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Silly me, wanting to fall in love on the Camino


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katie@camino

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
CF, SJPDP-Finisterre 2016; CPort (Central) from Porto 2017;
CPort (Coastal) from Porto 2018.
I guess I am of the generation (I'm 68) which - in the 60s and 70s - got used to being harassed, touched-up, and generally demeaned by men. That is NOT to say it was all right! I think now I'd have reported it, but maybe I had only myself to blame sharing a room to save money when the dorms were full. He thought it was a signal. I think he was genuinely ignorant of how to behave, and absolutely lacking in self-knowledge, and really believed a Camino Granny was fair game. I am not excusing him, but I have to forgive. And I can assure you all that my verbal riposte was...well...quite castrating!
Harington - NONE of it was your fault! It was 100% this disgusting man's responsibility that he acted the way he did.
 

BShea

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
(9/2013) Le Puy
(5/2015) CF
(5/2016) Le Puy
(5/2017) CF
(9/2017) Le Puy
Dude... Sorry you still haven't found "her". I am just happy to know you're still alive!!! Haven't seen any posts from you for ages! I wrongly assumed it was because you had found someone and had moved on. When's your next trek? Maybe it'll be the magical one.
 

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RJM

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
A few times, but soon again I hope....
An old thread, Still i'd like to meet her.
Yes, I sometimes think of meeting someone as well. Have met many peregrinas, and spent sometimes days with a few of them on the Camino, but the romance spark never happened or had a chance to develop.
 
Camino(s) past & future
See signature. Too many to list here.
Dude... Sorry you still haven't found "her". I am just happy to know you're still alive!!! Haven't seen any posts from you for ages! I wrongly assumed it was because you had found someone and had moved on. When's your next trek? Maybe it'll be the magical one.
Last year I stuck to Cali and did the JMT. Flying back to Spain now in Aug / Sept for a Salvador/primitivo excursion.
 

spagirl

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
frances(Sept 2018)
Hey that was an old post and bummer I should be smarter about bringing old stuff up. Now I know.
Don't be....I for one enjoyed reading all the posts that otherwise I would never have looked at.
Being wistful and romantic is never something to regret.
I also think that it is interesting that you put yourself out there and it obviously resonated wit a lot of folks and is still relevant two years later.
 

BShea

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
(9/2013) Le Puy
(5/2015) CF
(5/2016) Le Puy
(5/2017) CF
(9/2017) Le Puy
Last year I stuck to Cali and did the JMT. Flying back to Spain now in Aug / Sept for a Salvador/primitivo excursion.
Think you're missing out not walking in France... After all, if I remember correctly, one girl with which you clicked was French, right? The Le Puy route is amazing and not to be missed. Just a thought...
 

KJFSophie

My Way, With Joy !
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2014 & 2015 ) ,Via San Francesco, Italy (2017 )
Camino Portugese (2018 )
Ok, its melodramatic but true... One of the reasons I keep going back is because I'm looking for "her".

This year, before I left for the Camino, I had a dream, literally. I dreamt I met a woman fair, who could keep up with extended distances, who would sing with me along open expanses and not be shy even when we could be heard by others, always telling good jokes in between.

I met this French girl who satisfied those criteria, and we walked a fabulous walk from SJPdP to Santiago in a breeze, together, all along the way, singing.

She went home to her life and her boyfriend.

Oh well.

On a trip previously in 2009 I met a fantastically beautiful, incredibly smart, politically savvy Peregrina from the USA, who could walk like the wind. We met up again for another trip together in 2011. She was recently wed and had her first child.

I am embarrassed to admit it, but these two camino experiences have bookended my camino memories. I also walked with my mother, my sister, on separate occasions, and alone on still more.

Still though, I can't let go of thinking "what if"? What if on my next camino we actually can meet and explore life beyond the camino together.

The romance of it all, we've all seen the young ones get caught up in it. On the Norte two years ago I talked with a young woman who was explaining that she had to get away from her best friend and that new German boy because after three days that couple had gone from introductions to infatuation and then on to incompatibility, obviously causing a palatable tension among their group.

