Traveling with family and friends

[zolarose]

I travelled my first camino (Francés) on my own in 2014 from SJPdP to Santiago. I met wonderful friends and enjoyed the special ways I learned about myself while I was there "alone".

Next year, my husband and my brother want to go with me on the Camino. I would have preferred another route so it would be new for me but I'm totally alright doing the Francés again so they can experience it. (Important note: we all get along very well and are good about not "clinging" to each other. But, I watched dear friends struggle on the route when I was there. so i'm a little concerned.

I'm curious what advice others may have about traveling with family/friends. What do you wish you had done differently? What worked well?

Going alone allowed me to walk away when I was growing tired of a dynamic or needed time to myself. How can I still enjoy the spirituality and quiet of the Camino while traveling along with people who expect to stay with me much of the time?

Further info about our situation- My Spanish is more than passable but not fluent. Their Spanish is non-existant. I've traveled extensively outside of the US. My brother never has, my husband has only once.

I really look forward to your ideas and advice. I know there will be struggles and joys. It's nice to hear from others who've been there.

Sandi

 

[CaminoDebrita]

I travelled my first camino (Francés) on my own in 2014 from SJPdP to Santiago. I met wonderful friends and enjoyed the special ways I learned about myself while I was there "alone".

Next year, my husband and my brother want to go with me on the Camino. I would have preferred another route so it would be new for me but I'm totally alright doing the Francés again so they can experience it. (Important note: we all get along very well and are good about not "clinging" to each other. But, I watched dear friends struggle on the route when I was there. so i'm a little concerned.

I'm curious what advice others may have about traveling with family/friends. What do you wish you had done differently? What worked well?

Going alone allowed me to walk away when I was growing tired of a dynamic or needed time to myself. How can I still enjoy the spirituality and quiet of the Camino while traveling along with people who expect to stay with me much of the time?

Further info about our situation- My Spanish is more than passable but not fluent. Their Spanish is non-existant. I've traveled extensively outside of the US. My brother never has, my husband has only once.

I really look forward to your ideas and advice. I know there will be struggles and joys. It's nice to hear from others who've been there.

Sandi

I suggest that first, you teach them HOW to find a taxi in case they need it. Have rendezvous towns, and everyone have wifi on their phone so you can reconnect when you separate for awhile.

I would make clear that separations are very likely, and in fact, healthy.

Others have suggested this, and I will too. Walk your OWN pace. No one should speed up. No one should slow down. Begin together perhaps, and then agree to meet up on Logrono at day's end. Agree to meet at a cafe, or an albergue, or somewhere---if you want to sleep at the same place. But make sure everyone knows they may be responsible for their own bed, right?

You may stay at different places. It won't hurt! Then have breakfast, and begin again.

If someone really wants four or five days of solitude, that should be ok. No one walking El Camino needs total proficiency. Learn the words for cafe con leche, bread, bocadillo, servicios (bathroom), etc. Google translate will help. Let them become self sufficient.

Have boundaries in place, and let them know that to really enjoy some solitude, you will need some. So will they!

Are these helpful for you? If not, just ignore them!

Buen Camino---
Deb

 

[zolarose]

Thank you Deb. These are wonderful pieces of advice. I'll tuck them away for the trip.

Sandi

 

[nycwalking]

Why don't each of you use the time to either learn or improve your Spanish?

 

[HeidiL]

When I walk with my husband, we adjust our speeds by redistributing backpack weight and poles/no poles. This means that I walk with a bigger backpack than most, because I know that I at some point am going to take over half the weight in his pack.

When we walk with our young and strapping son, the oldsters have poles, he doesn't, and we have a standing agreement to meet in the first bar in the next village when he gets bored of walking at our pace.

And we all have mobile phones (that are left ON, do you read me, husband dear?) so we can rech each other when we split up.

But I think we're fairly compatible. We walk separately less than 10 % of the way.

 

[HedaP]

Did the opposite to you. Walked my first camino with sister and brother in law and my second camino alone. On the first we walked at our own pace which meant they often arrived each day long before I diid. We had lots of fun each evening. Not to mention they booked beds for me in the beginning and when they got blisters and I didn"t, I booked for them. I missed them so much the second camino. It's such a blessing to walk with family.

