have some amazing parts ahead of you

 

[bullingtonce]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

So you are continuing, which means you really do not have a problem.
And keep to yourself, be true to yourself: You are not a slow walker; rather, you are 'your own' walker. And your friends, even though they get ahead of you, are still friends--those that are true friends at least. Celebrate your nonverbalness--use the alone and quiet time to reflect and meditate or do nothing more than take in the so-called little things of life: a leaf on the ground that captures your attention, a cloud in the distance that reminds you of something, a innocuous-looking stone that causes you to remember that life is not all about glitter and fancy, reflecting as you upon an acquaintance you have that you admire and look up to, etc. Reflecting on just being alive and part of the cosmos.
You are doing fine; I congratulate you.

 

[mario juan]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Go to the beach for a few days, have a swim, relax and eat a bit. If you return and finish then good for you, if you go home then good for you..

 

[MichelleElynHogan]

Ten days left? I never got to ten days from SJPdP before injury...because of my weight. And at that time, I was 50 lb overweight. Now, I am 100 lb overweight...thanks covid...and my still healing injuries.

Take a day or two off to recharge. You're more than half way there. I believe you can do it!!!

 

[Crosscheck]

Go Hawkeye go! I'm excited for you and slightly jealous I don't have an imminent accomplishment just days ahead. A few days after SdC you'll wish you were back in SJJP again

 

[markie6]

Keeping going will create a far better story that you will be able to look back on in time. Head down , keep on keeping on.

Ride the wave and know it;s just a trial you need to push through. Many here are pondering whether they could make it on their caminos. Push on and it will help not only you, but others reading this

 

[JCarpenter]

I'd take every alternative or "Complementary" route offered, for they are the less traveled, as long as you have the snacks and drink on board. There may be a few less cafes on them. They do not stray very far from the posted route, but are short arcs to the side of the main route. At least one of them was an older route I remembered taking a few years back. And you won't be fretting about your compadres up ahead, because you will have taken slightly different paths.

 

[Gringazolana]

Hawkeye, do it for all us chubbies! Buen camino!

 

[jpflavin1]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

One step at a time.

 

[CWBuff]

Hawkeye, do it for all us chubbies! Buen camino!

I lost 20 lbs by the time i was done....
so...motivations -

O'Cebreiro - huuuugew jamon bocadillos at the bar right across the chapel
Arzua - absolutely scrumptiously delicious cheeses
Melide - PULPOI!!!!! (grilled.... with lemon)
Galicia proper - Caldo Galicia soup. Alberquina wine,
Santiago proper - 1000 restaurants (OK maybe I am exaggerating but it sure feels like it ...and they all are hopping)

Jokes aside - I agree with folks that stated its the 'spiritual' side that now gets a grip on you. Dont give up!
PERCEVERE! Its a simple question of putting your mind back where it was in the beginning! I am sure you WILL feel great walking through the arch onto the plaza being piped in by the Scottish pipes - and you will LOVE IT!

ULTREIA indeed

 

[CWBuff]

Oh BTW if you want to challenge yourself physically "just a little more" and you are in Vega de Valcarce tomorrow - do climb up to the Saracen Castle. The views are unbelievable

 

[Rita Flower]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

On my first Camino I found that once I realised I would / could finish - around 200 km from Santiago- my brain got bored and wanted a new challenge or something new of interest to do with itself. I believe there is a place past boredom that is much more peaceful and sublime. So soon I'm trying the Via del la Plata - 1000 km. I am very curious to see how my busy brain deals with this and to discover more of what lies beyond boredom.
On the other hand you could also do some sort of audio online learning while walking to keep the boredom at bay.

 

[hawkeyepierce]

Thank you all for your kind words. I found myself far more motivated this morning walking to Villafranca del Bierzo and I’m excited to wake tomorrow and make for Las Herrarias.

 

[FourSeasons]

Unless you think you may go back and finish another time/year, then I say Don't Stop Walking Look how far you’ve come already. You can do it!!

