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Lost in Santiago

Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#1
Hello everyone,

In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.

On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.

I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.

On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.

"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.

I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.

Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
 

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SabineP

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
some and then more. see my signature.
#2
Oh Tania, so sorry to read about your feelings. Seems you made the good decision for you in Logroño.
Give yourself some time to let it all sink in. The answer will find you. And I'm sure you will be a brilliant hospitalera!!
Go where your heart tells you to go, be it a beach , a city off the Camino....
Or maybe help out at the Camino Chaplaincy or the Pilgrim's House in Santiago.
Or a bus to Fisterra or Muxia.....

Un abrazo and Ultreia!
 

NualaOC

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Past: Francés, Inglés, Fisterra/Muxia, Baztanés x2, Primitivo, Norte. 2018: Portugues.
#3
Hi Tania,

I'm sorry that things didn't work out as you had hoped - and I'm especially sorry that you're feeling so bad right now. It seems from your post that you're being very hard on yourself - that's something that a lot of us do, and from my own experience, it isn't always a helpful trait!

Do you really need to figure out what happened? For whatever reason, you're in Santiago and you've learned that walking the Camino isn't right for you just now. There's nothing wrong or bad about that, it is what it is. Maybe you just need to be kind to yourself for a little while and forget about the big questions or answers. This is a part of your life's journey and like so many things, it may only make sense after the event. So try not to frame this experience as 'quitting' - that isn't what you've done.

@SabineP has made some great suggestions and no doubt others will chime in with ideas and support. Just do what feels right. I agree with Sabine - this experience will make you a brilliant hospitalera!

Take care and have faith that all will be well.

Nuala
 
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Marc S.

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
2012-2018 Frances, Norte, Salvador, Aragones, Portuguese, Via Regia, Elisabethpfad, Jakibspaad.
#4
Hello Tania. Sorry to read your story. Something similar happened to me last year, when I finished my camino way earlier than I planned. I just did not have any motivation to walk any further, wondered what I was doing at the camino, and could not see the point of continuing all the way to Santiago. I felt angry and disappointed, but I decided to stop walking. First I spent some days in Leon, considering to continue, but felt even more disappointed because I saw all these pilgrims walking around, and I just could not relate to the whole thing anymore. In the end, I just went home. Disappointed, but afterwards, it all made sense (and I will definitely walk again in the future).
I do not mean to say you have to go home, but I think you should not be too hard on yourself & try to accept that this is how you feel at the moment (easier said than done, I know). After all, and to put things in perspective, all that happened is that you did not feel like continuing your camino. This is not the end of the world. Give it some time, and maybe now spent some time at the beach or any other place, but I would go to a place that is not on the camino, and not near other pilgrims. And then see how you feel like after a week.
Take care ! Marc
 

SYates

Camino Fossil AD 1999
Camino(s) past & future
First: Camino Francés 1999
...
Last: Camino Portugues 2018

Now: http://egeria.house/
#5
... I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.

Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
The small Benedictine monastery in Rabanal offers the possibility of staying several days for a retreat, perhaps that could be an option? Buen Camino de la Vida, SY
 

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mspath

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances, autumn/winter; 2004, 2005-2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015
#6
The small Benedictine monastery in Rabanal offers the possibility of staying several days for a retreat, perhaps that could be an option? Buen Camino de la Vida, SY
Another extraordinary monastery is Sobrado dos Monaxes slightly off the beaten path just 20 km north of Arzua or Melide. This Cistercian complex is a Baroque masterpiece; when there I wandered through the many structures in awe. Visitors may stay in the hospederia. Evening vespers service was held in a splendid circular contemporary space. All was either painted white or natural wood and lit by thick candles. The monks wore their white robes and responded in unison. It was truly timeless and memorable. Here is their web http://www3.planalfa.es/sobrado/sobrado.htm
 
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IngridF

Active Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
2012, 2015 ,2017
#7
I know how you feel, I felt the same last year at the end of my Caminos, even tho I LOVE Santiago, I felt lost.. something just felt out of place...well maybe the cold rain at that time didn't help either... but I know my way around Santiago, have a few friends there ... but still I needed to get away. I booked a train to Madrid and from there to Valencia and spend 8 days in sunshine, still walking all over, not tourist nor pilgrim... just being and had a wonderful time.

Sometimes we are out of synch and no matter how much we try, it is just not feeling ok. I am sorry you are feeling that way... it is a big commitment coming all the way from Canada... not as simply as just hoping on a train or bus and get back home somewhere in Europe.

I wish you peace and be good to yourself. Light and Love Ingrid
 

t2andreo

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
C/F: 2013, 2014
C/M: 2016
C/P: 2015, 2017
C/I: 2018
Voluntario: 2014 to 2017
#8
If you are still at Santiago, I recommend:

1. Walk to the Pilgrim House at Rua Nova 19. Speak to Gail, Ann, Faith or Niki. They are well-trained to listen and understand. Ask to volunteer there if you have time remaining in your stay. Tell them Tom sent you. OR

2. Go to the new Pilgrim Office, at Rua do Carretas 33. Ask for Sister Katherine O'Flynn. She and her colleague, Sister Marian, operate a non-sectarian (though Catholic based) meditation and consulting program, all free of charge. It is called Camino Companions. Sister Katherine is a trained psychologist. They are there to HELP, not to preach. They listen compassionately to all, even to my whining and complaining... They CAN help you talk through this rough spot and come to a solid and healthy understanding and coping state. Yes, you can tell them that Tom sent you... FYI, they wear civilian clothing, not habits...To identify me to Sister Katherine, remind her the password is "Yann Derrien." She and I know what that pertains to...I was there in April for most of a week. OR

3. If you have, like lots of time, ask to see Ms. Montse Diaz at the Pilgrim Office. Explain that you are a pilgrim, have done at least one full Camino, and ask if you can volunteer in the Pilgrim Office for "x" days or weeks. They are always looking for volunteer help. When I work there each summer, they provide a free flat to live in. They may have space now, as they are currently receiving volunteers. You need to feed yourself, but with a full kitchen, that is easy and cheap. They require all volunteers to have done at least one full Camino, any recognized route will do. They mostly look for people with good "people skills," compassion, and the willingness to do almost anything to help. Again, tell them I referred you.