 

[Robo]

I suggest that first, you teach them HOW to find a taxi in case they need it. Have rendezvous towns, and everyone have wifi on their phone so you can reconnect when you separate for awhile.

I would make clear that separations are very likely, and in fact, healthy.

Others have suggested this, and I will too. Walk your OWN pace. No one should speed up. No one should slow down. Begin together perhaps, and then agree to meet up on Logrono at day's end. Agree to meet at a cafe, or an albergue, or somewhere---if you want to sleep at the same place. But make sure everyone knows they may be responsible for their own bed, right?

You may stay at different places. It won't hurt! Then have breakfast, and begin again.

If someone really wants four or five days of solitude, that should be ok. No one walking El Camino needs total proficiency. Learn the words for cafe con leche, bread, bocadillo, servicios (bathroom), etc. Google translate will help. Let them become self sufficient.

Have boundaries in place, and let them know that to really enjoy some solitude, you will need some. So will they!

Are these helpful for you? If not, just ignore them!

Buen Camino---
Deb

Thanks Deb. Good tips. I shall have Pat read this before our CF next year

Though it may fall on stony ground..... on our test run from Sarria last year I was not allowed to be out of sight

 

[Antonius Vaessen]

My first Camino I started alone and met many people.
My second Camino I walked with a friend, it was very nice but having a nice companion in someway influenced the intensity and quantity of contacts with others.
Regarding learning Spanish language. In preparation for my last Camino Everyday I walked 1,5 -3 hours. I walked with a headphone and listened to a Spanish course " language transfer". It is free and available on the web. I liked it very much, it emphasizes understanding the language in stead of memorising. As much as possible it starts with words that are similar in English and Spanish and builds up from there.
For me it served 3 purposes : while physically training I improved my knowledge of spanish and I could catch up on my english.

 

[John Sikora]

I would think that the most important item here would be the make sure that THEY walk alone a good part of the time. Given that both members haven't had a lot of international travel experience, it would really provide them with a great experience. You'd be nearby or reachable but they would experience one of the joys of the Camino (meeting people from countries that you've never been too with interests totally unlike yours). The natural inclination would be for them to stay close to you because of your experience. The better thing to do would be to make them walk alone (again because of your experience). Family is great and there were times when I walked my Camino that I wished I had a friend/family to talk with. But then, all of sudden, someone came out of nowhere, said "Buen Camino" and I had a friend and new member of my extended family to walk with for a few hours or a few days.

 

[domigee]

I'm curious what advice others may have about traveling with family/friends. What do you wish you had done differently? What worked well?
Sandi

I walk well with a friend of mine - actually another pilgrim met the first night in Roncesvalles. We walk each at our pace (he's faster) and that gives us both the space....to be alone....if that makes sense. It is important to me (and to him, I am sure )
We always catch up with each other at the first bar though! And yes, there are still plenty of times when we walk together but there is no 'obligation' on either side.

After a day or so you'll soon find out what works for you, don't worry.

 

[Felipe]

Well, I had a "not so wonderful" experience with a second Camino with dear ones. At the end it was good, but I discovered that you can get along very well in daily life, but walking together many days is a completely different thing. Especially, food, lodgments and preferred distances may differ a lot. Some previous warnings (you know, not every experience and moment is great and rosy in the Camino) and agreements would be advisable.
As you are the experienced one, and the only one that can speak Spanish, you will tend fo fall inevitably into the role of guide, organizer and mediator -which could be quite taxing. I was frustrated at the beginning, until I decided that I already had had a solo pilgrimage, and probably would have others -so, this time, I should care for somebody else's preferences and likings, not mine. As I lowered my personal expectations, things were smoother and, actually, I started to enjoy much more my walk.
Buen (shared) Camino!

 

[domigee]

...but I discovered that you can get along very well in daily life, but walking together many days is a completely different thing. Especially, food, lodgments and preferred distances may differ a lot. Some previous warnings (you know, not every experience and moment is great and rosy in the Camino) and agreements would be advisable.

Buen (shared) Camino!

Actually, 'triple like' @Felipe !

