not the Camino I had envisioned

[CaminoKate0214]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

 

[sabbott]

So sorry to hear this, CaminoKate. Please keep us posted. and let us know how you both are doing.

 

[RobertS26]

Sometimes the locals shout, "Ultreia!" as you pass by them on the Camino. It's exact meaning has been debated on this forum before. But loosely translated it means, "Onward!", "Forward!" and "You can do this!".

So to you and your husband, I shout, "Ultreia!".

 

[CaminoKate0214]

Knowing how to go forward in the face of terminal cancer and impending widowhood is the toughest challenge I think I have ever faced or will ever face.

 

[VNwalking]

CaminoKate...I am very sorry to read this and wish you both all strength for the way ahead. This is a hill to climb, indeed.
Please know you are not alone, and please if you can let us know how you're doing.
I sent you a PM.

 

[Deleted member 43985]

Treatments evolve, medicines come on the market, miracles happen... I hope you both find it in you to fight this will all you've got. God Bless.

 

[petro]

So sorry to hear this CaminoKate. God be with you.

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

Katie, I wish you both all the strength on the "journey " ahead.

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

Dearest Kate
We all struggle for words at times like this. Kind words and wise words and words of comfort, hope and support.

Please know that you do not walk this Way alone. As on the Camino, your Forum compañeros walk with you as much or little as you want or need.

Take care of yourself on this extraordinary journey.

 

[Joodle]

Oh Honey!!! I am so sorry that you and your husband are going through this right now. This is a good place to connect with people who have been through these types of life experiences. You can rant and rave and we will be here to try and support you. Knowing that you're are facing his life's end, can be a truly spiritual growing time. You can be honest and say the things that are in your heart and support each other in your fears. I will remember you in my prayers and as I make my Camino in May.

 

[Kanga]

Dear Kate, I am so very sorry to hear this. You face a very steep mountain, and no words can change that. Take it step by step. One foot in front of the other. Keep breathing. Here is the thread started by our @JohnnieWalker advising that prayers can be said at the Cathedral, when you cannot make the pilgrimage : https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/not-coming-to-santiago-send-your-prayers.39067/

 

[NualaOC]

Oh Katie, that's an unimaginably tough journey for both of you. Your husband is lucky to have you by his side. Wishing you both strength and comfort as you walk this road, one moment at a time. Ultreia.

 

[mspath]

Kate,

May you and your husband both find the inner strength necessary to persevere.

Margaret Meredith

 

[MeanPhilippine]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

Hi Katie,
My aunt past away from the same ailment. We had her for 3 mos after diagnoses. Although I can't comprehend what you're going through, completely, I can relate just a bit. I start my Camino early April and 2 weeks ago one of my good friend was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.
I will keep your husband in mind and light a candle for him at every church along the Camino, which I'm doing for my friend also. If you don't mind, what is his name?
I have to say that the reason of my Camino is becoming more purposeful and meaningful, as i get closer to it, rather than just a recreational hike.
I will pray for you and your husband.
Buen Camino...

Joel

 

[Waka]

You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[camino07]

Dear Kate
You and your husband have a struggle ahead ,I'm so sorry to hear this. Keep thinking positively,I heard recently of a man still alive and kicking 5 years after a terminal diagnosis.
My own brother-in-law is feeling very well after his chemo has finished ( for stage4 lung ca). He and my sister have booked for a trip to Scotland in July.
Blessings to you
Heather

 

[SabsP]

Katie,

My thoughts are with you. Ultreia ultreia indeed.

A virtual hug. X

 

[Angie94]

Kate,
Thank you for sharing with us what is taking place in your life in order for your camino forum brothers and sisters to support you as you "walk" down this difficult part of your journey.

So many thoughtful and kind words have been shared thus far and I, too, want to offer a prayer for strength, courage and hope.

 

[Stephen Nicholls]

Katie my dear ... I cannot begin to understand what you are both going through.
A lot of peregrinos - and a I mean a LOT - walk the camino in memory of a loved one.
Each step you take will remind you of your best loved man.
And he will be with you in spirit.
Blessings, and a 'virtual hug'......

 

[kwhitesel]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

I'll be praying for you and your husband.

 

[purplesage]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

Katie, my heart goes out to you. I've lost two family members to the Big C... and I hate the dashed thing. You have been called by Our Saviour to realize what a special person you are. I arrive in The Holy City tomorrow at 8.30 pm. Rest assured, you will be in my prayers. Buen Camino, precious Sister. May the Holy Spirit be with you always. Caesar

 

[purplesage]

Kate,
Thank you for sharing with us what is taking place in your life in order for your camino forum brothers and sisters to support you as you "walk" down this difficult part of your journey.

So many thoughtful and kind words have been shared thus far and I, too, want to offer a prayer for strength, courage and hope.

Angie, this is probably Katie's special Camino. Be blessed, Angie. Caesar

 

[gigibarry]

Oh Katie, my heart goes out to you and your husband. I pray that you will both find the strength and healing you need to see you through each day.

