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The Not Serious thread, phase III, 2020

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
And deep in the woods were there any zombie gnomes? Just asking cuz some of those European fairy tales are pretty frightening.
Here we have a demented German nursery rhyme...yep, they all came from Europe.
BTW, I sucked my thumb until my 7th birthday...my decision and I stopped "cold turkey" on that day. Nothing my folks ever said made me stop. They once said my thumb would fall off cuz it had a big callous on it...TMI?
Screenshot_20201117-074026.png
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
I'm on a roll with "three in a row"...anyone ever see this movie? I never saw Johnny Depp look so handsome.
Screenshot_20201117-081427~2.png
 
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Turga

Camino tortuga
Camino(s) past & future
CF (Aug/Sep 2017)
CF (Aug/Sep 2018)
My mom used to read to us children from a book with Russian fairy tales. Man, was there blood & guts and horrible beasts devouring everybody all over the place. That, of course, was before the general concent that children had to be shielded from anything bad and sinister which might affect their fragile minds. If it affected me in anyway - well, then there is not much to do about it now 🤪
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
My mom used to read to us children from a book with Russian fairy tales. Man, was there blood & guts and horrible beasts devouring everybody all over the place. That, of course, was before the general concent that children had to be shielded from anything bad and sinister which might affect their fragile minds. If it affected me in anyway - well, then there is not much to do about it now 🤪
I think your mom didn't like you very much...kind'a like BB, who enjoyed terrifying his kids.
 
Camino(s) past & future
Us:Camino Frances, 2015 Me:Catalan/Aragonese, 2019
A politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"

"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??" says the politician. "Them's the rules" Says St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy dissapears... And awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he's in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds... Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can't be right?

"Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C'mon, wakey wakey, we've only got 24 hours!". Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he's in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite... And there's a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. "Who are you??" The politician asks. "Well, I'm Satan!" says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!" "Wait, this is Hell? But... Where's all the pain and suffering?" he asks. Satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we've been a bit mis-represented over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there's extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to look outside..." Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. "It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!" says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cherrily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear... And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep... And is woken up by St Peter. "So, that was Hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I bet?" "No sir!" says the man. "So then" says St Peter "you can make your choice. It's Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on". "Well... I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I'd prefer Hell" says the politician. "Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" Says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other. "What's this??" He cries. "Where's the hotel?? Where's my wife??? Where's the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???"

"Ah", says Satan. "You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted..."
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
That's not very nice, but then you are an imp - wonder how you came about to be one?
Turga, you should know I just jest!
My mom often called me a little imp cuz I was naughty...but I grew out of it on the day of my 50th birthday. 😂
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Rick, I'll have to save the book you wrote until a bit later as I'm too busy at the moment to devote the time it needs...which I estimate at "three full minutes".
 

Turga

Camino tortuga
Camino(s) past & future
CF (Aug/Sep 2017)
CF (Aug/Sep 2018)
Another man stands before the pearly gates and is gauged by Saint Peter who says, “I see you’re a politician and so, I am sorry to say, there’s only one way to go” and before the guy knows of it he is on a slide going downstairs very fast. The Devil greets him and says, “Well, well, well… a new customer, let me show you around so you can choose where you want to spend Eternity”. The man says, “Oh, are there options, I didn’t know that!” “Sure” says the Devil, “come along”. The Devil then shows the man the first department. There all the lost souls are standing bare-footed on glowing coal in great agony while smoking big cigars. “Not very tempting” the man thinks and the Devil shows him the next department. There everybody are being flogged with red-hot iron obviously being in great pain while smoking big cigars. “This is even worse” the man thinks, “I wonder what comes next”? Then he looks into the third department where the poor souls are standing in a big pool filled with stinking, thin shit with only their heads sticking out and smoking big cigars. Then the Devil says, “Well, now you have seen the services that we provide here, so which is your choice?” The man doesn’t need to think much about it. Although the third department isn’t very attractive, it is obviously the least horrible option, so he replies “I’ll go for the third department, thank you”. “Excellent choice!” says the Devil and so the man is stripped naked, placed into the stinking pool and handed a big cigar which the Devil politely lights for him. The man is standing there puffing on his cigar and thinking, that considering the alternatives he had made the better choice.

Then, after 10 minutes, the Devil sticks his head in through the door and yells “OK, the smoking break is over, everybody back into handstand!”.
 

Bristle boy

If not now...when? If not you...who?...........
Camino(s) past & future
2019
Just to show that humour can be found in the unusual places. Todays award goes to.....google.
When you google there is a query "Do you mean..." in the event you may have mis-spelt or to give you another option.
To show that someone has a sense of humour google "Alex Trebek" (the host of the American show Jeopardy) and the word "Anagram".
There is another one but I am not bright enough to understand it and it went above my head.
 
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Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
You boys are both over my head now...I'm even more confused.😵

Thanks, BB and Rick...found it! (Although I have no idea why BB chose to google those words together in the first place.) 🙄
 
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Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
Very funny tales of the world's best known golf cheater (fast golf carts are an asset). Click the arrow for an embedded view, the superimposed white title on top for YouTube.

Hilarious, Rick! I have watched 15 minutes so far, but will definately finish. I had never heard of Rick Reilly cuz my head is often in the sand, but I do know what golf is and who the prez is.
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
And who was it that inspired you to look this up? Charlie?
I've had that photo saved in my screenshot folder for a long time so don't remember...but I feel sorry for anyone named Charlie. I'm not telling you which ones I've been called in my lifetime...thankfully I can't remember.🤔
 

Peter Fransiscus

Be a Rainbow in someone else's cloud.
Camino(s) past & future
All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
I never knew there were sooo many synonyms for plain 'ol stupid. 🙄
View attachment 87972
We have only a few
dom (bn): bête, ezelachtig, geesteloos, hardleers, kortzichtig, onbenullig, onbezonnen, onnozel, onverstandig, onwetend, onzinnig, simpel, stom, stompzinnig, stupide, suf, uilig, verstandeloos. dom (bn): achterlijk, debiel, stom, sukkelig, zwakhoofdig.
😅😅
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
We have only a few
dom (bn): bête, ezelachtig, geesteloos, hardleers, kortzichtig, onbenullig, onbezonnen, onnozel, onverstandig, onwetend, onzinnig, simpel, stom, stompzinnig, stupide, suf, uilig, verstandeloos. dom (bn): achterlijk, debiel, stom, sukkelig, zwakhoofdig.
😅😅
Peter, what about dwaas?
 

Camino Chrissy

Take one step forward...then keep on walking..
Camino(s) past & future
Frances 2015;
Norte/Primitivo 2016;
Frances 2017;
Le Puy 2018;
Portuguese/FishermanTr. 2019
We have a lot of words because we have so many more types and have no trouble meeting people in any of the categories. Chris missed one -- boss.
All cats want to be in charge of their domain...even if lounging on top of a sign. 🐈
 

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