The thing is, when people ask me about why I go back to the Camino, I tell them its because of the like minded folk. Adventuresome. Seeking. The strength to take on the unknown in a foreign land. Searching for meaning.

But really its because I am looking for her. Like minded.

And also because I lose a bunch of weight at the same time. And get better at Spanish. And there is nothing more relaxing than waking up, walking, eating, walking more, finding a place to stay, showering, laundry, eating, and sleeping, over and over again.


This OP goes way back to 2015, has @Damien Reynolds walked since then? Found his love? I read through lots of these old , very opinionated posts. Some screaming that camino isn't a dating walk, mate site, etc... But reading Damien's words reminds me that we all walk for very different reasons. I see nothing wrong with a person wanting to make a deep connection with another that loves the very premise of walking camino as much as he does. At the very core, making that kind of a trek comes from the soul. I hope he found his connection.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Camino September-October 2017
I fell in love on the Camino and it was a wonderful experience, however, he lived across the ocean, which made it really hard. It just wasn't the same when we were together outside of the Camino, probably because neither of us were the same people at home. My next Camino, I am going to avoid romance as much as possible. I don't regret my first experience, but it definitely was distracting. Hopefully on my next walk, I can fall in love with myself and figure out how to be the same person at home as I am on the Camino.

When you find love (on the Camino or elsewhere), I wish you the strength to deal with the obstacles. Everything's easy when all you have to worry about is walking to the next town. Trying to maintain a relationship with someone from a different culture and who lives far away is so hard :( Or maybe you can use the camino dating app to filter peregrinas who live within 20 miles of you and are in your age range haha.
 

KinkyOne

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
I'am not perfect, but I'm always myself!!!
:..
When you find love (on the Camino or elsewhere), I wish you the strength to deal with the obstacles. Everything's easy when all you have to worry about is walking to the next town. Trying to maintain a relationship with someone from a different culture and who lives far away is so hard :( Or maybe you can use the camino dating app to filter peregrinas who live within 20 miles of you and are in your age range haha.
Kind of happened to me too. But we soon enough discovered it won't work. No problem. So many relationships ended from the elementary school onward ;)
But there are at least two stories with "happy" ending. From the memory... One is the couple that used to own the first bar when you come to Bercianos del Real Camino (after Sahagun, they sold it and moved to Alicante because of their son), the second one is a couple that opened albergue in Las Herrerias (I've heard they separated) and then there's our forum member @angeliki louk :D:D:D
Use search function and you will be able to read all about her getting to know love of her life on Camino and gave a birth to a son and then they went together on Camino. Sounds unbelievable? Well, it's not ;)
 
Camino(s) past & future
SJPP - Finisterre (2005) ; LePuy - Muxia (2007) ; Porto - SC. (2009) planning Lourdes- SC (2018)
Texas guy - I truly like your sentiment. I am planning on my first camino in May 2016. I think I will wake up every day from now until then - thinking listen to the wind and the rain. My decision to make the camino came after the loss of my husband. I know I have been looking for him since I lost him. Maybe I will find him there whispering to me when the wind blows.
Somewhere I picked this up (I think it was in a Carlos Castaneda book ) that women are most in their power when they listen to the wind. whether you take this literal or not, I wish you a deeply healing journey.
 

DeadFred

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
St Jean-Los Arcos ,Sept, Oct 14'
Los Arcos - Logrono-May16'
Next Logrono to ? - Sept 2019
I fell in love on the Camino and it was a wonderful experience, however, he lived across the ocean, which made it really hard. It just wasn't the same when we were together outside of the Camino, probably because neither of us were the same people at home. My next Camino, I am going to avoid romance as much as possible.
hmmm Wonder if a "Marriott Camino Pilgrim Lodge & Spa" would work, you know , 5 star Restaurant, ATM, auto -passport stamp station . massage parlor " < joke .. :)
 

DeadFred

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
St Jean-Los Arcos ,Sept, Oct 14'
Los Arcos - Logrono-May16'
Next Logrono to ? - Sept 2019
I fully trust that's a good joke, right? The way things are moving away from the original intent of the Camino, someone probably just might do this.
right :)
 
Camino(s) past & future
See signature. Too many to list here.
This OP goes way back to 2015, has @Damien Reynolds walked since then? Found his love? I read through lots of these old , very opinionated posts. Some screaming that camino isn't a dating walk, mate site, etc... But reading Damien's words reminds me that we all walk for very different reasons. I see nothing wrong with a person wanting to make a deep connection with another that loves the very premise of walking camino as much as he does. At the very core, making that kind of a trek comes from the soul. I hope he found his connection.
Walked some since then. Met some wonderful people. Going back in a week or so.
 