Glenda

 

[Harington]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

My prayers go with you and him for this journey

 

[movinmaggie]

Kate, I am so sorry..... may you find enough strength for both of you and when need more, keep coming back here.

 

[wayfarer]

Katie, so sorry to hear your sad news, my thoughts are with you and your husband.
Ultreia!

 

[David]

Sorry to hear that news Kate. Chemo really does have rather ghastly side effects. Could I suggest that you investigate Cannabis Oil? Google and Youtube have lots of information and testimonies .... he isn't gone yet ... don't shrug this possibility off, please ... this man had stage 4 Pancreatic ...

-

May the Good God Bless you both during this. xx

 

[Raelyn Crossley]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

I'm so sorry for you both.
Maybe try looking into cannabis oil as an alternative or to help with nausea from chemo? Many people swear by it for combating cancer. Just a thought to look into.
You're both on a hard road. My prayers are with you.

 

[LesBrass]

Other people seem to find better wiser words... and I dont seem to be able to think of any. When cancer calls, no matter the outcome, it changes us forever... I wish you both courage and peace during your journey.

 

[Kialoa3]

Peace and love from all to you and your husband. The journey home is always filled with challenges, but together you will find your way.

 

[AlexCiccio]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

Hi Kare, I was deeply saddened to read your post. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Alex

 

[Milliemid]

I'm so sorry to hear your devastating news. Enjoy your time together and know you've much support, thoughts and prayers with you. Camilla

 

[aliwalks]

Knowing how to go forward in the face of terminal cancer and impending widowhood is the toughest challenge I think I have ever faced or will ever face.

So sad to hear this Camino Kate praying for you and your husband to have the strength you will need,

 

[movinmaggie]

I'm so sorry for you both.
Maybe try looking into cannabis oil as an alternative or to help with nausea from chemo? Many people swear by it for combating cancer. Just a thought to look into.
You're both on a hard road. My prayers are with you.

Raelyn I just sent you a PM. See your IN box.

 

[Montana Jayne]

Ah Kate, I am so sorry about your husband's diagnosis. May the camino spirit be with you each and every day to give you a gentle and patient heart and joy in the time you are together. Peace.

 

[gittiharre]

Dear Katie. I am thinking of you both and hope your husband will not have to go through too much suffering on this journey. I hope you are surrounded by loving family and friends.

 

[Pruden]

All The strength to you !
Sorry to hear this news about your husband illness , I think you are moved by a strong force beyond our reason can undertand !
All I can say is keep going , live this experience in a positive way !
My prays and thought are with you and your husband , is not on our hands to solve this problem , so just watch it from the distance you are given !
Buen Camino for both of you , wherever it lead you ,be open!

 

[smj6]

My thoughts & prayers are with you both, Katie
Suzanne

 

[nathalie stephens]

dear Katie

I am so sorry, I lost my beloved husband to Pancreatic Cancer in October 2014. It was terrible and I know nothing I can say will make it better.
This year I am going to walk my first Camino, Kevin, my Husband, was supposed to walk with me last year for my 50th, and now I am taking his ashes with me to the end of the world. I think he would like that! I will pray that your out come is different , don't give up hope, for him and for yourself. Spend as much time together as possible , talk about everything, make videos and recordings of your voices. these will be nice to have even if you both live to be 100 years.I will add you to my prayers. F**K cancer!! best wishes and lots of love
Nathalie

 

[Mike Trebert]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

Dear Katie,

No words will get you and your husband through the months ahead. Every day, you will discover how to keep going. I recently lost my partner to cancer and I've also lost two children, my closest friend died of cancer and another dear friend of hep C. My first love died when we were both 20.

In the future you will wonder how you made it but you will find that somehow you have managed to be still standing, still moving forward. Every day. That may seem unfair to you. Seem.

I write this from Madrid, I arrived from my home in Australia 3 days ago. I start my Camino Frances in 7 days. I won't be alone. I text my son almost every day and mailed my granddaughter a postcard today. I'll send her a postcard every week. I also have twin baby granddaughters who need a grandfather today and every day.

To them it's always now.Every day they teach me about today.

Mike

 

[Saint Mike II]

Kate - also very sorry to hear your sad news. I am not aware of David's "cure" however may I suggest that you and husband not give up. There are a number of alternative treatments that may extend the time you have together. (another Mike)

 

[willydp]

Sad to hear
The Big C...again
After all the nice words said before I can only add "Never ever give up" ...
Ultreia!

 

[MaidinBham]

Kate, thank you for sharing this story. I am reminded of my 1st Camino, when I met a young German women at Orisson. She borrowed my sink stopper, and I teased her as she had not done her laundry, and she later told me she feeling fatigued and had terminal breast cancer. We became friends, but became separated on the way. By chance, I ran into her in Santiago, the evening before my departure to Muxia. It was the icing on the cake, so to speak, and the last thing she said to me was "have a good life". I didn't know what to say, except "Buen Camino", but, as only pilgrims may know, these words held so much meaning for me, and I hope for her as well, as she was facing the end of her journey.
I wish for you, and your dear husband a Buen Camino, and a wish that the path you both face will lead you to The Way. xx

Janice

 

[november_moon]

I don't have much to add to what the others have said, but I did want to add my support and positive thoughts to you and your husband. Whatever is ahead, I know you will find the strength to move forward.

