Mean, uncompromising mind

[EmoJohnson]

File under "psychology": I'm currently in Matosinhos. I ended up really enjoying Porto for two days so I delayed the beginning of my camino (but as we all know, it begins when we decide to take it!). I've become absolutely obsessive about not having walked the coast to Matoshinos, I "promised myself" that I'd walk the coast from Porto to Finn. Instead, in a need to check into a hostel, and running out of time, I had to take a short cut and walk the long street Boavista to the ocean. Do any of you have similar obsessive tendencies -- particularly about navigation? I keep thinking I've _failed_since I haven't walked the the coast from my beginning (Porto). Ho hum. The mind has a mean way! It's so early in my Camino so perhaps I can begin to let things go more easily as the days go on...coast or no coast.
(Happy note: deep into Boavista a wonderfully kind young woman left her cafe table and friends to dart across two lanes of traffic to ask me if I needed directions -- I was sidetracked by the sites in a park -- and she wishes me bom camino. That gave me such a lift!)

 

[C clearly]

I do hope you manage to put this into perspective! Maybe after a good night's sleep. It does seem that your criteria for a successful Camino are unreasonably rigid.

 

[Robo]

Are you being overly Obsessive? I think you know the answer

IMHO walking a Camino has little to do with taking shortcuts or not.
It has everything to do with what is your heart as you walk and what you learn during the experience....

Enjoy the people and places you encounter. Those will be your treasured memories, not if you walked a certain stretch of path or road.

Often we seem to be 'taken' from our planned path, amid angst and frustration.....only to find a better one

Hence that frequently used term. The Camino gives you what you need, not what you want.

 

[EmoJohnson]

Than

I do hope you manage to put this into perspective! Maybe after a good night's sleep. It does seem that your criteria for a successful Camino are unreasonably rigid.

Thank you! Perhaps sleep is in order. I hope the OCD shackles fall away and disintegrate on the trail.

 

[EmoJohnson]

Are you being overly Obsessive? I think you know the answer

IMHO walking a Camino has little to do with taking shortcuts or not.
It has everything to do with what is your heart as you walk and what you learn during the experience....

Enjoy the people and places you encounter. Those will be your treasured memories, not if you walked a certain stretch of path or road.

Often we seem to be 'taken' from our planned path, amid angst and frustration.....only to find a better one

Hence that frequently used term. The Camino gives you what you need, not what you want.

Ah! YES! I knew a fellow peregrino could set me straight. I'm going to reference your message with frequency over the next day(s). I need to understand that I'm in the right place no matter the geographical bit. I'm solo traveling so checking the obsessive thoughts against this forum was gold. Tomorrow, I'll move towards Vila do Conde but not worry the outcome.

 

[jo webber]

Tomorrow, I'll move towards Vila do Conde but not worry the outcome.

This is wonderful. To move towards something, someone.
One step at a time, often on a path that has diversions.

Thank you for giving me a warm / smile feeling inside.

 

[HeidiL]

I have a permanently injured knee and hip. If there's a very hilly stretch, particularly with steep descents, I follow the road instead of the signposted camino, and I feel no need to apologise.

In fact, I think to myself, while watching other people struggle, walking the shorter path is probably more "authentic", whatever that might mean. I'm quite certain the medieval pilgrims didn't follow the most scenic route, or try to avoid the road where the ox-carts were. I'm quite convinced they went by the shortest, easiest path. And that's where they built that road...

 

[RobertS26]

I hope the OCD shackles fall away and disintegrate on the trail.

You know what's worse than OCD? CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in the right order.

 

[Kiwi-family]

and if you end up going inland there are some wonderful things to see that way too!

 

[onwayhome]

Great to get a perspective on the thinking mind making plans then having something to say when reality intrudes! You are totally on your Camino by the sound of it.
In any case there's more than one way out of Porto. Enjoy the journey both internal and external, wherever it takes you today.

