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My reasons for the pilgrimage

Frank Mestre

Let’s Camino
Time of past OR future Camino
1st. Camino coming up 29th. April
Camino Frances here I come.
I completed my 920k in June this year from SJPDP to Finestierre. Wow! Wow wow! I’m enjoyed every step. So many pilgrims I met on the journey had their very personsal
reasons for embarking on such a arduous and at times thankless trek. At 62 I have been with my now wife for twenty odd years and we had been doing everything together. She was/is my sole mate in fact my only true friend. But at 62 I am ready and in a good position to go and explore the world, take time out away for months if necessary. But she at 52 is not. She is happy with two weeks in a posh hotel etc. So we were st a massive crossroads in our lives/relationship. Which way should I go? was the question. We argued and argued about her not wanting to do the
camino with me. I had never spent time on my own and I was terrified. In fact so much so that I aborted the same trek which I had planned with flights paid for the year before. So on the 31st.Msy I left on my own, still terrified. I can honestly say the moment I arrived in Biatitz airport and came across three others people with packs on their back and ended up sharing a cab with. I never looked back. I can now truly say I am
100% glad my wife didn’t come with me as we would have probably been separated by now. In fact and she knows this. I truly love her but I didn’t miss her at all. Often I forgot about my life back home as I was so absorbed in my life in the present. That and the amazing people I met were by far the highlights of my camino. I am now back and our relationship is very much on track. I have at last ‘grown up’ and come to terms that I’m ok on my own. I’ve realised that it’s ok for her not to want to do ALL the things I want. Thank you so my Camino. I’m so looking forward to my next Camino ( del Norte) next year.
 
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The first edition came out in 2003 and has become the go-to-guide for many pilgrims over the years. It is shipping with a Pilgrim Passport (Credential) from the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela.
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I‘m happy to hear that you enjoyed the trip on your own! And i have the same opinion like you - it‘s really OK if two people as a couple like different things and have different hobbies as long as you love and accept each other the way they are. Wish you happiness always!
 
Ian and I have just finished our Camino last week. Before we started I said: 800km! I have so much to tell you. Every afternoon after our showers I checked his feet for blisters because he doesn’t complain. Every morning, first thing, I taped his feet, because he can’t bend easily, and while I did my feet, he folded my liner and rolled up my sleeping bag. Whenever possible, in all the albergues he brought me coffee to bed. He checked my water supply and carried it as well. Because I’m not a morning person, he put up with my grumpiness for an hour before I ‘normalised’. We had our normal marital ups and downs but usually managed to sort it out before days end. I never got to tell him all that I wanted to because we met so many people and I listened sometimes more than I spoke. I also got to know him better than before. We shared so many wonderful moments and friendships that the days just flew by. And then we were finished. Perhaps we have to do another Camino so that I can tell him what I wanted to.
 
Ian and I have just finished our Camino last week. Before we started I said: 800km! I have so much to tell you. Every afternoon after our showers I checked his feet for blisters because he doesn’t complain. Every morning, first thing, I taped his feet, because he can’t bend easily, and while I did my feet, he folded my liner and rolled up my sleeping bag. Whenever possible, in all the albergues he brought me coffee to bed. He checked my water supply and carried it as well. Because I’m not a morning person, he put up with my grumpiness for an hour before I ‘normalised’. We had our normal marital ups and downs but usually managed to sort it out before days end. I never got to tell him all that I wanted to because we met so many people and I listened sometimes more than I spoke. I also got to know him better than before. We shared so many wonderful moments and friendships that the days just flew by. And then we were finished. Perhaps we have to do another Camino so that I can tell him what I wanted to.
That sounds like a wonderful marriage and Camino together! But I think that the important message from @Frank Mestre's post is that, for many of us, it is not going to happen that way, for many reasons.

Don't give up on either your spouse or your Camino plans, just because they don't go together!
 
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It is so good to hear from you again Frank. I remember your posts from before you went and were considering the Camino. I’m so glad it was a meaningful experience for you. It is good to know that we can have these experiences on our own and yet still be in strong relationships.
 
It is so good to hear from you again Frank. I remember your posts from before you went and were considering the Camino. I’m so glad it was a meaningful experience for you. It is good to know that we can have these experiences on our own and yet still be in strong relationships.
Hey Tom hope your well. Thank you too true. Can’t wait till the next one IF I get my knee sorted. I’m bone on bone aparantly and I’m in pain. I’m strengthening the muscles around the knee at the moment, hope it’ll work. Kind regards mate.
 
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That sounds like a wonderful marriage and Camino together! But I think that the important message from @Frank Mestre's post is that, for many of us, it is not going to happen that way, for many reasons.

Don't give up on either your spouse or your Camino plans, just because they don't go together!
Spot on
That sounds like a wonderful marriage and Camino together! But I think that the important message from @Frank Mestre's post is that, for many of us, it is not going to happen that way, for many reasons.

Don't give up on either your spouse or your Camino plans, just because they don't go together!
Spot on C clearly.
 