 

[CaminoKate0214]

I can't thank you all enough. Every time I read this it makes me cry. So much love, sympathy, kindness. You are all such wonderful people. It's this openness, love, and willingness to help that mad me fall in love with the Camino. I've spent all Saturday night sleepless; right now it's early on Sunday morning. Monday morning, Jack and I go in super early to UCLA and get his chemo port operation done. Thursday we go for the first chemo treatment. Bless you all for the love you have shown Jack and me.

 

[Wokabaut_Meri]

I can't thank you all enough. Every time I read this it makes me cry. So much love, sympathy, kindness. You are all such wonderful people. It's this openness, love, and willingness to help that mad me fall in love with the Camino. I've spent all Saturday night sleepless; right now it's early on Sunday morning. Monday morning, Jack and I go in super early to UCLA and get his chemo port operation done. Thursday we go for the first chemo treatment. Bless you all for the love you have shown Jack and me.

Oh Kate, if only we could do more... take really good care of yourself (apologies if I sound like your mother!)... best part of this Forum is that it's a United Nations of pilgrims so that there will usually be someone online at any part of your day or night if you need the company.

 

[alistair]

A devastating blow, but not terminal
Please look into Cannabis Oil, turmeric and the very real cures that are out there:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=Cannabinoids+and+cancer

 

[Dennis D]

Katie it makes me so sad to read about your husband's diagnosis. Thank you for this reminder that our plans can be changed by circumstances out of our control.

When it is time, Hospice is a wonderful organization that can help both of you through the rest of this unwelcome life ending journey. Get all the help and support you can and don't try to get through this alone.

When you are ready to walk the Camino, it will be there waiting for you.

 

[2sassytravelers]

Hi all,

It is with a heavy heart that I come to you all here, and say that my Camino dreams for this summer are dashed. My husband was recently diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer. I have to cancel my flight, and walk this Camino with him, as far as it goes.

The next time I walk the (actual) Camino, it will be to deposit his ashes at the Cruz de Ferro. Doctors have given him 12-18 months to live. We start chemo next week. I am leery that he will continue if it makes him feel terrible, and if he does quit, I wouldn't blame him at all. If he doesn't continue with chemo, then his time here, our time together, gets progressively shorter.

I am glad that I got to walk part of the Camino last summer. I met wonderful people, earned my compostela, and learned so many lessons along the way. It's bittersweet to me that the next time I go on Camino, I'll have all the time I need to walk, as long as I want. And although he won't be waiting for me at home, he'll always be with me in my heart, wherever I go.

I have a feeling this Camino is going to be life-disrupting and life-changing in more ways than I can imagine.

Katie

Our prayers are with you. your husband and family.

 

[Seabird]

I am so sorry for your devastating news. May the strength of the Camino stay with you.

 

[HeidiL]

You will both be in my thoughts.

 

[marjude]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.

 

[JennyH94]

Dear Katie and Jack -

I add my support to the messages of support already written - as so many have said, you're not alone here on the Forum. I also urge you to investigate the use of the cannabis oil - the statistics are there to show that it does help shrink tumours. Jack - try as much as you can to get organic produce into your system - smoothies made with organic veggies and fruits - so your level of nutrition is high and this will help your immunity during the chemo.

My very best wishes to you both and to your extended families - you're in my thoughts and prayers -

Jenny

 

[Peadarmac]

Dear Katie and Jack,

for the tough path ahead I would like to forward on an old Irish prayer that was given to me just before my mum passed away.

I've since carried it with me on subsequent Caminos .


An Irish Prayer

May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer

This folks of this Forum Community surely are a special bunch !!!

Best wishes to you both,
Peadar

 

[VNwalking]

Dear Kate and Jack...On Thursday you'll be beginning a different and much more difficult Camino. There'll be prayers and well-wishes for you from around the world...and many of us know the cancer journey first-hand and will be here if you need an ear and a heart.
One practical piece of advice: you'll want to use your energy to support each other rather than to be constantly updating friends and family about what's going on. Go to CaringBridge and get a free place to post updates and receive support. It saves a ton of time...I can't recommend it enough.

 

[Older Guy]

I am sorry. My father died from pancreatic cancer. My heart goes out to you. In the final weeks, my father went very quickly and they medicated him so there wasn't much pain, but he halucinated and that was horrible. I was luck to be with him the day he died and we had a few hours of quality time talking about wonderful things we had shared.

Death is horrible, but something that we all must face at some point. May I suggest that you get a book on grieving and the stages of grief so you understand the journey you are going to be taking. Good luck and be strong.

 

[Cailin O Eire]

Katie,
Words fail me, but blessings to you and your husband on the path that lays ahead of ye.
Rita

 

[TheTinkerBell]

Kate and Jack, never give up. NEVER give up.

 

[wawpdx]

Katie and Jack,
My heart and prayers are with both of you.
Nancy