Tipping point

[Deleted member 36903]

Although this is posted under 'Miscellaneous Camino Frances topics' it is hoped that there will be responses from pilgrims who have walked any Camino route.

Sometime - often in fact - my thoughts revisit my journey from SJPdP to SdC and, perhaps prompted by @rappahannock_rev recent posts about having walked the Aragones and not seen many pilgrims en route but being confronted by crowds of them on arriving in Puenta La Reina. A long preamble to introduce the fact that Puenta La Reina was my tipping point. I had walked alone from SJPdP to Valcarlos. Next day I started out with a woman I had met at the albergue and we walked together until Puenta La Reina, arriving on Good Friday. The town was heaving with people because of it being the holiday weekend of Semana Santa. I spent some time visiting the churches there, being made especially welcome in Iglesia de San Pedro where the local women were preparing the pasos for the processions later that evening. But the throngs of people really unsettled me and I realised that whatever I expected walking the Camino to be, this wasn't it. I had an almost a panicky compulsion to leave the town and my travelling companion; to walk alone and in silence. So I returned to the albergue, packed my things, left a note of thanks to my pilgrim friend and left town as the sun was setting with nowhere to stay and not caring whether I slept under the stars. Immediately I started to feel better. I felt at ease, at home. I have written elsewhere about how I was given shelter that night by a good Samaritan, but the flight from Puenta La Reina was my tipping point where I 'got it', and realised that companionship was not something I could cope with at that time. Other people have drawn attention to the scene in the film The Way when Tom (Martin Sheen) falls in the river, almost drowns (a symbolic second baptism?), sleeps under the stars and from then on, seems to become more 'bedded down' to what the walk is for him.

I am interested in hearing if other folk walking the Camino ever got to a point where there had to be, or was, a separation of sorts, be it emotional, social, physical (or whatever), and where you recognised that you had to readjust your attitude to walking or your previous conception of what the Camino meant for you? I acknowledge that such 'tipping points' may be cumulative rather than a one stark epiphany, but would love to hear your thoughts.

 

[Dorpie]

This certainly happened for me last year, though the tipping point came with a higher number of people. I and a few others had formed a pretty happy camino family of five or six by Estella but as the days passed things snowballed to the point where we were a loose collection of maybe 25 by some point around Leon. For me that was just too many people and it became impossible to have the closeness I feel with a smaller group, on top of that my hearing isn't the best so conversations in large groups are troublesome. It was a tough decision but I eventually decided to plough on alone and put maybe 10kms between myself and the rest of the group.

I must admit it was a bit lonely at first, on my first camino I'd been part of a very tight group of four all the way from St Jean which provides a lot of comfort but deciding to approach things in a different way opened up new aspects of the camino experience to me, interactions might not have been so intense but the variety of acquaintances I made made up for that. In retrospect I'm very pleased I made the change, it had nothing to do with the people around me and everything to do with how I interact in groups.

 

[NualaOC]

Hi @SEB, thanks for sharing your experience. We had one of those moments on the CF in September 2016. We started walking from Burgos, but on reaching Carrion de los Condes, the crowds and the noise became just too much for us. Unsure of what we wanted to do, we went to a beautiful guitar recital in the church which really helped to calm our minds. The next morning, we made a rapid-fire decision to run away to the Primitivo! It was totally the right thing to do and I'm so glad that we followed our instincts. That tipping point led to one of our most special and memorable Caminos. I wrote about it in this thread.

Earlier that year, I had a similar moment not far from Puenta la Reina. After 5 gloriously peaceful days on the Camino del Baztán, the walk from Pamplona to Uterga was overwhelmingly busy. Although we were staying in a small albergue, I found the culture shock much more difficult than I expected. I also had way too much energy after such a short walk, so I walked on my own to Eunate (which of course was closed!) and sat there for about an hour. That really helped me to find some peace and to adjust my mindset. In the end, it wasn't a dramatic tipping point, but it felt like a big deal at the time. Had I not taken that little side-trip, I'd have been a very anti-social and grumpy pilgrim in the days that followed!

The more Caminos I walk, the more flexible my thinking has become. Although I enjoy planning, I've become much more willing to forget the plan and follow whatever seems right at the time. It's quite liberating to acknowledge that there's always a choice and that nothing needs to be set in stone.

 

[JamesGeier]

On my first Camino Frances at Fromista, I became very ill with lower-gastro-intestinal distress. No fever, but continual diarrhea. Because there was no fever, the doctor I saw in Fromista and the next day in Carrion de las Condes did not suspect a bacteria. I was very ill and was transported to a hospital in Palencia, about 40 km away. I was in a dark place mentally, thought my Camino was over, that I had failed, my body had failed, and I just wanted to get home and feel better.

The admitting doctor at the hospital ordered a very thorough set of tests, and in a half hour or so told me that I had two problems: (1) I was very dehydrated, (no surprise) and (2) I had a bacteria, and she said, "and we know this bacteria, it does not manifest with a fever, but responds very well to antibiotics." Still being an a dark place psychologically, I asked her if there was an airport or train station close by so I could start my journey back to California.

She responded while looking at her clipboard, "Aren't you walking the Camino de Santiago? ... All of these tests tell me you are very healthy. You have two small problems and we can take care of them. Your Camino is important. When you walk into the cathedral in Santiago, you will understand. We are going to help you get well so you can continue your pilgrimage." And then she repeated, "Your Camino is important."

I was moved to a room (number 1111) and then, one by one or two by two, the staff started coming in to wish me a Buen Camino, sometimes saying that they had walked the Camino or part of the Camino, and they wanted me to get well so I could continue. And then staff from other floors started coming up finding someone to translate and saying the same things. Pretty soon, as the hydration kicked in and the antibiotic started working, I starting thinking that it might be possible.

I was only in the hospital overnight, and was released early the next afternoon. I made my way to Sahagun, and started walking the next morning. When I arrived in Santiago de Compostela, it was magical. And I walked on to Finisterre, and that was magical also, being at the end of the earth.

The important point was the doctor telling me "Your Camino is important." And they did help me get well, and I was able to continue. I learned that day that it is not just in the culture of the people along the Camino path to support the pilgrims, it is in the culture of people in the region.

I am so very grateful for that whole Camino experience from Saint Jean Pied de Port to the hospital in Palencia to Santiago de Compostela to Finisterre. So very, very grateful.
Buen Camino,
--jim--

 

[Deleted member 67185]

Although this is posted under 'Miscellaneous Camino Frances topics' it is hoped that there will be responses from pilgrims who have walked any Camino route.

