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On the Camino did you ever say?

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D

Deleted member 36903

Guest
No, but did discover that I wasn't as kind to others as I had thought I was. Endeavoured to address that by trying to be be more patient with others and less judgemental especially in the early stages when I was irritated because I needed to walk alone but had not learned the Camino protocols for expressing that without feeling guilty or fearing I would cause offence.
 

evanlow

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances06
Primitivo07
Plata08
Norte12
Levante(14-15)
Vasco16
Mozarabe(16-17)
Madrid17
Portuguese18
No. Not when I have to pay a hefty sum to fly myself all the way there to walk.

Just once, on the via de la Plata (Sanabres) after already walked 30+ days and crossing over to Galicia I encountered 3 days of continuous downpour and cold temperature. The third day when the visibility dropped to like 10 meters the thought of 'what the h@#$ am I doing here' did cross my mind. Without sounding too dramatic, like a sign, the fog suddenly lifted just enough for me see a beautiful view of the valley with vineyards, the next moment back to near zero visibility.
I didn't dare to complain after that...
 

Coleen Clark

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Walked August 2015, planning on walking August 2017
When you actually walked/hiked the Camino (not about the past), did you ever once say to yourself?

I'm not good enough.
I'm not worthy enough.
I'm not lovable.
I'm not whole or complete just as I am.

Why?
Just asking?
Oh heck yeah. For that whole first week I felt like the stupid old fat woman who was slower than everyone on the trail, that ached and just wanted to lie down after a meal while everyone else laughed and talked and sang. What was I doing? Why wasn't I acting like all the other pilgrims, whistling as I walked and joining in on the stories and creating a Camino Family?
All the statements above came into play.
Then I met someone older, someone fatter, someone slower, and someone not as bright as I was. I had conversations with these people. I listened. Frankly I was too tired to talk. But I learned that when you think of yourself as "less than" you begin to believe it, and act that way...self fulfilling prophesy?
Taking a chance and sitting with strangers for the first time on the Camino is bravery at its utmost for me, an introvert (stop laughing). After that it's a matter of choice. Do you give of yourself, join the conversation, open up and accept others as they accept you, or take time to meditate and regroup. Just knowing you are able to make that choice, and that choice is always there, is empowering.
Then I could believe I was good enough, worthy an whole and complete.
And lovable. :DOf course.
 

katie@camino

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF, SJPDP-Finisterre 2016; CPort (Central) from Porto 2017;
CPort (Coastal) from Porto 2018.
Oh heck yeah. For that whole first week I felt like the stupid old fat woman who was slower than everyone on the trail, that ached and just wanted to lie down after a meal while everyone else laughed and talked and sang. What was I doing? Why wasn't I acting like all the other pilgrims, whistling as I walked and joining in on the stories and creating a Camino Family?
All the statements above came into play.
Then I met someone older, someone fatter, someone slower, and someone not as bright as I was. I had conversations with these people. I listened. Frankly I was too tired to talk. But I learned that when you think of yourself as "less than" you begin to believe it, and act that way...self fulfilling prophesy?
Taking a chance and sitting with strangers for the first time on the Camino is bravery at its utmost for me, an introvert (stop laughing). After that it's a matter of choice. Do you give of yourself, join the conversation, open up and accept others as they accept you, or take time to meditate and regroup. Just knowing you are able to make that choice, and that choice is always there, is empowering.
Then I could believe I was good enough, worthy an whole and complete.
And lovable. :DOf course.
Colleen i love this. As an introvert i too feel the fear of joining groups and next time i am on the Camino I will certainly attempt more bravery of the kind you describe. Thankyou for sharing your vulnerability, you have company x
 
A

Anemone del Camino

Guest
Hell no.

Just "where am I and how much longer until" ...
A. Some shade
B. A place to sit
C. I can see the next fountain/town
D. The albergue

And then ...
A. Why on earth am I doing this to myself AGAIN?'

