Remaining true to the Camino Spirit

[Jacobus]

I am sometimes surprised at the number of people who make responses that appear to be less than considerate of other people's sensitivities.
In one particular case someone expressed a feeling about a topic and received a rather harsh response which more or less told them they were wrong to have that feeling.
Feelings are individual and neither right nor wrong. You have them or you don't. You express them or you don't. You are tolerant of others feelings in the spirit of the Camino or you issue forth your mandate of what others need to believe in order to be the same as you.
So in the spirit of the Camino Lets try to be as tolerant in this forum as we are on pilgrimage. ... And if difficulties arise perhaps exploring the ignore feature is a good option.

 

[LauraK]

I am sometimes surprised at the number of people who make responses that appear to be less than considerate of other people's sensitivities.
In one particular case someone expressed a feeling about a topic and received a rather harsh response which more or less told them they were wrong to have that feeling.
Feelings are individual and neither right nor wrong. You have them or you don't. You express them or you don't. You are tolerant of others feelings in the spirit of the Camino or you issue forth your mandate of what others need to believe in order to be the same as you.
So in the spirit of the Camino Lets try to be as tolerant in this forum as we are on pilgrimage. ... And if difficulties arise perhaps exploring the ignore feature is a good option.

I agree completely. There is a difference between giving an opinion and telling someone what they are "feeling" is wrong. We can't stop what we feel. Respecting how someone feels is in essence respecting them as a person. Having a difference of opinion is a discussion.
I am a very private person and generally do not join stuff or participate in group type activities. I was very hesitant to become part of this online community. Not generally my thing, but I have been a member since around 2007 to access all of the great info for planning my Caminos. After being away from the forum for a few years, I logged on in February to plan my March Camino. After reading several of the types of posts that Jacobus refers to, my response was that I would never post other than to get info....why open up yourself to such negativity...and who are these people? I also noticed it was generally the same people that somewhat consistently responded in this manner (I actually formed opinions about these people and decided I did not like them- having never met them).
Well fast-forward to the end of my Camino on the VdlP where I had days and days of quiet and solitude. Came home and I am still processing my Camino (which was amazing and profound) and felt the need to stay connected to the Camino as I assimilate everything. And while my husband loves to hear about my caminos and supports me in going, I just can't really describe what it is or means to me. So I found myself returning to the forum and reading, and reading, and then decided to take the plunge. I opened myself up carefully at first and then found the most amazing group of people that really understand what I am feeling and are so generous and giving. My husband cannot believe I actually post in a forum - he says he is happy and proud of me for having the courage to open myself up like that. I do believe this is an extension of my Camino-learning to be vulnerable. I do think I would have stopped posting if I had received someone's harsh post putting down my "feelings" ( I am a tough woman so bring on the different opinions - no problem). I just wanted to share this to bring some additional perspective to Jacobus' post. Please be sensitive and respectful of others feelings. Go to town and spew forth all of your opinions...

 

[smj6]

Well said both @Jacobus & @LauraK. Engaging both brain & emotional intelligence before writing on this forum (or any other) might reduce some flaming & encourage others, who might not have felt comfortable, to become more involved in posting & commenting.
Suzanne

 

[Lachance]

A fine sentiment and similar reproaches often appear in threads where it happens, with absolutely no effect on the usual suspects. People who do this sort of thing don't see it as just their personal feeling, that's the problem. If you passionately believe, you feel duty bound to help the unenlightened. It is rather scary at first. But you soon realise that there are many other views here and you can always PM to avoid upsetting people who, apart from this well-intentioned idée fixe, are valuable contributors.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

you can always PM to avoid upsetting people

That is a much underutilized feature. Sometimes I think serial congratulations are more about being seen as a good person by the Forum than a sincere congratulations. A Conversation (formerly Private Message) is an excellent means of speaking directly to the achiever.