Suddenly feeling terrified

Elle532 · Sep 6, 2022

So I leave for France tomorrow to start my Camino on September 9 and I'm suddenly feeling overwhelmed with fear. I was excited yesterday but now I can't answer why I am doing this and am feeling dread. Has anyone experienced this before leaving? I realize I'm headed into the total unknown, which was appealing up until now.

C clearly · Sep 6, 2022

We read that a lot on the forum! It is very common to have last minute nerves. Once you get on that flight, try to relax a bit, and by arrival you will be tired but excited in a positive way.

Buen camino!

LenB · Sep 6, 2022

Elle, you are going to be fine. Relax and enjoy the experience. There will be plenty of fellow pilgrims there to help you.

mspath · Sep 6, 2022

All of us no matter our age or experience have felt as you do.
Read this post/link and take a deep breath.
Carpe diem and Buen camino!

Kobe · Sep 6, 2022

I was in your shoes a week ago. I found that the fear becomes excitement and then suddenly back to fear again. Getting on the flight was a sense of accomplishment having finally packed and all so we were back to excitement. Landing In Paris sends one into survival mode so no room for fear there! The adventure then becomes excitement again.
However……. The roller coaster has just begun. On the trail you will experience all sorts of emotions! I have experienced exhilaration at the top of the Pyrenees as well as discouragement at the end of the day when I am exhausted and questioning if I might have been out of my mind for even considering this grand adventure. Now, a week in I realize that the Pyrenees set the stage. The mountains remind us that the ups and downs are all part of the Camino. All serves to show us what we are made of. When you reach Roncesvalles (in one piece!) you realize you must be made of what it takes. But keep in mind that you are still on the greatest rollercoaster ride of your life. Just hang on and get used to the grit in your teeth!

Walkerooni · Sep 6, 2022

Smile. Take a few deep breaths. And surrender to the fact you are about to embark on an adventure of a lifetime. You’ll be fine.

André Walker · Sep 6, 2022

I'm a man in my late 50's who completed his 5th Camino this year. And I've survived them all. So, speaking as someone who has at least a little experience, I can say that Spain is a civilised country. They've got a lot of bars, albergues, bars, shops, hotels, bars, cash machines, bars, hostels, restaurants, pharmacies, bars, churches and other places worth visiting. And there are even more nice people surrounding you all the way to Santiago.

You'll be fine.

O, did I mention they've got a lot of bars as well?

Katherine Radeka · Sep 6, 2022

Yes! I was so terrified that I tripped on the threshold of my room at SJPP while I was carrying my pack, and fell onto the stone pavement outside! My terrified husband thought our Camino was over before it started!

hawkeyepierce · Sep 6, 2022

I felt exactly the same way when I left for the Camino in July. Take deep breaths and know that this is doable.

henrythedog · Sep 6, 2022

It’s perfectly natural to feel some degree of apprehension; but I’d discount some of the hyperbole expressed.

The secret is: it’s all rather straightforward and you’ll be sharing the experience with lots of others in exactly the same state of mind. In a few days time you’ll wonder what you were bothered about.

Robo · Sep 6, 2022

LOL. Yes, been there, done that

Get yourself there, start walking, and it all makes sense fairly quickly

You'll wonder what all the fuss was about.......

woody66 · Sep 6, 2022

Hi Elle!
You will be fine don't worry yourself, it will be a great adventure that will be with you forever; but the fear won't!
The minute your feet hit the Camino you will forget your fears and love it .
It's a bit like riding a rollercoaster really scary but when you get off at the end you want another go

!!!

I felt physically sick when i got on the plane; with all the what if's piling up in my head!
(i am a 6ft 2 in beardy guy with tattoos and i was bricking it; so your feelings are normal)
Did anything bad happen; big fat no it was great!
Have the best time ever!
Buen Camino
Woody

Wandalina · Sep 6, 2022

Hey Elle its completely normal. It must be a natural instinct when we are faced with the unknown

Think about why you decided to do this trip, focus on those reasons because they were obviously important enough to encourage you to take this leap of faith.

Be as organised as you can, check all your stuff and then leave your bag in another room and relax. Do something nice for the day to celebrate your courage.