Regarding SEB's comments, on the contrary, I fond myself giving up my lower bunk to someone who thinks he needs it more than I do. Or will give up days of walking to serve as a translater and therapist for someone needing to go to a hospital. I never give ot a second thought.

Not good enough? Nope? Not capable? Every second of the day after setting foot onthe . the morning after my arrival.

Really, noone is judging you. And even of they were, does ot matter?
 

Robo

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF SJPdP to SdC
(May 2015)
CF Sarria to SdC
(May 2016)
CF SJPDP-SdC
(Apr/May 2018)
VdlP (2020)
No.

I was a bit more kind to myself.
I acknowledged daily that I had much to learn and made sure I was open to that learning.
And the lessons came.....daily.

Though I did ask....

"What am I doing here?" .... Frequently.
 

C clearly

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2012, 2014, 2015, 2016). Seville-Astorga (Mar 2017). Mozarabe (Apr-May 2018)
If you are starting the Camino with those insecurities, they will not be miraculously cured after walking a few kilometers. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, not being part of the in-crowd, or not whistling as you walk. You don't have to become a different person! Hopefully you will gain confidence, though, and not be comparing people (including yourself) as "better" or otherwise.
 

Rick M

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
April ('16,'18, '19, '20)
I love your question! Please be patient for a moment......

I like to make furniture when I have the time. I'm really not particularly good at it, but its very relaxing, and very satisfying. It is not a business in any way, so I just give the pieces away to friends and family. My problem is that every time I finish a piece, I take a good hard critical look at it, and generally I hate it. My shortcomings as a craftsman are on display for all to see. There's a router bite here and here. The strut piece was installed backward and the grain doesn't flow cleanly with its neighbor. The left corner is 1/8" closer to the leg than the right leg. Speaking of that leg, I'm pretty sure it is going to warp in a decade....I should have used a different piece to make it.

Inevitably, The recipient will take one look and gush all over it. They love it. Yeah, I tell myself, they love free custom made coffee tables with their choice of wood and stain. Its true, you can't buy that in a store. NO, they tell me, I really do love it. And they DO. They can't see the mistakes, shortcuts, and poor judgement that I included in the piece. Once pointed out, they love it anyways, router bites and all.

We save our harshest criticism for ourselves. We see the man in the mirror with an eye sharper and more judgmental than we would ever gaze on another with. A piece of the Camino for me, is having a longer look at the man in the mirror than you might ever get a chance to at home. No time to study that face very carefully during the hubbub of day to day life, just the odd glance as you run by and catch a glimpse. But on Camino, you can scarcely escape him. He's always there.

Did I see an unworthy man? An Unlovable man? No. Among other things, I saw an unworthy craftsmen who was never going to have the world beat a path to his workshop commissioning pieces for the grand estates of the world. But he put his heart into is work, and pleased those around him. I concluded that he was a good guy to know if you needed a coffee table.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
I did not. I did, however, remember that I am what is essentially an "extroverted introvert". Left to my own devices, I'm in nature--either alone, or perhaps with my husband.

On weekends, I'm on my farm, working crops and planting stuff, or hiking several miles at Silver Falls---working as a Trail Ambassador (yes, I carry a radio and look like a ranger). I am around people, but not buried in them, as it can be on Camino Frances.

On Camino Frances, it is crucial, though, that we remember that there are people who feel very alone, and need some human contact. Just a smile, kind word, joke, or a bottle or two of wine shared over some food is the best thing ever!

I turn into a party on sore feet after two glasses of wine, and I love nothing more than singing, dancing, laughing people. Nitpicking, gossipy people, go away--but party hounds who like to make clever conversation--come sit by me!

So--I don't feel less than, but I do feel a compelling need to drink my wine and welcome people in. I love that about walking the Camino. I become a better version of my very oddly introverted self (unless it's during the week, then I'm teaching 120 teens at secondary level, and joking with my teacher friends).

Bom Caminho--and guess who just got her Camino Portuguese book in the mail?
 

