The Concept of Family: The Other Family

[CaminoDebrita]

I know that every family is different. For me, I've lost most of my "first" family--my mom 2011, my dad 2012, my brother 1979. Yep. He was 18. I was 19.

When I was married to the first spouse, things got complicated, and without belaboring the point (pun intended), I was unable to have children.

That means that for me, family is very, very important. I will do anything for a family member---and I have had to extend the "concept" of family to friends who I love.

Oddly, I am often a bit of a loner, and very comfortable in my own skin----and okay with being alone. But any time I am needed to help, give a ride, lend a twenty, whatever, I am there. It's not always reciprocated, but I don't care so much about that.

This year, I had planned on holding a family reunion for my mom's side. Typically five "core" aunts and uncles show up, and their offspring. Sadly, one uncle broke his hip. Another aunt is 85 and just can't do it. Another uncle is having health issues....and et cetera.

I just cancelled my family reunion. I feel pretty bad, and I'm not sure if I should have just kept it going....but I did post in my reunion group that there would be a BBQ, and anyone was welcome to attend. I expect to have my darling niece and nephew show up (I am grateful) and probably some friends---certainly some friends.

Kind of surprised at the depth of my emotion, and for the first time in a few years, cried a lot. Surprising to me.

You on the forum are kind of a surrogate family to me. Thanks for listening to me. If you were here, bet we'd be having an icy cold beer and you would listen. Or, we'd take a nice long walk.

Thanks.

 

[MTtoCamino]

I know that every family is different. For me, I've lost most of my "first" family--my mom 2011, my dad 2012, my brother 1979. Yep. He was 18. I was 19.

When I was married to the first spouse, things got complicated, and without belaboring the point (pun intended), I was unable to have children.

That means that for me, family is very, very important. I will do anything for a family member---and I have had to extend the "concept" of family to friends who I love.

Oddly, I am often a bit of a loner, and very comfortable in my own skin----and okay with being alone. But any time I am needed to help, give a ride, lend a twenty, whatever, I am there. It's not always reciprocated, but I don't care so much about that.

This year, I had planned on holding a family reunion for my mom's side. Typically five "core" aunts and uncles show up, and their offspring. Sadly, one uncle broke his hip. Another aunt is 85 and just can't do it. Another uncle is having health issues....and et cetera.

I just cancelled my family reunion. I feel pretty bad, and I'm not sure if I should have just kept it going....but I did post in my reunion group that there would be a BBQ, and anyone was welcome to attend. I expect to have my darling niece and nephew show up (I am grateful) and probably some friends---certainly some friends.

Kind of surprised at the depth of my emotion, and for the first time in a few years, cried a lot. Surprising to me.

You on the forum are kind of a surrogate family to me. Thanks for listening to me. If you were here, bet we'd be having an icy cold beer and you would listen. Or, we'd take a nice long walk.

Thanks.

Very honest topic to share, thanks for being a human.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Oh, I'm being very human today. I am not usually this human, to be honest.

 

[Icacos]

Oh @CaminoDebrita, I don't know what to say, except that my heart goes out to you. I am sure that with your generous humanness, your niece and nephew will show up at your BBQ as well as many, many others. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. ........ Actually, your sharing this is now nudging me towards feeling more connected with our Camino family. Aren't we all truly blessed. Positive thoughts, peace, light and love, and warm hugs .......all coming to you.

 

[MTtoCamino]

Oh, I'm being very human today. I am not usually this human, to be honest.

I think you have an amazing heart, you will be at home walking the Camino.

 

[William Garza]

I will walk with you ")

 

[C clearly]

I have no particular wise words to add, but thanks for the post and the insight into your life. I expect that you are particularly emotional now because of the big life change in retirement as well feeling "responsible" for the family reunion. It seems to me that a more casual family BBQ is totally adequate and appropriate, and serves the same purpose as an official reunion without burdening anyone.

I see you joining the "repeat offender" group on the camino, though!