Break the journey down. You get on the plane... You have to get off at the other end

the decision is made for you.

If you arrive the evening before you start try and do a little tour of the town to see where the first marker is so you are familiar with it in the morning. Maybe get a small bit of food for your bag so you dont have to worry about that.

Next morning grab yourself a nice breakfast, celebrate your wonderfulness

and find your first marker.

I get those nerves too..but within a few kilometres you'll settle down. You'll realise that whenever you need a marker the little yellow sign will be somewhere waving at you. Its a great way to travel and its all very organised

Life is for living...and when we are all sitting on our couches in the dark days of winter these memories will burn bright for us all

Shona · Sep 6, 2022

Good morning, Elle,
yes, I felt the same on my first Camino and again on the second. However, as soon as you reach SJPP you will be gathered into the worldwide family of peregrinos. When I walked across to the Bayonne train station from my hotel to catch the first train to SJPP feeling very nervous, I was immediately welcomed by others carrying backpacks, walking poles and very big, excited smiles. None of us had met before but, well, that’s the Camino. You’ll meet many others on their first Camino and many others who have walked many. Those who have walked many I have always found to be helpful with advice when needed, encouraging when needed, and usually very good at directing to cafés, bars, albergues, what to do about blisters, aches, top bunks and where the next yellow arrow is if it’s not in sight.
I‘m not long back from walking the VdlP, which was fantastic, and I’m so envious of you, Elle! Sure wish I could join you. Buen Camino! Ultreia!
Shona

Sweetbaboo · Sep 6, 2022

Absolutely felt the same way on my first Camino. Basically, "what the heck am I getting into". It's all good. Buen Camino!!!

Parisian · Sep 6, 2022

Yes I felt the same especially after day one on my first Camino. Solved it by silencing the inner critic. And made up a mentor encouraging me on my way. "You can do it" was one of my favorites. Best to your Camino.

D74 · Sep 6, 2022

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way, but rest assured lots of people feel like this before they go...and I'd say nearly all end not wanting to leave once we finish! I've walked several caminos and still get nervous before I go. Rest assured there will be lots of people in the same boat as you, nervous and wanting to make friends. It is truly a magical place for travelling solo. So many people do it on there own and are open to friendships, I promise you'll be fine. Try to think of one day ahead, rather than the whole route.

Maybe listen to some camino podcasts, they may help remind you why you're doing it. Dan Mullin's does a good one:

https://open.spotify.com/show/5rNICOEMt74P3CcZEi0VQv?si=-KOryE6eR6iNQZn2nqQD4A

I was also interviewed for one recently, where in fact I talk about nerves before I went:

I know it may not feel like it at the moment, but you will be fine. It's a trip that will give you so much, so it's worth pushing through those pre-trip nerves, I promise.

Dan

D74 · Sep 6, 2022

What a lovely response

cbacino · Sep 6, 2022

Daniel Boone said:

“I wouldn’t give a tinker’s damn for a man who isn’t sometimes afraid. Fear’s the spice that makes it interesting to go ahead.”

If anyone should know about human emotions and exploring new places, it would be him. Everything will work out well for you.

MichaelB10398 · Sep 6, 2022

These are the feelings that confirm that you are alive, and all is as it should be. This particular feeling you have now is very human; it is normal. It is not something you need to embrace or over-indulge in. It just is. Move through it knowing that you are committed to something far greater than you are. You will walk where others have walked for a thousand years. You are joining many others that will be on the same path as you when you arrive. Together you will lift one another up and serve those that are at a point of weakness.
Your task is to keep taking one more step. You will have a great camino.

Teej41 · Sep 6, 2022

As you can see here, last minute nerves are a common experience, part of the price we pay for being human. Betcha can't wait to get to SJPDP to see and feel everything you've read/thought/dreamed about come to life in front of and all around you. Than you'll be absolutely fine. Just think of it this way:-You should be happy that you're able to afford the travel, that you're fit and able enough to be able to walk, and that you've been lucky enough to have heard about the Camino and been sufficiently inspired to want to do it. For some it will always ever be a dream. I did it in Sept/Oct 2019 and had an absolutely fabulous time, all the way through to Finisterre. Here's hoping you have a similarly wonderful time.