Coleen Clark

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Walked August 2015, planning on walking August 2017
Oh Debrita! It's you and me kid! We're gonna burn that Portuguese trail up with our fast feet and nimble minds!
I am a slow, half stage walker, but I will sure buy you a vino or café con leche if we meet. And I'll listen to THREE of your stories, so have them picked out.
You rock girl!
 
D

Deleted member 36903

Guest
No, but did discover that I wasn't as kind to others as I had thought I was.
What I didn't mention, because I have done so in many other posts, was that I was walking after the death of my partner, so I was bereaved , but the adjective 'bereft' is a more useful word to describe the feelings experienced after losing a loved one because it means 'deprived of, or lacking something'. So that was the mental/emotional state in which I began the walk, but to characterise this in terms of my setting out everyday shrouded in grief would be wrong as I could still smile, feel delight in birdsong, the sight of a scurrying lizard, the wonderful countryside and friendly greetings - it was just that something in me was missing and I was trying to get used to the fact that it was lost forever at least in the form that I had known. More importantly in terms of walking the Camino, I needed to be able to shed the tears that being around people back at home had prevented me from doing. Therefore being alone for long stretches was a necessity, as was having the internal conversations that you have in such circumstances; this was, as I later learned, the start of the long journey of coming to - not finding - peace. So as a consequence of editing out a crucial factor of why I was alone - probably alone for the first time in my 67 years of life - and trying to understand my own needs, my post on this thread was clumsily expressed. But it was then followed by others that were honest while also managing to be eloquent, and @Coleen Clark nailed it perfectly when she wrote about taking that giant step for a lone peregrina when deciding to join a group of strangers.

Taking a chance and sitting with strangers for the first time on the Camino is bravery at its utmost for me, an introvert (stop laughing). After that it's a matter of choice. Do you give of yourself, join the conversation, open up and accept others as they accept you, or take time to meditate and regroup. Just knowing you are able to make that choice, and that choice is always there, is empowering.
.
Regarding SEB's comments, on the contrary, I fond myself giving up my lower bunk to someone who thinks he needs it more than I do. Or will give up days of walking to serve as a translater and therapist for someone needing to go to a hospital. I never give ot a second thought.
You see @Anemone del Camino , I know that such actions are acts of kindness, and I did similar things myself later on, but these are physical acts, whereas the un/kindness I was seeing in myself was at the emotional/spiritual level. It was a result of a temporary inability to empathise with others without ending up even more emotionally drained than when I started. If not exactly 'running on empty' it was pretty close and periodically resulted in a desire to shut off from people, but in retrospect its easy to see how you have to start the emotional healing in yourself before you are able to reach out and help others in non-physical ways.

I am what is essentially an "extroverted introvert". Left to my own devices, I'm in nature--either alone, or perhaps with my husband. ... I am around people, but not buried in them, as it can be on Camino Frances.
@CaminoDebrita, except for the husband in your quote, that reflects my own experience perfectly.


When serious questions such as those asked by the OP appear on this forum, we do our best to respond accurately based on our experiences but the difficulty - for me anyway - is that these experiences of walking even the very same route are so varied because as the journey progresses as uncertainty is replaced with the reassuring security of a simple daily rhythm, and friendships are formed. So what I felt/who I might have appeared to be at SJPDP was probably different from in Pamplona, from San Juan de Ortega, Burgos, Ponferrada, Arzua and so on to SdC. In addition, memory is selective and periodic so, ask me the same questions another time and the answers might have a slightly different perspective, but reflection is a wonderful tool for learning.

Finally @Missing Mike, you asked the original question, so I hope that you are not disappointed that most members answered 'no' to your set of questions. The bottom line of your post was 'Just asking.' but I do wonder why and hope that you will post again with your own thoughts on the matter and thank you for starting this very interesting thread.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2015)
Camino Frances (2016)
Camino Frances (2017)
Caminho Português (2018)
VDLP 2019
No I did not.
I did however feel humbled and graced with good fortune to be on the Camino and in the moment.

As I walked I reflected on the twists and turns, the up's and downs, The incredible luck, and also the crushing heartbreaks that it has taken to get me to be exactly here at this point in time. All is good .