If you go to the Pilgrim Office for any reason, be sure to bring your pilgrim credential or the security folks will not permit you onto the grounds. No credential, no entry. It is 2016. The world is a dangerous place. They are now taking security very seriously.

But, PLEASE do not simply walk away from Santiago without first seeking help to reach a suitable understanding and closure on your current experience.

I hope this helps, and that you figure it all out. Sometimes, your answers are directly in front, but you cannot recognize them. These three ideas can help clarify matters, IMHO.
 
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movinmaggie

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2015) Scotland GGW (2017) Primitivo (2018) if all vital signs working
#9
Hi Tania, I agree that perhaps some contemplative time might help. When you say that you didn't find what you were looking for, what was it you were looking for? Therein may lie the problem.....expectations. You were expecting something. I think we all have our own philosophy about trying to repeat a life changing experience. Perhaps tilt your focus toward the other reason you returned to the Camino and that was to be of service. When I saw you at our Hospitalero training session, I could just picture you as a Hospitalera, helping others. And there is no way you could not smile for weary pilgrims and help in any way you can because that is who you are.....now you have an even deeper empathy. I repeat one of Tagore's writings, not verbatim but close...we so often find ourselves in the service to others. I am looking forward to some walking with you when you do come home.....and the tea will be on. Much love to you as this 'new' life experience unfolds. Take heart dear girl.Maggie
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino frances 2013 - Camino Portugues 2014 - Camino frances 2016
#10
I know exactly what you mean. I had the same experience last year on the camino portugues. After only 3 days of walking - (From Lisbon) - I just stopped in the middle of the day. Sat at a café for a few hours - and had no idea what the hell I was doing on the camino. Just all emptiness. Caught a taxi and drove back to Lisbon. Spent a few days in the city and flew back home.
I also had my first camino in 2013 - and I just think I am not meant to do it again. I simply concluded that I just need more of a challenge. The camino (whatever one it is) is just too preditable, easy and save for me.
 

amorfati1

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
2014_Caminho Portuguese (Lisboa to Santiago_4 weeks in May)
#11
Hello everyone,

In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.

On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.

I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.

On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.

"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.

I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.

Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
Panta Rei - every thing flows. and it's also said one can't step in the same river twice.
we have changed, and the river also has flow on from that time when we first stepped in.

you perhaps have received and experienced all that what you/soul had needed/desired to experience on the camino in 2013, and to simply push the 'repeat button' does not always work.

it might be a bit of a sobering experience - depending on the heaps of expectations one sets out with at any endeveaour (spelling?) - but it's a good 'lesson' or insight.

you are in a beautiful country - go there where you feel moved to go. maybe it's a beach, maybe a class to learn flamenco somewhere south. some great suggestions on retreats in monasteries you have already received ...

(recently i posted a comment w/ a quote by Tolkien: "not all that wander are lost."
you might not be as lost as you believe you are... this time can be a very fruitful time of contemplation. tears are good in such inner places/spaces. - and - please don't misunderstand: how will you serve pilgrims if you 'can't' serve yourself first?
enjoy and very best wishes)
Buen Camino - on whatever path where life leads you.
saluti,
C
 

Wokabaut_Meri

merely labeled
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances SJPdP - Santiago (April/May 2015)
#13
Aaahhh Tania... I'm so sorry that you find yourself in Santiago as sad and lost as you are. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug.

You said that your first Camino was a very special and life-changing experience and that since coming home you've wanted to return... but to what? the Camino itself, your (past) experience of that Camino or the changes that it wrought within you? ...You say that you feel entirely lost on the Camino... where you OK at home before you came? ...

It's interesting that your inner voice is telling you that you don't want to be here - heed it. Perhaps that is the lesson of this Camino. Lots of Forum members have given you great options for all the time you have until you volunteer as a hospitalera in Grañon. See what option(s) resonate with you and, only then, take it/them up - if being a tourist on a beach appeals, go for it. Do what you feel will make you happy not what you feel you should do.

Sometimes we need to really lose ourselves to truly find ourSelves. You are lost along the Way to finding yourSelf. I wouldn't worry too much about being 'good in the head' to be ready to serve pilgrims. It sounds to me that you have a big and open honest heart and wonderful intent. That will suffice.

I am hoping that @William Garza here will come across your thread and pen one of his heartfelt and uplifting poems for you. In the meantime here's an offering from a favourite poet of mine - apologies if misquoted, I'm setting it down from memory.

Go Well wherever your journey takes you.. be gentle with yourself...

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
In the family of things.
 

kayagee66

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2016)
Le Puy - Roncesvalles (2016)
Figeac - Cahors (2017)
Stevenson Trail (2018
#15
By A E Houseman.
My favourite poem verse.

Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?
That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
 

Pingüigrino

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances, Aragones, Vasco del Interior, Baztanes. (Frances Winter, La Plata, Camino de Invierno, Mozarabe, Norte, Primitivo.)
#16
Hi Tania. Your story seems very similar to mine. Last september I was walking the Camino, and felt out of myself. No happynes, no joy, only pain in my body and disconform in my soul. Arriving to Leon I decided quit. I returned home, and a month later, the 16th of october I started my turn like hospitalero at Grañon. When finished it, after lots of reflections and a wonderful stay, returned home again with no expetations on my mind. Time elapsed and last april started walking again, from Ponferrada to Santiago. Later I was hospitalero at Samos and waiting to feel the call of the camino again ( I´m starting to feel it again., My wife would kill me if knowing ;)) But now, after many caminos on my "curricula" I have learn, again, to start every new camino, every new stage like a no colored candy. Maybe it could be refresshing, maybe hot spicy, maybe tasteless. Maybe you are hoping for a candy, puting your confidence in that wonderful candy you tasted time ago and could`t realize what you really need. Remember, el Camino usually gives not what we want, but what we need. Take it easy, enjoy the moment you can, be prepared for being disappointed in your new role like hospitalera, do it the best you can, and maybe, (only maybe) the camino will give you both things, what you want and what you need.
In any case, remember, the Camino is NOT the only way we have to fullfill our lifes. We need to be pilgrims in our own lifetime.
 

NorthernLight

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Le Puy to Santiago via the Frances 2012-2013. EPW2015
Aragonese & Frances 2016
Burgos to Muxia 2017
#17
I've walked away from the camino before. I was a few km past Decazeville, on the Le Puy route, and just turned around, walked back to town to a bus stop, caught the bus to the train station, caught a train 10 minutes later to Toulouse. It was the right decision for me at that time. I went back a few months later and eventually finished my camino.

Portugal is a nice holiday spot. Or the south of Spain is lovely.
 

biarritzdon

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF011, CF012, CP013, CF014, CA015, S.Anton015, CF015, CI015
Ditch Pig016, CF017, CP017, CdN(018)
#18
I can relate to your comment about the "rose colored glasses." My second Camino started that way and I felt somewhat lost for many weeks wondering if it was me or my expectations of repeating the wonderment of my first experience. Fortunately I recovered somewhere in the meseta.
The next year I changed my path and walked the Portuguese Camino and then my fourth Camino was back on the Frances and I was seeing things completely differently than two years before.
Last year I walked the Aragones, most of the Frances and the Ingles, it was the best Camino experience of my life. I also worked as a hospitalero for 2 weeks at San Anton last year, truly it's an experience you do not want to miss out on at Granon.
A beach and a book would be nice but boring after a few days. Have you considered waking backwards to Granon, it sounds like you have the time?
 

Ekelund

Active Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
The Camino Frances 2005
The Portugese Camino 2014
The Camino Ingles Easter 2015
The Camino Ingles April 2016
The Camino del Norte/The Primitivo 2016
#19
Hi Tania
Very good that you took action on your feelings and left the Camino. I'm sorry you are feeling lost and out of place and I hope you are able to change it and get the best out of the present situation. There are some good suggestions of what to do now from the members of the Forum, hopefully it will inspire you to plan for the next couple of weeks.
All the best to you, let us know how you are doing.
Take care.
 

Albertagirl

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (2015); Ch. d'Arles: Oloron Ste Marie to Aragones; Frances (2016); V.d.l.P.; Sanabres (2017)
#20
Tania,
I am also going back to the camino from western Canada, after an amazing camino last year. I had no expectations last year, except to respond to whatever happened, because I must be experiencing this calling for some reason. Aspects of what I learned while on camino keep on returning to me in my everyday life, and I try to integrate them into how I live. Now I am going back, because I want to, but with no sense of calling. However, I do have this one aim: to help other pilgrims who are following the route. I hope to provide them with first aid supplies, a listening ear, and anything else they might need and I have available. You are planning to provide them with a bed for the night at one of the most spiritual albergues of the route. So your journey is not meaningless, even if it cannot be what it was last time. As I type this, I see that to help the next generation of pilgrims is my way of giving thanks for what I was given by helping others along their own Way. This may not be what you hoped for, but it is a worthwhile and generous-hearted way of continuing the contact with the camino that was so meaningful to you. You're doing good.
 

marylynn

Active Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
2011-12-14-15-16-17-18 CF
2013 Arles/Aragones
2015 & 2017 Hærvejen DK
#21
In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost...Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'...I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here...I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey...

I think I understand how you feel! Last summer I had a similar experience of fondly missing previous villages, albergues, friends, memories, and experiences, when I walked from Pamplona to Burgos and re-walked from Pamplona to Estella where I was a hospitalera for the second half of June because I was deliberately staying in villages and/or albergues that were new to me to 'change it up' because I thought I should stay in different villages and in different albergues--that's the advice usually given when one wants to ensure a different experience a second time around on a Camino. However, I often felt 'out of the Camino.' I was feeling very much out of synch--and sometimes I wondered what I was doing there. Eventually I realized that when I did happen to stay in an albergue again for the second or third time, I felt good. I was happy. The good memories were there, and it felt comfortable.

I finally realized that I liked the familiar villages and the familiar albergues. I liked the comfort of staying where I had been before, a place where I had a positive experience. I liked walking around the corner and remembering a friend or an incident or an experience that happened in that exact spot and that I have carried with me for a year or two or four or more. The old memories feel good. I love the connections that the Camino has created in my life. I have tried to eliminate the word 'should' in my speech, so I wondered why I thought I should feel obligated to avoid staying in places that I have enjoyed in the past--places that continue to hold good memories???

I have decided that when I walk in September from Burgos to Ponferrada before I volunteer as a hospitalera again that, when there is a choice, I will intentionally stay in villages and in albergues where I have stayed before and have had a positive experience. I will test my own theory that you don't have to 'change it up' to have a better experience next time.

All that to say, that if you are not ready to let go of the old journey, then don't! Do what you can in the time you have before reporting to wonderful Grañon to put those 'rosey glasses' back on - maybe by staying again in favourite villages and/or albergues, maybe writing about your past Camino experiences or writing to 2013 Camino friends, or maybe there is something else that will help you to re-experience and re-connect to those wonderful 2013 memories. Whatever you decide to do between now and reporting in Grañon, I'm sure it will be very good!
 