 

[MKalcolm M]

I set off to walk the Norte a while back, and prior to going was determined I would walk the whole way. To my surprize and delight, I met a lovely lady on the walk and we fell hopelessly in love. (see the thread "Love on the camino" for more details). We decided to walk to Santiago together, but her flight out meant that to do so we would have to skip about 5 days of walking. I could stick to my original goal, and walk the whole way, or loose 100km but walk with someone I was in love with. What do you think I chose?

Fast forward four years, and I was walking the Portuguese Camino with Faith, my 12 year old daughter. We deliberately started in Barcelos, not Porto, as we only had a short time and I didn't want her to have to walk too much each day. Very quickly we formed a camino family and lots of friends, and Faith wanted to keep up with them. We had such a good laugh with our camino friends that she was determined to up our pace, including walking 28km in one day, although we could have stopped after 16km. As it was she became the mascot of the group, getting lots of encouragement from our friends and having good company all along the way. We arrived in Santiago having done 200km in 9 days, which was 2 days ahead of schedule, but surrounded by our friends. Both of us learned a lot from this experience.

Being flexible allows for unexpected events, which makes for an original camino experience. Stop giving yourself a hard time, relax and enjoy what ever comes along.

 

[StepheninDC]

You know what's worse than OCD? CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in the right order.

LOL! My wife and I are fond of that expression, but we add something at the end, i.e. "It's like OCD, but the letters are in the right order, like they should be!"

 

[HeidiL]

ALPHABETICAL order!

 

[Anamya]

On that subject, I've seen how the mind and the sense of "not completing" can be upsetting.
We were on the Portugues last month, and also had a great time in Porto! As it was unexpectedly hot and we were really tired, I chose to take a cab some time after Tui, and hop off a bit before the 100km mark in Porrino, just to get rid of some of the industrial area. We did about 8 km by cab.

My husband went MENTAL. During the 10 min we were in the cab, he was grumpy. We hopped of, started walking towards the city center and he looked at me seriously and said:
- I can't believe we cheated.
- What?
- One is supposed to endure the camino. Good parts and bad parts.
- I know, but we have some time constrains and were so tired...
- NOW I'LL CARRY THIS FAILURE ALL THE WAY!! (yup, yelling)
- Dear, it was just a few km, through an industrial district, and we are still before the 100km mark, and we've been walking since Porto...
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I COMPROMISED FOR WHEN WE DECIDED TO WALK THE CAMINO AGAIN (... include 15 min of anger burst here)

Nothing I said could ease him. I asked if we should call the taxi back, return, change plans - nothing could ease his mind that he had cheated and failed because of that taxi.
I had a hard time holding my tears. Personally, I believe everyone has a different camino, with different challenges, and somewhere up there in heaven God/Saint James/Mother Nature/whoever knows how much effort you put into it. It's not about the amount of kilometers, it's about how much you dedicate yourself to that task. And seeing the man I love completely out of his mind was, to say the least, heartbreaking.

We spent the rest of the day in silence. It was a lonely, sad walk almost until dinner time. He apologised for the discussion, but was still a bit angry and I was still a bit sad.

But the camino provides in the craziest ways and time heals almost everything, right?

The next day, after walking eary in the morning for +- 3km, I noticed my sunglasses were not on top of my head. Ops, they fell somewhere! And it was too hot after sunrise to walk without them.

My husband told me to wait with the backpacks and started jogging back to look for the sunnies. I waited for 20min and got worried. Some other peregrinos stopped by to drink at the fountain and offered to look after my things while I searched for him. I went, leaving our belonging behind with (lovely, blessed) strangers and ran, ran, ran. Found my husband running back, all sweaty, but no sunglasses. He looked everywhere since the albergue!!! We joined the other pilgrims to drink water and look at the map to see if I could buy a new pair of sunglasses the next town.

Then a dude passed by walking his dog. WITH MY SUNGLASSES. I called and asked in Spanish if he found those in the trail. "I did, they were probably lost by a pilgrim. Are they actually yours?" And that's how the sunglasses reappeared.

