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Still overwhelmed it is over.....

Mary West

New Member
Time of past OR future Camino
Plan for May 2015
I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.
 
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I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.

Mary,

Your feelings are well known to people on this forum! I also felt like you after returning from the camino in 2011.
It was reading this forum that encouraged me to walk the camino again......and then again......and now planning another for September 2016.
Maybe the camino is not finished with you - or you with it. Good luck!

buen camino
 
yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not.
You got it! It is the essential loneliness of life. All there is to life is others, but you only get glimpses of them. Without the glimpses, you are REALLY alone. It is a hard realization, but a good one to reach.

Congratulations, and may you have complete success in accepting it. :)
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
Thank you for reminding me of the people I met who told me that it was their second, third and fourth Camino, at the time, I could not even think beyond walking another day and here were others who had come back again and again. I suppose I felt I would have a sense of conclusion at Santiago and I have confused that feeling with that of achievement maybe. I do not want to feel this sense of loss now that it is over, nor do I want to continually search - does that not mean, surely that I am not at ease? Live is hard enough!!!
 
IMHO, the finest thing you can do when you have received a great gift is to turn around and become a giver.
Take your loneliness and your enlightenment, and volunteer somewhere that people or creatures are lonely and really just need some human contact. Go and visit the people in a nursing home, or the critters in the animal shelter, take them out for a walk in the sunshine. Step out of yourself, and meet needs that are greater than your own. Just because.
The camino turns on a little light inside you. (It is debateable whether going back over and over to Spain makes it shine any brighter.) It was not put there to be kept just to yourself -- thus your desire to share your experience.
Your experience is just a small part of that little light. It's up to you to take it out and share it, and help light up the darkness that seems to be dominating the world out there.
 
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Thank you and my apologies if my post sounded self indulgent. You are so right, however, one of my reasons for walking was to take time for myself and put on hold the "people pleasing" and dominant side of my nature just for a few weeks. The first day was so stressful because I felt a neglectful Mother, irresponsible Wife and unfit Business Owner. I walked because people made sure I could, from the parents at school, my amazing work colleagues and wonderful Husband. One of my problems is that I have too much empathy and do not look after my own well being. I think this is why I have felt so bereft having finished, because I have, of course, slipped back into my old ways after having taken a breath of my own. I need to, and will look for a way of giving which does not take it's toll. Thank you
 
Thank you Mary. I'd like to suggest you are processing your journey through and with us. listen to what you are saying. you have the wisdom needed to move forward. We support you on your journey. Courage.
 
Dear Mary,
the way I read your post, i think you are not finished with the Camino: You have just discovered/found/opened it. It may take you one more (or more) walk to get to the bottom of whatever you have been moved of/found in your life. Do not expect those around you who haven't walked, to understand. This community understands. That is why you are coming back here, and why we walk again.
 
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Thank you and my apologies if my post sounded self indulgent. You are so right, however, one of my reasons for walking was to take time for myself and put on hold the "people pleasing" and dominant side of my nature just for a few weeks. The first day was so stressful because I felt a neglectful Mother, irresponsible Wife and unfit Business Owner. I walked because people made sure I could, from the parents at school, my amazing work colleagues and wonderful Husband. One of my problems is that I have too much empathy and do not look after my own well being. I think this is why I have felt so bereft having finished, because I have, of course, slipped back into my old ways after having taken a breath of my own. I need to, and will look for a way of giving which does not take it's toll. Thank you

You owe it to yourself, and also to those you love and work with to make yourself happy and fulfilled. The call of the camino is strong in some people (such as the pilgrims who haunt this forum) and you need to answer it. You have people depending on you, as many of us here do. I'm thinking that in a couple of years the call on my time by loved ones will prohibit me from walking the camino beyond that time, so I'm planning another camino in the spring of 2017. That way I won't be so resentful if I'm never able to walk the camino again.
 
I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.
Hy Mary , the feeling you have begun for me during the Camino Frances of my wife in 2013. We walked together in 2014 and this year I walked alone! to Santiago where I arrived on May 24th.
At the time I was finist with the walking part but not the mental part of it.
And now I will walk every year a different Camino.
Wish you all the best and when you are coming back to Spain I wish you a Buen Camino, Peter.
 