 

[Deleted member 43985]

As I lowered my personal expectations, things were smoother and, actually, I started to enjoy much more my walk.

I agree with @filipe however would change the wording slightly to say "as I adjusted my needs and expectations...". I knew from the beginning my wife would not be comfortable on her own so I made a conscious decision that I would use this opportunity to make this Camino more about her needs than my needs. I know I will return and have more wonderful experiences so was happy that she was happy and together we had a great experience.

I think it's important for those who have travelled extensively to try and remember the challenges and insecurities we had in the beginnings of our travels. I know it's not terribly tough to communicate with people along the Camino however if it makes your significant other less comfortable, why would you want that?

There is still a great Camino ahead for you. It's just going to be different and from my experience, that's ok!
Buen Camino!

 

[Felipe]

I agree with @filipe however would change the wording slightly to say "as I adjusted my needs and expectations...".

Indeed. That's the word. It should be more about giving and being generous with your time and efforts, rather than about sacrificing. But it takes some time to realize it.

 

[CaminoDebrita]

I agree with @filipe however would change the wording slightly to say "as I adjusted my needs and expectations...". I knew from the beginning my wife would not be comfortable on her own so I made a conscious decision that I would use this opportunity to make this Camino more about her needs than my needs. I know I will return and have more wonderful experiences so was happy that she was happy and together we had a great experience.

I think it's important for those who have travelled extensively to try and remember the challenges and insecurities we had in the beginnings of our travels. I know it's not terribly tough to communicate with people along the Camino however if it makes your significant other less comfortable, why would you want that?

There is still a great Camino ahead for you. It's just going to be different and from my experience, that's ok!
Buen Camino!

Spouses are a horse of a different color, as Frank Baum would have his characters say!

My husband has travelled with me to Japan, Thailand, Cambodia, Mexico, Scotland, and England--and would never have travelled without my support and encouragement. He is not a traveller; I have been for years. I would never put him in an uncomfortable situation, or leave his side if he felt uncomfortable--but there were occasions when I nudged him out of his comfort zone, and he was delighted with the results.

He now has two friends who want to walk the Camino Frances, and so guess who is now putting his hand up?

I'm really pleased with that. In fact, there is no one in the world that I more enjoy traveling with. My husband notices everything- e v e r y t h i n g --and especially those things I miss. His keen eye for architecture makes him exceptional for commentary, and he has a sense of humor that amuses himself, me, and anyone around. I'll never forget watching him at the airport in S. Korea drinking beer and eating peanuts with a large group of Chinese men. They didn't understand a thing my husband said, but they could tell he was just one heck of a guy.

If you are lucky enough to have a husband, wife, or partner to travel with that enriches your journey, you are lucky indeed.

 

[C clearly]

so guess who is now putting his hand up?

Amazing!

(I just hope my husband doesn't put his hand up!)

I am more of a traveler than my husband, but have happily found that we can travel well together. It just requires (as others have said) that we don't go either "my" way or "his" way, but craft a different approach for "us." I am relieved that he has no interest in the Camino.

 

[domigee]

(I just hope my husband doesn't put his hand up!)
.

 

[Purky]

I struggled with the same challenge, twice actually, this year. Took my 16 year old son with me on the Camino Ingles for a week and walked 18 days with my wife in the Netherlands. It was not quite like the earth-shattering solo camino I walked last year. I think Felipe nailed it with his earlier post. For me it also turned out to be a balance thing, and I ended up enjoying myself much more when I finally removed my own traveling preferences out of the equation.

What also helped was talking to each other honestly. How long do you want to walk, where would you like to end up today, any thoughts on dinner tonight, that kind of stuff. Reach a mutual agreement in the morning and stick to it, if logistically possible. That way everyone is involved in the decision-making and knows the plan. Find common ground and walk it together.

 

[Robo]

Lots of very open and honest answers here, which I can only agree with. So I'll add my 2 cents worth.

My first Camino (alone CF from St Jean) was truly life changing. It was everything I could have hoped for, Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually.