Camino(s) past & future
2012 Dieppe, FR Bici CF.
2014 Ruta Vasco/CF/Primativo
#22
Thanks so much for sharing.
You are in what the anthropoligist Arnold van Gennep termed, "betwixt and between" neither here nor there. It really is an awesome place to be. What van Gennep was observing was the rite of passage of young men coming into manhood in an African community. He observed that there are 3 phases:
1- Separation (going on a quest). They went out into desert alone to live for a year on a spiritual and mystical quest.
2- Betwixt and between, (the liminal space between where you were ans where you are going). This Was the experience of living alone on the land, meditating, praying, surviving and the seeking of wisdom and learning their gifts.
3- Re-incorporation. This was the return, the integration of the lessons and wisdom gained while on the quest. This is where you share the gifts that have been discovered while ,"out there".

My suggestion is: be with the change, embrace the discomfort, wear it like the wrong ill fitting clothing that it is and don't judge it or yourself. Not many people have this rare opportunity. Many folks are content to stay right where they are and NEVER push their comfort level.
I served in Granon in the first third of my last Camino. It is a very special place. I hope you will take the time you need to rest and arrive at your post as hospitalera. There is no other place like it anywhere.
Someone mentioned Valencia. It is beautiful and so is Barcelona. Walking into Sagrada Familia was like stepping into heaven after my camino in 2014.
Let the process work on you. Feel the pain, shed the tears and thank the Cosmos for such an awesome opportunity.
 
#23
Just a couple of my favourite quotes that hopefully might mean something to you right now:

From Iyanla Vanzant - "Where you are right now is exactly where you need to be. When you know more then you will move on."

And from of all people, Dr Phil Mc Graw who says -"Sometimes we make the right decision and sometimes we have to MAKE the decision right".

Neither quote is verbatim but I know you will get the drift of both of them. So stop beating yourself up, you are meant to be going through this right now and I would be most surprised if you don't come to the conclusion in a short space of time that you were sent back to Spain for a very good reason. Just relax and let it all unfold.

Very good luck to you, Tania. Be sure to come back and give us an update.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (2007) Lourdes to Leon (2009) VdLP (2015)
#24
You have several weeks now open to do what you want, and you're traveling light. A beach and a book, yes, but maybe also some volunteer work? Not with pilgrims tho. Any chance you could show up somewhere there are refugees in need and just pitch in?
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#25
Wow! Thank you all so much for your support, advice, quotes and poems. It is all valuable to me and I will refer to it much during my next weeks in Spain.

To give you an update, yesterday I spent some time talking with people at The Pilgrim House in Santiago (a wonderful resource). There, I met another pilgrim who had a similar experience on the Portuguese Way. We talked more over lunch and I'm beginning to wonder if this last journey, without my rosey glasses, might be helping me to value what I have at home more.

Along my walks, with my thoughts of not wanting to be there, I reminisqued about home, the mountains, my friends and family. I was seeing the Camino path and it's suroundings as simply a path and it's surroundings. The magic I once felt just wasn't there, but maybe it wasn't supposed to be there. Like someone mentioned the Camino doesn't always give you what you want, but more so what you need.

My last journey inspired huge changes in the way I live. I sold my house, furniture, purged many things, then quit my job and traveled in South America solo for 4 months before somewhat settling in a furnished bedroom and the temporary staffing pool at the University of Victoria. The changes were good, but I was always gazing at the horizon waiting to fly away again. Maybe this journey is about really valuing my home and finally feeling good about settling and making a permanent life there.

Last night I returned to the Pigrim House where 5 of us spoke about our journey's, what they could be about, what was valuable about them, how to move forward, etc. We supported each other in the same kind of pilgrim fashion we are here on the forum. It's a really wonderful place.

Today, two of us are renting a car and are going to see the Galician country side. Tomorrow? I'm not sure yet. I will take it day by day. I'm thinking about the Sobrado dos Monaxes monastery for a couple of days, also of taking time out to see the south coast, also of volunteering somewhere. For now, I will focus on today and see where it leads me.

Thank you all so much for your responses and for sharing your own journeys, disappointments and reflections. I am not alone in feeling this way. Thank you.
 
Last edited:

Irish Bernie

Active Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Francis 2013-2014-2015,16 and June 2017
#26
If you are still at Santiago, I recommend:

1. Walk to the Pilgrim House at Rua Nova 19. Speak to Gail, Ann, Faith or Niki. They trained to listen and understand. Ask to volunteer there if you have time remaining in your stay. Tell them Tom sent you. OR

2. Go to the new Pilgrim Office, at Rua do Carretas 33. Ask for Sister Katherine O'Flynn. She and her colleague, Sister Marian, operate a non-sectarian (though Catholic based) meditation and consulting program, all free of charge. It is called Camino Companions. Sister Katherine is a trained psychologist. They are there to HELP, not to preach. They listen compassionately to all, even to my whining and complaining... They CAN help you talk through this rough spot and come to a solid and healthy understanding and coping state. Yes, you can tell them that Tom sent you... FYI, they wear civilian clothing, not habits...To identify me to Sister Katherine, remind her the password is "Yann Derrien." She and I know what that pertains to...I was there in April for most of a week. OR

3. If you have, like lots of time, ask to see Ms. Montse Diaz at the Pilgrim Office. Explain that you are a pilgrim, have done at least one full Camino, and ask if you can volunteer in the Pilgrim Office for "x" days or weeks. They are always looking for volunteer help. When I work there each summer, they provide a free flat to live in. They may have space now, as they are currently receiving volunteers. You need to feed yourself, but with a full kitchen, that is easy and cheap. They require all volunteers to have done at least one full Camino, any recognized route will do. They mostly look for people with good "people skills," compassion, and the willingness to do almost anything to help. Again, tell them I referred you.

If you go to the Pilgrim Office for any reason, be sure to bring your pilgrim credential or the security folks will not permit you onto the grounds. No credential, no entry. It is 2016. The world is a dangerous place. They are now taking security very seriously.

