Privacy in alburgues/seeing more than one wants to see

[Donamigo]

I'm curious about the level of decency in this style of habitation. My wife is very shy, how does everyone handle getting dressed in such tight quarters? Are the baños coed also. Does everyone just get accustomed to seeing each other in their underwear? Am I just being a prudish American?

 

[sillydoll]

On my first Camino the man who was sleeping on the top bunk must have thought I was asleep so he stood next to the bunk, bent over and pulled everything off before climbing up into his bunk!

I don't think anyone has ever seen me in my underwear on the Camino! I take my dry clothes to the showers with me and change there. Many are co-ed and you are more likely to see a man in his scants than a lady in her's!

I sleep in shorts and a t-shirts - often the gear that I will be wearing the next day.

 

[Sojourner47]

Mostly you will be in a dorm with anywhere from 4 to 30+ beds, quite close together.
However, be assured that most pilgrims are in fact "quite shy", and ( in my experience) no-one is interested in watching anyone else get dressed/undressed. After walking anything up to 40 kms , everyone will be far too tired and preoccupied with their own ablutions and clothes washing to take any notice of what the others are doing.
Some albergues do have co-ed showers, but, again, be assured that others will be far too concerned with their own bodies to take interest in anyone else.....
Trust me.

 

[scruffy1]

I won't be the first to cast any stones, but yes, as a whole, Anglo-Saxon Americans are much more "prudish" than Europeans. People sunbathing on almost any European beach (England doesn't count) would be arrested and hauled off to jail on almost any American beach. Albergues are a place for tired, hungary, and dirty people to become rested and clean. Nobody is oogling anybody else or even wants to. The advice given above by sillydoll is perfect. Don't worry.

 

[MeganG22]

I myself have always considered myself shy and a "prudish American" but I eventually stopped caring on the Camino in October and would just change more on my bunk or facing the wall than hauling all of my things to the bathroom and getting dressed in a small stall. I always wore sports bras so changing my shirt in the morning wasn't really a big deal to me, and if I had to change pants I would just sit on my bunk and do it quickly.

The most I ever saw of anyone were men who would walk around in their little briefs. But most people don't care considering it's a more normal underwear choice over there than boxers, and people aren't sitting around staring.

I am trying to recall how many bathrooms were coed... there are a handful that I can think of but definitely more often than not they are separate. And like other responses have said, no one is really sitting around oogling each other or trying to get some action, so in general you should be pretty comfortable.

 

[jiggy]

We just changed in the loo or shower. We had no problems with other pilgrims except for the occasional heavy breathing

 

[Anniesantiago]

I have never seen any more than I'd see on any American beach.

 

[FrancesK]

I just got changed under my sleeping bag, in the dark or in a toilet/shower cubicle! You get use to it quickly enough.

 

[newfydog]

We usually stay in private rooms. You really don't want to see what goes on in there!

 

[julie]

I usually sleep in the t-shirt I'm going to wear walking the next day and a pair of knickers. It's easy enough to just slip your trousers off once you're on your bed and leave them over the end of the bed ready to put them back on in the morning.

If I need to get up for any reason I've never been worried about being seen in my night attire as it provides adequate cover.

 

[poogeyejr]

I walked the northern route last May. Lots of Europeans! You don't have to show much if anything at all, there's plenty of space to change and privacy for those who want it, however, you do get to see you lots of Belgian men's underwear (and French men, and Italian men and German men . . .) in short, I saw lots of underwear!

 

[fortview]

We both used a very light sarong to cover up . It was incredibly useful, as a cover for pillows, spare sheet, extra layer,as well.
People seem to get dressed on their beds in the dark.
There was never a problem at all.
Buen camino

 

[rfiebiger]

I have walked the Camino four times so far and one more to come in 2013 and have never seen anything in the Alberques that could be called inappropriate or indecent. Yes, one sees people in their underwear but no more than I would see on the beach. I guess it depends on ones sensibilities.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

You don't have to see anything you don't want to see, and you can protect your own privacy by dressing in rest rooms or inside your sleeping bag.