@Missing Mike - Don't be too hard on yourself.
 

CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
@SEB - I'm so glad that you reminded all of us of your partner, and honestly, I think so many of carry a close and intimate grief that we think it's like a red flag that we wear--always visible to all, and surely the first thing others notice about us.

You are so articulate and well-spoken (you write so well!) that I'm glad that you reminded me of this aspect of walking the Camino. Loss first compelled me to walk the Camino. In this last year, I've lost three more people who were very, very close to me--one my ex-husband. The other, a woman I've been friends with since childhood. The last, stepdad. I think that walking in bereavement--your fitting word--is a different kind of walking. A lot of people walking the Camino as older people are indeed carrying that stone, and while it does indeed help to ease the burden to walk the Camino, it is not a stone that can be left easily in Spain.

Thinking of you, and thank you for your observation that carrying that burden will indeed affect how a person may seem, act, communicate or not.

I can see myself at a table with you and @Coleen Clark telling stories and getting ourselves through a bottle of vino tinto, and then laughing at each other running back to the albergue at 9:44 pm to sleep in our t shirts with tennis balls sewn into the backs...
 

Dorpie

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Santiago to Finisterre to Muxia 2013
Camino Frances May 2015, July 2017, October 2019
Good question Mike.

I was so incredibly lucky on my first and until July only camino to meet such lovely, supportive people that these questions which have often plagued me in everyday life melted away.

Bigger, better, faster, stronger, richer, more beautiful etc. just aren't measures that have much worth along the way (I'd be naive to think no one holds on to those standards but I think it's more the exception than the rule). Everybody is just trying to get from one place to another as best they can and with that common goal I think it's easier to find things that bring us together rather than set us apart. Also just by being there you've made yourself part of a self selecting group of at least somewhat kindred spirits and hopefully that also helps people feel accepted and valued.

I've barely ever felt as loved or good about myself as I did on the Camino and it pains me to think that while I was on this journey of personal growth others were feeling just the opposite.

Rob.
 

Coleen Clark

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Walked August 2015, planning on walking August 2017
@SEB - I'm so glad that you reminded all of us of your partner, and honestly, I think so many of carry a close and intimate grief that we think it's like a red flag that we wear--always visible to all, and surely the first thing others notice about us.

You are so articulate and well-spoken (you write so well!) that I'm glad that you reminded me of this aspect of walking the Camino. Loss first compelled me to walk the Camino. In this last year, I've lost three more people who were very, very close to me--one my ex-husband. The other, a woman I've been friends with since childhood. The last, stepdad. I think that walking in bereavement--your fitting word--is a different kind of walking. A lot of people walking the Camino as older people are indeed carrying that stone, and while it does indeed help to ease the burden to walk the Camino, it is not a stone that can be left easily in Spain.

Thinking of you, and thank you for your observation that carrying that burden will indeed affect how a person may seem, act, communicate or not.

I can see myself at a table with you and @Coleen Clark telling stories and getting ourselves through a bottle of vino tinto, and then laughing at each other running back to the albergue at 9:44 pm to sleep in our t shirts with tennis balls sewn into the backs...
Debrita and SEB, I'd buy the first round (got the winning lottery ticket right here in my pocket!)
You are right that many people carry their loss with them. When you reach 60 people you love start dropping left and right. I am one of only 2 left of the 7 siblings in my family. I carried ashes on my last Camino, I will carry memories on this one.
And yet, beyond that grief comes joy and friendship and kindness. My favorite line in a movie is from "Steel Magnolias." Dolly Parton says :"Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."
 

Coleen Clark

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Walked August 2015, planning on walking August 2017
Wow. Debrita, Coleen, and SEB at one table . What an evening of conversation, laughter (and wine! ) that will be. I want to be there!
First couple of bottles of vino Tinto are on me!
Sounds like an old joke...
Debrita, Coleen and SEB walked into a bar.....
 

