Seeking advice: walk alone whole route or with sister for only 10 days

[barber1586]

Greetings, fellow Pilgrims. I am a 59-year old female widowed two years ago. I am planning my first Camino for this September. My original plan was to walk the whole route alone from SJPP. My dear sister (and her husband) don't want me to walk alone, and want to walk with me, but they only want to do 10 days. I know she wants to spare me being alone as she knows I am not used to it. From what I have learned on this valuable forum (thanks, Ivar!) is that it is advisable to walk alone and that one is never really alone on the Camino unless they desire to be. I am in reasonable shape (I exercise at the gym and teach yoga) and I am walking 4.5 miles regularly. I know I need to do more training.

My sister's thought is that I should take the shorter walk this September as a training walk and then next year I could go on my own. I am afraid I would miss out on the pilgrimage aspect of the Camino, the spiritual part, if I only participated in a ten day walk. Those of you who have been on the Camino Frances before, what is your advice? Walk alone from SJPP or walk only 10 days but with my sister and her husband?

Thanks and blessings to all! Buen Camino!

Mary

 

[Sheffield James]

Greetings, fellow Pilgrims. I am a 59-year old female widowed two years ago. I am planning my first Camino for this September. My original plan was to walk the whole route alone from SJPP. My dear sister (and her husband) don't want me to walk alone, and want to walk with me, but they only want to do 10 days. I know she wants to spare me being alone as she knows I am not used to it. From what I have learned on this valuable forum (thanks, Ivar!) is that it is advisable to walk alone and that one is never really alone on the Camino unless they desire to be. I am in reasonable shape (I exercise at the gym and teach yoga) and I am walking 4.5 miles regularly. I know I need to do more training.

My sister's thought is that I should take the shorter walk this September as a training walk and then next year I could go on my own. I am afraid I would miss out on the pilgrimage aspect of the Camino, the spiritual part, if I only participated in a ten day walk. Those of you who have been on the Camino Frances before, what is your advice? Walk alone from SJPP or walk only 10 days but with my sister and her husband?

Thanks and blessings to all! Buen Camino!

Mary

Mary,
you know that only you can decide what's best to do, but from the way you present your 'dilemma' it strongly suggests you would be compromising your goal largely to satisfy the limitations - no matter how well-intentioned - being set by your sister and her husband. If you prefer the idea of walking the entire camino frances route, then I'd be simply tempted to say... it's there, waiting for you!
Buen Camino.

 

[Kiwi-family]

I would thank your sister for her concern, and then do what you want to!

 

[barber1586]

Sheffield,

You have a way of putting the nail on the head. I do have the goal of walking the entire route. Your read through the lines of my post very well.

My sister, who is very much attuned to my emotions, senses the (natural?) anxiety I feel about setting off on a trip like this alone. I am inexperienced at being alone. I don't mean to make them out to be any less than kind and generous hearted. They are willing to spend the money and time to do this to spare me any distress. They do, of course, also look forward to the time they would spend on the Camino, but that is not their main purpose for going this year. Their purpose is not for pilgrimage, however, as mine is. They make me feel very loved.

Thank you very much for your response. I appreciate your clear thoughts. I am letting too much emotion affect my decision making. It's hard to say no to someone who is acting so lovingly and generously on one's behalf.

 

[barber1586]

Lise T, your advice is good. And I like your comment about the over-55 set taking to the Camino like ducks to water. You made me smile! Thanks!

 

[jirit]

Ask yourself if this was the last thing you get to do in this world, what would you prefer to do then.

I think you already know the answer

 

[barber1586]

Jirit,

Succinctly stated, and oh, so to the point. Life changes in the blink of an eye. And yes, I do know the answer.

Bless you!

Mary

 

[Kanga]

Mary, it sounds like you have found your answer. Just to add to the suggestions already made, my husband was anxious when I set off on my first Camino, so he came with me to SJPDP and walking the first couple of weeks with me. Once he could see I would be fine he went home. I did not have to compromise and he was happy.

 

[Silvester]

Hi Mary
Coming to terms with widowhood is a complex process and often our day to day lives are full of distractions - including loving supportive people. It's rare to have the opportunity to just walk and think and grieve and just be. I'm thinking the camino is a great vehicle for just that and that if your heart says "I just want to walk alone and process" then that is the right thing to do. By all accounts many people manage just fine without too much cause for anxiety and it seems that you can be as social as you wish and access any help you need most places along the Frances. So - when are you leaving?
Mary

 

[giorgio]

Somehow, on the Camino, you get the feeling that,even with nobody in sight, you're not alone ....
Read this thread
http://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/suddenly-scared.25597/
and get ready....the event of a lifetime is waiting for you
Giorgio

 

[barber1586]

Kanga, how sweet of your husband. I am happy for you! Mine was a sweetie, too. Yes, I have made my decision, thanks in part to the encouragement I have received on this forum. I know I will be surrounded by lovely, caring people. I enjoy being coddled a bit and thus it would be easy to compromise my goal of walking the entire Way from SJPP, but with the change in circumstances in my life it feels like time to stand on my own two feet and see where I can take myself. I will see if my sister and her husband will meet me in Ponferrada or Astorga and walk the final days. I think I need to start on my own.

Thanks, Kanga, for your encouragement.

 

[barber1586]

Hi, Mary. Are you a widow, too? My sympathy. You sound like you know what it is like. When my husband died my instinct was to run off someplace to be alone to grieve and heal but in the end decided to do that surrounded by my loved ones. This Camino is finally my chance to do just what you state, to walk and think and grieve and just be. It is time to stop reassuring everyone how strong I am and go process this experience.

You asked when I am leaving. My plan was September 3. My brother-in-law doesn't want to leave until September 25. If they meet me for the last ten days, that would be just about right for both of us. I see that you are walking this year, although a different path. When do you begin your journey?

 

[Kanga]

Kanga, how sweet of your husband. I am happy for you! Mine was a sweetie, too. Yes, I have made my decision, thanks in part to the encouragement I have received on this forum. I know I will be surrounded by lovely, caring people. I enjoy being coddled a bit and thus it would be easy to compromise my goal of walking the entire Way from SJPP, but with the change in circumstances in my life it feels like time to stand on my own two feet and see where I can take myself. I will see if my sister and her husband will meet me in Ponferrada or Astorga and walk the finally days. I think I need to start on my own.

