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Life on the Camino - Miscellaneous Topics
Death: a new approach, an old approach
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[QUOTE="CaminoDebrita, post: 416047, member: 41369"] Thank you, every one of you wonderful people. I slept very well last night considering I drove the Camino Frances essentially yesterday--526 miles in a day. I had to keep pulling over to cry. It got so tangled up for me. My mom and stepdad were very imperfect people, and both of them smoked, drank, and gambled. I do not judge. I will say that they moderated each other very well, and after a few years of flying high, they settled down to take care of each other. They had a large nest egg that they had saved, and my mom inherited her grandmother's money--a substantial chunk. I tell this only to explain what happened next. When my mom died--leaving Wayne--he was really devastated, but remarried fairly soon. He and Patricia loved going to the casinos in Washington state, and they quickly burned through the money that he and my mom had saved. And yes, they burned through money that my mom had inherited from her mother. Again, this is only for story-telling--please don't read into this that I care about the money, as my personal feelings are, "do what you want with your life and your belongings". Live and let live. However....Wayne had an adopted daughter. He gave her everything. He had developed a large company and he passed it to her, with all the books, materials, employees, everything. The only caveat was that he would receive a paycheck each month. When the daughter found out that her dad had--in his humane weakness, and, I think, depression at losing not only my mother, but his previous wife, Linda of 37 years---gambled all of his money away, she shunned him, said horrible things about him all over their small town, and refused to see him. In his final three days, he lay dying, and he would whisper her name....despite his 98-year-old mother begging the daughter to come say farewell to her dad, she would not even visit. Not even a phone call. So, here we are. Yes, I am very sad, and that's normal, but I can hardly deal with the sadness that a person would do this to a parent. I have always felt that the closer we hold people, the closer we see the imperfections. May I always choose to hold people close. May I love the imperfections, and in so doing, understand my own. Mostly, I am furious at that woman who shunned her father, talked about him throughout town, and turned his own employees into frightened mice who know that if they go to his service, they could be fired or shunned, or taken out of the company's will--and I am trying to keep that anger at bay and just honor my stepdad. [/QUOTE]
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