I completed my 920k in June this year from SJPDP to Finestierre. Wow! Wow wow! I’m enjoyed every step. So many pilgrims I met on the journey had their very personsal
reasons for embarking on such a arduous and at times thankless trek. At 62 I have been with my now wife for twenty odd years and we had been doing everything together. She was/is my sole mate in fact my only true friend. But at 62 I am ready and in a good position to go and explore the world, take time out away for months if necessary. But she at 52 is not. She is happy with two weeks in a posh hotel etc. So we were st a massive crossroads in our lives/relationship. Which way should I go? was the question. We argued and argued about her not wanting to do the
camino with me. I had never spent time on my own and I was terrified. In fact so much so that I aborted the same trek which I had planned with flights paid for the year before. So on the 31st.Msy I left on my own, still terrified. I can honestly say the moment I arrived in Biatitz airport and came across three others people with packs on their back and ended up sharing a cab with. I never looked back. I can now truly say I am
100% glad my wife didn’t come with me as we would have probably been separated by now. In fact and she knows this. I truly love her but I didn’t miss her at all. Often I forgot about my life back home as I was so absorbed in my life in the present. That and the amazing people I met were by far the highlights of my camino. I am now back and our relationship is very much on track. I have at last ‘grown up’ and come to terms that I’m ok on my own. I’ve realised that it’s ok for her not to want to do ALL the things I want. Thank you so my Camino. I’m so looking forward to my next Camino ( del Norte) next year.
Hello Frank Terry here, If you look at some of my posts you will find your self in them .
If I had written your post I would not have change a word. Thank you so much for saying what you have said . You have addressed the elephant in the room a wife that either cant or wont do it and the realization that it has turned out for the best, as it did for me.
I am now going back next April with my forty year old daughter I could not be more pleased. Good lick and God bless for your next Camino,s;):).
 
It works both ways. My husband, whom I deeply love and cherish and travel well with was not interested in the Camino. I went anyway & truly enjoyed being away and coming back to share what I had experienced. He's heard so much about it, he may even do a little bit of the Camino in the future!
 
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I completed my 920k in June this year from SJPDP to Finestierre. Wow! Wow wow! I’m enjoyed every step. So many pilgrims I met on the journey had their very personsal
reasons for embarking on such a arduous and at times thankless trek. At 62 I have been with my now wife for twenty odd years and we had been doing everything together. She was/is my sole mate in fact my only true friend. But at 62 I am ready and in a good position to go and explore the world, take time out away for months if necessary. But she at 52 is not. She is happy with two weeks in a posh hotel etc. So we were st a massive crossroads in our lives/relationship. Which way should I go? was the question. We argued and argued about her not wanting to do the
camino with me. I had never spent time on my own and I was terrified. In fact so much so that I aborted the same trek which I had planned with flights paid for the year before. So on the 31st.Msy I left on my own, still terrified. I can honestly say the moment I arrived in Biatitz airport and came across three others people with packs on their back and ended up sharing a cab with. I never looked back. I can now truly say I am
100% glad my wife didn’t come with me as we would have probably been separated by now. In fact and she knows this. I truly love her but I didn’t miss her at all. Often I forgot about my life back home as I was so absorbed in my life in the present. That and the amazing people I met were by far the highlights of my camino. I am now back and our relationship is very much on track. I have at last ‘grown up’ and come to terms that I’m ok on my own. I’ve realised that it’s ok for her not to want to do ALL the things I want. Thank you so my Camino. I’m so looking forward to my next Camino ( del Norte) next year.
Hi Frank, Congratulations on your Camino and on your journey of growth, personal discovery, and liberation from fear! I too am 62 and will be following your footsteps in April. I’m really looking forward to it. You described so well my experience of facing living alone following my divorce almost 20 years ago after 20 years of marriage. I remember that era so well. This time of my life parallels yours in that my fear now is facing retirement without having a fortune in the bank. They say that you discover the REAL reason for walking the Camino as you walk it. One of my reasons for thinking of it now is to help me with this transition. Thanks again for sharing! Tom
 
Hey Tom hope your well. Thank you too true. Can’t wait till the next one IF I get my knee sorted. I’m bone on bone aparantly and I’m in pain. I’m strengthening the muscles around the knee at the moment, hope it’ll work. Kind regards mate.

So glad you found what you were seeking on the Camino Frank.
And well done for overcoming all those initial worries.

Maybe we'll meet out there on the path one day, I hope so.