KJFSophie

My Way, With Joy !
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances (2014 & 2015 ) ,Via San Francesco, Italy (2017 )
Camino Portugese (2018 )
Walked some since then. Met some wonderful people. Going back in a week or so.
...and still looking for your love? Make sure you are not looking among the branches for what can only be found in the roots... Be well, Buen Camino!
 

anji

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
2017
Last year I did the camino but was in a horrible head-space... I've been single since 2009ish and have had some medical issues since (injuries in service) so - I haven't even given a single thought to dating the past ten years. I don't want to be single my entire life (i'm only 40!) but I'm not looking for it intentionally. I guess if it happens, it happens. If not, oh well. I leave Saint Jean October 1st with at least one other person, maybe more.... up to six. I have social anxiety and rarely get out of my house since my injuries in 2010 so for me?The Camino is one of the only social things I do anymore -- the only place where I meet new people.... And my home city is not where Iwant to be or even should be... but it's where I am at now... and it's the best I can do...

So secretely, I'd love to meet someone on the camino... my real-life world is pretty quiet so maybe a new 'reset' on my life, is needed.... and if I meet someone and that's what comes?Then that's fine with me :)

We shouldn't be shamed for having hope that we'll meet someone who at least is like-minded in that you're willing to take a risk, do something out of your comfort zone, work with varying circumstances.... we all must make concessions in life, whether I meet a nice Scottish guy(LOL, okay, I'm being specific now, I'm a sucker for scottish accents and my family is from there, LOL) on the camino or on the bus down the street from my house...

That's all part of the adventures!

anji
 

Iriebabel

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances April (2018)
? route TBD for April (2019)
Last year I did the camino but was in a horrible head-space... I've been single since 2009ish and have had some medical issues since (injuries in service) so - I haven't even given a single thought to dating the past ten years. I don't want to be single my entire life (i'm only 40!) but I'm not looking for it intentionally. I guess if it happens, it happens. If not, oh well. I leave Saint Jean October 1st with at least one other person, maybe more.... up to six. I have social anxiety and rarely get out of my house since my injuries in 2010 so for me?The Camino is one of the only social things I do anymore -- the only place where I meet new people.... And my home city is not where Iwant to be or even should be... but it's where I am at now... and it's the best I can do...

So secretely, I'd love to meet someone on the camino... my real-life world is pretty quiet so maybe a new 'reset' on my life, is needed.... and if I meet someone and that's what comes?Then that's fine with me :)

We shouldn't be shamed for having hope that we'll meet someone who at least is like-minded in that you're willing to take a risk, do something out of your comfort zone, work with varying circumstances.... we all must make concessions in life, whether I meet a nice Scottish guy(LOL, okay, I'm being specific now, I'm a sucker for scottish accents and my family is from there, LOL) on the camino or on the bus down the street from my house...

That's all part of the adventures!

anji
Just walk ...the rest will come in time. Sounds like we share similar issues and although I may seem like I am really out going I have the same issues with social anxiety. I was not looking for anyone to date whilst on the camino although I was told by some thats why women are walking. You can be as social or antisocial as you want it’s up to you. I would say keep an open mind and a open heart and wheather on the camino or during the course of your travels you may or may not find love but you will find a camino family with life lasting friendships. I just finished writing my post camino summary https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...yborg-turtle-with-post-camino-thoughts.57400/. Since I have been home its back to being a house fly. my military injuries affect my life in many ways and like you travelling and also walking the camino keeps me sane . I wish you good luck in meeting him ...me too I guess lol. Buen Camino
 