My second with my wife from Sarria, was a 'nice walk together'. It was her walk, and I was the guide/supporter. Like some of the spouses of others mentioned above, she is not confident to travel alone, and never has been. Even walking out of sight of me would make her worry. We do everything together. I love her dearly and enjoy her company. So there is no one I would rather walk 800 kms with. I just need to accept that I am there to help her on her journey, as well as myself.

She walks a lot slower, is 5' 1" to my 5' 8". Is very petite and can only carry a small pack. (4kg) As she suffers from bad knees and Plantaar Faciitis.

I speak a smattering of tourist Spanish. Enough to ask for things and book accommodation. She struggles with English So she's not about to learn Spanish any time soon.

So for my third Camino, with my wife from St Jean, I recognise I need different expectations. I can't expect the same experience of my first 'lone' Camino. That may come later, on different routes, on my own.

For this next Camino, it is 'Our' Camino. And I need to build on the 'test run' of last year to make it a great experience for both of us. I'll have other lone Caminos. I know she won't want to do a 'long' one again, and will do all I can to make sure she loves this one and has the chance to experience all that walking a longer (more than 100) Camino can offer, such as the sense of confidence and achievement that grows along the way. I find this takes 3 weeks or more of walking.

I'll try to encourage her to have some alone time, within her comfort zone. To say we'll meet at the next village won't work! She'll imagine 100 ways to get lost, fall down a gully or get trampled by a cow But for example where there are sections that I know are impossible to get lost, I'll suggest she walk on ahead. Maybe even out of sight! I'll bring up the rear and never be too far behind.

We tend to walk apart anyway, but within sight of each other. I like to blast up the hills, and I wait at the top with a snack at the ready. (we both carry a phone so we have means of contact, just in case). I manage the 'map'. Letting her know the distance/time to villages etc, but she dictates the distance for the day, when to stop and so on.

So my 'take'?

We are likely to disagree at times. We may argue at times. But we are quick to 'make up'. So this next Camino won't be like my first lone one. But it will be great. It will just be different. And I'll need to learn and grow in a different way this time. To focus on the well being of another person. And that in itself will be a very worthwhile and valuable experience, for one who can be a bit self absorbed at times

We will both be the better for it.....

Now..........where shall I go for my next 'lone' Camino?

 

[Robo]

How can I still enjoy the spirituality and quiet of the Camino while traveling along with people who expect to stay with me much of the time?

I'm not sure you can Sandi....... You won't be alone....

I struggled with the same questions in my mind last year.
Maybe you need to adjust your expectations?

 

[Cambridge Pilgrim]

I recently finished walking from SJPdP to SdC with my other half; Peregrino Tez.

The furthest apart we were for the entire 500 miles was when he went to get some money out of an ATM a couple of hundred metres away. Otherwise it was when one of us was in the shower! We wouldn't have had it any other way.

Maybe we're just lucky in that we like each other's company better than anyone else's, including our own and so the need to be alone just didn't enter the equation. In fact we saw a few couples and family groups who were walking at very different paces and found it strange (to us).

For us I think it's about sharing the experience with the most important person in your life. Without P.Tez, my Camino just wouldn't have been the same.

Of course, it helps that he generally just goes along with whatever I suggest!

I totally accept that things could be different with a third person in the group and for other people...

All the couples/families we saw walking at different paces ended up at the same cafés and albergues. As far as I could tell (often being next in line in the albergue), first to arrive booked rooms for all in their party though I'm not sure that would work outside of private albergues.

I'm quite sure that you'll naturally work out what's right for you.

Buen Camino! It's great that you can share yours with your husband and brother!

 

[Robo]

I recently finished walking from SJPdP to SdC with my other half; Peregrino Tez.

Sounds like you had a great time

Just out of curiosity. Have you walked a lone Camino?

It's a very different experience and I wonder how they compared.

 

[Camino Chrissy]

I walked the Frances my first time in 2015 with my adult son who is in his 30's. He took good care of me as he is a long distance backpacker having done a large portion of the Appalachian Trail, John Muir Trail and Colorado Trail with 1700 miles of hiking experience. I always walked behind him just a little, but never out of sight. I love to travel but never go alone. We made a few interesting friendships and I now meet up yearly with three of them for what we call our "mini Camino reunions", choosing a different location each time.

