Getting motivated to return.

[lynne marie]

I made it all the way to Spain to start my pilgrimage on August 17th of last year. I spent an extra day at the airport in Madrid, as flight on Iberia Air was overbooked. Before I caught my flight the next day, my daughter called to tell me that my nephew had died suddenly, and I returned that day to Canada. This is the first time that I have checked out the forum since returning home. I feel as though I want to return and start over, and have lost some of the passion that I experienced before events of last August. Any words of wisdom/advice?

 

[jefferyonthecamino]

shelf the idea until you are ready

sorry about your loss

 

[Elizabeth Cheung]

I feel you need to return. So many things get in the way or prevent us from finally doing the Camino. Is there ever a "right" time? Are we ever truly ready? Probably not. Not until we get there and then we are ready and the time becomes right. I think the Camino is more than ever ready for you and will hold you as you heal. I cannot speak of walking a Camino (I will do my first this April) but I can speak to the power of walking long distances and the profound way in which it changes you and heals those spaces in your heart you think can never be healed. You are being called. Trust in that.

 

[Tincatinker]

@lynne marie, I am sorry for your loss. The Camino calls, or it doesn't. If you are still intrigued by its call; if you still feel a need to walk an ancient route to a shrine that is proclaimed as the tomb of an Apostle to the Christ; if you still want to experience the incredible linear city, that Unesco World Heritage site, that is the camino Frances; if you would like to spend some time in quiet contemplation in assured good company; if you would like to test yourself in a long demanding hike; if you have any good reason to walk Camino then go, and walk.

There are times when life, normal, ordinary, indifferent life does things to our hopes and aspirations and plans that no amount of desire, passion or aspiration can overcome. Many walk Camino with broken hearts, stepping out of broken lives, carrying huge burdens of sadness and loss. That is one of the reasons that Camino is there when we need it.
The Camino doesn't change. It will always be there and when it is time for you to walk it you will walk it.

 

[Kiwi-family]

You may not have the same passion - your life is now tinged with a new grief. But do you still have some passion for a camino, a lingering curiosity? If so, you might still want to satisfy that.

 

[Saint Mike II]

The Camino - is many things to many people: a physical test; a mental test; spiritual enlightenment; inner contentment. Your first attempt ended in deep sadness even before it had really started so I can understand a perceived reluctance to return. Are you worried that something similar will happen if you start out again?
My recommendation "don't return until you really feel that call you had last August". Don't fret/worry, the Camino has been there for over a thousand years and will be there for another thousand years. Come when you ready.

 

[Marbe2]

Sorry for your loss. I think it is quite understandable given your experience to be a bit hesitant to starting over! You never got the opportunity to "Taste and See" and experienced loss before you began! Your searching the forum now may be a sign that the call to walk is surfacing again! You will know when it is time!!