Another song to hum is, or better yet sing it loud and get into the rhythm as you walk ...

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles To fall down at St James' door...
Ba da Ba ba Ba da Ba da


This is your time……
God Bless and Buen Camino

 

[dougfitz]

So you are continuing, which means you really do not have a problem.

What? Are you seriously suggesting this? This is certainly not my experience from similar circumstances, and I think I would have found someone denying that my pain and associated mental distress was real would have been extremely unhelpful. I found it both a mental and physical struggle each day for a week or more to keep walking. If @hawkeyepierce finds it difficult enough that he has resorted to reaching out to us here on this forum, I am happy to accept that he does have a problem.

It seems that knowing that he isn't the only one to face similar challenges has helped. Perhaps knowing how others have managed to continue under similar circumstances will help too. And perhaps knowing that what he has proposed to do has worked for others will help even more. What I don't see is how telling him he doesn't have a problem is at all helpful.

I'm glad to see he is continuing, and if we have been a small part in that by acknowledging he is having difficulty and supporting him to do that, that would be a good outcome for the forum.

Please, be kind!

 

[Former member 59618]

So you are continuing, which means you really do not have a problem.

That's a little calloused; it's not for you to decide whether or not someone has a problem. Hopefully you can amend your language.

 

[henrythedog]

What? Are you seriously suggesting this? This is certainly not my experience from similar circumstances, and I think I would have found someone denying that my pain and associated mental distress was real would have been extremely unhelpful. I found it both a mental and physical struggle each day for a week or more to keep walking. If @hawkeyepierce finds it difficult enough that he has resorted to reaching out to us here on this forum, I am happy to accept that he does have a problem.

It seems that knowing that he isn't the only one to face similar challenges has helped. Perhaps knowing how others have managed to continue under similar circumstances will help too. And perhaps knowing that what he has proposed to do has worked for others will help even more. What I don't see is how telling him he doesn't have a problem is at all helpful.

I'm glad to see he is continuing, and if we have been a small part in that by acknowledging he is having difficulty and supporting him to do that, that would be a good outcome for the forum.

Please, be kind!

Good reply Doug. I’m more impressed by those who have ‘a problem’ working to overcome it than by those who purport that someone overcoming a problem clearly didn’t have one in the first place.

On the other hand; we could save a fortune on healthcare as - following the same logic - anyone not yet dead is either in perfect health or simply malingering.

 

[WalkingLester]

I believe these times of doubt and motivational crisis are when you will discover who you are and define what this journey means to you. I believe if you persevere through this time you will find an opening to spiritual growth and transformation. I feel the best is yet to come for you on this Camino. Ultreia!

 

[lovingkindness]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? ....
Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep push forward?

Hola @hawkeyepierce

Yes!!
Sometimes I walk for many months at a time. There always comes a day when a grand refusal rises within. I listen to it. For me, it is an indication of physical and mental exhaustion. I stop walking for a few days. I eat lots, read a novel, laze about, do some music practice or something cultural. If i am a guest, I immerse myself in the household where I find myself.

I stop. I wait then set off again.

Sometimes, too, I exhaust myself and others with chattering. To put it plainly, I talk too much . So, every now and then i practice silence. I tell those arround me that I will be non-verbal for a period of time. I listen but do not reply.... I find this calming and helpful.

Buen camino, peregrino!

 

[Marbe2]

Hey @hawkeyepierce Thank you for sharing your journey, the ups and downs of it! How are you doing? Can we follow along with you as far as you decide to go! We do understand your need to be silent as well. For me, it’s about the journey, much more than the destination. I admire your self-awareness, honesty and openness.
Are you heading for Las Herrerias tomorrow? Where are you staying there? Hope you have good weather tomorrow. Let us hear from you. We are walking with you!