Iriebabel

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances April (2018)
? route TBD for April (2019)
Walked some since then. Met some wonderful people. Going back in a week or so.
You just never know , this could be the one . There may be a reason you keep coming back to the camino when the time is right the camino may not provide the lady but it will give you the answer you have been searching for . Good luck and Buen Camino
 

anji

New Member
Camino(s) past & future
2017
Just walk ...the rest will come in time. Sounds like we share similar issues and although I may seem like I am really out going I have the same issues with social anxiety. I was not looking for anyone to date whilst on the camino although I was told by some thats why women are walking. You can be as social or antisocial as you want it’s up to you. I would say keep an open mind and a open heart and wheather on the camino or during the course of your travels you may or may not find love but you will find a camino family with life lasting friendships. I just finished writing my post camino summary https://www.caminodesantiago.me/com...yborg-turtle-with-post-camino-thoughts.57400/. Since I have been home its back to being a house fly. my military injuries affect my life in many ways and like you travelling and also walking the camino keeps me sane . I wish you good luck in meeting him ...me too I guess lol. Buen Camino
Mine are also military-service related injuries... it's soooo draining! I have also PTSD and major depressive disorder and a complex regional pain syndrome along with the nerve damage, back damage, SI/hip damage... ugh... it's the whole shebang. The Way is one of the only reasons I am not dead (the movie) and last year, the group I went with (PTSD veterans)and they left me behind because Iwas fat. So Ihad to walk on my own and then was sexually assaulted by an elderly boob grabber in Burgos. The only reason Ididn't beat the crap out of him, a little girl was right there... (i tracked him down the next day and had him arrested)

This time, Ihave another veteran with me, who is both military and police and... we are going to be prepared for burgos, to see if he is still targetting women... (70 years old, works with a buddy... he is maybe 4'5 tall, the other maybe 6'. THey do it every day... so we will expose them this time... and make sure they are properly dealt with by the law.

But - despite that crap, burgos is still one of my favourite places there... we should try and keep in touch 'cause Ithink we do have a lot in common!My computer is on the fritz and - this little tablet is quirky, testing my patience, LOL!
 

Iriebabel

Active Member
Camino(s) past & future
Camino Frances April (2018)
? route TBD for April (2019)
Mine are also military-service related injuries... it's soooo draining! I have also PTSD and major depressive disorder and a complex regional pain syndrome along with the nerve damage, back damage, SI/hip damage... ugh... it's the whole shebang. The Way is one of the only reasons I am not dead (the movie) and last year, the group I went with (PTSD veterans)and they left me behind because Iwas fat. So Ihad to walk on my own and then was sexually assaulted by an elderly boob grabber in Burgos. The only reason Ididn't beat the crap out of him, a little girl was right there... (i tracked him down the next day and had him arrested)

This time, Ihave another veteran with me, who is both military and police and... we are going to be prepared for burgos, to see if he is still targetting women... (70 years old, works with a buddy... he is maybe 4'5 tall, the other maybe 6'. THey do it every day... so we will expose them this time... and make sure they are properly dealt with by the law.

But - despite that crap, burgos is still one of my favourite places there... we should try and keep in touch 'cause Ithink we do have a lot in common!My computer is on the fritz and - this little tablet is quirky, testing my patience, LOL!
Sorry to hear that you had a hard time on the camino...Dont let the creeps detract from what you have accomplished in military and camino and shame on those folks who left you behind... but I get it they have to walk their own camino. However I know that their lack of empathy just further made you feel more isolated . I walked alone and it was the best thing for me. my walk was painful but good. I feel so much more clarity since I walked in April. I am happy you caught the guy but I ashamed to say I dont think they learned their lesson. I was stationed in Portugal and this sort of thing happend often there. I just make it known I wont tolerate it. Keep your chin up and walk your walk. I am heading back next April. If I can also recommend a book that helped me a lot....”Shift Happens” by Robert Holden PhD. By all means yes please keep in touch. PM me if you want to talk privately. Read my post camino summary and then tell me what you think.
 