BJ Santavy · Sep 6, 2022

I did! I’m here now and before I started I had overwhelming anxiety. I don’t usually get anxiety. I thought, “why the heck am I doing this? Who do I think I am?” Then I also had terrible fear that I wouldn’t start this or finish it. I’m now on day 5 and no regrets. I’m still trying to figure out why I’m here. But I have lots of time to think about it and figure it out. You may well regret this if you don’t do it. Buen Camino.

Antananarivo · Sep 6, 2022

Hi there,
I'm flying from Australia this Thursday 8 September and been feeling a little bit like you.
I'm sure we will be fine. There will be a lot moral support from other peregrinos.
Looking forward to meeting you on the way.
God bless!

Liam55 · Sep 6, 2022

Oh you are starting an amazing adventure!! Of course your head is giving you trouble. Just ignore it and follow your heart. Being on the Camino, meeting such wonderful people and staying in some exceptional albergues is the treat of a lifetime. You don't need to know why you are doing it; somewhere along the way you will feel the reason. Trust yourself. Wishing you a wonderful wonderful time.

bullingtonce · Sep 6, 2022

Believe it or not, this is excellent because it is an indication you are not undertaking this Camino superficialy. Take the plunge! You will come out of this stronger and will discover a depth to yourself you have not previously encountered. Move forward, one step at a time, both figuratively and literally. I wish I were in your shoes.

wells.kim.p · Sep 6, 2022

We are on the Camino Del Norte. We left Florida Monday morning Aug. 29. As I took a shower before leaving for the airport I was filled with misgivings. What are we doing? I don’t want to go!

But we are here in Spain walking and it is wonderful!

I have walked 2 other caminos and never had that feeling before. It took me by surprise.

Buen Camino!

sdhiker · Sep 6, 2022

It might help to frame it differently: you’re not embarking on a set adventure. You have control, it’s your Camino. If you’re too tired, you can rest a day; If your pack is too heavy, you can have it transported for you; If you don’t like a stage or are not feeling it, you can take a taxi to your next stop. And finally, if you decide it’s not for you, you can ultimately end it and go home (I guarantee that won’t happen

).
Whenever I panic, it always helps to look at my possible alternatives.
Also, as mentioned above, there are lots of bars!

You’re part of the Camino community now, you’ll find help and support whenever you need it. you’ll have a fabulous time!

Dennis Pack · Sep 6, 2022

"Fear of the unknown" is instilled in amerikans, and I guess Canadians, from an early age. It's all part of "the plan". Soon you will realise it's all a hoax and there's a whole lot of world out there to be explored and enjoyed ... and very little to fear ... respect, yes ... fear, not so much. The number of German girls travelling on their own is evidence enough for me. I've met them everywhere I've gone, and have loved (envied?) the stories they told ... and feel very cheated by my amerikan upbringing.
The Camino is the perfect place to start your journey of discovering the world ... your own capabilities. So well organised ... and safe ... only the first step is scary. Soon you'll be dreaming of your next "adventure". The Camino really does provide ... Buen camino
Let your story unfold

PrayerPose25 · Sep 6, 2022

I understand completely. No matter how well you think you've prepared, the "what if's" tend to occupy your last few days before you go.

I had to take 5 flights and a bus to get to SJPDP, and while I was on a layover between my 2nd and 3rd, my backpack on the floor in front of me, a woman in her late 80's asked me where I was going and what I was doing with the backpack. When I said that I was walking across Spain on a pilgrimage, she got a huge grin on her face and announced that she had walked the Camino 3 times already. She gave me some sage advice and it was then that all the fears and doubts receded. You'll have your moment too, where it all clicks and the last minute nerves still.

Buen Camino to you!

USMC-Pilgrim · Sep 6, 2022

Love your honesty and vulnerability. Remember, we have all been there and most of us had feelings from trepidation, anxiety, fear etc. Bottom line is these feelings are healthy. Suggestions for you:

- Review your planning cycle, are you comfortable with your plan. If not, adjust until you are solid. Review your plan every day until you sink into the comfort of the Way and let your feet determine the plan.
- Ask for help. Here or on the trail, you have 100s of new friends who want you to be successful.
-Loads of other great tips/ideas from our fellow pilgrims in response to your post.