 

[mralisn]

I had to see ME every day. Eww!

 

[Donamigo]

So the way I understand it is that the women are descrete in changing but the men walk around in their underwear. Or are then men descrete as well? Are the men lounging around in their skants or is it just on the way back from the showers etc.

 

[mralisn]

Neither males nor females are lounging around with their privates hanging out. Of more than 90 days on the Camino(s), I may have accidently been in the wrong place at the right time 2 or 3 times. We're all tired, and most everyone uses discretion. For me, it's not even an issue. Most are extremely accommodating to allow some level of privacy.

It's all good. Let it fly. :wink:

 

[scruffy1]

donamigo - you are so far from reality it is begining to worry - our American cousins have an expression Chill! You have created a super non-issue and should be much more worried about blisters, kilometers, bedbugs, and the weight of your knapsack. Give it a rest.
Scruffy

 

[ffp13]

the men walk around in their underwear.

You have described the average French male middle-age pilgrim, they stroll around the dorms in their underwear regardless of who is there.

 

[FaithandGratitude]

You don't have to see anything you don't want to see, and you can protect your own privacy by dressing in rest rooms or inside your sleeping bag.

It's easy to protect your own privacy on the Camino but there are the occasional pervs and exhibitionists on the trail, so sometimes you do see what you certainly dont wish to. In October at an albergue on the way to Finnistere there was a guy who liked to show his dick off and it was all pretty obvious ie. taking his undies off and just standing there, opposite a 60 year old lady and myself, when he was next door to the showers (could have changed there) and could have chosen a bed way away from us or in another room (there were no other pilgrims and it was a massive hostel). I dealt with it via the manager who was pretty pathetic (it was the albergue Estrella at Cee) but who eventually removed him to another room, under duress. This guy had done the whole Camino and had probably flashed the whole way. And then there are the wankers (pardon my French) which occur after lights out, and the European men who love hanging round in their undies I think in part to show off what they think are their great bods. Mostly however it was fine; you just use your usual judgement and caution.

 

[scikowski]

I generally don't notice others and assume they don't notice me. However, we do have to remember that cultures other than our own may have different standards about dress/undress. Returning to my dorm one afternoon, I was presented with a "full moon" by a middle aged Frenchman standing in the open doorway, facing away from me and drying his feet, entirely naked and anything but sexual. Another Camino moment!

 

[jeffnd]

If I make it all the way without seeing a dude in a banana hammock, I will consider my Camino a success.

 

[Donamigo]

Just how bad is the male nudity/wanking??

 

[Donamigo]

Need to know so I can leave the sleeping bag at home and stay in private accommodations

 

[Homer-Dog]

The only male member I saw was my own ... and nobody saw mine. Men in underwear, sure, but nothing out of the ordinary IMHO.

 

[MeganG22]

Just how bad is the male nudity/wanking??

Woah, woah, I definitely think FaithandGratitude's experience was a huge exception, NOT the norm.

I saw some briefs- nothing you wouldn't see on a beach- and nothing worse than that. You will be fine, it's really not an issue! Don't give up the albergue experience just because of that. There are fantastic experiences and moments to be had in alergues and the "group living" dynamic, especially around dinner tables.

It's hard to say what YOU will experience and it will always depends on who else is out on the trail when you are. Who can predict these kind of things?

 

[oursonpolaire]

I only ran into inappropriate behaviour once in 5 caminoes. In the albergue in Belorado, in a bottom bunk dreaming away, I was awakened to gentle rocking from the upper bunk as a pilgrim was making himself happy. Trying to figure out how to deal with this, I heard a voice from another bunk call out: Santa Maria y todos lost santos te miran (Mary and all of the saints are watching you). It seems that almost the entire room was like me, wondering what to do. Universal hoot of laughter.

Silence from the upper bunk and, lo, it was empty when we arose.

As far as changing is concerned, the European (and Québécois) pilgrims are very modest, jut not with a lot of clothes. Don't worry.