Thanks, Kanga, for your encouragement.

If he was a sweetie he would be approving your independence with pride. Love sets us free; on Camino it gives wings to the feet.

 

[barber1586]

Somehow, on the Camino, you get the feeling that,even with nobody in sight, you're not alone ....
Read this thread
http://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/suddenly-scared.25597/
and get ready....the event of a lifetime is waiting for you
Giorgio

Giorgio, thanks for your encouragement and the steer to the "suddenly scared" post. It's an odd coincidence, but her dates are exactly the same as mine! Life is full of surprises.

This forum is full of such wonderful people! I have been buoyed by the responses to my post and to others. I believe I can do this.

Mary

 

[indyinmaine]

1. If you are working out at the gym every day you have no worries about your being in shape. Just do a couple of 20-25 km walks back to back. That's really all it takes for your body to know how the "distance" feels.
2. Walking with someone is completely different from walking alone. My wife joined me from Sarria on. I enjoyed it, but it was very different.
3. Don't wait too late in the fall. It gets chilly over the mountains in late October.
4. As for the "over 55" part, I walked (with pack) it last fall at 82.

Buen Camino

 

[Livl]

Hi Mary,

I just saw your post while looking for info on the forum - I didn´t read all the other posts as unfortunately I am in a bit of a rush right now, so not sure if you already took a decision.

Anyway, here´s my experience, maybe it might help you.. I am not sure how many km you want to walk per day, but you might consider doing the Portuguese Camino with your sister. The part from Porto (North of Portugal) to Santiago is only 240 km, I did it with a friend last year in 8 days (we kept an average of 30 km per day but it has been hard on certain days - we are in our early 30s and were untrained at the time, even though we both walk a lot generally). I am sure you can do that comfortably in 15 days with your sister, and it´s a great way to start, as the way is really beautiful (in the wine Region of Portugal), green with small rivers and lakes, following old Roman roads for almost its entirety. As the certification is given to anyone walking at least the last 100 km to Santiago, both you and your sister would get it, but you wouldn´t so to say "spoil" the Camino Frances, on which you might come back another time alone, strong of your first experience

We did it as we wanted to see if we could make a small portion before tackling the whole Camino or more difficult parts. It was an incredible experience, and I must say, we walked long parts without speaking to each other, each immersed in his own thoughts.

We liked it so much that we´re doing about the double of the distance this year, and maybe, when we´ll have enough time to do the whole French way, we´ll do that too.

Hope this gives you some ideas!

Liv

Edit to add: oh, and crossing a country border by foot was so cool! Between Portugal and Spain the border it´s on a bridge on the river Minho. Beautiful, I took way too many Pictures.

 

[natefaith]

Mary, they say the Camino has a way of beckoning you, and it sounds like in your heart you know it's calling you and you're ready to walk the entire Camino Francés by yourself. It sounds like to do anything less would be very disappointing. If your sister and brother-in-law were responding to *your* initial anxiety about being alone for so long, you can tell them that after discussing it with other pilgrims you now feel relieved and much more at peace about it . Many, many pilgrims start out alone but then by the end of the first couple of days they've created a fun community that lasts the rest of the Camino. There will be difficult moments, of course, and perhaps moments of loneliness, but the nature of the Camino is that you'll be ready to tackle those difficult moments when they come - no need to stress about them now. Take care and enjoy all the planning!

 

[Lotta]

My ant will join us for 10 days and then I and my daughter continue and do the rest!

 

[naplesdon]

It sounds like you have made the right decision. It's your Camino and don't let someone hijack it. You will find a wonderful family along the way, if not several wonderful families and the stories you share every day and every night with help you work through your grief. I lost my 30 year old daughter 3 year ago and walk every year with her resting on my shoulder.

 

[JohnMcM]

biarritzdon,

. I lost my 30 year old daughter 3 year ago and walk every year with her resting on my shoulder.

BEAUTIFUL!

 

[indyrem]

I walked from St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago last year and before that I have never hiked ever in my life. I just trained (if you can even call it training ) about 4 miles a day 3-4 times a week 3 months before I started walking. I was 69 yrs old when I walked and had the best time. The Camino will take care of you -have no fear- it is safe. Just use common sense , get the most comfortable shoes you can find, pamper your feet, use walking sticks or poles ( a must IMHO), no need to rush. I've always believed walking the Camino is not easy but doable so take care and Buen Camino.

 

[indyrem]

biarritzdon,

. I lost my 30 year old daughter 3 year ago and walk every year with her resting on my shoulder.

BEAUTIFUL!

Hi John,
So sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my daughter( to cancer ) 10 years ago. She was really the reason why I walked the Camino- she was a school teacher & my eldest & only daughter and she loved to hike. I've always wondered why she loved hiking even taking her students with her. She used to say its good for the soul and she was right. So I can relate to your experience. God bless you!

 

[santiago_67]

Greetings, fellow Pilgrims. I am a 59-year old female widowed two years ago. I am planning my first Camino for this September. My original plan was to walk the whole route alone from SJPP. My dear sister (and her husband) don't want me to walk alone, and want to walk with me, but they only want to do 10 days. I know she wants to spare me being alone as she knows I am not used to it. From what I have learned on this valuable forum (thanks, Ivar!) is that it is advisable to walk alone and that one is never really alone on the Camino unless they desire to be. I am in reasonable shape (I exercise at the gym and teach yoga) and I am walking 4.5 miles regularly. I know I need to do more training.

My sister's thought is that I should take the shorter walk this September as a training walk and then next year I could go on my own. I am afraid I would miss out on the pilgrimage aspect of the Camino, the spiritual part, if I only participated in a ten day walk. Those of you who have been on the Camino Frances before, what is your advice? Walk alone from SJPP or walk only 10 days but with my sister and her husband?

Thanks and blessings to all! Buen Camino!