We laughed, restarted walking, and my husband asked:
- I know I should leave this behind, but do you think me running this morning compensates for yesterday's taxi?
- I believe that if you did it with all your heart to help me and also to "repent" from yesterday, yeah, it does. Although I don't really think you had to do it.
- When I woke up this morning, I saw how exaggerated I was yesterday, dear. I had already decided it had not been cheating, I just needed to ease my mind with some rest. Although when I saw the opportunity to run extra miles today, I just wanted to be sure there would be no room for Saint James to be angry at me (laughing).
- How could anyone be angry at you, the best pilgrim I could walk with? (laughing as well)

And this story ends with a happy kiss
Thanks for reading

 

[CaminoDebrita]

On that subject, I've seen how the mind and the sense of "not completing" can be upsetting.
We were on the Portugues last month, and also had a great time in Porto! As it was unexpectedly hot and we were really tired, I chose to take a cab some time after Tui, and hop off a bit before the 100km mark in Porrino, just to get rid of some of the industrial area. We did about 8 km by cab.

My husband went MENTAL. During the 10 min we were in the cab, he was grumpy. We hopped of, started walking towards the city center and he looked at me seriously and said:
- I can't believe we cheated.
- What?
- One is supposed to endure the camino. Good parts and bad parts.
- I know, but we have some time constrains and were so tired...
- NOW I'LL CARRY THIS FAILURE ALL THE WAY!! (yup, yelling)
- Dear, it was just a few km, through an industrial district, and we are still before the 100km mark, and we've been walking since Porto...
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I COMPROMISED FOR WHEN WE DECIDED TO WALK THE CAMINO AGAIN (... include 15 min of anger burst here)

Nothing I said could ease him. I asked if we should call the taxi back, return, change plans - nothing could ease his mind that he had cheated and failed because of that taxi.
I had a hard time holding my tears. Personally, I believe everyone has a different camino, with different challenges, and somewhere up there in heaven God/Saint James/Mother Nature/whoever knows how much effort you put into it. It's not about the amount of kilometers, it's about how much you dedicate yourself to that task. And seeing the man I love completely out of his mind was, to say the least, heartbreaking.

We spent the rest of the day in silence. It was a lonely, sad walk almost until dinner time. He apologised for the discussion, but was still a bit angry and I was still a bit sad.

But the camino provides in the craziest ways and time heals almost everything, right?

The next day, after walking eary in the morning for +- 3km, I noticed my sunglasses were not on top of my head. Ops, they fell somewhere! And it was too hot after sunrise to walk without them.

My husband told me to wait with the backpacks and started jogging back to look for the sunnies. I waited for 20min and got worried. Some other peregrinos stopped by to drink at the fountain and offered to look after my things while I searched for him. I went, leaving our belonging behind with (lovely, blessed) strangers and ran, ran, ran. Found my husband running back, all sweaty, but no sunglasses. He looked everywhere since the albergue!!! We joined the other pilgrims to drink water and look at the map to see if I could buy a new pair of sunglasses the next town.

Then a dude passed by walking his dog. WITH MY SUNGLASSES. I called and asked in Spanish if he found those in the trail. "I did, they were probably lost by a pilgrim. Are they actually yours?" And that's how the sunglasses reappeared.

We laughed, restarted walking, and my husband asked:
- I know I should leave this behind, but do you think me running this morning compensates for yesterday's taxi?
- I believe that if you did it with all your heart to help me and also to "repent" from yesterday, yeah, it does. Although I don't really think you had to do it.
- When I woke up this morning, I saw how exaggerated I was yesterday, dear. I had already decided it had not been cheating, I just needed to ease my mind with some rest. Although when I saw the opportunity to run extra miles today, I just wanted to be sure there would be no room for Saint James to be angry at me (laughing).
- How could anyone be angry at you, the best pilgrim I could walk with? (laughing as well)

And this story ends with a happy kiss
Thanks for reading

I loved your story!