 

[bergmannfamily]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Hi hawkeyepierce ( I love the name, the character is one of the reasons I went into Medicine)
I recall a half dozen mornings in the last two weeks when we did our camino that I sat up in the morning and my feet would refuse to swing over the side of the bed. They adamantly were not going to touch the floor, and not a chance were they going out to walk again. My wife and I found that except for one day when we both felt 'done', we were able to help each other through those rough mornings to get up and get going. To get through those doldrums we added a rest day in Sarria, we added an extra walking day to make each of the last days a bit shorter, and we put our feet up more in the middle of the day to just feel like we were not forced to walk a set amount. Those things gave us a psychological boost.

Your autism makes the struggle a bit harder, but even though you may feel alone, you are not alone. Everyone else who started almost a month ago is feeling just like you. On the brighter side, very soon you will be joined by the influx of pilgrims at Sarria. Look at the excitement in the faces of those who are just starting, especially the school and college groups. Try to remember how good it felt to be at the beginning of your journey and try to let their youthful excitement rub off on you. The finish line is in sight!

Like many others have said, remember that we out here in the wider camino community are rooting for you. As Captain Pierce once said, "for your condition, you're in great condition!" Hang in there, my friend! Onward and upward.

Terence

 

[dick bird]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

There is a story behind this song. I hope it helps you.

 

[Lindsay53]

One step at a time Hawkeye. Buen Camino!

 

[Vancouver Rose]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

As I head off on my first Camino in less than 2 weeks, a work colleague who was heading off on holiday, wrote me today: "You're about to head off on a very special and very personal experience. Remember to love the person you are travelling with (yourself!)." For all you've accomplished, and all you have yet to accomplish, give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling, and love yourself for a job well done - even were it to end today - it's still a job well done. And when you're reading this, after having walked another day ... Good for you! And every day you choose to walk, is, in fact, a choice. Assuming I make it over the Pyrenees, I may experience some version of the very same thoughts you've been having, and will try my best to accept those feelings, and still, I hope, choose to put one foot in front of the other.

 

[VNwalking]

Good morning, @hawkeyepierce !
Your perseverance will pay off, but that bump you hit is definitely something that can happen to everyone.
There may even be people around you in the same boat, just not talking about it.

One thing to do first is to look and see if you need physical rest - are you depleted of energy? If so take rest.

If you have physical energy, but the mind is down - oof. It's not easy. What helps me is to notice the blah feeling, acknowledge it ("Thank you for sharing..."), then put the thoughts to the side and set out to walk where I intend that day ("...but we're going to _________ today."). Kindness and firmness are key.

And then a bit of a challenge can help too - but be judicious with this, knowing your limits.
You know the routine by now and the days run together. A longer day or a slightly harder alternative route can cut through the sameness. From Villafranca there is a high Pradela route that is definitely harder - it is also a lot quieter, which may give you the silence you need right now.

Leaving Villafranca del Bierzo I recommend the "high" route that goes through Pradela.

Villafranca del Bierzo - O Cebreiro | Camino Francés | Gronze.com

Es la Etapa Reina, cuyo recuerdo permanecerá indeleble al paso del tiempo, gracias a la bellísima, apasionante y temida subida a O Cebreiro, el mayor ascenso del Camino Francés en territorio español. La subida transcurre, en buena parte, por corredoiras, con un desnivel de 660 metros a lo largo...

www.gronze.com

And stop at least for lunch at Albergue Lamas in Pradela - I had delicious homemade cake and the best sandwich that I've had on the Camino with veggies from their garden.

(I would actually stop to stay at Lamas, it's a lovely place.)

And definitely honor the wish for more silence and less sense contact. Walking with a set of prayer beads or a mala can send a 'Please give me space" message that isn't confronting to others (and if you are inclined to use them, even better! )

Buen camino! The good news is that no mood lasts forever, and who knows what today will bring.

 

[mspath]

hawkeyepierce,
Now as you go on may you feel while walking the secular transcendence akin to to what runners call 'the zone' . Your body can handle the task while your spirit glows with the effort. Neither easy, nor impossible; all simply is. ...Thus, thankfully you continue.
In the truest sense Ultreia!