Mary

It is wonderful that we have family and friends that are concerned about us during our journey on this earth. To ease their worries, I sent a text message to family and friends every evening to keep them posted as to how I was doing and where I was along the Camino. My sister and brother-in-law enjoyed the daily message and made note of each of my nightly stops as I inched along on their map of the Camino France. I suggest you print out a map of the Camino Frances for your sister and keep her advised on a regular basis along the way. Buen Camino!

 

[JohnMcM]

Hi John,
So sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my daughter( to cancer ) 10 years ago. She was really the reason why I walked the Camino- she was a school teacher & my eldest & only daughter and she loved to hike. I've always wondered why she loved hiking even taking her students with her. She used to say its good for the soul and she was right. So I can relate to your experience. God bless you!

Hello indyrem,

I think you meant to reply to our friend biarritzdon.

I'm happy to read that you found for yourself why hiking was important to your dear daughter.

Bless.

John

 

[Mariann]

Greetings, fellow Pilgrims. I am a 59-year old female widowed two years ago. I am planning my first Camino for this September. My original plan was to walk the whole route alone from SJPP. My dear sister (and her husband) don't want me to walk alone, and want to walk with me, but they only want to do 10 days. I know she wants to spare me being alone as she knows I am not used to it. From what I have learned on this valuable forum (thanks, Ivar!) is that it is advisable to walk alone and that one is never really alone on the Camino unless they desire to be. I am in reasonable shape (I exercise at the gym and teach yoga) and I am walking 4.5 miles regularly. I know I need to do more training.

My sister's thought is that I should take the shorter walk this September as a training walk and then next year I could go on my own. I am afraid I would miss out on the pilgrimage aspect of the Camino, the spiritual part, if I only participated in a ten day walk. Those of you who have been on the Camino Frances before, what is your advice? Walk alone from SJPP or walk only 10 days but with my sister and her husband?

Thanks and blessings to all! Buen Camino!

Mary

You should go alone! I also lost my husband recently and start walking mid May. Show these answers to Your sister an she will understand. The Camino is different, you are not alone. Best wishes!

 

[rayvarey]

Hi, Mary. Are you a widow, too? My sympathy. You sound like you know what it is like. When my husband died my instinct was to run off someplace to be alone to grieve and heal but in the end decided to do that surrounded by my loved ones. This Camino is finally my chance to do just what you state, to walk and think and grieve and just be. It is time to stop reassuring everyone how strong I am and go process this experience.

You asked when I am leaving. My plan was September 3. My brother-in-law doesn't want to leave until September 25. If they meet me for the last ten days, that would be just about right for both of us. I see that you are walking this year, although a different path. When do you begin your journey?

When does one stop being a widow? and start 'being' again...you are never alone on the Camino. Thank your sister for her concerns and then step off boldly on your own. You'll soon realize that you've done the right thing....and let them join you later in your walk and catch 'the Camino bug' as well. Buen Camino!

 

[barber1586]

1. If you are working out at the gym every day you have no worries about your being in shape. Just do a couple of 20-25 km walks back to back. That's really all it takes for your body to know how the "distance" feels.
2. Walking with someone is completely different from walking alone. My wife joined me from Sarria on. I enjoyed it, but it was very different.
3. Don't wait too late in the fall. It gets chilly over the mountains in late October.
4. As for the "over 55" part, I walked (with pack) it last fall at 82.

Buen Camino

Indyinmaine,

You amaze me! And I'm fussing and second guessing myself at 59! Thanks for your advice. I don't actually go to the gym every day. It's more like 3 to 4 times a week. I have started 5 miles walks, though, and will build up before September. There are no hills around here so I will try a stair master at the gym.

I will be walking in September/early October. You mentioned you walked last fall. Did you enjoy the fall season?

Mary

 

[barber1586]

Hi, Liv.

I have heard that Portugal is beautiful. I'm glad you were able to experience it. I believe the Camino Frances already has its hook in me. Your thought about not spoiling the Camino Frances for the next time by doing ten days on it this year makes sense. That was my son's comment to me, too. In fact, he is the one who encouraged me to initiate this thread. He thought I would get some sage advice from those who had gone before me. He sure was right! I feel so encouraged and now confident. I guess he was tired of listening to me as I wrestled with my decision!

Mary

 

[barber1586]

Mary, they say the Camino has a way of beckoning you, and it sounds like in your heart you know it's calling you and you're ready to walk the entire Camino Francés by yourself. It sounds like to do anything less would be very disappointing. If your sister and brother-in-law were responding to *your* initial anxiety about being alone for so long, you can tell them that after discussing it with other pilgrims you now feel relieved and much more at peace about it . Many, many pilgrims start out alone but then by the end of the first couple of days they've created a fun community that lasts the rest of the Camino. There will be difficult moments, of course, and perhaps moments of loneliness, but the nature of the Camino is that you'll be ready to tackle those difficult moments when they come - no need to stress about them now. Take care and enjoy all the planning!

Natefaith,

I not only feel beckoned by the Camino, I feel compelled! Your post went right to the heart of the matter. I would be disappointed if I didn't start at SJPP, and I do now feel relieved and much more at peace about it after discussing it with other pilgrims! How did you get inside my head? All kidding aside, this forum is amazing and the warmth of the pilgrims beyond my expectation. I am grateful.

Mary

 

[barber1586]

My ant will join us for 10 days and then I and my daughter continue and do the rest!

Lotta, good luck on your first Camino!

Mary

 

[barber1586]

It sounds like you have made the right decision. It's your Camino and don't let someone hijack it. You will find a wonderful family along the way, if not several wonderful families and the stories you share every day and every night with help you work through your grief. I lost my 30 year old daughter 3 year ago and walk every year with her resting on my shoulder.

Biarritzdon,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have a 32 year old daughter and a 29 year old son. I can't imagine what you must have gone through and continue to go through. It sounds like you have arrived at some degree of peace as you "walk every year with her resting on my shoulder." That's lovely. I hope my darling Rick will be by my side.

I see you head off from SJPP in June/July. Buen Camino!

Mary

 

[Deleted member 3000]

Personally, I would be reluctant to go with anyone who did not want to be there for their own reasons. It is very nice that family members want to support you, but it may not be sustained support if they have undisclosed reservations about doing it. Stories abound about walking partners who did not really want to be there, and the additional stress it causes on the Camino. Let me be clear that I am talking about me, and your dynamic might turn out to be completely different.