But, PLEASE do not simply walk away from Santiago without first seeking help to reach a suitable understanding and closure on your current experience.

I hope this helps, and that you figure it all out. Sometimes, your answers are directly in front, but you cannot recognize them. These three ideas can help clarify matters, IMHO.
What a truely wonderful reply,much respect sir.
 

NualaOC

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Past: Francés, Inglés, Fisterra/Muxia, Baztanés x2, Primitivo, Norte. 2018: Portugues.
#27
Hi Tania, so good of you to let us know how you're doing today.

Your very wise observations reminded me of one of @Viranani 's (many) inspiring comments. It's #11 on this thread: https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...one-more-new-years-problem.37657/#post-365700 :
....... ask yourself why there is a difference between being home and being on the camino.
No, not in terms of the outside conditions. That's obvious.
But what is it in the heart that is unsatisfied and wants to be somewhere else? Dangerous but good question. I figure I'll be walking (and doing my meditation practice) until there is no difference between life and practice, and life and the Camino. (They're two different but very similar and mutually supportive processes....) .......


At the time, this made me think a lot about my motivation or 'need' for returning to the Camino. I've been making small changes in the past few years to align my 'normal' self more closely with my Camino experience. It sounds as though you've made enormous strides in that direction and that this journey has helped you to realise and value those changes. That's a cause for great celebration!
 

manoll

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino del Norte, Camino Primitivo - 2013
Camino Sanabrés from Zamora - April-May 2016
Camino del Norte - June-July 2018
#28
Hello everyone,

In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.

On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.

I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.

On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.

"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.

I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.

Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
Hi Tania,
I'm here in Santiago too since Sunday after finishing the Camino Sanabrés. It's so difficult to have exactly the same experience as you've had before. You're right when you say it's a very special life-changing event; I too felt that my first Camino - Camino del Norte, was an extremely relevant chapter in my life, to the point that I needed to be here again.
As I walked alone through the forests, the medieval villages and the glorious countryside of Castilla León and Galicia, I asked myself many times why exactly was I here? What did the Camino mean to me? And on the 14th day of walking it came to me; my Camino is what I think, it's what I see, what I hear, what I smell, what I taste, it's also the emotions I feel, the nostalgia of what was, of my past, it's the reflection of my present, and my renewed determination for a future focused on my family.
It may sound like a cliché to you, but once I put my feelings into words, I truly felt elated! And once again, I am very certain that there is another Camino in my future.

Many blessings to you Tania, and I pray that there is another Camino for you in your future.
If you're still around here in Santiago, perhaps you'd like to have a "cortado", or a glass of wine:)

Ultreïa!

Mary
 

Irish Bernie

Active Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Francis 2013-2014-2015,16 and June 2017
#30
Tania, you can come to Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos. We can always find something for you to do here, or at one of the albergues. And we can leave you alone, too, if that's what you'd like.
I would like to visit yer place on my Camino in August,how may i find it ?
 

SYates

Camino Fossil AD 1999
Camino(s) past & future
First: Camino Francés 1999
...
Last: Camino Portugues 2018

Now: http://egeria.house/
#31
Moratinos isn't huge - just ask for Los Americanos/Los extranjeros and any local will point you into the right direction. Actually asking for Rebekah and Paddy will do the trick also. But basically it is close to the end of the village, more or less on the right/opposite of Bruno's albergue. Or just follow the barking dogs. Lol. As you see, you can't really miss it. Buen Camino, SY

PS Don't forget to bring peanut butter (I think crunchy is preferred) and dog/cat treats ...
 

Irish Bernie

Active Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Francis 2013-2014-2015,16 and June 2017
#32
Moratinos isn't huge - just ask for Los Americanos/Los extranjeros and any local will point you into the right direction. Actually asking for Rebekah and Paddy will do the trick also. But basically it is close to the end of the village, more or less on the right/opposite of Bruno's albergue. Or just follow the barking dogs. Lol. As you see, you can't really miss it. Buen Camino, SY

PS Don't forget to bring peanut butter (I think crunchy is preferred) and dog/cat treats ...
Thank you.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (5), Portuguese, Norte, Primitivo(2), Aragones, Finisterre/Muxia (3), Camino del Rey
#33
Hey Tania,

Been there, done that with the trying to capture lightning in the bottle and repeat the experience of the camino like the first time...

I just finished my 7th camino (this year April/May from SJPP to Burgos, Oviedo to Santiago, and Astora to O'Cebreiro for some extra fun) until the weather got soggy and the gong show that is now the Camino Frances got the better of me. So I grabbed the bus to Porto, rented a car at the airport for a week ($71 Canadian total for 7 days!) and decided to tour Portugal to find some sun and get a break. Tomar (the amazing Cristo Monestary and excellent Hostel, Lisbon (Living Lounge Hostel), Sintra (Moon Hill Hostel), Sagre and Aljezur (Design Hostel) and the amazing Costa Vincentina (Vincentina Coast). Rota Vincentina has a network of 400km of hiking trails along the coast if you are still wanting to hike, and the aforementioned hostels are all awesome where you'll meet travelers who like to travel, hikers who like to hike and just be able to chill out! Google some of the above for images. For me the personal discovery of Vincentina was a great find, and now that I've done my last Camino (I found my perfect camino on the Primitivo), its time to do some new trails like the Vincentina and the Lycian Way in Turkey in the future. You're so close to a great adventure... go for it!
 

VNwalking

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Francés (2014, 2015)
St Olav/Francés (2016)
Baztanés/Francés (2017)
Ingles (July 2018)
#34
Wishing you well, Tania! You know, there's no wrong answer here. Nothing you could do wrong--and lots of things you could do right.