 

[Donna Sch]

The only stretch I didn't walk was the few kilometres from Caparra to the Hotel Asturias. I hadn't planned to stop there and had hoped to go to Oliva but we heard the accommodation was closed there that day and it was stinking hot and we had just run out of water and the Visitors Centre with the vending machine inside had closed 10 minutes early and we got there 5 minutes before closing time...
It would have been dangerous to walk and I had no qualms ringing up. So a few km not walked. Believe me, Santiago got me back the day I walked from A Gudina to Verin where I did about 18 odd km more than expected. But the walk from Verin to Laza is very pleasant. A pilgrimage is from where you start to where you finish. How you join the dots on the map is still a pilgrimage even if the route is not the "official" one.

 

[Bradypus]

I am a bit of an obsessive about walking ALL the way from start to finish without using transport - though not about following any one fixed route. A couple of years ago I walked the Via Francigena from Canterbury to Rome. Except, of course, I didn't really. I had to take a ferry for the wet part from Dover to Calais. To this day there is still a small nagging part of me which says that I am a cheat and there is unfinished business there. Ludicrous but true

 

[Donna Sch]

So Bradypus, when are you going to row across the Channel?

 

[Bradypus]

So Bradypus, when are you going to row across the Channel?

Funny you should ask. I did build myself a boat and paddled/rowed about 140 miles down the Thames a few years ago. Not sure I'd fancy the open sea though. I'll wait until someone reopens the Channel Tunnel maintenance tunnel for foot traffic again. Very jealous of the people who got the chance to walk through it as a charity fundraiser before the official opening

 

[EmoJohnson]

You know what's worse than OCD? CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in the right order.

OMG, yes!!!!!

 

[EmoJohnson]

I set off to walk the Norte a while back, and prior to going was determined I would walk the whole way. To my surprize and delight, I met a lovely lady on the walk and we fell hopelessly in love. (see the thread "Love on the camino" for more details). We decided to walk to Santiago together, but her flight out meant that to do so we would have to skip about 5 days of walking. I could stick to my original goal, and walk the whole way, or loose 100km but walk with someone I was in love with. What do you think I chose?

Fast forward four years, and I was walking the Portuguese Camino with Faith, my 12 year old daughter. We deliberately started in Barcelos, not Porto, as we only had a short time and I didn't want her to have to walk too much each day. Very quickly we formed a camino family and lots of friends, and Faith wanted to keep up with them. We had such a good laugh with our camino friends that she was determined to up our pace, including walking 28km in one day, although we could have stopped after 16km. As it was she became the mascot of the group, getting lots of encouragement from our friends and having good company all along the way. We arrived in Santiago having done 200km in 9 days, which was 2 days ahead of schedule, but surrounded by our friends. Both of us learned a lot from this experience.

Being flexible allows for unexpected events, which makes for an original camino experience. Stop giving yourself a hard time, relax and enjoy what ever comes along.

Gotta have "faith"!!

 

[EmoJohnson]

On that subject, I've seen how the mind and the sense of "not completing" can be upsetting.
We were on the Portugues last month, and also had a great time in Porto! As it was unexpectedly hot and we were really tired, I chose to take a cab some time after Tui, and hop off a bit before the 100km mark in Porrino, just to get rid of some of the industrial area. We did about 8 km by cab.