You are living the dream, you will be awesome!

Jagdev D. · Sep 6, 2022

Elle532,
you are not alone for feeling like that, I did my Camino May/June ,my feet felt like lead, so many thoughts about the Camino I could not shake off, then I missed my flight from CDG to Biarritz 9.30 am ,got on 12.30pm flight and had that dreadful feelings, but after staying two days in SJPP walking around seeing and talking to other pilgrims and so much more my anxiety started to ease off .

Once you close to your starting point you will likely to feel better,. Then my worries were on the Pyrenees while I was climbing up, it was physically hard, and I’m 72, staying night at Borda helped.
Stay healthy and well, your worries, anxiety will go away,
try to enjoy all that you will see and go through,
wishing you the best,
Buen Camino Pilgrim .
Cheers !

trose · Sep 6, 2022

I start from Lisbon on September 15th and have been feeling the same way. I walked the Camino Primitivo last year with my cousin but this year I am starting out alone so I think a little anxiety is normal. I know this, that I will get on the plane next week and when I step off then I will start my journey. Last years Camino taught me that it is all about just taking the next step. I was told by a wise peregrino not to worry because “the Camino will provide for all I need” and she was correct.
Buen Camino!

Wandalina · Sep 6, 2022

What was it Gloria Gaynor said?

Snowflake5090 · Sep 6, 2022

No need to be afraid, embrace this adventure because it will be one you will never forget. I felt nervous on my first day (in May this year) and already I’m desperate to go back and do it all over again. Buen Camino

lt56ny · Sep 6, 2022

I bet virtually everyone has experienced the fear of the unknown before your first camino. I am getting ready for Camino 7 and even with 6,000 K under my feet I am still getting feelings of doubt before October 21st when I take my first step in Somport. It melts away before my 4th step. For a first time pilgrim with each step you take the fear will also begin to fade. A little slowly at first but then you will say “wow this is the best decision I ever made and boy do I have this.”

Vancouver Rose · Sep 6, 2022

Hi Elle, I'm also leaving tomorrow, and all that you've said resonates with me. I'll be starting a day later than you as I'll be overnighting in Bayonne for a, hopefully, decent sleep, before making my way to SJPdP on the 9th, and beginning my journey the next day. So filled with nerves/dread/doubt, but also hopefulness that it will all work out as it should, even if it's not exactly as I hope. I wish you the best and hope we both find what we were looking for when we first got this crazy idea into our heads.

Stivandrer · Sep 6, 2022

Thank God and your Lucky Star, your camino, any camino, does not take off like a train or a flight.
Nor is it impatient for you tyo do the right thing at once...
It is conveyor belt going one way and you step unto it and get off where and how long you want it.

You will meet some adventurous ones that are going the other way, but that is quite another story.

Only in your head, can you be late for anything. The Camino is there to welcome you when you are ready for the first one to ten steps....And then you are in the process...

Buen Camino

K_Lynn · Sep 6, 2022

BREATHE! You will be fine. We were all terrified or nervous before heading out. I think there needs to be a bit of trepidation prior to heading out on Camino (or any adventure). You will have an amazing time, most of which will be appreciated after you finish.

Simon B · Sep 6, 2022

I think a normal reaction but once you arrive at SJPP [assume you are starting there] you will get caught up in the excitement of the other pilgrims. But wherever you start the moment you start walking all will be well and the enjoyment starts.

Buen Camino

alicia arribas · Sep 6, 2022

I am feeling the same way Elle. I leave on the 9th for Sarria and also wondering....
But we are going to be fine and will be a wonderful experience.

Eamonrodden · Sep 6, 2022

Just walk, it’s the one of the best treatments for most things

AMS610 · Sep 6, 2022

Thank you for this post, Elle532! Feeling exactly the same, exactly. Will start walking on 9/15. Many deep breaths! Buen camino!

HolaKaren · Sep 7, 2022

By now I think you are on your plane, but I wanted to thank you for your post and for the fellow pilgrims who shared their comments.