 

[Siegfried]

Hello from Ponferrada. I’ve got ten days left on the CF.

Only, I feel like I’m losing motivation? When I set out from SJPDP I was truly uncertain as to whether or not I was capable of walking the camino. I’m 70 pounds overweight and lead a sedentary life.

Yet here I am, hundreds of kilometers later. I made it over the Pyrenees, across the Meseta and up to Cruz de Ferro. Now, having proved to myself that I could accomplish all that, I find myself losing motivation.

The camino has gotten physically easier for me along the way and I’ve lost ten pounds so far. That’s great! But somehow besting that challenge has left me almost bored?

Has anyone else encountered this? How did you keep pushing forward?

Some of this comes from other sources I expect. I’m autistic and find some aspects of Spanish culture very trying. Sometimes I just need to be nonverbal for a while. I’m also a slow walker and my camino friends are all much further ahead of me unfortunately.

Ultimately I’m going to keep going, I know that. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and walk to Villafranca del Bierzo, and I’m trying to focus on just one day at a time to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Hi Hawkeye
Motivation comes and goes.
You have experienced pain and success.
10 days left is a good time to start with a search for god.
Listen to your heart and find out.
As you arrive in Santiago you finally have experienced the physical, mental and spiritual challenge.

Buen Camino , Brother

 

[Canche]

Hi Hawkeye
Motivation comes and goes.
You have experienced pain and success.
10 days left is a good time to start with a search for god.
Listen to your heart and find out.
As you arrive in Santiago you finally have experienced the physical, mental and spiritual challenge.

Buen Camino , Brother

Well said

 

[RJM]

I don't know, I always just figured walking the Camino is better than being at work. I never had any issues motivating myself to keep walking because well, I'm not at work.

 

[JCarpenter]

You can fill in the blank in this sentence with most trials along the Camino, and it makes sense to me: I'd rather_______ on the Camino, than at home. Be bored, have a sprained ankle, be lost, have a bad coffee/stomach ache/day.. try it!

 

[Margaret Butterworth]

It's hard to have to confess to friends and family that you had to give up. Loss of face, and all that.

 

[hawkeyepierce]

Small update: I’m now in Gonzar, four days out from Santiago. Other than some off-and-on toe pain I’m in good spirits.

I apologize for not responding to those who offered their support in this thread individually but I will do so when I get home and have a proper computer.

 

[Crosscheck]

Small update: I’m now in Gonzar, four days out from Santiago. Other than some off-and-on toe pain I’m in good spirits.

I apologize for not responding to those who offered their support in this thread individually but I will do so when I get home and have a proper computer.

Almost there! Hope you are enjoying the trails, people, albergues, cafes, vin tinto, etc, etc, etc. Sorry about the toe though

 

[hawkeyepierce]

I think it’s a neuroma. I have one elsewhere. It flares up when my laces get loose, when I retie them the metatarsal pad on my orthotic is able to keep it in check.

I’ll schedule an appointment with my podiatrist when I get home. Meanwhile it’s manageable.

 

[Crosscheck]

I think it’s a neuroma. I have one elsewhere. It flares up when my laces get loose, when I retie them the metatarsal pad on my orthotic is able to keep it in check.

I’ll schedule an appointment with my podiatrist when I get home. Meanwhile it’s manageable.

I've had two neuromas surgically removed. On bad days, it felt like broken glass inside my foot, good days just rocks in my shoe. Try wider shoes first and the fine tuned metatarsal pad placement.

 

[hawkeyepierce]

Today I walked the final stage into Santiago. Thank you all so much for your support.

 

[VNwalking]

Well done and congratulations @hawkeyepierce !
Turns our you could do it. The map of Spain will never look the same.

 

[bergmannfamily]

Woo-hoo! Congratulations.

 

[Lindsay53]

Well done mate!

 

[hikingcat]

Congratulations!