Buen camino!

 

[barber1586]

I walked from St Jean Pied de Port to Santiago last year and before that I have never hiked ever in my life. I just trained (if you can even call it training ) about 4 miles a day 3-4 times a week 3 months before I started walking. I was 69 yrs old when I walked and had the best time. The Camino will take care of you -have no fear- it is safe. Just use common sense , get the most comfortable shoes you can find, pamper your feet, use walking sticks or poles ( a must IMHO), no need to rush. I've always believed walking the Camino is not easy but doable so take care and Buen Camino.

Hi, Indyrem. I see you live not far from me. I am in the Midwest, too, near Peoria, IL. I am so glad you enjoyed your Camino. I plan on getting walking poles. How did you find the hills on the Camino? Were you able to train on hills at home? How many days did you take from SJPP to Santiago?

Thank you for your encouragement!

Mary

EDIT: Oh, my, I read in another post how you lost your daughter to cancer. I am so sorry. I know a little of what you went through, as far as cancer goes, but of course can't touch on the aspect of loss of a child. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

 

[barber1586]

It is wonderful that we have family and friends that are concerned about us during our journey on this earth. To ease their worries, I sent a text message to family and friends every evening to keep them posted as to how I was doing and where I was along the Camino. My sister and brother-in-law enjoyed the daily message and made note of each of my nightly stops as I inched along on their map of the Camino France. I suggest you print out a map of the Camino Frances for your sister and keep her advised on a regular basis along the way. Buen Camino!

Santiago_67,

That's wonderful advice. I love the map idea! And yes, it IS wonderful to have family and friends who care about our sojourn on earth. It is a true blessing.

I see you have a Camino planned for this fall. Will you be on the CF? If so, perhaps we will even meet. I am going in September.

Buen Camino!
Mary

 

[barber1586]

You should go alone! I also lost my husband recently and start walking mid May. Show these answers to Your sister an she will understand. The Camino is different, you are not alone. Best wishes!

Mariann,

I am so sorry about your loss! Truly, truly sorry. I wish you a wonderful Camino this May. I hope you find some peace and that communion with nature gives you solace.

God bless you,
Mary

 

[obinjatoo@yahoo.com]

It sounds like it might be more your sister's agenda than yours. If you are called to walk the Camino, then you should walk it. Don't wait because someone else thinks you should. You sound ready to me.... There's a great quote by..... Oh I forget who but basically, The people who say it cannot be done should not get in the way of the person doing it". Go for it!

 

[indyinmaine]

Indyinmaine,

You amaze me! And I'm fussing and second guessing myself at 59! Thanks for your advice. I don't actually go to the gym every day. It's more like 3 to 4 times a week. I have started 5 miles walks, though, and will build up before September. There are no hills around here so I will try a stair master at the gym.

I will be walking in September/early October. You mentioned you walked last fall. Did you enjoy the fall season?

Mary

I never walked more than a couple miles, I never went to the gym. Over a year I did work up to a steady 15 km per day but my Swiss friend told me I didn't even need to do that. I worried about the hills too but, with the exception of SJPdP to Orisson(!) by the time you get to them you're used to climbing. As for the fall, it was great. All sorts of berries to eat and I like it on the hot side. Only down side was an unusual stretch of rain and wind for seven days.

 

[barber1586]

When does one stop being a widow? and start 'being' again...you are never alone on the Camino. Thank your sister for her concerns and then step off boldly on your own. You'll soon realize that you've done the right thing....and let them join you later in your walk and catch 'the Camino bug' as well. Buen Camino!

Rayvarey,

Good question. I think a person eventually merges from one into the other and becomes both. I like the image of stepping off boldly! When I walk through the gate at SJPP, I will try to manage a bit of boldness just for you, but I imagine just taking a step will be enough for me to start!

 

[barber1586]

Personally, I would be reluctant to go with anyone who did not want to be there for their own reasons. It is very nice that family members want to support you, but it may not be sustained support if they have undisclosed reservations about doing it. Stories abound about walking partners who did not really want to be there, and the additional stress it causes on the Camino. Let me be clear that I am talking about me, and your dynamic might turn out to be completely different.

Buen camino!

Falcon269,

I understand your point. My sister has foot issues and her husband is concerned about her ability to walk the entire route. He also thinks we both need more training. He is a track coach and a distance runner, so he is unquestionably in shape. I love and admire their willingness to travel to Spain to support me, but it sounds like pilgrims on the route support one another pretty well. I feel pretty well blessed all around. I appreciate your advice. Thanks!

Mary

 

[barber1586]

It sounds like it might be more your sister's agenda than yours. If you are called to walk the Camino, then you should walk it. Don't wait because someone else thinks you should. You sound ready to me.... There's a great quote by..... Oh I forget who but basically, The people who say it cannot be done should not get in the way of the person doing it". Go for it!

Obinjatoo,

My sister's only agenda is to support me. That is quite clear to me. I did not mean to imply otherwise. But you are right: if called to walk the Camino, I should walk it, and not let anything stand in my way. I might add, especially myself!

Thanks for your post!

Mary

 

[barber1586]

I never walked more than a couple miles, I never went to the gym. Over a year I did work up to a steady 15 km per day but my Swiss friend told me I didn't even need to do that. I worried about the hills too but, with the exception of SJPdP to Orisson(!) by the time you get to them you're used to climbing. As for the fall, it was great. All sorts of berries to eat and I like it on the hot side. Only down side was an unusual stretch of rain and wind for seven days.

Hi, Indyinmaine.

I just "converted" your 15 km/day to miles: 9.32. I'll have to almost double my walks to achieve that. I'm just getting started with my training. I have 4 months, so hopefully that will be enough. I'm glad the fall was an enjoyable time (except for the seven days of wind and rain!). I expect I will encounter much the same. My heritage is Irish, so I enjoy a bit of walking in the rain.

Mary

 

[Monk Moses]

Hi, Indyinmaine.