I’ve been feeling the exact same way—even toyed with the idea of canceling!—but then I recalled this quote:

“Remember that the minute you take your first step into the life of your dreams, the first to greet you there will be fear. Nod. Keep walking.”

Buen Camino!

dbier · Sep 7, 2022

Elle,
In a word, yep.

In a few more words...

I was terrified as I began to march across the pad at my commissioning ceremony (20 good years).

I was terrified as I was about to walk down the aisle to get married. (35 good years in a few days).

I was terrified as I was wheeled into the operating room for son #1. (He's 33, married, with a job).

And I was terrified as my husband and I set out from Sarria last year (Spoiler: we made it, and I'm planning my second, and we're planning our 3rd).

Fear tells me when it's important. God helps me tell fear when to take a back seat.

Buen Camino.

AussieSunnygirl · Sep 7, 2022

Feeling some similar apprehensions as you @Elle532 as I draw closer to starting my first Camino in less than two weeks. I am trying to use the feelings of anxiety and turn them into excitement and reflect on similar posts I've read since joining this forum and the avalanche of support shown by its members. I'll be taking one step at a time and embracing every moment - one thing I'm certain of, is there will be many positive moments and a life time of memories to be had with a few curve balls thrown in there too. Have a wonderful Camino. Buen Camino!

VNwalking · Sep 7, 2022

To everyone who is anxious or terrified, don't forget: you do know how to walk. And it's just a long walk.
Nerves are normal; you may be surprised how quickly they settle once you start putting one foot in front of the other.

VNwalking · Sep 7, 2022

Being uncomfortable is just a temporary feeling. If you give in to it, you miss out on so much - and the more you give in to fear, the harder it is to break free if it. That's how the world gets smaller and smaller. If we'd stayed home from the camino after feeling spooked by the thought of doing it, those of us who now love the experience would have been deprived of it.

woody66 · Sep 7, 2022

It would solve the bed race; as the two dozen pilgrims a year who are not nervous or anxious will have loads of choice!!

Natale · Sep 7, 2022

Your feelings are natural and once you start walking your fears will leave you. And lead you to one of the best experiences of your life. One foot in front of the other. Buen Camino

Jackieduda · Sep 7, 2022

After a year of planning, i bought my plane ticket and had a panic attack! i have traveled the world and never had this experience. I called a friend. She gave me great advice and it worked: “ just breathe”.

Annabellesjourney · Sep 8, 2022

Buen Camino! I went alone in the spring and once I got there and started walking I was fine

Orujo · Sep 8, 2022

@Elle532 I hope you are now well on your way and having an amazing time. Please update us all with how it's going, and how you are feeling now you have taken the leap. Buen camino!

Anamya · Sep 8, 2022

Remember in school days when all you wanted was to play a role in the theatre play, then comes the day to perform and then you just feel frozen on the backstage?

It´s not a sign to give up. It is a normal reaction of your body realizing that you are about to do something new, and all your senses are alert to absorb every little bit of it, hence the overwhelming sensation.

As wisely said above, take deep breaths. Take one step at a time. You know how to walk, you can do it. Many of us were in similar situations, and we are all cheering for you.

Buen Camino!

LynnSciortino · Sep 8, 2022

I’m at the train station in Atocha now, waiting for train to Pamplona, and it’s all a little frightening. Wondering why I thought this was a good idea to do solo. Every step is getting a little easier though. Try not to overthink it. Buen Camino!

Salty · Sep 8, 2022

When self doubt sets in, just tell yourself, over and over , till you later firmly believe : This will be the best and memorable journey of your life. Buen Camino !

I too have these feelings from time to time. I bought myself a hitch hiker, a very small light weight cute stuffed moose animal, "Moosy" with big friendly eyes and horns. I tell myself I am not going to be alone. He is going to be my trusted well known companion on this solo adventure. I look at him often, when I start feeling anxious about this trip of a life time.

danielle aird · Sep 10, 2022

Most of us do! It is normal... Your fear will go as soon as you are in your first albergue. Believe me! Buen Camino.