 

[Vancouver Rose]

As my friend from NY would say, "You F'in did it!" Good for you! Woo-hoo!!! So glad you made it over the hump.

 

[nycwalking]

Congratulations!

 

[hawkeyepierce]

Thank you, but it's not about me, but to give Ryan, aka @hawkeyepierce, confidence that he is not alone feeling the way he does, that what he is proposing to do has worked for others, and to make sure he knows that there will be support here on the forum should he need that. After all, the worst that could happen if he goes on is that he could become another camino tragic, like so many of us, and we will see him here for years to come helping other pilgrims.

Thank you Doug! I will admit I've already started thinking about my next Camino, but I have a dog now so that complicates things.

Enjoy the winding valley and river walking after Villafranca Del Bierzo on your way up to O Cebreiro. It's gorgeous.

That was indeed gorgeous. I spend the night in Las Herrerias and rode a horse up to O Cebreiro.

Yep, been there, done that........
But you're so close.......
And have some amazing parts ahead of you

Thank you!

Ten days left? I never got to ten days from SJPdP before injury...because of my weight. And at that time, I was 50 lb overweight. Now, I am 100 lb overweight...thanks covid...and my still healing injuries.

Take a day or two off to recharge. You're more than half way there. I believe you can do it!!!

I definitely dealt with some injuries along the way, but thankfully minor. I injured my ankle on the descent into Zubiri on day 3 and had to take 3 days off, then I did half-stages for about a week. I would say once I reached Logrono I felt like my body had truly adapted.

Go Hawkeye go! I'm excited for you and slightly jealous I don't have an imminent accomplishment just days ahead. A few days after SdC you'll wish you were back in SJJP again

Ha! I'm feeling that already now that I'm home.

Keeping going will create a far better story that you will be able to look back on in time. Head down , keep on keeping on.

Ride the wave and know it;s just a trial you need to push through. Many here are pondering whether they could make it on their caminos. Push on and it will help not only you, but others reading this

One foot in front of the other! I met a 90 year old German man from Leipzig in Castrojeriz, he's walking the camino 6-8 miles at a time. If he can do it anyone can.

I'd take every alternative or "Complementary" route offered, for they are the less traveled, as long as you have the snacks and drink on board. There may be a few less cafes on them. They do not stray very far from the posted route, but are short arcs to the side of the main route. At least one of them was an older route I remembered taking a few years back. And you won't be fretting about your compadres up ahead, because you will have taken slightly different paths.

I did take the Samos route after Triacastela. The walk from Samos to Aguiada was one of the most beautiful days of the CF.

Hawkeye, do it for all us chubbies! Buen camino!

Chubbies unite! I lost 17 pounds while on the CF and my average walking heart rate has fallen by 20 beats per minute since I began training in early May.

One step at a time.

Indeed!

I lost 20 lbs by the time i was done....
so...motivations -

O'Cebreiro - huuuugew jamon bocadillos at the bar right across the chapel
Arzua - absolutely scrumptiously delicious cheeses
Melide - PULPOI!!!!! (grilled.... with lemon)
Galicia proper - Caldo Galicia soup. Alberquina wine,
Santiago proper - 1000 restaurants (OK maybe I am exaggerating but it sure feels like it ...and they all are hopping)

Jokes aside - I agree with folks that stated its the 'spiritual' side that now gets a grip on you. Dont give up!
PERCEVERE! Its a simple question of putting your mind back where it was in the beginning! I am sure you WILL feel great walking through the arch onto the plaza being piped in by the Scottish pipes - and you will LOVE IT!

ULTREIA indeed

I loved Caldo Galego. The perfect dish in the misty mountains of Galicia, plus I was glad to start meals with some greens after so many weeks of just patatas.

I treated myself to a celebratory dinner in Santiago at Anaco. Just happened to notice it while wondering around near my hotel—it had a Michelin logo by the door so I figured it must be good. Galician farm to table, the tasting menu is 45 euros and goes for 10-12 courses! Highly recommended as a celebratory splurge in SdC! It's maybe 20 meters off the camino by Porta do Camino.