Sometime - often in fact - my thoughts revisit my journey from SJPdP to SdC and, perhaps prompted by @rappahannock_rev recent posts about having walked the Aragones and not seen many pilgrims en route but being confronted by crowds of them on arriving in Puenta La Reina. A long preamble to introduce the fact that Puenta La Reina was my tipping point. I had walked alone from SJPdP to Valcarlos. Next day I started out with a woman I had met at the albergue and we walked together until Puenta La Reina, arriving on Good Friday. The town was heaving with people because of it being the holiday weekend of Semana Santa. I spent some time visiting the churches there, being made especially welcome in Iglesia de San Pedro where the local women were preparing the pasos for the processions later that evening. But the throngs of people really unsettled me and I realised that whatever I expected walking the Camino to be, this wasn't it. I had an almost a panicky compulsion to leave the town and my travelling companion; to walk alone and in silence. So I returned to the albergue, packed my things, left a note of thanks to my pilgrim friend and left town as the sun was setting with nowhere to stay and not caring whether I slept under the stars. Immediately I started to feel better. I felt at ease, at home. I have written elsewhere about how I was given shelter that night by a good Samaritan, but the flight from Puenta La Reina was my tipping point where I 'got it', and realised that companionship was not something I could cope with at that time. Other people have drawn attention to the scene in the film The Way when Tom (Martin Sheen) falls in the river, almost drowns (a symbolic second baptism?), sleeps under the stars and from then on, seems to become more 'bedded down' to what the walk is for him.

I am interested in hearing if other folk walking the Camino ever got to a point where there had to be, or was, a separation of sorts, be it emotional, social, physical (or whatever), and where you recognised that you had to readjust your attitude to walking or your previous conception of what the Camino meant for you? I acknowledge that such 'tipping points' may be accumulative rather than a one stark epiphany, but would love to hear your thoughts.

I very much appreciate what you experienced; frequently during the backpacking season of spring, summer, and fall, I will almost be 'driven' by the civilized world's hubbub to grab my gear, which is always in standby mode, and drive to the nearest trailhead for a few days of 'recovery'. A time to sort myself out and put things into perspective.

Last year on Camino, I had a different sort of change in expectations. I had expected that when my son, Caleb, decided to accompany me that it would take away some of the alone time I had wanted in order to more fully focus on my spiritual and personal needs . Instead, and quite surprisingly, the opposite occurred. This is part of what I wrote as a journal entry while in Belorado:

".... an important aspect of the Camino has become the fellowship, helpfulness, and loving kindness of Caleb. I don't know when it happened, but what my Camino now means to me includes doing the Way with Caleb."

 

[Purky]

My tipping point or wake-up call when I reached Northern France was that 'hard times', like tough days, difficult or embarrassing situations or just a foul mood, were always closely linked with my assumptions and expectations, a strong wish to act accordingly and high levels of anxiety about failing. A little while after that idea I found that a lot of my expectations weren't actually my own. I recognised old teachers, my father, friends, quotes from favorite books and social or political statements. I had adopted a lot of dos and don'ts over the years, it appeared, and had accepted most of them on face value.

My first real clue that I was onto something came when most of the questions I had before my departure were slowly fading. Not that I had found answers to them, they just stopped being relevant or even interesting. Walking the camino was about walking the camino, and nothing else. I felt more carefree and found that making contact with others was becoming easier, a big deal for an introvert like me. I also stopped analysing those encounters afterwards to check I hadn't made an arse of myself, said something stupid or disrespectful or generally fell short. Which was usually the case in my mind before. And I really started feeling good about myself.

Of course I still had some expectations and assumptions. If you treat others with respect and interest, good things will happen. If you don't litter, try not to fart in public and think before you speak, you'll feel better about yourself. Stuff like that. But I managed to cut down on a lot of nonsense and secondhand 'wisdom' that didn't do anything for me. That gave me a lot of breathing space, and I wasn't afraid to use it anymore. So I bared my soul to a French hospitalier, walked past Roncesvalles because I just didn't like the crowds, walked with two English pilgrims for four days because we really hit it off, treated myself to a room in the Parador in Leon and much, much more. All impossible for me with my old grim set of rules, regulations and fear.

So these days I'm proud to act like an idiot sometimes, and not be embarrassed about it. Every now and then I snarl at my wife, and she usually doesn't even notice, nor does the sky fall on my head. And sometimes I snap back in my old ways a bit, but I don't beat myself up about it and gently move forward again. The camino tipped the scales. I'm a lot more human, and a lot less prisoner.

And thanks for this thread, @SEB. Posts like these are a breath of fresh air.

 

[Marbe2]

I started my first Camino with great enthusiasm in mid Sept. 2015. I had read several books and we prepared all summer walking up to 10 miles per day. We had lodgings and judged distances accordingly. However the crowds were overwhelming. We waited one Sunday morning for 45minutes on our way to Burgos to get a cup of coffee. Another time we just about had to push our way in to get to the bar as people kept cutting in front. It was crazy! Being slow walkers we got into one town that had a small grocery store and by that time there was almost nothing left on the shelves to purchase to eat. They did not even have water! Then I got 40+ bed bug bites in one night. We had initially planned to go to Santiago. Instead, the next morning, I got treated for the bedbugs, took a bus to Madrid and the same afternoon flew to Geneva Switzerland. We hiked in the alps. It was now off season and we walked for several weeks in the mountains. When I got home, I had no desire to ever return to any Camino! However, I began to look at this blog and discovered that many of you went at off times or different routes and had very different experiences. So in someway, all of you were the TIPPING POINT! Thanks!

 

[Former member 49149]

My tipping point or wake-up call when I reached Northern France was that 'hard times', like tough days, difficult or embarrassing situations or just a foul mood, were always closely linked with my assumptions and expectations, a strong wish to act accordingly and high levels of anxiety about failing. A little while after that idea I found that a lot of my expectations weren't actually my own. I recognised old teachers, my father, friends, quotes from favorite books and social or political statements. I had adopted a lot of dos and don'ts over the years, it appeared, and had accepted most of them on face value.

My first real clue that I was onto something came when most of the questions I had before my departure were slowly fading. Not that I had found answers to them, they just stopped being relevant or even interesting. Walking the camino was about walking the camino, and nothing else. I felt more carefree and found that making contact with others was becoming easier, a big deal for an introvert like me. I also stopped analysing those encounters afterwards to check I hadn't made an arse of myself, said something stupid or disrespectful or generally fell short. Which was usually the case in my mind before. And I really started feeling good about myself.