I just "converted" your 15 km/day to miles: 9.32. I'll have to almost double my walks to achieve that. I'm just getting started with my training. I have 4 months, so hopefully that will be enough. I'm glad the fall was an enjoyable time (except for the seven days of wind and rain!). I expect I will encounter much the same. My heritage is Irish, so I enjoy a bit of walking in the rain.

Mary

Hi Mary. Do you know when you're going yet?? I head out from SJPdP on Sept. 8th. Hope to see you along the way!

Buen Camino!

Fr. Moses

 

[barber1586]

Hi Mary. Do you know when you're going yet?? I head out from SJPdP on Sept. 8th. Hope to see you along the way!

Buen Camino!

Fr. Moses

Monk Moses,

Is your title Brother Moses? I was thinking maybe the Fr. is French for brother (Frere). Just checking so that I address you properly. I haven't purchased my tickets yet so am not fully sure. My plan is to fly on the 3rd, arriving 4th in Paris, travel to SJPP on the 4th, and then depart SJPP either on the 5th or 6th, depending on jet lag. I imagine I will be pretty excited and will take off on the 5th.

I hope to see you along the Way, too!

Buen Camino!
Mary

 

[indyrem]

Hi, Indyrem. I see you live not far from me. I am in the Midwest, too, near Peoria, IL. I am so glad you enjoyed your Camino. I plan on getting walking poles. How did you find the hills on the Camino? Were you able to train on hills at home? How many days did you take from SJPP to Santiago?

Thank you for your encouragement!

Mary

EDIT: Oh, my, I read in another post how you lost your daughter to cancer. I am so sorry. I know a little of what you went through, as far as cancer goes, but of course can't touch on the aspect of loss of a child. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

Hi Mary,
It took me 32 days to complete my Camino. I had to taxi from Sansol to Burgos. I'm also a type 2 diabetic and I miscalculated how many insulin pens I would need to last me till I reached Burgos. From Pamplona , I mailed some of my Insulin, my sleeping bag & my sandals to lighten my load, to the post office in Burgos. As far as the hills/mountains on the Camino-they are doable. I took my time, sometimes pausing or taking a sip of water. Don't worry about others passing you by, it's not a race. You'd be amazed at how other pilgrims will come to your aid if they see you need it without you asking. I can't remember how many times pilgrims that passed me would be so glad to see me when I arrived at bars or albergues, meet me with big smiles/ hugs & "You Made It!!" There were some groups (I did not know about it until later) who kept an eye on me-Bless their hearts. Everybody has one goal: arrive at Santiago. I can't say enough of the genuine kindness I experienced while walking. I started walking with no expectations but with a heavy heart because I was still mourning the loss of my daughter but finished my Camino with full understanding of God's plan for me & for that I'm greatful. So walk with confidence that you can do it and you will not walk alone. You will feel the presence of your loved one while you walk like I did. I hope to walk again in 2015 hopefully in the fall.
Take care & Buen Camino

Remy from Indianapolis

 

[indyrem]

Hello indyrem,

I think you meant to reply to our friend biarritzdon.

I'm happy to read that you found for yourself why hiking was important to your dear daughter.

Bless.

John

Thank you, John- hope Biarritzdon read my message.

 

[naplesdon]

I did read it and thank you. I share Midwest roots as well, I was born and raised in Cincinnati.

 

[Silvester]

Hi, Mary. Are you a widow, too? My sympathy. You sound like you know what it is like. When my husband died my instinct was to run off someplace to be alone to grieve and heal but in the end decided to do that surrounded by my loved ones. This Camino is finally my chance to do just what you state, to walk and think and grieve and just be. It is time to stop reassuring everyone how strong I am and go process this experience.

You asked when I am leaving. My plan was September 3. My brother-in-law doesn't want to leave until September 25. If they meet me for the last ten days, that would be just about right for both of us. I see that you are walking this year, although a different path. When do you begin your journey?

Hi Mary
I'll be leaving Leon on 24 September to do the Salvador - providing a night with the Madres Benedictinas has dealt to any jetlag! If you're doing the Frances, out paths might cross there, or nearer SdC or even Fisterra/Muxia. I fly out of Barcelona on 29 October so I can take my time. I think that the timing is right to do it now. It would have been a different journey had I followed your same instinct.
One of my sons was aghast last year at the prospect of me heading off solo but they are all enthusiastic now and really get the idea of pilgrimage and allowing me space and serendipity. Four of them have asked if they can come on various different routes with me in the future though. That's another three routes...
I also think that although traveling as a couple has challenges as well as joys, travelling with a couple is a tad poignant for the widowed one and possibly a tad constricting for the couple. Sounds like you have settled on a good balance. May you be blessed in your going.
Mary

 

[kenneth black]

Greetings, fellow Pilgrims. I am a 59-year old female widowed two years ago. I am planning my first Camino for this September. My original plan was to walk the whole route alone from SJPP. My dear sister (and her husband) don't want me to walk alone, and want to walk with me, but they only want to do 10 days. I know she wants to spare me being alone as she knows I am not used to it. From what I have learned on this valuable forum (thanks, Ivar!) is that it is advisable to walk alone and that one is never really alone on the Camino unless they desire to be. I am in reasonable shape (I exercise at the gym and teach yoga) and I am walking 4.5 miles regularly. I know I need to do more training.

My sister's thought is that I should take the shorter walk this September as a training walk and then next year I could go on my own. I am afraid I would miss out on the pilgrimage aspect of the Camino, the spiritual part, if I only participated in a ten day walk. Those of you who have been on the Camino Frances before, what is your advice? Walk alone from SJPP or walk only 10 days but with my sister and her husband?

Thanks and blessings to all! Buen Camino!

Mary

Hi Mary,
Last year I obtained a flight to Bilbao,and set ot walking on my own from SjlP.I am retired and I was on my own.I managed to conplete the walk and I enjoyed it so much I hope to return this September.What I have changed so far, is because I am not a strong walker, I will break my first day up.I will stop over at orisson,if you are interested in doing the same? I suggest you book early.
One more small tip I wore a sweat band,not because of the sweat!When I was in my bunk I pulled the sweat band over my ears to keep the ear plugs in.If you pull it over youe eyes as well, it keeps the lights out when people rise early so it give you some privatcy.Maybe see you on the way, look for a wreck wearing a sweat band.
Best wishes
Ken

 

[indyinmaine]

Hi, Indyinmaine.