SabineP

Camino = Empathy + Compassion.
Camino(s) past & future
some and then more. see my signature.

Coleen Clark

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Walked August 2015, planning on walking August 2017
I was writing some time ago on the fact that when @SYates will move to Santiago that all the cool kids will live there.
Now when @CaminoDebrita , @Coleen Clark and @SEB will meet each other all the wise kids will be together....
You just bought yourself a seat at the grown up table. Grab a glass and I will pour.
 
D

Deleted member 36903

Guest
Thank you for the invitation @CaminoDebrita would love to join you all but responsibilities at home and the need to save up the money is going to keep me away from the Camino until at least 2019, but as i will be 70 in that year I might celebrate in SdC and while the vino tinto is courtesy of @Shakespearshakes the food is on me. And @SabineP I am far from wise. Got where I am today - wherever that is:p - by making lots of mistakes along the way, (even took a wrong turning on the Camino in the torrential rain after O Cereibro) and am still learning.
 
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CaminoDebrita

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
Frances SJPP to SdC Oct/Nov 2015
Frances Burgos toSdC March/April 2016
W. Highland Way August 2016
Camino Somewhere September 2017
Sounds like an old joke...
Debrita, Coleen and SEB walked into a bar.....
....and Coleen said, "I'll have what Deb's having..."

and what was it that Deb was having?

(BED BUGS!)
 

Jantina Hanna

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
I plan to walk from April 24 to may 24 2017
When you actually walked/hiked the Camino (not about the past), did you ever once say to yourself?

I'm not good enough.
I'm not worthy enough.
I'm not lovable.
I'm not whole or complete just as I am.

Why?
Just asking?
No but I asked myself every day: why am I doing this?
 

GreatDane

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF to Burgos Sept/Oct 2014, Burgos to Astorga April 2016, Astorga to SdC 2017
No but I did use some choice words cursing the Roman Roads! (While marveling at them at the same time)
 
Camino(s) past & future
(2017)
If you are starting the Camino with those insecurities, they will not be miraculously cured after walking a few kilometers. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, not being part of the in-crowd, or not whistling as you walk. You don't have to become a different person! Hopefully you will gain confidence, though, and not be comparing people (including yourself) as "better" or otherwise.
Yes, everyone has insecurities, but much can be accomplished with determination and forgiveness. When you feel let down, realize that you are not alone and are capable of starting again tomorrow. Soon enough, you will discover that you are worthy and capable, whatever shortcomings exist
 

Missing Mike

Member
Camino(s) past & future
May 2016
It has been wonderful to read every one of your comments!

Here are some of my responses. The answer to why I asked the questions is at the end, if you want to jump to it.

GreatDane—No but I did use some choice words cursing the Roman Roads!
I used some choice words at the big dogs that woke me up at 2am and wouldn't shut up. Also the roosters that didn't seem to know it was still dark and they didn't need to crow so loud or not at all. I could have shot and killed those roosters and had them for dinner and not thought twice.

SEB—So very sorry for your loss and possibly the Camino was beneficial for your grief journey.
I could so identify with you.


To Everyone—

The only question that crossed my mind was that I wasn't a good enough mother. The woulda, coulda, shoulda of losing someone due to mental illness by way of suicide. I was carrying a 168 lbs. stone, my son's weight (and my only child) who I had loss just 4 months prior to doing my grief journey on the Camino in April 2016 and yes it is not a stone that was left in Spain at all. Also for a friend who had died only 2 months prior.

More importantly in terms of walking the Camino, I needed to be able to shed the tears that being around people back at home had prevented me from doing. It was amazing that the pilgrims I met on the Camino were so much more understanding and compassionate then those at home, including my husband. Therefore being alone for long stretches was a necessity. I needed time to process a pain you can not imagine unless you have experienced it. I was having the internal conversations that you have in such circumstances; this was, as I later learned, the start of the long journey of coming to - not finding - peace. Being with others was even more emotionally draining, if not exactly 'running on empty' it was pretty close for I was not there to “enjoy or have a good time” like many others (not that that was wrong in any way of others). I had to start the emotional healing in myself. As I walked I reflected on the twists and turns, the up's and downs. I walked and saw the beautiful mountains. Now I understood the phrase “Thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” as I walked through the mostly beautiful valleys there. But I knew the crushing heartbreak that it had taken to get me to be exactly there at this point in time. I have to say that I really experienced such an unforgettable journey of walking not only with my son but for all those with mental illness and those who have lost their lives because of it. I was truly walking with my son and spirit every moment, I was never truly alone.