Of course I still had some expectations and assumptions. If you treat others with respect and interest, good things will happen. If you don't litter, try not to fart in public and think before you speak, you'll feel better about yourself. Stuff like that. But I managed to cut down on a lot of nonsense and secondhand 'wisdom' that didn't do anything for me. That gave me a lot of breathing space, and I wasn't afraid to use it anymore. So I bared my soul to a French hospitalier, walked past Roncesvalles because I just didn't like the crowds, walked with two English pilgrims for four days because we really hit it off, treated myself to a room in the Parador in Leon and much, much more. All impossible for me with my old grim set of rules, regulations and fear.

So these days I'm proud to act like an idiot sometimes, and not be embarrassed about it. Every now and then I snarl at my wife, and she usually doesn't even notice, nor does the sky fall on my head. And sometimes I snap back in my old ways a bit, but I don't beat myself up about it and gently move forward again. The camino tipped the scales. I'm a lot more human, and a lot less prisoner.

And thanks for this thread, @SEB. Posts like these are a breath of fresh air.

100 likes, to you, Purky, and SEB, and the others above. THANKS

 

[flywoman]

My tipping point or wake-up call when I reached Northern France was that 'hard times', like tough days, difficult or embarrassing situations or just a foul mood, were always closely linked with my assumptions and expectations, a strong wish to act accordingly and high levels of anxiety about failing. A little while after that idea I found that a lot of my expectations weren't actually my own. I recognised old teachers, my father, friends, quotes from favorite books and social or political statements. I had adopted a lot of dos and don'ts over the years, it appeared, and had accepted most of them on face value.

My first real clue that I was onto something came when most of the questions I had before my departure were slowly fading. Not that I had found answers to them, they just stopped being relevant or even interesting. Walking the camino was about walking the camino, and nothing else. I felt more carefree and found that making contact with others was becoming easier, a big deal for an introvert like me. I also stopped analysing those encounters afterwards to check I hadn't made an arse of myself, said something stupid or disrespectful or generally fell short. Which was usually the case in my mind before. And I really started feeling good about myself.

Of course I still had some expectations and assumptions. If you treat others with respect and interest, good things will happen. If you don't litter, try not to fart in public and think before you speak, you'll feel better about yourself. Stuff like that. But I managed to cut down on a lot of nonsense and secondhand 'wisdom' that didn't do anything for me. That gave me a lot of breathing space, and I wasn't afraid to use it anymore. So I bared my soul to a French hospitalier, walked past Roncesvalles because I just didn't like the crowds, walked with two English pilgrims for four days because we really hit it off, treated myself to a room in the Parador in Leon and much, much more. All impossible for me with my old grim set of rules, regulations and fear.

So these days I'm proud to act like an idiot sometimes, and not be embarrassed about it. Every now and then I snarl at my wife, and she usually doesn't even notice, nor does the sky fall on my head. And sometimes I snap back in my old ways a bit, but I don't beat myself up about it and gently move forward again. The camino tipped the scales. I'm a lot more human, and a lot less prisoner.

And thanks for this thread, @SEB. Posts like these are a breath of fresh air.

Thanks so very much for placing your soul on paper for me to read

 

[Aysen Mustafa]

Hi @SEB, thanks for sharing your experience. We had one of those moments on the CF in September 2016. We started walking from Burgos, but on reaching Carrion de los Condes, the crowds and the noise became just too much for us. Unsure of what we wanted to do, we went to a beautiful guitar recital in the church which really helped to calm our minds. The next morning, we made a rapid-fire decision to run away to the Primitivo! It was totally the right thing to do and I'm so glad that we followed our instincts. That tipping point led to one of our most special and memorable Caminos. I wrote about it in this thread.

Earlier that year, I had a similar moment not far from Puenta la Reina. After 5 gloriously peaceful days on the Camino del Baztán, the walk from Pamplona to Uterga was overwhelmingly busy. Although we were staying in a small albergue, I found the culture shock much more difficult than I expected. I also had way too much energy after such a short walk, so I walked on my own to Eunate (which of course was closed!) and sat there for about an hour. That really helped me to find some peace and to adjust my mindset. In the end, it wasn't a dramatic tipping point, but it felt like a big deal at the time. Had I not taken that little side-trip, I'd have been a very anti-social and grumpy pilgrim in the days that followed!

The more Caminos I walk, the more flexible my thinking has become. Although I enjoy planning, I've become much more willing to forget the plan and follow whatever seems right at the time. It's quite liberating to acknowledge that there's always a choice and that nothing needs to be set in stone.

I got to visit Eunates when it was open. It had a wonderful ambience inside.

 

[Northern Laurie]

I feel like there were so many tipping points-including at Monte de Gozo. You might say I was a late bloomer!

One of the tipping points had to do with why I was walking. I had planned to be able to say good bye to my mother. To let go, 5 years after she’d died. Instead on a tough day, where I was feeling rotten physically I wondered what my Mom and her mom -my Granny- would say to me. The answer “you started this, you’d better finish it”. It was absolutely true. I could hear the two of them, see their wry smiles and knew that was the real encouragement I needed. I started laughing.

The moment on Monte de Gozo I asked myself why “I hadn’t done the Camino right”. I was too slow, too whiny, I took the bus three times! Then I got mad at myself-why on earth did I think what I did was not enough? Why did I not love myself enough? And then I remembered all the love and kindness I showed myself along the way. The time I took to look after myself. To pay attention to my body. Things I never do in the day to day. Amongst the many epiphanies I was having (did I mention late Camino bloomer?) one was that in caring for myself, it was a continuation of my mother’s love for me. I was not going to say goodbye-no need to. She lives very much with me every day. I grew closer to her.

Several people mentioned leaving expectations behind. I try not to have expectations, in fact I think I live in denial trying to pretend I don’t have them. Perhaps my post Camino epiphany is that I always have expectations and I might as well be honest about it so I can get over them faster.

 

[LGLG]

This is a very inspiring thread. Thank you to all contributors for sharing these personal stories. It also restores my faith a bit in the fact that people are still searching for meaning and purpose on the Camino, not just a hiking holiday on their bucket list. My gratitude to you.

 

[lt56ny]

I very much appreciate what you experienced; frequently during the backpacking season of spring, summer, and fall, I will almost be 'driven' by the civilized world's hubbub to grab my gear, which is always in standby mode, and drive to the nearest trailhead for a few days of 'recovery'. A time to sort myself out and put things into perspective.

Last year on Camino, I had a different sort of change in expectations. I had expected that when my son, Caleb, decided to accompany me that it would take away some of the alone time I had wanted in order to more fully focus on my spiritual and personal needs . Instead, and quite surprisingly, the opposite occurred. This is part of what I wrote as a journal entry while in Belorado:

".... an important aspect of the Camino has become the fellowship, helpfulness, and loving kindness of Caleb. I don't know when it happened, but what my Camino now means to me includes doing the Way with Caleb."