I just "converted" your 15 km/day to miles: 9.32. I'll have to almost double my walks to achieve that. I'm just getting started with my training. I have 4 months, so hopefully that will be enough. I'm glad the fall was an enjoyable time (except for the seven days of wind and rain!). I expect I will encounter much the same. My heritage is Irish, so I enjoy a bit of walking in the rain.

Mary

Looks as if you're going to have trouble walking alone!
Forgot one thing! Another tip from my Swiss friend: walk for 50 minutes and rest for 10. It does wonders. One day I walked almost 30 km and could have walked even more.

 

[Pablo Mac]

Greetings, fellow Pilgrims. I am a 59-year old female widowed two years ago. I am planning my first Camino for this September. My original plan was to walk the whole route alone from SJPP. My dear sister (and her husband) don't want me to walk alone, and want to walk with me, but they only want to do 10 days. I know she wants to spare me being alone as she knows I am not used to it. From what I have learned on this valuable forum (thanks, Ivar!) is that it is advisable to walk alone and that one is never really alone on the Camino unless they desire to be. I am in reasonable shape (I exercise at the gym and teach yoga) and I am walking 4.5 miles regularly. I know I need to do more training.

My sister's thought is that I should take the shorter walk this September as a training walk and then next year I could go on my own. I am afraid I would miss out on the pilgrimage aspect of the Camino, the spiritual part, if I only participated in a ten day walk. Those of you who have been on the Camino Frances before, what is your advice? Walk alone from SJPP or walk only 10 days but with my sister and her husband?

Thanks and blessings to all! Buen Camino!

Mary

Hey Mary ,

Just a thought but how about a compromise ? Walk the first 3 - 4 weeks on your own and meet up with your sister to walk the final 10 days . That way if you do find the part you walk on your own difficult you can use the thought of finishing in Santiago with your sister as comfort/motivation.Enjoy the best of both worlds . I wouldnt worry too much about fitness ...if you start at a reasonable level of fitness you adjust to conditions over the first week or so .

Either way you shouldnt be concerned about getting too lonely , I walked the french way in sept 2012 and I was blessed to meet some amazing people who I will count amongst my dear friends for the rest of my days . The fellowship which develops has to be experienced to be believed . At the same time when you wish to be on your own you can be , thats the beauty of it . A little anxiety is completely natural but have no doubt at all it is something which leaves nobody untouched . I cant wait to go back !!

"May the road rise to meet you and the wind be forever at your back. "
Buen Camino (",)

Pablo

 

[Carol06]

I wonder if maybe you do not want to hurt your sister's feelings by refusing her offer. Maybe you can start out together and then you continue on your own. That way you have the comfort of her company at the start, and when she leaves you she will understand the Camino better and know you will be fine. But do not compromise your Camino for her sake.

 

[barber1586]

Hi Mary,
It took me 32 days to complete my Camino. I had to taxi from Sansol to Burgos. I'm also a type 2 diabetic and I miscalculated how many insulin pens I would need to last me till I reached Burgos. From Pamplona , I mailed some of my Insulin, my sleeping bag & my sandals to lighten my load, to the post office in Burgos. As far as the hills/mountains on the Camino-they are doable. I took my time, sometimes pausing or taking a sip of water. Don't worry about others passing you by, it's not a race. You'd be amazed at how other pilgrims will come to your aid if they see you need it without you asking. I can't remember how many times pilgrims that passed me would be so glad to see me when I arrived at bars or albergues, meet me with big smiles/ hugs & "You Made It!!" There were some groups (I did not know about it until later) who kept an eye on me-Bless their hearts. Everybody has one goal: arrive at Santiago. I can't say enough of the genuine kindness I experienced while walking. I started walking with no expectations but with a heavy heart because I was still mourning the loss of my daughter but finished my Camino with full understanding of God's plan for me & for that I'm greatful. So walk with confidence that you can do it and you will not walk alone. You will feel the presence of your loved one while you walk like I did. I hope to walk again in 2015 hopefully in the fall.
Take care & Buen Camino

Remy from Indianapolis

Remy, that is so inspirational. I am a little worried about the hills, especially Day 1 from SJPP. You encourage me. I, too, will pause and take sips of water and wave to others as they bypass me. I won't be concerned about that. I love that you finished your Camino (Yay! Congratulations!) with full understanding of God's plan for you. Wow! That, of course, is what I seek. You give me hope. Thank you for sharing your experience with me.

Buen Camino in 2015!
Mary

 

[barber1586]

Hey Mary ,

Just a thought but how about a compromise ? Walk the first 3 - 4 weeks on your own and meet up with your sister to walk the final 10 days . That way if you do find the part you walk on your own difficult you can use the thought of finishing in Santiago with your sister as comfort/motivation.Enjoy the best of both worlds . I wouldnt worry too much about fitness ...if you start at a reasonable level of fitness you adjust to conditions over the first week or so .

Either way you shouldnt be concerned about getting too lonely , I walked the french way in sept 2012 and I was blessed to meet some amazing people who I will count amongst my dear friends for the rest of my days . The fellowship which develops has to be experienced to be believed . At the same time when you wish to be on your own you can be , thats the beauty of it . A little anxiety is completely natural but have no doubt at all it is something which leaves nobody untouched . I cant wait to go back !!

"May the road rise to meet you and the wind be forever at your back. "
Buen Camino (",)

Pablo

Hi, Pablo.

I will propose what you suggest. It makes perfect sense. Since I opened this thread, and received such encouragement from those who have already trodden the path, I feel much stronger about going alone. I think it is just what I need. Hopefully, my sister and her husband will join me for the last ten days and we can celebrate in Santiago together. I hope that works out. I can't wait to meet my fellow pilgrims on the Way. Thank you for your words of encouragement!

Buen Camino,
Mary

 

[barber1586]

I wonder if maybe you do not want to hurt your sister's feelings by refusing her offer. Maybe you can start out together and then you continue on your own. That way you have the comfort of her company at the start, and when she leaves you she will understand the Camino better and know you will be fine. But do not compromise your Camino for her sake.