My husband went MENTAL. During the 10 min we were in the cab, he was grumpy. We hopped of, started walking towards the city center and he looked at me seriously and said:
- I can't believe we cheated.
- What?
- One is supposed to endure the camino. Good parts and bad parts.
- I know, but we have some time constrains and were so tired...
- NOW I'LL CARRY THIS FAILURE ALL THE WAY!! (yup, yelling)
- Dear, it was just a few km, through an industrial district, and we are still before the 100km mark, and we've been walking since Porto...
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I COMPROMISED FOR WHEN WE DECIDED TO WALK THE CAMINO AGAIN (... include 15 min of anger burst here)

Nothing I said could ease him. I asked if we should call the taxi back, return, change plans - nothing could ease his mind that he had cheated and failed because of that taxi.
I had a hard time holding my tears. Personally, I believe everyone has a different camino, with different challenges, and somewhere up there in heaven God/Saint James/Mother Nature/whoever knows how much effort you put into it. It's not about the amount of kilometers, it's about how much you dedicate yourself to that task. And seeing the man I love completely out of his mind was, to say the least, heartbreaking.

We spent the rest of the day in silence. It was a lonely, sad walk almost until dinner time. He apologised for the discussion, but was still a bit angry and I was still a bit sad.

But the camino provides in the craziest ways and time heals almost everything, right?

The next day, after walking eary in the morning for +- 3km, I noticed my sunglasses were not on top of my head. Ops, they fell somewhere! And it was too hot after sunrise to walk without them.

My husband told me to wait with the backpacks and started jogging back to look for the sunnies. I waited for 20min and got worried. Some other peregrinos stopped by to drink at the fountain and offered to look after my things while I searched for him. I went, leaving our belonging behind with (lovely, blessed) strangers and ran, ran, ran. Found my husband running back, all sweaty, but no sunglasses. He looked everywhere since the albergue!!! We joined the other pilgrims to drink water and look at the map to see if I could buy a new pair of sunglasses the next town.

Then a dude passed by walking his dog. WITH MY SUNGLASSES. I called and asked in Spanish if he found those in the trail. "I did, they were probably lost by a pilgrim. Are they actually yours?" And that's how the sunglasses reappeared.

We laughed, restarted walking, and my husband asked:
- I know I should leave this behind, but do you think me running this morning compensates for yesterday's taxi?
- I believe that if you did it with all your heart to help me and also to "repent" from yesterday, yeah, it does. Although I don't really think you had to do it.
- When I woke up this morning, I saw how exaggerated I was yesterday, dear. I had already decided it had not been cheating, I just needed to ease my mind with some rest. Although when I saw the opportunity to run extra miles today, I just wanted to be sure there would be no room for Saint James to be angry at me (laughing).
- How could anyone be angry at you, the best pilgrim I could walk with? (laughing as well)

And this story ends with a happy kiss
Thanks for reading

I so love this story!! (I read it near Vila do Conde while looking out a glass window, seeing 7 happy pilgrims...) Saint James is smiling.

 

[MKalcolm M]

Gotta have "faith"!!

That's how my daughter got her name: Every time her mother got nervous during the pregnancy or worried about having a child, I would talk it through with her and say "Just have faith". When a little girl was born, it seemed the obvious name for her. She has a very bubbly personality, so she got the nick- name "Fizzi" which suits her equally well. (though sometimes as a single dad, trying to stay ahead of a
pre-teen, I tell her it was all a mistake and she should have been named Trouble!)
Here is a picture of her on the Portugese camino, continuing in her quest to turn my hair grey.

 

[Anamya]

Oooh, it that in picture in the Valença do Minho fortress?

 

[HeidiL]

We skipped a section on the Francés the first time, and went back several years later to walk it. Not because we felt we'd cheated, but because we wanted to see that bit as well.

 

[EmoJohnson]

That's how my daughter got her name: Every time her mother got nervous during the pregnancy or worried about having a child, I would talk it through with her and say "Just have faith". When a little girl was born, it seemed the obvious name for her. She has a very bubbly personality, so she got the nick- name "Fizzi" which suits her equally well. (though sometimes as a single dad, trying to stay ahead of a
pre-teen, I tell her it was all a mistake and she should have been named Trouble!)
Here is a picture of her on the Portugese camino, continuing in her quest to turn my hair grey.
View attachment 34068

I can tell she's delightful! I love this story of how her name came to be.