In 2016 my son accompanied me once again on the Norte/Primitivo and it was also a good experience. We met some new acquaintances along the way and enjoyed their company walking, and sharing a few meals together.

My oldest son and his wife, after seeing pictures of these trips and being adventure travelers themselves, decided to join us this past spring of 2017. We repeated the Frances since it was their first Camino. We eventually decided to start contacting albergues ahead of time to secure lodging for the coming night since we needed 4 beds and many places were quite busy. Although we got along well overall, our most stressful times were looking for bars or restaurants that our group could all agree on for meals. I also had some angst just hoping they all were having a good time...after all, just because I've loved my experiences doesn't mean they would. Although we met a few interesting folks this time, I could tell that by being our own group of four, we had fewer interactions with others. Although the older son and his wife enjoyed the Camino, I doubt they will plan another one as my son often would comment, "We're walking along so many roads we could just rent a car and drive the Camino." Well, for me it just wouldn't be the same at all and I would have no interest whatsoever in driving it.

I will be walking the Le Puy route to Moissac in June with two of my Camino friends, which will be a very different experience as well, and am looking forward to this "girls'" walk for a different dynamic altogether.

I have no experience in being alone on the Camino, but from what I gather it has its own type of uniqueness as those pilgrims usually have better opportunities to form many new friendships along the way.

 

[C clearly]

I know she won't want to do a 'long' one again

Your record on this sort of prediction is not good!

 

[Robo]

Your record on this sort of prediction is not good!

Hmmmm. You could be right

 

[VNwalking]

We are likely to disagree at times. We may argue at times.

What also helped was talking to each other honestly.

Yes! Walking together can bring all sorts of things up. It helps to expect this, and to understand that while the journey may sometimes be fraught with disagreements, they can actually be the doorway into a more heartfelt connection if both parties are willing to do the work of working through whatever it is. Compassion and honesty and mutual respect are the keys. The camino can nudge relationships into a different, and deeper, places that way. Good relationships can get even better - at least that was my experience after my first camino, which I did with an old and good friend.

And I'll need to learn and grow in a different way this time. To focus on the well being of another person. And that in itself will be a very worthwhile and valuable experience

Exactly.

He now has two friends who want to walk the Camino Frances, and so guess who is now putting his hand up?

!

 

[Robo]

Some interesting responses and thoughts @VNwalking

The fact appears to be.........

That walking alone is just plain 'easier' and can be far more 'fulfiling'.

Whilst walking with someone else, actually requires considerably more 'effort'.....

Maybe those setting out on their first Camino, and worried about walking alone, should read this thread

Alone? Yippee!!!!

 

[VNwalking]

That walking alone is just plain 'easier' and can be far more 'fulfiling'.
Whilst walking with someone else, actually requires considerably more 'effort'.....

Well, as I see it, it's a matter of having different means to the same end.
Walk alone and there's the opportunity to do solitary 'inner work.'
Walk in company and there's the opportunity to use relationship as a way to learn about old habits and habitual reactions and communication and letting go. All of that is 'inner work' too, but coming from another direction.

I have to say that I find both equally fulfilling. And equally challenging.
It's just a different flavour of challenge.

[Edit - And some people may gravitate to the solitary way, while others find company is more useful the inner exploration. Both are equally good!]

 

[Robo]

Well, as I see it, it's a matter of having different means to the same end.
Walk alone and there's the opportunity to do solitary 'inner work.'
Walk in company and there's the opportunity to use relationship as a way to learn about old habits and habitual reactions and communication and letting go. All of that is 'inner work' too, but coming from another direction.

I have to say that I find both equally fulfilling. And equally challenging.
It's just a different flavour of challenge.

[Edit - And some people may gravitate to the solitary way, while others find company is more useful the inner exploration. Both are equally good!]

A very healthy attitude

As I said up the page a bit. I look forward to learning some 'different' lessons

 

[Cambridge Pilgrim]

...I also think that we can overanalyse things at times and worry too much.

On your own, with family, with friends... what's the worst that can happen?

(Divorce aside).

By the way, I found that walking with someone else required no effort beyond that to actually cover the ground.