All is not good. My 2nd mom died a month after I got back. I am now getting a divorce and losing my 3 dogs too. Still waiting for “beyond that grief comes joy, friendship, compassion, kindness." Laughter is few and far between. I am still climbing a very high mountain with people along the way who are not compassionate/understanding which makes it even harder. But enough about me.


So why did I ask the questions? Well I am a teacher at heart. So first, I am very happy that most members answered 'no' to my set of questions. However, I would judge that it might have been easier while on the Camino.

The real question behind it is —Now that you are back home, can you say the same answers to those questions? Why? You are the same person you know....

With great love,
Davina
 
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Coleen Clark

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Walked August 2015, planning on walking August 2017
Hello Davina,
Your roller coaster life has been mostly downhills for a while. I hope and pray the hills straighten out into Mesitas and give you respite.
Every mother I have ever had a conversation with has doubts about her child rearing skills, some large and some small. To doubt yourself about something so vital and personal shows just how important it is, how much you wanted to be, if not a perfect mother, then at least above average. A day never goes by that I don't think "if only I had done this...." in regard to my boys.
Yes, they did come up on my Camino. Yes I beat myself up about some things. Then I forgave myself.
As a Teacher (bless your heart, a wonderful job!) you are a natural caregiver. Surround yourself with positive people, not people who are constantly asking for help. It's your turn now to fill yourself with energy, life, joy, and blessings. Take a break from caring for others, from blaming yourself for all of the bad things happening around you. You are not the Queen of the world. You are not culpable for every thing that falls apart around you. You cannot fix the world. You can fix the way you see your place in the world. Think of just one good thing a day. Just one.
It's a beginning.
 

nycwalking

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF: (2001, 2002, 2004, 2014). Hospitalera: 2002, Ponferrada. 2004, Rabanal del Camino.
Missing Mike, you are hobbling along with a pebble in your shoe. In Godspell, the pebble is called: Dare. A line from the song, And when we both have had enough, I will take him from my shoe saying meet your new road". Dare to live again. Weeping endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning. In time, in time. Dare.
 

Yellowfriend

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Porto- Santiago / Fisterra- Muxia sept 2016
SJPP- Santiago may 2017planninh
When you actually walked/hiked the Camino (not about the past), did you ever once say to yourself?

I'm not good enough.
I'm not worthy enough.
I'm not lovable.
I'm not whole or complete just as I am.

Why?
Just asking?
Thank you for your post, I recognise these thoughts.
That were my main thoughts the whole time.... maybe that is the answer why I got home from Burgos..... did you have these too because of your question here?
 

Yellowfriend

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Porto- Santiago / Fisterra- Muxia sept 2016
SJPP- Santiago may 2017planninh
Oh heck yeah. For that whole first week I felt like the stupid old fat woman who was slower than everyone on the trail, that ached and just wanted to lie down after a meal while everyone else laughed and talked and sang. What was I doing? Why wasn't I acting like all the other pilgrims, whistling as I walked and joining in on the stories and creating a Camino Family?
All the statements above came into play.
Then I met someone older, someone fatter, someone slower, and someone not as bright as I was. I had conversations with these people. I listened. Frankly I was too tired to talk. But I learned that when you think of yourself as "less than" you begin to believe it, and act that way...self fulfilling prophesy?
Taking a chance and sitting with strangers for the first time on the Camino is bravery at its utmost for me, an introvert (stop laughing). After that it's a matter of choice. Do you give of yourself, join the conversation, open up and accept others as they accept you, or take time to meditate and regroup. Just knowing you are able to make that choice, and that choice is always there, is empowering.
Then I could believe I was good enough, worthy an whole and complete.
And lovable. :DOf course.
So happy for you, thanks for sharing!
 