 

[Kiwi-family]

Is that an invitation to a BBQ? I'd be there in a heartbeat, especially if you turn the sun on. We'll bring homemade bread and cheese.

 

[William Garza]

I'll bring a bottle of Grand Marnier i been saving
A couple of brandy snifters and a mexican blanket to sit on..,well listen to the clouds go by,nibble on some of kiwi familys cheeze and bread as we all sit between us and laugh the sad away

 

[wayfarer]

I'll bring the Jameson and smoked salmon.

 

[Pelegrin]

I think that pimentos de Padrón will combine well with BBQ, so I'll bring them.

 

[William Garza]

I'll bring the Jameson and smoked salmon.

I was told that unless I try the Laphroaig,ive not tasted any Uisci beatha

 

[wayfarer]

I was told that unless I try the Laphroaig,ive not tasted any Uisci beatha

I hadn't heard of it before now William, there are a lot of whiskeys on the market now that weren't there as I grew up. Standard Jameson is probably one of the best, if not the best Irish whiskeys around IMO.
Drink with no ice, at room temperature and just a little water to release the flavour.

 

[William Garza]

I hadn't heard of it before now William, there are a lot of whiskeys on the market now that weren't there as I grew up. Standard Jameson is probably one of the best, if not the best Irish whiskeys around IMO.
Drink with no ice, at room temperature and just a little water to release the flavour.

Alas...the Glenlivet was the last i drank..but..this weekend, I hope to raise a wee dram as my Friend would tell me of Jameson.and with a little soft water to help it along.
Ill raise the,Glass to you,Ill raise the glass to Debra and Kiwi..by the end ime sure ill be good and gently taken.
Jameson it is!

 

[SabsP]

Count me in for the belgian beers and chocolate!!

 

[CaminoDebrita]

bread, cheese, Irish whiskey, chocolate, Belgian brew! This is quite a spread! You all know how to pull a tear from my eye

 

[Former member 42123]

I hadn't heard of it before now William, there are a lot of whiskeys on the market now that weren't there as I grew up. Standard Jameson is probably one of the best, if not the best Irish whiskeys around IMO.
Drink with no ice, at room temperature and just a little water to release the flavour.

I never knew there was any other

 

[NualaOC]

bread, cheese, Irish whiskey, chocolate, Belgian brew! This is quite a spread! You all know how to pull a tear from my eye

Don't start the party without me, I've just mastered the art of baking a Tarta de Santiago!

 

[Albertagirl]

I love the imaginations of posters, and how you all can pick up on a new post and turn it into a communal story. I am looking forward to sharing my story, and my celebrations, with those of you who are there when I walk my first camino in the fall.

 

[Peter Fransiscus]

I know that every family is different. For me, I've lost most of my "first" family--my mom 2011, my dad 2012, my brother 1979. Yep. He was 18. I was 19.

When I was married to the first spouse, things got complicated, and without belaboring the point (pun intended), I was unable to have children.

That means that for me, family is very, very important. I will do anything for a family member---and I have had to extend the "concept" of family to friends who I love.

Oddly, I am often a bit of a loner, and very comfortable in my own skin----and okay with being alone. But any time I am needed to help, give a ride, lend a twenty, whatever, I am there. It's not always reciprocated, but I don't care so much about that.

This year, I had planned on holding a family reunion for my mom's side. Typically five "core" aunts and uncles show up, and their offspring. Sadly, one uncle broke his hip. Another aunt is 85 and just can't do it. Another uncle is having health issues....and et cetera.

I just cancelled my family reunion. I feel pretty bad, and I'm not sure if I should have just kept it going....but I did post in my reunion group that there would be a BBQ, and anyone was welcome to attend. I expect to have my darling niece and nephew show up (I am grateful) and probably some friends---certainly some friends.

Kind of surprised at the depth of my emotion, and for the first time in a few years, cried a lot. Surprising to me.

You on the forum are kind of a surrogate family to me. Thanks for listening to me. If you were here, bet we'd be having an icy cold beer and you would listen. Or, we'd take a nice long walk.