 

[scott the farmer]

Depends on how you approach it
First Camino was all about me and to be fair I was quite selfish
Last time it was all about my wife and making it good for her
So it was a Camino based on giving and ended up giving me more than I expected!
It will still be great trust me

 

[zolarose]

Well, I had a "not so wonderful" experience with a second Camino with dear ones. At the end it was good, but I discovered that you can get along very well in daily life, but walking together many days is a completely different thing. Especially, food, lodgments and preferred distances may differ a lot. Some previous warnings (you know, not every experience and moment is great and rosy in the Camino) and agreements would be advisable.
As you are the experienced one, and the only one that can speak Spanish, you will tend fo fall inevitably into the role of guide, organizer and mediator -which could be quite taxing. I was frustrated at the beginning, until I decided that I already had had a solo pilgrimage, and probably would have others -so, this time, I should care for somebody else's preferences and likings, not mine. As I lowered my personal expectations, things were smoother and, actually, I started to enjoy much more my walk.
Buen (shared) Camino!

Thank you. That's wonderful advice. I've recently come to the same conclusion about letting the two of them mold a bit more of the flow . But it's good to hear that you were able to make that plan work out for you.

My brother is very "chill" . So is my husband. My brother has never traveled outside of the US so I know I'll be his cultural guide for a short time. I'm a professional sign language interpreter so I'm used to mediating cultures. I might do it more out of habit. But he's a very independent guy. I suspect he'll catch on quick and it will work out.
My husband is pretty much okay being with either of us but he is far more likely to forget things like filling up on water at fuentes or checking which town he's just entered. It will be an adventure. I'll keep my expectations just low enough to keep myself and "the guys" happy.

Buen Camino!

 

[zolarose]

My first Camino I started alone and met many people.
My second Camino I walked with a friend, it was very nice but having a nice companion in someway influenced the intensity and quantity of contacts with others.
Regarding learning Spanish language. In preparation for my last Camino Everyday I walked 1,5 -3 hours. I walked with a headphone and listened to a Spanish course " language transfer". It is free and available on the web. I liked it very much, it emphasizes understanding the language in stead of memorising. As much as possible it starts with words that are similar in English and Spanish and builds up from there.
For me it served 3 purposes : while physically training I improved my knowledge of spanish and I could catch up on my english.

what a great idea. I'll pass it along to my brother and husband.

 

[hal_cpt]

Good luck Sandi.

For what it's worth I'm in more or less exactly the same situation. I walked my first Camino alone in 2013, and learned a lot about myself on the way (including, apparently, that I can be much more social among strangers than I had realised!) Next month I will be walking the Camino Portugues with my partner. I will be emphasising a different set of personal goals this time, and my partner is recovering from some mental health issues, so will have their own very distinctive experience.

I'm a little nervous because last time, I witnessed the end of a close friendship between some people I met on the way who were journeying together, but also saw others draw closer together.

So I suppose the main thing is for all parties to be compassionate and flexible in their approach.

Please do let us know how it goes!

 

[Susan Peacock]

Having done 3 Camino's with friends (all still friends), my advice would be to discuss mutual expectations before you go. Some things to consider:
1) We found that after the first few days, we enjoyed walking on our own schedule. Some were early risers, others were barely out the door at 8:00 a.m. We also definitely had different paces. Some days we started together and spread out after 2nd breakfast, some days we didn't walk together at all, and a few days mostly in the beginning and end we walked together the entire day.
2) Walking separately encouraged us to spend more time alone reflecting as well as more time with other Pilgrims. We enjoyed reuniting at the end of the day; sharing experiences and introducing our new friends.
3) Traveling together, but walking separately did mean that we usually had to pick a stopping place. This worked well for us as we were not in a hurry. The more people in a party can present issues with getting beds in the same albergue.
4) Discuss what you will do in case someone needs to stop for a day or two in case of injury or blisters. Will you go ahead and have them bus to you, or will you wait on them. We decided it was best to discuss this issue before we were in the heat of the moment. You may change your mind but at least everyone is on the same page before you start.
5) Be sure everyone has the tools they need...apps and maps...so they don't become dependent on you.