Decided to go on a VERY long drive these days, 3 500km in 3 days, so public radio has been a blessing. This evening the CBC aired a piece on 36 questions to ask so you may fall in love. A lot of it reminded me of the Camino: why it is we feel such a quick bond to total strangers. (OK, on the social Frances where you will have time to ask 36 questions).

Ivey leaguer profs have developped a questionnaire which will allow you to "fall in love". Thing is that these are the sa,e questions I think we easily come to ask on the Camino. The scientist explain that these are questions which make you vulneralbe, who make the person asking them..... Why ...? Look it up @ www.ttbooks.org amd on the page look for the 36 questions. Also google NPR and Arthur Aaron and you may fing the interview in which he explains why these questions are powerful, and why I see the links to the Camino "magic". For instance he talks about love and doing thigns that push you out of your comfort zone, etc.

@Damien Reynolds , I thought about you while listening. Perhaps ypu can apply this at home to find the perfect girl?
 
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I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.

Hi Mary. I walked into Santiago a few days after you, on 6th June. You are not alone with these feelings, don't worry ;)

In my last few days of walking, I just wanted to reach Santiago, and go home. I wanted to get home to continue my journey.......

It had been an amazing experience over 40 days.
As we all know here, a truly life changing experience. (that is almost impossible to share with those who have not walked themselves)

So I was excited to get home....

But whilst I had changed a lot. Or at least in my own mind I had. The world I left behind had not. Why would it?
I think that's why we all 'hang out' here so much. To share our thoughts and feelings with those who can understand.

But like you I've been home now 6 months or more. And whilst in those last few days of walking I wanted nothing more than to finish, to go home and 'change the world'......... I'm now wondering if that sense of pure joy of walking the Camino, those emotions, those wonderful encounters with others on the way........ can only be experienced.........on the way.....

I hope not.

The transition for some is not easy I think. Perhaps harder for those most profoundly impacted emotionally by the journey. So I plan to walk again. Next year. This time taking my wife. For just a 'shortie' from Sarria, as part of a broader trip to Europe.

I rather think that the year after next or the one after that, I might be back again, alone, for the 'full monty' from St Jean once again. Who knows.

But in the meantime, I try to re-live and recall those fantastic lessons that we all learn whilst walking, and bit by bit apply them in my 'real life'.
And bit by bit.... it's feeling like my Camino might be continuing, as I hoped it would ;)
 
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Decided to go on a VERY long drive these days, 3 500km in 3 days, so public radio has been a blessing. This evening the CBC aired a piece on 36 questions to ask so you may fall in love. A lot of it reminded me of the Camino: why it is we feel such a quick bond to total strangers. (OK, on the social Frances where you will have time to ask 36 questions).

Ivey leaguer profs have developped a questionnaire which will allow you to "fall in love". Thing is that these are the sa,e questions I think we easily come to ask on the Camino. The scientist explain that these are questions which make you vulneralbe, who make the person asking them..... Why ...? Look it up @ www.ttbooks.org amd on the page look for the 36 questions. Also google NPR and Arthur Aaron and you may fing the interview in which he explains why these questions are powerful, and why I see the links to the Camino "magic". For instance he talks about love and doing thigns that push you out of your comfort zone, etc.

@Damien Reynolds , I thought about you while listening. Perhaps ypu can apply this at home to find the perfect girl?

Very interesting questions! http://national.deseretnews.com/article/3233/36-questions-to-help-you-fall-in-love.html

And I'm sure you're right, in that those intense conversations we have on the Camino with complete strangers creates a kind of 'speed bonding' process :)
 
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I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.
Hi Mary, so many others understand that dazed look from friends and family when they hear the word 'Camino'. But in my case, not everyone! I had put together a slide show of my journey this year 'A Walk In Gratitude', made DVD copies and mailed them to my family for their Christmas stockings. My son, who from the start, was my biggest booster, called me immediately after watching it and said "Mom, are you ready for this?". " Depends on what 'this' is said I. "I'm going to do the Camino". An hour's conversation ensued, with me totally giddy with excitement. So it's possible that in your sharing, you might just spark someone else to do what you did. Keep the faith.
 