 

[CaminoGen]

@oursonpolaire

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Sojourner47]

Well, as I said at the outset, and many others have confirmed, most pilgrims are far too tired and concerned with their own business to be bothered with anyone else's state of dress or undress.
Please do not be put off going on camino for fear of a VERY rare instance of a foreign (perhaps unclothed) body. We are all adults, surely, and I would be astonished if you were unlucky to see anything more than if you were on the beach. On the one hand, we do sleep in large(ish) groups sometimes, together, with minimal privacy. On the other hand, if anything untoward should happen, there are always others around you. Buen camino, and stop worrying about it.

 

[Rebekah Scott]

It is all part of the glorious rainbow of experience that is the camino.
Which is to say: sometimes you gotta just suck it up and look the other way, because these people are "foreigners what don´t know better!"

Or: It is not what you see that harms you. It is what you DO.


Reb.

 

[mralisn]

There you go. Thirty comments and most agree it's not an issue. Good enough?

 

[Donamigo]

Ok the conclusion is -- we'll try the alburgues, prefrably ones operated by nuns, if my wife gets creeped out we'll spend the rest of the camino in private accommodations. Hope to see some of you out there this May.
But this has been ever so much more interesting that bed bugs or packing lists

 

[CaminoGen]

Albergues run by nuns? They are few and does not protect you from anything (not that there's anything to protect you from really). :?

 

[ffp13]

Albergues run by nuns? They are few and does not protect you from anything (not that there's anything to protect you from really). :?

Some of the nuns Albergue have male and female dorms

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Some of the nuns Albergue have male and female dorms

Some private albergues do as well.

I sense that you will be happiest in hostales and hoteles. Almost all albergues are co-ed, so even without flesh displays, there is no privacy to speak of. It is like Japanese paper walls; everyone pretends that there is privacy. When a stranger is snoring in your wife's ear from two feet away, she may be as creeped-out as she would be from seeing a fat may in bikini briefs.

 

[3walkingtoSantiago]

I have to jump in to tell about "Naked Guy." My son and I got to Granon after my husband who had gone ahead to make sure we had beds (mats). Husband was showing me around and took me back to where the laundry area was. There was an older gentleman washing clothes, wearing his skivvies. Which he then dropped. I decided I didn't need to know any more about the laundry facilities and turned around.

We made jokes about Naked Guy for days, as in when we checked into a hotel in Burgos, wondering if Naked Guy would pop out from under the bed, etc... About a week later, we were in a church for Mass and who did we spot? Yes, Naked Guy. We ended up eating dinner with him and his wife. He remained fully clothed. :wink:

 

[Olivares]

The fact that I do not mind seeing nakedness or getting undressed in front of others does not make it wrong for others to mind it. It just makes it different. I totally understand donamigo asking on behalf of his wife. My best advice is to try to stay in private rooms as much as you can.

 

[Jason Loke]

We both used a very light sarong to cover up . It was incredibly useful, as a cover for pillows, spare sheet, extra layer,as well.
People seem to get dressed on their beds in the dark.
There was never a problem at all.
Buen camino

I subscribe to that sarong idea. I just bought one for 7 usd.

 

[Arn]

Well, with a few exceptions, this thread cut across the topic from tops to bottoms over a period of time. As many mods come from different countries and have different points of view...where one mod may see a red light, another sees green. I err on the side of yellow, therefore I see it from all ends.

 

[Rebekah Scott]

Arn, I hope you don't see TOO much of either "end!"

 

[t2andreo]

It is really simple. Each afternoon / evening, either:

• Change into the top and bottom (underwear) you will wear the next day while in a shower cubicle / stall (after drying off of course), the top will likely cover the bottom area, or
• Change in your sleeping bag, not a good idea if you are chunky like me, or
• Change under or behind your micro-fiber towel (used as a skirt) if the towel is large enough, or
• Look for a break in "traffic" in the bunk area, like if the others have left the room, or
• Face away from other people when changing and change promptly, change the top first if it covers the bottom (long tailed t-shirt or polo shirt, then the bottom, or
• (Women) use a Macabi skirt. Put the skirt on after toweling off, then a top, then under-things..., or
• Simply do as the Europeans do, do not stare or linger.