I found that just having discussed these things before starting the Camino made it easy. Everyday was different just the way it should be.
I loved my Camino's and developed even closer relationships with my friends. It can definitely be a wonderful and fulfilling experience. Buen Camino!

 

[zolarose]

My first Camino I started alone and met many people.
My second Camino I walked with a friend, it was very nice but having a nice companion in someway influenced the intensity and quantity of contacts with others.
Regarding learning Spanish language. In preparation for my last Camino Everyday I walked 1,5 -3 hours. I walked with a headphone and listened to a Spanish course " language transfer". It is free and available on the web. I liked it very much, it emphasizes understanding the language in stead of memorising. As much as possible it starts with words that are similar in English and Spanish and builds up from there.
For me it served 3 purposes : while physically training I improved my knowledge of spanish and I could catch up on my english.

I looked online and found the Language Transfer site. Thanks for the heads up! My husband is planning to listen and do what he can. Not sure about my bro. He doesn't live nearby so we'll see. I'm not too worried about it. I've decided to let that part go. I'm a professional sign language interpreter so I know my limits and when to say no. I'll just need to take those skills with me.

 

[zolarose]

Having done 3 Camino's with friends (all still friends), my advice would be to discuss mutual expectations before you go. Some things to consider:
1) We found that after the first few days, we enjoyed walking on our own schedule. Some were early risers, others were barely out the door at 8:00 a.m. We also definitely had different paces. Some days we started together and spread out after 2nd breakfast, some days we didn't walk together at all, and a few days mostly in the beginning and end we walked together the entire day.
2) Walking separately encouraged us to spend more time alone reflecting as well as more time with other Pilgrims. We enjoyed reuniting at the end of the day; sharing experiences and introducing our new friends.
3) Traveling together, but walking separately did mean that we usually had to pick a stopping place. This worked well for us as we were not in a hurry. The more people in a party can present issues with getting beds in the same albergue.
4) Discuss what you will do in case someone needs to stop for a day or two in case of injury or blisters. Will you go ahead and have them bus to you, or will you wait on them. We decided it was best to discuss this issue before we were in the heat of the moment. You may change your mind but at least everyone is on the same page before you start.
5) Be sure everyone has the tools they need...apps and maps...so they don't become dependent on you.

I found that just having discussed these things before starting the Camino made it easy. Everyday was different just the way it should be.
I loved my Camino's and developed even closer relationships with my friends. It can definitely be a wonderful and fulfilling experience. Buen Camino!

Thanks. These are great points. I loved walking alone and with my new friends the first time. This is just going to be a little different experience. Not better or worse...just different.

I should have added that the wrinkle in this is that I was adopted at birth. My brother is my biological brother. We reunited 22 years ago and get along very well. But we live 2,000 miles apart. So we have only recently been in the place to spend tons of time together (he retired last year) . A month together this summer at my house and we were still having a good time. But what do I really know about him? So I'm looking at this as a chance to really get the good, the bad, and the ugly on each other. After I took a moment to look at it that way, I started to feel better about it. In a way, we still have so much to learn about each other. What a cool way to do it, right?

The distance is making it a little tough to have deep discussions but we'll get there by Spring. I really appreciate everyone's ideas and thoughts. Love this community.

Sandi

 

[zolarose]

Good luck Sandi.

For what it's worth I'm in more or less exactly the same situation. I walked my first Camino alone in 2013, and learned a lot about myself on the way (including, apparently, that I can be much more social among strangers than I had realised!) Next month I will be walking the Camino Portugues with my partner. I will be emphasising a different set of personal goals this time, and my partner is recovering from some mental health issues, so will have their own very distinctive experience.

I'm a little nervous because last time, I witnessed the end of a close friendship between some people I met on the way who were journeying together, but also saw others draw closer together.

So I suppose the main thing is for all parties to be compassionate and flexible in their approach.

Please do let us know how it goes!

Let me know how it goes for you.

 

[Robo]

...I also think that we can overanalyse things at times and worry too much.

On your own, with family, with friends... what's the worst that can happen?

(Divorce aside).

There was a story on here somewhere, maybe someone has a link......... It went something like this........