I am not suprised by your experience. I have never met a parent who hasn’t had a similar reaction. I too like to walk alone. My daughters promise they will walk one day with me. I know they will but there are few days that go by when ai don’t imagine one of them next to me walking or in the bed above sleeping. Could there be a better gift. You are one lucky pilgrim.

 

[Paladina]

Many pilgrims will recognize SEB’s ‘panicky compulsion’ to get out when the going was bad, but it’s a great deal easier - and certainly less hurtful - to separate from a companion with whom there was only an informal or even unspoken agreement to walk together. I would find much more difficult to separate from someone with whom I had planned the journey, which is one reason why I normally go it alone. Has anyone’s partnership or long-term friendship managed to survive a parting of the ways?

 

[Dancing Rain]

One of my key tipping points was in Estella. I had always planned to do “the Camino” by myself - and then my beloved decided to join me. This created a very different camino to my expectatations. We had many passionate “engagements” as we figured out how to walk together.

In Estella my beloved just sobbed, thinking we or he should just end it and go home. After soul searching and reflection I suggested we “take it a week at a time and then review”. Which is what we proceeded to do....

Walking together tested us deeply, and hanging in brought us together so profoundly. I think walking a camino as a couple for the first time can be a deeply challenging process. However, persisting and sharing this time healed, strengthened, softened and brought us a depth of wisdom and understanding we continue to draw on .... but we did have to walk some stony ground to get there!!!

Three years later we walk together in great peace, and have much respect for other couples who also do it together. It’s a different dynamic to being by oneself, and one that does much to teach how to be companions together in the camino of life.

As an aside we did enjoy being with other couples in the “matrimonial room” at Sta Maria de Cabajal in Leon

 

[MaryLynn]

My tipping point - or the moment I 'got it' - came at the end of my first day of walking on my first Camino in spring 2011. I had wanted to walk the Camino for several years but thought it was too dangerous to walk alone - I would get lost, fall off a cliff, be too lonely and scared. I had done a lot of cycling on my own, but I had never walked long distances alone. Then a friend asked if I wanted to walk the Camino with her!
We started in Leon (Pyrenees too dangerous! Meseta too boring!), and after a couple days in the beautiful city, we took a bus (as recommended in a guidebook) to Virgin del Camino and began walking...and walking...through a scrubby landscape toward Villar de Mazarife. I was quite disappointed because I was not feeling the 'Camino magic' that I had read about...we were just...walking. Nothing magical about it - kind of boring.
However, the Camino began to work its magic in the beautiful courtyard at Tio Pepe's where we met a Dane, an American/Israeli, a British couple, and 2 Irish nurses - lots of talk and laughter ensued, and continued at dinner.
In the morning, I felt so different!
The Camino had begun to work its Magic in Tio Pepe's courtyard and it had continued full force throughout the evening with our new Camino friends. I realized the Camino is all about expectations (too high or too low) and making connections with people. When I returned in the fall, I realized it's also about connecting with the landscape and connecting with myself on the challenging parts of the Camino (Pyrenees & meseta Fall 2011).
That afternoon and evening at Tio Pepe's was the tipping point for me in beginning to understand what the Camino is all about.
[Note: That 'scrubby stretch of landscape' after Virgin del Camino has become the most significant part of the Camino Frances for me, as I have had a few weird (and wonderful) experiences--revelations, visions, visitations?--while walking alone there in different years. It is 'magical'!]

 

[Dancing Rain]

I think the key was letting go into what it was and letting go of my dream about what it would be

 

[lt56ny]

Although this is posted under 'Miscellaneous Camino Frances topics' it is hoped that there will be responses from pilgrims who have walked any Camino route.

Sometime - often in fact - my thoughts revisit my journey from SJPdP to SdC and, perhaps prompted by @rappahannock_rev recent posts about having walked the Aragones and not seen many pilgrims en route but being confronted by crowds of them on arriving in Puenta La Reina. A long preamble to introduce the fact that Puenta La Reina was my tipping point. I had walked alone from SJPdP to Valcarlos. Next day I started out with a woman I had met at the albergue and we walked together until Puenta La Reina, arriving on Good Friday. The town was heaving with people because of it being the holiday weekend of Semana Santa. I spent some time visiting the churches there, being made especially welcome in Iglesia de San Pedro where the local women were preparing the pasos for the processions later that evening. But the throngs of people really unsettled me and I realised that whatever I expected walking the Camino to be, this wasn't it. I had an almost a panicky compulsion to leave the town and my travelling companion; to walk alone and in silence. So I returned to the albergue, packed my things, left a note of thanks to my pilgrim friend and left town as the sun was setting with nowhere to stay and not caring whether I slept under the stars. Immediately I started to feel better. I felt at ease, at home. I have written elsewhere about how I was given shelter that night by a good Samaritan, but the flight from Puenta La Reina was my tipping point where I 'got it', and realised that companionship was not something I could cope with at that time. Other people have drawn attention to the scene in the film The Way when Tom (Martin Sheen) falls in the river, almost drowns (a symbolic second baptism?), sleeps under the stars and from then on, seems to become more 'bedded down' to what the walk is for him.

I am interested in hearing if other folk walking the Camino ever got to a point where there had to be, or was, a separation of sorts, be it emotional, social, physical (or whatever), and where you recognised that you had to readjust your attitude to walking or your previous conception of what the Camino meant for you? I acknowledge that such 'tipping points' may be accumulative rather than a one stark epiphany, but would love to hear your thoughts.

I have a second comment about your post and my tipping point. There wasn’t one big one for me but a lot of smaller ones. My first Camino was magical of course on the Camino Francis. It was, I think just as the CF was getting crowded. I met amazing people and loot walked with probably 15 people almost the whole Camino. But I was never in a “family”. And neither were any of them. Some were walking with a best friend, partner or child. But I always started every day alone along the way I would see a few friends meet for lunch or run into each other in Albergues. Some I saw almost every day and others much less often. It was great, made great connections and memories but had plenty of time for myself and to meet other pilgrims for those wonderful brief pilgrim encounters. The second time I walked Le Puy to Santiago with a friend I met the first time. We walked alone most of the day and usually met in Gites at night and it was great. Sometimes we didn’t see each other for 3 or 4 days. When I got on CF it was lots more crowded and lots more families. That’s great for many people but for me I felt like that was definitely not for me.
It seems like some families I met barely went to the bathroom without each other!!!!! Hahaha it also seemed that with some of course not all conversations were more superficial. It also seemed I would meet people at different times who had injuries that they obviously needed to rest and see a doctor but would not for fear of losing their Camino family. I used to tell them believe me if you rest here a day or two you will meet new people who are wonderful and unique and may be a person who really hears you and will help you facilitate what you need from the Camino and not what you think you want. I don’t walk with headphones and maybe it was the amount of people but as I walked and passed people I found myself hearing more and more mundane and trivial conversation.
It’s nit that we all don’t do this but I think the volume of people made it more frequent. From Sarria it was a madhouse to me. But it did give me what I needed. The importantanxe of solitude and silence and less brain activity and thought and more movement, hearing the crunch of my runners on the earth, and feeling my body and my breath only. Last year I entered Santiago for the 3rd time last October and it was packed with tourists. I had to wait a long time to get into the Cathedral. While I was waiting among a large tour group I heard a woman ask the tour leader why there were so many dirty and smelly looking people with backpacks? She looked at me embarrassed and I smiled and winked to let her know I thought it was ok. I didn’t have a pack and had just washed my smelly clothes. She explained about the Camino to the lady and what all those smelly people were doing.
This year i will start in Irún and walk the Norte. I will walk through the big cities when possible and if Santiago is again a zoo leave it quickly and go to Muxia. I sure hope I can spend a day or two in santiago to see the new friends one more time.
The lifelong friends we may never see again that will always be in our hearts.
Everyone walks their own way.

