The question was:
Still waiting for the opportune moment when everything aligns before I set out….made me ponder the real reason of why I’d want to do this…and I realized that it’s really to escape, the get away, to put behind the failures, heartbreaks, disappointments, lies, deceptions, backstabbings, betrayals, lost hopes, unfulfilled dreams….
I have had some mini-trips, last one being a few weeks ago where I travelled cross country from Istanbul to the eastern borders of Turkey on local buses, and at no time did I miss my old life with the items listed above. Returning to the routine life brought the dark thoughts back, now putting in time until the next trip.
Walking 900 – 1000 kms end to end and side spur trips, 60 days, to escape, to forget albeit temporarily, to live and enjoy each day like it’s my last (one day it will be), the feelings of euphoria as reality doesn’t matter….then to return to the issues that I ran away from. The issues and responsibilities and other things that age us too soon.
I now realize that as exciting as the pilgrimage will be, it won’t be different than a warm perfect summer day sooner or later giving way to a winter blizzard.
I can’t escape reality. May even feel worse as the memories of Spain and the freedom haunt and compare.
Anyone know what I’m talking about?
Read this interesting conversation on the reasons why we walk the Camino de Santiago here.