Yellowfriend

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Porto- Santiago / Fisterra- Muxia sept 2016
SJPP- Santiago may 2017planninh
Colleen i love this. As an introvert i too feel the fear of joining groups and next time i am on the Camino I will certainly attempt more bravery of the kind you describe. Thankyou for sharing your vulnerability, you have company x
You too xxx
 

Missing Mike

Member
Camino(s) past & future
May 2016
Thank you for your post, I recognise these thoughts.
That were my main thoughts the whole time.... maybe that is the answer why I got home from Burgos..... did you have these too because of your question here?
So many people spend so much of their lives telling themselves--
I'm not good enough.
I'm not worthy enough.
I'm not lovable.
I'm not whole or complete just as I am.

We all do it until we don't. Hopefully sooner then later; but life is a journey. Many, many years ago I believed all of this about myself. But I have let that go for the most part. I only wish my son could have instead of leaving the planet at such a young age. My hope is that more will realize the they are all the above and so much more. I wish this for you too!
 

Yellowfriend

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Porto- Santiago / Fisterra- Muxia sept 2016
SJPP- Santiago may 2017planninh
So many people spend so much of their lives telling themselves--
I'm not good enough.
I'm not worthy enough.
I'm not lovable.
I'm not whole or complete just as I am.

We all do it until we don't. Hopefully sooner then later; but life is a journey. Many, many years ago I believed all of this about myself. But I have let that go for the most part. I only wish my son could have instead of leaving the planet at such a young age. My hope is that more will realize the they are all the above and so much more. I wish this for you too!
Thank you Mike! So sad to read about your Sun, wish you all the best and love.
 

JillGat

la tierra encantada
Camino(s) past & future
C. Frances
SJPP - Finisterre - Muxia, May 2016
C. Frances, Sept 2017
Camino Portugues, June 2019
I did not. I did, however, remember that I am what is essentially an "extroverted introvert". Left to my own devices, I'm in nature--either alone, or perhaps with my husband.

On weekends, I'm on my farm, working crops and planting stuff, or hiking several miles at Silver Falls---working as a Trail Ambassador (yes, I carry a radio and look like a ranger). I am around people, but not buried in them, as it can be on Camino Frances.

On Camino Frances, it is crucial, though, that we remember that there are people who feel very alone, and need some human contact. Just a smile, kind word, joke, or a bottle or two of wine shared over some food is the best thing ever!

I turn into a party on sore feet after two glasses of wine, and I love nothing more than singing, dancing, laughing people. Nitpicking, gossipy people, go away--but party hounds who like to make clever conversation--come sit by me!

So--I don't feel less than, but I do feel a compelling need to drink my wine and welcome people in. I love that about walking the Camino. I become a better version of my very oddly introverted self (unless it's during the week, then I'm teaching 120 teens at secondary level, and joking with my teacher friends).

Bom Caminho--and guess who just got her Camino Portuguese book in the mail?
Oh, I would still like to join you for a Camino walk sometime, Debrita. Or at least to leapfrog along, meeting up here and there along the way. You sound like a kindred soul.

Did I hear about your Portugues walk? I did it last spring and it was lovely.
 

Theo59

Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances 2022
No. Not when I have to pay a hefty sum to fly myself all the way there to walk.

Just once, on the via de la Plata (Sanabres) after already walked 30+ days and crossing over to Galicia I encountered 3 days of continuous downpour and cold temperature. The third day when the visibility dropped to like 10 meters the thought of 'what the h@#$ am I doing here' did cross my mind. Without sounding too dramatic, like a sign, the fog suddenly lifted just enough for me see a beautiful view of the valley with vineyards, the next moment back to near zero visibility.
I didn't dare to complain after that...
Yes. It is always there if one has the right eyes to see it.
 

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