Thanks.

I will cal it being human. My wife had after here Camino Frances in 2013 problems. She lost here sister just a few months before here journey to Santiago. It took here about 5 months to get menthal and physical up order again. It was a hard time for here. But she is going back to the Camino next year. We walk together from Porto to Santiago. That will be great. I wish you well and a Buen Camino, Peter.

 

[Introibo]

Hey, not having much family myself, I don't want to miss out on this gathering.
I'll wrap 8 yards of cloth round my waist, don my Prince Charlie jacket and
bring a bottle of Lagavulin with me...... as long as you provide an ice pack in the
morning for my head

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Oh, it won't be a party without handsome gentlemen dressing up like royalty! Ice, advil, and some bloody mary's?

 

[Robo]

Still heading on your Camino in September? (as per your profile)

A lucky 'family' will be there waiting for you along the way

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Still heading on your Camino in September? (as per your profile)

A lucky 'family' will be there waiting for you along the way

I depart the USA in 81 days, on 28 September.

On 29 September, I land in Madrid, and fly to Pamplona at 4 PM.

Corazon Puro. Then on to SJPP on 30 September, where I will spend an awestruck night in SJPP.

The Camino begins 1 October, and my first evening will be at Orisson! From there, let the magic unfold!

 

[Cailin O Eire]

Hugs and happiness been sent your way.
I think it's possible to ship a keg of Guinness! What's a party without the black stuff!
Le Grá
Rita

 

[movinmaggie]

Debrita with your description, you remind me of me. I will begin from St. Jean 5/6 days before you. I'm solo, but it would be a total pleasure to walk with you for a while. Who knows, even though I'm a ways ahead of you, I do have a few years on you and it's not impossible that we could hook up. I'm doing the same route as you as well (Madrid, Corazon Puro, overnight St. Jean). If we don't hook up, at least put me down for wine and tapas, and perhaps you might visit my beautiful city of Victoria one day. In addition to your niece and nephew who we know adore you, you must also know that with this forum you are surrounded with family, support, wisdom, encouragement and good humour…..

 

[CaminoDebrita]

Debrita with your description, you remind me of me. I will begin from St. Jean 5/6 days before you. I'm solo, but it would be a total pleasure to walk with you for a while. Who knows, even though I'm a ways ahead of you, I do have a few years on you and it's not impossible that we could hook up. I'm doing the same route as you as well (Madrid, Corazon Puro, overnight St. Jean). If we don't hook up, at least put me down for wine and tapas, and perhaps you might visit my beautiful city of Victoria one day. In addition to your niece and nephew who we know adore you, you must also know that with this forum you are surrounded with family, support, wisdom, encouragement and good humour…..

Very nice, very nice! I just may have a few really long days to catch up with you and say hi---but I will also be watching out so I can catch Albertagirl, who will begin walking a day ahead of me, on 30 September (although we will have Corazon Puro together first!). Such great women. Such great times.

 

[movinmaggie]

How blessed we all are who have done, who are doing and who will walk this amazing journey. My heartfelt Buen Camino to you.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

@C clearly ---and you are heading out about mid October! I've looked at that a few times and wondered if the fates would bring us face to face! (that was kind of a tongue twister).

 

[JennyH94]

Hi Deb - put me down for a triple batch of our own dear pilgrim b's Yorkshire flapjacks and a cheeky Shiraz or two, or three, from Oz.
Happy, happy BBQ for your family reunion - 'wishing you a beautiful and very special day for your family gathering.
Take joy in every moment and in every step on your Camino -
Cheers - Jenny

 

[susanawee]

And I will bring along some Aussie sunshine, happiness and smiles. This Forum is such a wonderful Camino Family and Camino Support. I will also walk with you in spirit during October.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

And I will bring along some Aussie sunshine, happiness and smiles. This Forum is such a wonderful Camino Family and Camino Support. I will also walk with you in spirit during October.

Much love and friendship go out to you, @susanawee !