 

[Becky 59]

I walked the last 120 km this May on the Frances, accompanied by my wonderful supportive husband, following a near-fatal car accident 2 years ago. My hubby was glued to my side, making sure I was OK. But I experienced a "thin space" one day, lasting several minutes, but which was interrupted when my hubby spoke aloud. The next day I wanted to walk alone, and experienced another "thin space'. How odd that the presence of just one person can interrupt meaningful experiences, never mind crowds.

 

[tomnorth]

On my first Camino Frances at Fromista, I became very ill with lower-gastro-intestinal distress. No fever, but continual diarrhea. Because there was no fever, the doctor I saw in Fromista and the next day in Carrion de las Condes did not suspect a bacteria. I was very ill and was transported to a hospital in Palencia, about 40 km away. I was in a dark place mentally, thought my Camino was over, that I had failed, my body had failed, and I just wanted to get home and feel better.

The admitting doctor at the hospital ordered a very thorough set of tests, and in a half hour or so told me that I had two problems: (1) I was very dehydrated, (no surprise) and (2) I had a bacteria, and she said, "and we know this bacteria, it does not manifest with a fever, but responds very well to antibiotics." Still being an a dark place psychologically, I asked her if there was an airport or train station close by so I could start my journey back to California.

She responded while looking at her clipboard, "Aren't you walking the Camino de Santiago? ... All of these tests tell me you are very healthy. You have two small problems and we can take care of them. Your Camino is important. When you walk into the cathedral in Santiago, you will understand. We are going to help you get well so you can continue your pilgrimage." And then she repeated, "Your Camino is important."

I was moved to a room (number 1111) and then, one by one or two by two, the staff started coming in to wish me a Buen Camino, sometimes saying that they had walked the Camino or part of the Camino, and they wanted me to get well so I could continue. And then staff from other floors started coming up finding someone to translate and saying the same things. Pretty soon, as the hydration kicked in and the antibiotic started working, I starting thinking that it might be possible.

I was only in the hospital overnight, and was released early the next afternoon. I made my way to Sahagun, and started walking the next morning. When I arrived in Santiago de Compostela, it was magical. And I walked on to Finisterre, and that was magical also, being at the end of the earth.

The important point was the doctor telling me "Your Camino is important." And they did help me get well, and I was able to continue. I learned that day that it is not just in the culture of the people along the Camino path to support the pilgrims, it is in the culture of people in the region.

I am so very grateful for that whole Camino experience from Saint Jean Pied de Port to the hospital in Palencia to Santiago de Compostela to Finisterre. So very, very grateful.
Buen Camino,
--jim--

What a terrific story! Thanks for sharing.

 

[David Tallan]

Although this is posted under 'Miscellaneous Camino Frances topics' it is hoped that there will be responses from pilgrims who have walked any Camino route.

There is, actually, a forum for those who want responses from pilgrims who have walked any route. You can find it under "Pilgrim Topics Related to All Routes" > "Miscellaneous Topics".

 

[Deleted member 36903]

There is, actually, a forum for those who want responses from pilgrims who have walked any route. You can find it under "Pilgrim Topics Related to All Routes" > "Miscellaneous Topics".

Thank you @David Tallan but I think it is now too late to change the thread's location - need to become more knowledgeable about the finer points of the forum's functions and options.

 

[David Tallan]

Thank you @David Tallan but I think it is now too late to change the thread's location - need to become more knowledgeable about the finer points of the forum's functions and options.

I agree about it being too late to change. I just thought I'd let you know about the option in case you wanted to reach a wider audience in a future post.

 

[Felicia V]

On my first Camino Frances at Fromista, I became very ill with lower-gastro-intestinal distress. No fever, but continual diarrhea. Because there was no fever, the doctor I saw in Fromista and the next day in Carrion de las Condes did not suspect a bacteria. I was very ill and was transported to a hospital in Palencia, about 40 km away. I was in a dark place mentally, thought my Camino was over, that I had failed, my body had failed, and I just wanted to get home and feel better.

The admitting doctor at the hospital ordered a very thorough set of tests, and in a half hour or so told me that I had two problems: (1) I was very dehydrated, (no surprise) and (2) I had a bacteria, and she said, "and we know this bacteria, it does not manifest with a fever, but responds very well to antibiotics." Still being an a dark place psychologically, I asked her if there was an airport or train station close by so I could start my journey back to California.

She responded while looking at her clipboard, "Aren't you walking the Camino de Santiago? ... All of these tests tell me you are very healthy. You have two small problems and we can take care of them. Your Camino is important. When you walk into the cathedral in Santiago, you will understand. We are going to help you get well so you can continue your pilgrimage." And then she repeated, "Your Camino is important."

I was moved to a room (number 1111) and then, one by one or two by two, the staff started coming in to wish me a Buen Camino, sometimes saying that they had walked the Camino or part of the Camino, and they wanted me to get well so I could continue. And then staff from other floors started coming up finding someone to translate and saying the same things. Pretty soon, as the hydration kicked in and the antibiotic started working, I starting thinking that it might be possible.

I was only in the hospital overnight, and was released early the next afternoon. I made my way to Sahagun, and started walking the next morning. When I arrived in Santiago de Compostela, it was magical. And I walked on to Finisterre, and that was magical also, being at the end of the earth.

The important point was the doctor telling me "Your Camino is important." And they did help me get well, and I was able to continue. I learned that day that it is not just in the culture of the people along the Camino path to support the pilgrims, it is in the culture of people in the region.