Carol06,

You are right, of course. I feel such gratitude for their loving support that I did want to accept their offer. Since I have received the advice of other Pilgrims, however, I feel much more confident about doing the Camino on my own. I think it is just what I need. Hopefully they will meet me further down the trail. I appreciate your advice. Thanks!

Mary

 

[cathal Ferris]

Greetings, fellow Pilgrims. I am a 59-year old female widowed two years ago. I am planning my first Camino for this September. My original plan was to walk the whole route alone from SJPP. My dear sister (and her husband) don't want me to walk alone, and want to walk with me, but they only want to do 10 days. I know she wants to spare me being alone as she knows I am not used to it. From what I have learned on this valuable forum (thanks, Ivar!) is that it is advisable to walk alone and that one is never really alone on the Camino unless they desire to be. I am in reasonable shape (I exercise at the gym and teach yoga) and I am walking 4.5 miles regularly. I know I need to do more training.

My sister's thought is that I should take the shorter walk this September as a training walk and then next year I could go on my own. I am afraid I would miss out on the pilgrimage aspect of the Camino, the spiritual part, if I only participated in a ten day walk. Those of you who have been on the Camino Frances before, what is your advice? Walk alone from SJPP or walk only 10 days but with my sister and her husband?

Thanks and blessings to all! Buen Camino!

Mary

Let the camino guide you it will sort itself out, suggestion maybe to walk ten days with your dear sister and husband and complete the rest of the camino on your own or start say three weeks early and arrange to meet at a suitable point ten days where they could do the remainder of the walk with you

 

[Dutch]

I don't think you've reached the age of 59 to still be told what you should or should not do.

Do what YOU want. It is your life, your camino. I think the concern of your sister is more her fear for you talking then anything else.

Maybe its a thought to walk from SJPP for 10 days with your sister and then continue alone? You will not be the first one to have it planned like that. Lot's of people plan to start with a friend or partner for a short period, only to continue onwards alone.

Use a short camino as a training for a long camino a full year later is, trainingwise, a bit strange and useless

Whatever you decide, make sure your ok with it. You don't want to walk your camino thinking....what if....

 

[Dutch]

4. As for the "over 55" part, I walked (with pack) it last fall at 82.

Buen Camino

82?? I think thats sooo cool. Hope you get to walk lots more camino's.

 

[barber1586]

Let the camino guide you it will sort itself out, suggestion maybe to walk ten days with your dear sister and husband and complete the rest of the camino on your own or start say three weeks early and arrange to meet at a suitable point ten days where they could do the remainder of the walk with you

Cathal,

Very good advice. I will broach that with her. I like the idea of beginning on my own and meeting up with them.

I see you begin your adventure in TWO DAYS! Wishing you happy and fruitful travels.

Buen Camino,
Mary

 

[barber1586]

I don't think you've reached the age of 59 to still be told what you should or should not do.

Do what YOU want. It is your life, your camino. I think the concern of your sister is more her fear for you talking then anything else.

Maybe its a thought to walk from SJPP for 10 days with your sister and then continue alone? You will not be the first one to have it planned like that. Lot's of people plan to start with a friend or partner for a short period, only to continue onwards alone.

Use a short camino as a training for a long camino a full year later is, trainingwise, a bit strange and useless

Whatever you decide, make sure your ok with it. You don't want to walk your camino thinking....what if....

Dutch,

You sound like my son. He voiced a similar opinion. He, too, did not want me to compromise my goal. One thing I have not mentioned is that my sister's husband has a broken arm. He tripped over a tree root while running at the beginning of this month. Broke and displaced his humerus near the shoulder. The doctor says it will take four months to heal. And still he and my sister were wanting to share this experience with me so that I did not have to walk alone. You can see what generous hearted people they are! I have gained courage, though, from the advice on this forum and am now confident enough to let the Camino guide me day to day.

Buen Camino to you in May,
Mary

 

[Dutch]

Hi Mary,

You son sounds like a wise man LOL

I understand correctly that your going at it alone? Then you already know that, unless you want to, you'll never really be alone on the camino.

Wishing you a great time! Do you already know when in sept your gonna start?

Buen camino

 

[barber1586]

Hi Mary,

You son sounds like a wise man LOL

I understand correctly that your going at it alone? Then you already know that, unless you want to, you'll never really be alone on the camino.

Wishing you a great time! Do you already know when in sept your gonna start?

Buen camino

My son would agree with you!

Yes, I am going it alone. I'm thinking I might start out from the States on September 10. I have just written to the Refuge at Orisson to see if they have availability for the 13th, thinking I would take an extra day at SJPP before I start. I wouldn't arrive at SJPP until 7:30 p.m. on the 11th and thought that I might take a rest day. I am dipping my little toe ever so cautiously in the water, eh? Hoping to get off to a good start.

Buen Camino!

 

[Deleted member 3000]

I am dipping my little toe ever so cautiously in the water, eh?

There is no better way!

 

[Sheffield James]

My son would agree with you!

Yes, I am going it alone. I'm thinking I might start out from the States on September 10. I have just written to the Refuge at Orisson to see if they have availability for the 13th, thinking I would take an extra day at SJPP before I start. I wouldn't arrive at SJPP until 7:30 p.m. on the 11th and thought that I might take a rest day. I am dipping my little toe ever so cautiously in the water, eh? Hoping to get off to a good start.

Buen Camino!

I am so excited for you. I hope you let us know how you got on when you return home with your compostela, spiritual enrichment and memories galore!

 

[Saint Mike II]

Hola Mary - as you have found, in less than a week you have a whole new "Camino Family" - and whilst they can never love you the way your late husband did (they will support you) & I am sure "he" will be happy in the knowledge that you have been able to continue your life, to live it and love it to the fullest. His love will be one of the lighter burdens you will carry.
The consensus opinion about the Camino - is that everyone's experiences are different. Maybe have your sister and husband meet you in SDC to celebrate your achievement.

 

[barber1586]

I am so excited for you. I hope you let us know how you got on when you return home with your compostela, spiritual enrichment and memories galore!