Thank you all for your wonderful comments - where did I get this idea that it is over!! I suppose that I had looked forward for so long, planned for so long and practised packing for so long that the actual journey began for me over eighteen years ago when I sat having a cup of tea with a new neighbour who had completed his walk only four weeks before. This was the first time I had even heard of the Camino and it stayed with me until I could work it into my life. You are all so right, I am glad it will never be over. My love and best wishes to you all and I hope we all never stop looking forward.
 
Where on earth did you get the idea it is over? Sounds like you are just getting started:)

That's just what I was thinking too :) The act of walking is just the beginning. I think that walking gives you the chance to open your mind and body to change, but it isn't the change itself. Its an opportunity to remove yourself from the noise of day-to-day life so that you can think and feel the way you need to. The changes come when you return to your life and incorporate part of the Camino into your life.

Mary, you said:

One of my problems is that I have too much empathy and do not look after my own well being. I think this is why I have felt so bereft having finished, because I have, of course, slipped back into my old ways after having taken a breath of my own.

You've identified the issue - that's half the battle. Now you just need to work on NOT slipping back into your old ways. You said you are a people pleaser, which leads me to believe that you are probably someone who says "yes" to any and all requests for your time. If that is the case - stop it ;) A request for your time is just a request - not an obligation. Be mindful about how you decide to spend your time. Time is a finite resource - there is only so much of it and once you spend it, that time is gone forever. So, figure out what activities in your life are critical and then which activities are most valuable to you - which activities bring richness and fulfillment to your life and your family - and focus on those things. Do the things you MUST do (obviously) and then do the things that fulfill you and your family. Then just forget the rest.

The holidays make a good micro-example of this - there are a bzillion things to do around Christmas - an absolute ton and it can be overwhelming, so much so that many people don't even enjoy Christmas because of the stress and the work. So...take a step back and decide what you are going to do. You have to do some stuff - go to work, buy groceries, pay bills, etc. - that's a given. But the other stuff is optional - sending out Christmas cards, baking cookies for the kids' bake sale, making crafts for the kids' holiday gift fair, making costumes for the kids' holiday pageant, buying presents for everyone, running a holiday food drive, volunteering at church, getting the Christmas tree, decorating the tree, decorating the house, going to a Christmas festival, going to the company holiday party, going to the spouse's holiday office party, going to so-and-so's Christmas party... On and on and on and on until you are dead on your feet. So you look at the list and decide what is most important - what do YOU love about the holidays and what are the most important things for your family?

Maybe there are 5 things you could do with your kids' school around Christmas - talk to the kids and pick the 2 most important things - maybe the kids don't really mind if you don't send cookies for the bake sale, but being in the pageant is really important to them, so make the costumes and forget about the cookies. Maybe your very most favorite thing about Christmas is getting the tree and decorating it, but sending out Christmas cards is a chore that you dread and decorating the outside of the house always turns into a hassle. Dump the cards (or maybe just send out a few to key people), forget about decorating the outside of the house, and instead make a family event out of getting the tree and decorating it. You've decreased your to-do list by eliminating some optional things you don't really want to do anyway and now you have time to focus on the things that are really important and meaningful.

You can extend the same thinking to all kinds of aspects of your life and work.
 
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I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.
Maybe I'm missing something here but this is one of the saddest posts I have ever read on this form. I get the scene that you were looking for something on your camino, as many are, but it stayed just beyond your grasp. If this is so all I can say is, keep looking, never loose hope, never give up. You may feel alone on the camino but you're never alone on the camino. Buen Camino

Happy Trails
 
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Hey Mary,

I can understand your feelings. I have a shared story in some ways and with your later comment on empathy think we may have a common 'problem'. Fortunately for me I live in Northern Spain so getting on camino when I'm feeling at sea is possible, however, it's not realistic for anyone, with a life, kids or business to get out there every time they feel the call.

Have you considered looking into these feelings of over empathy more closely? As the camino gave you a chance to focus squarely on your needs and thoughts, is there a way to put yourself front and centre at home? I think many of us confuse being 'self-full' (being so fulfilled that your capacity to give improves and the quality of your giving improves) with being 'selfish'. To give an example, I know that I have many traits of codependency, that sounds like a diagnosis of sorts but actually understanding myself and what makes me tick is a sort of 'camino' for a person who wasn't putting their basic or higher needs first. I can replicate that feeling of peace that I have on the camino by putting my needs first at home and spending time in gratitude in nature, spending time in meditation, making connections about my thoughts and the outcomes in my life. Is there any room for those kinds of activities, could you make the room?