Last edited:
Camino(s) past & future
'Portuguese' ' Frances' ' Norte' 'Salvador_prim' ‘le puy’ ‘Inglés’ ‘CDM’ ‘Invierno’ ‘Fin_Mux’
Hi friends. Getting ready to do it again. Another hike, another guess. Another chance. In Spain 8/30.
Welcome back Damien, I see the big day has arrived again.
On the Salvador it will be quiet, tho at this time of the year you should see a few others walking ; but if not., and you’re solo - it will be a surprisingly wonderfull experience to to really focus on the camino and the world around you.

Once on the primitivo I’m sure the more social walk will happen.
“ I hope you find what you’re looking for, Somewhere along the Way’.

See the link to @DanfromSydney in his forum post earlier this month with a great new camino song.
https://www.caminodesantiago.me/community/threads/new-camino-song.57181/

Buen Camino
Annie
 
Camino(s) past & future
See signature. Too many to list here.
UPDATE; Day 1 - Camino Primitivo 28km - Nice not so insane stage today, leaving Oviedo and heading to Grado. I actually decided to add an extra 5k to the trip by leaving Oviedo in the wrong direction but that’s just me being dumb and another story.

Anyways, it was a steady stream of ascents and descents through green wooded paths and along a river, but all mild. Still hot and humid though.

About a quarter of the way through the stage, having observed my “Peregrino” company, I came to the conclusion “they are all dudes.” I have harbored the thought In the past that maybe I’d find a soulmate on the trail, apparently it wouldn’t be this trip. Whatever, I’m getting in shape and it’s so fun, who cares.

So walking around a bend in the road, I needed to pee. It being a not so travelled road and there being fewer Peregrinos around than usual (it’s the Primitivo) I just went without thinking much about it.

As I was zipping up I heard a feminine voice say “hola”. I turned and looked and there was the dark long raven black hair, deep eyes, olive skin, and sculpted cheeks but still soft features of a beautiful Spanish woman. Most importantly, she was “age appropriate.”

On the Camino, for an early forties male, age appropriate is rare. It’s my impression that the people who do this are either in their 20’s or 50’s+ (people with time). My guess for her is mid thirties.

She walked past me briskly. She had trekking poles and a reasonable pack. She walked fast.

Now, on more than one occasion I’ve “raced a Spaniard”. It’s not just me, trust me, they are racing too.

I chose to continue at my usual pace, and I think she was startled that I was keeping up. I trailed her for about a km about 5 meters behind. Being fast, she was probably not used to someone keeping up with her. She might have been weirded out and decided to take a stop at a small church off the side of the road to see if I was a creep, or to lose me.

I walked past without even looking at her and continued along the way.

So I continued along and was almost passed by a middle aged Spanish man with a “bolsa chica” (small backpack because he is having someone else carry his stuff). I despise the middle aged men with small bags who try to race me. I picked it up just a little to wear down his stamina and his heart. He never passed.

About 15 minutes later I heard the tap tap tap of walking sticks and glanced over my shoulder. It was her. She paced me, about 5 feet behind, for a half km or so.

I eventually spoke to her in my infantile Spanish. She’s from Leon. At one point, she asked me (in Spanish because she didn’t speak a lick of English), “Is this your first Camino?”

Now I have vowed never to ask that question, because all it really is a quest for the recipient to reciprocate the question at which point one can brag about their own experience. I chuckled, and replied “nueve” (9). Turns out for her it was six!

We walked along each at a similar pace, with her ahead slightly. She stopped to pet a horse. I moo’d at the cows. Not much interaction.

For the next 10k I was about 20 meters behind her. She wasn’t slowing down to talk to me, maybe she was even trying to get rid of me, or maybe she was playing hard to get.

So we get into Grado and I decide to stop for a coke and a rest. I figure, if she is interested, at some point she’ll turn around and notice I am gone. If she isn’t interested than at least I have my rest and a coke.

So I hang out at this bar for about 1/2 hour, and then bolsa chica man walks up. He says to me, excitedly, “are you going to the Alburgue (or where is the alburgue?)” I told him “I don’t know, I am not staying there.” He looked so startled. I said “tengo un hotel”... he was completely confused. He said, “oh so you are going further?”

Not wanting to explain I just said “si”.

Nightmare scenario: She is actually interested and they end up at the same alburgue and they talk about the fast walker from California and he tells her “he went further.” So she decides to wake up early and try to catch up and in reality just separates us further (and she’s fast so I’d never see her again.)