I am so very grateful for that whole Camino experience from Saint Jean Pied de Port to the hospital in Palencia to Santiago de Compostela to Finisterre. So very, very grateful.
Buen Camino,
--jim--

Wow.

 

[walkingstu]

My tipping point or wake-up call when I reached Northern France was that 'hard times', like tough days, difficult or embarrassing situations or just a foul mood, were always closely linked with my assumptions and expectations, a strong wish to act accordingly and high levels of anxiety about failing. A little while after that idea I found that a lot of my expectations weren't actually my own. I recognised old teachers, my father, friends, quotes from favorite books and social or political statements. I had adopted a lot of dos and don'ts over the years, it appeared, and had accepted most of them on face value.

My first real clue that I was onto something came when most of the questions I had before my departure were slowly fading. Not that I had found answers to them, they just stopped being relevant or even interesting. Walking the camino was about walking the camino, and nothing else. I felt more carefree and found that making contact with others was becoming easier, a big deal for an introvert like me. I also stopped analysing those encounters afterwards to check I hadn't made an arse of myself, said something stupid or disrespectful or generally fell short. Which was usually the case in my mind before. And I really started feeling good about myself.

Of course I still had some expectations and assumptions. If you treat others with respect and interest, good things will happen. If you don't litter, try not to fart in public and think before you speak, you'll feel better about yourself. Stuff like that. But I managed to cut down on a lot of nonsense and secondhand 'wisdom' that didn't do anything for me. That gave me a lot of breathing space, and I wasn't afraid to use it anymore. So I bared my soul to a French hospitalier, walked past Roncesvalles because I just didn't like the crowds, walked with two English pilgrims for four days because we really hit it off, treated myself to a room in the Parador in Leon and much, much more. All impossible for me with my old grim set of rules, regulations and fear.

So these days I'm proud to act like an idiot sometimes, and not be embarrassed about it. Every now and then I snarl at my wife, and she usually doesn't even notice, nor does the sky fall on my head. And sometimes I snap back in my old ways a bit, but I don't beat myself up about it and gently move forward again. The camino tipped the scales. I'm a lot more human, and a lot less prisoner.

And thanks for this thread, @SEB. Posts like these are a breath of fresh air.

Purky,, " Don't look back, unless you intend to go there."

 

[Carmen Yates]

I walked the last 120 km this May on the Frances, accompanied by my wonderful supportive husband, following a near-fatal car accident 2 years ago. My hubby was glued to my side, making sure I was OK. But I experienced a "thin space" one day, lasting several minutes, but which was interrupted when my hubby spoke aloud. The next day I wanted to walk alone, and experienced another "thin space'. How odd that the presence of just one person can interrupt meaningful experiences, never mind crowds.

My daughter walked the Camino 2 years ago and was keen for my partner and I to walk it and become part of the Camino family. I remember her saying "mum try and walk a portion on your own as it is a different experience". This was the first time I realised that my partner knew me so well as he would walk with me and not say a word if he thought I needed silence, he did not ask what was wrong if I was dealing with sadness and let me cry openly or he would give me space and let me walk alone while he chatted with other pilgrims but always keeping me in sight. The Camino's magic is that it allows everyone to have room to deal with whatever comes up and a lot of pilgrims asked me, "do you want company" I would thank them and most were not offended if I said I would like to walk alone for awhile, it's your Camino, you choose your experience. I had 670klms to leave issues behind and did feel a light lighter in the heart reaching Santiago. Enjoy.

 

[Kathryn1966]

I remember my first day walking the Camino last May crawling into a ball laying on the park bench outside the Munciple albergue in Zugbri thinking I just want to go home and what was I thinking when a lovely Irishman got me some water and a lady called carol was waiting for her backpack I did not know Carol and I was all by myself I just asked Carol where she was staying and told her that I will follow her to her accommodation. The Camino taught me to trust and that it is all right to ask for help and that while you might start alone you are never alone and their is no judgement and out of this experience I have made lifelong friends

 

[Cheryl M]

On my first Camino Frances at Fromista, I became very ill with lower-gastro-intestinal distress. No fever, but continual diarrhea. Because there was no fever, the doctor I saw in Fromista and the next day in Carrion de las Condes did not suspect a bacteria. I was very ill and was transported to a hospital in Palencia, about 40 km away. I was in a dark place mentally, thought my Camino was over, that I had failed, my body had failed, and I just wanted to get home and feel better.

The admitting doctor at the hospital ordered a very thorough set of tests, and in a half hour or so told me that I had two problems: (1) I was very dehydrated, (no surprise) and (2) I had a bacteria, and she said, "and we know this bacteria, it does not manifest with a fever, but responds very well to antibiotics." Still being an a dark place psychologically, I asked her if there was an airport or train station close by so I could start my journey back to California.

She responded while looking at her clipboard, "Aren't you walking the Camino de Santiago? ... All of these tests tell me you are very healthy. You have two small problems and we can take care of them. Your Camino is important. When you walk into the cathedral in Santiago, you will understand. We are going to help you get well so you can continue your pilgrimage." And then she repeated, "Your Camino is important."

I was moved to a room (number 1111) and then, one by one or two by two, the staff started coming in to wish me a Buen Camino, sometimes saying that they had walked the Camino or part of the Camino, and they wanted me to get well so I could continue. And then staff from other floors started coming up finding someone to translate and saying the same things. Pretty soon, as the hydration kicked in and the antibiotic started working, I starting thinking that it might be possible.

I was only in the hospital overnight, and was released early the next afternoon. I made my way to Sahagun, and started walking the next morning. When I arrived in Santiago de Compostela, it was magical. And I walked on to Finisterre, and that was magical also, being at the end of the earth.

The important point was the doctor telling me "Your Camino is important." And they did help me get well, and I was able to continue. I learned that day that it is not just in the culture of the people along the Camino path to support the pilgrims, it is in the culture of people in the region.

I am so very grateful for that whole Camino experience from Saint Jean Pied de Port to the hospital in Palencia to Santiago de Compostela to Finisterre. So very, very grateful.
Buen Camino,
--jim--

Thank you for sharing this story. Questions: do you know how you were exposed to the bacteria and do you have suggestions on how to avoid such a situation?

 

[MichelleElynHogan]

Although this is posted under 'Miscellaneous Camino Frances topics' it is hoped that there will be responses from pilgrims who have walked any Camino route.

