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[QUOTE="Frogman7777, post: 861310, member: 95408"] That's interesting because the person I know who has completed a camino (Frances I think) is a very fit but even more so determined individual . I greatly admire her and because of that I wanted to prove to myself that I could also be determined and achieve something. As I said I have been going through a crisis and felt lost and inadequate/weak I suppose I find it very difficult and sad to not be going :( I completed a half marathon in March and my next step was to walk the camino. I feel really unhappy that I am not flying today , ready to start walking. Maybe I should have gone? It really hurts not to be going but as you can see from my approach in this thread - I'm just not ready, for whatever reason :( I haven't even done any long walks for about a month , whereas before I was training but I stopped Maybe I'm not supposed to do it, maybe it is not right for me and my mental health ? It really hurts though , not going to lie . Now I'm stuck at home thinking ok I need to change my life direction rather than going on a walk which would probably be an escape Ha better stop typing before I try to turn this into a therapy thread but I want to thank the people who said it takes courage to make this decision ❤ I didn't see it that way but now I understand because I yearn to go but something inside is telling me to slow down and be patient and kind to myself, so I have to leave it but it hurts When I was young I would travel and sleep rough often and live quite hard like that and it took it's toll on me. Now I have to accept I'm not the same. I am older and I need to be calmer and more relaxed , slower or I will cause myself even more damage. So going to walk a camino without knowing where I'm going , where to stay and all the covid19 troubles is just a bad idea overall and probably dangerous to my currently fragile mental health It hurts to accept though :( Never mind Thanks again to everyone and I will stick around on the forum and read about other's journeys and try not to feel too envious 🤦♂️ Good luck to everyone and stay safe 😊 [/QUOTE]
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