So glad you went to Pilgrim House. And
if you have an open invitation to stay at Peaceable, do seriously consider going! That'd be a fine place to get a deeper sense of what's happening right now--while having the chance to give a little back at the same time. Rebekah and Paddy are...well, so many good things. Generous, deeply grounded, salt of the earth folks with much to offer of wisdom and good sense.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#35
Tania, you can come to Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos. We can always find something for you to do here, or at one of the albergues. And we can leave you alone, too, if that's what you'd like.
Rebekah, I would love to come out and help. I will make my way out your direction today :)
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#37
Tania, you can come to Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos. We can always find something for you to do here, or at one of the albergues. And we can leave you alone, too, if that's what you'd like.
Rebekah...the bus runs only once per day from Santiago to León leaving at 8:00am, so I missed it today. I will catch tomorrow's bus arriving in León at 2:00pm, then I will catch the connecting bus to Moratinos. I'm not sure what time I will arrive.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#38
If you're still around here in Santiago, perhaps you'd like to have a "cortado", or a glass of wine:)
Mary, I will be in Santiago today, but in and out of wifi range. If you are still around it would be great to have a glass of wine with you! :)
 

t2andreo

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
C/F: 2013, 2014
C/M: 2016
C/P: 2015, 2017
C/I: 2018
Voluntario: 2014 to 2017
#40
Moratinos isn't huge - just ask for Los Americanos/Los extranjeros and any local will point you into the right direction. Actually asking for Rebekah and Paddy will do the trick also. But basically it is close to the end of the village, more or less on the right/opposite of Bruno's albergue. Or just follow the barking dogs. Lol. As you see, you can't really miss it. Buen Camino, SY

PS Don't forget to bring peanut butter (I think crunchy is preferred) and dog/cat treats ...
Just FYI, Rebekah's preferred brand is (US) Jiff Extra Crunchy...;)

If you are coming from Santiago, there is a new shop called "Snackies" on Rua das Ofras #29 (if I remember correctly), that sells all manner of US snack and junk / comfort foods... including Jiff Peanut Butter...Just sayin... Someone might have a craving for comfort foods. But be aware, the sizes are small and the prices high.

On balance, and knowing Rebekah, I suggest she might prefer something she can use for helping pilgrims, or perhaps treats for her several dogs (I sent her some rawhide chews in April), especially if she has enough peanut butter.:)
 

t2andreo

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
C/F: 2013, 2014
C/M: 2016
C/P: 2015, 2017
C/I: 2018
Voluntario: 2014 to 2017
#41
Rebekah...the bus runs only once per day from Santiago to León leaving at 8:00am, so I missed it today. I will catch tomorrow's bus arriving in León at 2:00pm, then I will catch the connecting bus to Moratinos. I'm not sure what time I will arrive.
Tania:

There may also be a RENFE train to Sahagun. Rebekah's place is about 9 km EAST of Sahagun (mas or menas) by foot. If you say pretty please, she might be even induced to come fetch you from the train or bus station by car...;)

Finally if you can get to Sahagun, by direct bus or train, taxis cost about one Euro per kilometer. So the one way ride to Moratinos should be about 10-12 Euro (informed guesstimate) based on interpreting the guide book. The tiny village is just off the N-120 highway and is on Mr. Brierley's stage 18.

I hope this helps. Say hello to them for me when you get there.

Tom
 

manoll

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino del Norte, Camino Primitivo - 2013
Camino Sanabrés from Zamora - April-May 2016
Camino del Norte - June-July 2018
#43
Mary, I will be in Santiago today, but in and out of wifi range. If you are still around it would be great to have a glass of wine with you! :)
Where are you now? If you can, PM me, I'll be around:)
 

Rebekah Scott

Camino Busybody
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Many, various, and continuing.
#44
Rebekah...the bus runs only once per day from Santiago to León leaving at 8:00am, so I missed it today. I will catch tomorrow's bus arriving in León at 2:00pm, then I will catch the connecting bus to Moratinos. I'm not sure what time I will arrive.
Tania, get the train from Leon to Sahagun. It's more reliable. If you are in pilgrim shape you can just hike the 8 km. to Moratinos, that's what I do when I've been in a bus or train all day.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#45
Where are you now? If you can, PM me, I'll be around:)
Sorry I missed you Mary. Got out of wifi range. Heading out this morning at 8am. Hope the rest of your stay in Santiago is wonderful!
 

natefaith

Moderator
Staff member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Sarria-Santiago (2009)
León-Ponferrada (2014)
Camino Inglés (2017)
#46
Tania, it was SO wonderful to meet you at Pilgrim House. Keep us updated on how you're doing. Enjoy the rest of your journey in Spain as well as getting home when the time comes. Seems like you're already learning a ton this Camino, even though it hasn't turned out exactly as you were expecting. Enjoy being with Reb!!
Big hugs!!!
Faith
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#47
Tania, it was SO wonderful to meet you at Pilgrim House. Keep us updated on how you're doing. Enjoy the rest of your journey in Spain as well as getting home when the time comes. Seems like you're already learning a ton this Camino, even though it hasn't turned out exactly as you were expecting. Enjoy being with Reb!!
Big hugs!!!
Faith
Thanks to both of you! Pilgrim House was there when I desperately needed it. You were a huge support in getting me to a positive place inside. You run a wonderful and much needed resource for pilgrims :)
 

Debora

Beautiful Burgos
Camino(s) past & future
SJPdP to Santiago May (2016)
#48
Hello everyone,

In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.

On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.

I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.

On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.

"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.

I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.

Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
I am on camino right now. I have been walking for about 15 days. I was excited to come but not enjoying the experience as I had hoped. The people are nice. Many beautiful views. Many laughs - but cold most of the time, uncomfortable, sore, tired, food is repetitive, boring and full of carbs. I can see beautiful views closers to home - meet nice people and get better food and have clean clothes daily - all closers to home. I can have a pilgrimage and pilgrim experience almost anywhere. I don't know if any of that helps you but I guess I feel not everyone is sharing all the truths of the camino....it's not for everyone and I for one do not feel uncomfortable about sharing my truth. I wished I was flying home tomorrow.
 

rivermary

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
2012 (2016)
#50
Thanks to both of you! Pilgrim House was there when I desperately needed it. You were a huge support in getting me to a positive place inside. You run a wonderful and much needed resource for pilgrims :)
Tania, this whole thread beginning with your "lost in Santiago" post was the first long thread I have read on this website. I was moved by your courage to be vulnerable and honest and ask for help and moved by the humility, wisdom and kindness (and lack of intrusiveness) of the wonderful responders. What a great community of pilgrims. Also moved by your willingness and ability to take the advice given and run with it. Here I am inMuxia resting after my 2nd Camino Frances (this from Burgos, the first in 2012 fromSt. Jean, both with injuries, obstacles, paradoxes, gifts, confusions, etc ). Reading this thread was a gift and a blessing. Thank you all wet much.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Plans are set April 2016 Camino Frances
#51
Hello everyone,

In September/October of 2013, I walked the Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago. It was a very special and life-changing experience. Ever since I got on the plane to come home I've wanted to return. Now I'm back and entirely lost.

On May 6th, I began walking the Camino del Norte from Irún. I got as far as Deba and didn't find what I was looking for, so I bussed to Pamplona and began walking from there. Everyday I would walk, see the beauty, but ask myself why the heck am I here? I've done this, it was special, it changed my life in big ways, but why am I here? I don't want to be here. Everything I remembered with rose coloured glasses was no longer 'rosey'.

I know I can't repeat the same journey, but I couldn't help, as I passed certain places, but miss the old journey. I tried changing it up...it's spring for starters, of course different people too, but I also stayed in different villages and at different albergues. Still, I would tell myself each day, I don't want to be here.

On my last day (yesterday), walking out of Logroño, all I could do was cry until I reached the tunnel that leads under the highway. I turned around and walked to the bus station and felt better. Now I am in Santiago picking up my suitcase. I don't want to be here either though. I am not ready to let go of the old journey or to have a new one. I want to flee the Camino. I have tears and a lump in my throat even now.

"So now what?" I am telling myself. I was very excited to be hospitalera in Grañon between June 15th and 30th before I left Canada. I don't want to quit that like I have quit this last Camino. I want to be 'good in my head' and ready to serve the pilgrims. I just feel so lost right now.

I have time to kill between now and then. Part of me thinks I should go somewhere off the path and read a book on a beach for a few days or be in a garden or mountain retreat where I can recoup and figure out what happened. Walking to Finistere came to mind, but I'm not sure I want to.

Any insight or ideas? I really appreciate it.
Hi Tania. Sorry to hear of your disappointment. It is a harsh lesson to believe we can ever go back in time, yet I do believe you will gain some treasure. I am writing from Finisterre. I am walking to Muxia tomorrow. It is spectacular and a wonderful mini camino that is totally mine after walking the Camino Frances. X
 

psychoticparrot

psychoticparrot
Camino(s) past & future
April, May (2017)
#52
I'm not at all surprised that your second pilgrimage is not living up to your expectations.

I have yet to walk the Camino, so I may be talking out of turn, but --- I don't understand "Camino fever," which seems to compel many people to walk the various Caminos over and over again. I plan to walk the Camino Frances one time. If I'm successful and complete the whole pilgrimage, I have no intention to do it again. There are so many other places in the world equally worthy of exploration. Attempts to replicate a unique and (what will be for me) a once-in-a-lifetime experience are confusing to me, although I do not in any way denigrate those who find fulfillment in multiple Camino pilgrimages.

Tania, the solution is simple. Spend the rest of your trip is whatever way seems best to you. When you return home, look into other pilgrimages or other explorations in other fascinating countries. For you, as I suspect it will be for me, the Camino is now a been-there, done-that experience. Well worth having done it, but not repeating.
 

Albertagirl

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances (2015); Ch. d'Arles: Oloron Ste Marie to Aragones; Frances (2016); V.d.l.P.; Sanabres (2017)
#53
I'm not at all surprised that your second pilgrimage is not living up to your expectations.

I have yet to walk the Camino, so I may be talking out of turn, but --- I don't understand "Camino fever," which seems to compel many people to walk the various Caminos over and over again. I plan to walk the Camino Frances one time. If I'm successful and complete the whole pilgrimage, I have no intention to do it again. There are so many other places in the world equally worthy of exploration. Attempts to replicate a unique and (what will be for me) a once-in-a-lifetime experience are confusing to me, although I do not in any way denigrate those who find fulfillment in multiple Camino pilgrimages.

Tania, the solution is simple. Spend the rest of your trip is whatever way seems best to you. When you return home, look into other pilgrimages or other explorations in other fascinating countries. For you, as I suspect it will be for me, the Camino is now a been-there, done-that experience. Well worth having done it, but not repeating.
@psychotic parrot:
That's exactly what I thought before I did my first camino. I don't think I am going back to attempt to replicate an earlier experience, but I don't suppose I shall know until after the second pilgrimage is over. But then I never have regarded the camino as a place in the world worthy of exploration. And I have never been on another journey with such a strong sense of calling. I don't feel that now, so I shall just have to try to be aware of the possibility of disappointment. I hope to be able to be of service to others and to be open to whatever happens. That is all.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances from SJPDP to Santiago (Fall 2013)
Camino del Norte from Irun to Santiago (May 6th, 2016 - ?)
#54
As most of you know, I decided to bus to Moratinos from Santiago and stay at Peaceable Kingdom on the meseta. It is located in a little village called Moratinos on the Camino Frances route. I am having a truly wonderful experience here with Rebekah and Patrick. I feel very much at home and much more positive about my current Camino, even though I am not walking it at the moment.