There's always a lot of talk about bringing the camino home but it's often an abstract concept that can be difficult to grasp. Maybe others can share what that means to them, what it means practically?
 
The focus is on reducing the risk of failure through being well prepared. 2nd ed.
For me the Camino never ended. It changed the way that I interact with people and form friendships. There were many "divine appointments" on the Camino, a cross-pollination of lives that transformed both of us. Now that my eyes are open to this, it happens often, even now that I am home. I am looking forward to the Camino Portugués next September!
 
Decided to go on a VERY long drive these days, 3 500km in 3 days, so public radio has been a blessing. This evening the CBC aired a piece on 36 questions to ask so you may fall in love. A lot of it reminded me of the Camino: why it is we feel such a quick bond to total strangers. (OK, on the social Frances where you will have time to ask 36 questions).

Ivey leaguer profs have developped a questionnaire which will allow you to "fall in love". Thing is that these are the sa,e questions I think we easily come to ask on the Camino. The scientist explain that these are questions which make you vulneralbe, who make the person asking them..... Why ...? Look it up @ www.ttbooks.org amd on the page look for the 36 questions. Also google NPR and Arthur Aaron and you may fing the interview in which he explains why these questions are powerful, and why I see the links to the Camino "magic". For instance he talks about love and doing thigns that push you out of your comfort zone, etc.

@Damien Reynolds , I thought about you while listening. Perhaps ypu can apply this at home to find the perfect girl?


Here is one link to those very fascinating questions (thank you, @Anemone del Camino for sharing the information).

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0

@Damien Reynolds ;)
 
I do not want to feel this sense of loss now that it is over, nor do I want to continually search - does that not mean, surely that I am not at ease? Live is hard enough!!!

Sometimes Mary, life goes out of its way to make us feel uneasy. Sometimes life becomes so hard that we are forced to review where we are on our life's journey. Perhaps this sense of unease is a gift to you from the Camino. I guess it will be only you, when you have reflected on your life and circumstances, who will be able to see or feel your way to a place that feels better, more fulfilled or 'easy'. It is no accident that you walked the Camino and no accident that these feelings have been generated within you. I suggest that you plan another Camino and in the meantime consciously continue with your own personal journey. I do wish you so very well on your journey through self discovery and growth.
Aidan
 
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Dear Aiden and all,

You have all brought my wandering thoughts back to the Camino, of course it was no accident and of course it is not over. I am grateful to you all for your thoughts and understanding. I think that this experience has been so profound for me because, it is probably the first thing that I have ever done at my great age of 51 which has just been about me. Even the birth of my darling Daugher was as it should be with my Husband. I am emotionally wobbly because I want this feeling to continue at no cost to my life and family and I am trying to find the way. Sounds ironic - I know!
 
The Camino is never over, once you have taken the first step, but be aware, it comes at a cost to your so-called normal life. You are not the same anymore, embrace the change. Buen Camino, SY
 
Sometimes Mary, life goes out of its way to make us feel uneasy. Sometimes life becomes so hard that we are forced to review where we are on our life's journey. Perhaps this sense of unease is a gift to you from the Camino. I guess it will be only you, when you have reflected on your life and circumstances, who will be able to see or feel your way to a place that feels better, more fulfilled or 'easy'. It is no accident that you walked the Camino and no accident that these feelings have been generated within you. I suggest that you plan another Camino and in the meantime consciously continue with your own personal journey. I do wish you so very well on your journey through self discovery and growth.
Aidan
Thank you Aiden, I feel you have touched a spot. I will spend time reflecting on what you have said. So few can understand what it is like to walk so far.
 
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The Camino is never over, once you have taken the first step, but be aware, it comes at a cost to your so-called normal life. You are not the same anymore, embrace the change. Buen Camino, SY
Hi SY,
Thank you for your words, did you keep up long distance walking?
If you did, how did you fit it into your regular life? It took me until my Daughter was fourteen to feel that I could take six weeks out of my family and work life. How did you keep finding the time? It was such a big ask that I may need to wait for another ten years before I can expect the same support again!
 