Sometime - often in fact - my thoughts revisit my journey from SJPdP to SdC and, perhaps prompted by @rappahannock_rev recent posts about having walked the Aragones and not seen many pilgrims en route but being confronted by crowds of them on arriving in Puenta La Reina. A long preamble to introduce the fact that Puenta La Reina was my tipping point. I had walked alone from SJPdP to Valcarlos. Next day I started out with a woman I had met at the albergue and we walked together until Puenta La Reina, arriving on Good Friday. The town was heaving with people because of it being the holiday weekend of Semana Santa. I spent some time visiting the churches there, being made especially welcome in Iglesia de San Pedro where the local women were preparing the pasos for the processions later that evening. But the throngs of people really unsettled me and I realised that whatever I expected walking the Camino to be, this wasn't it. I had an almost a panicky compulsion to leave the town and my travelling companion; to walk alone and in silence. So I returned to the albergue, packed my things, left a note of thanks to my pilgrim friend and left town as the sun was setting with nowhere to stay and not caring whether I slept under the stars. Immediately I started to feel better. I felt at ease, at home. I have written elsewhere about how I was given shelter that night by a good Samaritan, but the flight from Puenta La Reina was my tipping point where I 'got it', and realised that companionship was not something I could cope with at that time. Other people have drawn attention to the scene in the film The Way when Tom (Martin Sheen) falls in the river, almost drowns (a symbolic second baptism?), sleeps under the stars and from then on, seems to become more 'bedded down' to what the walk is for him.

I am interested in hearing if other folk walking the Camino ever got to a point where there had to be, or was, a separation of sorts, be it emotional, social, physical (or whatever), and where you recognised that you had to readjust your attitude to walking or your previous conception of what the Camino meant for you? I acknowledge that such 'tipping points' may be cumulative rather than a one stark epiphany, but would love to hear your thoughts.

Hi SEB,

It seems an unpopular view / experience to say that the Camino Frances is designed to take us from our day to day into a very complete journey of interspection, each geographical change providing the right formula for our mind to move along its own path to where it needs to go.

Just posting this to open a new avenue of discussion but after the last time I brought this up, I have learned not to allow those who disagree, fervently or otherwise, to draw me out.

 

[John Poulton]

Well, I filled up with that one Jim! Kitchen roll required...

 

[laineylainey]

This has been a wonderful thread thanks to SEB and everyone else for their stories. Two memories stand out for me. The first is 2012 when I started the CF in SJdPP with the clear intention of walking alone and within that "alone-ness" and silence I would have the chance to reflect on what to do when I retired..... 30 minutes out of SJdPP I stopped up that killer hill to sort out my boot and heard an Irish voice ask if I was okay, which started a walk and non-stop "life sharing stories" over the next 3 days and an ongoing Camino friendship over the next 3 years. The second, was over 4 years of walking the CF and the dread I started to feel about the Saria to Santiago section. Then out of the blue someone reminded me "all those extra people you meet at Sarria, some of whom in shiny new clothes and clean boots, they are pilgrims too and have the same right to walk that road...." Well all I can say is that those words so changed the way I experienced walking from Saria and I also found times (maybe 20 minutes or less) when I had a little bit of that road to myself...

 

[laineylainey]

thinking about "tipping points", the other thing I am reminded of is that sometimes I don't get what I want on the Camino but I often get what I need!! (true for my life as well!!!)

 

[MoniRose]

Interesting question.
Mine was when I arrived in Sarria. The start of my Camino I never took rest breaks, very task driven to get where i was going to sleep. I think this was out of some sort of fear. But my walking was heavy.
Then I met another pilgrim and we walked together for several days. He was easygoing, fun, and stopped at just about every bar for a coffee and cigarette. I stopped too cuz I enjoyed being with him.
When we stopped for the day, he would tease me about doing my “chores” (laundry, make my bed, shower) and he would go have his cigarette.
When we reached Sarria we got our beds, he dropped his bag and went out to the garden. Then something in me changed. I saw myself through another’s eyes. I dropped my bag too and followed and sat down with some other pilgrims.
He was shocked and asked why I wasn’t doing my chores. I saw I was now on a new Camino -a kinder, gentler Camino. My friend, who was from Cee in Galicia, called it my “Novo Camino”. And so it continued until the end!
Moni

 

[Purky]

Purky,, " Don't look back, unless you intend to go there."

Thanks @walkingstu, for the Thoreau quote. It got me thinking further about my own earlier post, and it also made me curious because there is something about that quote that met with steady resistance deep inside me. So I spent some time figuring out what it was that kept me from buying it. Along the way I learned some fun facts, so it was time well spent. I also think I have a better handle on my previous thoughts, which is even better.

But in the end it finally struck me: that quote sounds exactly like one of the many assumptions and expectations I've recently learned to question and, if need be, to dismiss. If this was unintentional: no harm done, I enjoyed thinking this through. But if it was in fact intentional, I need to say you are one subtle and slightly mischievous genius, and you will have my undying admiration.

 

[JamesGeier]

Thank you for sharing this story. Questions: do you know how you were exposed to the bacteria and do you have suggestions on how to avoid such a situation?

Cheryl,
I had a discussion with the doctor on the floor, and he said that it is a common bacteria, well-known to the people in the medical world, and he said it is almost impossible to tell where I got it. He said it is not from water; it may have been something as simple as me retying my boot laces, then eating an apple without washing my hands. I became more cautious after that about washing my hands.

I returned to walk the Camino Frances 18 months later in the autumn of 2017. Walking out of Carrion de los Condes felt like a little victory because in my previous Camino I left Carrion de los Condes in an ambulance and in a very dark place mentally. This second time it was an uplifting day, sunny, beautiful, and the walk with friends to Calzadilla de la Cueza was a very good day among so very many.
Buen Camino,
--jim--

 

[Kiwi-family]

One significant tipping point springs to mind - I squeezed toothpaste onto my six-year-old’s toothbrush one morning when she wanted to do it herself. She fussed for so long that in the end I sat down on the side of the road with her until she was ready to walk without grumbling (and scuffing her shoes and dawdling and whinging!) Unfortunately we sat for so long that by the time we made it to the albergue queue, the group in front of us took the last beds!

Having always walked with others (up to eight kids, husband, grandpa, brother-in-law....in various configurations) and having been caught in busy bubbles on both the Primitivo and Via de la Plata (the routes which everyone had said would be so quiet!), and having come across a big group on the San Salvador, I have always experienced the Camino as “community” rather than “solitary-ness”. In spite of this, I have discovered (even walking with children) much solitude as well.

I’m really looking forward to walking the Madrid route on my own in September (it will be the first time in my 48 years that I will have done something alone) - but I won’t be surprised if it ends up full of people and will enjoy it for what it turns out to be.