I also want to say that I do believe in the Camino. It teaches us and gives us opportunity if we trust it and say yes. The Camino doesn't always give us what we want or what we expect, but it does give us what we need.

For those out there walking who are questioning their Camino and need time out to reflect or rest, this is a great place to just "be" for a little while :)

The photos below are of a labyrinth I helped Rebekah maintain this morning. Keep an eye out for it to the left of the path before Moratinos!

View media item 4919View media item 4920View media item 4921
 

psychoticparrot

psychoticparrot
Camino(s) past & future
April, May (2017)
#55
@psychotic parrot:
That's exactly what I thought before I did my first camino. I don't think I am going back to attempt to replicate an earlier experience, but I don't suppose I shall know until after the second pilgrimage is over. But then I never have regarded the camino as a place in the world worthy of exploration. And I have never been on another journey with such a strong sense of calling. I don't feel that now, so I shall just have to try to be aware of the possibility of disappointment. I hope to be able to be of service to others and to be open to whatever happens. That is all.
But a Camino pilgrimage is an exploration -- of the road, of Spain, of oneself. I too feel "called" to the Camino; why else would I want to eagerly subject myself to the time, expense, and potential pain of walking 500 miles? I am going to find out for myself what the Camino is all about and for what it might teach me. Perhaps I will learn nothing; perhaps it will be a life-changer. I have no expectations, just a willingness to learn.

The Shikoku temple pilgrimage also calls to me (http://www.walkjapan.com/tour/shikoku-88-temple-pilgrimage/), as stunning and life-changing as the Camino. The Camino is not the only "Way" in the world for a spiritual or religious pilgrimage. So many places are calling to me! I hope I live long enough to visit them all.
 

t2andreo

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
C/F: 2013, 2014
C/M: 2016
C/P: 2015, 2017
C/I: 2018
Voluntario: 2014 to 2017
#56
Ah HA! A positive result! Fabulous! This made my day, The water heater in the home I just bought on Friday literally blew out from the side wall earlier today. Ouch1 Tha t will hurt the current account balance. I was busy all day, a Sunday, trying to arrange a prompt replacement. So I did not have time to review my Forum activity earlier, but I am SO glad I did before heading to bed for the evening.

Gee, I love happy endings... Tania good on you for seeking help and rolling with it. It WILL make your experience on this Camino. Plus, Rebekah values all her many friendships.

I will go out on a limb here and thank everyone who made constructive suggestions and recommendations that contributed in any way to this positive outcome.

Rebekah, thank you for being a friend to anyone who needs one. You are truly a Camino Angel. Best regards to you, Paddy and the menagerie...
 

VNwalking

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Francés (2014, 2015)
St Olav/Francés (2016)
Baztanés/Francés (2017)
Ingles (July 2018)
#57
Tania, thanks for the pics and for letting us all know how it's going for you. It's made my day!
Rebekah, thank you for being a friend to anyone who needs one. You are truly a Camino Angel.
100% agree with Tom. Thank you, Rebekah, for showing what it is to really live your faith while being real at the same time. Not to embarrass...but there's a special place in heaven for folks like you and Paddy. Just saying. ;)
 

movinmaggie

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2015) Scotland GGW (2017) Primitivo (2018) if all vital signs working
#58
Tania, thanks for the pics and for letting us all know how it's going for you. It's made my day!

100% agree with Tom. Thank you, Rebekah, for showing what it is to really live your faith while being real at the same time. Not to embarrass...but there's a special place in heaven for folks like you and Paddy. Just saying. ;)
I started to write something earlier, but stumbled on my words...trying to say - "Rebekha you are my new role model". How does that feel coming from an 80-yr old?? It is still my desire to serve as Hodpitalera in Spring 2017.
 
Camino(s) past & future
December/January 2013/2014
#59
But a Camino pilgrimage is an exploration -- of the road, of Spain, of oneself. I too feel "called" to the Camino; why else would I want to eagerly subject myself to the time, expense, and potential pain of walking 500 miles? I am going to find out for myself what the Camino is all about and for what it might teach me. Perhaps I will learn nothing; perhaps it will be a life-changer. I have no expectations, just a willingness to learn.

The Shikoku temple pilgrimage also calls to me (http://www.walkjapan.com/tour/shikoku-88-temple-pilgrimage/), as stunning and life-changing as the Camino. The Camino is not the only "Way" in the world for a spiritual or religious pilgrimage. So many places are calling to me! I hope I live long enough to visit them all.
I don't expect to do the Camino a 3rd time, but after my first Camino wherein I got Tendinitis and had to skip a huge bunch in the middle, when I reached the pilgrim's office to pick up my Compostela, I burst into tears while waiting in line--the blubbering, body wracking sobs, snot all over you kind of tears. At that point, I knew that St. James and I weren't done. When I started, I expected that it would be my only Camino. Sometimes, it calls you back, and sometimes, you are able to learn what you need to the first time around. Kudos for you that you aren't as hard-headed as some of the rest of us!!!
 

movinmaggie

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2015) Scotland GGW (2017) Primitivo (2018) if all vital signs working
#61
Coming from one I have admired and respected for what you bring to this forum....I am humbled Viranani. Thank you.
 

VNwalking

Veteran Member
Donating Member
Camino(s) past & future
Francés (2014, 2015)
St Olav/Francés (2016)
Baztanés/Francés (2017)
Ingles (July 2018)
#62
And I am blushing. Thank you, movinmaggie for all you bring here. (Well, obviously the feeling's mutual.)
Tania, sorry to derail your thread with this, but perhaps it it's not tangential at all. The Camino's just another place. But it's also a sacred space that can change lives--this you know well--and one that brings strangers together as brothers and sisters regardless of age, nationality, or even religion. Which is a rare thing in the world these days.
 

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