I am in a privileged situation as I don't have any dependent kids or relatives and my work is free lancing so I am lucky to be able to be able to walk when and where I want (within reason) and I am deeply grateful for this. Buen Camino, SY

PS As for "I may need to wait for another ten years before I can expect the same support again" Why??? If you don't have any underage kids nor relatives that need your care. Why do you have to wait? Sometimes we are the ones that impose our own restrictions on ourselves.
 
I am in a privileged situation as I don't have any dependent kids or relatives and my work is free lancing so I am lucky to be able to be able to walk when and where I want (within reason) and I am deeply grateful for this. Buen Camino, SY

PS As for "I may need to wait for another ten years before I can expect the same support again" Why??? If you don't have any underage kids nor relatives that need your care. Why do you have to wait? Sometimes we are the ones that impose our own restrictions on ourselves.[/QUOT
 
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Good point! Thanks, the call to walk is strong and I suspect will get stronger until it sneaks into my diary and I start to plan again.. Looking forward to 2016 and all it may bring. Happy New Year SY
 
Thank you for reminding me of the people I met who told me that it was their second, third and fourth Camino, at the time, I could not even think beyond walking another day and here were others who had come back again and again. I suppose I felt I would have a sense of conclusion at Santiago and I have confused that feeling with that of achievement maybe. I do not want to feel this sense of loss now that it is over, nor do I want to continually search - does that not mean, surely that I am not at ease? Live is hard enough!!!
Hi Mary
Certainly each person experiences very different emotions pre-camino, during and post-camino, which is probably the magic of the experience; millions of Pilgrims, millions of unique experiences. And equally certain, the community you are now part of can only relate their experiences as a way to share and perhaps relate. I felt, and continue to feel, many different emotions and wonder how it all fits together. What helped me was to shift my own paradigm and remove the Camino as a standalone experience with a defined conclusion into the entire experience that is my life. For me understanding that the effort of making journey was the goal (rather than the idea of reaching SDC) and was one of my epiphanies. Now each day I continue my personal Camino knowing the journey continues every morning when I wake up. I suppose one day I won't wake up and that will mark the beginning of my next Camino :)
I hope you remain here with this community - sharing, learning and perhaps one day even finding yourself planning the second trip to Spain.
All the best,
Jordon
 
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Hi SY,
Thank you for your words, did you keep up long distance walking?
If you did, how did you fit it into your regular life? It took me until my Daughter was fourteen to feel that I could take six weeks out of my family and work life. How did you keep finding the time? It was such a big ask that I may need to wait for another ten years before I can expect the same support again!
Hi Mary

Your posts have moved me so much. I recognise from my own caminos many of the emotions you describe. I walked my first camino when I was 59, and as well as regarding it as the first adventure I had EVER been on, I also regarded as the first time I had ever put myself first. The children had finished university and were independent, my wife was quite capable of caring for herself, and I could not help telling myself that this one was FOR ME!

I retired from full-time work when I was 61. Subsequently I procured a part-time job which covers the cost of my yearly trips to Spain. I work the Australian summer from Dec to April, which allows me to walk in Spain in May/June, and this year I fly out on April 27th, and arrive back home on July 4th. My friends keep asking why I don't go somewhere else other than Spain, and I can't explain it in words, but I think that you know the answer to that, as do so many of the other pilgrims who post on this forum. The answer is in the heart.

I have never been able to articulate how or why the camino is so special to me. But I found this quote last week in a magazine sent to me by a wine club that I belong to, truly a case of " in wine there is truth."

"When you're travelling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road."
William Least Heat-Moon.

The man who gave me my part-time job retired 12 months ago. Just before Christmas they discovered he has two tumours, one in his lung and one on his brain. We only have one life. I send you my best wishes for whatever happens with yours.

Alan

Be brave. Life is joyous.
 
I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.
 
I completely agree. My friend and I walked the last stage of Camino francés starting from Sarria on 20 September. I think that only people who have walked any part of El Camino can understand the range of feelings we have. I am still on a high and can't wait to go back. The journey continues.
 