Remember, you are not displaying anything they have not seen before, at least the Europeans. In fact, and as others have noted above, you are likely displaying far less than they regularly see on beaches, at swimming pools, or while sunbathing. Just do not flaunt it by walking around in the all-together.

Relax! We all have the same bits. In my experience, it seems that only younger North Americans are even interested...me? I've aged out of that puerile fascination...long ago...

I hope this helps.

 

[Dutch]

I see more things i dont want to see in my gym's changing room, than in any Albergue.

 

[NicoZ]

Not sure how to put this but it's not like staying in a hotel (I don't care how many stars) will protect your eyes . I guess everybody could get horse blinders.

 

[obinjatoo@yahoo.com]

My 2 cents (won't even getchya coffee) is that decency and nudity are 2 very different things... I'm pretty sure I can be nude and still be decent.
Having said that. I change my clothes in relative privacy near my bunk or whatever into my quick dry tennis skirt and clean(ish) t shirt BEFORE going to the shower. Then put them on when I'm done as close to or in the shower stall as possible. It's 2 items of clothing easy on, easy off. I don't make too big a deal of it, I'm not that interesting or much to look at anyway.

 

[Sue M]

Doylu know, I really can't remember anything about how I got dressed or undressed, but since I didn't wear the same clothes all the way I must have done it somehow! Just goes to prove that it wasn't an issue. I'm sure I would have remembered if I'd seen (or heard) anything remarkable!!!!

 

[mikevasey]

There is no right or wrong way of getting undressed, just try if it is possible to respect the other peoples space. I get changed in the shower or a toilet cubicle, but that is more my shyness than decency operating. Seen plenty of blokes in their budgie smugglers(as William Marquess puts it) walking about in the dorm rooms and wished I had not but not going to let it ruin my day. The French(mostly) are very relaxed about their bodies and do not take into consideration the same moral guidelines that other cultures will insist are paramount, I feel if you are easily shocked then a dorm room could be testing.

 

[Dutch]

i have never seen any nakedness in a dormroom. I dont count walking around in a boxer as being naked. Otherwise i would be naked alot

Never has anybody said to me, heyyy....dont walk around in boxers and i also never got the feeling people were disturbed by it. Not even Americans

 

[tploomis]

Spain isn't America and people from all over the world and of many different cultures are walking the Camino. There is a range of attitudes toward nudity and modesty (and a variety of other issues), and I think that is one of the real positives of the Camino experience. You might occasionally see something that is so outside your cultural norm that it is temporarily unsettling, but that's all for the good if it is taken as a chance to examine one's values and assumptions. Traveling involves being out of your comfort zone at times, and that's a good thing!

 

[Urban Trekker]

Unfortunately for us Americans, and fortunately for Europe, Europe had the good sense to send all their prudes here as the first settlers.

As the saying goes, when in Rome do as the Roman do. Your in Europe. They have different values and attitudes than we do.

To be blunt, your not in Kansas anymore. Get over it. Dorms can and often are coed. Showers are not, however both sexes could share a restroom. Knock on and lock the door.

Happy Trails

 

[Olivia Luna]

Some private albergues do as well.

I sense that you will be happiest in hostales and hoteles. Almost all albergues are co-ed, so even without flesh displays, there is no privacy to speak of. It is like Japanese paper walls; everyone pretends that there is privacy. When a stranger is snoring in your wife's ear from two feet away, she may be as creeped-out as she would be from seeing a fat may in bikini briefs.

LOL, the snoring bit got me one night!! I no longer think my husband is the worst snorer in the world. This guy, in the lower bunk next to mine snored, snorted, and farted all night. I almost hurt myself trying not to laugh out loud. Thankfully, I sleep through anything so I eventually slept like a log. My husband did not... Karma I said ;-)