Thanks! I am excited, too, and now that the decision is made, I feel at ease with going it alone. Thanks, again, for your help!

 

[barber1586]

Hola Mary - as you have found, in less than a week you have a whole new "Camino Family" - and whilst they can never love you the way your late husband did (they will support you) & I am sure "he" will be happy in the knowledge that you have been able to continue your life, to live it and love it to the fullest. His love will be one of the lighter burdens you will carry.
The consensus opinion about the Camino - is that everyone's experiences are different. Maybe have your sister and husband meet you in SDC to celebrate your achievement.

You've gotta love a man named Saint Mike, even if he is the "II"! You are right, the support I have received has been so wonderful. All my fears have vanished. I spoke with my sister today, and because I sounded so much more confident, she was able to wish me a good trip.

I am very grateful to this community for the support I have received.

Blessings to one and all!
Mary

 

[ArkBuilder]

Hi Mary,
It took me 32 days to complete my Camino. I had to taxi from Sansol to Burgos. I'm also a type 2 diabetic and I miscalculated how many insulin pens I would need to last me till I reached Burgos. From Pamplona , I mailed some of my Insulin, my sleeping bag & my sandals to lighten my load, to the post office in Burgos. As far as the hills/mountains on the Camino-they are doable. I took my time, sometimes pausing or taking a sip of water. Don't worry about others passing you by, it's not a race. You'd be amazed at how other pilgrims will come to your aid if they see you need it without you asking. I can't remember how many times pilgrims that passed me would be so glad to see me when I arrived at bars or albergues, meet me with big smiles/ hugs & "You Made It!!" There were some groups (I did not know about it until later) who kept an eye on me-Bless their hearts. Everybody has one goal: arrive at Santiago. I can't say enough of the genuine kindness I experienced while walking. I started walking with no expectations but with a heavy heart because I was still mourning the loss of my daughter but finished my Camino with full understanding of God's plan for me & for that I'm greatful. So walk with confidence that you can do it and you will not walk alone. You will feel the presence of your loved one while you walk like I did. I hope to walk again in 2015 hopefully in the fall.
Take care & Buen Camino

Remy from Indianapolis

Hi indyrem. I am terribly sorry for your loss. And, thank you for sharing your experience on the Camino. I am leaving SJPP 13 SEP 14 and have a reservation at Orisson Refuge [ before I realized how close it is, but it's been said that it is a great place to stay ].

I am walking Camino Frances and on to Finisterre for my own spiritual reasons [ as a Christian ] but also for folks with diabetes. I am glad that you shared this because I was wondering how Camino would work for someone needing insulin.

Hope to meet you at one of our Hoosiers On Camino group [ We're suppose to have a walk in May / June ].

Blessings,

Noah from Indianapolis

 

[Olivares]

My sister, who is very much attuned to my emotions, senses the (natural?) anxiety I feel about setting off on a trip like this alone.

Do both. Start from SJPDP and plan to do YOUR Pilgrimage. If Sis & Hubby want to ease their minds, that's great; have them accompany YOU from SJPDP as long as they can/would walk with you.

It is very evident by your post that YOU need to do this pilgrimage more than you even know. Set the pace, set the conditions, and have a Buen Camino!

BTW, I have been walking the Camino solo female every year since 2011. I am getting ready to go back in June and I already have the jitters!! Totally normal; I would actually be more worried if I did NOT had any anxiety by now....

 

[indyrem]

Hi indyrem. I am terribly sorry for your loss. And, thank you for sharing your experience on the Camino. I am leaving SJPP 13 SEP 14 and have a reservation at Orisson Refuge [ before I realized how close it is, but it's been said that it is a great place to stay ].

I am walking Camino Frances and on to Finisterre for my own spiritual reasons [ as a Christian ] but also for folks with diabetes. I am glad that you shared this because I was wondering how Camino would work for someone needing insulin.

Hope to meet you at one of our Hoosiers On Camino group [ We're suppose to have a walk in May / June ].

Blessings,

Noah from Indianapolis

www.facebook.com/TrekCaminoForDiabetesCure

.

 

[JohnMcM]

?............................I am sure "he" will be happy in the knowledge that you have been able to continue your life, to live it and love it to the fullest. His love will be one of the lighter burdens you will carry.

Truly, certainly and without doubt the extract above from Saint Mike 11's post in this thread can be used to sum up the caring, thoughtfulness, love and compassion for others that is so often thrust deep into our conscience and heart by people on this forum.

I am humbled by such humanity.

Buen Camino all

 

[barber1586]

Do both. Start from SJPDP and plan to do YOUR Pilgrimage. If Sis & Hubby want to ease their minds, that's great; have them accompany YOU from SJPDP as long as they can/would walk with you.

It is very evident by your post that YOU need to do this pilgrimage more than you even know. Set the pace, set the conditions, and have a Buen Camino!

BTW, I have been walking the Camino solo female every year since 2011. I am getting ready to go back in June and I already have the jitters!! Totally normal; I would actually be more worried if I did NOT had any anxiety by now....

Olivares,

It is encouraging to hear that you have walked the Camino before, several times in fact, and are continuing to walk it. Also glad to learn that jitters are normal. I alternate between enthusiastic anticipation and slight anxiety. When I tell people what my plans are, I often hear, "Alone! You are so brave!" which leaves me wondering what I have not thought out that others have. I know, however, that through my research I have a much clearer idea of the Camino than they do, which allays my fears (mostly).

Buen Camino to you, Olivares, in June and July!

Mary

 

[barber1586]

Truly, certainly and without doubt the extract above from Saint Mike 11's post in this thread can be used to sum up the caring, thoughtfulness, love and compassion for others that is so often thrust deep into our conscience and heart by people on this forum.

I am humbled by such humanity.

Buen Camino all

JohnMcM,

I agree totally with you. I, too, feel humbled and most grateful for the thoughtful, caring responses I received to my request for advice. I have felt lifted by many hands. In truth, my Camino has begun in this forum.

I see you are taking off on your Camino very soon. May the love you hold for your daughter and the memories you have sustain you on your Way. May God bless your journey!

Buen Camino!

Mary