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I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.
Yes I agree with everything you have said. I first walked from Pamplona to Finisterre in 2002. I wanted to share with my daughters but they lasted two days.I went in 2014 but became ill after eight days. I have since walked with my son from Le Puy in France to Pamplona and beyond.It took me a couple of goes to achieve this. Very very special. One day when I am gone my son can say that he walked the Camino with his dad.I think I am now finished with that Camino and now looking for others. There is hardly a day goes by that I don't think about the experience and it has taken me a long time to know that there is only a handful of people I can share with.
 
Thank you for reminding me of the people I met who told me that it was their second, third and fourth Camino, at the time, I could not even think beyond walking another day and here were others who had come back again and again. I suppose I felt I would have a sense of conclusion at Santiago and I have confused that feeling with that of achievement maybe. I do not want to feel this sense of loss now that it is over, nor do I want to continually search - does that not mean, surely that I am not at ease? Live is hard enough!!!
@MaryWest, On my first Camino, I met a lady on the 4th day who was doing her 12th Camino. I didn't decide to do The Way .... a dear friend had suggested it. I thought "I had gone mad"... finding myself doing what I was doing. "If Santiago is the destination, then why not fly there". My normal way of thinking. And I decided the lady had definitely lost it. I asked her WHY she walked this much and she said "Here, I meet Jesus". Then I had confirmed her insane. A few days later, something happened... I don't know what it was. And I just continued. When in Santiago eventually, I WEPT for 2 days.... in complete gratitude. Thank you Holy Spirit. You guide our steps. Buen Camino :)
 
I walked into Santiago at the end of May 2015 and am still not able to reconcile my experience. I will not wax lyrical about this amazing experience as so many people on this fantastic forum already understand what it is like. I think that this could be the problem for me, that no one else can begin to understand and when the subject is brought up, eyes smile and comments of " amazing' are sounded and conversation moves on. I don't mind that, I wanted to walk alone, to find some time for me to reflect on my life, yet I am coming to understand that we are all just alone ultimately, no matter whether we are surrounded by people and the chaos of family and work life or not. Why am I still searching this forum for comments from pilgrims on The Way - even on Christmas Day, just to touch that place again? I cannot help feeling that whilst my life has been so enriched by the experience it has also left me bereft.
i totally agree..i started setember1st in st jean and finished october 7th 2015.....really took me out of orbit, but am now finding its hidden treasures as i did while walking it...ultrea!!

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Feelings are not right or wrong, good or bad, positive or negative, as we tend (or taught) to see them. They are the expressions of the profound, inner world of us, and they have the function to signal, to (re)mark what is inside us (our thoughts, our sense of ... everything), and bring those things to the consciousness. So, Mary, don't ask yourself (or anybody) "why" are you feeling that way, but "what to do" with what you feel.
To feel is good, to know it is very good, to be able to express it is even better, and to figure out what to do with it is the best.
 
Oh my !!!! I've read all your posts....I walked from León to Santiago (sep 7-22nd, 2015) with my couple, 49 and 54 years old, with a 3 year relationship. I think it was a great opportunity, the things that happen in EL CAMINO are very strong and special, but also they are very lightening of what life is all about... I use to think that everything that happens in life has a reason...NOW I'M SURE OF IT !!!! Although I haven't digested EL CAMINO, every day there's something that makes me stop and think of it. It really shook me, in a positive way most of it, and the rest is also a lecture for life.
The moments we talked, the silent ones and the ones with people around us, every single moment was special....Before our walk when I started being a part of this blog, I didn't understand why almost everyone had made EL CAMINO more than once...NOW I KNOW. Like you Mary, I touch base with the blog at least 2 times a week, just to check, just to feel part of EL CAMINO, cause EL CAMINO will always be a very special part of my life, so I plan to walk again next year....keep you all posted with my plans :)

May all of you have a GREAT NEW YEAR filled with joy and plans for a future camino.!!!!!

Sincerely, Monica
 
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My first Camino trail was 17 years ago. My next, Voie du Piémont Pyrénéen starts in September.
 
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I'm glad, Mary, that your old thread lit up again, because there will be many people in the same boat who never saw it originally. There is much wisdom here from others who have been through the same experience as you have had; Reb's post said it really well.
I hope we all find a way to let our light shine - and to share the kindness and understanding of common shared humanity that we find on the Camino, everywhere. The world needs it right now.
Buen 'everyday camino,' Mary!
 

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