Most likely scenario: she’s just not interested and tomorrow is just another day on the Camino. I’m cool with that.

Tomorrow, if we do meet and speak, I will ask her name.
 

KinkyOne

Veteran Member
Camino(s) past & future
I'am not perfect, but I'm always myself!!!
UPDATE; Day 1 - Camino Primitivo 28km - Nice not so insane stage today, leaving Oviedo and heading to Grado. I actually decided to add an extra 5k to the trip by leaving Oviedo in the wrong direction but that’s just me being dumb and another story.

Anyways, it was a steady stream of ascents and descents through green wooded paths and along a river, but all mild. Still hot and humid though.

About a quarter of the way through the stage, having observed my “Peregrino” company, I came to the conclusion “they are all dudes.” I have harbored the thought In the past that maybe I’d find a soulmate on the trail, apparently it wouldn’t be this trip. Whatever, I’m getting in shape and it’s so fun, who cares.

So walking around a bend in the road, I needed to pee. It being a not so travelled road and there being fewer Peregrinos around than usual (it’s the Primitivo) I just went without thinking much about it.

As I was zipping up I heard a feminine voice say “hola”. I turned and looked and there was the dark long raven black hair, deep eyes, olive skin, and sculpted cheeks but still soft features of a beautiful Spanish woman. Most importantly, she was “age appropriate.”

On the Camino, for an early forties male, age appropriate is rare. It’s my impression that the people who do this are either in their 20’s or 50’s+ (people with time). My guess for her is mid thirties.

She walked past me briskly. She had trekking poles and a reasonable pack. She walked fast.

Now, on more than one occasion I’ve “raced a Spaniard”. It’s not just me, trust me, they are racing too.

I chose to continue at my usual pace, and I think she was startled that I was keeping up. I trailed her for about a km about 5 meters behind. Being fast, she was probably not used to someone keeping up with her. She might have been weirded out and decided to take a stop at a small church off the side of the road to see if I was a creep, or to lose me.

I walked past without even looking at her and continued along the way.

So I continued along and was almost passed by a middle aged Spanish man with a “bolsa chica” (small backpack because he is having someone else carry his stuff). I despise the middle aged men with small bags who try to race me. I picked it up just a little to wear down his stamina and his heart. He never passed.

About 15 minutes later I heard the tap tap tap of walking sticks and glanced over my shoulder. It was her. She paced me, about 5 feet behind, for a half km or so.

I eventually spoke to her in my infantile Spanish. She’s from Leon. At one point, she asked me (in Spanish because she didn’t speak a lick of English), “Is this your first Camino?”

Now I have vowed never to ask that question, because all it really is a quest for the recipient to reciprocate the question at which point one can brag about their own experience. I chuckled, and replied “nueve” (9). Turns out for her it was six!

We walked along each at a similar pace, with her ahead slightly. She stopped to pet a horse. I moo’d at the cows. Not much interaction.

For the next 10k I was about 20 meters behind her. She wasn’t slowing down to talk to me, maybe she was even trying to get rid of me, or maybe she was playing hard to get.

So we get into Grado and I decide to stop for a coke and a rest. I figure, if she is interested, at some point she’ll turn around and notice I am gone. If she isn’t interested than at least I have my rest and a coke.

So I hang out at this bar for about 1/2 hour, and then bolsa chica man walks up. He says to me, excitedly, “are you going to the Alburgue (or where is the alburgue?)” I told him “I don’t know, I am not staying there.” He looked so startled. I said “tengo un hotel”... he was completely confused. He said, “oh so you are going further?”

Not wanting to explain I just said “si”.

Nightmare scenario: She is actually interested and they end up at the same alburgue and they talk about the fast walker from California and he tells her “he went further.” So she decides to wake up early and try to catch up and in reality just separates us further (and she’s fast so I’d never see her again.)

Most likely scenario: she’s just not interested and tomorrow is just another day on the Camino. I’m cool with that.

Tomorrow, if we do meet and speak, I will ask her name.
That's just so cute, Damien :D
Really, it is!!!

Wish you all the best in each and every way!
 

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