The Pilgrims observed a couple.
They were standing on either side of the street, yelling at each other.
Hurling their packs across the road at each other......


When I walked with Pat first time, we made a 'pact'.

Whatever happened, we would not be the subject of an online story!
"You'll never guess what we just saw"!

 

[Kiwi-family]

Whatever happened, we would not be the subject of an online story!
"You'll never guess what we just saw"!

I'm guessing you've never walked with a six year old;-)

 

[Robo]

I'm guessing you've never walked with a six year old;-)

No. And I never would! I'm not that Brave...

 

[Kiwi-family]

No. And I never would! I'm not that Brave...

Not brave? You're one of The Bravest.
Want proof?
You asked about carrying a rice cooker;-)

 

[David Tallan]

I walked the Camino Frances last summer with my son, who turned 16 on July 25th in Carrion de los Condes. I realize it isn't the same as walking with someone closer to your own age for whom you are not responsible so there will be differences.

We each had a cell phone and we had Spanish SIM cards so we could call each other. We had agreed at the outset that we would each walk at our own pace but if we separated we would wait at the next village for whomever was lagging. I tried to make sure he had enough money with him so that if he were waiting for me he could buy a coffee and a snack or something.

Early on, when I was having knee problems, he would often walk ahead of me, chatting with other pilgrims. I must admit to feeling a bit of envy at the time. Later, when my knees were more manageable and he had blister problems, I would walk ahead of him and wait for him at the next village. After a few days of this he confessed to me that he was struggling when left behind. He doesn't have the Spanish that I do and was feeling really alone. I made much more of an effort to walk with him after that.

Others above have talked about centering one's camino around your companion's needs. This experience helped to crystallize something I was learning on the Camino as a whole. We are all there to help and support our fellow pilgrims along. Whether they are permanent family, a Camino "family" or fellow pilgrims we only see once or twice the support we give each other is a major part of the Camino magic. It is true that "everyone walks their own Camino" in that our experiences and needs are all unique. But it is also true (at least on the Frances) that nobody really walks alone. The pilgrim community is a key part of the experience and a major way that "the Camino provides".

 

[zolarose]

I walked the Camino Frances last summer with my son, who turned 16 on July 25th in Carrion de los Condes. I realize it isn't the same as walking with someone closer to your own age for whom you are not responsible so there will be differences.

We each had a cell phone and we had Spanish SIM cards so we could call each other. We had agreed at the outset that we would each walk at our own pace but if we separated we would wait at the next village for whomever was lagging. I tried to make sure he had enough money with him so that if he were waiting for me he could buy a coffee and a snack or something.

Early on, when I was having knee problems, he would often walk ahead of me, chatting with other pilgrims. I must admit to feeling a bit of envy at the time. Later, when my knees were more manageable and he had blister problems, I would walk ahead of him and wait for him at the next village. After a few days of this he confessed to me that he was struggling when left behind. He doesn't have the Spanish that I do and was feeling really alone. I made much more of an effort to walk with him after that.

Others above have talked about centering one's camino around your companion's needs. This experience helped to crystallize something I was learning on the Camino as a whole. We are all there to help and support our fellow pilgrim's along. Whether they are permanent family, a Camino "family" or fellow pilgrims we only see once or twice the support we give each other is a major part of the Camino magic. It is true that "everyone walks their own Camino" in that our experiences and needs are all unique. But it is also true (at least on the Frances) that nobody really walks alone. The pilgrim community is a key part of the experience and a major way that "the Camino provides".

David,
I love your reply! Thank you so much.
Yes, we all speak of the Camino Angels who appear to help us out in our moments of need. I remember being an "Angel" for others as much as I recall those who did it for me. I like thinking of my family and myself in that light. So long as I remember to tell the guys when I need alone time, it should be fine. And, when I prefer not to be an interpreter for them I'll try to remember that leaves room for other angels to show up.
FYI- I'm a professional interpreter in "real life." And although my Spanish isn't half bad, I'm not fluent. I interpret in another language. Sometimes I need to remember that it's okay to say that I want to, or need to, step outside of that interpreter role. I slip into it too easily sometimes.

Sandi