 

[mlhhome]

SEB,
I am enjoying the idea of a “Tipping Point”, as it has made me pause and reflect on those Camino moments that changed my Caminos and parts of my life. I believe we are all better versions of ourselves at the end of our pilgrimages. We are better because we allow our authentic selves to listen and interact. We struggle through challenges with others who give themselves without expectations of repayment or recognition. We too, improve our empathetic abilities and learn to be available to fellow pilgrims.
On my first Camino between Montes de Oca and St Juan de Ortega, I walked with a Norwegian and probably said six words after our simple introductions. He talked of this work, family and relationships challenges, possible solutions and the best ways to encourage these important people into meaningful conversations. He knew exactly why he was walking the Camino and needed the time, space and perhaps a non-judgmental person to listen. At the monastery we parted, but in reality he is still walking with me. I learned so many lessons about listening, just being there, being non-judgmental, taking quiet time to truly review my relationships and to make concrete plans to make them better. I realized that night in Agés, that my Camino wasn’t just about me and this experience has been the driving force to my four time return to the Camino. I believe I am better because of a 10K walk with a guy from Bergen.

FYI-The section of the Camino Frances I was dreading has become my sacred path.

Mike

 

[chinacat]

SEB,
I am enjoying the idea of a “Tipping Point”, as it has made me pause and reflect on those Camino moments that changed my Caminos and parts of my life. I believe we are all better versions of ourselves at the end of our pilgrimages. We are better because we allow our authentic selves to listen and interact. We struggle through challenges with others who give themselves without expectations of repayment or recognition. We too, improve our empathetic abilities and learn to be available to fellow pilgrims.
On my first Camino between Montes de Oca and St Juan de Ortega, I walked with a Norwegian and probably said six words after our simple introductions. He talked of this work, family and relationships challenges, possible solutions and the best ways to encourage these important people into meaningful conversations. He knew exactly why he was walking the Camino and needed the time, space and perhaps a non-judgmental person to listen. At the monastery we parted, but in reality he is still walking with me. I learned so many lessons about listening, just being there, being non-judgmental, taking quiet time to truly review my relationships and to make concrete plans to make them better. I realized that night in Agés, that my Camino wasn’t just about me and this experience has been the driving force to my four time return to the Camino. I believe I am better because of a 10K walk with a guy from Bergen.

FYI-The section of the Camino Frances I was dreading has become my sacred path.

Mike

Thank you for your lovely post!
.... for its honesty, humility and perceptiveness ...
I loved reading it

 

[chinacat]

Okay ... I have decided to post my own reply to this thread.

I haven’t a clue how the Camino found its way into my consciousness, but less than 2 months later, in mid-September 2009, my 18 year old daughter and I (62nd birthday in Burgos) arrived in SJPdP. I’d picked up a bug on the 24 hour train journey and so we spent 2 days in that lovely town before I walked over the route Napoléon with a 102º fever

My first Camino angel was the man who owned the pension we stayed in; he gave me a French remedy, based on the same herbs and spices that I would have brewed for myself, had I been at home, and told me where I could buy a bottle to take with us.

We took 3 weeks to reach Rabé, on the edge of the meseta, from where my daughter had to go to the hospital in Burgos, with a hamstring injury. The A&E doctor said she couldn’t walk any further ... and certainly couldn’t carry a pack. I bought a luggage trolley in Burgos and dragged her pack behind me ... no problem except when having to descend and ascend stairs in stations when trains were departing imminently!

We took the train to SdC and spent a few days there.

We both had an intense Camino experience. So many things happened in those 3 short weeks.
My daughter did not think back on it with fondness.

I found what many others have experienced ... it was so easy to be my authentic self. I could share what I had and be open, without others regarding me as odd; I could allow strangers to show me kindness and accept their help as the gift freely given. We allow each other to be the best we can be, we ‘hear’ each other, and we are happy to have little and to be able to share what we have. If something caused pain, or hardship, I would turn around and find something/someone wonderful before me. I danced, laughed, cried, sang, skipped and loved.
Most importantly, I felt the freedom to trust ...
and I was left with a longing to return.

Not long after we came home, I developed a bizarre medical condition, with an unknown cause, which necessitates my going to A&E on a regular basis. It causes a severe threat to my airway. I realised I couldn’t even think of walking a Camino. There is no way I could land an overworked hospitalero/a with the responsibility of getting me to an emergency department in the middle of the night (it always happens at night ... but there has, so far, always been time to reach help, or for help to reach me. I do carry epipens and other meds)

A few months ago, I returned to this forum ... El Camino wouldn’t lie down and sleep ... at least, not in my head or heart.

About a month ago, a new thought entered my consciousness. I had already had a genuinely deep Camino experience ... perhaps I should recognise that despite my longing to return, and the feeling that I ‘ought’ to finish it, I had already been blessed with that grace ... and that perhaps I could feel content and grateful for what I had been granted.

I believe this was an important ‘tipping point’ for me.

Acceptance is a powerful state of being ... it can have unexpected consequences.

Two weeks ago, out of the blue, my lovely daughter told me that she thought we should go back; that she felt bad about having been the cause of our Camino having ended.
I immediately put her right on that ... I told her that there was no blame to attach to anyone or anything, and that she shouldn’t feel guilty in any way at all!

She is now a strong, capable young woman and would have no problem organising an ambulance for me, should it be necessary.

So we plan to walk two short stages, each of about a week, in 2020 and 2021. She cannot take more than about 10 or 11 days off at a time from her very busy working life, and we both need to get fit (the ‘condition’ prevents me from taking aerobic exercise) and a bit more financially healthy!
We haven’t chosen a route yet ... one with easier access to hospitals would seem to be sensible, but that might mean busier trails. Nearer the time I will seek advice on here.

Trust ... it all comes down to trust ....

 

[LGLG]

Wow, Chinacat... what an amazing journey, completed with an inner resolution, and to be continued with a new calling...
After my third Camino, now also about a dozen years ago, I also didn't think I was going to be able to go back. But after my husband started to think about his first one. I've now committed myself to walk again on the Camino next month. Despite my attempts at planning, I refrain from deciding how well or how far this should be. Having received the call again, I trust that the stars on the Way will guide me, and that all will be revealed in due time. As it will for you. My prayers are with you.

 

[chinacat]

Wow, Chinacat... what an amazing journey, completed with an inner resolution, and to be continued with a new calling...
After my third Camino, now also about a dozen years ago, I also didn't think I was going to be able to go back. But after my husband started to think about his first one. I've now committed myself to walk again on the Camino next month. Despite my attempts at planning, I refrain from deciding how well or how far this should be. Having received the call again, I trust that the stars on the Way will guide me, and that all will be revealed in due time. As it will for you. My prayers are with you.

... as are mine with you ...

 

[RumAndChupacabras]

@chinacat #39

:' } bwaaaah

 

[Marbe2]

Thank you, China Cat for sharing part of your Camino journey! I do hope you find relief from your current condition....many blessings!!