Though my knees are screwed too after the last one :oops:
 
I completed my 920k in June this year from SJPDP to Finestierre. Wow! Wow wow! I’m enjoyed every step. So many pilgrims I met on the journey had their very personsal
reasons for embarking on such a arduous and at times thankless trek. At 62 I have been with my now wife for twenty odd years and we had been doing everything together. She was/is my sole mate in fact my only true friend. But at 62 I am ready and in a good position to go and explore the world, take time out away for months if necessary. But she at 52 is not. She is happy with two weeks in a posh hotel etc. So we were st a massive crossroads in our lives/relationship. Which way should I go? was the question. We argued and argued about her not wanting to do the
camino with me. I had never spent time on my own and I was terrified. In fact so much so that I aborted the same trek which I had planned with flights paid for the year before. So on the 31st.Msy I left on my own, still terrified. I can honestly say the moment I arrived in Biatitz airport and came across three others people with packs on their back and ended up sharing a cab with. I never looked back. I can now truly say I am
100% glad my wife didn’t come with me as we would have probably been separated by now. In fact and she knows this. I truly love her but I didn’t miss her at all. Often I forgot about my life back home as I was so absorbed in my life in the present. That and the amazing people I met were by far the highlights of my camino. I am now back and our relationship is very much on track. I have at last ‘grown up’ and come to terms that I’m ok on my own. I’ve realised that it’s ok for her not to want to do ALL the things I want. Thank you so my Camino. I’m so looking forward to my next Camino ( del Norte) next year.
Frank, you did the right thing. At 64, I left for Paris by myself for a month to study the language. My husband would have not enjoyed it at all (we are soul-mates and have been married for 11 years). He joined me after a month to tour southern France and was very happy doing so. Then, 6 months later, I had the opportunity to take a trek with 5 others in Nepal. My husband had no interest in doing this but kindly suggested I not miss this opportunity if I truly wanted to do it. I went for a month and it was fantastic. I never missed him either times as they were such great, exciting adventures. We pick up where we left off and are happy as clams. Our spouses don't always have to like the same things to make a happy marriage. We do a lot of traveling overseas together and hold great memories, but we also are comfortable in traveling alone too. Good for you!!! Have many other happy adventures with and without your spouse!
 
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Frank, you did the right thing. At 64, I left for Paris by myself for a month to study the language. My husband would have not enjoyed it at all (we are soul-mates and have been married for 11 years). He joined me after a month to tour southern France and was very happy doing so. Then, 6 months later, I had the opportunity to take a trek with 5 others in Nepal. My husband had no interest in doing this but kindly suggested I not miss this opportunity if I truly wanted to do it. I went for a month and it was fantastic. I never missed him either times as they were such great, exciting adventures. We pick up where we left off and are happy as clams. Our spouses don't always have to like the same things to make a happy marriage. We do a lot of traveling overseas together and hold great memories, but we also are comfortable in traveling alone too. Good for you!!! Have many other happy adventures with and without your spouse!
Oh, forgot to mention we are BOTH doing the Portuguese coastal/central in March of 2019 and it will be our first Camino.
 
Does anybody have an article they would recommend for my wife who is very wary of me walking this age 60 alone? I’m looking for something written that would respect fully sell her on the idea. Positive reasons or outcomes that would be attractive for the one staying behind. I really want to do the CF in june 19 so time is drawing very near
 
I also agree - I am walking on my own and my partner of 26 years will be at home - he is happy to let me do my own thing and this for me is the basis of a very strong relationship- I love him all the more for being so supportive of everything I do and I of course am there for him- whatever works - every relationship is different
 
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Does anybody have an article they would recommend for my wife who is very wary of me walking this age 60 alone? I’m looking for something written that would respect fully sell her on the idea. Positive reasons or outcomes that would be attractive for the one staying behind. I really want to do the CF in june 19 so time is drawing very near
Let her read and search this forum. Do forum searches together. In two weeks time, probably less, we will have another Camino addict.

Probably shouldn't have written this: More traffic, less beds... (I am soon 65, heading out again in less than 2 months, so just get going...)
 
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Now it comes to the nuances of a foreign language. "Wary" means? She is worried about you, that you couldn´t manage it in your age or she doesn´t want you to walk alone, without her?

The CF has a very good infrastructure. You can walk as far as you want, every 6 or 8 kilometers is an Albergue with at least a little shop or a bar. Once in a day you will come to a place you could catch the bus, in the case you have problems or you have to go home, because something happened.

For me the most attractive reason to walk the camino is the freedom for a few weeks and everything that is related to this. The freedom from everything. You are the boss of your time, you decide alone at what time you get up, how long you will walk, which Albergue you will choose. You did not promise anyone to be there at...........

You can make mistakes without risks for others, propably the first time in a long time. The backpack is too havy, the stage too long, the water too less - only your problem. It was all in your hand, you decided to make it like you did. No one to blame for it. Fantastic.

There is so less "I have to" on the way and there is so much "but I want", or also "I don´t want".

Normally everyone has the "rule" talking to unknown people - no politics, no religion.
But on the Camino you will talk to completely unknown people, from a different country and a different culture, about your feelings, your sorrows, your hopes and many other things, like you never talked to a good friend, even if you know him for years - or because you know him for years?

You will meet interesting, even fascinating people, you will talk with them intensively- and separate. That´s Camino. You will make new friends, and you will loose people you like during your way.
And you have soooo much time - time for everything.......walking and talking, singing and praying, laughing and crying, thinking and drinking.............

All these valuable experiences are for free, but the price is: Walking in every weather and sleeping with many people, often nearly without privacy, in a big room. But all that´s worth it.

I wish everyone that he may experience this great feeling once in a lifetime.
 

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