Oh BTW if you want to challenge yourself physically "just a little more" and you are in Vega de Valcarce tomorrow - do climb up to the Saracen Castle. The views are unbelievable

I appreciate the tip! I was too tired for anything but "just" the Camino at that point!

On my first Camino I found that once I realised I would / could finish - around 200 km from Santiago- my brain got bored and wanted a new challenge or something new of interest to do with itself. I believe there is a place past boredom that is much more peaceful and sublime. So soon I'm trying the Via del la Plata - 1000 km. I am very curious to see how my busy brain deals with this and to discover more of what lies beyond boredom.
On the other hand you could also do some sort of audio online learning while walking to keep the boredom at bay.

I started listening to recordings of the US Army band as I walked. Something about Battle Hymn of the Republic was especially inspirational to me while walking through the forests of Galicia.

What? Are you seriously suggesting this? This is certainly not my experience from similar circumstances, and I think I would have found someone denying that my pain and associated mental distress was real would have been extremely unhelpful. I found it both a mental and physical struggle each day for a week or more to keep walking. If @hawkeyepierce finds it difficult enough that he has resorted to reaching out to us here on this forum, I am happy to accept that he does have a problem.

It seems that knowing that he isn't the only one to face similar challenges has helped. Perhaps knowing how others have managed to continue under similar circumstances will help too. And perhaps knowing that what he has proposed to do has worked for others will help even more. What I don't see is how telling him he doesn't have a problem is at all helpful.

I'm glad to see he is continuing, and if we have been a small part in that by acknowledging he is having difficulty and supporting him to do that, that would be a good outcome for the forum.

Please, be kind!

Thank you Doug, you said it better than I could.

I believe these times of doubt and motivational crisis are when you will discover who you are and define what this journey means to you. I believe if you persevere through this time you will find an opening to spiritual growth and transformation. I feel the best is yet to come for you on this Camino. Ultreia!

Et suseia! Thank you!

Hola @hawkeyepierce

Yes!!
Sometimes I walk for many months at a time. There always comes a day when a grand refusal rises within. I listen to it. For me, it is an indication of physical and mental exhaustion. I stop walking for a few days. I eat lots, read a novel, laze about, do some music practice or something cultural. If i am a guest, I immerse myself in the household where I find myself.

I stop. I wait then set off again.

Sometimes, too, I exhaust myself and others with chattering. To put it plainly, I talk too much . So, every now and then i practice silence. I tell those arround me that I will be non-verbal for a period of time. I listen but do not reply.... I find this calming and helpful.

Buen camino, peregrino!

Thank you! I mostly took rest days in the big cities, I think if I were to do the CF again I'd instead try to spend rest days in the smaller towns. I'd love to see more of Estella, Villafranca del Bierzo, Sahagun, Las Herrerias and so many others.

Hey @hawkeyepierce Thank you for sharing your journey, the ups and downs of it! How are you doing? Can we follow along with you as far as you decide to go! We do understand your need to be silent as well. For me, it’s about the journey, much more than the destination. I admire your self-awareness, honesty and openness.
Are you heading for Las Herrerias tomorrow? Where are you staying there? Hope you have good weather tomorrow. Let us hear from you. We are walking with you!

I stayed at Paraiso del Bierzo for a night in a private room. Wonderful hotel, excellent food and the setting could not be more beautiful.

Hi hawkeyepierce ( I love the name, the character is one of the reasons I went into Medicine)
I recall a half dozen mornings in the last two weeks when we did our camino that I sat up in the morning and my feet would refuse to swing over the side of the bed. They adamantly were not going to touch the floor, and not a chance were they going out to walk again. My wife and I found that except for one day when we both felt 'done', we were able to help each other through those rough mornings to get up and get going. To get through those doldrums we added a rest day in Sarria, we added an extra walking day to make each of the last days a bit shorter, and we put our feet up more in the middle of the day to just feel like we were not forced to walk a set amount. Those things gave us a psychological boost.