 

[HighlandsHiker]

That's how my daughter got her name: Every time her mother got nervous during the pregnancy or worried about having a child, I would talk it through with her and say "Just have faith". When a little girl was born, it seemed the obvious name for her. She has a very bubbly personality, so she got the nick- name "Fizzi" which suits her equally well. (though sometimes as a single dad, trying to stay ahead of a
pre-teen, I tell her it was all a mistake and she should have been named Trouble!)
Here is a picture of her on the Portugese camino, continuing in her quest to turn my hair grey.
View attachment 34068

Priceless picture! It gets easier in about 12 years:0)).

 

[KinkyOne]

On that subject, I've seen how the mind and the sense of "not completing" can be upsetting.
We were on the Portugues last month, and also had a great time in Porto! As it was unexpectedly hot and we were really tired, I chose to take a cab some time after Tui, and hop off a bit before the 100km mark in Porrino, just to get rid of some of the industrial area. We did about 8 km by cab.

My husband went MENTAL. During the 10 min we were in the cab, he was grumpy. We hopped of, started walking towards the city center and he looked at me seriously and said:
- I can't believe we cheated.
- What?
- One is supposed to endure the camino. Good parts and bad parts.
- I know, but we have some time constrains and were so tired...
- NOW I'LL CARRY THIS FAILURE ALL THE WAY!! (yup, yelling)
- Dear, it was just a few km, through an industrial district, and we are still before the 100km mark, and we've been walking since Porto...
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I COMPROMISED FOR WHEN WE DECIDED TO WALK THE CAMINO AGAIN (... include 15 min of anger burst here)

Nothing I said could ease him. I asked if we should call the taxi back, return, change plans - nothing could ease his mind that he had cheated and failed because of that taxi.
I had a hard time holding my tears. Personally, I believe everyone has a different camino, with different challenges, and somewhere up there in heaven God/Saint James/Mother Nature/whoever knows how much effort you put into it. It's not about the amount of kilometers, it's about how much you dedicate yourself to that task. And seeing the man I love completely out of his mind was, to say the least, heartbreaking.

We spent the rest of the day in silence. It was a lonely, sad walk almost until dinner time. He apologised for the discussion, but was still a bit angry and I was still a bit sad.

But the camino provides in the craziest ways and time heals almost everything, right?

The next day, after walking eary in the morning for +- 3km, I noticed my sunglasses were not on top of my head. Ops, they fell somewhere! And it was too hot after sunrise to walk without them.

My husband told me to wait with the backpacks and started jogging back to look for the sunnies. I waited for 20min and got worried. Some other peregrinos stopped by to drink at the fountain and offered to look after my things while I searched for him. I went, leaving our belonging behind with (lovely, blessed) strangers and ran, ran, ran. Found my husband running back, all sweaty, but no sunglasses. He looked everywhere since the albergue!!! We joined the other pilgrims to drink water and look at the map to see if I could buy a new pair of sunglasses the next town.

Then a dude passed by walking his dog. WITH MY SUNGLASSES. I called and asked in Spanish if he found those in the trail. "I did, they were probably lost by a pilgrim. Are they actually yours?" And that's how the sunglasses reappeared.

We laughed, restarted walking, and my husband asked:
- I know I should leave this behind, but do you think me running this morning compensates for yesterday's taxi?
- I believe that if you did it with all your heart to help me and also to "repent" from yesterday, yeah, it does. Although I don't really think you had to do it.
- When I woke up this morning, I saw how exaggerated I was yesterday, dear. I had already decided it had not been cheating, I just needed to ease my mind with some rest. Although when I saw the opportunity to run extra miles today, I just wanted to be sure there would be no room for Saint James to be angry at me (laughing).
- How could anyone be angry at you, the best pilgrim I could walk with? (laughing as well)

And this story ends with a happy kiss
Thanks for reading

That's one hell of a true Camino story with all of its dramaturgical "cliff-hangers"

Thanks for posting!