USSusan · Sep 10, 2022

I felt the same way last year when I went through security at the airport. I thought…what am I doing?….going to a foreign country where I speak only a few words of the language….by myself! After completing the walk and meeting wonderful friends I went by the same security line when I arrived home and I thought….why was I so worried? Have a wonderful Camino!

valcamino.67 · Sep 10, 2022

valcamino.67 · Sep 10, 2022

We all feel that way, you will be okay….. xxx

Ginnymb · Sep 10, 2022

Love the idea of a made up mentor or guide with a yiu can do it spirit! Thanks that helps me too! I’m leaving on Monday the 12th and I’m feeling the same way as Elise! Took a precautionary COVID test and was already imagining what to do if it was positive. Nope ! Negative … so I am on my way!

JudyWanaWander · Sep 10, 2022

Meditation helps with fear under any circumstance. Also check you thoughts. If you dwell on all the "terrible" things that could happen, your feelings of fear will be out of control and just feed on itself. If you don't get that under control it could ruin your spiritual journey or maybe that is you journey. Be open and have faith.

David Fletcher · Sep 10, 2022

As others have noted, while you may be walking by yourself you are never alone...the Camino villages have been providing hospitality for over 1000 years and want you to have a deep and meaningful experience. If you're journaling/blogging you will delight yourself as you discover yourself. I walked in September/October 2015, and I had over-planned. All you really need is an open mind and heart, and your fears will fall away. And, just to make a point....have a few Euros in your pocket, and if you get somewhere and are tired, don't want to walk any more and the Alberge is 'completo' (full) just get a cab to the next village. It never happened to me, just sayin' Buen Camino. David in Nova Scotia

David61 · Sep 10, 2022

To paraphrase The Clash , Did she stay or did she go now?
Elle, please update us

wabana · Sep 10, 2022

I had a similar feeling on my first night in Pamplona before I got up and took the bus to France for the next morning arrived late after dark had difficulty finding a room finally found a room I can assure you it’ll all be fine relax …..the Camino provides… and did for me on the very first night before I got to France livealagom.life. Ultreia!

JudyWanaWander · Sep 10, 2022

Remember - life's tumbles can bring you to the most interesting of places.

Rushie · Sep 11, 2022

I had the very same feeling that was April, I start my second camino this year on Tuesday 13th September, guess what same feeling

Zordmot · Sep 11, 2022

You will discover your reason for walking the Camino as you are walking the Camino.

Old walker · Sep 11, 2022

With this outpouring of support and sage advice you know that you are not alone. And if some doubts and fears hitch a ride, as they often do, look forward to your stride settling into the rhythm of the day, and during those lovely meditative stretches, what a pilgrim might call an inner journey, unpack a fear or doubt for casual observation as the countryside slides by. Cheers to you.

Dessie2016 · Sep 11, 2022

Elle, we pray for your safe journey and that you will have pleasant encounters all along the way. Buen Camino! And may God light your paths each and every day. Trust in His providence and be filled with faith!

troyintheworld · Sep 13, 2022

Dread and even some loneliness. I've never been away from my kids this long.

This helps. I'm leaving for my Camino in two days. Glad I checked-in.

ellee22 · Sep 13, 2022

I’m leaving for my Camino tomorrow..nerves and butterfly’s kicking in already but in an excited way!! Tnx so much for all the great advice given..

Shona · Sep 13, 2022

ElleE, you are in for such a treat walking the Camino!
BUEN CAMINO!
Warmly
Shona

SirRon · Sep 13, 2022

I hope you have adjusted by now! Sorry. Just seeing your post. But I don't leave until late May and every once in awhile I catch myself saying "Am I really doing this? haha"

Elle532 · Sep 17, 2022

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the support and encouragement! Your replies meant a great deal. I’ll reply in more detail but I wanted to give a quick update. I’m now walking the Camino!! I’m currently in Viana on the way to Logroño. Things are going well. I won’t say it’s easy but it’s beautiful and I’m glad I made it.

Jagdev D. · Sep 18, 2022

you are tough Canuck Elle.. at times things will be tough on the camino , but it all get better in the end. Wishing you happy journey.
Buen Camino !

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