Your autism makes the struggle a bit harder, but even though you may feel alone, you are not alone. Everyone else who started almost a month ago is feeling just like you. On the brighter side, very soon you will be joined by the influx of pilgrims at Sarria. Look at the excitement in the faces of those who are just starting, especially the school and college groups. Try to remember how good it felt to be at the beginning of your journey and try to let their youthful excitement rub off on you. The finish line is in sight!

Like many others have said, remember that we out here in the wider camino community are rooting for you. As Captain Pierce once said, "for your condition, you're in great condition!" Hang in there, my friend! Onward and upward.

Terence

Thank you! As Klinger said, "If I had all the answers, I'd run for God". The search is the journey.

One step at a time Hawkeye. Buen Camino!

Thank you!

As I head off on my first Camino in less than 2 weeks, a work colleague who was heading off on holiday, wrote me today: "You're about to head off on a very special and very personal experience. Remember to love the person you are travelling with (yourself!)." For all you've accomplished, and all you have yet to accomplish, give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling, and love yourself for a job well done - even were it to end today - it's still a job well done. And when you're reading this, after having walked another day ... Good for you! And every day you choose to walk, is, in fact, a choice. Assuming I make it over the Pyrenees, I may experience some version of the very same thoughts you've been having, and will try my best to accept those feelings, and still, I hope, choose to put one foot in front of the other.

You can do it! I've rarely traveled with others and I've been all around the world many times—learning to enjoy alone being with yourself is crucial.

Good morning, @hawkeyepierce !
Your perseverance will pay off, but that bump you hit is definitely something that can happen to everyone.
There may even be people around you in the same boat, just not talking about it.

One thing to do first is to look and see if you need physical rest - are you depleted of energy? If so take rest.

If you have physical energy, but the mind is down - oof. It's not easy. What helps me is to notice the blah feeling, acknowledge it ("Thank you for sharing..."), then put the thoughts to the side and set out to walk where I intend that day ("...but we're going to _________ today."). Kindness and firmness are key.

And then a bit of a challenge can help too - but be judicious with this, knowing your limits.
You know the routine by now and the days run together. A longer day or a slightly harder alternative route can cut through the sameness. From Villafranca there is a high Pradela route that is definitely harder - it is also a lot quieter, which may give you the silence you need right now.

(I would actually stop to stay at Lamas, it's a lovely place.)

And definitely honor the wish for more silence and less sense contact. Walking with a set of prayer beads or a mala can send a 'Please give me space" message that isn't confronting to others (and if you are inclined to use them, even better! )

Buen camino! The good news is that no mood lasts forever, and who knows what today will bring.

Thank you! I considered the Pradela route but by that point downhills were really doing a number on my knees.

hawkeyepierce,
Now as you go on may you feel while walking the secular transcendence akin to to what runners call 'the zone' . Your body can handle the task while your spirit glows with the effort. Neither easy, nor impossible; all simply is. ...Thus, thankfully you continue.
In the truest sense Ultreia!

I definitely got there! By the end I was knocking out 12-15 mile days like they were nothing.

Hi Hawkeye
Motivation comes and goes.
You have experienced pain and success.
10 days left is a good time to start with a search for god.
Listen to your heart and find out.
As you arrive in Santiago you finally have experienced the physical, mental and spiritual challenge.

Buen Camino , Brother

Thank you!

I want to close with two things. First, this quote from Anthony Bourdain that I found relevant to the Camino:

"Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o'clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you've never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on yourself. Check in on your friends. Enjoy the ride"

Personally I found that a great way to frame my expectations.

Second, please meet my new puppy. He came home the day after I returned and I have named him Santiago in honor of the camino:

 

[VNwalking]

Awwwwww. Hola, Santiago!
What a cutie, and a wonderful welcome home @hawkeyepierce .
Well done.