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You may well be right about what God wants of you. The only advice I would add to all of the thoughtful posts you have received is just to be patient. God (as I call the Higher Power) plays a long game. It has frustrated me many times when I've wanted an answer, guidance, wisdom on my timetable...
I recommend La Tienda and Despaña (as well as Donostia and Yummy Bazaar) for online Spanish ingredientes to cook at home. For restaurants, Boqueria in DC and NYC, or check out their online cooking classes!
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