It seems that what is missing in the US is walkability/good public transportation system as opposed to everybody owning a car and having to drive everywhere. Conviviality, sense of community or gathering in the square/cafe enjoying the company are all facilitated, to a great extent, by walkability/public transport system. Someone mentioned that there are plenty of places in Spain where the town square is, routinely, filled with people until the very late evening. I doubt that would be feasible if you have to drive your car in congested traffic and then spend more time trying to find a parking space instead of just walking or hopping onto a bus/metro to get to the square.
As a European who visits the US alot, the lack of public transport is the biggest issue by far. It makes life virtually impossible, as a non driver.
I guess for folks who live there, the lack of transport means you have to drive everywhere, which obviously means folks are isolated, it means there are no random street meets up, and adhoc gatherings just don’t happen. Drives obesity too. Public transport often just seems to be used by poor people outside the major cities, and even the LA subway is quite the experience!
Recently stayed in Miami Gates for two weeks in a very nice neighbourhood. I was there for a sporting event and had to walk 45 mins each way each day. On no occasion did I meet anyone walking. Not one. It was a nice walk and safe. In fact one day a chap picked me up and told me I was crazy walking all that way (he guessed I wasn’t from the USA). Every house seemed to have 3 or 4 vehicles outside it. There was a nice park nearby and again no one was there at all. Came back via Atlanta and downtown on a Saturday was very quiet!
For Spain read many parts of Europe. Even in the poorer areas such as Romania and Bulgaria where I have been the last few days, the transport, from country to country, city to city, and to the suburbs is great. Squares frequented by loads of folks with old men playing cards, young families in squares and so on!
The irony is, and the reason I love visiting the USA, is that I find Americans one of the most friendly, welcoming group of people on earth. I travel alone mainly and as soon as I walk into a bar, the chat starts. Can’t really think of anywhere in the the world where people are as friendly and hospitable, and will engage in conversation with such keenness. Always engaging, always upbeat. They would be for the ‘live outside’ culture!