The Returned...

[Gary May]

With 3 weeks to go until I set off on my first Camino France, my mind is a mixture of excitement and wonder with a side helping of nerves. I've even started dreaming about walking the route - odd as I've never done it
Trying to focus on work is proving hard as I've been in "Holiday Mode" since booking my flights....with people constantly asking if im booking another 'holiday' every time I do a bit of research or planning.
I've been wondering today how I'll feel about life in general when I get back from the Camino Fance. I'll be away for 5 weeks, leaving everyone behind and taking a time out from my life by cutting all communication.
Last time I did this was in Peru 5 years ago and that journey steered me down a path of self improvement and life goal adjustment. The flip side was upon my return, I felt detached from the life I had before I left. I realised I had nothing in common with certain friends and was plodding through life with no purpose. Upon returning I had a friend cull and cleared out the negative people in my life. I started focussing on doing the things I enjoy and took up new hobbies & interests. I began working on my career and building myself a future.
I've read posts about how the Camino changes people and others who have retuned unphazed. So I guess im looking to understand the impact the Camino has when you intergrate back into every day life.

 

[Deleted member 3000]

You probably won't be surprised that it may be different for everyone. I know persons who quit their job; then returned to it after a while! Even different pilgrimages for the same person will result in different results. A camino can intensify the feeling that "no one understands me." On reflection you may find that it does not matter. No one ever completely understands someone else. Life is solitary within the head. The most we can hope for is communications with others that help ease the solitude, and a life of treating others as we want to be treated. Make the world a better place each day, and being understood becomes unimportant. Don't expect others to care about the discoveries and stresses of the pilgrimage. Even other pilgrims will be incomplete in their understanding of your shared experience. The experience is unique for everyone, though it is easy to slip into comfortable conversation with strangers when you have both walked one. High expectations for family, friends, and coworkers in their accommodation of your new perspective can lead to the same disappointments of expectations about a pilgrimage. Don't spoil a camino with expectations, and don't spoil your return with expectations!

 

[NualaOC]

Hi Gary, the Camino-countdown is a wonderful time, with all the excitement, wonder and nerves that you describe. Research and planning are very useful, but there are many things that we can't prepare for or anticipate. You've already identified one of the big 'unknowns' - how you'll feel when you return, and how (if at all) the Camino will affect your life back home. There's no easy answer to that one - it's all part of the adventure that will begin very soon when you take your first step!

From my own experience, I'd suggest that you don't try to figure this out too soon after you get home. It can take a while for the lessons or changes to sink in. For me, it has been a gradual process rather than a big life-changing event. Walking the Camino is now an important part of my life and I'm very grateful for that gift (and for cheap flights from Ireland and the UK!).

Wishing you a Buen Camino and a very memorable journey.

 

[movinmaggie]

As difficult as it may be, do try to leave expectations behind....let it all unfold. Wish you Buen Camino

 

[julia-t]

Hi Gary - I am a former Shropshire resident (I lived for 3 years on the lower slopes of Clee Hill, midway between Ludlow and Tenbury Wells), and now live a bit further south up on the edge of the Cotswold escarpment.

I've walked my Camino in stages - five over two years - and each time have felt differently on my return. It is impossible to anticipate just what you will feel. You may expect to feel one way, but it may turn out to be something else. I think being aware - as you are - that there will be a change of some sort makes any adjustment easier.

Wishing you a wonderful Camino. I hope you don't find it too hot over there! Please try to post how you are getting along (will you have a blog or instagram or facebook page?).

And if you ever feel like meeting up for a walk and camino-related chat sometime, then let me know. I absolutely loved Shropshire, it is an unknown gem in England's crown.

 

[Kieran Kenneally]

The Camino is like no other experience I know, it just seeps deep inside you. Nobody really understands what you are banging on about when you return home because its not something you can really tell somebody about because it's so unique to the individual. Words cant do justice to the feeling and so it gets lost in the ether.I brought a good buddy of mine on the Portuguese Camino with me earlier in June and it was like a light bulb moment for him when he finally realized what it was I was going on about for so long. Enjoy let it flow over you and breathe it in just let it happen. Buen Camino

 

[Nanc]

Despite a similar path or even shared experiences, NO ONE can predict what your post Camino experience will be. Not even you.
You enter this journey with your pre-formed ideas, your past, your life concerns. You carry the joys and pain and fears. And , if your experience is like mine, YOU may change during and after the Camino.

As others have said, expectations can lead to disappointments- Being open: that it will be what it will be, allows the twists and turns of the Camino (both physical , mental and emotional) to evolve. We can then experience what we hadn't expect because because our imaginations are too limited.

I may have set off with thoughts and questions but never tried to seek the answers. Those answers just rose up inside me as I walked. And the way I would keep the Camino after returning has been different than my fantasy- Being gentle with myself and letting that evolve has been a journey as well

 

[Gary May]

Hi Gary - I am a former Shropshire resident (I lived for 3 years on the lower slopes of Clee Hill, midway between Ludlow and Tenbury Wells), and now live a bit further south up on the edge of the Cotswold escarpment.
And if you ever feel like meeting up for a walk and camino-related chat sometime, then let me know. I absolutely loved Shropshire, it is an unknown gem in England's crown.

Hi Julia - I've not done Clee Hill yet....but it's on the list (along with many others!) It would be nice to meet up with a fellow Camino-er - my Mum is the only person I know who's completed it and she lives in Australia! I am in full agreeance about Shropshire - theres so many amazing walks and views to be discovered. I'm finding some really off the track ones that are so overgrown, you know nobody has walked them for a while.

 

[Gary May]

You enter this journey with your pre-formed ideas, your past, your life concerns. You carry the joys and pain and fears. And , if your experience is like mine, YOU may change during and after the Camino.
As others have said, expectations can lead to disappointments- Being open: that it will be what it will be, allows the twists and turns of the Camino (both physical , mental and emotional) to evolve. We can then experience what we hadn't expect because because our imaginations are too limited.

Very wise words Nanc. Being open is what im forcing myself to do. I'm a natural organiser and worrier, so putting myself in a situation where I will have no or little control over what happens is just what I need.

 

[VNwalking]

Hi, Gary, and buen camino!
Well...who knows how you'll feel? That post-camino you is far in the future and unimaginable.

Being open is what im forcing myself to do.

For some people letting go into the flow is liberating, while for others it's destabilizing and reinforces the need to control. Whether it's one or the other are based on the skillfulness and intention behind the letting go.
Because opening doesn't happen by force, but only when the heart feels safe.

So please take care. If you're consciously 'holding your feet to the fire,' and can stay balanced, that's great - all well and good. But do take care that it doesn't become endurance contest with yourself. The opening needs above all to be done from a foundation of kindness, taking into account your unique combination of habits and conditioning. Kindness (internally and externally) is so much about what the Camino is about.

You know yourself and your limits better than anyone. And you'll inevitably understand yourself even better after the Camino. Along the way, if you need to plan or take a few days break from free flow (if you've been hanging out on the edge of your tolerance level, for example) that's definitely not cheating or doing it wrong.

(Sorry to pontificate, not knowing you at all. But I've learned this lesson the hard way, and so feel moved to share unsolicited advice...)

 

[Gary May]

More wise words Viranani.
Something that amazes me since joining the forum is the wisdom and knowledge of the members. Not just in Camino related matters - but overall outlooks on life.
I hope to one day be in such a position to pass on similar advice and knowledge to future generations of pilgrims.